You're Not Better Than Me

By Jonathan Perkins

Published on Aug 18, 2024

Gay

Eric and Bart enjoy being back together again, baring their souls as to what happened when they were apart. Then tragedy strikes revealing more about the relationship with Bart and parents. A familiar face coming back in Eric's life portends trouble for the boys.

This is a fictional tale of sexual relationship between two teenage boys. The characters are made up and are not based on any person, living or dead. You must be eighteen to read this story. If it is against the law where you are to read stories like this you are kindly requested to leave and not read this story. It is only a fictional story for your reading pleasure.

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Copyright 2024 All rights reserved.

You're Not Better Than Me

Chapter Nine

Eric invited Bart to come back to his house and tell him all about the European trip. Bart looked at his Mother who smiled and nodded her head. Eric's mother gave the same non-verbal agreement. The boys sat side by side in the back seat. Instead of Bart's usual statue like stature, he was very relaxed, sitting with his legs spread slightly, a little slouch to his posture and one arm draped over Eric's shoulder. Eric slowly moved his hand over and put it on Bart's thigh. Eric's mother was asking Bart about his time in Europe.

"In some ways it did not live up to my expectations at all. But the scenery was pleasant and the Christmas activities were very unique to the area."

"I've always wanted to go to Europe. Maybe someday we'll get there."

"For what it is worth, I am happier to be home than over there."

The boys were silent the rest of the way home, turning and smiling at each other frequently. When they arrived at Eric's house, his parents stayed in the car.

"Eric, we have some errands to take care of. Will you and Bart be okay for a couple of hours?" his father asked with a smirk.

"I think we can manage by ourselves. If we need anything, I'll call."

"Thank you for meeting us and giving me a ride, Mr. Brown," Bart offered.

"My pleasure," he answered, then looked at Eric's mother and said quietly to her, "Now its there turn for some pleasure."

She gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and told him to drive.

The boys barely made it in the front door before they grabbed each other and locked their mouths together, arms and hands flying all over one another. Their jaws eventually got tired so they took a break.

"You're being awfully rude, you know?" Eric said with no emotion.

"I am sorry. Did I do something wrong?"

"Your shoes?" Eric said pointing down to Bart's feet. Eric had kicked his shoes off while they were kissing.

"Oh, I did not realize it was a custom in your house as well," Bart apologized as his quickly slipped of his shoes. He started to reach out to pull Eric back in for more kissing but Eric held him away.

"And . . ." Eric said with a grin.

Bart wasn't sure what Eric meant. He was perplexed for a minute until Eric continued.

"The socks."

Now Bart caught on. Eric was doing the same thing to him that he had done to Eric at his house. Bart pulled off his clothes as fast as he could, standing naked in front of Eric.

"Well, I think you are overdressed for the occasion," Bart pointed out.

"The occasion?"

"Yes, my welcome home party."

"I didn't get you anything for Christmas so I thought I'd let you unwrap this," as Eric held his arms out to his side.

"I am sure I am going to enjoy this present."

Bart exercised great restraint in slowly undressing Eric. He took his shirt off and ran his hands over his chest, pinching his nipples.

"Ouch, don't damage the merchandise," Eric blurted out.

"Oh my, I am sorry. I will kiss them and make them all better."

Bart lowered his head and kissed Eric's nipples, first one and then the other. Then he went back to the first one and flicked his tongue rapidly over it, then moving to the other one. Bart slowly lowered himself to his knees, giving Eric stomach a kiss on the way by, then sticking his tongue in his belly button.

"That tickles," Eric said trying to squirm away from the wiggling tongue.

"You are upset if I hurt you and you are upset if I tickle your fancy. Make up your mind," Bart teased.

"As always, you can do whatever you want with my body as long as you don't draw blood or leave a scar."

"That surely does leave me a lot of leeway to explore and enjoy, does it not?"

Bart undid the top button on Eric's pants. Continuing his slow and methodical strip tease, Bart pulled down the zipper but left the pants hanging on Eric's hips. He reached between his legs and massaged the bulge in his pants, a hard cock wedged to one side. Bart pulled the pants down to let Eric's boner swing free. He picked up one leg and then the other, removing the pants and underwear completely. Bart took Eric's cock in his hand, squeezing it and beginning to move his hand back and forth. Eric moaned in delight at being back with Bart this way. Bart moved his mouth in and engulfed Eric. Eric moaned again, louder and longer. He suddenly stopped and pushed Bart away.

