Uc Hollywood

By clio cazzimiei

Published on Jul 24, 2009

Gay

So, this new chapter as promised will be guest-written by Mitsaso, and it is, of course, hilarious and kinky!!!! Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I don't know the true sexuality of any of the celebrities mentioned.

Guest-author's Note: Hi guys! This is Mitsaso, writer of the universally unknown "Slutty X-Men" over here in Nifty! I love this little world that Cliomiao has built, so I thought I'd be a part of that for one single chapter! This time we're getting everything from the point of view of the unseen protagonist of this fic! :-P Hope the change of pace doesn't dissapoint you!

Previously on UC Hollywood:

Finding out that her love interest, Chris Evans, had been sleeping with evil Chad for quite some time, Rihanna decided to sleep with geeky Adam Brody and get over him! Did she, though?

Meanwhile, Paris Hilton's quest to turn virginal Britney into a filthy hussy is still in progress! And last but not least, Justin and Ryan finally managed to have buttsex, by locking Ryan's evil cock-hating cat Hotpussy in the closet! But what happen when the cat comes out of the bag--eeeh, the closet?

Chapter 17: Hotpussy's Quest For Dick

Starring: Justin Timberlake

Ryan Philippe

Rihanna

Britney Spears

Chad Michael Murray

Paris Hilton

Chris Evans

Adam Brody

Tom Welling

Fergie

Monica Bellucci

and Hotpussy as Herself

-HOTPUSSY! NOOO!- Ryan screamed as he saw his evil cat lunge at his boyfriend Justin. With a swift move, he threw the sheet between Hotpussy and Justin, saving his lover's dick from certain doom! The evil cat tangled herself on the sheet and fell on Justin, and they both fell behind the bed.

-Help me, Ryan! She's still trying to attack me!-

-MHHHHOOOOWWWWRGH!!! "I can haz cock?"- Hotpussy thought to herself.

Ryan tried to get Hotpussy off Justin, but to no avail. She was trying to dig through the sheets and into poor Justin.

-What the hell is wrong with you, girl? Why do you hate cocks so much? They're not freakin' mice!- he told his cat, then suddenly...

DING DONG!

-Someone's at the door!- Justin said. -Open up! Rihanna was supposed to come over this morning. She can help us get rid of the cat!-

Ryan promptly opened the door, only to find Fergie, of all people, behind it.

-Hell-o, there, handsome! I just thought you could use some of my brownies, which I totally baked and didn't buy from the convenience store next door, by the way.- she flashed him a seductive smile.

Ryan looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights. What the hell was she doing there?

-MEOWR!- said Hotpussy, as she got off Justin and ran out of the open door and right under Fergie's feet. "Screw dose guyz. I'll find cock elsewhere!"

Sadly for Justin, Hotpussy also took his sheets with her.

Only then did Fergie notice that Ryan was naked. And that this queer, Justin Timberlake, was also naked and hiding behind the bed.

-Have you guys been fucking?- she asked, and her brownies started falling towards the floor.


Hotpussy ran through the corridors of the dorms, thinking about where to go next. Since her owner actually managed to have sex and she didn't have the chance to attack any cocks there, she had to find what she needed elsewhere.

Thankfully, she knew just where to look for it. She had been around the campus many times now and she had a knack for smelling the cock from far away, for instances like this one when she couldn't actually smell something she had another place to help her locate cock.

So, once more, she visited Headmistress Bellucci's headquarters.

UC Hollywood's Headmistress, Monica Bellucci, was a very mysterious woman. The students rarely saw her and realised who she was, and her contact with the facutly was never beyond the very basic and necessary functions in order for the University to work properly. Most people didn't know that she was quite young for a Headmistress and very beautiful, like out of a fairytale.

A kinky and bloody fairytale, at that.

Headmistress Bellucci was addicted to the arts of voyeurism and sadomazochism. Hotpussy had discovered a small hole at the back of her walk in closet where she kept all the dominatrix costumes, and through that she'd enter her loft. The closet was usually open, since the only other people to enter the house was in order to clean it or have the dominatrix collection used on them (or both). Through that, Hotpussy would enter the large voyeur room in which Monica had installed three dozens of plasma screens, attached to hundreds of secret survaillance cameras that the Headmistress had installed all over the campus, in a way that the plain eye couldn't discover them.

And there, Hotpussy found Headmistress Bellucci lying on her large armchair, dressed in a leather baby doll, with a remote control on her hands flipping through all the cameras, deciding what to watch. An appletini was resting on the coffee table next to her, untouched.

