Tom Browning's Schooldays

Tom Browning's Schooldays

By

Joel

Chapter SeventyTwo

The morning came all too soon. Our loving embraces had lasted a while for we had been in a most happy mood. Worn out but satiated with love we slept soundly. It had been decreed no one would be disturbed before eight o'clock and it was at that hour two silent servants entered our room and woke us gently with a quiet whisper. Fabrice was my awakener, Valentine Robin's. What could two happy boys do but reach out and hug the pair!

They were not too startled. I think they were getting used to the strange English! We both said how pleased we had been making music the night before. They replied that they had been most honoured for us to join them. Valentine said le petit d‚jeuner would be served at nine o'clock. What could we do after they left but rejoice and repeat our love again!

Washed clean we were dressed and ready exactly as the clock struck. We knew we would be setting off at half past ten and that our bags and chests would be ready packed for us. Just the two young boys from the kitchen were in the breakfast room serving our party so the other servants could be busy upstairs. Of course, we were congratulated again over our contributions to the concert. Martin said he had heard the Commandant say we would be welcome to join the regimental band. He did say he thought it was in jest but he had been most fulsome in his praise.

The Comte appeared as we were finishing eating. He was beside himself with praise, too. Both Robin and I were hugged as we stood to bow and greet him. "My dears, you will return. I warrant I will have that other organ as soon as possible." He turned to his nephews who were grinning at him. "You will make sure you all come back soon." Lancelot and Jabez were not left out. "Dr Dodd and Mr Bottom. I have valued our conversations. Please return." He laughed. "This morning, though, I will be here to see you depart." With that he waved and strode off.

Breakfast finished we all went to check none of our belongings remained in our rooms. Oh dear, I did find that soiled stocking under the bed as the coverlet hung low. "Too precious to leave behind," said Robin as I stuffed it into a jacket pocket. I hoped it would not peep out before I could add it to my travelling bag in the coach.

We assembled ready to depart at the appointed time. Our coach had been drawn up before the front door. Alain had our parcels for the servants who stood in a row in the hallway. I saw Lancelot hand each of them a coin as well. As we descended the steps they preceded us and stood ready to open the coach doors and to hand us into it. Of course, Rowley Roberts was on the box and he and Claude raised their whips in greeting. Young Pierre in a new hat with a cockade was our postillion again. One of us would join him once we were away from the mansion.

Before we stepped forward the Comte rushed down the steps and hugged each of us much to the amusement of all, including the servants, who could not contain their smiles. He stood at the bottom of the steps as we drove away. "To the next time!" he called out as the coach circled the drive and progressed through the ornate gateway.

The next two and a half days sped by as we relived our adventures so far. Our journey back to Coquelles took the same road though we stayed overnight in two different auberges from those on our outward journey. It was at the second of these while sitting in the garden after dinner I was able to talk one-to-one with Jabez. The others were resting or were exploring ruins. It was peaceful and quiet but what I heard was a sorry tale.

Jabez said my Uncle Digby had made clear what I should be told as there were affairs which might have an effect on me, while also my curiosity over his own mission must be satisfied. He said that the bank of which the Honourable Philip Lascelles MP had been a director had crashed even more spectacularly than at first feared. There were accusations of fraud and chicanery on a large scale and all the directors had fled the country. Many people had lost money, including Mr de Vere and officers known to my Uncle Billy, so Uncle Digby Wright was involved in getting redress through his contacts and with lawyers such as Mr Harrison. Jabez said there was no worry about the deeds which my father had received for Sir Digby had said the provenance of these was beyond question and the year and a day would soon be up. One of Jabez's errands had been to give Mr Tuckwell, for we still referred to him by that name, documents to be passed to the authorities in Paris as the bank had held securities on properties in Paris and elsewhere. These were now forfeit for many of the owners were not known or hidden behind dummy companies.

Jabez said Philip Lascelles was no longer a Member of Parliament and the last heard of him was that he was in a private hospital in Berlin. Not only that but his son was said to be in Berlin, too, and there were other disturbing matters. Jabez said he knew I was aware of the young girl who had run away and had been found in Grantham. I nodded though I was not too clear of her misdemeanour. Jabez explained that she had been accused of selling her body. Again I was unsure of what that meant other than the comments of the grooms that men paid her for being fucked. They had gone quiet and I had not dared to ask more. Jabez then asked if I had heard of the 'White Slave Trade'? I shook my head. Jabez was quite forthright as he said there was growing evidence that young girls from poor families, especially from places such as Ireland, were being sent across the Channel to houses of ill- repute in cities such as Paris, Vienna and Berlin. Had I noticed three girls with an older woman on the boat from Dover? I shook my head.