"What is the matter?" Bart asked.

"We have to talk."

Bart stood up, looking nervous.

"Do you not want me to do that to you? Or do you not want me at all?" Bart asked, his eyes getting wet and red wondering if his absence had changed their relationship.

"I want nothing more, but we have to talk first. Get your clothes and let's go to my room."

Bart followed, his clothes bunched up in his hands, worried that despite the emotional reunion am hour ago, Eric had moved on.

Eric sat on the bed and patted next to him for Bar to come and sit beside him. Eric took Bart's hand and lowered his head.

"I have a confession to make."

"Whatever it is, I forgive you," Bart blurted out, trying to hold their relationship together.

"Just be quiet and listen."

Eric told Bart about traveling to spend Christmas with his cousin and her family. He told him about the trip to the mall with his cousin and her friends and meeting Tanner.

"Crystal went with her friends the next day and left me at home. Bored and lonely, I called Tanner just for some company, nothing more."

Eric stopped and took a deep breath.

"Go on, Eric."

"We went for a drive and Tanner ending up giving me a bj. I'm so sorry I cheated on you."

"Is that all? I can totally understand the way you felt. You had no idea if I was ever going to come back to you."

"My cousin came on to me the night after we went Christmas shopping. She said I was her hero and she wanted to reward my bravery."

"Your bravery? Is there more to tell?"

"Well, sort of."

Eric filled him in on the robber with the gun and the move Eric made to stop him.

"What? Are you insane? You could have let him just run past you but instead you put yourself in danger of being shot again, maybe dying this time?"

"I really didn't think about it. I just acted on instinct."

"Eric Brown, I forbid you to carelessly put your life in danger again! Do you hear me?"

"You forbid me?" Eric asked with a little anger in his voice.

"Yes. I almost lost you when you got shot saving me then I almost lost you when my Father stole me away to Europe. And now this? I don't want to lose you. I couldn't stand to be without you ever again."

Bart leaned over and hugged Eric as his tears began to fall.

"Bart, I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I will have to give this some thought . . . okay, you're forgiven." Bart smiled.

"Don't joke around, this is serious."

"Not nearly as serious as you have made it out to be in your mind. I would have done the same thing in your shoes."

Eric picked up his head and turned to Bart.

"Did you get together with someone while you were away?"

"I had opportunities, a lot of them. I could have bedded my 'betrothed', a slut one year younger than me who would fuck a dog in the street is she found one. Our bodyguard who would take on any male or female who would give him the time of day. Oh, and the cute bellboy who wanted my body more than he wanted a $50 tip. But none of them would have made up for not being with you. I stayed chaste, having faith in eventually getting back to you."

"Man, you make me feel like shit right now."

"Let us make a pact. We will put all of this behind us and only refer to this in the future as 'that time' without going into any more details."

"I like that."

"Good. Now can we get back to what I like?" as Bart reached for Eric flaccid cock. "Now do you see what you have done with all this maudlin chatter?"

"I'm not absolutely sure, but I think you can make it all better again."

"I know I can," as Bart move off the bed and got between Eric's legs.

Bart took Eric's soft cock in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. It was coming back to life, the more he worked it, the harder it got.

"Mmmm. You fixed it. Thank you," Eric purred.

"My pleasure. Literally!"

Bart continued to enjoy Eric's boner, milking it every now and then to get a taste of precum. Eric pushed Bart away before he shot his load.

"My turn."

"But you have not reached your climax yet."

"I don't want to, yet, I want to keep switching back and forth so we can make this last as long as we can. We have a couple of months to make up for in only a few hours."

"A few hours now, but then tomorrow and forever after that."

Eric switched around and naturally found Bart's cock rock hard and leaking profusely. He licked it clean like he was licking an ice cream cone, not wanting to miss a drop. Then he swallowed as much as he could, Bart murmuring and holding the side of Eric's head.

