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The Confessional
Lionel
When Father Matthew finally heard another confession, which was worthy enough to turn into a Father Warren story, it was all he could do to maintain his composure. The penitent had done more than sin, he had betrayed the trust he had sworn to uphold. Matthew meted out the harshest penance he could. The sin was so grievous, the penitent could certainly count on a one-way ticket to hell, even though Father Matthew had absolved the sinner, and blessed him.
That evening Matthew sat down at his computer, and began to write.
Lionel was an off duty cop, who just happened to be shopping in a small, mom and pop, grocery store in his neighborhood. He was browsing down one of the aisles trying to decide what canned soup to buy. His apartment was miniscule, and he bought just what he needed. He shopped at least every other day.
He thought he was dreaming, and his job was going to his brain, when he heard a young male voice ordering the proprietor to open his cash register, and hand over the money. It took but seconds for Lionel to realize that there was a real robbery in progress. He stealthily approached the young man from behind, and calmly stuck a gun in his neck.
"I'm a police officer," he said. "Please put that gun on the counter, and step back. Do as I say, and nobody will get hurt."
The young man was truly frightened. Lionel could tell that he was shaking, and he prayed the guy wouldn't let loose in his pants. He laid the gun down and stepped back as Lionel had ordered. Immediately, Lionel cuffed him, and read him his rights. Now the young man was sobbing.
Lionel picked up the toy gun from the counter, and led the attempted robber outside, because he didn't want to disturb the business inside the store, any more than it already had been disrupted. There was a small bench just adjacent to the entrance. The policeman and the boy sat down. Lionel intended to call for a police car to pick up the perp from there.
He took out his cell phone, but hesitated before making the call. He took a look at the crying youngster. This was no hardened criminal, and Lionel wanted to find out more about him, before booking him.
What's your name, how old are you, and where do you live?" Lionel asked the lad. He tried to soften his tone. He didn't want to frighten the boy even more than he already was.
"I swear, Mister, this was my first time. I'll never do it again. Please, let me go."
"Just answer my questions," Lionel said in the kindest voice he could. It was already obvious that he would be unable to have the young man arrested. He was too handsome, and Lionel was too gay, not to give him another chance at life.
In a faltering voice, the robber said, "My name is Jimmy Hansen, I'm just past my sixteenth birthday, and I'm homeless."
"Homeless," Lionel repeated. "Yeah, you do smell a little gamey. At your age you should be living with mommy and daddy," he said facetiously. "Are you a runaway?"
"No. I was kicked out of the house," Jimmy said.
"How come? Did you rip somebody off?"
"Nothing like that. My folks are Fundamentalists, and they found out somehow that I'm gay. I have no idea how they found out, but they did, and they kicked me out. That was two months ago. I got a part time job at a local Wendy's, but I don't earn enough to rent a room. I managed to buy a razor, a toothbrush, and all the fixings, and every morning I wash up in the bathroom at the store. Every time, I get a couple of bucks together, I wash my clothes at a laundromat, and occasionally I buy a clean shirt and a pair of shorts at a thrift store."
"You seem to be managing very well," Lionel said. "Why did you fuck up this morning?"
"I thought if I could get some cash, I could rent a room. I've been sleeping in back alleys."
"I'm off today," Lionel said. "When do you have to go to work?"
"I'm off today also. That's why I did what I did. I figured I could look for a place, after I got my hands on some cash."
"Well, son" Lionel said, "if you do exactly what I tell you to do, we'll both forget this whole thing."
Jimmy looked apprehensively at the big burly cop. His fright returned to him full force. "What do I have to do?" he asked with a quiver in his voice.
"Well for starters, Lionel said, you'll come home with me. We'll wash your clothes, give you a bath, feed you, and after that, I'll come up with something."
Jimmy was still dubious. "Why would you do that for me? Why are you being so good to me? I'm a crook, and you said that you are a cop."
"If I thought for one minute that you were a crook, I wouldn't be doing this. I just want to see you get a break, and help you along the way. You see, my young friend, I was kicked out of my house for the same reason you were. I was homeless at first, and needed help desperately, but there was nobody who could, or would, take pity on me. I got a part-time job as a bus boy, and as soon as I got myself together, I applied to attend Police Academy."
"You're gay?" Jimmy asked in astonishment. He couldn't believe that anyone so macho, could be gay.
"Yeah, I am, and the whole police force knows it. I even belong to a club of gay policemen. Some of my brothers have had some minor incidents with their fellow officers, but personally, I never had."
It was clear to Jimmy now why Lionel wanted to help him, and he was more at ease. "Okay, he said. Let's go. A shower, right now, would be the nicest thing that could happen to me, but first tell me one thing."
"Sure," Lionel said. "Let's be open and honest with each other."
"Please tell me your name."
Lionel burst out laughing. "It's Lionel like the trains," he said.
