As I put on the finishing touches of my makeup, I looked at the mirror. I wanted to look perfect for him, the man who was now my husband and the father of the my children. Technically they were not my children as I was not biologically capable of having them, but I did love and take care of them for the past two years as like any mother would. I looked at the watch and it was already past midnight, so he would be back anytime from his friend's place, possibly already drunk. I just hoped that he was not too drunk to notice the effort that i have put on my makeup. I looked out the window, into the night sky as I sat on the bed, wondering about him and my life now. It was not easy taking care of two children and his mother, looking after the house cooking and cleaning as his mother instructed. This is not the life I had ever imagined, but now it was my reality. As I waited for him sitting on the bed wearing the gift that he had bought for me.
You see I had just turned eighteen today and this was my birthday gift from him, I was not expecting it, and to be frank I did not expect him to remember my birthday even. He had always insisted that my birthday was when I first dressed up for him. Yes I did remember that night clearly, I felt a knot in my stomach as I thought about that night.
I remember getting dressed up that night with the help of Maisha, who effectively became a mother to me later on and the one who gave me away to him during my wedding.I have never thought about dressing up before, how could I, after all I was born a boy and that is not something boys did. But things had changed for me when I met him.
You see I had run away from home and found myself in a city I knew nothing about. I was actually feeling homesick right after I had gotten of the bus in the city. It was dark outside and to be frank with you I was scared. I was looking for a way back home to the city I knew, but I was informed at the bus station that no busses would be leaving tonight anymore.I was distraught and did not know what to do, but then I thought about trying my luck with the trains but I did not know where the train station was. That is when I met him, the man who would change me forever.
He had told me a few days later, as I was laying beside him, that he knew when he saw me. He knew what I was, and what I was made for. As I lay there beside him in his arms, the sari I wore for him strewn across the foot of the bed, his marks on my young body, there was no denying that he was right. The little fight that I put up to him that night had melted away, even though when I was getting dressed, it was to be just a little exhibition for him, as he had insisted that I would look beautiful dressed as a girl. I was to just spend a hour dressed up with him and then I would be staying the night with Maisha. I smiled now thinking how naive I was, that I would think that, or maybe deep down I wanted him but was too afraid to admit it.
I remembered walking into that room with him sitting on the bed, dressed in a red silk sari with makeup, with Maisha leading me into the bedroom. It felt forbidden, exciting and strange. Before coming out I had looked at the mirror and I as I looked at the mirror, I could hardly recognize myself, I did look like a young girl, gone were the image of a boy. I felt trepidation as I walked into the room where he waited for me and found myself wondering what he would think. His reaction to seeing me was something I really did not expect, he stood up and was watching me intently and telling me how he had been proven right and that I was a beautiful girl. I felt a sense of relief and as he held my hand and took me to the bed making me sit beside him, I sat beside him my eyes downcast somewhat embarrassed to look up at him. He laughed at my shyness, as he held my chin turning my head towards him, his face so close to mine.
My train of thought was broken as I was bought back to reality by the sound of thunder and the sudden flow of cold air through the open window. I quickly went to the window trying to close them, I had pulled the drapes but had kept the window open. I thought about the children's room trying to think if I had closed their windows or not, I needed to check and little nail did not like the sound of thunder. I put on my robe and made my way to the children's room, to check on them. I slowly opened the door and and saw them sleeping with their grandmother. The children preferred to sleep with me always, and I also liked it that way but tonight was different and Ammi (my mother-in-law) had agreed to keep them. She was a stern woman and had taught me to cook and clean as it is expected of any wife. My days now passed taking care of the four of them, and she had always kept me in my toes.
"Is he not back yet" I was startled by ammi's voice, she was actually awake. I meekly replied "No". As she turned away from me trying to go back to sleep. "Do check if all the windows are closed" I went around the house checking all the windows, it was a modest house with only three rooms and a kitchen, two sleeping rooms and one dining plus family room which had the family tv. I wondered when he will be back, knowing more late he is back more drunk he will be. I wished he did not stay out late, but it was not my place to tell him what to do. As I closed the window in the kitchen, I thought how I missed him and wanted him to be back and take me to bed.
As I went back to our room, I thought about how it was not like this at the beginning. The years had changed me, I now looked forward to him taking me, feeling him inside me. At first I did try to resist, as there were always conflicting emotions, the feeling of guilt. The first night I met him, a man in his fifties who was close to the age of my father, things were pretty normal or they seemed normal to me. Here was a kind older gentleman offering his help to a boy who was lost. He didn't ask any questions, he had told me that the trains would not start before early morning. I was at a loss, horrified now at the prospect of spending the night alone. I had never done that before, why didn't I think of it when I ran from home I had thought myself. That is when he offered to give me company and said that it was pointless waiting here all night. He had offered me dinner, I did not think twice before agreeing. Thankful that he was with me. We made small talk while at dinner, but he avoided asking any probing questions, just asked me if I liked movies, like any other I told him I did. He then offered to take me to the movies after dinner. I did not realize it then but now I knew that was my first date.
