For all those who wish to read, and are permitted by local law. THIS IS FICTION. I hope you enjoy. would love feedback as its my forst attempt at this. errr, i will put a warning, bear with it, it does have a story to go with it.
I am average. I won't lie and say i'm the best looking guy on the planet; i'm not. I have shaggy brown hair, am tall, but not freakishly so, have muddy brown eyes which some people have said have a depth to them that even they cannot quite explain. I'm not unfit, but not really ripped. I have a nice body though. I've known for a long time my sexual orientation. I always had to be scared though, at seventeen, it just wasn't acceptable to be gay. So i always kept it a secret. I'd went out with a couple of girls, just to keep up pretences. I never even kissed them though, but luckily i got by unoticed. This is the story of my first time, and the boy i fell in love with and the power of telepathy that he had that brought us together.
I had just turned seventeen when i had met him. He was one of those who had been given the grace of god and was pretty much everything that made me want someone. He could've been Collin Farrel's son; he had the same hair and eye brows. No one could deny he was hot. Now at this point i had a good group of friends, and we wern't like most of the others groups, who tended to contain a significant amount of charva's or people who were fake or superficial. I had heard a new guy was starting at my school, but hadn't seen him at all. He wasn't in any of my classes, but he did have the same free periods as me. He would always go with the group of friends he'd made quickly when he got here and go into town during these times. I still didn't know his name when we met, i hadnt asked anyone in case it drew attention to me. He'd just come back with his friends at the end of the free period. I was heading to the lounge area, set up soley for sixth form when someone jumped onto my back. It was a new fad, people would jump on others and start humping them and claim the guy underneath them was gay. I couldn't allow someone, especially if it was a guy i fancied, to stay there long. The physical contact and dominance was a quick turn on for me. So I did what i always did, and flipped the person over my back without thinking. He slammed down hard.
"Oof. What the fuck was that for?" I straightened, and saw it was him. I decided to play it cocky, it would be a mistake to appear weak in front of these sorts of people. "Errr i belong on top, not you." He blushed as the guys around his laughed at my comment. I sighed inwardly. I hated this social practice. He got to his feet. He had a strange look in his eye as he regarded me. I frowned back at him; bewildered. A teacher appeared. "No blocking the corridors, keep moving." I started heading back toward the sixth form area. I'd already put the incident behind me. However i was surprised that he walked alongside me. My first assumption was that he wanted to get even, and that i was going to be in a fight. I could feel the adrenaline begin to pump in preparation for the fight. I was angry with myself, I hated to be in fights, i didn't like nor want to hurt anyone. I didn't want confrontation. He simply walked alongside me, through my hair i could see he was watching me out of the corner of his eye. I was getting really nervous now, and stressed. Why was he watching me like that? I quickened my stride hoping to put some distance between us. He vanished out of my vision, and students filled the space between us. I sighed in relief.
I spent lunchtime talking with my friends. I'd decided that i didn't like the guy. I told them what happened and we discussed what we knew about him. I found out his name was Oscar, and he fitted in well with the charva's. I sighed at this news, it meant that if it did come to a fight, it wouldn't be a fair fight. I fell into silence after a while. I was sad. I didn't like making enemies. I had enough problems as it was in my personal life without having pressure put onto my social one. I won't go into detail about my problems, save to say i have many, and they weigh my soul down a lot. I had one main problem though. Due to the multitude of problems my family had to sacrifice a few things. One of them was my well being. I was neglected and alone. I felt so alone, so unwanted and unloved. My friends helped me, but they wern't enough of a substitute for being loved. so where most people fantasised about fucking or dating, or cars. I imagined about the people i fancied, them holding me, telling me how much they love me, then usually it got hot and heavy from then on in. I'm one of those people who seems to be able to think about a myriad of things all at once. Pretty much every scenario you could get played in my mind, without concious thought even, I thought about dark things, about maybe a grandad dying and the inheritance money solving all my family's financial issues. I learned long ago that such thoughts werent really normal. But it was simply me. Now i never had any impulse nor urge to act on half the things i thought about, but i felt guilty about simply thinking about them. I'd read the twilight books, and i feared telepaths. I would be condemned by my thoughts alone. To me, my mind is my last bastion of sanctuary. I can been abused in body, but no one can abuse my mind. In my mind, i am free.