Lionel took Jimmy home. Immediately after they entered his small apartment, he told the boy to strip to his birthday suit, because he wanted to throw everything he was wearing into the wash machine. Jimmy was a little self-conscious, but he did as he was instructed. When he was naked, he put his hands in front of his genitals in a vain attempt to cover up. Lionel burst out laughing.
"I hope you're not going to be shy with me, because I sure as hell need a shower myself. I'm just off a ten-hour shift. We'll shower together, and do our backs," he winked at Jimmy.
Lionel assumed that Jimmy's parents had caught him having sex. He was wrong. They had heard rumors about their son, and they confronted him. Jimmy admitted the truth, and they threw him out. Now he berated himself. Had he lied, he would still be living at home. The bottom line is that Jimmy was a virgin, and he was scared stiff. Lionel would have been more sensitive had he known.
It was only natural that they checked each other out. Jimmy still had golden hair, the kind you only see in young children. His pubic hair was blond and sparse. He was uncut and about three inches, but obviously he was not yet full grown. As Lionel stared at him and smiled, the boy's cock actually got smaller, because he was so scared stiff of what was happening. Conversely, he was extremely grateful for Lionel's help and concern for him.
Jimmy stared back at Lionel. He saw five flaccid inches of uncut beauty. He could only imagine how big the man grew, when he was hard. All he knew was that he was frightened.
"Do you like what you see?" Lionel asked. Jimmy was mute. Lionel's question went unanswered. In his defense, Lionel would have been much less obvious as to his intentions, if he had known that Jimmy was a virgin. He took Jimmy's hand, and led him to the bathroom. Jimmy was glad that Lionel's hand held him gently, almost as if he was being caressed, which he was.
"Now that I can smell myself," Lionel said, "I am certain that we both need this shower." He started the taps in his stall shower, and when the water got hot, he stepped in with Jimmy in tow. He took the soap from the dish, and proceeded to soap Jimmy's entire body, front and back. When he felt that Jimmy was squeaky clean, he pulled back Jimmy's foreskin. Lionel almost gagged. Underneath his foreskin, Jimmy housed some sort of stuff which looked like yellowing feta cheese. Using soap, water and a gentle hand, Lionel cleansed the boy.
Jimmy's hormones trumped his fear, and he began to erect. Lionel got him good and hard, and stopped stroking. Jimmy moaned softly. Lionel handed him the soap. He didn't have to say a word. Jimmy was now fully aroused. He took the soap and did everything to Lionel that Lionel had done to him. When he reached the area of genital hygiene, the boy hesitated.
"Don't be shy. Nobody is going to bite you. Just wash my cock.
"I'm not shy, I'm scared. This is my first time."
Now Lionel understood Jimmy's fright. "Don't be afraid," he said. "I promised I wouldn't hurt you."
Jimmy screwed up his courage, and he pushed back Lionel's foreskin. The cop was partially plumped up, and Jimmy's task was made quite simple. Lionel was antiseptically clean under his foreskin. He saw Jimmy staring at his cock. "As long as you live with me," he said, "you'll keep your cock clean, and smelling like lavender."
"What do you mean about living with you?" Jimmy asked. Even though the water was too hot for his tastes, Jimmy was shivering.
Lionel wrapped the boy in his arms, and pushed his almost full erection into the boy. It probed Jimmy's innie. "You don't think I'm going to put you into the foster care system, and have you probably ending back on the streets," he said. You'll stay with me for now. Where do you stand in school?"
"Next month, I'm entering my junior year. The school is very near here. I'm pretty sure that this apartment is probably in the same school district."
"I'll go with you on the first day of school, and get your address changed. I should have your parents arrested for abandoning a minor child and endangering his welfare, but you're better off with me, that is, if you want to stay here with me."
When Lionel wrapped his arms around Jimmy, the boy's hands remained at his sides, but now he embraced his savior, and began to cry softly.
"Stop sniveling," Lionel said kindly. "Just tell yourself that God is rewarding you for being such a good boy."
"When he threw me out, my father said that I was going to hell."
"Your father is an idiot. He's the one going to hell. Now are we going to finish this shower or not?"
Jimmy thought they were finished so he was shocked when Lionel soaped up the palms of his hands, enveloped Jimmy's cock and started to stroke him. Jimmy started to whimper, and came very quickly, emitting one loud groan.
"Your turn," Lionel said. Jimmy didn't move. Lionel's lust had made him impatient. "What are you waiting for?" he asked.
"I'm scared," the young boy confessed. "I've never done anything like this before. I know that if I do it, I'll go to hell."
"Stuff that nonsense," Lionel was yelling now. "We are both going to heaven. Shit, I think I have to do an intervention, and cleanse you of your religious beliefs. I'm a Catholic. I believe in God, but my God loves me the same as anyone else. Do you think He has time to care who sleeps with whom?"
