Read if you meet these two prerequisites. 1. You want to read it. 2. You are legally allowed to. (remembering somethings only illegal if you get caught! ;) ) Please continue to give me feedback. I want to write things ppl enjoy. Would love to hear your ideas. For people who care more about the hot and heavy stuff you'll find it at the last few paragraphs. Cheers!
From that first night we were together, i was totally unable to do anything but love him heart and soul. I would do whatever he'd ask of me. However there was a problem. My lifetime of insecurity and the dark past still bore down upon me, and it wasn't healing overnight. When i was with Oscar, he made me happier then i could ever have dreamt possible, but when we were apart i quickly reverted back into being a empty shell. I tried my best not to; but still it happened. We were both painfully aware that i was becoming dangerously close to being almost completely, from just far too dependant on him. Still, he stayed by me, and i couldn't believe how lucky i really was. When i was with him, all the problems in the world, that usually dragged me down like Lead slabs, simply seemed to dissolve into nothingness. He truly was everything to me. However my self destructive tendancies began to kick in, and i began to worry why he stayed with me, when i so obviously gave him nothing, when he gave me everything. Of course he knew this, and time and time again he assuaged my fears, and while i was with him, they too vanished, but quickly returned after he went away for a while. I began to realise as the months went by, just how damaged i really was, and i felt so pathetic.
It was in the midst of this i encountered Oscar's cousin for the first time. Or, at least, that was who he had claimed to be... I had learned from Oscar that he had some family. He lived alone however, and asked me not to ask him what had happened to his parents. He was wealthy and so easily could afford to live alone, and had been emancipated by the courts. I had talked with him whenever i could, and i knew he was hiding something from me. I didn't really mind though. He was entitled to his privacy, which was ironic considering he could not give me my own. I still had problems that he knew every thought i had. But after a while i felt safe with him. I felt sure he would never betray me, nor judge me on what i thought. I had been waiting at the front window from him to pick me up to go to school, and it was what set off the beginnings of events that would tear me and Oscar apart.
His car pulled up. Then a car veered from the other side of the road; straight into the side where Oscar had sat. My heart went cold, and i could feel the blood drain from my face. I had moved without concious thought, and before i was aware of it i was outside, running to his car. The scene before me was one of my nightmares. The car had been dented to the point that the metal actually was concave, and alot of metal was sheered off, and lay across the street. The other car had vanished, hadn't even slowed down. I couldn't care about that at the moment thought; i had to make sure Oscar was all right. I opened the passenger side door and ducked into the car. There was blood. A lot of blood. Oscar hung there; kept upright by his seatbelt.
"Oscar!" Even in my panicked state i could see his chest rise and fall, so at least he was breathing. I had the footfalls of someone running towards us.
"I saw what happened. I've phoned for an ambulance." A woman's voice said. I nodded. It was strange. I didn't know what to do. All i could remember was to make sure i didnt move him. It was all that i could do to talk to him until the ambulance arrived. I couldn't even tell if he could hear me. I was pushed aside and i stood there on the pavement, lost and helpless. The woman put a hand on my shoulder and said words which fell on deaf ears. I kept replaying what had just happened in my head; over and over again I stood there in a daze as they packed up the core of my heart onto a stretcher and took him into the ambulance. I tried to follow, but a man held out a hand. "Only family allowed." I frowned. How did he know we weren't related. I would've stood there and argued, but Oscar's safety was my top priority. I stood aside. I watched the doors shut and the ambulance speed off, before falling to my knees and submerging into the tears i'd held back ever since the accident.
It was a while till i picked myself up from the floor. Ignoring the clean-up crews swamping the scene i walked back into the house. I began to phone whoever i could think of, anyone who might know which hospital Oscar had been taking to. After a while i could feel the panic rise in my chest. I went into the phone book and dug out all the local hospital numbers. Each one reported that there was no Oscar Bates registered in. It was after that that i truly began to lose it. I all but screamed at the woman on the phone; who subsequently hung up on me. I couldn't think of what else to do, who to turn to. My family would not, if could not, help me. My friends would all be at school. I wracked my mind, trying to think of an answer. After a while i could feel a headache began to build, and still no foreseable answer. After a couple more hours i had a full blown headache. I took some painkillers and waited for them to kick in. The hospitals still reported no Oscar Bates. I threw the phone against the wall, which broke on impact. The front door opened.
I froze for a moment before running to the front door. Half expecting, half hoping to see Oscar standing there, maybe with a small bandage telling me with a smile that there wasn't any real damage and nothing to worry about. both halves were wrong. There was a teenager there, roughly my age. He was attractive, and very muscled. They bulged underneath the tight top he wore. He also wore tight jeans, which bulged slightly at the crotch. Before Oscar, i would've wanted this man more then anything. But I only ever wanted Oscar now. He watched me taking him in, with a slight smile. A feeling of defensiveness rose in me, and i felt prepared for a fight. I suppose i could get kinda territorial. The guy must've sensed the tension emanating from me, as he held up his hands in a 'non-combatant' kind of gesture. I frowned.
