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Chapter 7 - Secrets at the Claust
...Connor pulled back and looked down at Jace. "I think I've fallen in love with you, Ser," he said softly.
Jace stared into Connor's eyes, having finally heard the words he'd been longing to hear. These past few days, Jace had been grappling with his intense feelings for Connor--made even more difficult to come to terms with because he feared Connor did not return his affection. But now, it was out in the open; he'd heard the words.
"I love you, Connor," he said, grinning widely. "I think I've been falling in love with you since the moment we met. I was so scared you didn't feel the same."
Connor smiled, a mixture of happiness and nervousness in his eyes. "I was just very nervous. In my past...there was someone else." He seemed to shrink a little, and leaned into Jace's chest for strength. "I fell in love with someone who didn't love me back the same way," he said quietly, as if he were embarrassed.
Jace smiled at him and wrapped him in his big arms, pressing their naked bodies together tightly. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jace asked. He had shared so much of his past with Connor, but he knew somewhat little about Connor's life other than he had once studied to be a Venamage.
Connor pushed himself up and looked into Jace's eyes. He trusted this man, and he knew that if they were going to have a relationship, he would need to disclose his past.
"It started at the Claust, where I was studying to become a Venamage," Connor began, hoping that Jace would be understanding of his past. "My family comes from a long line of Venamages--not all of us, but at least one per generation. I'm sure anyone can learn the histories and study the medicinal books, but they say that the greatest Venamages share the common blood of the originals. Aside from science, there are...other aspects of being a Venamage," he looked to Jace as he said this, trying to discern how much he knew of the Claust and the men who studied inside its walls.
"I know of the magic," Jace replied, having seen firsthand the power of some of the great Venamages. "During my time with The Covenant, we often enlisted the help of those in The Order to aid us in the Dark War."
Connor smiled, knowing at least that he wouldn't need to explain magic to someone outside The Order of the Venamage. "My family can trace its roots all the way to one of the original nine Venamages, and my parents were elated that my twin brother and I both showed interest in studying at the Claust from a very young age."
"I didn't realize you had a twin brother," Jace interrupted. "You've mentioned your parents, but never a brother."
"Yes, well..." Connor seemed to hesitate, "my brother Draedan and I were very close, and when we turned 15, our parents decided it was time for us to begin our studies. Venamages must live and work in the Claust for five years, pouring over books, journals, scrolls. Records of all of the realm's history can be found there. For our first three years, Draedan and I kept to the same curriculum as all the other boys, but the summer we turned 18, we were placed with the other boys with strong Venamage blood. We were to be part of the group that would learn to harness the magic."
Jace hung on every word that spilled from Connor's mouth. Though he had interacted with some of the Venamages over the years, he knew very little of how they came to be experienced in such mystic arts.
"Draedan and I excelled at the Claust," Connor continued. " We spent all of our time together. If we weren't in our lessons, then we were in our shared quarters, playing games or reading to each other. We were inseparable. It was during this time that we became even closer..." Connor's voice had quieted, unsure if he should continue.
"You can tell me anything," Jace encouraged him, desperately wanting there to be no boundaries between them.
Connor turned towards the cliff, looking out into the darkness. "Draedan and I had always shared a bed. As twins, we felt an indescribable closeness. And during our time at the Claust, that closeness intensified. One day, after a particularly grueling lesson, Draedan returned to our chamber and was upset. News of the Dark War had reached the Claust, and everyone knew that things were going poorly in Crown's Keep. Venamages were being hanged by the Veiled Shadow, and Draedan feared that they would capture the Claust and destroy it, likely killing us all as well."
"I remember those days," Jace said somberly. "I was not yet a man of the COCK, but Crown's Keep was a scary place to live at that time."
Connor reached for Jace's hand, needing something to ground him to the present as he continued his story. "Draedan was so upset--I had never seen him like this--so I reached for him and pulled him down into our bed, holding him tightly. As he cried into my shoulder, I rubbed his back, trying to be of some comfort to him. Finally, I was able to calm him down. I looked into his eyes, pressing our foreheads together to let him know that I was there for him, and he leaned closer and kissed me.
It took me off guard, being kissed by my brother, but it was immediately comforting at the same time. I could sense his relief as soon as it happened, as if he was finding a familiar safe haven there with me. I began to kiss him back--slowly at first, before it began to build in passion and intensity. Our hands began roaming over each other's bodies, and we moved as if we were in a trance. Before I knew it, we were both naked, rolling back and forth on our bed. We changed positions depending on where our hands drifted. With Draedan being my twin, it was like I was becoming acquainted with my own body for the first time again."
Connor looked back at Jace, the weight of his embarrassment evident on his face. Jace immediately took Connor's head in his hands, leaning in to kiss him.
"You have nothing to feel ashamed about," Jace said, pulling back from their kiss. "Besides," he went on, "if he were your twin, I imagine he made quite the handsome specimen." This last part made Connor smile, and he pushed Jace back a little.
"Of course you would make a joke when I am pouring my soul out for you," Connor said. "Do you even care to hear the rest of the story?"
"Yes, yes! Go on," Jace replied, changing his position on the ground and adjusting his cock, which had grown slightly thicker in the last few moments. The thought of a young Connor, rolling around naked in a bed with his twin, had caused considerable excitement.