-Oh, here, kitty kitty.- Monica said when she saw Hotpussy entering the room. -Haven't seen you for days...- she extended her hand and Hotpussy started rubbing her back on it, purring with pleasure. Headmistress Bellucci was always nice to her. Sometimes, Hotpussy would visit her during an S/M session, and Monica would use her as an extra kinky torture tool on the cocks of her mazochistic boytoys...! So you could tell that their relationship was one of mutual goals and understanding.

Hotpussy rolled up next to Monica on the couch and watched her peeping tv screens for about an hour.

She started thinking about Ryan, her pretty owner with the nice big cock she was used to watch all those nights. Then she remembered his new boyfriend, Justin, and puked out a furball in disgust.

She hated Justin with all her feline heart. Not only because he had stolen her boss away, but because she also bit his dick the very first day he came into the room. And Hotpussy was very good at characterising people from the taste of their genitals. Justin was no man, he was a whimpering little girl, who sighed after Ryan all the time, behaved like an innocent little boy and sucked cock like the oldest whore in Texas! She had watched him when he did the nasty with Wade and knew what a little slut he was. Ryan deserved someone like Paris instead... now Paris was a great gal! Hotpussy would watch her walk in the room and would smell her regality. Not to mention that she was a woman, so they didn't have a cock overload in the room. From now on whenever Ryan will be doing it with Justin, Hotpussy won't know where to focus!!

Suddenly, Hotpussy noticed something in one of the screens that snapped her out of her thoughts.

One of the cameras was showing Chris Evans, that young hunky criminology professor, trying to unlock the door to his apartment. But the real interesting thing was the two shilouettes making their way behind him, in the dark.

-This has potential to get interesting- Monica said and zoomed in the picture for better view.

Hotpussy walked closer to the screen. Just as Chris unlocked his door, one of the silhouettes pushed him inside and locked the door behind them!

Chris fell face first on his bed, and a woman dressed in all black got behind him, got two pairs of handcuffs off her pocket and cuffed both his hands on the bedhead!

"Who are you? What do you want?" Chris yelled at the woman, helpless on his bed.

Rihanna took off her hood and exposed herself to her professor. "I just wanted to know. How do you get off flirting with me for such a long time, when you were secretly fucking your assistant all the time!?"

"Miss Fenty..." he whispered in shock. "It's... it's hard to explain."

"How hard is it to explain that you're just plain gay?! I would have simply hooked you up with my friend Justin and thusly, you'd still stay in the "family"."

"It's not that simple." Professor Evans regained his composure. "I like girls. But I have a small problem. I'm sort of a sex addict. When someone fondles my dick, I'm gonna end up fucking them, no matter if they're a man or a woman."

"Good." said Rihanna and started fondling his dick.

Knowing what was to come, Hotpussy got up from where she was sitting and ran out of the room.

"Ma che diavolo... What got into that cat?" Headmistress Bellucci said to herself with semi-indifferent curiosity. Then she grabbed a bunch of strawberries dipped in whipped cream and ate them as she kept watching the spectacle.

Hotpussy ran back through the hole she entered the loft and descended to the main university building, then she exited that too and headed to the building across the street where most of the professors resided. She remembered that Professor Evans' apartment was in the third floor, so she climbed up her way to the balcony of his pad. Trying to make her way into the apartment, Hotpussy just had to peek through the glass, only to see that things had quickly escalated... Rihanna was already taking her revenge on Professor Evans, but not the way Hotpussy would have expected.

"Sex addict my ass!" Rihanna yelled, as she pounded Chris' meaty ass with her strap on. "You're just fucking gay, and the way your asshole is devouring this plastic cock is the proof!" she added and then she started slapping his juicy, melons.

"Please... don't stop..." Professor Evans was begging between her thrusts.

"You know what, your logic is flawed..." Adam Brody said, as he came forward through the shadows, also dressed in a skintight all black costume. Hotpussy assumed that he must have been the second silhouette that she saw in the camera.

"What do you mean, o secret lover of mine?" she asked him, as she watched her black plastic cock slipping in and out of Professor Evans' pink little asshole.

"I mean, you might be screwing his ass with a strapped-on dildo, but you're still a woman, so what he's doing right now is relatively straight-ish."

Furious, Rihanna fucked her crush's butt harder. "What do you know? The geek is right!" she mumbled. "Let's make things right, then. Come closer, Adam, pull your third leg out and shove it in the faggot's mouth."

Adam looked at her with shock. "WHAT? I... I'm not comfortable doing that. I'm not gay, you know. You know what, I shouldn't have let you drink all the wine that was in my fridge. I thought it would make you horny enough to put out for me, not a psycho gay-lusting strap-on dominatrix!"

