Under My Skin

By moc.liamg@dniotrecnoc

Published on Nov 4, 2009

Gay

This is a work of fiction. All the resemblances are completely accidental. Don't read it if you are not supposed to. You know the drill. My e-mail is ConcertoInD@Gmail.com if you want to tell me something (insults, praises, and whatnot). Thanks!

  • V -

The next day I felt beyond weird. I couldn't believe the amazing feeling of freedom that kept washing over me in sweet, almost nauseating waves. Christy and I walked home after school and when we got to the front door of my house, I stopped and took a deep breath. I stood still for almost ten minutes, trying to calm myself down but my hands kept shaking every time I would think of my father. Today he wasn't home and I was beyond grateful for that.

"Okay, come on", I breathed finally and Christy nodded.

I turned the door knob and frowned. The door was locked. My mother never locked the door before. I almost rang the bell but then remembered that I still had my keys. I started looking for them.

"Wouldn't surprise me if he changed the locks", I muttered and finally found my keys.

The key worked just fine and I opened the door. We walked in and I froze when I saw my mother. She was sitting in the big chair in the living room, her face puffy, cheekbone swollen. She was holding a short glass.

"What happened to you?" I asked softly and she gave me a small smile.

"Your father got upset", she said, her speech slurry.

"Are you drinking?!" I asked in disbelief and she laughed bitterly.

"No", she said and hiccupped.

"Good God..." I muttered.

This was unbelievable. My mother drinking alcohol? It was almost as unreal as me falling in love with Alex. I shook my head.

"Whatever..." I muttered. "I am going to get my stuff."

"Jake", my mother said in a shaky voice. "You have to come back!"

"Right", I nodded and started to walk towards the stairs, Christy following me silently.

"Jake!" my mother cried. "This is ridiculous! Come home, say that you are sorry, beg your father for forgiveness and he..."

"No!" I said sharply without looking at her. "I will never beg for anything else in my life! And I am done with my father and you!"

She was saying something else but I ignored her and walked upstairs to my room. I opened the door and winced.

"Jesus", Christy muttered behind my back.

It seemed like the room was hit by hurricane. Every single piece of furniture was broken, including the bed. All my clothes were piled up on the floor, some of them were torn. It looked like my father was planning a huge bonfire last night but at the last minute he ran out of steam. Screw this, I thought and went into my closet. I found a couple of old bags and brought them out. I started to shove all my clothes in them and Christy kneeled next to me and started to help.

"Hey, Chris", I said quietly. "Can you get the books and whatnot? The ones that he didn't tear apart?"

"Sure", she said and got up.

Almost all of my books survived and I was surprised. Books would be easier to destroy than clothes, I thought. Finally we got almost everything and I straightened up and looked around the room. It was weird but I didn't feel any emotion right now. I thought that I would be at least somewhat sad to leave this place behind but it seemed like I could care less. I shrugged and picked up the bags.

"Let's go", I said and we went out of the room.

When we came downstairs my mother was standing by the front door, clutching her glass which was refilled. She was slightly swaying on her feet.

"Jake", she said the minute she saw me. "I am not going to let you take a single step out of this house..."

"Get out of my way", I said quietly.

"Go ahead", she sneered. "Hit me... Come on, Jake! Hit me!"

"I am not my father", I said tiredly. "I will never hit you even though you used to beat the shit out of me."

She didn't even seem to notice the bad word. She leaned against the door and shook her head.

"You are not leaving this house, Jake..."

"Yes, I am", I said patiently. "And there is nothing you can do about it. I am eighteen, remember?"

"You are not leaving this house", she repeated stubbornly and I sighed.

I sat my bags on the floor and walked up to her. She winced when she looked into my eyes.

"Move", I said and she shook her head. "Fine then..."

I easily picked her up by her shoulders and she let out a surprised squeak. I moved her away from the door and picked up my bags.

"Let's go, Chris", I said and opened the door.

"Jake, please!" my mother cried. "Jake!!"

"Bye, mom", I muttered and she started to sob.

Christy helped me to put all my stuff away when we got to her house and when we were finally finished she looked at me and bit her lower lip.

"What?" I asked.

