EIGHT
Danny can't keep his hands off me now that I've been shaved smooth. His touch is tender. "Mine, all mine," he says to me then plants kisses to all the shaved parts of my body. "it's all mine now," he says, "and don't ever forget it. I wish I could show you off to some of our former classmates. I wish they could see that I made good on the promise I made to them, that I would totally bring you down."
He gloats over me and it makes me feel proud. Proud that he cares so much about me, that he has made me actually want to belong to him, no matter what it might mean.
He looks so fantastic, standing naked before me. "I want you to kiss all the blond hair on my body that grows in places where you've been shaved bare," he says. He raises one arm at a time and I dive into his armpits and worship the hair that grows there. Then he pushes me down to my knees and I rub my face in his pubes and suck the hair on his balls. He turns around and bends over so I can lick his taint and then he spreads his cheeks. "Any hair on my asshole?"
"Yes, Danny. Just a little bit."
"So lick it."
I draw back. Lick his asshole? No. Too much. He waits but I'm sorry, I just can't bring myself to do it. Finally he stands up and turns around to face me. I'm afraid he's going to be angry, but much to my surprise, he just smiles down at me. "I understand, Gavin. Too much to expect you to do that? Okay. If it's too much, it's too much. But just keep this in mind, boy: the day will come when you'll be ready to do that for me, and when it comes, you'll be begging me to let you do it. That's right, faggot: I'm looking forward to the day when you beg me to let you lick the hairs on my asshole for me."
"Right now it's unthinkable, and I understand that. Hell, I'd never agree to lick another guy's asshole, not even yours. But I think you should do something special to make it up to me that you can't lick my hole yet. Something you've never done to me before, something that would show me how you feel about me, something that will show me you understand your place as my fag. What will it be, Gavin? What will you do for me to make up for what you can't do yet?"
I hate that he uses the word `yet.' He just assumes that I'll get to be that far gone that I'd actually want to lick him back there. But I have to focus right now. Danny is looking down at me waiting for my answer. I think what had happened with Bobby Cohen back in camp and realize what I can do. But I'm not going to go as far as I did with Bobby. No. Give him just a little bit at a time. Surrender just a little bit of my dignity to him. I hope it will be enough. So here goes:
I lower my head to the ground and kiss Danny's feet. Just a light kiss on top of each of his feet, not where his toes are but closer to his shins. Just a little kiss. Then I kneel up again and look up at him with adoration in my eyes.
"You kiss my feet, Gavin? What does that mean to you? What were you telling me when you just kissed my feet the way you did? Take your time, boy, but please give me an honest answer. I want to understand how symbolic it is that you kiss my feet. I want to understand what it means about your place in my life. Tell me, baby."
He looks down at me, still smiling, and waits. For a little while I can't meet his eyes. I have to focus on my thoughts, on why I kissed his feet the way I did. Of course, Danny doesn't know that I actually licked a boy's feet once and even sucked on his toes. But we were only kids back then, and after all, Bobby had let me wash his feet clean first with nice-smelling soap so there was nothing stinky about them. I know that some day I'll be doing that for Danny, even if his feet aren't clean, even if they stink. But I'm not going to give that away yet.
Danny's taking baby steps with me—except for having his brother and some older guy see me naked and shave me bare, that was quite enough. I just took a baby step myself, bowing down to kiss his feet—to ONLY kiss his feet.
I almost slip and call him "Bobby," but fortunately I caught myself. "Danny," I say, "I bowed down and kissed your feet so I could show you respect, so I could let you know that I see you so much greater than me that all I can do is humble myself by kissing your feet. So I can tell you that I worship you." I wanted to say "to show you that I'm your slave," but it's too soon for that.
"Well then, I'm proud of you for being that honest, for you realizing how inferior you are to me. Oh sure, we're still special friends, but there is a very clear sense of rank here: I'm the General and you're not even up to being a private yet. You say you worship me. I'm glad you can admit it. And nothing could show that better than having you kiss my feet the way you did, than having you humble yourself before me. Stand up now, boy, so I can touch your baby-smooth groin."
