The Love We Have

By Dannii Ree

Published on Sep 13, 2001

Gay

Okay, I don't have much to say. Just that I'm going on vacation for a few days, therefore I send out three chapters today. You know the rest... and if you don't, just read the notes in chapter 13:). Feedback, please!!

Chapter 14 by Dannii

About thirty minutes later, Justin met JC in front of the classroom where they were going to have their composition lessons from now on. Justin went over to JC with an exited smile on his face. JC looked at him and grinned.

"There you are! What's up, you seem so exited."

"Guess what?" Justin asked. "I have a new teacher for the drawing class. I mean, the schedule said it was going to be a Mrs. McGrath, but it seems as if she quit her job very sudden, and now Chris is teaching us. I mean Mr. Kirkpatrick, but he told us to call him Chris. He's really cool, like you said. Wow, I can't wait for the classes to start! I think I love college! And the best thing is that I don't have to buy anything for the art classes, I already have all the supplies we need. I only need a new camera for photography."

JC laughed at Justin's enthusiasm. "That's great, Justin. So, what do you say, do you want to go for some ice cream with me after the composition class? It's so warm, and we could celebrate your first day at college."

Justin smiled back at him warmly. "Yeah, that sounds nice. But lets go in, I think they're about to start."

He followed JC into the classroom, and they chose two chairs next to each other and began to listen to the Professor's speech.


Justin put the rest of his ice cream cone into his mouth and swallowed loudly, which caused JC to grin at him.

"What's up?" Justin wanted to know. JC grinned even more.

"Nothing really. You just have ice cream in your face." Immediately Justin's hand went up to his face to wipe it away.

"Where? At my mouth?" JC nodded.

"Yes, right above your lips." He watched as Justin wiped around aimlessly, but the ice cream was still there when he was finished.

"Is it gone?" JC shook his head.

"Nope. Here, let me help you." He leaned forward and wiped the small spot away with his thumb. Justin's breath caught in his throat when he felt JC touch his face, and he stared at him. JC stared back, his hand still on Justin's face, frozen, when they heard a familiar voice from behind Justin's back.

"Now look who we have here!" JC looked up and smiled at Tyler while he moved his hand away from Justin's face.

"Hey Ty. What's up?"

"Nothing really", Tyler replied and sat down beside Justin. "I was on my way home when I saw your car outside. I thought we could compare our schedules to see if we have any classes together."

"Oh, that's a good idea", Justin said and searched through his backpack for the paper that had been given to him in the morning. "I haven't really looked on it so far." JC took it from his hand and skimmed it through.

"Damn", he said, "we only have one class together, Curly. I really thought it was more."

"Which one?" Justin asked.

"Composition. I thought we'd have music therapy together, but I forgot that I'm in the advanced class now."

Justin pouted for a moment, but then he thought <Maybe it's for the best. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my classes, with him sitting beside me all the time.> They saw that Tyler and JC also had one class together, but Tyler and Justin didn't.

A few minutes later, Justin and JC said goodbye to Tyler and went back to JC's car to drive home. On the way to the parking lot they suddenly heard somebody call.

"Hey, wait a second!" The two boys turned around and saw a girl approach them. She was about 5'4'' small and had long, blond hair. She looked vaguely familiar to Justin, but he didn't know from where.

"Hi", she said breathlessly when she was standing in front of them. JC looked at Justin, who just shrugged.

"Hi", they both answered and waited for the girl to say something. She turned to Justin and smiled at him.

"I'm Britney. Well... I saw you in drawing class today, I was sitting a few chairs away." Now Justin remembered. She was the one who had been staring at him all the time. "I was wondering if... well, I forgot to write down the supplies we need for class, and I can't remember all of them. I thought that maybe you could tell me what they were?"

JC had to hold himself back not to snort. He doubted that she really forgot to write them down; it was obvious that she just needed a reason to talk to Justin. <It's just like I told him>, he thought. <His first day, and already the girls want him. Now why am I so jealous? It's not that I own him, he can do what he wants.> He watched as Justin smiled at the girl apologetically.

"No, sorry, I didn't write them down either, cause I already have all the supplies at home."

JC couldn't help but smile when he heard Justin refer to his father's house as home'. He was happy to hear that Justin already felt home here. He saw Britney's disappointed expression, but a second later she smiled again.

"Oh, that doesn't matter. I'll just ask somebody else. - So I guess we'll see each other Wednesday in class, right?" Justin nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. See you then."

"Okay, bye." She turned around and walked away, and JC looked at Justin curious.

"What?" Justin wanted to know.

"Well... you tell her that you have all the supplies at home, what means that you must remember them - but then you tell her that you don't remember what they are?" Justin blushed.