"It's about Amber", she said miserably. "I know, I am being awful right now but..."

I rolled my eyes.

"I will ask her out", I said. "I promise."

"Well, that's the thing..." she said uncomfortably and my heart filled up with hope.

Oh dear God, please tell me that she lost all her interest in me and found someone else, please God...

"I was wondering if you could maybe ask her out tomorrow?"

Oh crap, that's right. I forgot that God has given up on me. He was probably laughing His head off right now. I sighed.

"Why?"

Christy looked even more uncomfortable, a thing I didn't think was possible.

"I was wondering if we maybe could do like a double date on Saturday..." she muttered and I stared at her.

Ha-ha, very funny, God. Hilarious, really.

"A double date?" I repeated weakly.

"Yeah... Remember how I told you that Alex and I are going out?"

"Uh huh..."

"Well, this is really weird but I am so nervous... I don't even know why. I never got nervous before but when I just think that I'll be out there with him all by myself, I get this weird feeling..." she shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, Jake. It's weird."

Yup, Alex Landon is good at making people of both genders feel weird. Sounded to me that this particular crush was serious for Christy and I felt like beating my head on the wall.

"Okay", I said with a sigh. "I will ask her out tomorrow then."

"Oh Jake!" she hung on my neck. "I love you!!"

"I love you too", I muttered and hugged her.

The next day I felt almost sick every time when I would even think about asking Amber out. Finally I just gritted my teeth and walked up to her. I never cared much about this girl. She was pretty, Christy was right. Her hair was auburn red, she had a nice looking slim body, her eyes were very blue. She wasn't a supermodel or anything like that but she was really pretty. Her personality, however, was making me shudder. Amber was the type of a person who would start laughing like crazy in the middle of a funeral. It was almost as if she had a talent to say or do the wrong thing at the wrong time. She was always very straight forward which I actually liked but almost always her being straight forward turned into just plain being rude. I remember how one of the girls in my class - Melissa - was telling us about how her mother decided to take karate lessons and Amber just snorted and said: "She is going through mid-life crisis. Your mother is just plain stupid." I thought that Melissa was going to stab her in the eye with her pen. Amber always said stuff like that and as a result she would always hang out by herself. Nobody would even sit next to her in class. And now I had to ask her out.

I was walking up to her, thinking that for everything Christy did for me, I'll happily jump off a bridge if she asks me. A date with Amber Leigh didn't seem like such a big deal.

"Hey Amber", I said lightly and she looked at me.

"Hey Jake. Christy told you to ask me out, didn't she?"

Ugh. Why couldn't she just stop with "Hey Jake"?

"Yeah", I shrugged.

I figured I'll be as straight forward to her as she was to me. She smiled at that.

"So you wanna go out or not?" I asked.

"Do you?" she squinted her eyes.

Oh for crying out loud! Now we are going to play twenty questions?

"Yeah, sure", I shrugged.

"Okay", she smiled. "When?"

"How about tomorrow night?" I couldn't help but think that spending the entire evening with Alex will be awesome even though he'll be with Christy.

"Okay", she said again.

"Umm... Christy and Alex gonna go with us", I said. "It'll be like a double date."

"Oh", Amber shrugged. "Sure, that's fine."

"I'll ask Christy for details and I'll call you, okay?"

"Okay", she nodded. "Do you want my phone number?"

"Chris has it", I said and Amber's eyes narrowed.

"Tell me", she said and I almost sighed. "What is it with you and Christy? You guys are always together, it's crazy!"

"We are best friends", I shrugged. "We've been friends since kindergarten. Now we live together."

She stared at me and I realized how it sounded.

"I mean, I stay at her place temporarily. Until I find a job and a place of my own", I said quickly.

"Why aren't you living at home?" she frowned.

"I got kicked out", I said lightly.

"Kicked out?" Amber repeated. "Aren't you like this crazily religious boy who like worships his parents?"

I wanted to thump her on the head really hard. Or tape her mouth shut. Or both.

"I used to be", I sighed. "Things change."

Amber shrugged.

"Whatever", she said. "Talk to you later."

And she walked away. I almost laughed. Good Lord! Tomorrow night is going to be interesting.

Next: Chapter 6


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