I met him the second time walking out of the school. He suddenly appeared at my side. This time however he seemed jovial.
"hey, sorry about earlier. I'm Oscar." . I turned to look at him, surprised at is civility. I began to second guess my first assessment of him.
"Harker." It's my surname, but with so many 'Adam's' at our school it was common for us to adopt our surnames as our normal names. He said nothing more. We walked in silence as we headed towards the buses. I sighed again. I didn't want to go home, i didn't want to go back and have to struggle on at home with all the problems that burdened me, yet i had not caused. I didn't want to be alone, and be reminded that it didn't matter if i exsisted. Suddenly, i felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me. It was a bizarre contradiction of thoughts that entered my mind when that happened. A big part of me wanted to embrace the hug, and take comfort in it. But there was bigger allaince of fear and self defense which made me duck under and turn to see who it was. I expected it to be Jess. She was the huggy one of our group. So i was surprised to see Oscar standing there, a look of confusion and hurt on his face. I felt instantly guilty and the a piece of dirt. It was evident that he meant no harm to me. "Sorry." i said apologetically. He nodded. We stood there for a moment. doing nothing. Then a teacher who knew me urged me on the buses which were about to leave and i ran to catch it.
That afternoon and well into the night he was all i could think about. It was so strange. He was so strange. i knew i felt totally confused. I had a big war inside myself, trying to figure out what had happened today. A part of me hoped it meant he liked me, whilst another feared it was a trap, a joke, or worse, he truly did like me and would hurt me. As the war waged on inside me, i watched scenarios in my head of each thing. I watched him pledge undying love for me, then wind up leaving me or betraying me. Or i admit i wanted him, and he went around school telling everyone, mocking me. Both would eviscerate me emotionally. It was quite ironic, being so damaged i was emotionally unstable, yet i couldnt help but so easily make emotional attachements to people. This normally led to be getting gutted in some way or another, and so to protect myself, i distanced myself from people. My friends knew me well enough to know i was about the most caring and loving person you could get, and knew about my vulnerability. I hated myself for it though, it was my greatest weakness. I was so conflicted with myself it was quite amusing. The war continued over the next few days. I didn't see him again which was helpful and unhelpful. I just wanted him to want me,but in reality i would never get that, so id settle for him to tell me he hated me. At least that way i wouldnt hope and get crushed later. It struck me as quite impressive at how truly self destuctive i was.
It was the next Friday i saw him again. I still wasnt anywhere in my internal war, and i felt very aware of him. He was on the same bus i took to get home. Even with the looming empty building and afternoon i would be forced to endure yet again i couldnt help but think only of him. With his totally amazing body and handsome face right there, i couldnt help but fantasise about being with him and hoping, praying that by some miracle, he would want me. I tried to internally kick myself. I shouldn't be so needy! But i couldn't change who i was. Id tried all my life to just accept, and be happy with what little i had. with materialism, my friends and everything else, i was. However there was that one thing i couldnt just be satisfied with, i couldnt be without. It felt like i was incomplete. Like a piece of my soul was missing. I tore my gaze away from his face, which i'd been gazing at in the reflection in the window. It was already my stop i realised. I jumped up and bolted off of the bus. Then i kept my gaze ahead of me. Here, you had to act like you wernt afraid of anything or anyone. Otherwise the local charva's, who hung out at the bus stop, would give you hassle. I walked down a couple of streets and opened the front door. It wasn't locked as usual, we had nothing really worth stealing.
In few hours i was already crawling up the walls. My head was tearing itself apart with being so alone. No one was on MSN, my only lifeline to my social life. I live in the middle of nowhere, and no where near any of my friends. It was one of those places the government puts the lowest of the low, separate form the rest of the population so we couldn't infect them. It was hell. I hated my life, i had nothing, i had no one (well i had my friends, but it didnt fulfill any of my love needs) and if u hate your life for any length of time you begin to hate yourself. And i did. I couldn't see anything good about myself. I wanted to be anyone, anyone else. I would trade my morality, my loving heart, the depth of my soul to be one of those people i judged so harshly, so long as it meant i had someone who loved me. This hatred filled me on nights such as this, and consumed me. At first i had cried, when everything went wrong, but it had been years since id cried last, Id simply ran out of tears.