"I made it my business to follow them as they seemed rather distraught," Jabez said most seriously. "I heard the woman say they would be staying at an inn called 'Le Maison Rouge' and I was able to send a letter from Mr Johnson's to Mr Tuckwell in Paris." He nodded. "I was correct as he told me it was a well-known house of ill-repute where girls were accommodated before being sent on elsewhere."

I was taken aback. This was something almost beyond my comprehension but Jabez had more to reveal. What he told me then only confirmed my wariness of Black Jack Lascelles. There was a suspicion that he had got involved in this trade though he was on the edges of it if anything. Jabez said the house in St James' Street had been watched for on two occasions there had been at least one girl and a woman also in residence. They had only been there a day or so each time. He looked quite solemn when he said from the description he thought the woman on the ferry was the same person.

I asked if Black Jack had ever returned to the house. He shook his head and said he was sure he had not as there had been no sightings of him. Jabez had been sent again to be friendly with the lubberly lout in the gatehouse but, though forthcoming about visitors, he did not know who they were or where they went. All the youth would say was that his mother was even more bad-tempered and forbad him to venture upstairs. The three men who had been the guards were rarely in residence but seemed to spend their time drinking in a beerhouse off Curzon Market or driving the coach to and fro with no apparent purpose. "We do have their names now as the wretch calls them Makepiss, Scratch-it and Alehouse," he laughed. "He did say they were rightly Makepeace, Cratchit and Taverner and the other names were what they joshed themselves with. We know two are discharged soldiery and the other was on a merchant ship until he lost an eye in some argument."

After remarking that the dolt did seem to have some wit to remember all that I enquired if Jack Lascelles was cured. Jabez shook his head again and said their information was he was still quite unsound in the head mainly because of the laudanum and other preparations he had been taking, but he needed money which would be a reason for his involvement in that vile trade.

"He is full of hatred, too," Jabez said slowly. "He wishes to destroy the good name of the Lascelles family and we are sure he has plans afoot. Our informants can only observe at a distance but he meets with some very strange people. We know his father is fatally ill and is raving and his death will be the trigger for more evil from that son of his." Jabez's use of 'raving' told me that Philip Lascelles was in the final stages of the Great Pox. Lancelot's book had noted its symptoms in some detail.

"What of that house in St James' Street?" I asked. "Who is responsible for it? If the father is ill in Berlin and not likely to survive will it pass to his son?"

"The house is still in disrepair and is getting more ruinous," Jabez said with a shake of his head. "There is more, for the house is not that man's property but rightly belongs to his brother Lord Harford. I doubt if his Lordship knows this and it is something you must not tell of. There were deeds for all his holdings in property kept at Garthorpe and some were thought lost in a fire some twenty or so years ago. We have found those originals in a lawyer's office in London. The lawyer was one who also wrote false documents for the bank and was found dead, probably murdered, just two months or so ago."

"The fire was deliberate and Philip Lascelles was the culprit," I said surmising what might have happened.

Jabez smiled. "Your uncle said you would not be slow in coming to the correct conclusions."

"My uncle Digby would seem to be putting a deal of confidence in one so young as me," I said carefully looking at Jabez straight in the eye.

He was solemn again. "Master Tom, think of me. I was taken from my lowly station and placed in a household which is more important than you could imagine. I have been entrusted with tasks and duties..."

I held out a hand and grasped his. "...Jabez, you do not have to say more. It is only within these last few months I have dimly learned of what my uncle and the others in his household might be occupied with. I know it is more than pursuing stupid women and spiritualists with their strange tables. I am honoured I have been given such information as you have imparted today." His look was inscrutable. "So my Uncle Digby is entrusting me with more?"

"He may have more to say when you meet him but I have to tell you your friend at school must be protected."

"George Lascelles?"

Jabez nodded. "Mad Jack has made threats heard by others that many at your school will suffer. There is one who will not return when you do for his father has withdrawn him through those rumours. He had dealings with Jack and is blamed for causing his downfall there. I doubt it is true but we know Jack borrowed money from him and his father has had short shrift over repayment."

