TWELVE—no sex in this chapter. It's needed to move the plot along.
We didn't go to the usual place for pizza but rather to a nicer Italian restaurant I've never been to, a lovely place about a half hour away.
"I had a long conversation with Mr. O'Donovan," he told me as we were on our way. "They think the world of you, I was told, and are so glad to see how well you and their son are getting along. He couldn't say enough about how much David—that's his name, right?"
"No, Danny, Dad."
"Well Danny says he couldn't never have gotten through the last two years of high school without your help and how close the two of you have become. I didn't realize you were such a good tutor or that was why you came home on the late bus several days a week.. Mr. O'D says that you're a much better teacher than any of the ones Danny had in school. Thanks to you, he managed to get a B's in both Math and Latin and a C in English."
"Oh wow! I didn't know he got those grades." I was obviously very pleased with myself.
"He was wondering where you'd be going to college next year. I told him you'd start out at a community college for the first two years and hopefully somewhere better after that. He was sorry to hear that; with your grades you could get accepted almost everywhere. Danny, he told me, is going to a small private school in Vermont. Apparently, Mr. O'D is a Trustee for that school. He offered to pave the way for you to be accepted there with a scholarship. They'd like to take you up there for a tour sometime this summer and start the application process if you decide to attend there with Danny."
Wow. College with Danny. College away from home, most especially away from Mom and her constant nagging nit-picking. For the first time I started looking forward to next year. It was like the clouds parted and the sun was shining through.
We went to a place that was far more elegant than the store-front take-out places we usually got our pies from. The charming décor, the tablecloths and candle lighting, the well-dressed waiters and the tables set in semi-private alcoves instantly made me realize that something very special was happening tonight, something unexpected, something important. Soft music contributed to the atmosphere without making it difficult for diners to hear each other.
Dad ordered special soups for us ("Trust me, you'll love it!) and sausage pizza. I had to chuckle; it seems that someone else will always order my food for me now. Much to my surprise, he didn't have a beer or cocktail—unusual for him. I found myself anticipating something as surprising as everything else that's been happening to me the last few days, and I wasn't disappointed. After the waiter brough us our drinks—cokes for each of us and a basket of small garlic loaves that made my mouth water—Dad folded his hands on the table and started telling me what was going on.
"It's time for some big changes at home. Fortunately, what is happening between you and the O'Donovans is going to make the transition a lot easier for you. The timing is fortuitous as it is unexpected." Suddenly he looked very sad, very serious. Uh-oh! What's up?
"Gavin, I'm divorcing your mother. She's getting the house. I've already found somewhere to live, a two-bedroom condo, so there will be room for you should you decide to move with me."
I was a little shocked but very relieved. In fact, I wanted to jump for joy. "Of course I will, Dad. I've had it with Mom's invective. I can't take it any more."
"Well then, that will no longer be a problem." He reaches out and puts his hand over mine. "Gavin, I have something to tell you that I've waited until your 18th birthday to let you know. My soon-to-be ex-wife is not your mother."
I choked on my coke. We sat in silence for a good while until I was able to speak. "Then who is? What's going on, Dad?"
"Your real mother died giving birth to you. It was a complicated, tragic, unfortunate mess that I don't wish to go into other than to tell you that I am indeed your father. Veronica and I had only recently married. Your mother—her name was Diana—and I had been lovers for over a year when she got pregnant."
"then why . . . ?"
"Please, Gavin, please don't ask more about that right now. It was an agonizingly difficult period in my life and I'm not very proud of what happened or how I handled things. The only thing I am proud of is that I took you home from the hospital myself and insisted Veronica and I would raise you as our son as if she had given birth to you."
Wow. That explains so much. Why she never really bonded with me. Why she had this intense animosity to me all of my life. Why so many things were so wrong. Why, why, why. and I have to tell you, I felt I'd just been set free from a nightmare, that I just woke up and discovered that everything was nothing more than a bad dream.