After the movies he had taken me to a place to spend the night, it was a room full of men who were working at a local construction project, they were all sleeping when we arrived, as the movie ran till midnight. As I lay beside him in a small bed in that big room filled with single beds for each men. That is when I first felt the touch of a man, felt his hands on me. The thing is when he first touched me, those moments I was in ecstasy and it did not take me long before I had an orgasm from his touch. But once I did, it seemed a switch had turned off inside me, and didn't want to feel his touch anymore. I had told Maisha everything that had happened leaving out the portion of my orgasm as I was too ashamed to repeat it, but it seemed she already guessed. As she put the finishing touches on me she told me that it was okay, it was normal, I was just confused as this was new to me. That I would feel different dressed up as a girl, as I was a girl inside. I didn't know what she meant then but I did find out a few hours later.
As i reminisced about my first nights with him, I could hear the rain falling outside. As I sat on the bed thinking about those nights in Maisha's house. That first night going to him dressed as a girl was what I felt made it easier, for me to accept when he kissed me. My first kiss was with a man and not with a girl as I had thought it would be. I felt his hands cupping my cheeks as he turned my face towards him, telling me how beautiful I was as i felt his lips on me. I was frozen feeling his lips, I could feel his tounge probing my lips, his unshaven face rubbed against my soft skin. My lips parted by his probing tongue as I surrendered to his kiss. Once he broke the kiss i found myself catching my breath, my mind swirling with emotions. I felt his hands on my waist as he pulled me close to him, i rested my head on his chest, not knowing what to do or what to expect next.
As I thought about my first kiss, i saw his shirt laying on the chair by the bed, I was so busy getting myself ready that I had not noticed it and kept it away in the closet. I got up quickly and picked it up, maybe it was the memory of the first kiss, i held his shirt close to my face trying to smell him. His strong masculine smell filled up my senses, a smell that now comforted and aroused my senses. Things were though different at the beginning, I did not feel comfortable sleeping with him, his smell his hands on me all felt a bit too overwhelming for me. That first night after he kissed me, i found myself surrendering to his kisses, it seemed his lips were all over me, I writhed in bed in agony and ecstasy, my head spinning my young body hearing for more.
As the memories of that night flooded me, i felt my toes curl my hands touched my breasts the sheer material of my nightie rubbing against my nipples, my breathing became shallow. I tried controlling myself, as I looked at the watch, he was already past his usual time of return. I thought about how long will he be gone.
I seldom thought past the kiss of what happened that first night, it had taken me a while to come to terms with. That night and the nights after was filled with both of my awakening and my realization of what it takes to satisfy a man in bed. What it feels like to be used by man, and to be taken by a man. That feeling of pain mixed with pleasure, that sense of guilt and longing for more. At the same time dreading bed time and also looking forward to it. Those conflicts of emotions of trying to loose myself and becoming something completely different. As those thoughts crossed my mind I heard the main door open.
I heard him coming to the room, I quickly got up and stood by the bed opening my robe, waiting for him to come through the door. As he entered the room I nervously waited, thinking if he would like what he saw, how drunk will he be too even notice. He walked in, and stood by the door seeing me standing by the bed. He was completely wet from the rain his clothes drenched, I quickly walked towards him exclaiming at him "You are completely wet" he just sheepishly smiled and told me to get a towel. I did as I was told.
As he dried himself he looked at me probably noticing me for the first time, "where are the kids" he enquired, "they are sleeping with ammi tonight" i told him. He dropped the towel and grabbed me pulling me close to him "You are going to get me all wet" i tried to complain but he was having none of it, he pressed me towards his body grabbing my pantied bottom as he kissed me. I forgot about his wet clothes as i felt his tongue probe deep into my mouth. His breath stank of alcohol and cigarettes, he used to let me have those before we were married but now I was not allowed. He broke of the kiss and then took a step back looking at me, indicating me to make a twirl for him, which I did. He nodded his approval.
