Chapter 9: Broken
It was the day of Halloween. Carver, Lulu, and I were chilling at the VIP table at Home Sweet Home. We didn't really have any plans for tonight. Apparently everyone's resources went into hosting my birthday so we kind of forgot about Halloween. Sure we talked about it. We even got our costumes, all made by Al of course, but we didn't exactly make plans for today. We let the days get ahead of I guess is what I'm trying to get at.
"So what are we doing for Halloween?" Lulu asked.
"We? I was gonna have Carver come over for a movie night," I said.
"Boring! Come on, it's Halloween Fang. We should go out and do something. I don't want to watch a movie all dressed up for nothing. We can have a movie night when we're thirty." Lulu turned to Carver with a look of desperation. "Can't you convince him? Do you really want to stay in and watch movies when you can do that on any other night?"
"I didn't want to complain but since you're saying something--"
"Wait you're siding with her? I thought you said you wanted to watch movies?" I asked.
"W-Well I didn't want to argue. I'm fine with whatever you want to do, but if I had the choice to do something else...I would do that." Carver said trailing off.
"Okay fine!" I said with my hands up. "We can go out. What do you guys have in mind?"
"Well that's the thing, I don't know. I just want to go out. How about you Carver?"
"I'm down for whatever."
"So let me see if I'm hearing this right. You guys don't want to do what I want to do, but you both don't know what you want to do? Does that sound about right?"
"Maybe we can go to a party?" Carver suggested. "I heard Chloe--"
"I'm not going to another one of Chloe's parties. Based on past experience, I don't want to make a fool of myself again. Also I'm pretty sure we're not welcome. She's like bloodhound. Even if we're dressed up, she's gonna know it's us."
"How about we go to a haunted house?" Lulu suggested. "Not a real one obviously. I don't need spirits attaching themselves to me. I heard there's one set up where the fair is."
"I don't know if Fang can handle that."
"Excuse me?" I said jabbing Carver at his side with my elbow.
"Ow!" Carver yelped.
"I'm not a baby. I can handle a fake haunted house."
"Really?" Carver asked unconvinced. "Remember when we watched Insidious a few nights ago? You freaked out at every ghost. I don't know if I can handle you screaming again. I just got my hearing back."
"Hey, ghosts in a movie and people dressed up in a haunted house are two different things. Unless there's an old lady at the haunted house, I think I'll be fine. Old people ghosts just hit differently."
"They're both fake and they can't hurt you. The only things that are gonna get hurt are my ears."
"But if I'm scared, that just gives me an excuse to get closer to you. Last time I checked, you really like it when I'm close to you," I teased as I nestled my head on his shoulder.
"W-Well I-I-I do like uh that," he stammered.
"Okay, stop with whatever this is," Lulu said wagging her finger at us. "I'm really happy for you two but I'm starting to feel like the third wheel. It's three thirty right now. So let's all head home, get in our costumes, and meet back here at six o'clock sharp. Ready? Break!"
"Costumes? We still have to wear our costumes?" Carver asked.
"Yes, it's Halloween."
"I don't think we're allowed to wear costumes in a haunted house though."
"Uh uh, don't wanna hear it. It is Halloween. We are all gonna be dressed up no matter what," Lulu replied as she walked away and out the door.
"What's wrong? I thought you liked your costume? You kept raving about it the other day."
"Well yeah I do like it and I think you're gonna get a kick out of it. There's just a lot of pieces to it. I don't know if I can actually move in it though. I never tried walking in it."
"I don't know if it's me, but you're making it seem like you're some kind of transformer."
"Well, I can definitely say that I'm not a transformer but--w-well you'll understand when you see it. Let's go," he said pointing out the window at his grandpa's station wagon. I still can't believe he's out here driving without a license and he hasn't gotten pulled over yet. Must be nice.
"Oh right, right, of course."
Carver and I walked out back to the car. It's still as dusty, if not more, as when we first took the car out for a drive. Maybe I should suggest to him to wash it sometime. I can finally live my Carly Rae Jepson fantasy in the "Call Me Maybe" video. The drive back to his place was pretty quiet. The radio was still busted and the lingering stench of tobacco still filled the car.
Carver kept one hand on the wheel and one on my thigh. It felt nice but I'm starting to feel like he wants a little more from me and I don't know how to tell him that I'm not ready for that part of the relationship, not yet anyway. We never really talked about sex but I have a feeling he wants to be closer to me in that way. I mean everyone wants that kind of closeness, that kind of intimacy. I feel guilty, selfish even. We already told each other that we love each other and we still haven't had sex. I can't lie and say that a part of me thinks that since we haven't done it yet that maybe, just maybe it's not all real. Maybe once he has me, he wouldn't want me anymore and for other reasons that I haven't had the guts to say.
"Hey, is everything okay?" Carver asked concerned as he pulled up to the garage. "What are you thinking about?"
"Me? O-Oh, nothing. It's really nothing. I just have a lot of thoughts in my head. Sometimes it takes a while for me to process all of them. Sorry for worrying you," I said as I stepped out of the car.
"You'd tell me if there's something wrong right?"
"Y-Yeah. It's really nothing. I promise," I said twiddling my fingers.
Carver and I walked inside and his grandparents must have been home because as soon as I closed the door to the front, I hear Aggie's voice echo, "Carver? Is that you?"
"Yeah, Fang's here too! We're just here to get my costume!" Carver yelled back.
Out of nowhere I see this quick moving shadow erupt from the living room, dressed as a witch with an all black cloak and a pointy black hat. She even had a long, crooked nose with a large mole at the end. Can't say I'm surprised at the way she's dressed. She's always a witch or a fortune teller or something that relates to the supernatural. She alternates every year.
"Did someone say costume?" she asked.
"Yeah, Fang's gonna help me with my costume."