The continued for over an hour, switching back and forth, edging each other. Finally they were ready to finish.

"Let us switch around and do each other at the same time. It will be a splendid way to climax."

Eric scrambled to get in position so they could suck each other. They only lasted no more than a minute before both boys convulsed in a long awaited orgasm, filling each other's mouths to overflowing. Eric swung back up and gave Bart a kiss with a mouth full of white salty cum mixing with his own cum in Bart's mouth.

"I ate some exquisite foods in Austria, but I think I like home cooking the best," Bart commented.

"The meat was tasty but the white sauce was suburb."

The boys had a good laugh then hugged and kissed some more. They decided they better get cleaned up and get dressed before Eric's parents got home. The boys were sure the parents had a pretty good idea of what they were up to but it would have been embarrassing none the less to be caught with their pants down, literally. They were in the kitchen when the parents arrived.

"Bart, would you like to spend the night?" Eric's mother asked.

"I would love to but I think I should go home. My Mother and Father were not getting along too well and I would like to be there for my Mother."

"Of course, I totally understand. As soon as you're ready, I can give you a ride home."

"Thank you. Eric, I'll see you in school tomorrow?"

"You/re not going to take a couple of days to settle back home?"

"No, the sooner things get back to normal, the better I will feel."

"Okay then, see you tomorrow."

Eric hugged his parents in a group hug then went up stairs to take a shower while his mother took Bart home.

Bart was like a rock start at school the next day. Everyone was approaching him with well wishes, high fives, and a lot of questions about his trip. Eric stayed in the background and enjoyed watching Bart be the center of attention. Mr Philips came along to move everyone to their homerooms then spoke to Bart.

"Welcome back, Bartholomew. I didn't expect to see you back here. I assumed that when you came back from Europe you would be returning to the boarding school."

"I would like to make this my school, permanently. I am trying to convince my Mother to allow me to transfer here and stay through graduation."

"That's wonderful. We'd love to have you with us. If there is anything I can do to help convince your Mother, let me know."

"Thank you sir, that is very generous."

As they headed towards their homeroom, an excited Eric caught up with Bart.

"Did I hear that right? You're going to be staying here and not returning to the boarding school?"

"I am trying to convince my Mother that I would be much happier here. I should know her decision in a few days. Naturally my Father is stead fast in his opposition."

"Your Mother brought you home from Europe, so I'm sure she can keep you here if she wants to."

At lunchtime a senior and his buddies approached the boys.

"Hey look, the faggot friends are back together," the ringleader said.

His posse all laughed.

"Are you addressing my friend and I?" Bart asked.

"Yeah, you and you queer friend."

Bart looked at Eric who shook his head to tell Bart not to engage them.

"Now why on Earth would you mistakenly assume that Eric and I are homosexuals?"

"The two of you are always hanging together, you know like boyfriends or something."

"We are friends, quite good friends for sure . But your hypothesis leading to that conclusion is badly flawed."

"What the hell did you just say?" the ringleader asked.

Eric saw Mr. Philips watching from a doorway behind the group. The had no idea he was listening.

"He said you don't know what you're talking about, dickhead," Eric answered with bravado.

"I merely think you protest too much," Bart told them. "Look here, my good man," Bart said as he saw two of our friends approaching. "Ralph, you and Barry are usually waking around school together, am I right?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Are you gay?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Then why do you hang around with him?"

"Because we're friends, just friends. Got it?" Ralph answered firmly.

"Of course, I apologize," Bart told them.

They shook their heads and walked off.

"Now, I'm sorry, I did not catch your name?" Bart said to the ringleader.

"The name is Butch. What's it to you?"

"I just want to know the name of my accuser. Now Butch, I always see you and your friends walking together, not only during school but walking home after school. Does that mean that you are all gay as well? When you leave school do you walk to one of your houses and engage in homosexual activities until your parents come home?"

Eric could see Mr. Philips snicker but also got ready to move to break up the ensuing fight.

"We ain't no gays guys, we just friends, that's all!" he yelled

"Ah, I see." Bart turned to Eric, "What the term I am looking for? Oh yes, you are all just friends, bum buddies as it were."

"I oughta rip your head off, you gay fucker!" as the ringleader curled up his hands into fists and took a step forwad."