I was lying on the couch, wondering why my life was so wrong when there was a knock on the door. I contemplated ignoring it, it would most likely be some charity or religous group. I had long ago abandoned faith, as i felt faith had abandoned me. Still, even the smallest amount of company would be nice. So i stood and went to the door. Opening it, I froze. I think i stopped breathing, sure id snapped and was hallucinating. Oscar stood there. Then my brain kicked in. "eerr Hi."
"hi." he said with a slight laugh. My brain was still sluggish, lingering on the dark thoughts id been thinking. "err can i come in?" I frowned. Then nodded. I didn't really know why at the time. I suppose only now that it was that i was so desperate for company, i'd probablys let any stranger in.
"Sure." I stood aside, and shut the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes, which lay on top of my own at the foot of the stairs. "err forgive my asking. But, why are you here?" He flopped onto a couch and i flopped down onto the other.
"i was...." he trailed off. I frowned. I didn't understand him. He sat up, and looked at me seriously for a moment. "Can i trust you?" The question took me by surprise. I thought about it a moment, wondering what this was all about. However i decided that, yes, i would hold his confidence as i would a friend or anyone else who would ask me for their trust. I nodded. He watched my face for a minute. I could tell he was preparing himself for something, something big. But i couldnt even begin to think why he was trusting me. I mean, he didn't even know me. "But i do."
"What?" i blinked, i must've been so wrapped up in my own thoughts i didn't hear him fully or correctly. He laughed.
"Yes sometimes you do do that, but you heard me correctly. You really do doubt yourself too much". I frowned, confused. It was quite funny i didn't guess it then. I presumed that he was playing a trick on me, a mind game of some sort, like darren brown. "nope." I shook my head. It couldn't be... I could feel panic and fear rise in my chest. It felt like a pressure on my heart. My brain knew the answer. But was rejecting it, because it refused to accept what it meant. "I'm telepathic." Oscar said. It being said out loud like that, a statement, a fact. It brought down the denial i was trying to build up around me. The panic crashed down and suffocated me. I couldn't breathe. I felt, totally exposed. Totally vulnerable. How dare he? My mind was mine! he had no right!. All the things i thought. I felt violated. I felt strangle betrayed, by myself for some reason. I felt the overpowering urge, the want for a hug. And he did. I froze. I shut down, as i do when its too much for me to process. The implications would be enough to give me a miagraine. It was too much. I didn't move, didn't breathe. Trying to figure out what it was i should do. Push him off or hold him back. I was frozen in that state.
He pulled his head away from me, my eyes went to his of their own accord. He put his hand on my chest, right where the pressure crushed my heart. I was shaking i realised. He smiled encouragingly at me. "I know you, I know your mind... And i want to make you happy. You have suffered so much" tears began to well up in both our eyes. For different reasons i reckoned. I coudlnt accept this. I had gone insane. He continued, his voice wavering slightly. "I've talked to the people around you, and i've been near you. I know everything about you. I know how you've been such a victim. How everythings gone so wrong for you. Yet you're so loving, and caring, and giving. You cut your own wrists to help others who take and take from you and give nothing back, you're always left with nothing. Still you make do with it. But i feel it even now, that overpowering yearn for love. For me" He stroked the side of my face, keeping a hand on my chest. The crushing threatened to squash my heart into a lifeless ball. I wanted this. I did. So why did i want to run from it? Hide. But i couldnt move. My head spun dizzy. "You're scared. Anyone who has meant anything to you has hurt you. The more you love them the more you get hurt. You want to love me totally, and if i hurt you i would hurt you totally." Tears were freely flowing down my face. It couldn't be, i thought feebly. "I promise i'll never hurt you. I promise to love you, with all my heart and soul." I burst into tears.
I'm not sure how long the sobbing wracked my body. I wasn't even aware of why i was crying. But i could feel something begin. Something i couldn't hold back. The room began to darken, i was going to cry myself asleep. That last thought i had was a realisation. I loved Oscar, just because he was he, and he offered to love me back.