"Oh, he's going to `help' you with your costume," she said with air quotes.
"Okay you're making this weird, I'm taking my boyfriend back to my room," Carver said dragging me over to his room.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait why did she use air quotes?"
As soon as we walked into his room, he shut the door to his room and loudly sighed.
"Your grandpa and I are going to head out now, Carver! You two have fun! Oh and be safe!"
"You're embarrassing me!" Carver yelled back. He walked towards me and and rest his head on mine. "Oh god, they're so embarrassing."
"They love you though. That's just how parents are."
Carver pulled away. Fuck I forgot about his parents. I'm such an idiot. "Right, parents."
"I-I'm sorry Carver. I-I-I meant that--"
"No, I got it. No worries. I guess they are, in a sense, my parents now."
He turned to his closet that was already open. He walked back out carrying a full body mannequin adorned with what resembled armor. It didn't look real, a little cartoonish to be honest. The material wasn't metal like actual armor but it looked like foam, maybe EVA foam, the type that cosplayers use.
"Are you a knight?" I asked.
"Bingo!" Carver said firing finger guns at me. "What do you think?
"Well--"
"Well what?"
"I think I would need to see you in it before I can tell you what I think about it."
"Your wish is my command," Carver winked as he pulled his shirt over his head and playfully tossed it into my face. I just stood there inhaling his scent, which was a mixture of sweat and the sweet woodsy notes of his cologne. My trance broke as I heard him shake his jeans off. Quickly I rearranged his shirt so that I could see through one of the arm holes, I looked down and Carver was standing in front of me with nothing but these black Calvin Klein briefs.
"What are you doing?" I squeaked.
"What? You act like you've never seen me in my underwear before."
"W-Well th-that's different. I usually just happen to catch you like that," I said covering my face with his shirt, placing my hands in front of my crotch, obviously trying to hide the stirring in my jeans.
"And? You obviously like what's in front of you," Carver said pulling the shirt off of me and placing his lips on mine.
As I started to melt into him, I could feel his hands tugging at the buttons of my jeans. It was happening all so fast. My jeans soon ended around my ankles and I could feel his hands tugging at the waistband of my black briefs.
"W-Wait, s-stop. Stop!" I yelled pushing myself away from him. I stepped back stepping over myself losing my balance, and fell back onto the bedroom floor. "Ow! My head." I groaned.
"Fang! Fuck are you okay?" Carver asked kneeling next to me and helping me up.
I sat up against his bed and rubbed the back of my head. "I-I'm sorry. I'm not ready to have sex yet. I-I'm sorry if I lead you on. Th-That I sent the wrong signals. I-If you want somebody else, I--"
"Hey, stop. I-I'm sorry. I do want to have sex with you but if you're not ready, I'm not going to force you. I don't want anyone else but you."
Carver and I sat next to each other on the floor for a while in silence. Part of his bare chest against my clothed back. His head rested on my shoulder, his right arm holding us together.
"Have you um--have you had sex already?" I asked breaking the silence.
"Y-Yeah I have," his voice cracked. "I-I wish I could take it back but I can't. I wish I could tell you everything but I--I can't. The scars are still there and I thought if I just had it with you, I could forget my first time ever happened. I'm sorry for forcing myself on you. I just want to forget."
"What was wrong with your first time? Was with someone you liked before but not anymore? Was it just not what you imagined it would be? I-I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions. I just figure people like having sex. It's a little weird the way you're talking about it."
Instead of answering me, he just sighed.
"I'm sorry for killing the mood. I--"
"Hey, you didn't kill anything," Carver said turning my face to meet his. He kissed me again but it felt different. I can't really explain it but somehow I could just feel this overwhelming pain coming from him. "My first time wasn't anything special. It wasn't what I wanted it to be. I wish--I wish I could tell you everything. Bear my heart and soul, but I'm scared. Scared of what you'll think of me, scared of reliving it, scared that if I talk about it, it'll find me somehow. I can't let it find me. I can't."
"Carver?" I pressed my forehead into his. His eyes were closed and his body began to tremble. "I-I don't know what happened to you in your past, but I--I'm always here for you. If you want to talk or if you don't want to talk, whatever you want. I'll be anything for you."
"I don't want you to be anything but who you are right now. Everything about you is perfect. I don't want you to change for me. Just promise you'll never hurt me."
"I promise."
--
I'm not sure how long I dozed off for but it had already started to get dark. Not sundown dark but in the process of it. It's like if someone started to dim the lights. I only woke up because my phone kept laughing. Somehow we both ended up in his bed as I woke up snuggled next to him. When I tried to reach down for my phone, I realized that my pants were no longer around my ankles but instead laying on the floor.
Once I started to move to get to my phone, Carver rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Where do you think you're going? Stay in bed with me," he said groggily.
"Someone's calling, I should get it."
"I got it. Just stay and look cute," Carver said stepping out from the covers.
When he squatted down to reach for my phone, I caught a quick glimpse of just how sculpted his muscles were. All of his efforts at the gym have definitely paid off.
"It's Lu. I'll just answer it," Carver said as his thumb slid across the screen. "Hey Lu, what's up? Uh huh. Do I sound sleepy? Fang and I dozed off for a little so we'll just meet you then. Alright, see ya later."
"What was that all about?"
"Seems like Lu dozed off too. She pushed the meet time to seven thirty."
"What time is it now?" I asked yawning. I sat up rubbing my eyes with my legs dangling off the side of the bed.
"You know, I've never seen you without your pants on. It's kinda nice," Carver said as he placed his large hands on my bare thighs. As he got closer to me, he pushed my legs apart and pulled me closer to him.
"U-Uh C-Carver wh-what are you doing?" I asked flushed.
"I know you said you're not ready for it yet but I was hoping that this would be okay," Carver said, his voice quieted down to almost a whisper. "Is it okay for me to be this close to you or do you want me to stop?"