"It's just a blowjob, silly boy! Don't be so closed-minded!" she rolled her eyes. Secretly, she just wanted to humiliate Evans so bad she's invite a cow in that bed if any was available.

"Me? Closed-minded? I would think that the fact that I not only allowed you to fuck another man, but also came in here to help you get it done would prove that I'm very open-minded." Adam complained, a tinge of jealousy in his voice. Hotpussy could tell that the cute geek wanted a real relationship and not the brainless sex that Rihanna used him for.

"Prove that you're open-minded. Prove it and you'll have your first anal sex tonight." Rihanna raised her eyebrows seductively.

"Really? But you never allowed me to pound your butt so far!" Adam asked with enthousiasm. He walked over to Chris' head and pulled his soft cock out in front of his professor's face.

"Wow, Mr.Brody. Didn't know you had so many hidden talents. I will have to re-evaluate you as a student." the professor said, but as he had his mouth open, Adam took advantage of it to shove his floppy dick between the older hunk's lips.

Chris moaned around his student's huge flaccid dick. He had done many extreme sexual things in his life, but he had never been used as the bitchboy. He had been missing on a LOT of fun! He started bobbing his head up and down on Adam's dick, feeling it grow longer and harder in his mouth. All the time, he fixed his blue eyes on Adam's face, looking at him as he serviced his big cock.

Adam's cock grew so large and so quickly, that Chris Evans couldn't contain it in his blowjob lips anymore. The big veiny cock slipped out of his mouth, bounced up and then came down on him again, gloriously slapping the length of his face and leaving a trail of saliva and precum on his lips and cheeks.

Just by looking at that view, Adam found himself struggling to keep his breathing in normal levels.

As Rihanna kept going gung-ho at his ass, Chris pressed his face into Adam's pubes, inhaling his scent. "Mmmm, chicken" he murmured. His hands stroked up and down Adam's warm, slightly muscled thighs and up onto his firm, smooth twinky ass. This was one hot geekboy and he was ready to be devoured. Chris opened his mouth and let that juicy cock fall onto his tongue again, savouring the excitement juice that had leaked out of it.

His experienced tongue swirled all over the warm cock head, causing Adam to yelp in delight. Chris' fingers dug into Adam's shoulders as more and more of his boner disappeared down his teacher's throat. "Damn! Dis guy can suck cock!" Hotpussy thought to herself. She needed to get in there as soon as possible.

Chris' warm mouth and horny tongue took Adam close to the edge several times. Each time that happened Adam would pull right out of his mouth to prevent himself blowing off too soon and Chris would grab his thick cock by the base and blow on the spit wet crown, sending shivers of delight coursing through Adam's body. Hotpussy could tell that "str8" Adam liked it much more than he was supposed to. There sure was drama to follow, after that night...!

And then once more Adam's cock would be taken into Chris' mouth and those big hands would be stroking his thighs, massaging his butt cheeks and fondling his balls, repeating the cycle once more, while in the meanwhile the drunken woman behind them would keep fucking Chris' ass, making his knees tremble in ecstasy.

"Make his cock slick with your spit, bitch." Rihanna pulled Chris' soft hair. "It's time for your final punishment."

"Mmmmm..." Chris moaned.

"Honey" she turned to Adam, "time to fuck the ass that I promised you for tonight... Scoot over here so that we can double penetrate him!!!"

"Yeahbuhwhat?!?!" Adam looked at her like a deer caught in the head lights.

"You heard me. Let's give this slut what he really needs in order to discover himself..." Rihanna insisted.

"No way! I'm not putting my dick in a dude's ass! That's gay!" he complained.

"And having him suck your cock dry ISN'T?" Rihanna raised an eybrow and gave him the hard truth. "Come on, baby, join me in fucking this delicious ass and I'll allow you to do me up the butt anytime you want afterwards..." she started bartering.

Adam forgot about the man slurping on his big floppy dick for a second, and started pondering on Rihanna's proposal...

Chris Evans simply made it easier for him. Dislodging Adam's cock from his mouth, he licked his way up to the boy's pubes, bellybutton, his nipples, his neck, and finally grabbed him into a full-on tongue kiss.

Adam was shocked to be so suddenly kissed by a man, but after a second or two he lost himself into it. Professor Evans was such a great kisser... Then Evans broke the kiss and whispered in his ear: "You do what miss Fenty says, and I'll give you an A+ in my class, maybe even have you replace Chad as my assistant..."

The geek in Adam woke up again and his eyes lit up with amazement. "Let me have some of that ass!" he said to his girlfriend, who in turn grinned mischeviously.