"Who are you? Why are you here?" i asked, with the tension evident even in my voice.
"Oscar asked me to come. I'm Matthew." He said in a cool voice. He had slightly blond hair which swayed slightly as he offered a hand to me. I took it.
"where is Oscar? is he alright?" I asked, the defensiveness fading and the anticipation rising again.
"He's fine. He entered the hospital under a false name, it's why u havent been able to get ahold of him." I nodded slowly. Why would he need a false name? Matthew walked into the living room, and i followed. We sat on different couches and he watched me as he spoke. "we need to talk." I didn't really respond. Something wierd was up and i didn't like not knowing what was going on. After a moment i nodded for him to continue. "First, I am Oscar's cousin, and like Oscar i can read minds too." I nodded. I'd learned through my experiences with Oscar not to be afraid of people knowing my mind, and if he was anything like Oscar, he would respect my mind for what it was. Matthew sighed. "you really love him, like he said. That's gonna make this so much harder." My heart went into overdrive.
"What? what do you mean?" I asked. Already the tendrils of doubt inclinded me to think the worst. I can feel it like a gun to my chest, awaiting the trigger to be fully squeezed. Matthew smiled sadly at me.
"Oscar knows you love him, and that you mean everything to him. So he could never talk to you, but i'm here to tell you that he doesn't love you. He doesn't even want to be with you. He would never tell you this because he doesn't want to hurt you so badly. But it isn't fair on him, so i'm telling you on his behalf." The gun went off. I could feel the pain shoot through me. It was true. It sounded like Oscar perfectly. I didn't even try to deny it, it just was. I would've cried, screamed, done something big and childish, but i couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I simply sat there, swaying slightly, as it sank in. "Adam?" Matthew rose and in a flash was sitting beside me. "Adam. Breathe." i didn't respond. I could hear the words; but they meant nothing to me. Nothing mattered anymore. It was with a regrettable gasp that my lungs forced me to breathe, overriding the commands my brain gave them. "Adam; please. Oscar is going to see all of this when i see him. When he sees..." he trailed off, and put a hand on my face, cupping my cheek. "I can see how devastated you are, which pains me because i have to ask more of you." I simply sat there, like a robot that was just robbed of it's primary function and merely awaiting a command to follow; or to sit there and shut down. "He will come to you. He feels so duty bound that he would sacrifice his own chance for happiness to try and make you happy. He would stay." I shook my head slowly. Some flicker of importance flared up. Oscar. The centre of my everything. He had to be protected; even if it was from me. Matthew nodded solemnly. "I've set up a bank account with enough money for you to start a new life anywhere. I've already paid your parents and bought their silence. So i'm asking you, to go. Go somewhere and try and live a new life, a new start. Somewhere where Oscar won't find you and be bound by moral duty. Give him a chance for the sort of happiness he's given you." I swallowed. Processing this i found that everything that was me, now didnt want me even remotely. I knew my parents were bad, but i had thought they cared. Evidently not.I nodded. My life wasn't worth anything anymore, so maybe it might be better to give a new life a try. "that's the spirit. It's all for the best." I heard the sound of a car horn. "The taxi's waiting outside; it'll take you to the airport." He handed me a card. "The pin's 0191" He pulled me to my feet and ushered me out of the door and into the taxi. "and thank you." He said, closing the taxi door behind me.
I fell asleep rather quickly in the seat. Most likely due to the weary heart that i now had to bear. My dream began as most of my dreams did. With Oscar. He held me safe in his arms. It was warm and it was secure; and i was happy. Then a new pair of arms gently pulled Oscars arms apart and picked me up. I recognised Matthews arms and i tried to fight my way out of them, and back into Oscar's. I broke free, but Oscar wasn't there anymore. I felt a hand spin me around where i stood and a pair of hard lips crushed themselves against mine. Hands tore at my shirt which ripped apart under the onslaught. I tried to push him away but he merely grabbed my arms, and pinned them against the wall, which had just appeared from the darkness. A strong leg brushed my legs apart where i stood, and Matthew ground himself into me. Despite myself i became hard. He chuckled as he continued to invade my mouth with his rough tongue.A wild urge rose in me, a carnal instinct the called for me to give in to this rape. But my heart screamed out against it. I loved Oscar and to submit would be a betrayal against that love i had. Even if he did not love me. I drove a knee into Matthews crotch, and he fell back. I could see now the all too tight jeans were stretched to their limit. His monster was even bigger then Oscar's, and it wanted to claim me, against my will. As i watched in horror it burst through the material and hung there pointing at its target. At me. His muscles throbbed under his shirt, which he now tore off with a single hand. I turned and ran.