"I-I um, I-I mean it's not bad but I-I um."
I couldn't think straight. I couldn't even look him dead in the eye. Everything was getting really hot. He definitely knows what he's doing. He was right. Being this close to him, the way we were was definitely a different experience. I could feel him growing on me, literally. And honestly, I was growing on him too.
"So you do like it," Carver whispered into my ear. The hotness of his breath sent chills up my spine.
"Okay! Well we should really get going," I burst out saying as I stumbled out of whatever it was that we were doing. I hid behind the mannequin with my back against it. "You put on your gear. I'm gonna get dressed over here."
I could hear Carver chuckle to himself as I put one of my legs into my jeans. With one leg in my jeans, I could see him walk back to his closet. When he came back out, he was wearing a black compression shirt and shorts. He has to be doing this on purpose. I could see his pecs and abs bulging out from his shirt.
"Like what you see?"
"I hate you right now. You're having way too much fun," I said as wiped the drool off the corner of my lips.
Carver then walked up to the mannequin and piece by piece slowly slid each piece onto himself. After about maybe five minutes, the pieces were all attached to him. He looked good. I'm happy to say that the whole knight schtick really works for him. Al really overdid himself this time, from the sheen of the rounded breastplate, the bloodied faux fur shoulder pieces, down to the dark faux leather greaves. Al's attention to detail really is something else.
"So what do you think?" Carver asked.
"You make a real convincing knight. You should go around town dressed like this more often."
"Well we're supposed to dress up as who we want to be right? I just wanted to be the thing you see me as."
"Carver, you see yourself as my knight. I never said I wanted you to be my knight."
"Well okay I guess I did say that but, this was the only thing I could think of at the time and--"
"It's fine. You look good. Really good. You're definitely gonna get a kick out of my costume. We kind of thought the same."
"What? Are you going to be a star?"
"Why would you think I'd be a star?"
"You like stars so I figured you'd be a star."
"And how would I dress up like a star?"
"I don't know. I was thinking you could be in this huge mascot like costume and you would have to waddle around because you wouldn't be able to bend your knees. Now I really want that to be true. Please tell me you're the star of my dreams."
"Not only am I not a star, that thought will never leave this room. If you give Al that idea, I know he's going to force me to wear it and I'm not waddling anywhere. Let's go, I still have to get my costume."
"Wait, I almost forgot," Carver said as he walked into his closet. He came back out with a foam broadsword and kite shield. The shield had, you guessed it, a bright yellow star emblem in the center. "I can't protect you without my sword and shield."
"You're really playing the part tonight aren't you? How about a helmet? Is there a helmet in there too?"
"I-I do," Carver said as he walked back into the closet and back out with the helmet at his side. "But I don't want to wear it."
"Why not?"
"I haven't gotten my haircut yet and I can't see out of it cause of my hair."
"Well, if we just push your hair back it should be fine. I don't want my knight to get hurt protecting me," I said as i pushed his hair back and fit the helmet onto his head. "There, now that is one hot knight. Oh and don't cut your hair just yet, I like it a little longer. It looks nice on you. I think I have a thing for a man in uniform."
"Oh really? Maybe we should do something about that," Carver said as he placed his gauntlets on my waist.
"We really need to get going. Remember? We have to meet Lulu soon."
"Maybe we can just stay in?"
"Oh now you want to stay in? I take back my comment. Let's go!" I said walking out of his room.
"H-Hey wait for me!"
I could hear Carver chasing after me but I didn't stop until I got back to the car. I had that weird feeling again like someone was watching me. I happened to glance at my reflection in the station wagon's side mirror and I could also see a dark figure standing behind me. Reluctantly, I turned back and I saw this old face that I haven't seen in months. He was an older gentleman with a pale face, dressed in a disheveled ill-fitting suit. The expression on his face, he looked so sad, so remorseful.
"Dad?"
"What part of wait for me don't you understand?" Carver asked as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Oh my god!" I shrieked. I turn around and smack him in the arm. "Don't do that!"
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost?"
"Me? No, um Carver this is--" I turn around but my dad was gone. Was it all in my head?
"This is who? Who are you talking to?"
"Um no one. I-I must be imagining things. Let's go," I said as I hopped into the passenger seat.
"Are you sure everything's okay?" Carver asked again as he buckled in.
"Y-Yeah everything's fine. I should probably stave off watching ghost movies for a while. They're starting to get to me."
As Carver drove off, I slowly turned to the side mirror. I saw nothing but the garage this time. Why would my mind go there? I haven't seen my dad since I came out last year. My parents ended up moving out of Haven not too long after I came out. Last I heard they were in Azure Heights; it's about a three hour drive out of Haven. I hope they're doing okay. I hope that was just my imagination playing tricks on me.
The drive back home was a little strange. We kept getting strange looks from people. I guess they've never seen a knight drive a station wagon before. I don't think it helped that he waved to everyone who gawked at him, he even brought back that terrible British accent. He's like a puppy; he has to stop to say hi to everyone. I mean he was having fun so I didn't stop him. We eventually got to my house but it took about twenty minutes extra when realistically it's a ten minute drive. When I stepped out of the car, I noticed that Carver wasn't walking behind me so I walked back to the car.
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
"So here's the thing, I can't seem to get out."
"What do you mean you can't get out?"
"The seatbelt got caught somewhere and I can't tell where. Can you help me?"
"Oh so the all mighty knight needs the prince's help?"
"Fang, I really need to pee. Can't you just get me out of here?"
"Okay okay, jeez you're no fun," I said as I opened the driver side door. Leaning over I tried to jerk the belt but it was stuck between the plates. "Oh so you're really stuck. I thought you were kidding."
"I don't kid about having to pee," Carver said irritated and quickly tapping his foot. "Maybe we should just rip the suit apart?"