"So if you are now pronouncing me a 'gay fucker' does that mean you are intimately familiar with how two boys have sexual relations together?"

The ringleader just stood there, not having a comeback for Bart.

"If all you have is your unsubstantiated assumptions, I would suggest you do not cast your aspersions in our direction."

The ringleader for some reason unclenched on of his fists and covered his crotch.

"I'm not sure what you said, but I'm going to make you eat those words."

At that point Bart took two steps forward and got inches away from his face.

"I said, fuck off you brainless buffoon and leave us alone!" Bart said through gritted teeth..

The rest of the bunch backed up when Bart stepped forward. The ringleader just held his ground but with a 'deer in the headlights' look on his face.

"Let us proceed to class, Eric, before someone sees us with these imbeciles and makes another wrong assumption about our sexual prefernces."

Bart walked around him and headed to class. As he walked past Mr. Philips, he nodded and silently mouthed, 'Well done'. He walked the other way, making sure the group didn't turn back and follow Bart and Eric.

"What the hell, Bart? You tell me not to do anything dangerous and then you challenge the toughest kids in school? Not smart."

"The only way to contain bullies is to confront them. After that interaction, not only will they not bother us again, but everyone in the hallway now knows we are not a couple."

"I suppose it was worth the risk."

"I did it for you, Eric. I do not care if everyone here knows I am gay. But you have not come to terms with your sexuality yet so I do not want anyone to consider you anything but straight. We are good friends who enjoy each other's company. Straight friends. Until we are behind closed doors."

"You make it sound like I'm ashamed of you. I'm not, you know."

"I know. Nor am I of you. But the less people know for now, the better. Don't you agree?"

"I suppose. Just no more confrontations, okay?"

"Agreed. I know you have your job to attend to this afternoon so maybe Friday evening we can get together, possibly another sleepover?"

"It sounds great to me. I'll have to check with my parents but I think they'll be on board."

The next few days went by quickly as the boys anticipated the weekend sleepover. The bullies passed them a few times in the hall but gave them a wide girth.

Bart's Father had spent most of his time in his office since he returned from Europe, even having his meals left outside the door for him. He and his Mother assumed he needed some time to lick his wounds from the aborted scam his so called friend was perpetrating on him. Thursday was rainy and gloomy, one of those days where you would be in a depressed mood for no good reason. Bart's Father came out of his office at 9:00 that evening and told Bart's Mother he was going out for a pack of cigarettes even though he hadn't smoked in years. Although out of the ordinary, no one saw any cause for alarm. He took the Suburban rather than bother with the limo. When he hadn't returned by 11:00, Bart's Mother got concerned. She assumed he had gone out to meet some young boy for an anonymous gay tryst. She was not going to put up with this behavior anymore. She got a phone call and was told there had been an accident. She should come to the hospital right away. She woke Bart and the two of them hurried to the hospital, not knowing what to expect.

Had he been enticed to meet somewhere secluded and was mugged by some gay bashers? Was he buying his cigarettes and the convenience store was robbed and he was hurt in the commotion? So many scenarios ran through her mind.

They entered the lobby of the hospital and meet the sheriff who was waiting for them.

"Good evening Mrs. Worthington, Bart. I'm so sorry to have to meet you again under these circumstances."

"Yes, good evening sheriff. Where is my husband? Is he okay?"

The sheriff lowered his head and spoke in a hushed voice.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Worthington, but your husband was in a bad automobile crash out on Bailey Road, outside of town. By the time we got him here, he had passed away."

Bart's Mother gripped Bart's hand to steady herself. Bart wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I can take you to see him. He is still in the emergency room," the sheriff offered.

"No thank you. There is nothing I nor anyone else can do for him now. I will have someone call for his body tomorrow. Let us go home, Bart, I have calls to make and arrangements to be made."

"Yes, Mother."

The sheriff was dumbfounded. Her husband of almost eighteen years dies in a terrible car wreck and she just walks away to attend to funeral details. No tears, no crying, no signs of grieving what so ever. Then he remembered Bart's Father being the same way when Bart was hurt. A strange family, a strange family indeed.

Bart called Eric the early the next morning before he was going to leave for school.

