TEN
Breakfast was in the kitchen/dining room that was common to both the house and the cottage and provided an indoor way to go from one residence to the other. Danny has to unlock the door. He told me that he always keeps that door locked so he doesn't get any surprise visitors. He's mainly concerned about his little brother walking in on something he isn't old enough to see.
So anyway, both of us walk over in in our underwear. Mamma is already dressed nicely for church. Mr. is in suit pants and a t-shirt. Nice build. He and Danny are so much alike physically. As far as personality, Danny is much more laid back, and warm, and even affectionate. Of course I should add in that he was well on his way to becoming a very accomplished Dom, respected by many as it will turn out in the future. We'll just stay here in the middle of my first weekend at the O'Donovan homestead.
There's a big simmering pot of oatmeal on the stove, dry cereal, juice and milk. Danny takes corn flakes and hands me a bowl. "Is the oatmeal ready?" I ask him and he nods. That's what I get.
"You are a church-goer, I take it," says Mr. "Yes, Sir" is all that's needed and expected. "9 am Mass every Sunday in this family. I'm pleased it's something you can appreciate." Danny rescues me, God bless him, and talks about the new associate Pastor. He wonders what people are saying about him.
"Affable, so say they say. Reasonably good preaching. Kind in the confessional, good singer," says Dad. It seems that he really has his fingers on the pulse of things.
Speaking of church, I find myself wondering if we have to mention what we're doing in confession. If so, I don't think I'll want to go any more. Most of my classmates had already stopped going because they got tired of being yelled at for jerking off. I haven't stopped yet. That's probably more than you really care about knowing, so I'll move on.
Mamma brightens up my mood instantly. "You look very happy, dear," she says. "Having a good time? Danny is treating you right?"
"The best," I tell her and, of course, I really mean it. Besides, no one has ever even tried to treat me in any way. I'm just "the nice guy who turned out to be a fag," my friend Lucas told me, so that's good. Noone from our class has ever come on to me so maybe I was the only one, but I don't think so. I'm sure there are others as well, including Lucas. We stay pretty much on the down low, at least back home.
I don't even know for sure if the guys I met last night are gay. Danny never said anything, and, like I said, only one of them was really interested in looking my bare groin over. Larry, I think his name is. Well whatever, I guess they all seem pretty cool.
"Take your own car, Daniel," says Daddy, "we'll save seats for you. Don't dawdle and arrive late."
"Sure thing, Daddy," says Danny after kissing his mother good morning. We put our dishes in the sink go go back to get dressed. "Did you put on clean briefs this morning like I told you to?" he asks. "If not, put clean ones on now and throw the others in the laundry." "Yes, Sir," I say.
He reaches out to tickle me but I get away quick, but I have to bend down to get a fresh pair out of the package, so that leaves Danny a perfect target. . . . . nope. He doesn't take the bait.
"Come on, boy. If I have to dress you myself there will be hell to pay later," he threatens me in a tone of voice that I'm beginning to identify as "the Master" so I know he really means it.
"Should I wear a t-shirt under the dress shirt? I never got dressed this fancy before," I tell him.
"No, he says. "I want to see the shirt right against your nipples." Huh? He actually gets horny from looking at me? Damn stupid question, I say to myself. I can't seem to get it through my head that he really does have a thing for me. I don't know if it's love or not. All I know is that it's damn hot, whatever it is. I'll have to keep that in mind when I talk to God in church and say thank you. For Danny. For all of this.
I need him to tie my tie but instead he unties his and stands alongside me. "Watch me. Do exactly what I do." and I do so and wow, it works. I tie my own tie. But not tight enough because Danny comes over and makes it tighter and I feel like I'm being choked. Then he backs it off a bit and it's better. "See? I can even control your breath if I want," he says to me.
"You're making me get hard," I tell him.