"So, now what, Dad . . . "
The soup arrived and smelled so good that I ate a bit of it even though I had lost all desire to eat anything now. There was too much I wanted to ask, too much I was trying to understand, too much to . . . what? I was having trouble thinking. The only thing on my mind was that I wished Danny was here to help me get through this. Danny. Danny. The thought of him was the only thing that helped settle the turmoil.
The soup enticed me, I must say. "thanks, Dad, this soup is awesome. Thanks for ordering it for us." I needed to focus more on the present and not on what quickly turned out to be a murky past.
"I'm glad you like it. So, I want to tell you more about my conversation with your friend's father. He'd been looking forward to meeting you—the whole family was. This past weekend was kind of a test. He wanted to see what the family dynamic would be with you as a quasi-"adopted" son and sibling. Obviously Danny wanted them to more or less take you in, and apparently his brothers have also accepted you. As for his mother, she's practically fallen in love with you; Danny had told her so much about you that she felt like she knew you before she even got to meet you."
". . . That explains why she was so affectionate with me, I guess. She really bowled me over. I got more hugs from her this past weekend than I've had my entire life from my own---well, from the woman I thought was my mother."
"I'm glad to hear it. I know it's been rough on you. To tell you the truth, I don't know how you managed to cope with everything, especially since you got to high school."
"I mainly just buried myself in my studies. And it's paid off, Dad. I'm really glad I did. Besides that, a lot of my teachers were so positive and encouraging to me it made up for what I didn't get at home. I managed to turn Mom—well, Veronica—off by the time I was in tenth grade. Nothing she said to me or did to me penetrated any longer. One of the Brothers at school taught me something to say when anyone got on my case. It's from the Bible: "thus far shall you come and no farther." Nothing she ever said or did could penetrate after I learned to say those words in my mind to her just about all the time. I was able to close part of myself off to her for good."
Dad just smiled. He looked relieved. He and I have never had a conversation like this before and now I know why. Things are going to be very different between us from here on in.
"Well then, it seems like things are falling into place. You taking that job with the boys means you'll be spending a lot of time away, and that's just fine since things are going to be unsettling the next couple months. Danny's Dad came out and offered to actually move you in more or less permanently. I'd like to spend some time with you once I'm settled in my new place, so maybe you can come back every once in a while to spend some time with me once I manage to extricate myself from things."
"Sure, Dad. I'd like that. I'll have two days off a week—Sundays and Mondays, Donny said, so there will be plenty of time to come down. Danny even promised me that they'd provide transportation back and forth. This will make things a lot easier if I don't have to come back here every single week."
"Then it's settled. You've got two days to pack up whatever you want to take with you back to Connecticut. Your mother—um, Veronica will already be gone by the time we get back. She's gone to spend a few days with her sister in Delaware. This will make things a lot easier for sure."
"So I've seen the last of her?'
"If you so choose. Of course. No need to subject you to anything more from her."
"I choose, Dad. This is amazing!!!" My appetite came back. And the pizza was awesome!"
"You know I'm not a religious man, Gavin, but it really seems to me that someone up there has been looking out for you, offering you a new life." I'll say! And of course, Dad will never get to know most of it. All I can think of at this point is being barefoot with Danny and getting hugs not only from him but from Mamma as well. And kissing his feet. In gratitude.
"You know, the whole family goes to Mass every Sunday morning. I think it will do me some good now."
"I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry we neglected so much in that area for you."
"that was fine. I got all I needed at school."
On the way home I thought about what I'd write in that journal Danny gave me. The next thing I think I'll write is, "I wish I could kiss your feet right now. Just to say thanks."
I guess I should start saying that to God as well. Danny, Danny, Danny. Thank God for Danny.
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I'm still looking for beta readers for a big project I'm working on. It's a lot more involved than the stories I usually write. If you're interested, write me at gordongary946@gmail.com and tell me a bit about your background. I'm looking for people who have struggle with being gay and Christian at the same time.