I did not say but surmised it could be Jopling who I knew had lent money and had sought repayment. What retribution might Black Jack wreak on him?

Jabez looked at me steadily. "Your uncle wishes you to be discreet but to note any strangers who might be about the school. Also, if you hear talk of persons who are asking questions then he would be grateful to receive a letter from you."

"From your manner there is more to say," I asserted.

Jabez sighed. "There is more evil in this world than I could ever imagine." He chewed on his lower lip. "You are aware of a master who was dismissed from Ashbourne?"

I nodded though this was an incident before I had joined the school. Of course, George Lascelles had been the one to alert Mr Pretyman to that man's behaviour.

"I heard that threats were made against my friend George," I said wonderingly as Jabez seemed to know so much.

"Do you know that man's name?" he asked. I shook my head. "'Tis better you do not for it might be mentioned and you must show ignorance." He took a deep breath. "It is known that Jack Lascelles has been seen with the man in the village outside Paris where he lives." He did smile then. "The place was not on the route we took and that must suffice for you."

"Why would that pair meet?" I asked.

"That is something I cannot discuss with you except that, as both have hate for your friend, vigilance must be maintained."

I was flummoxed. I was being told snippets and not given a complete story.

"And when will I be told more?" I responded rather testily. My irritation abated, for after all Jabez was under orders. "Jabez, I am sorry. I did not mean to be so sharp."

"Tom, you must wait until your uncle speaks with you. I only know what I have been allowed to divulge to you."

I smiled at him. "Jabez I have heard enough for one day. What say you we should call for a glass?"

A serving-boy was hovering near the rear door of the inn and soon brought us tankards of cool small beer.

"Jabez I have one more question. What may I share with Robin?"

"Our Robin is as astute as you. He has already asked me if I was delivering messages and what should he tell you. I said quite truthfully I was and that he should wait until you had asked me the same." He laughed. "I do aver he thinks you are somewhat witless and slow and think my only task is to see your backside is clean, for that has been my duty before."

"Jabez you are incorrigible!" I smiled at him. "But I would not wish you to be otherwise. I have much to think about and from your response I should say as much as I think fit."

He nodded and we quaffed our ale.

The others had either abandoned their quest for buried treasure in the ruins or had revived after their rest. It was now growing cool so we repaired to the warmth inside the inn and played at backgammon or jeu de dames. On the morrow we would be arriving back at Coquelles and we would have but one more day before embarking on the voyage back to Dover and thence the train to London. There was still much to discuss. The twins were adamant their father would have goods suitable for presents for my mother and Aunt Fanny. Lancelot wanted something for his mother, too. We still had the barrel of wine. The Comte had shook his head when it was offered to him. He had a cellar full already but on the recommendation of his astute nephews would contact Monsieur Fontane and have a delivery from him. "My dears, there is always a thirst for good wine!"

Again there was a great welcome for us at the Johnson's mansion. We arrived late in the afternoon and the place was humming with activity. Mr Johnson explained that several carts had arrived with merchandise ready to be dispatched to Dover and on to London. Wares had also come from the other direction. He pointed to one barn in which he said was the latest consignment of ornamental brass and ironwork: hinges, door handles and suchlike in great abundance brought from manufactories in Birmingham and Manchester. I did not need to ask about vases or pots as Martin made straight for another of the warehouses almost dragging his father with him. Even before we had a chance to enter the house I was supplied with a selection of most beautiful objets d'art to choose from. I said there was so much to admire I would do my selection in the morning as I knew the others wanted sustenance!

Madame Johnson was in the salon awaiting us with pots of tea and pastries. We had to relate some of our adventures and Madame was quite shocked by hearing of the involvement with the would-be brigands. Alain praised his brother even though he had waved an unloaded musket. As we all grinned at this it did relax his mother. There was so much to tell so Madame Johnson said she would hear it in installments or she would get quite confused. We were enjoined to make ourselves comfortable and dinner would be at seven. A good mode of dismissal!

Although Robin had known I had talked with Jabez at length the previous evening he had said nothing nor asked any questions on this stage of our journey. We went to our bedroom to wash and change and as we were lolling on a comfortable sofa after making ourselves more handsome than ever Robin still remained inscrutably silent. However, the twitching of his lips as he sat and looked at me was the unasked question. What to tell him? Everything I had heard with no prevarication! He sat quiet and attentive. It was only when I finished he breathed deeply.