"Eric, this is Bart. I wanted to call you and tell you I would not be in school today. I have to help my Mother around the house. I did not want you to worry then I was not in school. Call me this afternoon."

"Sure, Bart, No problem."

Eric had no idea why Bart had called. Missing one day of school was not a big deal. If he were out for several days, then Eric would have been concerned.

Eric sat down to eat breakfast with his parents while they watched the local news on the TV.

'There was a fatal car crash on Bailey Rod last night. The driver lost control in the heavy rain and drove off the road into the woods. He was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. The name of the victim has not been released. We will have more details on the six o'clock news.'

"Damn, can you imagine that. Some poor guy is trying to get home in a downpour and ends up getting home dead," Eric remarked.

"Watch your language," his mother reminded him. "And he didn't get home."

"You know what I mean."

"We are never promised tomorrow so make the best of today."

"Good advice. Then I'm not going to school today. I'm going to go shopping and buy some new video games."

"You do and I'll see to it you come home dead," his mother warned him with a smile.

Eric entered the school and felt something was amiss. He couldn't put his finger on it but the other students were talking amongst themselves quietly, occasionally a group looking at Eric. Had Bart outed him? Is that why he didn't come to school? Eric said hello to some of his friends and say responded with a curt hello or a wave. Just then Mr. Philips walked up to Eric.

"I'm glad I located you. We need to talk. Come to my office."

He walked to his office with Eric in tow. They went into his office and he closed the door.

"Are you alright this morning?" he asked.

"Yes, I think so. Why shouldn't I be?" a perplexed Eric answered.

"As close as you and Bartholomew have been this year, I thought you might be upset."

That scoundrel! He did out us as boyfriends.

"I am, but I'll just have to deal with it," Eric replied defensively.

"There is a grief counselor available if you'd like to talk to her."

"I'm mad but I don't need to talk to a counselor. Everyone knows so I hope it won't make problems for us. I told him not to say anything."

"He didn't, Eric, the sheriff called me at home this morning."

"The sheriff? It's not illegal. Even I know that."

"Eric, what are you talking about?"

"Well, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Bartholomew's Father dying in the car accident last night."

Eric felt like he had been punched in the face, jabbed in the stomach and kicked in the balls all at the same time. That's why Bart didn't come to school this morning. Eric jumped out of his chair, ran over to Mr. Philips' desk and grabbed his phone. He dialed Bart's number but the call when right to voice mail.

'Bart, this is Eric. I just heard the news. Call me as soon as you get this message.'

He hung up the phone and stared at Mr. Philips.

"He doesn't know where I am. I have to go to his house right now. Can I have a hall pass?" he asked, not really thinking straight.

"I can't really give you a hall pass to leave school, Eric. Maybe we should call you parents."

"Good idea. You call them and tell them I'll be at Bart's house."

And out of the office he ran, through the entrance and down the street, running as fast as he could. It was several miles to Bart's house but Eric didn't stop to take that into consideration. He had only run about a quarter of a mile when he slowed to a walk. He had a major pain in his side. His legs were wobbly and his lungs were on fire. He was going to walk for a while until he caught his breath. A car pulled up next to him and a familiar voice told him to get in. It was the sheriff.

"Get in the car, Eric."

"I'm going to find Bart and you're not going to stop me."

"No I'm not. I going to take you to him."

The sheriff turned the car around and headed in the opposite direction.

"Bart's house is the other way."

"I know. But his Mother asked me to meet the two of them at the accident scene.

They pulled up to where Bart's Father had driven off the road. They was a wide swath of small trees and underbrush that had been uprooted leading to a large tree that had a area of bark scuffed off, obviously the tree that stopped the vehicle. Bart and his Mother were standing at the edge of the road, looking at the path the SUV took.

"You stay in the car," the sheriff told Eric.

"But I have to talk to Bart."

"No you don't. They asked me here to answer any questions they might have. They are not looking for company right now. Stay here or I'll cuff you to the steering wheel!"

"Yes sir."

The sheriff got out and walked over to Bart and his Mother. He took off his hat and spoke to them.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Worthington. If there is anything I can do, let me know."

