TJ

TJ

Chapter 9

The EMT's stabilized Sean's right arm as best they could in a splint, then strapped him to a backboard. I couldn't stop the tears falling from my eyes. When the EMT's started wheeling Sean towards the ambulance, I tried to follow them. Coach Wilson said they wouldn't allow me to ride with him so not to even try. The whole thing took about fifteen minutes.

I turned to run to my car and ran directly into Robert. I vaguely remember hearing him tell Coach Wilson to let Kevin take Sean's truck and meet us at the hospital. He held me tight to his chest while he guided me towards the gate that led to the parking lot. I heard a car unlock and he sat me down. I wasn't paying attention and he surprised me when he asked for my keys. I blinked and looked around at my surroundings. I was sitting in the passenger seat of Robert's car.

I didn't argue or question him. I pulled my keys out and handed them to him. I heard him say, "Follow us to the hospital in Teej's car. I told Coach Wilson to let Kevin follow in Sean's truck once the game is over."

Robert was weaving through traffic, going around cars like they were standing still. He did still stop at the stoplights and stop signs. He called Mr. McNair over the Bluetooth to let him know Sean was hurt during the game and had to be taken to the ER. Mr. McNair said he would meet us at the hospital since he and Aaron had just gotten back in town. It took us about twenty minutes until we were pulling into the ER's parking lot. I figured it had been about thirty minutes since Sean had been taken off the field.

Once we got out of the car, we both ran through the ER's doors. I looked around and immediately noticed Aaron and Mr. McNair speaking to a nurse. I was about to run over to them when Mr. McNair started following the nurse through the locked doors leading into the emergency room.

Aaron turned around and noticed me. I ran up to him and I think I might have been crying because he wrapped his arms around me and said, "Hey, he's okay. He's awake. They're waiting on the X-rays to see how bad the break is. Jacob just went back to speak with the doctor. Come and sit with me while we wait."

While he was talking to me, he led me to the waiting room and sat me in a chair. He took the one next to me and Robert sat on the other side of me. A few minutes later, Josh ran through the doors looking for us, followed closely by Lori. I remembered Lori had ridden to the game with Robert. About fifteen minutes later, the waiting room suddenly flooded with visitors. The first to arrive were Jarrod, Stacey, Mike, and unfortunately, John. I pointedly ignored him. The next to arrive were all wearing cheerleading uniforms. The only ones I noticed were Jenny, Amber, and to my surprise, Rachel. I ignored her as well. The next group had Kevin, Castro, Patrick, Ethan, Mark, and Chase. The football players all looked like they had taken a shower but didn't bother fully drying off. They were followed by most of the remaining team, including Coach Wilson. The only people missing were Smith, Rogers, and a couple of their cronies.

Kevin sat next to me grinning big time. I asked why he was so happy and he said, "So, the referee called a roughing the passer penalty. That gave us fifteen yards and first down. Patrick came in and handed the ball off to Castro, who ran it in for a touchdown. We ended up winning by ten points."

He must've heard the frustration in my voice when I said, "That's great."

His smile broadened. "You haven't heard the best part yet. There wasn't a lot of partying or cheering in the locker room. Even Smith and Rogers were quiet and not making eye contact with anyone. Finally, Mark went up to them and asked Smith how the guy got past him, then turned to Rogers and asked if his cousin really had to hit Sean so hard."

I interrupted him before he continued, "What? That was Rogers' cousin?"

Mark, with Chase by his side, nodded. "Yeah, the four of us, Smith, Rogers, his cousin, and me, were on the same flag football team when we were younger. Anyways, when I asked them, they both got defensive asking me what I was implying. Before it went any further, Coach came in looking mad as hell and called them into his office."

Coach Wilson took over then. "I don't know if what happened was on purpose, or if they had planned it. All of us knew I couldn't prove anything. So, I did the only thing I could. I told them they were both benched for the rest of the season unless they could prove they knew how to be part of a team. I told them if they said anything to anyone in a negative way, they were both off the team. They were mad as hell but accepted it. They said they would prove to me they could be team players. The fact neither of them are here right now doesn't work in their favor."

Just then, Jacob McNair walked through the doors from the emergency room. He walked directly to me and let me know what happened. "Sean's arm is broken. They just finished putting it in asplint. They're taking him for an MRI now." He then started looking angry before he continued. "I swear, I could grab him and shake him right now. Sorry, I'm a little upset with my son right now. A couple of weeks ago when he was hit hard during practice, he evidently got a concussion. He didn't let anyone know he was having symptoms. He didn't want to be benched. Tonight, he got another concussion before he had time to heal from the first one. Actually, counting all the concussions he's had, tonight's was the fourth one in three years. The doctor had told him after he got the second one last year, if he received another concussion it was important to let everyone know so the doctor and coaches could monitor him. Since he didn't let anyone know he was having symptoms from a couple of weeks ago, this concussion is bad."