"Will you want something to eat" I asked him, he nodded that he will after he has had his shower. As he went to the bathroom for his shower I quickly went to the kitchen and started to heat the dinner for him. I laid out plate for him in the living room and bought the food from the kitchen. As he walked into the living room, he was just in his lungi (a traditional male clothe) and the towel over his shoulders. As he sat down he devilishly whispered why did I put the robe back on. I didn't say anything just smiled as I stood by him like always as he ate his dinner. " you were asking me about contacting your parents" he said. I almost froze, as he mentioned my parents. That was one thing we did not discuss much, I had very timidly broached the subject the other day telling him if it would be every possible for me to contact my parents again. The conversation had not gone anywhere as he did not say anything in return. "You can try and contact them, but they have to accept you as you are now" he said, I knew my opinion was not sought and so I did not offer any as it was his way of telling me how things will be. I might have to go to your city in a couple of weeks and if you want you can send them a letter and also send them a picture of you, so they know about your life. I took a deep breath as I heard that. Thinking what my parents would think if they saw me now. Yes I did miss my parents, and a part of me missed my old life, but this was my reality now, he suddenly spoke again "So you will do as I said" and again it was not really a question but I still nodded and said "yes I will do as you have said"
He continued eating as my thoughts wandered to my parents and thought about their reaction, my thoughts were broken as i felt his hands rubbing my thighs "You been waiting long for me" he asked me to which i replied yes. His hands slid up my thighs as he caressed my bottom again, "you are looking very beautiful tonight" I heard him say as i blushed at his complement feeling butterflies in my stomach. After almost four years now I still yearned for his approval every moment.
After he finished eating he told me to put everything away and come to bed quickly. As he left for the bedroom, i started to put everything away, even with the thoughts of my parents, what awaited me in the bedroom excited me. As I entered the bedroom he was laying on the bed, he had taken off everything and laying there naked. When he sleeps alone with me he always prefers to sleep naked, another thing that took a lot to get used to. I smiled at him as i took off my robe letting it drop on the floor. He gave a smile as he patted at the space in the bed beside him.
As I settled beside him, his hands holding me and my hands rested on his chest. He had so much hair on his chest, which i liked to play with. I twirled my fingers on his chest hair as i kissed him on his chest. I felt his hands on my shoulder pressing me, I knew what he desired as i slowly slid down his body. His cock was semi hard as i caressed it with my painted fingers. I kissed at its tip rubbing it over my lips, the intoxicating smell of his manliness invaded my nostrils. The first days of me learning to do this for him was not easy, the smell of it the taste of it was not easy to get used to, I hated it the first time but soon grew to love it as I saw the power and control it gave me. I now yearned to feel him in my mouth, and I did not delay now licking the tip and closing my eyes as I slid his manhood between my lips. I now loved how it grew inside my mouth, knowing that I was doing it. I slowly sucked on him and then licking the entire shaft, as I licked from the base to the tip I opened my eyes to look up at him, he was watching me like always, my eyes locked on to him as I slid him between my lips again. My fingers caressed his balls as i moved my head up and down on him, now again my eyes closed as I felt the full width and girth of his manhood in my mouth.
I heard him groan as i continued to use my mouth, his excitement encouraging and exciting me further as i felt my shrivelled slitty leak into my panties. Even when i had him in my mouth i could feel how excited I got, as a moan escaped my lips with his cock still in my mouth. I did not quicken my pace but did it slowly, like he wanted, taking my tongue to explore every inch of his cock twirling my tongue over his mushroom head. Holding the base of his cock slowly squeezing it as I kissed and licked at the tip. Moving my tongue to the base of his cock to his balls, as I stroked his cock my tongue moved around his balls licking him, his pubic hair now in my nostrils as it also scratched against my face. I did not mind as my thoughts were to please his cock with my tongue and lips.
I felt his hands on my hair lifting my head up, his way of telling me that it was time. He was quick now, as he easily placed me in my back, with him on top of me. He kissed my neck as i felt him taking off panties, his hard cock now pressed against my thighs. I whimpered at his kisses as I yearned for his cock to enter me. How different it was now, now I ached for him to fill me up and I use to dread it at the beginning. The size of him and how he stretched me there, the agony and pain I felt those nights to accommodate him in my virgin boy pussy. Those nights I could not be taken like this on my back, I used to be on my stomach. But now as I lay on my back my legs spread wide open I felt him enter me. I felt his cock slowly stretching me up and filling me as I moaned, feeling it slowly move inside me, feeling it conquer me again. He grunted as he pushed the rest of himself inside me, i whimpered and cried as i felt the sudden surge of his cock opening me up.
He was now buried deep inside me as he looked at me, smiling, "What do you want" he asked "I want you" i replied "Only you" he grinned as he asked again "What do you want bitch" with his words I knew he was in a playful mood today as i replied blushing red "I want your cock" "Fuck me please" I pleaded, despite his age he was a powerful man in bed. I knew very well as I clenched the pillows as I knew what was to come next, I felt him moving out and then with one powerful motion he thrusted into me making me squeal, the sounds of our flesh meeting echoed in the quiet room. I cried and moaned at his powerful thrust, each time his cock moving deep inside me. The bed squeaked underneath us as he moved in and out of me. I felt the familiar rush of inside me building to my own orgasm. He suddenly turned me around and I was on my stomach again, his cock still buried inside me. He continued to thrusting inside me with his weight on top of me, his lips on my neck. I held on to the bedsheets as i felt him moving in and out of me. My body shuddered as I felt my boy pussy clenching on to his hard cock and the warm liquid of his seed spurting deep inside me.