"That person is evil!" he said with emphasis. "I will not give him the favour of calling him a man nor even a boy! He tormented Timmy! He was cruel to that fine horse! How could he hate George? These other schemes? If I could ever be part of his downfall it would be a pleasure!" He was silent for a moment. "That is wrong of me to say that. It would be a duty!"

I had not heard my Robin be so vehement. I knew more. I had heard Black Jack's confession of depravity at the other school. George had also confided the ill-treatment he had received when younger. I could not break that confidence. I would not, but had to say something.

"Robin, I know even more but have pledged that my lips are sealed. Believe me, there are things he has already done which make me fear for what might come in the future."

"To harm George?"

I nodded. "His family and any connected I would say."

He leaned over me and held out his arms. We hugged. "We must be vigilant," he whispered.

As we sat close so our spirits lightened, or would have done apart from the fact we were somewhat sad that our first visit to France was soon to end. We did practice more French as Robin retrieved Les Fables d'sope from his bag and carefully unwrapped it. We were soon engaged with the tale of the crow and the pitcher - 'La corneille alt‚r‚e trouva la cruche qui contenait un peu d'eau... The bird was thirsty we read and could not reach the water so dropped stones into the pitcher until the water could be reached. We liked the moral: 'Necessit‚ est la mŠre de l'invention'! We thought that moral would stand us in good stead!

We agreed two of the other fables had morals which were worth remembering. 'Le LiŠvre et la Tortue' told of the Hare who boasted he had never lost a race. Thinking the Tortoise was stupid he went to sleep so the Tortoise won for when the Hare awoke he was too far back to catch up. So even plodders win the race! I think my favourite was 'Le Reynard et le Corbeau' where 'un corbeau ayant d‚rob‚ un morceau de fromage alla se percher sur un arbre'. While sitting in the tree a fox praised the raven on its beauty so the stupid bird cawed and the piece of cheese fell out of its mouth and the fox pounced on it and ate it. 'Ne vous laissez pas ridiculiser par la flatterie!' I would have to make sure I was not misled by flattery.

Time passed most agreeably and between us we had dealt with new words, most guessed at, different tenses and that strange quirk of the French describing things as either masculine or feminine. Why was Robin's violin male, 'le violon', and my flute female, 'la fl–te'? But then, in Greek and Latin we had also to distinguish those things which were neuter such as 'journey': 'odos' or 'iter'. Why did people make things difficult? 'Difficile', 'chalepos', 'difficilis'?

There was a rap on the door. The twins had come to gather us for dinner. They laughed when we said we had been practising our French because what we had heard on our journey was often quite incomprehensible. They said they found the same when they visited villages in England with their father for often the accent and the dialect words made them confused. Martin shrugged his shoulders when Robin asked him about 'masculine' and 'feminine' with 'le' or 'la'. He said you never thought about it as you learned the two parts together. Alain was more earthy as he said the violin was shaped like a woman's body which was feminine and my flute was like Martin's skinny pizzle but was much longer and more masculine so he agreed it was stupid. He got a thump for that from his brother!

We had to compose ourselves before we went downstairs as the pair kept vying with each other over lengths by holding up their hands either two inches apart or four inches and so on. More mirth erupted when Robin said 'miraculous springs' and pointed at a small statue of a naked Hercules displayed on a table near the top of the stairs. Like all Greek and Roman statues, Curly included, Hercules seemed rather small in parts. Alain said perhaps he should be dipped in the water as well. We had to stop while I recounted my brother's lies about stroking Curly and making him smile. I didn't say about the hair powder for I might need that ploy sometime! Four boys then solemnly stroked Hercules' small appendage. We shook our heads for he neither smiled nor became erect, which Martin whispered would happen to him and we others each concurred with a laugh. Alain said he was probably shy in showing himself to four well-equipped young men, but he would caress the poor man each time he passed. We looked at Martin who averred he would, too! I glanced at Robin who was mouthing 'well-equipped'. I could but agree with him!