I woke up lying down. I was too comfortable, i thought. Opening my eyes, which burned, i recognised my bedroom. I was lying on my bed, i mused idly. Then, like a bucket of cold water falling on me i awoke with a start. I made to sit up, but a pair of arms gently restrained me, and held me in place. "relax." A cooing, soft voice said. It was Oscar. But that meant everything had happened, it wasn't a dream. Which meant. I sat up, breaking the hold on me. I felt confused. I felt love for Oscar, but a fear i couldn't even begin to describe as i recalled his power. "No, no, no" Oscar said, in an attempt to soothe me.
"you read my mind!?" I all but yelled. Oscar grabbed my arms and held them down by my sides.
"Yes. I can't help it. I was born with it. But please trust me, I know everything about you; and i still love you." he laughed "i love you for it. For how you think." I shook my head.
"i'm so confused. I don't know what to think..." I trailed off. I stopped shaking my head and my eyes settled on his lips. They were a beautiful shade of pinky-red. They looked soft. And for a moment all i wanted was for him to kiss me. So he did. At first i was rigid, still trying to process what was happening, but as instict took over, and by instinct i mean hormones, my brain stopped caring. His jaw grounded, softly but firmly against mine, his toungue entered my mouth, massaging my own. His hot breath blew into me like an intoxicating drug. I loved his taste.As we kissed heat flushed down my body, and suddenly the clothes i was wearing were too hot, and i felt my cock stiffen in my jeans. As it grew i felt it meet Oscar's own growing prick. They slid along each other welcomingly. I knew it then more then anyhing else i wanted him to fuck me. I felt his horniness grow to match my own, and as we kissed. Breathless now, his hands tore open the shirt i was wearing. Buttons scattered into the air, and my shirt fell open; exposing my chest to Oscars feverish hands, which quickly groped my skin roughly, but not painfully. Unable to control myself i went straight for his dick, and played with it through his jeans.
It felt glorious, and as hard as a branch, and about just as thick and as long as one. He pushed gently, and i went willingly onto my back. He was inbetween my legs before i knew it. He pulled his top off and casted it aside. Smiling, he leaned over me, the skin contact was bliss. His mouth enveloped mine once again and he ground his dick up against mine, and my eager backside. On the verge of cumming there and then, and not wanting to.. yet, i pushed him up. He went back easily and in a moment was lying on his back. I undid his Jeans and with his help pushed them down his legs which were finely haired. I left his white socks on, I found them strangely erotic and traced my hands over his legs. As i got to his thighs, i could feel the heat of his dick, and as i stroked his thighs his cock jumped up and down. Oscar moaned lightly. He wore black calvin klein boxers which barely contained the raging monster that i was going to unleash. As my fingers gripped the waistband i again felt the electricity of his skin. In one quick pull i pulled the boxers down to his thighs, and was met by the over powering scent and heat of his masculinity. It was huge, and had veins patterning the entire length until the end, which glistened with moisture. I would've been able to describe it in more detail, but i already had it in my mouth, Oscar gasped, and began to moan. It tasted like nothing i expected, but it tasted amazing.
As i was sucking him his hands entangled themselves in my hair. He pushed down, forcing my head to the base of him, it felt good, that he was in control, that i was sheltered in his power. I couldn't breathe, but i didn't really gag, my muscles contracted, but i was comfortable in this position, However, i was soon going to need air. I lifted my head up, his body was quivering under me. He was panting heavily and i was in ecstacy. I took a breath and went back down, allowing the muscles in my throat to do their work on him. after a few moments he began to moan loudly. "i'm gonna-" He didn't get a chance to finish, but i took the hint, i rose my head up to give his dick space to fill my mouth. I didn't want to lose a drop of his essence. With a final loud moan of pleasure he shot his load into my mouth. I felt the hot bitter-sweet ropes of his cum lash my my toungue. I swallowed greedily. More and more cum came, and i could've happily drown in it. I swallowed it all and savoured its taste. His taste. I sucked on him a few more times to make sure i got it all before sitting up. He smiled at me, and sat up.