"What? No way! I'm not ruining Al's work. Maybe if I can just get a closer look, we won't have to do that," I said kneeling next to him. "Okay so it looks like it's just stuck between these two plates, should be an easy fix."
"I don't see anything! But I do applaud your nerve to do this out in the open," Aunt Jackie's voice echoed from atop the stairs.
I quickly shot up slamming the back of my head against the door frame and then falling back hitting the pavement hard on my ass.
"Ow! Not my head again!," I said rubbing the back of my head. "And i-it's not what it looks like!"
"Uh huh, sure. And just what were you doing with your head in his lap then?" she asked, her arms crossed against her chest.
"I was getting the seatbelt unstuck from his costume! Do you really think I'm the type of guy to do that?" I countered.
Suddenly Carver jumped out from the car. Guess he got it off by himself. Before I could even get a word out to him, he zoomed past me and then past my aunt.
"What the hell was that?" my aunt asked.
"Carver really had to pee."
"Seriously?"
"Honest," I said as I slowly picked myself up and dusted off my jeans.
"So are you two here for movie night or have your plans changed like they always do?"
"They don't always change," I said as I started walking up the stairs. "But we're supposed to meet Lulu in a bit. We're just here to get my costume."
"Maybe you should check up on him. Make sure he actually made it to the bathroom."
"Right, I should go do that."
I walked inside and walked towards the bathroom. "Hey is everything okay in there?" I asked knocking on the door.
"Yeah, all good!"
I walked back to my room and saw my costume laid out on my bed. I guess I could get dressed while he's doing his thing. Thankfully my costume wasn't as complicated as his was. It was just a baby blue pointed hat, a long baby blue gown, a short white wig with a matching white beard that went down to the length of the gown, a pair of wire framed glasses, a pair of blue knockoff Toms, and a wand which was basically a branch Al had shaved off.
Pulling off my shirt and my pants, I slipped into the gown, affixed the wig over my hair, and looped the straps of the beard around my ears. As soon as I placed the hat over the wig and slid the glasses onto my ears, Carver opened the door with an exaggerated sigh.
"Whoa who are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Merlin from Sword in the Stone," I said as I twirled in place.
"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."
"I'm the wizard that helps Arthur become King of all England, King Arthur!"
"Oh right, the old guy with the magic."
"If you weren't so hot, I would turn you into a frog. But since I don't have any magic I'll just hit you," I said as I whacked him with my wand on his helmet. "Be happy I forced you to wear the helmet. That would have hurt."
"It still hurt. The helmet is just for show, it's not an actual helmet."
"Oh! Sorry about that. Well let's get going, we have to go meet Lulu."
"Actually I'm right here," Lulu said as poked her head into the doorway.
"Lu when did you get here?" Carver asked.
"Oh I just got here. I'll leave you two to your business," Lulu said as she shut the door behind her.
"Hey can you hold my phone? I don't have any pockets in this gown. Wait you probably don't have any pockets either."
"There's a pouch behind the shield. I can hold it for you. Hand it over," Carver said with his hand outreached.
"Thanks," I said as I handed him my phone.
Carver and I walked out of my room and met up with Lulu outside. She was dressed as Gogo from Kill Bill, school girl uniform and the iconic chain mace. She even had bloody tears streaming down her face. Tonight she wore a straight black wig that just barely sat at her shoulders. I swear, she changes her hairstyles more than anyone I've ever known.
Carver walked past both of us and grabbed his sword and shield of the car. I noticed him slide the sword in the back of the shield. I guess there was a holster in the back. Pretty cool. He walked back to me and nudged me to show the pouch behind the shield. He placed both of our phones in the pouch and zipped it up. He then slid the shield into his left arm. Well I guess I don't have to worry about him getting tired of carrying that, I know I would have.
"Really? You're Gogo?" I asked. "And I thought you wanted us to meet at the restaurant? Also you're early, really early."
"What? You know she's my favorite! I had to be her tonight," Lulu said as she too twirled in place. "Dante dropped me off."
"Oh okay. I mean it's not really different from what you usually wear."
"Watch it Merlin or you'll get a mace to the face."
"Who's Gogo? I thought you were just you but with a mace," Carver chimed in.
"She's from Kill Bill," Lulu said.
"Oh I only know of Kill Bill, you know the one with the yellow tracksuit."
"I think you're thinking of the Bride. Uma doesn't play Kill Bill. Wait you've never seen Kill Bill?" Lulu asked.
"Carver didn't even know who I was," I added.
"Okay well we're going to have a movie night. Just not tonight. Start the car Carver."
"Uh I was actually hoping we could walk there," Carver said. "I got stuck in the car already and I don't want to get stuck again."
"Ugh really? Fine." Lulu whined.
"I can drop you guys off. I'm not really doing anything tonight," Aunt Jackie chimed in. "Unless you count Tinder."
"Oh thank god! I didn't want to walk."
"Okay, everyone hop in!" my aunt said as she hopped into her car.
"Have fun!" My aunt yelled as she drove off.
It's seven o'clock; the sun's down by now. As Carver, Lulu, and I walked up to the haunted house we noticed that it was pretty deserted. Something's off, it should be packed tonight. When we walked to the ticket booth, there was a sign that said that the attraction was closed due to some unforeseen clean up. What the hell does that mean?
"Well there goes that idea," I said. "Guess we can always walk back to the house and watch some movies."
"What? No, I've got a backup plan," Lulu said as she started to look through her phone. "Dante said there was a party not too far from here. We can walk there."
"We're already at the outskirts of town though. Where could this party be?" Carver asked. "Weren't you the one who said they didn't want to walk tonight?"
"Well I don't want to say because then Fang will probably not want to go," Lulu trailed off. "And I'll walk to a party. That's my only exception to the rule."
"What does this have to do with me?"