Coach Wilson interrupted before Mr. McNair could continue. "I can't let him play anymore. There's no way I'm going to risk him getting permanent brain damage if he gets another concussion. Even after he's healed from this one, he can't play anymore. I'm sorry Jacob."

"It's not your fault. He knows he messed up. He knows he's not going to be able to play football again. He also knows he probably won't be playing baseball next season. He's really down about that, I just hope he doesn't get too down. As far as the concussion from two weeks ago, he told me the only symptoms were some headaches and some mild ringing in his ear. Things he could easily hide. He knew he only had one concussion before he was going to be watched by his doctor. He didn't want to stop playing."

"Why didn't he move after he was hit? I thought he was unconscious or something," I asked.

"He lost consciousness for about thirty seconds, he thinks. He said when he came to, he felt disorientated. He also knew his arm was probably broken. It was too painful for him to move, so he stayed as still as possible. Anyways, they're keeping him here for evaluation and will either let him go home tomorrow or Sunday."

Since everyone was gathered around us, they all heard what happened. People started leaving, asking us to let Sean know they hoped he got better soon. Patrick told us he and Ethan wanted to stay, but Ethan needed to get home. I let him know I would call him the next day and let him know what was going on. Castro, Jenny, Amber, Mike, Jarrod, Stacey, and fuckface oops, I mean John left with them. Soon, Robert, Lori, Kevin, Josh, Mark, Chase, Coach Wilson, Aaron, and Mr. McNair were left with me.

With the chaos of everyone leaving, I ended up sitting by myself for a bit. That didn't last too long before Chase sat next to me. I hadn't had a lot of interaction with them this week, so I didn't know much about them. It took me by surprise when I felt Chase's hand on my shoulder. I looked at them and asked, "I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive, but do I refer to you as him, her, or them?"

Chase laughed, "No, it's fine. I'm glad you asked, most people don't care enough to ask. If you see me and my hair is pulled back like this, I'm usually Chase and you can say him. If you see Chasity I prefer her. When I'm Chasity, I'll either have my hair down and fixed, or pulled into a high ponytail. If you're referring to me in general, them is fine. Are you holding up okay?"

The question took me by surprise. He could tell because he continued, "Everyone is running around here worried about Sean. I am too. But, nobody's asked you if you were doing okay. I can tell you're worried about him. I saw your face right before you jumped over the railing. I could tell how much you care about him. Seeing someone we love get hurt like that hurts us too."

"Wow, thanks for asking. I'm okay now. I was in a haze after they loaded him into the ambulance. Not knowing what was going on was one of the scariest things I've been through. I felt so helpless. The only time I felt close to that was at the beginning of summer after my parents were killed in a car wreck. That's when I found out Robert was my biological father, and I had to move down here."

He hugged me tighter. "I'm sorry TJ."

We sat in silence for a few moments before I asked, "When did you figure out you were genderfluid? How have you managed it at school?"

"I'm not sure I can pinpoint a specific time. I've always known I was different. There were days when I was younger I wanted to play dress up and wear makeup I would borrow from my older sister. Then there were other days when I didn't want to look like a girl at all. My mom's a psychiatrist, so she's always been more liberal as far as letting me and my brother and sisters be who we want to be.

"I guess I was about eight or nine when she asked me if I felt like I was a girl or boy. I looked at her and asked, `Why can't I be both?' When I started puberty, she asked me again and I gave her the same answer. That's when she knew for certain I was genderfluid and told me I could be whomever I wanted to be whenever I wanted to be. She asked me if I would prefer to be called something else when I felt like a girl. She let me know Chasity would've been my name if I had been born with female genitalia, so Chasity was born. She took me shopping and bought me almost a full wardrobe of girl clothes and make up. I've always looked androgynous, so it was easy to switch back and forth.

"As far as school, I was picked on at first. But, I've always had the attitude- if you don't like me, fuck you, there's the door. Plus, when my mom first suspected I was either trans or fluid, she enrolled me in martial arts. She said she wanted me to be able to defend myself if I needed to. It doesn't do the bullies any good when the person they're pushing around throws them to the ground. Once they figured that out, they left me alone."

I stood up and pulled Chase with me. I gave him a big hug and said, "Thank you both for asking if I was okay and answering my questions. And by the way, I think you're the perfect person for Mark. I'm sorry I didn't speak to you much this past week. The fact you showed up and John introduced you as one of his friends, I guess I prejudged you."

He pulled back from me and looked me in the eyes. "John and I are not friends. He has no respect for people's boundaries. The first time he asked Mark if he wanted a repeat of last week in front of me, I told him exactly where Chasity's high heel would be planted if he tried it again. He thinks other people's relationships are jokes. His excuse is all gay guys cheat, so everyone should be fair game. Except he did say Sean was his ex and he hopes they'll get back together soon."

"They were never together. He was Sean's first and they only messed around a couple of times. Last Friday night, he told me Sean would be his again. I told him he was a psycho-stalker. I really think he's going to get himself hurt one day when he tries to force himself on the wrong person. I know if I catch him touching Sean ever again, I'll kick his ass."