"Bartholomew and I were looking at the sharp corner and the path the vehicle took. As hard as it was raining, it looks like he just didn't see the turn and ran off the road."

"Yes ma'am. I was going to have an accident reconstruction team out here to see what their conclusion would be."

"No need. It was an accident, plain and simple. Judging by the distance he traveled after leaving the roadway, we can assume that speed and the weather conditions were the contributing factors. You can close this case as an unfortunate accident."

"Yes, Mrs. Worthington, but I still have to do my due diligence on the investigation."

"I repeat, sheriff," she said with determination in her voice, "It was an unfortunate accident. Case closed."

The sheriff wasn't sure why she was so insistent, but he was not going to argue with one of the wealthiest and most influential family in town. Just then Bart noticed Eric in the sheriff's car.

"Do you have Eric with you?" Bart asked.

The sheriff explained how he ended up with Eric and made him stay in the car. Bart made a bee line for the car. Eric got out as he saw Bart running towards him.

"Bart, I am so sorry. I was headed to your house when the sheriff caught up with me."

"Thank you Eric, but there was no need in you coming out here."

"Bullshit! You should have told me this morning what happened. I was blindsided when I got to school."

"There was nothing you could do so there was no need in bothering you with this."

"No need? Bothering me? What the hell? I've told you so many times that I'm here for you and with you. Or doesn't that matter any more?"

"It certainly matters but this is a family matter. I will call you later."

Bart walked back to his Mother and helped her to their car. She looked at Eric and smiled then kept walking. The sheriff came back and got in the car.

"I told you they might not want you here this morning. This is a family crisis and they will deal with it in their own way. Wealthy people deal with tragedy differently that you and I do."

Eric didn't want to go back to school so he had the sheriff drop him at home. He went up stairs and lay on his bed questioning just how much he actually meant to Bart if he didn't want Eric to console him with the sudden and violent death of his Father. Eric thought about how he would feel if he lost a parent. He would be inconsolable. He knew Bart and his family controlled their emotions better than most people, but this was beyond the pale.

Eric eventually dozed off to sleep. He had a nightmare that he had died and he was roaming around school but no one cared that he was dead. Life was going on as usual with his passing being inconsequential. He tried to talk to his classmates but no one heard him or saw him. He woke up sweating, looking around the room and punching himself to make sure he was still alive.

We went downstairs to get some thing to eat. It was still several hours until his parents would be home so he was by himself. He had been by himself many times before but for some reason he had never felt this lonely. He decided he would go for a walk and get some fresh air. He opened the front door and jumped back. Bart was standing outside the door, he fist in the air, about to knock on the door.

"Shit! You scared me!" Eric yelled out.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to scare you. I am sorry about earlier today at the scene of the accident. May I come in and we can talk?"

"Of course." Eric said, standing to one side. He looked out the door and saw the limo parked at the curb.

"I will call for a ride when we are done talking, if that is okay?"

"Sure. I have no where else to be."

Bart waved off the limo and came in to sit on the couch. Eric sat opposite him in his father's easy chair.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"I am so sorry for the way I dismissed you this morning. I felt I had to but my Mother straightened me out when we got back in the car. I did no come earlier because I did not think you would be home. I assumed you would be in school."

"I didn't feel like going back and facing everyone. They were treating me like it was my father who died."

"I can understand that, as close as you and I have become."

Bart assumed his statue like pose, stiff back, knees together and his hands place in each thigh. Eric knew this posture and it didn't bode well for their conversation.

"With the news of my Father's death, I felt I had to assume the responsibility to be the man of the house. As much as I love you, it would mean putting you second in my life for a while. My Mother set me straight on that idea quickly. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was not to consider myself the man of the house until I was twenty-one years old. Until then I was a teenager with a lot of my youth to still enjoy. Enough of my youth had been wasted due to my Father's strict behavior. I have never heard my Mother swear, but her exact words were, 'Get your ass over to Eric's and make up with him. If you loose him, I will never let you forget it.' So here I am if you will have me."

Eric jumped up out of the chair and lunged across the room to land on top of Bart.

"Will I have you? Jesus, you're a dumb fuck," Eric laughed. "You can't get rid of me this easy."