"It's by the old Haven hou--"
"Nope, we're not going there. Hell no! I'm putting my foot down!"
"What's the old Haven house?" Carver asked.
"Lulu don't!"
"Ninety years ago there was a really rich family who lived on the outskirts of Haven. The town was actually renamed after this family, I think our town name used to be Elm or something related to trees. Anyway everyone loved the Havens, they were known for their kindness and hospitality. And then one night the youngest daughter of the Haven's died out of the blue. She died in her sleep or something. Her father, Zachariah, lost it. He went on a murderous rampage in town killing everyone who ever had contact with his daughter. The town eventually drove him back to his house and they lit his house on fire with him and the rest of his family still in it. Everyone who's ever tried to live in that house has either committed suicide or mysteriously disappeared."
"You don't want to go in that area because of some lame town ghost story?" Carver laughed.
"It's not just that," I mumbled.
"When we were kids, Dante took me, Fang, and Chloe to the house. Some sort of stupid rite every kid goes through. We were only supposed to knock on the door to prove that we weren't chicken but Dante said that if we could spend one hour in the house at night then we'd really be brave. I went first, then Chloe, then Fang went last. Chloe and I survived the hour but Fang, he--"
"Okay let's not talk about it. I really don't want to think about it ever again."
"Come on, it can't be that bad. So you got spooked, it wouldn't surprise me based on how you are now," Carver said.
"Fine, do you really wanna know?" I asked as I bit the inside of my bottom lip.
"Yeah, it can't be that bad. I mean it was probably just your mind playing a trick on you."
"Fine, I'll tell you what happened. When my hour was up, I tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge. I kept screaming Let me out!' over and over and we couldn't get the door open. I could hear Dante on the other side of the door trying to calm me down. I could see him trying to bust the door down but it still wouldn't budge. Then I could hear something move upstairs. The house creaked as if someone was walking down the stairs. When I turned around I could see this hulking shadowy figure coming down. I froze. I couldn't move. As the figure got closer to me, I could hear it cry out Margaret, my sweet Margaret!' I must have fainted because when I came to, I was outside the house with Dante freaking out."
"You saw a ghost?"
"I saw Zachariah and he thought I was his dead daughter. I wet the bed every night for three years after that day. I would have nightmares of that night and sometimes I would see him outside of my dreams. I would hallucinate during class. You have no idea how long it took me to finally get better. I refuse to go back there."
"Well, it's just in the area. The party isn't actually at that house. We just have to walk past it. We could run past it and not even look at that house."
"Lulu, I really don't want to go back there. That place traumatized me as a kid. What if I see him again?"
"Well then I guess your trusted knight will just have to shield you from him," Carver said.
"Hey don't forget me! I'll whack that dead guy back to death," Lulu added.
"You guys are so fucking weird," I replied back. "But I guess if I have you two with me, I'll be fine."
"That's the spirit!" Lulu said as she slung her left arm around my shoulders. "And now we march!"
We walked non-stop for about twenty minutes and my feet were numb. These "shoes" had literally no support and were so thin that I could feel every step on this gravel road. I knew I should have just worn my boots but no I had to be adamant on character accuracy. Carver and Lulu looked completely fine though. I hate that I'm the only one miserable and I didn't want to be that person that just complained but god if we didn't get to the party soon, I know I'm gonna collapse.
The road we were taking wasn't well lit and I kept hearing rustling in the woods nearby. It has to be animals but my mind just kept thinking that we were being watched. I tried my best not to be obvious, but I kept looking back as if I could even spot someone in the thickness of this darkness. You'd think someone like me would thrive in this environment. I may not be afraid of the dark but I was definitely afraid of what was lurking in it.
"Are we almost there?" I whined. "I don't remember the Haven house being this far."
"Now that you mention it, we should have passed by it by now," Lulu said as she pulled out her phone. She looked at her phone for a second then her eyes widened. "So you're gonna hate me."
"What? Why?"
"My phone's dead," Lulu replied, her teeth clenched with her lips pulled back.
"Are you serious?" I yelled. "So we're lost?"
"Looks like it. But then again, we might just be really close."
"If we were close to the party wouldn't we hear something by now?" I asked freaking out. "We're gonna die. We're gonna die and I'm in a dress with a scratchy ass beard."
"Everyone just calm down. This road has to lead somewhere. Plus we have our phones too, babe," Carver said as he pulled out his phone. "My phone has some juice left. Lu can you check if we're close?"
"Oh my god, you're a lifesaver!" Lulu said as she took his phone. She tapped against the screen a few times and sighed. "There's no signal here. I'm gonna go walk ahead."
"See everything's gonna be fine," he reassured me. "You just need to breathe."
"Okay okay I'll breathe," I said as I rested my head on his chest.
"By the way, is something on your mind?"
"Hm?"
"I noticed you kept looking back. Is everything okay?"
"I-It's nothing. I--I just feel like I'm being watched."
"Why? Did you see something?"
"No--w-well actually I think I saw my dad earlier."
"Your dad?" Carver asked with one eyebrow raised. "When?"
"Um when we got to the car, when we were heading out to go back to my house. I could have sworn he was standing behind me but when you caught up to me, he was gone. I just have this sinking feeling that something bad happened."
"I'm sure he's fine. But no more ghost movies okay? It's not good for you."
"Y-You're probably right."
"Hey guys, Haven house is just up ahead!" Lulu yelled from beyond the darkness.
"We should catch up to her. You okay to walk?" Carver asked.
"Yeah I should be good for a little bit more," I sighed.
Carver and I walked up to where we thought we heard Lulu but all we found was Carver's phone on the ground.
"Lu!"
"Lulu!"
Nothing, just the sound of crickets.
"Maybe she went ahead?" Carver suggested.
"Lulu would have waited for us. Why would she just leave your phone on the ground? Something's up."