Mark walked over to us and asked, "Teej, why are you hugging my boyfriend?"

I looked at Chase with a raised eyebrow. He said, "If I'm Chase I'm his boyfriend. If I'm Chasity I'm his girlfriend. If he's not sure, I'm his significant other. I know it sounds tragically generic, but it's the best we can think of." He released the hug and turned to Mark. "Are you ready to go? Patrick's brother is home this weekend, so him and Ethan are coming over to your place tomorrow."

At the mention of Patrick's brother, Mark actually growled. "If that asshole says anything about Ethan ever again, I'll kick his ass into next week."

Chase replied, "You'd have to get in line behind Patrick."

I interrupted, "What did Patrick's brother do to Ethan?"

Josh was sitting close enough to overhear us and spoke up. "Ben is nothing but a bully. He's about five years older than Patrick and when Patrick was five or six, he would beat him up and tell him if he told their parents he would get in trouble for fighting and get a spanking. When their mom finally noticed the bruises on Patrick's arms, Ben had to find new ways to pick on him. That's when he started calling all of us names, and why Patrick didn't think anything about picking on me four years ago. He didn't want to disappoint his brother by being a faggot, since that's one of the most popular words in Ben's vocabulary. Anyone smaller than him who can't fight or doesn't play sports is automatically a faggot. So, you can imagine what he says about Ethan."

"He's so scared of Ben, he can't even speak in front of him," Mark let us know.

A nurse walked out to speak to Mr. McNair. He asked who TJ was and when I raised my hand, the nurse asked us to follow him. We stepped away from the crowd and he told us, "Sean's being transferred to a private room." He then turned to me and asked, "I guess you're TJ?" I nodded, and he continued, "Visiting hours are over, but he's asking to see you. You two can go up and see him, but only for a few minutes. He needs his rest. He'll be in room 316."

When the nurse left us, I let Robert and the rest know what was going on. Mr. McNair told Kevin to take Josh home in Sean's truck and stay the night, since he wasn't sure when he would be home. We headed to the elevator and up to the third floor.

The door to Sean's room was partially opened, so I knocked on it before entering. He was sitting up in the bed, staring at the wall across from him. He glanced our way briefly before looking down at his lap. He looked sad and lost. It broke my heart to see him sitting there. Mr. McNair went to his left side and placed his hand on Sean's shoulder.

"I came up to tell you goodnight. I'll be back in the morning. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

Sean didn't answer him, he just shook his head.

"Alright, son. You get some rest and remember I love you. I'll see you in the morning."

He crossed to me and place his arm over my shoulder and asked me to walk him to the door.

I looked at Sean and said, "Hey babe, I'll be right back okay?" He didn't respond or anything. When I went to give him a kiss, he wouldn't even look at me, so I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and walked out of the room.

Once we were outside Sean's room, he said in a low voice., "Stay with him as long as you can, please. Don't leave until they kick you out. I don't want to think about him being here alone and upset. I think you'll have a better chance to cheer him up some. Don't let him push you away."

I nodded. He patted me on the back a couple of times and started walking away. Before he got too far, I called out, "Mr. McNair!"

He turned around and walked back to me. "TJ, you can call me Jacob."

I smiled a little. "Okay, Jacob. I was wondering if the doctor told you how long he'll have to take off from school."

Jacob sighed. "He needs to take at least the whole week off. I guess it means I'll have to rearrange my schedule again to take off. He needs someone checking on him throughout the day."

"Well, I have a free period right before lunch, so I could spend the free hour and lunch hour with him, if Robert will let me, which I'm pretty sure he will. I can also pick up and bring his assignments with me. Then Josh and I could come over after school and stay with him till either you or Kevin gets home. I mean, if it's okay with you."

He regarded me for a few moments, then said, "If Robert's okay with it, yeah, I think that would work out. Oh, let Kevin know he can use Sean's truck for the week. Sean's not going to be going anywhere."

"Okay, I'm sure I'll talk to you tomorrow. Go get some rest. I'll let Kevin know about the truck."

I walked back into the room and Sean was laying down. He had his eyes closed, but I could tell he wasn't asleep. I'd spent too many mornings watching him sleep to know his breathing pattern. I sat in the chair next to the bed and watched him pretend to sleep, hoping he would talk to me.

Finally, after about five minutes of silence, I spoke up. "Are you just going to lay there with your eyes closed or are you going to at least acknowledge my existence?" I waited for thirty seconds before continuing. "You're the one who asked to see me." I was going to wait another thirty seconds, but then I noticed the tears falling from the side of his eyes.

I knew it would probably get me in trouble, but I really didn't give a flying fuck. I crawled into the bed and cuddled up next to him, placed my arm around his waist to avoid his cast, and held him. I whispered in his ear, "Shh, I'm here for you."

His voice came out as a croak when he asked, "Aren't you going to tell me it's going to be okay?"

"Is that what you want to hear?"