We were joined that evening for dinner by Monsieur and Madame Cordevoir, the landowner and his wife. If the two sons we had met before our journey were battle-scarred then Monsieur beat them handsomely. He had a scar which ran from below his left eye to his chin, a complete finger was missing on his right hand and he limped. Nothing was said at table about his appearance but the twins did enlighten us when we went up to bed. Although he was now a settled landowner, having inherited from his father, in his early days he had been to sea and the facial scar was the result of a fight when at the port of Marseilles. The limp was caused by a fall from the ship's rigging and the finger was removed when a wound got infected. However, even though it was difficult to understand his heavy accent we found him to be a most jovial fellow and his wife was plump and jolly, too.

Mr Johnson was most interested in Lancelot's encounter with the monks and had received one of the flagons of the liqueur which was opened after our superb dinner. The main course had been coq au vin with a rich sauce which had had brandy added. Of course, the liqueur added the crowning touch to our visit. Lancelot said he had almost all the herbs which were needed for the distillation of the College liqueur and he was almost sure the two liqueurs were the same or very similar in composition. The two herbs he had not been able to find were a type of gentian and a particular camomile. Mr Johnson said he would enquire and would make sure he received them in time for getting them to the College or where the distillation would take place. There was also the question of the brandy also needed. That was not a problem according to Mr Johnson there were supplies of the particular one Lancelot had noted in his warehouse in London.

Well-fed and tired we made our way to bed. The twins followed us into our room and said they would be making sure we left France in the morning as we had both said how much we had enjoyed being in their country. They reminded us they were half English so had the best of both worlds. Of course I had to work out I was a quarter French and Robin was even less but he still hopped like a frog. I was roughly handled by all three of them and had my trousers and underclout removed and my arsecheeks slapped. There were remarks then as part of me responded and I was uncharitably compared with someone else the twins had seen and admired! Our dear Jabez! I just said they were jealous as I was some two years younger than them and was still growing and matched them even now! What could boys do but make a comparison? Robin and I had to concede defeat but it was a matter of a finger's breadth so there were sneers all round and another comparison. Alain won this time on both speed and distance! We all bundled into our bed and slept the sleep of the just!

I was barely awake when Martin and Alain crept out of bed as dawn broke and a cock crew somewhere. "We must go to our bed," Martin whispered as he rolled out past me.

We had to wake early anyway as we had to drive to Calais for the ten o'clock packet. I had no time to choose my gifts but four parcels were ready for Robin and me and Mr Johnson shook his head when I offered him my gold piece. "You have kept my ruffians out of my way," he said laughing while the pair made snarling noises behind him. We thanked him most profusely and he said he was more than rewarded by all the information Lancelot had been able to give him about possible supplies of wine and other goods. What we hadn't realised was that Lancelot had been asking questions at each of our stops and had written almost each day back to Coquelles with news of what he had found. It wasn't only the monks and their liqueur! He had also refused the offer of at least half the barrel of Monsieur Fontane's wine. He said he would make sure he purchased some just on our most discerning recommendation.

Our coach to Calais was almost as laden as on our arrival except for one important item. That had been safely delivered to a suitable resting place and Lancelot's quest was complete on that matter. We now had baskets of herbs for him to deliver back to the College in return.

Not only had a close friendship been made between Robin and me and the twins but there were very fond farewells made by Rowley Roberts and Mr Johnson's coachmen, Claude and young Pierre. Both Robin and I gave Pierre a hug as well and Lancelot was most lavish with coins for the pair. It only remained for us then to board the boat with all our bags, chests and baskets stowed away. It was another fine calm day as we were informed by the purser, a large bluff Englishman, and it was strange to hear our own language again. There were many passengers but Lancelot, as usual, made sure we had seats in front of the smokestack and none of us ventured below. Jabez seemed a little distracted and we joshed him that he was sad leaving a place flowing with wine. He did retort and said that he knew all about miraculous water and it would only be of use to remove the big sooty smudge on Robin's snout! Poor Robin rubbed his nose in response but, of course, there had been nothing there.

As forecast the journey across the Channel was smooth other than a slight swell which did upset Rowley somewhat. He averred he was not a sailor though he had to endure swaying and jolting when driving a coach. Lancelot said again that poor Lord Nelson was always seasick on every voyage so he was in good company. Jabez had wandered off but returned with the buttery boy and his tray and we had a bottle of ale and a bread sandwich each. Even Rowley devoured his and said he felt better.

We disembarked in good time and all our belongings were collected and placed on the train which stood waiting. Two hours and a half later we were in London and took three Hackney cabs to transport us and all our belongings to Charles Street.