"Not this again. Fang you need to get out of your head."
Right after he said that, the sound of broken branches echoed from within the woods. "Is someone there? Lu is that you?" Carver asked looking straight into the woods. "She must be up ahead. Let's go."
"What? No! Have you not seen a single horror movie? This shit is straight out of one. I'm not leaving this spot!"
"Life's not a horror movie. Even if we happen to be in one, which we aren't, you have me. I won't let anyone hurt you. Now let's go," Carver said as he pulled me across the gravel road.
"Oh fuck, my shoe!" I said as one of my shoes slipped off. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and turned back. "One sec, I have to put my shoe back on."
Once I slipped my shoe back on, spitting expletive after expletive, I turned back and found that I was alone in the dark.
"Carver! Lulu!" I yelled into the woods. "Guys this isn't funny anymore! You know ha ha you got me, now come out!"
I waited and then I waited some more and nothing. It was just me and the darkness. I could feel my heart start to beat out of my chest. Suddenly a dark, shadowy figure emerged from the woods.
"C-Carver? I-Is that you?" I asked choking back tears. I waited as the shadowy figure walked closer to me. It wasn't Carver, too short and bulky. Whoever it was, was wearing a bloody clown mask, a Haven high letterman jacket, and was dragging a spiked baseball bat. "Oh fucking fuck!"
As I turn back around, another clown appeared behind me in the exact same getup but taller and slimmer. In the back of my mind, I could hear Carver telling me to calm down, that it's all in my head but Lulu would tell me to run so that's what I did. I turned back to the road and bolted. I could see a run down house not too far ahead. Anywhere was better than being with those clowns. So I pushed myself harder and once I reached the door to the house, I slammed it behind me clutching my wand against my chest.
"Okay just breathe. Breathe," I kept saying to myself. About thirty seconds later my breathing had steadied. With my ear to the door, I tried to listen for those clowns. I heard nothing but my own heartbeat.
I stood up and let out a sigh of relief. What the fuck kind of day is this? First I imagine seeing my dad then a couple of clowns appear out of nowhere. This all could have been avoided had I just had sex with Carver. Oh fuck. Carver and Lulu, where were they? Did they become victims to those clowns? Fuck I just left them there. The clowns should be gone by now unless I imagined them too. Shit. I turned back to the door to go back and look for them, but as I try the door it wouldn't budge. After pulling on the door knob a few times, I resorted to slamming my body against the door. Still nothing. Suddenly it hit me. This has happened to me before.
"Oh no! No no no no no!" I cried. I was in Haven house. The place of my childhood nightmares. Panicking, I tried to open the door again. As I kept trying to frantically open the door, I heard the floor creak in the room right next to me. Raising my wand above my head, I waited as my breath became shaky once more. A petite shadow figure tentatively crept towards me. My grip shaky, I swung my wand forward.
"Wait stop! Fang it's me!" Lulu said as walked forward with her mace held close to her face.
"Fuck Lulu!" I said as I ran up and held her tight. "How'd you get here?"
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."
"Try me."
"Well after I yelled at you guys, a couple of clowns grabbed me and tossed me in here. I've been trying to find my way out but I can't see anything in the dark."
"Oh great the clowns are real!"
"You saw them too? Wait where's Carver?"
"We got separated trying to find you a-and then these clowns came out of the woods. I freaked out and ran in here of all places!"
"Wait where are we?"
"It's the fucking Haven house!"
"No! Fuck this, I'm out. I've said it once and I'll say it again, I don't need no spirits attaching themselves to me," Lulu said as she walked towards the door.
"Good luck trying to open it. It's just like when we were kids."
"Fuck! Well there has to be another way out of here. Maybe a back door. Where's your phone? We need a light."
"Carver has my phone."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lulu yelled.
"Wait! My necklace!"
"What about it?"
Slipping my hand down the neck of my gown, I pulled out the star pendant Carver gave me not too long ago. I always wear it now. It helps me to remember that I'm not alone.
"There's a light," I said as I flicked the switch. The star dimly lit up covering my chest in a warm glow. "I know it's not much but anything's better than nothing right?"
"I mean it would be nice if it were just a little bit brighter, but hold my hand, I don't want us to get separated again."
I grabbed her right hand with my left, our weapons in our opposite hands, and we slowly traversed the lower level of the Haven house together. I don't remember ever exploring this place. I just remember sitting by the door waiting for my time to be up and then well you know the rest. I'm surprised this house hasn't crumbled yet. It's so old, there were so many cracks in the foundation, cobwebs across doorway, and with each step the house roared from beneath us. We followed what little light that peaked through the boarded windows. As we continued towards the backend of the house, I happened to look into a cracked mirror hung up on a wall nearest me. I immediately jumped back, scaring both me and Lulu.
"What?" Lulu asked as she swung the mace over her. "N-Nothing. I overreacted. I jumped at my own reflection."
"Fang!" Lulu whined punching me in my right left shoulder.
"Sorry! You know I hate this place! And with what's happened today, can you blame me?" I asked rubbing my shoulder.
"Just keep your eyes forward and look for a way out of here."
"Okay okay fine. As soon as we get out of here, I'm heading back to the woods to look for Carver."
"Knowing him, he'll be fine. He's probably kicking himself for losing you already."
"Well this wouldn't have happened had we just had movie night. We would have been safe at home. None of this bullshit would have ever happened," I argued.
"Well excuse me if I wanted to have a little fun on Halloween. I didn't think we'd get terrorized by some fucking clowns," Lulu argued back.
As Lulu and I continued to argue placing the blame on each other, the floor started to creak right ahead of us immediately halting our argument. We both gulped and slowly turned our heads in the direction of the creaking. We watched as a dark, shadowy figure inched closer to us. Lulu looked at me and jerked her head towards the shadow. I responded back by vehemently shaking my head side to side. Her eyes widened as her lips scrunched together and she stomped in place. I rolled my eyes, sighed, and readied my wand. Don't you just love it when you can communicate with someone without saying anything? I did not appreciate it in this current situation.