"No." He was quiet for a few moments before he said, "Teej, I've lost everything and all because I'm a selfish dumbass."

"Hey, don't call yourself selfish. You are the most selfless person I know. You go out of your way to make sure all of your friends are okay. I'm not going to argue the dumbass part though. Why didn't you tell anyone you were having symptoms?"

He sighed. "I wanted to play football. It's my senior year and I thought I wouldn't get hurt again. I'm sorry. What exactly happened? I can't really remember."

"The way I saw it was, number thirty on their team somehow got past Smith and he blindsided you. The tackle was hard enough I saw your head snap back. You dropped the ball before you hit the ground. Once you hit the ground...I never want to hear that sound again. I swear I heard the second your arm broke. I jumped the railing and ran out to the field. You weren't moving. I was so fucking scared.

"The ref called roughing the passer, Patrick called a handoff to Castro, who ran it in for a touchdown. We won by ten."

I thought about not telling him who the person tackled him was and figured he'd hear it sooner or later. "The guy who tackled you is Rogers' cousin. Coach Wilson benched Smith and Rogers. He said they could play again once they can prove they can be part of a team. He told me the fact they didn't show up tonight didn't help their case a lot."

Sean didn't respond to any of this. I wasn't sure if he already knew who hit him or what, but all he did was snuggle up closer to me. After a few moments, I said, "Oh, by the way, the ER waiting room was filled with people who were worried about you. You'll probably get a shit-ton of visitors tomorrow." Again, Sean didn't respond.

I'm not sure how long we laid there, me holding him tightly, before the night nurse came in and looked at us on the bed. She looked at me and said, "I'm going to walk back out of this door and wait about thirty seconds, then I'm coming back in. If you're still in that bed, I will assume you're the patient and since you don't have an IV line like your friend there, I'll have to give you a shot using this here needle." She pulled out a needle that was about three inches long from a drawer. "Your choice."

I jumped out of the bed as fast as I could without hurting Sean while laughing. "I'm out. I'm out. No needle, please."

She chuckled. "Sorry, but you'll have to come back tomorrow. Times up."

I saluted her and said, "Yes, ma'am, warden."

She smiled. "That's right and don't you forget it. I'll let you say goodnight." She turned and stepped out of the room.

I went back over to the bed and stepped in front of Sean. I bent over and looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I love you. I need you to rest and get better. Please. I will see you tomorrow, okay?" He nodded, looking misty-eyed again. "Can I get a kiss this time?" He nodded again. I leaned down and kissed him. "Bye babe. I love you so much. And remember, you may be a dumbass, but you're my dumbass."

Sean rolled over onto his back and when I looked at his face, there was a slight smile. I thought maybe he would be okay. Maybe he would be able to make it through this. He had his dad, his uncle, his new brother Kevin, Robert, Coach Wilson, his friends, and he had me. And I sure as hell wasn't going anywhere.

The next morning, I woke up and went to the kitchen to get some breakfast before heading to the hospital. Kevin and Josh were already there eating cereal. Robert was sitting at the table, eating eggs and toast, and drinking his coffee. I grabbed a bowl, filled it with Froot Loops, and poured the milk. I sat next to Robert and across from Kevin and Josh. They kept looking at each other and grinning stupidly. I sighed and rolled my eyes, but nobody acted like they heard or saw me. Hell, nobody even acknowledged my existence when I walked in the room. I started eating my cereal, getting more and more pissed and annoyed by the second. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Well, good-fucking-morning to you too, assholes."

Nobody said anything. Robert sat his coffee cup down, looked at his watch and said, "Three minutes and fifteen seconds. You suckers owe me ten dollars each."

"What the hell?" I practically yelled.

Josh spoke up. "We had a bet. Dad said you wouldn't last four minutes with us ignoring you. I said you could do five. Kevin had no faith in you and said three."

I glared at Kevin, who mumbled, "Fifteen freaking seconds. Fifteen freaking seconds just cost me ten freaking dollars."

That brought an unwanted smile to my face. I still wanted to be pissed at these assholes. So, instead I smirked and said, "Jeez Kev-o, you know you can freaking say fuck, right?"

He didn't turn his normal shade of red, just a slight pink, and it made me want to be even more mad at the adorable gentle giant. I had to get him to the shade of red I find most adorable, so I pulled out all the stops. "Oh, Josh, you might want to pull your bed away from the wall a little. It's hitting the wall again. I guess when you're driving hard and fast into something the size of him," I pointed my spoon at Kevin, "the momentum moves your whole bedframe."

Mission-fucking-accomplished. This, though, had the trifecta. Kevin turned redder than I've seen for the past few weeks, Josh choked on his bite of cereal, and Robert spit his coffee out. Once Josh stopped choking, he gave me a death-glare.

After Robert recovered and wiped up the coffee from the table, he looked from Josh, to Kevin, then back to Josh, before turning to me and saying, "You're right, a Rottweiler and a Chihuahua. Oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that. You're a bad influence on us Teej."