And so I stand, quite pleased that I made a good decision. And Danny touches my balls and my groin and feels how smooth it is. "Mine, Gavin, mine. Little boy bare for me. Everywhere." He reaches a hand up to my bare arm pit. "Only guy our age who is still hairless, that's you. I'm gonna call Johnny T and tell him I shaved you bare, okay?"
Johnny T is one of the guys that used to tease me a lot, one of the first ones to ever call me "faggot." I sigh and say "Please, not Jonny T. He really despises me."
"So much the better. Now I can give him a good reason to despise you. Couldn't be better. You understand? If you really can't handle it I'll tell someone else, but think about it for a second. He despises you already. You don't have anything to lose."
Shit, he sure can make a strong argument when he wants me to agree to something difficult. "um. . .okay, Danny, it that's what you want." "Come," he says to me. He goes over to his phone and dials the number. I never realized that Johnny and him were that close, that Danny knows his number by heart? Wow!
"Hey, Johnny, Danny here."
"Yea, thanks. You too. Anyway I have something to tell you that I think you'll get a kick out of. I've got Gavin here with me. Right, that Gavin. So I've got him here and he's standing next to me completely naked. I've been keeping him naked all the time now. Right." Danny laughs, "Sure does help him know his place. But wait, there's more, Johnny. Now get this: you know those places on our bodies where we started growing hair a few years ago? Right, there and below, yup, and between the legs too. Not only that, Johnny, but his fucking armpits as well. Well, my big brother and some guy we know were both over here, yeah, Gavin was naked, and not only that, but the two of them shaved all the hair off the fag's body. Yes, all of it: pits, pubes, balls, taint and anywhere else a couple of hairs were peeking out, like around his nipples. that's right, Johnn. The kid is perfectly bare all over. Not a hair in sight. He looks like a fucking eight-year-old now."
He listens in for a while, then cracks up. "Damn straight, Johnny. I'll be keeping him that way now and when he's not around me I've ordered him to fucking shave it off himself. From now on he'll be bare as a little boy, and almost always naked, no matter who is over here with me. . . . .sure, buddy. Any time. Just let me know and Ill give the fag a touch-up to make sure he's baby smooth when you come to look at him. . . .Next week? Okay, I'll check. Later, Johnny."
And my humiliation is even more intense now. Little did I know at the time, but it was only the beginning. And yet, just a little while after Danny got off the phone with Johnny T, I started getting those inner feelings of being thrilled that Danny was doing all that to me and showing me my place. Danny really was enjoying himself humiliating me and bringing me down. An hour later the two of us were taking a nap together with Danny holding me in his arms and whispering sweet things in my ear about how happy I was making him and what a good boy I was now that I knew my place. There was always a tiny barb in all the affection, and that was just fine with me.
Danny told me he'd planned to attend a party a few of his pals were having at Eugene's place that night. Eugene has a hot tub so this will be interesting. "I bet they won't even notice you shaved your armpits. If they do, just tell them you can't stand the way your hair was making them stink, or something like that."
We go out for pizza before heading over to Eugene's. Danny orders and pays. When our pizza is ready he sends me over to fetch it while he gets plates and napkins, etc. The pizza here is really good. Italian sausage on it, too. I can hardly get down two whole pieces, and that's without eating the crusts. Danny notices. "We're not leaving here until you've eaten both of those crusts, boy," he tells me. So shit. the tone of voice he's using is like a parent voice. A parent laying down the law to a rebellious child. I've always left the crusts behind, so this is really pushing me some. "Never eaten them before," I tell him.
"And you never sucked my dick and swallowed cum before either. Now you have. So just do it," was his reply in a tone I interpret as threatening punishment. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what it felt like to me. Or maybe it's just because I'm beginning to wonder if he'll ever decide to punish me. I had had a little of it at the camp from a counselor who took my pants down and spanked me a couple times, but he really didn't hurt me too much. It was the idea of it all that's always on my mind now. Only I know damn well that if Danny ever decided to spank me, it would probably hurt plenty. So I'm not going to be asking for it any time soon. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, eating the crusts. Not only that, but Danny gets up to get me another 7-up because I had finished the first one. "something to help wash them down," he says to me when he brings back the soda. "Thank you, Sir," I say, and one of the kids on the other side of the room does a double take when he overhears me calling Danny "Sir."