"Think of our senior English teacher naked. That will scare it down." Now I'm giggling. Danny joins in. We need to giggle to break the tension at breakfast. I can't believe I was walking around in my underwear in front of an elderly wealthy couple I just met. The fact that Danny was undressed the same way didn't make it any less awkward for me. But apparently, there's gonna be a lot of awkward in my future. I wonder what it will be like at work.
On the way to the church I can't resist asking: "Do you think we have to confess it?"
"Confess what?" he asks, as if he didn't know.
"What we're doing" is all I say. He doesn't answer.
"I see it this way, Gavin. You're doing a lot of good things for me to make me happy, and I'm doing the same for you, the way that makes you happy. So how can that be wrong? I don't care what the fuck the priests tell us. God said to love, right?"
I wish I could see it that way as easily as he does. I mean, I want to, but I've been taught to feel guilty about almost anything. So okay. "You promised to protect me, Danny."
"Yes. So? What's that about?"
"Well, since you are protecting me, I'll try to accept your way of looking at things."
"Listen, Gavin. I'm no expert and you know that. All I know is that any other way of looking at things is going to end up making you sad. I don't want you to be sad."
"Okay, Danny." Oh please, oh please, oh please . . . Before we get out of the car he puts a hand on my leg. "Look at me, boy." I do.
"You're going back home tonight. Wednesday you'll be picked up to come back. I'll be in the car. If you tell me that you're still too guilty, then everything will stop. All of it. And you'll just be someone who works with Donny and me. I'm not kidding, Gavin. You make your choice and I'll go along with it."
With that he pats me on the leg again and gets out of the car. He walks us in by the side door of the church and, as if I'm surprised, the parents and brothers are all looking crisp in the first pew we get to. Daddy has us each sit on opposite sides of Donny, so it's Daddy, Mamma, Danny, Donny, me and Andrew who looks positively adorable in his light blue suit.
I get to glance at everyone else in the church and they all look pretty good. A few ratty folk in the back, but it's clear that this is a very well-to-do congregation. Not the type of place I'm used to.
The only other thing I want to tell you about it is what the young priest said in his sermon, which I think was pretty good compared to most. He said that we can't find happiness by pursuing happiness. We can only find it by serving. I want to look at Danny to see his reaction but I'm afraid to be so obvious. Besides, Donny nodded when the priest said that, so I know I wasn't the only one to pick up on it.
It makes sense. Like Danny said, it's what I'm doing with Danny and what Danny's doing with me. He will only treat me like he's training me to be his slave if it doesn't end up making me feel guilty and lousy about myself. Wow.
That's about all I can remember except for Donny putting his hand on my back to lead me to communion. I figure that means he's good with me. Oh, and the music was pretty. Mostly Latin. Again, very different from home. No guitars.
Danny's father invited us out to brunch at their "club," after Mass, but Danny begged off because I was leaving today and he still had things to do with me. I got a crushing hug and a kiss on the neck from Mamma and a solid handshake from Daddy and an admonition to be a good boy always. I really had to wonder whether or not "good boy" meant the same thing to Daddy as it does to his son. And, of course I would be a good boy. For Danny.
"That Club is a big bore," he told me in the car on the way to brunch at one of his favorite places. "I think you have to be over forty to join. Usually we're the only young ones there, Donny and Andrew and me."
I nodded my head. "Thank you for extricating us," I said. "Tell me, Danny, what did you think of the sermon today?"
"Good advice for a fag like you," he said in a light tone of voice.
"You'll get to serve plenty. Some day you'll be serving dicks all over the place. " I quickly thought up a perfect reply. "Good advice for a stud like you, protecting fags like me and teaching us just how to serve." I got a couple pats on the thigh, and they weren't gentle but that was just fine. "And that's precisely how I serve you, boy, so get used to it. There's a lot more to come."
I stay quiet like that, just soaking up the vibe he was building between us. The place he brought me to was very nice. It was geared to a young adult crowd, nothing ostentatious except for the white tablecloths—which I've only ever seen in the Chinese restaurants my uncle would take me to when was in town. He always took an interest in me until now. I wondered if he'd still be interested in having anything to do with me when he ever finds out I'm a queer.