I put on my best innocent angel face and fluttered my eyelashes. "Why, little ol me? I'm totally innocent. See my halo? It's held up by my horns."

"I'm going to head to the hospital in a bit. I want to be there in case they discharge him today. I'll help Jacob get him settled in. Oh, that reminds me, I need to ask a huge favor. Jacob can't really afford to take this week off from work and Sean has to stay home at least the whole week. He needs someone checking on him periodically. I was wondering if I could leave during my free period, go to Sean's, then stay with him through lunch. I'd be back before lunch gets out. Plus, I can bring him any assignments he needs so he can keep up on his schoolwork. Jacob said it was okay with him as long as it's cool with you."

"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem, as long as you're back before lunch gets out."

"Thanks. I'm going to change and head out."

I got up, put my bowl in the dishwasher and headed to my room. I was about halfway down the hall when Kevin called out and stopped me. I went back to the kitchen and stuck my head around the corner and asked, "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could follow me home and then take Josh and me with you to the hospital. That way I can bring Sean's truck home."

"Don't worry about taking the truck home, Jacob said you can use it the whole week. So, y'all can either ride with me or meet me up there in the truck Then you can leave if y'all get bored or something."

"Alright, I think we'll meet you up there."

I left the house ten minutes later. When I walked into Sean's room, Jacob was already there. Sean was looking at the wall dejectedly. He didn't even look my way when I came in. There was a teeny-tiny-small part of myself that thought, "Great, I'm going to have to put up with this shitty attitude again. Yay, what fun." But. I squashed the thought down, smiled, and said, "Hey, babe. What's up?"

When I didn't get an answer, I turned to Jacob and said, "Good morning, Jacob. How are you this morning."

He smiled and sighed. "I'm well. Mr. Grumpy-pants is pouting because the doctor won't release him today. He wants one more day of observation."

Just then, I heard someone walk into the room. I couldn't help but to stare. Sean's Uncle Aaron chuckled and said, "Good morning TJ. How are you today?"

"Umm...yeah. I'm good. How are you? Do you think your uniform would fit Sean?"

Jacob barked out a laugh, Aaron blushed and said, "Wow. You really don't hold back, do you?"

At the same time, Sean moaned and said, "I told you Teej. You're not allowed to fantasize about my uncle while we're umm together."

When I turned to look at him, I saw him smiling. "I knew it would work." I turned back to Aaron and asked, "But, seriously, do you think it would fit him?"

Aaron chuckled and said to Sean, "The guy I'm dating thinks it's sexy too. He wants me to wear it next time we're in bed."

Sean gaped at his uncle and I could tell Jacob was holding back from cracking up. I looked at Aaron and said, "You can't bullshit a bullshitter. If you're gay then I'm the fu-freaking pope."

Jacob burst out laughing again. Aaron slapped me on the shoulder and said, "You're right. I'm not gay. But, I could make an exception for you. Hit me up in a couple of years if this one doesn't treat you right. I'll even wear the uniform." He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I think the word you were looking for was fucking. You would be the fucking pope."

Side note- This is the exchange that began the flirtatious relationship I have with Aaron. Neither of us is serious, but it gets under Sean's skin while making him smile at the same time. He gets really possessive and goes all Alpha-male caveman. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he doesn't club me over the head, drag me to his cave, and ravage me, or piss on me so he marks his territory. The former we could discuss; the latter, I'm not sure I'm into golden showers. Anyways, I digress.

"Okay, Uncle Aaron. You can stop flirting with my boyfriend now. Seriously, why are you even whispering in his ear? And Timothy Jackson Kennedy, you get that dreamy look off your face and remember who you belong to."

I turned and looked at Sean. "Who I belong to?" He raised one eyebrow and threw me a sexy-come-fuck-me-now smirk and I said, "Okay, yeah. You're right, who I belong to." I turned back to Aaron and continued, "But at least I know what I get to look forward to in twelve years. Damn I'm a lucky guy."

Both Aaron and Sean said, "Thank you."

At least I got Sean out of his funk. It shocked me when I realized how much it physically hurt me to see him sad or upset. I know I told him before I was in love with him, but in that moment, the joy and elation I felt from being responsible for turning his mood one-hundred-and-eighty degrees, made me realize the depth of my love. My thoughts were so cliché. I stood there with a perma-grin on my face, making my cheeks hurt, thinking, "He is my forever." Honestly, I would've kicked my own ass if I had said it out loud. Hell, just thinking it made me want to hurl. How can he turn me to mush like he does?

Before Aaron left, he pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear, "Just go with it. You know I'm not serious, I'm trying to fuck with my nephew. You're good for him. Keep him happy."

I hugged him tighter and said, "Don't worry. I will."

Sean cleared his throat. "That's long enough. I swear if I wasn't in this hospital bed, wearing this gown with nothing on underneath so my ass hangs out when I stand up, and I wasn't comfortable as hell right now, I'd get up and do something about whatever y'all are doing over there. Dad, make them stop hugging."

