Disclaimer: This is a work of gay fiction. It will contain scenes describing sex between adult males. If that offends you, if you are underage, or if it is illegal to possess such material where you are, then stop now!
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To my dear faithful readers: First, my apologies for taking so long with this chapter, and my thanks for your patience in waiting. There is a tug of war between the desire to be timely and maintain momentum, and the desire to produce the best possible quality of work. I must confess that I have not just been busy for the past month, but I have been in a bit of a creative dry spell as well-hence the delay. Your correspondences have been encouraging and patient, and I am most appreciative for both qualities.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
AUDITION
How can I describe being seduced by the sexiest man alive, while watching my best friend, who is pretty hot himself, making passionate love to the runner-up? I knew that Adam had just received a pretty thorough fucking from his mate. And I suspected that he might like to take up where we had left off on Saturday night, with him about to stick it to me. I was right.
Adam drew me toward him and kissed me softly on the lips. He then enfolded me in his arms. Since I am well over six feet and a hundred and eighty-five pounds, in fighting trim myself, it takes some muscle to maneuver my body around. Adam managed nicely.
We lay entwined on one half of the bed, while Nicholas and Colin jostled for position on the other side like mating rattlesnakes, each going for the other's mouth with his own. We joined their laughter as Nicholas more or less pinned his handsome partner, settling his weight between Colin's strong thighs and grinding his groin into Colin's ample unit. Both were rock-hard.
Adam tasted as wonderful as I expected, not just his lips, but all of his skin. It was as smooth and warm and sensuous as any I ever stroked. The swell of his buttock was one of his most delightful features-but there were many equal delights. I'm mainly a top guy, especially with Nicholas, my always-willing bottom man, but I knew from the start that Adam was going to impale me on that enormous, arrow-straight, wrist-thick phallus of his. He'd been about to when he recognized that it would be a fuck too many for me the other night, and he'd been waiting to have his way with my ass ever since (actually, long before, too-he later told me that Colin had come in from his recruiting visit to me talking about what a fine piece of ass I'd be this summer. I didn't mind hearing that. By this time, I was glad to be thought of as a fine piece of ass!)
Adam slid off of me and reached for the lube beside the bed. He quickly released a smear onto his fingers and immediately transferred it to my relevant part. Another smear for his complementary part, and he was set to go. He pulled up behind me as I raised my upper leg to receive him. He was licking at my neck as he slowly but relentlessly slid his long member into my anus, stretching my sphincter to its widest yet. The enormous head of his engorged cock truly felt like I imagined a fist would feel, reinforcing the resolve that maybe I'd better stay away from that particular activity.
While I panted a bit quietly (I have this macho thing about not groaning or grimacing with pain when someone is stuffing a large object up my anal cavity, like I'd be a real wimp if I admitted that I felt any pain), I was also watching my bud Nicholas tom-catting the luscious surfer-boy Colin. He was just beginning to slip him that enormous sausage, and Colin was looking a bit apprehensive about receiving it. I found out that for Colin, this was a pretty unusual event, as he took the bottom role only occasionally, especially for such a bruiser cock as Nicholas' (or Adam's). Guess he really wanted to convince the two of us to join Adam's film cast.
Watching those two from my vantage point of twelve inches away, with the thick, slick cock of dreamboat Adam sliding smoothly into and out of my ass, I was overcome almost with the sudden realization of how beautiful and sexy my Nicholas was. Damn! I guess he was always a good-looking dude, and I guess I was always aware of that, even back when I was not officially noticing such things. But, oh man, what a change The Association had brought about in that young man! He might be their highest achievement of the summer. His skin now shone with animal beauty and sexual energy. His perfect proportions, absolute muscular and skeletal symmetry, and rippling contours reminded me of a well-conditioned panther. He even bared perfect, white teeth as he grinned at me intimately. I was concerned about this whole movie idea, especially about Stephanie, my future career, folks back home-hell, my grandmother-finding out about it. But what a shame it would be if my hesitancy kept this sleek and perfectly made creature from being seen by an appreciative public.
Adam's ample erection was sliding deep inside my bowel during this reverie. It seemed I could feel the rim of his big, swollen cock-head pass all along my colon, creating ripples of pleasure all the way-especially as it passed that pleasure button, my prostate. I had the most thrilling sensation of fullness and satisfaction when I felt his trimmed pubes tickle my butt cheeks, signifying that the schlong was buried as deep within me as it could go. I grinned with pleasure and enjoyment of the irony-this was me, straight, horny, pussy-hound Doug, receiving the sausage with enthusiasm and enjoyment. Who'da thunk? To this day, I consider myself a top-man. Nothing beats the sensation of ejaculating a big load into the warm human flesh of a mouth, ass, or cunt, particularly after a long build-up of slow-deep fucking. But damn. Right next to that, I do love a big, thick dick slamming or sliding in and out of my stretched-tight anus, and finally firing round after round of thick, gooey man-cum into my depths.