Lionel took Jimmy's hand and laid it on his cock. "Wrap your fist around my monster, and start stroking gently. I'll tell you when to stroke harder." Jimmy swallowed his fears, followed Lionel's instructions, and he gushed into the boy's palm rather quickly.
He and Jimmy left the shower and dried up. They went into the bedroom naked. Lionel was aware of Jimmy's discomfort. None of his gym shorts or underwear would fit the boy, so he tossed a ratty bathrobe at him, and Jimmy put it on gratefully. It was so big on him, it trailed behind him like a wedding gown. Lionel put on a pair of gym shorts.
I'm making us ham and egg sandwiches for lunch," Lionel announced. "Any objections?"
There were none. Jimmy wasn't hungry. He ate well enough at Wendy's, but he couldn't remember having eggs since he was evicted from his home. He shook his head at Lionel.
At one point during their very silent luncheon, Lionel took Jimmy's hand. "I'm sorry if I frightened you," he said. "I didn't realize that you were a virgin. So let me warn you in advance, the hand jobs we gave each other are just the first rung on the ladder of male sex. I'm going to take you all the way up to the top of the ladder," he promised.
Lionel expected Jimmy to smile, but instead, he began to shake, and he was obviously holding back tears. "You won't hurt me?" he asked. "My father always told me to beware of gay men, because they enjoy raping young boys." Lionel could not believe what he was hearing. He jumped up, and raised the boy from his chair. He held him so tight, the boy was having trouble breathing.
"I give you my word," he said. "I will never hurt you." He could feel the boy relaxing a little bit.
"The wash is done." Lionel announced. "I'll throw it into the dryer. I never got my shopping done, so I'll take you out to dinner tonight," Lionel said.
"I can get us a free dinner at the Wendy's where I work," Jimmy said rather proudly."
"Not on your life. I'm taking you out for a real meal tonight. There are always a lot of cops in this place we are going to. It's a favorite of ours, so if I meet a friend, I'll introduce you as my half-brother, who has come for a visit before school starts up again. Okay?"
"Sure, anything you say."
"In the meantime, I'm going to give you the best gift I can. Come with me."
Jimmy followed Lionel into his bedroom. The boy began to shake again. His fears were unreasonable, but his religious beliefs would give him no peace. As much as he wanted his desires to be fulfilled, he was scared to death. Worse yet, he observed that the tiny apartment only had one bedroom, and one standard size bed. He knew that if he were to stay here, he would be sleeping with Lionel every night. Well, it beat the back alleys or a prison cell, so he told himself to relax.
Lionel removed Jimmy's robe and laid him gently on the bed. The boy began to erect again. This pleased Lionel because he knew that the boy recovered quickly. Well he was only sixteen, after all. He lay down on top of the boy and supported his weight with his elbows. Jimmy could not believe that this hunky giant was not crushing his bones. He barely felt him.
Then Jimmy was introduced to a new sensation. Lionel placed his lips on his adopted kid brother. At first he kissed Jimmy gently with a closed mouth, but then he started to pry Jimmy's mouth open with his tongue. Jimmy responded and their tongues began to tickle each other. Jimmy's lust was growing faster than Lionel's. If I'm going to hell, Jimmy thought, it sure is a beautiful journey.
Jimmy was enjoying these wet kisses, but they didn't last long. Lionel began to kiss his way down Jimmy's body, and the boy began to writhe as if he were in agony, instead of in ecstasy. Lionel wanted to take the boy on a full trip around the world, but his lust was too strong, and he didn't want to waste the time. He buried his head in the boy's crotch, and started licking Jimmy's balls and cock. Jimmy was whimpering now, and when he announced that his climax was imminent. Lionel swallowed his cock, and eventually swallowed his cum.
He lay down beside Jimmy and the two hunkered up to each other. "I want you to do that to me," Lionel said. Jimmy was speechless so he just nodded. He had his masturbation fantasies, but this exceeded his wildest dreams.
"I'm pretty big," Lionel went on. "I want you to relax your jaw as much as you can, and try not to scrape me with your teeth. Use your tongue as well as your lips. I know your jaw will get tired. It's okay to take a rest. We have a few hours before we go out to dinner, and I'm not in a hurry. I really don't mind if you are unsuccessful the first time. We'll get you there." He leaned over and kissed Jimmy.
Lionel underestimated the sexual mojo of a sixteen-year-old boy. Jimmy was able to get half of Lionel's rod into him, and better still he brought Lionel to orgasm in less than five minutes. He swallowed everything, and when Lionel kissed the boy, he hardly tasted any cum.
"You were born to suck cock," he told Jimmy proudly, as if Jimmy were his natural born son. Tomorrow after work, you can fuck me, but I won't fuck you until I have worked on reaming you open wide enough to accept me, so don't worry; I told you, I'll never hurt you. Now let's shower again. Your clothes must be dry, and we'll get dressed and go out to dinner.