Soon, Rihanna was lying on her back with Chris sitting on her cock facing the other way. Adam scooted over there and lied next to them with his asshole practically kissing Rihanna's butt and his cock lining up next to her plastic dick. Chris reached with his hand and grabbed the real, fleshy cock, adjusting it closer to the plastic one and eventually pushed it until it slid in his ass slowly and painfully.

"Fucking fuck!" Chris screamed. "This is the BEST thing in the WORLD!" he said as he started frantically bounding up and down on the double dick in his juicy butt.

Chris bent over and started making out with the hot and geeky Adam, making Rihanna furious enough to pound him harder with her strap-on. Adam himself wasn't really moving, he was just lost in the plurality of sensations and just allowed Chris to move on his cock and slide his tongue between his lips, which hadn't kissed another man before that night.

Very soon, the slightly inexperienced Adam managed to surprise himself. Being inside a guy's ass suddenly felt so outlandishly hot to him that he felt he couldn't hold it anymore; so he started shooting his baby batter up his professor's asshole.

Feeling the younger man's sperm coat the insides of his ass, Chris Evans was also brought to the brink. "I'm fucking cumming" he said, and he started shooting cum between his abs and Adam's heaving, glistening torso.

Professor Evans collapsed right on top of Adam, trying to catch his breath.

"You liked it, didn't you, you little bitch?" Rihanna said with a hiss as she pulled out of her professor's bunghole. Slapping his juicy melons once or twice, she started pulling him from Adam. "I guess he's learnt his lesson, honey. Let's beat it."

Hotpussy was watching carefully at the time, and from the little thing she noticed afterwards she really doubted Professor Evans has really learnt any lesson whatsoever. After all, as he and Rihanna were walking out of the door, she saw Adam looking back at Chris with newfound curiosity, and Chris, lying naked on his bed and wearing nothing but his sweat, definitely shot him a very lustful look that seemed to state "This isn't over..."


Having failed to infiltrate Chris Evan's room and attack the cocks in there, Hotpussy decided to call it a night and return to her home.

However, on her way back to Ryan's room, she thought she smelt something familiar... and she followed the scent to make sure it was what she thought it was!

After a few minutes, she reached the door of the room that she remembered it belonged to that nice girl, Paris Hilton! But the scent of cock that came from inside didn't seem to be that of Ryan...

Was she cheating on him? No way, after all Ryan was doing it with somebody else, too, so this must have not been the case. Maybe Paris just had a new boyfriend. But, then again, the other scent that came from inside didn't seem to be the one she always associated with Paris...

As she got closer to the door in order to make out any informative sounds, Hotpussy realise there was a smaller pet door on the door, probably for Paris' stupid dog, Tinkerbell, who had passed away a few months before. So she took advantage of it and made her way inside.

What she saw once she reached the bedroom shocked even a wise and all-seeing cat like herself!

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do? What if Paris walks in on us...?"

"Don't worry, babe, every time Paris is doing her usual Tuesday shopping spree at the mall next door, she doesn't come back until dawn.... or even midnight!"

"Paris likes to shop at Tuesdays?"

"She shops every day save for Saturday. That's her mani-pedi-day!"

Hotpussy had a stroke of genius as she heard those words. Instead of attacking the cock currently at her disposal, she could simply do something different and cause more mayhem and fun times!

She ran out the impormptu cat door and to the nearby mall. After circling around the first floor, she went up to the second and instantly saw Paris trying on every single thing they had at the D&G store.

Hotpussy walked over the the bimbo's feet and started meowing and pawing at her silver sandals.

"What the fuck does this alley cat want here? I thought this was a high-class store!" Paris yelled, kicking poor Hotpussy away.

"I'm sorry, Miss Hilton!" The bewildered girl that was attending to her needs apologised.

"Oh I'll show you 'sorry'!" Paris threatened, throwing a 200$ pair of pumps at the strange cat. "Just make sure that thing doesn't get its fleas on me!"

That last comment made Hotpussy really angry. She promised herself that she'd make this stupid human miserable by the end of the day. But first, she'd have to get Paris back to the house another way. Pawing and calling for her to follow her back home only worked in stupid Disney movies featuring stupid dogs. A cat like her would have to find another way.

Hotpussy pretended that she ran away for Paris, waiting for the moment she'd let her guard down. Then, suddenly, she pounced on Paris and scratched at her shoes, cutting up the lace that held the sexy sandals together. In mere seconds, both sandals were destroyed!

"Noooooo! Fucking flea-bag!" Paris screamed. "Those sandals were a gift from my greek ex-boyfriend!"