No sooner had we arrived than Jabez disappeared again. The rest of us waited while Uncle Digby's grooms unloaded the cabs and claimed just our travel bags to take to our rooms to wash and change ready to meet my Aunt and Uncle again to take afternoon tea. This was almost like a miracle. All those miles travelled and we were in Charles Street by four in the afternoon!

As soon as Lancelot, Robin and I were clean and tidy we descended and were ushered by Paolo and Mehmet to the breakfast room. Jabez had still not reappeared and we were not yet to meet either my Uncle or Aunt. We didn't worry as there was a good strong tea and a multitude of cakes and pastries to satisfy a horde until dinnertime. We were just finishing when Mr Topping appeared and apologised for the delay in being greeted but there had been an urgent matter to be dealt with, however my Uncle Digby was now ready to meet us. As we left the breakfast room I saw Jabez and Mr Purrett walking rapidly away from my Uncle's study to the back entrance of the house.

Uncle Digby greeted us most heartily and once we were seated he wanted to know what Robin and I thought of France. I sat back and smiled as Robin said how much he had enjoyed all he had seen and done, even eating snails which made my Uncle laugh. I said the only disappointment was we hadn't sampled frogs. Uncle Digby's only remark was that delight would come in the future and it was only the legs which were eaten.

It was then Lancelot's turn but again I hadn't realised that he had also written to Uncle Digby as well throughout the journey. Uncle Digby was particularly interested in our meeting that particular Minister as he was responsible for internal affairs for the French government and said that it was particularly important there were good relations. The accord between the British and French governments was not always harmonious and it was always best to have good contacts. I was about to say I had spotted Mr Tuckwell as I realised he was probably a contact but Uncle Digby forestalled me by telling us that Jabez had been on duty for him and had been a faithful and good messenger. He said nothing but nodded at me so I knew other messages had been sent and received.

There was more news to come. He said that there were to be three marriages before Christmas. Dates were not as we had expected. My cousin Rosamund and Geoffrey Lascelles were to be married in October, in London at the Chapel Royal. This was a disappointment for Robin and me as we would be at School. I wondered about George but said nothing. Uncle Billy and Lady Cornwallis would be marrying in November in the parish church in Kent where her nephew was the rector and, finally, Cedric Branscombe's second sister Arabella and Captain Bemrose would be married on Christmas Eve in Canterbury Cathedral. He smiled as he said he was sure that Jane Branscombe and Sir William Forbes would be married at Easter. Three Branscombe daughters married in less than a year at what expense?

There was no sign of Jabez when we left my uncle's study but it was now time to see my Aunt Fanny in the parlour. She was being divested of her bonnet for she had only just arrived back from a charity meeting and was 'dying for a cup of tea' so she announced. While we sat and recounted some of our adventures so Rosamund appeared. She had been to the music college for a piano lesson from Mr Bennett. Of course she was congratulated again and explained it was most convenient for the wedding to be on the date chosen because she and Geoffrey would be going immediately to Nice in the South of France for their honeymoon while the weather there was still clement. There had been a problem as Lord and Lady Harford did not have a residence in London. I did not dare look at Robin as we knew otherwise! She said this had been resolved for she then confided that the Duke of Cambridge had offered them accommodation in his house in Piccadilly so all were happy. I knew I wasn't as I wanted to see the ceremony when my cousin married. I did not pull a long face but smiled and hid my thoughts. As Rosamund had not heard any of our tale they agreed we should regale them all at dinner with the whole story.

My Aunt then said as the Season was now finished she would be travelling to Careby in the Wright coach while we made the journey back in the one we had travelled to London before our excursion to France. If Jabez was not wanted here in London he and Mehmet would ride on our coach with Rowley Roberts and Peters as our coachmen. I kept silent again as I wished dearly that Jabez and his friend would be at Careby at least until I returned to Ashbourne. I had a feeling that Jabez might be needed elsewhere.