Aaron chuckled and broke the hug. He walked over to the bed and gave Sean a side-hug and a kiss on the cheek and said, "I love you kiddo. I might check in on you after my shift. If not, I'll see you tomorrow."

As Aaron walked by me, he kissed my cheek too and said, "I'll see you later."

I stared at the doorway and looked at his ass as he left. I turned to Sean and said, "Eh, I think you've got the better ass."

He beamed. "Thanks. I love you too."

Jacob asked, "Are you two like this all the time?"

Sean answered, "You should hear Teej when he gets jealous. He gets really creative with the names he comes up with for the people who flirt with me."

Throughout the day, Sean had a constant stream of visitors. The first to arrive after Aaron were Josh and Kevin. At lunch, Jacob invited us to go out to eat. I declined, saying I wanted to spend time with Sean. So, Jacob told them they had no choice. While they were gone, Coach Wilson showed up, surprisingly with Rachel.

Coach Wilson greeted both Sean and me. The two of them talked for a while. It seems the coach would like Sean to be on the sidelines with him and help him out by suggesting plays and to be a general morale booster for the rest of the team. Sean was so excited by the offer, he didn't stop grinning. Coach said he was going to run to the vending machine and would be right back. Once Coach left, an uncomfortable silence seemed to settle between the three of us.

Finally, Rachel cleared her throat and started talking, but not before a dramatic sigh and a roll of her eyes. "I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish I could tell you for sure Joey and Paul," she must've seen the confused look on my face, because she clarified, "Smith and Rogers do have first names you know. Anyways, I wish I could say they had this planned out, but I can't. All I know is Joey had something he wasn't willing to tell me, and Paul knew about it. That's why I told TJ to tell you to watch out last week. The only reason I was with that douche was because I knew they were going to do something. Despite everything, I still would like to consider you a friend, Sean."

I was about to say something about the fact she only said Sean's name, but she cut me off before I could begin. "I don't like you. You waltzed into the school like you owned it just because of who you were dating and who your dad is."

I did cut her off this time. "Oh, kind of like how you want to threaten football players who don't do what you want with being kicked off the team because of who your dad is?"

She stood up and said in a voice just shy of yelling, "Listen here, you have no right to come to town and start dating Sean and walk around the school like you can get away with anything."

Sean stopped her before she could go any farther. "No, Rachel. You have no right. You don't have the right to threaten me because I wouldn't go out with you, which backfired. You don't have the right to try and come between me and Teej. And you certainly don't have the right to come in here and say the bullshit you're saying to him. Even if I had never met Teej, the answer would've been no when you asked me out, just like it was last year. I'm gay. It's why I broke up with Amber and it's why I told you no when you asked me out. Nothing you do will change that. I don't know if you were trying to get back on my good side by telling me about Smith and Rogers, but it won't work. If you can't accept TJ, you can't be my friend. Now, I'm supposed to be resting and not getting upset. I think you should leave. Goodbye."

She tried to act like she wasn't angry but failed miserably. "Fine. Whatever. I have plenty of friends, I don't need you two anyways." She turned and left the room and must've ran into her dad down the hall because we heard her ask, "Daddy, can we just go now? I'm ready to get home and evidently, Sean needs his rest."

Coach told her to go wait in the car and he would be down in a few minutes. He walked into the room and looked at us. "What did my daughter do now?"

Sean looked like he wanted to tell Coach everything that had been said, but I didn't want to deal with the aftermath, so I spoke first. "I think Sean wants to rest a little, do you mind talking to me while I walk you out?" He shook his head and told Sean to feel better and he would see him later. I told Sean I would be back in a few minutes and he didn't look happy with me but didn't say anything when I left. Once we were near the elevators, I said, "Rachel and I were getting along about as well as we normally do, and I think it was upsetting Sean. He made a comment about needing rest and then rolled over and started ignoring both of us. I told her it was probably best if she left so Sean could rest for a while. It was just as much my fault as hers. I'm sorry."

Coach shook his head. "Don't apologize. I know my daughter has a way of saying things she knows will make people upset. I think she does it just to see their reactions. I don't know. At least she broke up with Smith last night. I don't know what she ever saw in him."

I was silent. If she wanted her dad to know why she was with Smith, she could tell him. I wasn't going to do her any favors by making her look good in any way. I walked Coach to the entrance and told him goodbye.

While I was making my way back to the elevators, I heard a familiar male voice behind me. "I think he's in room 326."

An equally familiar female voice said, "No, he's in room 315, I think. We can always ask the information desk."

"I don't need directions. I know where I'm going. It's room 326."

While Castro and Jenny argued, I tried to keep myself from laughing or turning around. Finally, I heard Amber say, "You're both wrong. It's 316. Anyways, why don't we just follow Teej. He's standing right there in front of the elevators," which made Mike laugh.

When I turned around, I saw Castro push Mike and say, "Don't laugh at me bro. Us guys are supposed to stick together."