Eric kissed Bart with a quick but passionate kiss.

"I know it had to be hard to loose your Father. I can't imagine how I would feel if something happened to my father," Eric said.

"That is the problem, my Father left me years ago."

Bart started to cry, then apologized.

"Shhh, let it all out. You need to grieve, Eric said to him.

"You don't understand. I am not crying because he died, I am crying because I rebuffed him when I was five. Until then he was very engaging with me, not in the traditional fatherly way. We didn't go outside and play catch or go fishing but he did spend time with me. We would go for long drives, pointing out large buildings and the businesses that occupied them and all about them. We would often stop for an ice cream cone on the way home. My Father's favorite past time back then was working on jigsaw puzzles. He started me working on age appropriate puzzles when I was three. He would take me into this office where he had a large table set up and I would work on mine at one end of the table and he would work on his 1,000 piece puzzle on the other end. It would take him days, sometime weeks, to complete a puzzle. Then he would break it apart and put it away. He never worked on the same puzzle twice. When I turned five, I had lost interest in putting together a puzzle just to take it apart and put it away. I told him I thought it was dumb, a complete waste of time. At that point I began to help my Mother in the garden, a more useful endeavor. That was the end of our relationship as a father and son. If I had not spoken so freely, I am sure our relationship would have been different. Shortly after that he stopped doing the puzzles and retreated to his office, letting no one in anymore."

"You can't blame yourself for something you said when you were five. You were only a kid and he was supposed to be the adult. If anyone's fault, it is clearly his."

"In retrospect, I learned that his puzzle fascination was a mirror of his life. Just as he spent many hours assembling the puzzles only to take them apart, he spent many hours trying to come up with a successful business deal that he could point to and say, 'See, I did that!'. But all of his grand schemes typically did not materialize as he planned or turned out to be bad ideas."

"And he took his failings out on you?"

"On my Mother and I. He shut her out when I starting spending my time with her instead of him. It was like we had ganged up to desert him."

"Sounds like he needed to talk to your shrink, not you."

"When Mother and I were going through his office this morning, I opened his laptop and was looking for some information to put together a death notice for the newspaper and write a eulogy. I discovered what had taken the place of his puzzle obsession. On his computer I found numerous eulogies he had written, a new one each year and dated January first of that year. Each one was different and gave some basic background on his ancestry, The fact that he left behind a wife and a son, but did not name us. Then it went on about his grand accomplishments before his death, none of which were real. This became his new way of dealing with what he considered a failed life."

"Damn, Bart, that's sad. Scary but sad."

"When we returned from Europe and Mother had been the one to expose his friend and business plan as a fraud, it was the last straw for him. He never left his office when we got home, having his meals left in front of the door for him to retrieve when the hallway was empty. When he announced he was going for cigarettes last night, Mother had a feeling it would be the last time any of us would see him alive."

"Oh my god! Are you saying he intentionally drove off the road to commit suicide?"

"Seems to be a family trait, does it not?" Bart said looking directly into Eric's eyes.

"But why didn't your Mother stop him if she knew he was going to do that?"

"See knew it would only put it off to another time and another place. She didn't want him to do anything like that at home so figured it was best to let it happen the way it did and not delay the inevitable."

"Suicide is taking the cowards way out. Hell, I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

"No, you are correct. I tried it when I felt I could not face the embarrassment of what I had done with you. It looked easier to take those pills than deal with reality."

"But you didn't go through with it, you were stronger than that."

"I was stronger because you gave me the strength. You came to see me in the hospital, not because you knew what I had done, but because you were honestly concerned for me and wanted to make sure I was okay."

"I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't then and I still don't"

"Are you kidding? The sneaking and the conniving and stories you made up to get into my room meant that you really cared about me. That gave me the strength to throw those pills away when I got sent home. "

"I'm glad you did."

"The little things that people do or say can have such a huge impact on other people's lives. Your visit to the hospital saved my life and my turning away from my Father's compulsion with puzzles may have cost him his life."

"Don't you even go there! That was like ten years ago and if he didn't say anything to you or try to make things right with you, that's entirely on him, not you."

Bart sat quietly for a few minutes, wiped his eyes and asked Eric is they could go upstairs.