"Yeah, well... I didn't really want to talk to her. She's been staring at me all the time during class today, and to be honest, she scares me a bit. She's so forward. And she's not really my type. Plus, I saw her writing everything down while Chris talked." Now he grinned.

"I told you that the girls would love you", JC said while he unlocked the doors to his car and they got in.

"So, and now? Home?" Justin nodded.

"Yes please. I really need a shower. Or, much better, a cooling of in the pool. You up for it?"

<Do you have to ask?> JC thought.

"Jace? Hello? Somebody home?" Justin waved at him.

"What? Oh, sorry. Yeah, sure I'm up for it."

They drove in silence for a few minutes, until JC broke it.

"So, Curly, tell me... you said that that Britney girl isn't your type, although she doesn't look bad. What is your type then?", he asked just as they pulled into their driveway. JC cut off the engine and waited for Justin's answer.

"You know," Justin answered while he opened the door. "A week ago, I really thought that my type were girls with long blond hair. But now I think that I go for persons with brown hair and blond highlights."With that, he jumped out of the car, and JC could do nothing but look after him with an open mouth.

<Did he just say person?>

TBC...

Chapter 15 by Megan

JC sat in his car for the next five minutes now able to move. He had brown hair. And it had blond highlights in it. Did Justin mean him? <No, he couldn't have, he's not gay, right?> JC asked himself. When he was finally able to walk, he got out of the car and walked slowly into the house.

When he got inside, he searched downstairs for Justin, but didn't find him. He then went up to his room, and noticed that the bathroom door was locked. <So that's where he is,> JC thought to himself, wishing that Justin hadn't run away from him so quickly.

He heard the shower start and sighed. He'd have to wait to talk to Justin. He figured he might as well do something while he waited. He changed into a tee shirt and shorts, grabbed a basketball from his room, and headed down to the driveway.

Justin stepped into the cool shower, cursing himself. <What is going on?> he asked himself, <now I can't even be around JC without getting hard.>He stayed in the shower until he started to shiver from the freezing water. He got out and dried off, before wrapping the towel around his waist. He walked into his room and put on some pajama pants and a tee shirt, wanting to be comfortable. He grabbed his journal before walking downstairs and into the kitchen for some water.

He wondered where JC had gone. <Probably out with his friends. I'm sure my comment scared him off,> Justin thought to himself. He suddenly wished that he hadn't said it. But he couldn't take it back now.

He made his way through the front hall, planning to sit on the swing on the front porch and think. He froze when he saw JC out playing basketball. Justin wasn't sure if he could face him yet. But he figured if JC came over to talk to him, it would be ok.

He opened the front door as quietly as possible, not wanting JC to notice him yet. He moved over to the swing and sat down, sitting indian-style, his journal in his lap. He opened it to a blank page and began to write. He'd neglected to write in his journal since he'd moved into JC's house. He'd had so many other things on his mind. The last entry was written on the night before he left Tennessee. He'd been so worried that he'd be teased in Orlando too. But everyone was so accepting and caring. JC's friends had taken him in and now he was one of them. The girls' reaction to him earlier that day had been hard for him to believe. <Why do all the girls want me all of the sudden?> he asked himself.

He probably had JC to thank for that. JC hadn't changed Justin's physical appearance, he wouldn't even let Justin change his hair. "The curls are beautiful, Justin, don't cut them," JC had said. And that had been the end of that.

The part of Justin that JC had changed was on the inside. When JC had accepted Justin into his house with out even knowing him, he'd helped build Justin's trust in other people. JC had also helped him be more confident about his talents. He was still a little nervous about showing his work to Chris, but he was sure that JC would get rid of his nervousness with a little pep talk.

Justin was so grateful that JC had become a part of his life. With out JC, he'd probably still be afraid of anyone he didn't know. He'd be afraid to let his real personality out. But he did have JC.

He looked up and watched JC shoot hoops for a minute. He watched JC get a concentrated look on his face as he aimed. He noticed how the muscles in JC's arms flexed as he shot the ball.

Justin wasn't sure of many things in his life at that point. But there was one thing that he was sure of. He wasn't looking at JC as just a friend anymore, and it was scaring the hell out of him.

JC could feel someone watching him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Justin sitting on the porch swing. He continued to play, pretending that he didn't know that Justin was watching him. He tried to think of something to say to Justin. But he didn't know what to do. He decided to take a break so he put the ball down in the grass and sat down beside it, his back to Justin. The front yard sloped down to the street quite steeply. There were a few trees beside that road that blocked the view of the house form the road. Those trees had been there since JC was born. He remembered climbing those trees and building forts in them with Joey and Steve when he was younger. He wondered if he could still climb.

Suddenly, he stood up, turning to see Justin still looking at him. JC smiled at him and the saw Justin blush and look down to his lap.

"Come here," JC said to Justin before turning back around and walking down the slope of the lawn.

