Shocked

By Gunter Ragen

Published on Oct 18, 2007

Gay

I kicked back on that Sunday afternoon in my stone, day dreaming about my long lost first timer Doug and his re-entry into my world. I had gotten my yard work done and was tuckered. The few beers I had knocked back had knocked me into a nap. When I finally heard my cell phone ringing it must have been doing it for a while because it stopped and went to voice mail. When I grabbed it off the table only the number for the missed call showed up which started with a 619 area code. San Diego.

I waited for the beep letting me know a voice mail had been left but it didn't come. I had a good hunch that it was Doug as he is the only one with a 619 area code that would be calling me. He hadn't left a message though, so I debated calling the number back. I played the mind game on myself for an hour or so until I finally thought, "Dude grow the fuck up and just call him".

I picked up the phone and highlighted my missed call numbers till I got to the 619 and hit it. I waited through three rings before I started really getting nervous. Then came four rings and then five. I was headed for voice mail. Just as I was about to just close the phone and end the call, he picked up. "Hello this is Doug".

My heart began to race. "It's Shane, I saw your number on my phone", I answered. There was a short silence and I could hear a lot of road noise in the background. "Hey " he finally replied. "I hope it was OK to call you...I thought I`d call and see how you are these days". I relaxed a bit. "No problem man, I'm glad you did." There was an awkward silence so I went on, " So what is happening with you these days?"

I struggled to hear his voice over the background noise as he replied, "Man it is a long story. Too long for the phone. I just got divorced and I'm moving back up to Sacramento. Im on I-5 driving a U-Haul right now." Liking the sound of that I asked, "So are you moving up here for good?" "Yup, coming back home" he said. I responded, "So you already got a place lined up here in town?" He paused for a second and said, "Well not just yet, I am staying at my Dad's place right now until I find something. " he said. "You remember my Dads place?".

Did I remember? That was a good segue into what I really wanted to get at. "Fuck dude, I remember your Dad's house well." I offered. "We had some good times back then". I got a period of silence again before he came back with a short laugh, "Yeah, I guess we did huh." he said sentimentality. "So what your doing these days, I mean are you...do you have a...are you married or...?" My heart was racing again as I answered, "Well I was married for about 10 years and it didn't work out really. We split about 3 years ago." Doug sighed. "Yeah, well shit man I guess we`re in the same boat now huh".

I struggled for what to say next as the road noise hissed between us. "So, shit man you want to hook up over a beer or something once you get settled in?" I invited. More dead air followed before he replied, "Yeah I guess we can do that if you want to. I got a busy day at work tomorrow but I'll call ya and we'll set something up".

Feeling a wave of elation flow over me I said, "Cool man, you`ll like working for the company. You found a good place to come back home to." He himm and hawed for a moment. "Yeah, I hope so because I need something to rebuild my life with. I'm pretty spent". I knew what he meant. "Well, it has been a long time for both of us. Call me tomorrow, you know where to find me." More dead air followed before he said, "Thanks, that means a lot man. I'll call ya tomorrow." The line went dead.

It was all coming back to me like a pile of bricks. I remembered the last time we got together and how far that experience had evolved from the first time he rough raped me in his bedroom. He wanted more than just a fuck buddy and was none too happy that I was leaving for college. In some ways I wanted to get away. He had really pushed for me to stay in town so we could get an apartment together and have our little secret arrangement. There had been some heated argument and head games in the past month over it. I got off on the taboo sex we had but at 18 I wasn't ready to enter a committed lifestyle arrangement for a lot of reasons. We both had reasons.

He came by my house one day a week or so after graduation. I was in the garage going through some boxes when he walked up the driveway that day. "Hey", he said as he walked up and slapped me on the shoulder. "Hey" I replied as I watched him survey my college packing project. "So, you are really heading out huh?", he asked with a slight tone of defeat. "Yeah, I'm leaving in a couple days", I replied. He just kind of stood there looking at my boxes and asked, "Your parents here?" "No, they don't get home till late this afternoon", I said. Then he looked at me with his devilish grin and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling us close together face to face. He leaned in close and said softly, "Whadaya say we have fun one last time?" It was a relief as I had expected we would be arguing again.

Sinking into his spell, I looked out toward the driveway to see if anyone was looking and said, "Sure, but lets close the door." I reached up behind him and hit the button for the garage door as his hands began to rub my crotch. We started kissing feverishly as our hands roved around each other's backs. In a slathering embrace we stood there humping our hardening packages against themselves as our body temperatures rose. I reached into his loose sweat pants and grasped his fat bent cock in my hand and gave him a good hard squeeze . "Oh, man I want you so bad", he moaned. The big muscular mustached jock made me melt when he said, "I want you to fuck me, I want you to fuck me so bad", he said in a craven voice.

He was usually more of a top man, but when he wanted it up the ass, he really wanted it. "You got it bro" I replied as I slid my bermuda shorts down and let my bulging package hit the air. He immediately dropped to his knees and began working my rod with his square whiskered mug. The feeling of his rough stubble rubbing on my thighs as his hot wet mouth made me reel. I leaned back on the fender of my car as he gave me a man job, licking and sucking on my shaft just below my head. It drove me wild. But, he was just getting me juked up. He wanted my cock in his ass.