It took a good while of slowly long-dicking me for him to come to that, but Adam did eventually fire a number of rounds up my ass. I clamped my rectum down on his root and felt the spasms as his cock clenched rhythmically, half a dozen or more times. I had already had the pleasure of watching Nicholas cream Colin's gut. What a cute expression he has when he cums-all intent on the exquisite pleasure of the sensation, not the least bit self-conscious about the joy he takes in his sexual gratification. He is all man, yet so much like a little boy, too, in his simple pleasure. He grinned and winked at me as the last drops of his ejaculate dribbled from his cock into Colin's butthole. Then Colin's strong hands grasped Nicholas' head and pulled it down to do kiss him deeply on the mouth, and about that time, Adam gently rotated me around onto my back to deep-dick me from another angle.
We lay sprawled together on the big mattress for several minutes after both Nicholas and Adam had satisfied themselves, but it wasn't long before we swapped positions, while keeping the same partners. Now it was my turn to satisfy my dream of the summer, to fuck my heart-throb Adam. I began with a nice, leisurely make-out session, demonstrating my prowess as a deep, wet kisser (I've driven many a girl to near- orgasm working entirely above the breasts). I could tell Adam was impressed by the way he bared his neck to me and parted his tender lips to receive my tongue. In a sideways glance, I noted that Colin was doing pretty much the same to Nicholas, with pretty much the same appreciative response.
Our limbs entwined more and more. My hips ground more and more insistently into Adam's groin. I felt his heavy, full member pressing against my lower abdomen, pushing at my navel, while my own hard probe explored his scrotum, the crack between his upper thighs, his butt cheeks. He spread his legs just a bit, and angled his hips just slightly upward, and the next probe landed square on his relaxed anus. One little push on my part, and in it slid. It was the easiest and most natural coupling I ever had with a man. I had forgotten that Adam had been fucked earlier in the evening, and he came to me pre- lubed, not only with gel but with Colin's abundant sperm as well. I pushed deep within him, and my smooth mound was quickly pressed against his shaved balls. For a moment, I could not bear to withdraw. My tongue pushed just as deeply as it could into Adam's oral cavity, and our lips aligned. I felt his breath flow into my lungs, and then return from mine to his. Then, the urge to rut overtook me, and I slid my long cock out of his ass until just half the head remained at the sphincter, before I leaned forward again and slid the full length back where it had been. For several minutes, I savored this long, slow movement, every cell of my considerable phallic tissue tingling with the ecstasy of the moist stimulation. In time, though, the urge was too strong to resist, and I increased my momentum gradually as my cock demanded. Adam's eyes just beneath mine first glazed over, then closed in bliss. He made a soft crooning sound as I fucked him, his thighs spread wide, long legs bent at the knees, and beautifully formed feet dangling in the rhythm of my thrusting hips.
When I came inside him, it was as if my life essence flowed from me into him. It did not seem to be in spasms of ejaculation, but rather one long, shuddering overflow of semen, emptying my balls and prostate of every drop of fluid. His anus gripped my cock and stripped it of its load like expert hands milking a great, stiff udder. I collapsed onto his firm, sleek shoulder, resting my head beside his, my dick still stuffed in him to the hilt.
I don't know how long we remained that way, both of us perfectly comfortable and content. When I turned to glance over toward Colin and Nicholas, I found them in almost the same position together as Adam and me-and they were both soundly, gently, asleep. I kissed Adam's cheek, rolled off of him, and sat up on the edge of the bed, elbows on knees, head hanging. I was spent, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Adam pulled his feet up and swung them around to sit beside me, quietly for a moment, giving me space just to be. But after a bit, he asked gently, "What is it?" He sat right beside me, his thigh against mine, the warmth of his skin radiating toward mine all the way to my head.
I didn't know how to respond. Here I had just had one of the greatest sexual experiences of my life, with a man I had admired and, frankly, lusted after for weeks. Yet beside him lay Nicholas, the-what, love of my life, maybe?-sound asleep entwined with-the love of Adam's life? I thought, Am I the only one confused here? Can it be that this is normal and comprehensible to everyone in this bed except me? A lot of water had passed under the bridge in these last weeks-well, a lot of semen had passed between me and a bunch of other young men-but, hell, it was still all so new to me, my mind shorted out every time I allowed myself to think about it, which tended to be only in the few down moments when I had run completely out of spunk in my nuts.