I looked at Lulu as she counted down with her right hand. 3, 2, 1. In unison we rushed the shadowy figure and started hitting it with our weapons while screaming.
"Stop! Hey, I said stop! It's me! Carver!"
Lulu and I immediately stopped to find Carver on his knees covering himself with his shield.
"Carver!" I yelled falling to my knees and holding him.
"Oh now you're happy to see me."
"Sorry, we thought you were old man Zachariah," Lulu shrugged.
"Really? How many times do I have to tell you guys that ghosts aren't real."
"You didn't participate in the rite, you don't know for sure."
Carver rolled his eyes then turned back to me. "What happened to you? One second you were behind me and then the next you weren't."
"My shoe slipped off and when I turned back to you, you were gone. A-And then these clowns appeared out of nowhere. I freaked out and ran here. Wait how'd you find us?"
"Well I found the clowns too. Right when I walked into the woods, I saw one of them and hid behind some bushes. That's when I noticed you weren't behind me. So I waited for him to pass me so I could look for you. When I went back to where I last saw you, you weren't there. I then followed the road down to the house and I saw those clowns standing by the front so I went out back thinking maybe they dragged you in here and well you know the rest."
"Wait you said those clowns are out front?" Lulu asked.
"Yeah, they actually looked like they were patrolling the area. I thought it was weird."
"Give me your phone," Lulu said with her hand outreached. "I'm calling Dante. I'm tired of this shit."
Carver handed Lulu his phone and Lulu immediately dialed for Dante.
"Hey Dante, it's me Lulu. What? Oh I'm using Carver's phone, mine's dead but that's not the point. Can you pick us up at the Haven house? There are a bunch of clowns out front and we're tired. Yes I said clowns, what are you deaf? Okay, we'll see you soon," Lulu said as she hung up. "Dante's on the way. He said he'll take care of it."
"What? How?" I asked.
"He knows them," she said angrily. "Let's go wait for him out front."
Lulu left as she stomped out the back door.
"I guess you were right when you mentioned you were being watched. I should have listened."
"Well I definitely think that we were being followed by clowns of all things."
"I-Is that my necklace? You're wearing the necklace I gave you," Carver said.
"Of course I'm wearing it Carver. I always wear it. It makes me feel safe. I just had to remind myself that I was wearing it."
Carver smiled then placed his lips on mine. "Oh god, I'm not used to kissing you with hair on your face. I definitely just swallowed some it," Carver said as he pulled strands of the beard hair off of his tongue.
"I'm an old man, what can I say?"
"How about you take this off so I can give you a real kiss?" he said tugging at my beard.
"You can kiss me anytime. I'm keeping the beard on. I'm old Merlin, not young Merlin."
"Okay fine, you win."
Carver grabbed my beard and lead me out. When we reached the front, the clowns turned to us and started laughing hysterically. Just as Lulu started power walking towards them, a janky red pickup truck sped out through the darkness and abruptly stopped in front of the house. The door swung open and Dante walked out in a bloodied up football uniform. There was a single large claw mark in the front of his uniform. I could tell he had those Marilyn Manson white out contact lenses in too, that highlighted his freshly bleached fade. He looked like the jock version of The Lost Boys.
In a huff, he stomped towards the two clowns, spit out his fake fangs into his hands, and then tore off their masks.
"Are you two fucking kidding me?" he yelled nearly biting their heads off. "What did I tell you about wearing these masks at night? I told you two to look out for my cousin in a school girl uniform and to bring her and her friends to the party. Not to terrorize them. What is wrong with you two?"
"What? We didn't mean anything by it. Come on, it was funny!" one of the clowns said.
"Do they look like they had fun?" He barked back pointing at us.
"W-Well n-no, b-but--"
"Leave us, now," Dante said firmly.
"B-But it's dark a-and it's cold now," the other clown said.
"Well you should have thought about that before you guys acted like assholes to my family. You two can walk your asses back to the party. Move!"
The two clowns sprinted down the road escaping Dante's wrath.
"I'm sorry about that guys. They were supposed to meet you guys and bring you back to the party. I had no idea they were gonna pull that stupid stunt. Are you three okay?" Dante apologized.
"I can't believe you're even friends with those assholes!" Lulu fumed. "They fucking grabbed me from behind! I thought I was gonna die, Dante."
"They're not my friends. Just some other guys on the team. I'll take care of them. They should know better," he sighed. "How about you two? Are you good?"
"Besides living my own personal hell, yeah I'm good. I might pee myself later though," I said sarcastically.
"How bout you man?"
"Yeah I'm good. I'm just happy we're all okay," Carver said then turned to me. "Especially this one. I freaked out when I couldn't find him, but everything's fine now."
"Good then let's get out of here. I don't want to be near this house any longer than I have to," Dante said as he walked back to his truck with the rest of us following close behind.
"Shotgun!" Lulu yelled as she raced to the front seat.
"You two have to sit in the trunk," Dante said pointing at me and Carver.
"I don't mind," Carver said jumping into the back. He turned and winked. "Come on babe, hop in!"
"You sure there's no way I can sit up front?" I asked Dante.
"Don't be a prude, Fang. Enjoy the ride with your man out back," Lulu giggled.
"I-Is this really safe?" I asked as I stepped up on one of the rear tires.
Carver placed his hands on mine and said "I got ya." We sat with our backs against against the back window as he wrapped his left arm around my waist. "And if it's not? I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you, you know that."
I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. Dante whipped the truck back around and drove towards the party. The ride was pretty bumpy and it didn't help that the drag kept pulling at my hat and wig. I tried my best to keep them both on me but the drag was too strong and it snatched them both right off of my head.