He pulled off of my throbbing rod and stood up and we kissed passionately again for a brief few seconds. He turned around and bent over the hood of my car and sticking his ass toward me. "I don't have any lube dude", I warned. "That's OK man just spit on your cock real good. Spit and shove or it aint love" he said with a slight laugh. We'd fucked before without lube, but we were smashed drunk. This time we would both feel the raw ride. So I dropped a few streams saliva on my hand and wetted up his pink love hole. He grinded his tight bubble butt at me like a purring kitten as I stuck my fingers in and out of his stinky paste hole.

As I probed him he moaned and grunted, "Come on man I`m ready". I was starting to realize how much I would miss having this lug around. I could never decide whether I liked looking at him from his puckered tight asshole and down his stretched V-Shape back or when he was wrapped around me fucking me raw face to face. I spit on my hand one last time and rubbed the tip of my cock, mixing my pre-cum with it. I then saddled up to this muscle stud's asshole and pushed in. "Ahhhh, fuck man, ohhhh yeah", he let out loud enough for the neighbors to hear. "Come on man give it to me", he begged as I pulled back and sunk my rock hard 6.5" cock into his wet hole.

I grabbed his hips and began driving him against my car's fender with as much strength as I could muster. Slap, slap, slap, slap. "Oh man yeah, fuck yea, come on man, fuck me", he moaned under his quickening breath. Encouraged I began fucking him harder and faster, feeling the deep pleasure of raw friction in his velvety hole. Truth is I didn't last long, it felt so fucking good I could not last. "Dude I'm gonna cum, this feels so good man", I warned hoping he wouldn't be too disappointed. "Oh yeah man, cum up my ass, cum in me and keep fucking as long as you can."

I slammed him into my car as I exploded in his ass, turning the resistant friction to luscious slip and slide. "Keep fucking me bro, don't stop, please don't stop, " he moaned. I continued to pump his sloppy sticky hole with my softening rubbery stick. The smell of ass filled the air. "Oh man, that feels so good," he muttered. "I love you, I love you so much". Back then I was never comfortable when he said that. I was not ready to be in love with a man. Fucking him was ok though.

My cock was loosing its stiffness fast as my cum began to run out of his bitch hole and down my balls, so I slowed to a more passionate massaging fuck. He finally got to the point of no return saying, "I'm gonna cum man, I'm gonna cum. I immediately pulled my spent sticky meat from his fuck hole and turned him around. I fell to my knees and took his throbbing mean in my mouth just as he blew his thick salty jizz. He pulled out of my mouth and jacked off, dumping his ropes of cum on my tongue and face until he was empty.

As I was starting to swallow, he pulled away. "Stand up", he ordered. Face to face he pulled us together, our spent sticky wet cocks rubbing against one another. He looked into my eyes and we kissed, sharing between our slithering tongues the remnants of his cum. The kissing seemed to last for ever as we stood there together embracing and taking the occasion to look into each others eyes, his seed swimming around on our tongues.

We came down from the high, got cleaned up and pulled our clothes back on. I wiped up the stray cum from the floor and my car's fender. Doug finally hit the garage door and let the light of the world back into our existence. We shot the shit with mindless char for a while as I got back to packing. I could tell he still had something on his mind though.

Finally he lit up a cigarette and blew some smoke before he asked. "So do you ever think we will be more than a couple guys who get off with each other in secret?" I felt the wave of familiar discomfort coming over me. "Dude, you need to get a grip on this", I replied. "We cant ever be more than this. I cant be gay. My parents would never go for that. You can't be gay. Your dad would not have his football hero being a fag." Doug looked at the ground a little pissed. "Have you ever thought of being that way? I mean just changing and choosing that instead of the normal way?"

I didn't want to have this conversation. `Man look, we have fun together but it doesn't mean we're gay. I mean you like fucking chicks. Shit, you got more pussy in high school than anyone I know.", I exclaimed. "We have to get on with normal lives like everyone else". "But don't you love me Shane?", he asked. I let out a deep sigh and said what I probably shouldn't have. "Dude, I cant say that. I'm not ready for that. Saying that means I am a fag. I know you want us to be roomates and have a secret relationship, but I cant do that man", I protested. "Doing that would mean I would have give in to this and I can't. Neither can you."

He threw his cigarette down and stomped it into the concrete. "Fucking great!" he quipped looking down at the ground. Then he looked up at me with a look of betrayal and said sarcastically, "Have fun at college!" He then walked to his truck and laid rubber away from my house.

That was how it was left nearly 20 years ago. I looked back on that day for many years and regretted the way I had ended it. I just didn't know how to handle it, I was not even completely aware of my own sexuality back then. All I knew was that we had our secret fun that the rest of the world openly detested. I knew that it could never be accepted, open or admitted to. No, I had to go to college and get married to a nice girl like everyone else.

To be continued....

Comments welcome gruntraq@yahoo.com

Next: Chapter 3


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