I lay there trying to catch my breath my head now buried in the pillow as I felt him on top of me his kisses on my back, he had not taken of the nightie just my panties were gone. I felt him taking his cock out as I felt him tugging on my nightie, I knew he was wiping his cock clean. I was too drained too move as I tried to regain my composure. He was now beside me as he pulled me towards me. His cum still leaking out of me as i am held by him.
I rested my head on his chest as i felt his hands holding me close. "you miss your old life" he asked, "my life is with you and the children now" i replied. "I want you to be happy with me" i added. "I am glad you did not get on the train that day" he said. Before he took me to Maisha's house he had told me that I could leave and get on the train. But then had added that I could also leave the net day and stay with his friend. I had thought about that day a lot before. What would have happened if i left. "I am glad that I didn't leave either" i said as i pressed my body against his. "If i left I would not been yours and I can't, I can't" I tried to say something as i felt his hands on my chin lifting my head up to meet his gaze. "Shhhhh, you are with me now" I nodded as he kissed me softly on the lips.
My husband was a strong and dominating man and things had to be always according to his wishes, he did not take it lightly if I faltered, and I had been punished a lot for not listening or trying to voice an opinion. But he did have a softness in him, that showed sometimes, i felt that softness as he kissed me on my lips. When he broke the kiss I told him that I needed to get ready for bed, he looked at me "Go clean yourself and come back, I am not done with you" I nodded as i made my way to the bathroom cleaning myself and retouching my makeup. It was already late, and my days always start early as I have to get the kids ready for school, but I knew I had my wifely duties to take care of too.
I cleaned myself quickly, something Maisha always insisted I do very diligently. As I was not a natural girl and yucky things happen there, I should always take extra care and try to keep always keep myself clean down there. As she used to laugh and say "You never know when you have to take him in" I had now a very good routine and also a diet to help me with that. As I cleaned up and got up, he walked into the bathroom, with a cigarette in hand, he ignored me and started to pee, I heard the rush of pee as I tired to concentrate on retouching my makeup. As he finished and walked passed me he swatted my butt "Come quickly we don't have all night"
When I walked back into the room, he was lying in bed now the cigarette still in his hand wearing nothing, he looked at me indicating me to to his feet. I got up in the bed and sat by his feet, slowly massaging his feet. I liked doing this for him, as I concentrated on what I was doing.
"What would your parents think if they saw you now" he said as he took a drag on his cigarette. I blushed keeping my head down continued to massage his feet. His words though made me think about what he had just said, my parents would be mortified seeing me like this. "I have turned their boy into my wife" he chuckled as he said.
I felt his eyes on me, but did not look up as he continued " He sat up and reached for me, pulling me close him. He had a grin on his face, his hands stroked my arms as he looked at me with that smile. "I will enjoy showing them what an obedient wife you have become" I stayed quiet as his hands moved upwards to the straps of my baby doll nightie slowly moving them as it slide past my shoulders revealing my breasts.
His hands clasped my breasts hard as he laughed "That their little boy now has breasts" I blushed red "Please don't say it like that" I pleaded, "Say what, don't you have breasts now, am I lying" he said. "No" I replied, his hands continued to feel up my breasts, as he tweaked my nipple with his fingers making me whimper "What have I done to their darling boy Rabab" i froze up being referred to as my old name, he never usually does that.
"I am Reshma now, your wife" I said with all the strength I could muster. "yes you are mine now" he said as he pushed me back to the bed, his hands taking my nipple in his mouth as his hands wondered between my legs. Squeezing my shrivelled clitty. His hands strongly held me between my legs as he took his mouth of my nipple and looked at me "I have taken your manhoods and turned you into this" he said as he squeezed hard down there making me almost groan in pain.
"You are hurting me please" I pleaded. he loosened his grip as he kissed me forcefully on the lips. His hands now moved to caress my breasts as his lips kissed my neck bitting down on my neck. I whimpered, and moaned softly underneath him, thinking of my parents and what they would think if they saw me now. But that too only for a moment, as I felt him move away from me as he lied down beside me. His hands reached for my hair holding them and guiding my head towards his manhood. I closed my eyes as I started to feel him slide between my lips and concentrated on making my husband hard so he could take me again.