"No!" I yelled as I watched them flutter back into the darkness. "Great, just great."
Carver smiled and then pulled his helmet off of his head and secured it on me. Since its fitted for him, it didn't really fit me causing it to rock side to side throughout the ride. I didn't care though. I was just happy that he cared so much about me. Any inconvenience, he always knew how to react. Smiling from ear to ear, I wrapped my arms around his waist and curled up closer to him.
As Dante continued to drive, I could hear the faint sound of music up ahead. As the music grew louder, the darkness dissipated. Eventually, Dante came to a stop. It seems like we've arrived.
"I'll meet you guys out there!" Dante yelled as he rushed back to the party. I was expecting another house party but it was just out in the open next to a barn. I never knew there was a barn out here. Why am I getting Footloose vibes right now?
"You two look pretty chummy," Lulu said as she hung onto the side of the truck. "Let's go have some fun! After everything we've been through, it can only get better from here."
"Don't jinx it," I said standing up on the bed of the truck. I turn towards the party and noticed the large crowd of people. "How many people did Dante invite? It looks like the whole town is here!"
"It's probably kids from other schools. You know how Dante is. He gets around."
"Oh come on, it can't be that bad," Carver said as he too stood up. When he turned around, his jaw dropped. "Damn! How many people does he know?"
"Guys, you're losing the point. Sure there's a lot of people here, but I mean it's a party. We're here to have fun!"
"I guess you're right," I groaned. Carver hopped off the side of the truck and held his hands out to help make sure I didn't fall on my face. I don't think I'm that clumsy but then again it's me, not gonna take any chances.
The three of us then walked towards the barn together. All of a sudden we hear a loud, annoyed groan. As we continued to walk towards the barn, the groan got even louder and exaggerated. We stop and it's Chloe standing right in front of us. She was dressed in a red one piece swimsuit while standing in a pink flamingo pool tube.
"What the fuck are you guys doing here?" she asked clearly annoyed. "I don't remember inviting any of you."
"Last time I checked, it's not your party. Just leave us alone," Lulu said.
"Mmm no, sorry I don't have to listen to you anymore. So we have a knight, a school girl and--what are you supposed to be?" she asked looking at me.
I rolled my eyes and said, "I'm Merlin."
"Merlin? Wouldn't a better costume be pill bottle? I mean we're all dressed as what we want to be. So why don't you repeat yourself and swallow a bunch of pills?"
In a flash, Lulu punched Chloe square in the jaw knocking her out cold on the ground.
"Talk shit, get hit," Lulu said as she spat on Chloe's face. Chloe turned to me and asked, "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I-I'm fine," I lied as my eyes started to water. "Nope, never mind. I-I can't. Excuse me."
I hurriedly rushed back in the direction of the truck as tears started streaming down my face. I ripped my beard off and tossed it away as I wiped the tears off of my face with right arm. Right as I reached the back of the truck, Carver caught up to me and grabbed my left arm.
"Hey hey hey, what's wrong?"
"I-It's nothing," I cried.
"If it's nothing then why are you crying? Talk to me."
"You're gonna hate me," I said looking at the ground sniffling.
"Hey," Carver said as he tenderly cupped my face. "You know I could never hate you. You know me. You can tell me anything without judgment."
"Can we sit?"
"Of course," Carver said as he opened up the trunk door and lifted me up onto it. I waited for him to join me and when he did, I led him back to the spot we sat in earlier except this time we sat across from each other face to face. "So...what did she mean back there?"
"It's a lot. I don't want you to hate me."
"Like I said, I could never."
I pulled all the spit in my mouth and gulped. "Remember when we first met? How I told you that my parents basically tossed me out for being gay?"
"Yeah I remember."
"Well about a month after that happened, I faked being sick around fourth period. I was sent down to the nurse's office and when she wasn't looking, I grabbed a bottle of painkillers off of her desk," I paused and looked at him. He looked genuinely concerned for me. I watched as his right hand crept towards mine. He held my left hand in his and just squeezed. "Once she okayed me back to class, I swallowed a handful of pills. I--I just felt so alone. Like I wasn't wanted anymore. Even though I had my aunt and Lulu, I just couldn't get over the fact that my parents stopped loving me. All because of who I am." I paused again as I felt my body start to shake. I couldn't look at him again so I placed my face in right palm as I loudly cried. "A-All I want is for my parents to be proud of me, to love me, to accept me. A-And with them gone, I wanted to be gone too because I wasn't worth it. I wasn't worth keeping. I don't remember what happened next. When I came to, I was in a hospital bed. Apparently, Lulu found me and I was rushed to the hospital. They pumped my stomach. That's when my aunt stepped in and took me out of school. I was on suicide watch for a couple of months. I went to therapy while my aunt homeschooled me."
"F-Fang, I-I--"
"I know what I did was selfish and th-that it was wrong. I-I just felt so alone. I'm happy that Lulu was there to save me. I'm happy that I have people in my life who care about me when I don't care about myself. I owe my life to those two. I'm sorry. I-If you want someone who's past isn't a mess then--"
"Don't ever say that. None of this is your fault."
I looked up and found Carver choking on his tears. I made him cry. Oh fuck I made him cry. He then shakily stood up, sat next to me, and just held me. It only made me cry even more.
"I was so lost. I was trying to build myself back up from nothing. And then you came into my life and--and you just built me back up piece by piece without even knowing it. I'm so grateful to have met you, Carver. You showed me what it's really like to be loved. I-I know that's a lot. You wanted to know and I--"
"I'm happy you told me. I know I say this a lot but I want you to know that really I love you. I can't imagine what you must have felt during that time, what you were going through, but I can't imagine my life without you either. I'm happiest when I'm with you."
"Promise me--promise me that you'll never leave me."
"I promise."