Lionel did not meet any of his friends at the restaurant, after all. When they got home, he was too tired for sex. He and Jimmy slept naked, and they hunkered close to each other. Lionel woke up at 3 AM, and they were still holding each other. He needed to pee badly, so he risked disturbing Jimmy by getting out of bed.
He was standing at the commode, when suddenly he was filled with pain and regret. He realized that he had broken the law. He had failed to book a criminal, whom he had caught red-handed robbing a store. In addition, he committed statutory rape on a minor, whom he had lured into his home by blackmail. He had promised not to turn him in, in exchange for sexual favors. If he had done all the right things, he would have turned the boy over to the proper authorities, at the get-go.
His first thought was to surrender himself to his precinct captain, but he couldn't do that. They would put Jimmy in the foster care program. He might lose his job, as meager as it was, and if he was unhappy in his foster home, he might run away and go back on the streets. No, he couldn't let that happen. He didn't know if he loved Jimmy or not, but he did know that he and the boy had bonded. He couldn't let anything happen to him. He knew what he had to do. He had to confess his sins, no, his criminal activity, to his priest, and beg for absolution.
In the morning, he made sure that Jimmy had a good breakfast. He gave him a spare key to the apartment, and they both went off to work. It was the first time Jimmy had seen Lionel in uniform, and he could not believe how handsome his benefactor was.
As soon as Lionel was seated in his car, he called his precinct. He claimed that something must have been wrong with his dinner last night, because he had the runs so badly, he needed to take a sick day. With that out of the way, he ran to his church. The only person he could find that early was a cleaning woman. She told him that Father Warren lived in the house just behind the church.
Lionel hurried over, and knocked on the door. Father Warren answered. He was wearing a sweat suit, and Lionel was surprised. He had never seen Warren so informal. Lionel attended church regularly, and Warren knew him well.
"You look troubled, Lionel," the priest said. "What's the matter?"
"I need to make confession, Father. Will you meet me at the confessional?"
"I can meet you there, but it isn't necessary. I can hear your confession right here."
"I don't know if I can look you in the face when I confess my indiscretions, Father. I'd prefer the confession booth."
"As you wish. I'll be there in a moment." Father Warren felt he was dressed enough for a kitchen confession, but not for a formal one. He grabbed his clerical vestment and wore it over his sweat suit.
As soon as he was seated in the booth, he heard the familiar words: "Bless me father for I have sinned."
"How have you sinned, my son?"
Lionel related the events of the day before, including explicit description of his sexual adventure with the young boy. Warren feared he would rip through his sweat pants, he was so aroused.
"You have been openly homosexual all your life," Warren said, "so it would be foolish of me to tell you to stop this sinful behavior, but what you did to this young virgin requires me to mete out maximum punishment. I want you to increase your weekly tithe from 10% to 12%."
"That's all well and good Father, but you are missing the big picture. It's not the sex with the boy that is the issue. I love the boy. You see, my problem is that I committed three crimes. I failed to book a known criminal; I blackmailed him into coming home with me, and I raped him. Even if it was with his consent, it was statutory rape, nevertheless. I should turn myself in at the precinct, but if I do, the boy will be abandoned once again. He refuses to go into foster care. He'll run away, and he'll end up sleeping in back alleys again. I can't let that happen. I couldn't live with myself. I was hoping that you would advise me what to do, and absolve me. I swear, I won't touch the boy again until he's eighteen."
"I'll do both. First of all, you stopped a crime from happening, so the boy didn't commit one. Therefore, you don't have to arrest him. You didn't black mail him into coming home with you; you took him off the streets. It was a rescue mission. You were a good Samaritan, and you probably saved his life. As for the sex, I understand that you are two young and healthy homosexual males, who never took the vow of chastity like I did. God gave you these urges, and I know how hard they are to resist."
Father Warren had not exactly absolved Lionel. He just rationalized his behavior and made it all right. Lionel felt better, but he was very confused. If he didn't know better, he would swear that Father Warren had just confessed that he himself was gay, but he didn't act on it, because he was obeying his vow of celibacy.
Lionel didn't dwell on this revelation too long. He just felt that a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt good, and he went to work, telling his captain that he felt much better.
Father Matthew wrote the story as quickly as possible, and sent it off under his pen name of Nob Rainer. He expected to receive the usual hate mail, condemning him for Father Warren's rationalizations. He was shocked. Most people thought that Father Warren did the right thing, because he actually saved two lives.
Father Matthew (Nob Rainer) failed to take into account that his readers consisted entirely of gay men. If he had, he wouldn't have been surprised at all the positive feedback he received.
Authors Note: Look for more stories from the confessional, whenever Father Matthew gets around to writing them.