He chased me down like a hunter chasing down it's prey. A hand fastened itself on the waistband of my jeans and i fell to the floor. Not willing to give up i lashed out blindly with my foot, and was greeted with his chest. He went over but kept a hold of me. I was dragged through the air and fell on him. I tried to get up but with a strong arm he held me to him. His other hand quickly pushed my jeans down and he used his legs to get them the rest of the way off. I did the only thing i could think of, and bit down as hard as i could. He merely laughed though and pulled down the back of my briefs, exposing the mark he was aiming for. I tried to scratch his eyes out but he caught my arms. he wrapped his legs around mine. I was pinned, unable to move out of his vice like grip.
"Look at me." he said with a smile. I had no choice but to obey. I looked into his lecherous eyes. Saw in them the turn on he got at my violation. I felt hatred burst into life in my chest. If it was i could do i did it. I spat at his face. He eagerly opened his mouth and swallowed it. I shuddered in revulsion. He moved my face closer to his. He transferred one hand to my face, forcing my jaw open. He gathered up some spit and shot it up. He forced my jaw shut around it and i get taste the evil in his saliva. I swallowed it, unable to spit it out due to his hand. It seemed to burn down my throat and the fire of it spread around my body. He then crushed our mouths together again, i could feel another source of heat near my entrance. I bit his lip and he pushed me up, reclaimed the hand he'd given to his other. He then pushed my arms. The position of it caused my body to go down too. I realised with horror that he was forcing me to impale myself onto him. Pain cascaded up me in torrents as he began to enter me. The bastard took his time; making me feel each moment as much as he could. He was so big, and i so tight, that i could feel the veins on his veiny cock. I could feel the blood flow in them pulsate as i sank further and further onto him. I cried out in pain, unable to contain it in me. He leant me forward and swallowed my screams in his mouth. After a time that seemed like an eternity i was sitting upright, firmly skwered. I could feel his dick throb in me.
His hands trailed over my body. I couldn't reach him barely with my arms i realised. "You're so tight." he said. His hands finally got to my thighs and he held them. "so fucking tight" lifted me with ease, to almost halfway up his long pole. "You're perfect." He said with a grin and slammed me down onto him. I landed with a pained grunt. He then used me as a toy to get himself off. After a while, as the pain waned, the pleasure began to seep in. I felt so confused. This was wrong this wasn't me. This wasn't real. I needed to get up, I loved Oscar. Oscar... A hand came to a stop before me eyes. I recongised it at once, the familiar lines on it. I smiled and took the hand and felt myself rise up, out of the body. I looked back at my body which Matthew continued to pummel at. I could see a bump in the skin on my own body rise up and down, and with a gasp realised that it was the end on Matthews cock. Arms enclosed around me.
"this isn't real." Oscar said to me.
"Oscar..." I trailed off. I felt tainted. like something had been taken from me. Oscar lips found mine. "Fear not adam. You've not betrayed me even now. I love you."
"I love you." I said with as much love as i could put into those words. Then i felt myself sink. I looked at Oscar's beautiful face. He was drifting down with me. I sank into my body, and i watched as Oscar sank into Matthew's. The rape hadn't been a rape. I realised. It had been Oscar all along. I smiled, it gave me pleasure to know that.
"Are you ready?" Matthew asked, in a gentle voice now. I smiled back and nodded.
"Let's see what your capable of" i challenged. Matthew grinned and resumed the fuck. This time though i was bouncing up and down as well. The pain was nothing now and there was only rapture. Matthew growled with a animalistic mating call. I was breathless, but could feel the light headness begin and pleasure beyond what was earthly possible filled me. Time became meaningless and all there was in the world was pleasure, and Oscar, in whatever form he chose. Finally with a bellow of release he filled the few remaining spaces in me and then his seed began to climb, until it reached my mouth. I could taste it and it tasted excellent. I swallowed it back down and felt another wave of ecstasy flow through me. I fell forward and rested on Matthew's heaving chest. I sighed contendly and closed my eyes.
"you know i love you. Don't you?" Matthew said. I nodded. It was true, i'd known it all along really. "then why are you leaving?" He asked.
"because i'm not enough. im not enough for you. You have no reason to want me. You deserve someone better." He held me tightly and rocked me gently.
"I would tell you all the reasons right now, but are shortly going to wake up. So when you come back to me, I will list all the reasons why i love you. But please don't leave." He raised my face to his and kissed me tenderly. "I need you so much more then you realise. More so then you need me." I opened my eyes to see Oscar's face. His eyes brimming with tears. "come back to me." I blinked. I was in the Taxi.
"We're here." the driver said.I shivered myself awake and shook my head.
"No." I said. New reckoning dawning on me. "I have to go back".