Mike said, "Nope. Sorry. I just got this one and I'm not going to argue with her, make her upset, or disagree with anything she tells me." He put his arm around Amber's shoulders and smiled at her.

Jenny punched Castro in the arm. "Why can't you be more like him? He's smart."

By this time, they had joined me at the elevators. I hugged Jenny and Amber and gave Castro and Mike bro-hugs. "Come on up guys. I'm warning you now though, if he starts getting irritable, we all need to leave. He's supposed to be resting anyways."

Amber said, "We understand. We weren't planning on staying long. We're meeting up with Stacey and Jarrod in an hour at the mall. You can come with us if you want."

"I think I'll pass. I'll probably see what Kevin and Josh are doing and hang out with them. I want to stay up here with Sean; but if he gets too irritable, I think it would be best to just leave and let him rest. Hopefully, he'll be okay. He's obviously upset. He knows he can't play football again and baseball's up in the air depending on how long it takes his arm to heal and then strengthen up."

Castro winced. "Hey, umm, do y'all mind if I talk to Sean alone for a bit. I, umm, see...we've talked in the past about if something happened and I think I know what to say. If you don't want me to, that's fine. I just think, maybe, I mean...I know I'd want my best friend to talk to me if this happened to me. I know he'd know what to say. Anyways, I'll shut up now. Okay."

"If you think it will help, yeah it's cool. His mood will shift at a moment's notice. One second, he'll be laughing and smiling, then it's like a switch gets flipped, and he just gets irritable. He won't say anything, but I can tell he wants to be alone when he gets like that. So, if you think you can help, feel free to talk to him. Why don't we all go in first, y'all can say hi, then the four of us will say we're hungry and head down to the cafeteria."

So, that's what we did. At first, Sean looked pleased to see them. Then, when I suggested going to get food, he looked relieved. That look bothered me. When we were out in the hall and he saw Castro was staying behind, I heard him say, "What do you want, Alex? I'm really not in the mood for your jokes or anything. No offense. But if you're here to try to cheer me up, just go with them."

"I'm not here to entertain you, I'm here to remind you of a few things..."

I started walking away to give them some privacy. I was hopeful Castro would be able to pull Sean from the depression he seemed to be slipping into. I honestly didn't know how to do it. I know it might sound selfish, but I had been dealing and not dealing with a lot of my own shit the past few months and didn't know which way was up as far as helping Sean went.

We did go down to the cafeteria, but I didn't feel like eating. We sat down there for about thirty minutes talking about anything and everything. Amber and Jenny could both tell something was on my mind and kept asking me if I was okay. I played it off and told them I was just worried about Sean. It was partially true. My mind kept going back on something Jacob said the night before. He told me, "Don't let him push you away." My mind wouldn't let go of that sentence.

Finally, Jenny looked at her watch and said, "We're supposed to meet Stacey and Jarrod in like fifteen minutes. Let's go get Alex so we can head out."

We went back up to the third floor and walked till we were right outside of Sean's door. We could hear them talking inside, so I motioned for everyone to stop. I wanted to give them time to finish whatever they were saying without interruption. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. What I heard though, almost broke me completely.

Sean's voice, sounding a little angry and upset, came through the open doorway. "I just can't stand him hovering around all the time. I wish he would leave me alone for a bit. I was so happy when he decided to go get lunch. At least it would give me some escape. I swear he's like a helicopter..."

I didn't let him finish the sentence. I walked through the door and looked at Sean. "You don't have to worry about anyone hovering around you and bothering you. I'm gone. Bye."

I turned and left the room. I didn't stop to explain myself to the rest of the group standing outside the door. I could hear Sean yelling for me to come back, but I didn't care. I didn't wait for the elevator, I took the stairs down to the first floor. I ignored my ringing cell phone and threw it into the passenger seat when I opened the car door. I was just about to get into my car when Castro suddenly yanked me by my shoulder and turned me towards him. He looked like he wanted to punch me. "Jeez, pendejo. Way to jump to conclusions. If you get in that car and drive away, I will kick your gringo ass."

"What the fuck, Castro. Let me go. I heard what he said. He doesn't want me hanging around. He was relieved when I went to lunch. It's obvious he wants me to leave him alone, so I will."

"I swear to God, you are a dumbass. Did you ever stop to think he might have been talking about someone else? Like his dad, maybe?"

"Bullshit. He couldn't wait for his dad to get home from El Paso. He told me so Thursday night. The only one who's been around him too much is me. I can take a fucking hint."

When I turned to get into my car, Castro surprised me by pulling me back and slamming me against the back door. He got right in my face and started talking. His voice was low and menacing when he said, "Listen here. My best friend is up in that hospital bed crying because he knows he just fucked up. He's lost two of few things he holds precious in his life. The things that make him happy. They are his dad, football, baseball, his friends, and probably most important, you. If you drive away now, he'll think he's lost three things. Do. Not. Hurt. Him. Like. That. It doesn't matter if he was talking about you or not. What he said was just him venting. I told him to say whatever he wanted to let out his frustrations. I told him to tell me anything he didn't want to say to anyone else, so it would be out of his system. You happened to have shit timing.