Justin wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to be around JC, but he wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't gotten much thinking done and he'd written next to nothing in his journal. Instead, he'd been staring at JC. He was embarrassed that JC had caught him staring.

He looked down the yard, wondering what JC was doing down there. Curiosity got the best of him and he made his way down the lawn.

When he got to the trees, he stopped, trying to figure out where JC had gone.

"Up here!" he heard JC's voice say from above him.

He looked up, and sure enough, there was JC, sitting on a large branch about ten feet above him.

Justin was about to ask JC what he was doing up there, but JC shushed him and told him to come up.

Justin agreed and climbed up to where JC was sitting easily.

"Hey," JC said.

"Hi," Justin replied, smiling.

"So," they both said together before looking at each other and laughing.

When JC noticed that Justin wasn't going to talk before he did, he cleared his throat and said, "Joey, Steve, and I used to climb these trees when we were little. We made forts too." His eyes lit up at the memories that rushed to him, and then he continued. "This one time Joey and Steve were trying to find a tree to build another fort in and the tree they finally picked didn't look big enough. But they started making the fort anyway. It ended up collapsing and they were upset then, but now it's actually kind of funny. Anyway, sorry about that, I was just remembering some things."

"It's ok," Justin replied, grinning at JC. "You know what Jace?"

"What?" JC asked, looking over at Justin.

"You're my best friend. I've never really had a best friend, or any friends for that matter. Thank you so much for not caring that I'm a nerd," Justin blurted out, smiling shyly.

"No need to thank me, Justin. You're not a nerd either, you are a great person, and I love to hang out with you," JC responded.

Justin only smiled.

"Now, I think we should talk about what you said in the car," JC said, climbing down from the tree, followed closely by Justin. There was silence between them for a moment.

Then Justin said, "Yes we probably should." They both stood looking at each other, neither knowing what to say to the other.

Justin was about to speak again when he heard someone calling his name. He looked toward the house to see his mom on the porch.

"Must be dinner time," JC muttered, angry that they were being interrupted.

He wanted to know why Justin had said what he'd said. But he would just have to wait.

"Yeah," Justin agreed as they walked back towards the house. "We'll talk after dinner, ok?"

"Ok," JC said as they reached the house. Justin smiled at JC one more time before heading into the bathroom to wash his hands for dinner.

He had no idea what he was going to say to JC when they talked after dinner, but he figured that he should let his heart do the talking for once.

TBC...

Chapter 16 by Dannii

Dinner was eaten in silence. Jim and Lynn looked back and forth between Justin and JC who didn't really look at each other, but they didn't say anything. Nevertheless it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was just that they didn't need to say anything now. When they'd finished eating, JC and Justin helped Lynn clean the table and then went into the hall to go upstairs, but Lynn called Justin back. Justin looked at JC and shrugged.

"I'll be upstairs soon."

"Okay. Meet me in my room?" JC asked and Justin nodded.

"Sure." He went back into the kitchen where Lynn was standing with her back to the window, leaning against the dishwasher. Justin could hear the sounds of the TV coming from the living room, what meant that Jim was watching the sport news. Justin looked at his mother expectantly.

"What's up, mom?" he asked. She looked at him, concerned.

"You tell me, Justin. What's up with you today? You haven't been yourself at dinner. Is something wrong with you and Joshua?" Justin sighed and looked back at her.

"There's nothing, mom, I promise. Everything is fine with Josh and I. In fact, it is better that fine. Josh is wonderful, the perfect big brother. It couldn't be better." Lynn smiled at his sincere tone.

"That is great, Justin. It's more than I had hoped. - But what's up with you then?" Justin sighed again. How could he tell his mother, the person that knew him better than anybody else in the world, that he was falling in love with the boy that would be his stepbrother soon? There was no way he could tell her that. He didn't think that she would be disgusted if he told her that he thought he was gay, or bi; but the person he liked would be his brother soon. Stepbrother, okay, but that wouldn't make a big difference, for sure. He just couldn't tell her.

"It's nothing, really. I just have to come to terms with everything, my new family, the college...everything is so different here. They accept me for who and what I am, they actually like me. For the first time I have real friends, and I am no outsider here." He looked up at his mother and saw that she had tears in her eyes. He went to her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so glad that we're here, mom. This is the best thing that ever happened to me." A tear slipped down Lynn's face, and she kissed her son on the cheek.

"I'm so glad, honey, I really am." They stayed embraced for another minute, then Lynn slapped Justin on the ass lightly and moved him out of the kitchen.

"No go and do whatever you wanted to do. I'm sorry that I didn't have enough time to talk today, but I promise you that tomorrow we'll sit down and you tell me all about college, all right? Cause I want to now everything!"

"Sure, mom", Justin answered and began to climb up the stairs. "Good night."

"Good night, sweetie."