I gave a preliminary sigh. "Shit, Adam, I don't know. I'm all confused. Nothing is making sense to me right now. How can I explain it to you?
"I will tell you one thing I know about last Saturday night-I'm not completely stupid and un-self-aware. I'm not a drunk, really, and I'm not a slut, either, at least not a bottom-slut, though I know I put up a good show of both. But I was reacting, and being a damn fool."
I paused and gathered my thoughts, because in fact, I was expressing a realization that was just coming to me at that moment.
"It was because of Nicholas. Not his fault, but it was about Nicholas. Well, no, it was about me-my feelings for Nicholas. You see, we made this stupid mistake, or maybe I was the one that made it, I don't remember. But we decided to separate in the maze down in the Crypt. He went his way, and I went mine. I had a couple of little meaningless sexual encounters, but that was nothing to me. What ate my ass was that I did not know what Nicholas was doing, or who with. I couldn't stand it, the not knowing. We'd been together for so long, we haven't done anything apart. Then, all of a sudden, he's out of sight, I don't know where he is, or who he's with, and I freak.
"Adam, you don't have to tell me, I know. I'm certifiably insane. I need a shrink. I don't need booze, I need Prozac, or something."
Adam remained quiet, though I felt his warm and reassuring presence. His thigh lay against mine just as it had, no pulling back in horror.
Well, if he wasn't going to say anything, I had to go on.
"You'd think I was in love with him, or something."
Still no response.
"Well, if so, then I don't understand anything about this. Look at us. We both just had great sex with other men, right here together on this bed. I can't answer for Nicholas, but I loved it! And I gotta say, he gave every appearance of loving it, too! So how can I be in love with him, or he with me? We're so fucked up!"
I felt tears beginning, and I fought them back. I was not about to go maudlin here and now with this man I admired so much, and with Nicholas and Colin right behind us, liable to waken at any moment.
"I almost told him I loved him the other day. Came real close. You know what stopped me? It hit me right between the eyes-he was all set to blow me off if I did, for after we finish here, anyway. I know the score. I'm a great fuck, a good summer friend, and all that-but when the summer is over, it's sayonara, baby. He's back to his life, and I'm back to mine. So, luckily, I stopped just in time. Still, we have to say something, don't we? If not the truth, or the whole truth, then what?"
At this, I was done, and Adam knew it. He spent a moment reflecting on what I had just said.
"Douglas, most of what you just told me comes from your own fears and doubts, doesn't it? Not really from Nicholas himself?"
I sort of half nodded, half shrugged.
"I can't tell you anything about you, only you can do that. But I'll tell you something about me-and Colin, OK? I guess you've figured out, we were paired together at our training in The Association. You know what? We had the same room as you and Nicholas. So I guess maybe I've done a little psychological projecting this summer myself with you two-but I've been fascinated and drawn to both of you all summer, and so has Colin. We like you and admire you both a lot.
"But that isn't my point. About me and Colin. I knew I was gay when we came, he did not. In fact, he was actually porking a cheerleader at the time, if you can believe anything so trite. Well, soon enough, he was porking me, and liking it. It wasn't until toward the end of the summer it began to go the other way, too." He chuckled.
"Like all of you here this summer, we were also playing with others. Both together and separately, even more than you and Nicholas. It took us all summer to figure out that we were in love with one another. It finally came out in a big blow-up over Steven Powers, a guy in our group. Colin came into our room during free time one afternoon, when he was supposed to be playing handball, and found me in our bed with Steven's cock stuffed up my ass. Colin had one major, roof-raising fit, and it took four guys to separate him from Steven.
"Now, here is where it gets crazy, as you say. Both Colin and I had fucked Steven silly, and his partner Stanley as well, many times. But only together! That was the issue. Colin did not really mind if Steven fucked my ass-as long as he knew about it and was there with us. In that case, he actually enjoyed us having sex together.
"I can't say it is true for all men, but for many or most men, I think it is. Generally speaking, for women, sex and love are the same thing. But for most men, they are not. We can have sex with many people, and thoroughly enjoy it, and it is just sex. But we have love with just one, or particularly with one. Once Colin and I realized that, we have had smooth sailing ever since. We both play sexually with many men in The Association. But never secretly or privately, and generally in one another's presence.
"You see, Nicholas, I like you. I long for you sexually, and as a friend. I desire your company and the enjoyment of your body and personality. I can mate with you with my body, and take real pleasure in it. But I love Colin. I am mated to him with my soul, and I will be for all of my life. That's the difference."
Is that it? I wondered. Is that what is going on with me?
And if it is that way for me, how about Nicholas? Is it possible, just remotely possible, that he might feel for me something of what I feel for him?
Will I ever get the courage to be a man and find out?