"Which one?" the employee asked, not realising her possible rudeness.

"How the hell should I remember? I'm drunk off my ass every time I date someone! Now get me those pink pumps over, I'll wear them on the spot!"

Realising that destroying her shoes wasn't enough to make Paris return home earlier, Hotpussy had to cross a line.

Now, cats are not fond of peeing in front of humans, or in the open at all. They need their sand to make do. But Hotpussy had to go the distance here. She climbed up the shoe-showcasing shelves next to Paris, took aim and started peeing on the spoiled rich girl!

"What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" Paris shrieked.

Hotpussy didnt have to wait for any reactions. She immediately ran back to Paris' room. Paris would now either chase her back there or just return by herself to have a shower.

And Paris did deliver! In three minutes time, she stormed in the room and she was so pissed off, that initially she didn't even notice her boyfriend Tom Welling and her protege Britney Spears doing the reverse cowgirl on her own bed!

"You guys wouldn't believe what happened to me just now.... that fucking cat just p.... waaaaaaait a minute! What the fuck is going on here?"

Britney went red like a lobster at being discovered. This was not how she dreamt of losing her virginity. "Hiiiiiiii, Paaaaaaariiiiisssss...." was all she could mutter.

"You BACK-STABBING WHORE!" Paris screamed and pounced on her, only for Tom to slip in between them and hold her away from Britney.

"Hey, hey, stop it Paris! This is not her fault! She came over here to see if you'd guys go shopping together and was hurt to find out you went with your frenemy Nicole instead! I tried to console her and one thing led to another...!"

"My ASS it did! That fucking bitch was going after your cock since day ONE!" Paris yelled and made an attempt to grab Britney from the hair, but instead she just got a handful of wig.

Brit was now exposed, her almost bald hair glistening with sweat. But instead of panicking and apologising, she had suddenly discovered a bitchy nirvana, and started talking things that made sense. "Yeah, I guess your little makeover project backfired, didn't it, Paris? You wanted to change me and get me to lose my virginity, having a little laugh at my expense as you made me more like yourself every day... well, guess what, you made it! I'm now exactly like YOU!"

"You DARE talk to me like that? You piece of white trailer trash!" Paris said as she whipped poor Tom, who was in the middle of all this, with the blonde wig.

"I'm the trailer trash? Well YOU'RE the one that happens to smell like piss!" Britney retorted.

"Oh, snap!!!" Tom intervened. "What's up with the piss smell, anyway?"

"Never you fucking mind!" Paris said as she finally broke her way through him and managed to tackle Britney on the floor.

"Take THIS, virgin baldie!"

"Eat it, whore!"

"Cock beggar!"

"Ha! You're a horrible lay, bitch!"

"What?" Paris stood up. "Who said I'm a horrible lay?"

Britney got up and barked at Paris' face. "Tom told me! He told me as he was fucking me sideways on Tinkerbell's memorial plaque!

Paris got so pissed off she started pulling on her own hair. "WHAAAAAT?!?!? YOU.... CUNTING... CUNTS!!!!" she yelled and went for Britney's eye, but Tom got in the way and held both girls from tearing each other apart.

Hotpussy eyed up Tom's ginormous floppy dick, as its flaccid 10 inches bounced up and down, while he tried to keep his balance between the two psychotic bitches.

"Dis iz teh time to shine, Hotpussy!" she told herself. "Go for da cock!"

Hotpussy took aim and pounced at the Holy Grail of donkey cocks, all claws extended and ready to find their target.


The voices and the sounds that came out of the screens were horrific.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEE! MY DICK! MYDICKMYDCIKMYDICK!!!!"

"MEAAOOOOOWWWWRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!"

"NOW I'LL GET YA, YOU CUMGUZZLING SLUT!"

"SUCK MY BALLS, CORPSE LAY!"

Headmistress Bellucci lounged further back on her classy couch, grabbed her favorite year of Chianti and turned up the volume.

"Ah. Meraviglioso! Fun times at UC Hollywood. Must be Tuesday...!" she whispered to herself.

To be continued...

Mitsaso: haaaay! Finally, Hotpussy gets her 15 minutes of fame! Hope you didn't hate them! Thankfully, Cliomiao will be back next chapter with the normal flow of the story, so goodbye from me! If you realy liked this chapter, then I guess I can pimp out my own story here on Nifty, "Slutty X-Men"! You can write for feedback at Cliomiao (cliomiao@hotmail.it) or even cuss me out for tainting her fic (mitsaso@gmail.com) lol!! Check out Clio's other story "Angel Season Six" as well, it's sweet!

Next: Chapter 15


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