The door to JC's room stood open, so Justin went inside and looked around. JC was nowhere to be seen. He heard movements in the bathroom, and one second later JC entered his room, now dressed in pajama pants and tee shirt, like Justin. Suddenly Justin's heart was beating rapidly in his chest, and he was nervous. But JC seemed just as nervous as he did. He went to his bed and sat down, and Justin followed him. They looked at each other and smiled nervously. JC was it who broke the silence.

So... what did Lynn want? Is everything all right?" he wanted to know. Justin swallowed.

"She wanted to know what was up with me today, you know, at dinner." JC nodded.

"And, did you tell her what was up with you?" Justin shook his head.

"Not really. I mean, how could I tell her that... that..." he broke up and looked at JC helplessly.

"That what, Justin?" JC asked softly. Justin took a deep breath and whispered

"That I... how much... how much I like you." He looked down at his hands, not daring to look JC into the eyes after the confession.

JC thought he was dreaming. Had Justin really said what he thought he had said? That he liked him... much? Was it possible that Justin liked him just as much as he liked him? He didn't know what to say, he just looked at Justin, who was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt nervously.

"And how much exactly is that, Justin?", he asked softly and took Justin's hands in his own. Justin swallowed heavily and took a shaky breath.

"Josh, I... I... I don't know what's up with me. I... I like you so much. Very much. More than I probably should. Maybe I'm making a complete fool out of myself now, and maybe you'll be completely disgusted with what I have to say, but... I have feelings towards you that I've never had before, for anybody. Feelings that I probably should have towards a girl, and not a boy. You make me feel so good, and loved, and... I want to spend every minute with you, and..., but I'm afraid that..." Justin couldn't go on rambling, because JC had leaned forward and silenced him with a kiss.

Justin sat there, dazed, not moving a bit. His brain tried to understand what was happening, tried to understand why his heart was beating so fast, why his stomach was fluttering, why his hands were shaking. And then, after a few seconds, he began to respond to the kiss. He felt JC's lips moving against his slightly, and he let his lips move in unison with them. He felt JC's arms wrap around his waist, caressing his back, and he wrapped his around JC's neck and grabbed the back of his head. He felt JC's tongue softly licking at his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth to let JC's tongue enter. And then their tongues touched, and it felt like a shock was running through Justin's body. And JC felt it, too. He wrapped his arms tighter around Justin, like he never wanted to let him go again, while their tongues dueled erotically with each other.

And then, suddenly, JC was sitting on the bed alone, and Justin was up, pacing around the room, until JC told him to stop. Justin did as he was asked, he stopped dead in his tracks, and just stared at JC, a mixture of fear, confusion and a lot of other emotions shown on his face.

"I'm sorry Jace, I shouldn't have...", he started, but JC interrupted him.

"No, Justin, don't be sorry. I wanted it as much as you did. I was the one who made the first move. I like you so much, Justin. I think I'm falling in love with you. it is scary, but that's how it is. I know that we only know each other for two weeks, but I have the feeling that I've known you my whole life. And, most important, in the last days I've had the feeling that you might feel the same. And when I heard you say that you like me so much, I thought... damn it, Justin, what's the matter? Was I mistaken?" JC looked at Justin hurt, but his expression changed when he saw a tear escape the younger boy's eyes.

"No, JC. You're not mistaken. But... what I wanted to tell you before we kissed... I don't know what to do. I like you so much, and I want nothing more than to be with you, but I'm afraid that maybe I just like you because you are the first person ever besides my mother who likes me for who I am. I never had friends before, and you helped me so much. I think I like you so much because you are so wonderful, because of you, but I want to be sure. I don't want to hurt you and find out one day that it wasn't real love, just gratitude. I want to be sure. I just need some time. Please", he whispered. "I don't want to ruin what we have - if I haven't already done it. Please." He started to cry freely, and JC jumped off the bed and took him in his arms.

"Oh, Justin", he just said and hugged him tightly. Nothing else was said in the next minutes, they just stood there, in the middle of the room, in a tight embrace, rocking back and forth, until they both had calmed down. Then JC drew his head back a bit and smiled at him, although inwardly he wanted to cry.

"It's all right, Justin. It's all right. I'm glad that you are so honest. I don't want to lose what we have, either. You mean just too much to me." Justin clung to him tightly, and JC stroked the back of his head.

"Thank you, Josh, thank you. Just give me some time. I just want to be sure", he repeated. JC closed his eyes. He knew that there was a hard time coming - for him, for Justin, for them together. Even if Justin decided to give it a try, that would just be the beginning. What would their parents say, their friends, people at college? <I don't care,> he thought. <I just want this to work out. There's nothing I want more.>

TBC... ********** feedback to Dannii: eponinchen2000@yahoo.de and Megan: jujuissecksi@hotmail.com

Next: Chapter 16


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