"Well, we continued holding and kissing each other, and I began to move my lips over his entire body until I reached his cock. It looked just like mine, and the excitement of putting it in my mouth was too tempting for me. I swallowed it whole and began to suck it fiercely. I can still hear his moans as I worked my tongue around it, and I remember the tight grip he had on my hair as I bobbed up and down on it. All of a sudden, he pushed me back on the bed. I thought I had done something wrong or he had decided that he didn't want to continue. Before I could say anything, Draeden was on top of me, lowering his mouth onto my own member. He sucked it in quickly, taking it all the way down his throat. It was the first time anyone had ever sucked my cock, but he worked it like he had been doing it for years.
"I tried to continue watching the scene before me, but the pleasure was so intense that I found myself slinging my head back and closing my eyes repeatedly. I noticed that Draeden was gripping his own cock, furiously pumping it back and forth in the same rhythm that he was sucking on mine. Within minutes, we both were on the edge of explosion. I looked down at him and gasped `I'm about to cum, Drae,' assuming he would pull off, but he clamped his lips down even tighter, and I erupted into his mouth. He took all the load down his throat, swallowing several times, and I looked down at the bed and realized he had spilled his own load all over the bed."
Connor stopped, noticing that Jace had let go of his hand and placed a blanket in his lap. He wondered if the story was having an effect on him. Connor grabbed the blanket suddenly, catching Jace by surprise.
"I knew it!" Connor said, jokingly pointing at Jace's now visible cock, throbbing in his lap. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Of course I am," Jace replied. "The thought of you pleasuring someone who is an exact copy of you--what more could a man want?"
"Well," Connor continued, "it wasn't exactly perfect. After that first time, we formed a habit of always sleeping naked and always finding little moments to touch each other whenever we could. It began as a way to relieve the stress of life at the Claust. Whenever we felt anxious, scared, or lonely, we would find relief with each other. Soon we moved beyond oral pleasure, and he began to penetrate me. The feeling of his cock filling my hole while he held me tight was so comforting to me. Studying at the Claust was so intense, and the distraction of friendships was strongly discouraged, so we were all each other had. He always wanted to be inside me--I think he felt a level of control that way--and I loved it. I would look up into his eyes as he barrelled into me, and it was like looking in a mirror. He would close his eyes, smile, a wave of pleasure covering his face as his cum filled me. I couldn't imagine a closer bond than that of brothers who loved each other so."
Jace listened intently, wondering when the imperfect part began. So far, this sounded like a perfect arrangement, and he was beginning to grow jealous that he never had a brother of his own.
"About a year and a half later, our time at the Claust was nearly over," Connor's words bringing Jace back to the present. "Draeden and I had continued to service one another almost every day, but suddenly he began to withdraw. We had received letters from our parents, saying how proud they were that we would soon be fledgling Venamages following the Ceremony of Light and Darkness. Whenever I brought up our leaving the Claust, Draeden would become silent or find a reason to leave the room. It had been weeks since he had been inside of me, and I knew something was wrong.
Finally, I confronted him about it. I asked him what was bothering him, assuming he was scared for us to start our new lives away from the Claust, and I assured him that we would always have each other and we would always be together. I still remember his response."
Jace noticed that Connor now had tears in his eyes. He squeezed his hand, as if to remind him that he was still here for him.
Connor sniffled quietly. "He told me that once our time at the Claust was over, he wanted to travel far away, alone. I didn't understand. We had been inseparable all our lives, and I couldn't imagine being without him. Draeden's voice was so monotone. He said that he wanted to take a wife, have children, and live in the South, as far away from the Dark War as possible. He wanted to be the Venamage for a small village, and he wanted me to stay far away from him. I was heartbroken.
'What did I do?' I asked him, but his response only made me feel worse. He told me it was nothing I had done, but that he knew I could not give him the life he desired. We hardly spoke for the next few weeks, each of us becoming distant and reclusive."
"I'm so sorry, Connor," Jace said, tightening his grip on Connor's hand. He pulled him in close, wrapping Connor in his muscular arms.
Connor continued to recount the painful memories. "I thought what I had with Draeden was love, and that it would last, but he didn't want that life. The pain became too much for me to bear, and in the spring, I withdrew from the Claust. Because I left before the Ceremony of Light and Darkness, I am no longer permitted to use any of the magic I learned there. They can never take the knowledge of the histories or sciences, but if the elders ever found out I used the magic, I could be sentenced to death."
Jace pulled Connor closer, tightening his grip. "Connor, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how painful that must have been."
Connor sighed, leaning into Jace's embrace. "It was, and for several years, I bounced from village to village, far away from the Claust, teaching children or working on farmland. I used what knowledge I had gained to help others. When the Dark War ended and Crown's Keep was being rebuilt, I decided to travel there, hoping to start a new life. That's when I took ownership of Queen's Rest, because I enjoyed being surrounded by all the bustling people. It helped me forget about the past."
Connor sank further into Jace's chest, and his hand rested between Jace's thighs. He felt warm and safe here with the knight. "When I was younger, I thought that the feelings I shared with Draeden were true love, but they weren't. He was so special to me, but now I see that he was just a placeholder, leading me to you."
Connor lifted his head and leaned in toward Jace, opening his mouth to kiss him. They sat there on the ledge of the cliff, holding each other as the sun began to rise from the horizon. They had stayed up all night talking, and yet neither felt tired. Jace pulled away from their passionate kiss and stared at Connor, smiling. Somehow, he knew that this was the man he would spend the rest of his days with.