Danny noticed that the kid noticed, so when I finally finish off both crusts, he raises his voice and says "Good boy, doing what I told you to do" loud enough that the guy hears it and just stands there staring at us. Shit! This is Danny's home town but he doesn't seem to care about embarrassing me in public. So I see. Well at least this isn't even my home state, so I'm not going to run into anyone who knows me from home. On our way from the pizzeria to Eugene's, Danny says something that doesn't surprise me. "So anyway, we'll be in bathing suits—I packed one for you too. Since we're already stripped down I'm going to tell my friends that you lost a bet and had to get all your pubes shaved off, then ask you to pull down your suit and show them." Fuck! I remember my mantra "you can do anything you want to me, Danny," so that's how I respond to what he told me. Problem is, of course, we're gonna have to change into our suits, so the guys might see me bare anyway. I'll just have to keep my back to them, I guess.
But there's not problem. By the time we get there, the other guys are already in the tub so we go and change on our own. There are three guys and Danny and me. He introduces me normally and that's that. They're all nice, and funny, too. I know they all are from very well-to-do families—I mean, after all, Eugene even has a hot tub!—so I feel like the pauper in the bunch. Real inferior. And for the first time in my life, I don't fight it off and it doesn't hurt. Actually, as I'm learning, it's turning me on to be free to feel inferior. Besides, Danny hasn't told them anything about me—or so I think.
When we get out of the tub finally, we all go back into the cabana to change out of our suits. "Hey guys," says Danny, "my friend here, Gavin, lost a big bet with his cousin, and he had to let his cousin shave off all his pubes. Show `em, Gavin." This isn't bad at all. All I have to do is shuck down the bathing suit and there I am, all bare. Two of the guys crack up but then turn their gazes away, but one of them—Larry his name—came right over and really checked me out. "You know they do that to athletes sometimes as an initiation," he tells me. "No, Larry, I didn't know that." "I do know because I'm on the basketball team and I got shaved my first year. Feels weird, doesn't it?"
"So far it feels pretty good," I tell Larry. "It will itch like crazy when it starts growing in again," he says. "It drove me out of my mind. I was always hiding the fact I had to keep scratching myself." "There's an easy solution for that," says Danny. "Just make sure they don't grow back in."
"Wow," Eugene and the other guy say.
"One of the guys on my team did that," says Larry, "but his girlfriend wanted him to grow them back so he did."
"That's weird," says Danny. "I'd think she'd like him bare. I mean, my buddy here looks pretty good this way, right?"
That causes the other three to take another look, but they just grunt what I guess is agreement. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Please do NOT get hard! As soon as I can I pull my new black briefs up covering everything. I'm the only one, apparently, who isn't wearing white ones. "Hey, nice undies," says Peter (the third guy). "Your mommy buy them for you?" "I did," Danny confesses and the other guys look a little surprised. "Gavin stays over a lot so I didn't want our briefs getting all confused in the wash. Makes it easier that way. So he always wears the black ones when he's at my place. And one thing that's good about this brand is that they are very soft and very smooth. Perfect for having to wear against skin that's been shaved bare."
They all laugh at that. Then Eugene has a question. "gee, I didn't realize he was staying around so much," Oops! Danny's caught! What will he do with this?
"It's only since graduation last week. He'll be working with Donny and me this summer, so he'll have to stay around a lot. He lives down New York. So anyway, you'll be seeing a lot more of him," Danny promises and gives me a sly look which makes me think that eventually I'll have to be naked with his friends as well. Why does this thrill me so much? This was also Danny's way of letting me know that he's already figured out he'd be able to keep me with him.
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I'm still looking for beta readers for a big project I'm working on. It's a lot more involved than the stories I usually write. If you're interested, write me at gordongary946@gmail.com and tell me a bit about your background. I'm looking for people who have struggle with being gay and Christian at the same time.