The waiter who came to our table knew Danny. Danny introduced me as "one of our new employees who came to Mass with me this morning to kiss my father's ass."
"That's something I gave up on years ago," Dmitri (the waiter) says with a slight accent, "before I came to this country. I came here to be free from all that. I'm surprised you still go."
"Daddy's rules," says Danny. "Keeps him from getting on my case."
"Whatever it takes, I know. So anyway, you having the usual?"
"Yes. Same for both of us."
Well, that settles that. Why am I not surprised that he'd order for me? Parent/child mode again or maybe I should think of it as Master/slave now?.
When I find out what he ordered, it turns out to be fine for me. Two muffins with meat and eggs and some kind of sauce. Potatoes on the side.
"This is called `eggs Benedict," he tells me. Cut across and the yoke will spill out of the egg. Mix it with the sauce. Delicious."
Even here I'm told what to do. He's right, of course. This is the best breakfast I've ever had. And the potatoes have little bits of onion and peppers in them. Of course, Gavin the slob drips some of the sauce on his chin. Right away parent Danny reaches out with his napkin and wipes it off. "Gotta keep my eyes on you all the time, boy," my parent says. I eat it up.
"So is there still more you want to teach me before I go home, Danny?" I say, alluding to our earlier conversation. "Mostly just a review test with one new thing added in."
I look at him inquisitively.
"I want to watch you play with your nipples. Ever done that?"
I shake my head but them remember I have to use words or I'll get punished!!!!! "No, Sir."
"Then I'll just do it myself and show you how."
"Is it gonna hurt?" I ask, always still afraid that he's gonna hurt me for some reason.
"That all depends," he says, cryptically. "When you're home, I want you to play with them every time you jerk off. Consider it a homework assignment. And one other thing: I want you barefoot as much as possible."
"I'll add it all to my assignment pad," I say sarcastically. Barefoot? Nipples? Something new.
"You do that, boy." As we're saying all this, Dmitri is taking away our plates. He smiles at Danny. Danny nods. Dmitri winks. "That's right, buddy, Danny says to Dmitri. "You're not the only one who likes obedient boys."
"We should get together some time," answers Dmitri. "Show off what we've taught the boys to do."
Danny looks at him and nods. "Soon."
"Apparently you two have a private language you speak through your eyes," I remark, knowing full well that I'm blushing like crazy.
"You'll learn, I'm sure," says Dmitri before he walks away.
"Let's go. No check. I have an account here. Dmitri gets a 30% tip. Gotta treat the immigrants well. Some day I'll tell you Dmitri's story, or maybe let him tell you himself. You even get to suck an uncut dick. They don't circumcise over there, you know."
What can I say? Apparently he isn't gonna keep my mouth for himself.
"There's always a first time," I say submissively, with a sly smile. So yes, Danny, I'm willing to blow whoever you tell me to.
"Next time I'm gonna teach you to lower your eyes more. If there is a next time," he says.
I'm wondering how I can promise him there will be. Even if I do feel guilty about it. I don't want to run away from all this, even though I'm not completely sure what "all this" really is.
Once we get back on the road Danny tells me to "Keep your eyes lowered until we get home. Stop looking around all over the place." Oh well, I guess the eye-training lessons are already beginning. All well and good. It forces me to focus my attention on what's going on.
Danny is training me how to behave. I'm his boy. He owns me. I want to be a good boy for him. I'm in love with him. More now than ever. I pass the time thinking about these things and never raise my eyes a bit until he pulls up to the cottage and says I can look around again.
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I'm still looking for beta readers for a big project I'm working on. It's a lot more involved than the stories I usually write. If you're interested, write me at gordongary946@gmail.com and tell me a bit about your background. I'm looking for people who have struggle with being gay and Christian at the same time.