He kissed me again with lustful passion. I closed my eyes and felt his lips leave my own. He kissed a path down my front, as his hands slid my jeans and briefs off me at the same time. He pulled away for a moment to get the remaining clothes off me, except my socks. He kissed his way up my legs, and masterfully swallowed my decent sized cock. I gasped aloud and i was the one moaning now. I fell back and it was my turn to have my fingers stroking through his hair. He tantalised my dick, tracing out patterens with his tongue. My body if it really could, got even hotter. It was like being ablaze, and not being burned. It was perfect. It wasn't very long before my body spasmed, and i blew like a fire hydrant. He, like i, swallowed the essence offered. After he made sure i was tapped he climbed up my body, as he did so his hard prick dragged along over my own cock, and onto my stomach. He wanted another round, and i was only to happy to give. He again took up my breath into his mouth as our tongues massaged each other, and we swaped what cum remained in our mouths, cleaning each other out.
He then climbed up me further and his dick bounced against my chest, then my lips, which parted without urging and i began to suckle on it again. After a minute he pulled away. I frowned at him, but he smiled. "I thought you wanted me to fuck you." he winked. I grinned in return. With his cock covered in a nice coating of my saliva, he was ready to enter me. He gently rolled me over. "This is gonna hurt." he said. I nodded. I was accustomed to pain though, and i wanted him to be in me. "Okay." he said. He held my cheeks apart, and i felt the head of his dick poke at my awaiting hole."Hold your breath and push against me" He advised. I took a deep breath. I was ready. He speared me. Pain flared up and i gasped out in pain. My body naturally pushed away form the intrusion, but remembering what Oscar had said to me i pushed out, into him. Skewering myself onto him. I didn't breath, and within moments he was hilted into me. "You did great" he said into my neck, which tickled. It felt nice, and distracted me from the pain. He heard my thoughts, and so began to kiss, and suck, and bite into my neck. Leaving a hickey; leaving his mark upon my skin. I felt branded, like i belonged, and it felt wonderful. The pain flared down, and Oscar began to pull out. And slowly pushed the inches in, cenitmetre, by centimetre. It hurt, but it felt so right, so good as well. With him in me, connected, it felt like we were one. He growled gently into my ear. "I love you." he said, kissing my neck again. "Will you be mine forever?" he asked me. He pulled out slowly again. "I am yours, so long as you want me." i answered. He lowered himself onto me, his front rested against my back. His cock filling me again.
I could feel the muscles in his torso, his stomach, as he lay on me. "I want to fuck you as hard and as fast as i can. could you take it?" The pain hadn't fully subsided, but i could feel the pleasure of it begin. "Fuck me as hard and as fast and as deep as you can" i panted. He pulled out, and slammed into me. The sound of skin on skin filled the air. He did exactly as i asked. I could feel the power behind each thrust. Each one shook me, shook the bed. Which banged loudly against the wall. The pleasure of it all pulsated, and i could feel a glow in me. He hit my prostate and the pleasure peaked, but it was all pleasure really. We were both panting, and sweat caked both bour bodies. I was moaning and he was grunting. He murmured my name. Slamming into me, riding me like the stallion he was. I simply lay there and took it. I was in heaven. I loved him, and he loved me. Emotionally, spiritually, and now physically. He fucked me. Oh how he fucked me. It was better then anything i had ever fantasised about, ever dreamt of. I don't know if it really lasted as long as it felt like it lasted. But eventually, Oscar, with a roar of a lion, released his seed into me. I could feel it fill me even more. It pushed me to another climax also and i felt the cum spread out onto my bed.
He was still panting but he flopped down onto me. He grabbed my hands, intertwining our fingers, and held me tight. I could feel him soften inside me, but he did not pull out. He kissed my neck. "I don't want to be out of you. I want to stay in you forever". He already knew i felt the same way. But we both knew it wasn't possible, we'd have to settle for fucking whenever we could. "I know". He sighed. He rolled onto his side and pulled the blankets over me and himself. He put one of his legs between mine, and wrapped an arm around my chest. His breath blew across my neck and his body pressed up against mine. "I love you." I said. It said everything for me. "I love you" he said back. And we slept together in that position, and for the first time in my life, I loved my life, and loved who i was. And loved Oscar... and was loved in return.