There was a quiet dinner that evening with just the family at Charles Street. We would be staying one more day so a more formal dinner would be held the next night before our departure to Careby. There was some amusement as the early stages of the journey were described though we did not overplay our involvement with the would-be brigands. Aunt Fanny was particularly interested in our meeting the Fontanes both in Paris and Riom. Lancelot told of the kindness of the pair in Riom in allowing the burial of the ducal head. Very quietly I told of the errant daughter and her fortunate marriage, but the unfortunate death of her husband. I said she was now residing in Edinburgh at her parent's-in-law with her son which caused my Aunt to look startled. She was calmed after Lancelot confirmed that he had already written both to my sister Peg and a friend there to gather more information. I had brought down the painting of Agnes Le Ferreur and Aunt Fanny said she could see a definite likeness with my mother. There was much merriment as Robin and I described the dinner and concert at the Comte's h"tel with Lancelot adding the most complimentary comments about our performance. I had also brought down one of the ornamented vases which Mr Johnson had so kindly given me which I then presented to my aunt saying it was a present from all of us. She was so delighted she rose from the table and kissed all three of us, Lancelot, Robin and me, saying she had never seen such exquisite decoration. I think Lancelot was rather bemused as I had not told him beforehand he was included!

Mehmet and Paolo had served us at dinner under the watchful eye of Mr Pembridge. There was still no Jabez even when we went to our beds. We did not question Mehmet who was our valet that night but he was pleased he was to travel to Careby. I asked about his brother Karem and he said he was receiving more instruction at the Baths and would be giving my Uncle Digby his massage while he was away. He said that the device to clean the air had made a great difference for my uncle's health. I had noted at dinner he was breathing much more easily.

Jabez did reappear for I was fast asleep when he came into the room in the morning. Both Robin and I were woken quite roughly having the coverlet pulled off us and our bare arsecheeks smacked. "Up, up, my darlings!" he roared as he then set about tickling us so we squirmed and turned in the bed and each displayed that usual demonstration of growing boyhood. "I do believe some miracle has happened," he said standing away so we could not grab him, "Those French snails are rearing their little tentacles..." He held up the forefingers of both hands and wriggled them. "...c'est magnifique pour deux petits gar‡ons!"

We did grab him then and bussed him on his hairy cheeks and Robin tugged at his black beard. "I think we should find if he has shaved his bush and stuck it on his chin," he said, "The other was sparse and so is this!" As Jabez was most hairy down below it would have made quite a full beard!

We calmed down from our laughter and Robin slid out of bed and went to the water closet for he said he was in great danger of pissing himself. Jabez slapped his arse again and said it was impolite to use such language especially in the hearing of the servants. He was sure Mehmet or Paolo would be shocked if they had been present.

I sat on the edge of the bed and peered over to the hearth where our pitchers of hot water would be placed. There were none. "Bottom!" I said in a poor imitation of Mr Clements' stern tones, "You are in disgrace. Where is our water?"

Jabez lunged at me and I was on my back and was tickled again. I could not help it but let a great fart. Jabez jumped back. "Master Tom, you would have frightened those brigands away better than any pistol shot. I will suggest to your Uncle you should be set bare-arsed on the roof of the coach to protect your Aunt on her journey to Careby."

Robin had returned from relieving himself. "I doubt if Aunt Fanny would wish to look on that. Perhaps he might be better employed as a figurehead on a ship and could terrify any pirates with a volley of farts."

"'Figure-arse' you mean," the knave replied and the pair danced up and down while I shook my fists at them.

When they quietened Jabez pointed to the water closet. "Your turn, young sir, as I have a little news to impart." I was more than ready as my bladder was full. I tried not to be too long but there was an amount to void. I would have to ask Lancelot if measures of intake and output had been made.

Two bare-arsed boys and a liveried Jabez sat on the settle. He looked at me. "I do assume you have told Robin of my tasks?" I nodded. "There is a little more to tell." He took a deep breath. "When we boarded the boat yesterday I was sure the woman who had been with the girls was there. That was why I left you and I found she was alone. I watched her disembark and she went to where the London coach would be leaving. As we were travelling on the railway I knew we would arrive in London long before she would so my first duty was to inform your Uncle. He immediately sent Mr Purrett and me to observe the woman as she left the coach for Mr Purrett would recognise her. That was why I was absent last evening. I had been correct. It was the woman and we were able to follow her to her destination. It was a substantial house in a most respectable road." He smiled. "There are watchers now in place to observe."

"You are very observant," Robin said. I could but agree.

"I must not be in London now in case I am also recognised, but my reward is to ride to Careby!"

Two more than happy boys turned and hugged their friend.

To be continued:

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