"Yes, he might have been talking about you when he said that. It doesn't mean he meant it. He loves you more than anything. So, if you don't get your gringo ass up to that room right this fucking minute, I will kick your fucking ass. Are we clear?"

I tried to push him away, but he was stronger, so it didn't really work out too well for me. I started crying and I asked through the tears, "How the fuck am I supposed to act like nothing's wrong? I heard him say he's tired of me being around. I don't care if he meant for me to hear it or not. It's how he feels. I don't want to be where I'm not wanted."

I didn't expect him to pull me into a hug; but when he did, I lost it and cried on his shoulder. After a few moments, his phone started ringing. He answered it. "Hey...Yeah I caught up to him...I'm trying to get him to go back up now to talk to you. He's pretty upset by what he heard, and I can't say I blame him. I would've been too...I know you didn't mean it, and you didn't mean for him to hear...Okay, let me see."

He pulled the phone from his ear and said, "He wants to talk to you. Please just listen to what he has to say. Then, you can leave or go back upstairs."

I took the phone from him and asked in a flat, emotionless voice, "What?"

The fact Sean was crying was evident when he spoke. "I'm so, so, sorry you heard me say that. I swear I didn't mean it. I mean, I thought it, but I love you too much to ever say that to you."

I tried to keep my voice even when I said, "You know how I feel about being unwanted," but my voice choked on a sob when I said the last word.

"Oh God, babe. I'm so sorry. I do want you. I always want you. I love you so fucking much. Please don't leave me. I don't feel complete when you're not around. I'm begging you, please come back and stay with me. Please."

I handed Castro back his phone without a word. I looked from the car to the hospital entrance. Finally, I closed the car door and started walking back into the hospital. I heard Castro's voice behind, "You're one lucky son of a bitch. You better kiss his ass big time when he gets back up there...I love you too, bro. Send Jenny and them down. Tell them I'll be waiting in the lobby...Alright, bro. I'll see you later."

He followed me to the elevators and stopped me right before I hit the call button. "Don't be too hard on him. He's upset about football and baseball. He's overly emotional from the concussion. Besides, you didn't hear what he said before he said that. He told me he loves you more than anything and can't imagine a life without you. He said he hated himself for what he was about to tell me. He couldn't believe he was even thinking it. So, if you're going to give him shit over it, and I won't blame you if you do, please wait till after he's out of here and getting better. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure, okay. This is going to be so fucking hard. I'll have it in my head all day now that I'm annoying him."

The elevator opened, and Jenny, Mike, and Amber stepped out. Jenny hugged me and told me to listen to what Sean tells me and not what I accidentally overheard. Mike gave me a hug and told me to forgive the dumb jock because he realized what a good thing he had as soon as I left the room. Amber looked at me for a second and whispered, "He wants you with him. I know he does. He loves you and you need to tell him you love him too. He's up there worried he messed up too big to fix. I know you love him, just remember that."

I nodded, told them goodbye, and got in the elevator. When I entered the room, I saw Sean sitting in the bed, with tears in his eyes. A nurse was asking if everything was okay. He looked at me and said, "I hope so. My heart just got back up here. Hopefully, he'll stay and forgive me."

I laughed. "You're a fucking idiot. You are aware of that, right?"

A slight smile appeared on his face and he nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Because you know I'm the best thing that will ever happen to you?"

His smile got bigger and he nodded more. "Yeah, I know."

"You know I'm not going anywhere if I come back in there. No matter what you say, you're not going to get rid of me easily."

His smile turned into a grin. "Good, I don't want you to ever go anywhere. Now, it's my turn. You know I'm sorry you heard that, right?" I nodded, and he continued, "You know I'm sorry I said it too, right?" I nodded again. "Alright. You know, just because I think something, doesn't make it true. He asked me what I was thinking. He told me to tell him everything I was thinking and to just say the negative thoughts out loud to get them out of my system. It's something we've done our whole lives. Normally, we make sure we won't be overheard when we do it."

The nurse finished checking his vitals, then turned to me and said, "You've got a good one right here. I wouldn't hold it against him if he said sweet things like that to me."

I smiled and nodded. "I know. He's the best. I can't stay mad at him. I'm here to stay."

The nurse smiled, left the room, and closed the door behind her. I crossed the room and gave him a hug. He drew me into a kiss. It was so passionate, we didn't hear the door open. We didn't break the kiss till we heard the catcalls and whistles from Kevin and Josh. He wouldn't let me go till I sat on the bed next to him, then he put his arm around my waist. When Jacob asked what was going on, Sean said, "I'm holding onto what I love. I'm not letting him go, ever. Except when they kick him out tonight. Then I'll only let him go if he promises to always come back to me."

Jacob looked at us, trying to figure out what was going on. I looked at him and said, "I was stupid and almost let him push me away. But, I came back and now I don't plan on leaving again."

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