"Sure. We have a couple of hours before my parents come home. We have time for anything you want to do."

"I just want to be with you, to hold you and know we are as strong together as always."

"We're not, Bart, we're stronger."

The boys went upstairs to Eric's room. As Eric was closing the door, Bart stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed. Eric smiled and took his clothes off and joined Bart.

"So, boyfriend, what would you like to do for the next few hours?"

Bart pulled Eric into a hug, wrapping his legs around Eric's lower body. He kissed him then pulled back and said softly.

"This is just fine."

The wake was held a few days later. Mourners included local and regional politicians and business people, the movers and shakers as it were. It was a display of men and women similar to Bart's Father. They had no personal connection to him but wanted to see and be seen with the rich and powerful. Bart's Mother was her gracious self and thanked each and every one for their condolences. What was surprising was the number of Bart and Eric's classmates who waited in line to pay their respects. Their outpouring of support affected Bart emotionally more than the death of his Father.

Eric and his parents went through the receiving line then found a place to sit. As long as the line was to get in, the sitting area was not crowded at all. The majority of the mourners came through, shook hands with Bart and his Mother and left, having fulfilled their objective of being seen and done what was expected of them. Eric had been looking at the beautiful flower arrangements that had been sent. He noticed one that was placed at the foot of the casket with a card that only read 'I am sorry'. It was a bouquet of blue hyacinth, a flower that typically is sent to convey a message of asking for forgiveness. Bart had told him about that flower on one of their visits to the Botanical Garden.

As it approached the end of the visiting hours, Bart's Mother came over to where Eric and his parents were sitting.

"I want to thank you for coming," she said, shaking the parent's hands. Then she turned to Eric. "I especially want to thank you for being there for Bart. He doesn't show his emotions outwardly but I know this has affected him deeply. A Mother can only offer so much so it is important to have a good friend like you who will stand by him."

"He has always been there for me as well."

The morning of the funeral was like a school holiday. There were more students in the church than they were adults. At the end of the ceremony, Bart and his Mother followed the casket, arm in arm, out of the church. For as much as they had been very stoic about their loss, the pain and sorrow showed on the faces more now than ever before. All else was put aside as this was the final goodbye. When the gravesite ceremony was concluded, Bart went to the bouquet of blue hyacinth that he instructed the funeral director to have at the cemetery and pulled one single flower from it. He gently placed it on the casket, he final gesture to his Father. Not having many friends to attend, Bart's Mother decided to forgo the usual repast and just thanked everyone for coming before leaving the grave site. They got in the limo and headed home. Just before he got in the limo, Bart held his hand up to the side if his head with the 'call me' gesture to Eric.

When he got home, Eric called Bart. Bart asked him if they could get together. He had the limo pick him up and they went to the Botanical Garden.

"Thank you for coming with me. I needed the peace and quiet that I have missed being here."

"I am beginning to enjoy being here as much as you are. Thank you for asking me to come with you."

Bart reached out and took Eric hand as they walked amongst the flowers.

"Things will be better from now on. Better for me and better for us. My Mother understands how we feel about each other and fully supports our relationship. Now we just have to decide what we are going to do about our friends at school."

"I thought we have talked about not saying anything at school?"

"I did not know if you had changed your mind?"

"I'll think about it but I still think we should keep it our secret. Remember, I'm not gay. I just happened to fall in love with a handsome boy," Eric snickered.

"You say the most contradictory things. Maybe that is why I love you," Bart smiled at him.

They walked hand in hand as Eric pointed out some flowers that he particularly liked. Bart would tell him the common name and the scientific name of the flower and some background on it. There wasn't a flower in the entire garden that Bart wasn't familiar with. They got back in the limo to drop Eric back at home. As they were approaching Eric's house, the limo driver raised the darkened privacy window between the front and back of the limo.

"He knows?" Eric asked as Bart moved to take him in his arms.

"He knows much more than he let's on."

Bart and Eric hugged and enjoyed a long and passionate kiss.

"Thank you for today. It meant so much to just be myself. I know I can always do that with you." Bart said.

"I like being with you, whether you have clothes on or not," Eric smirked.

For the next few weeks, Bart was slowly returning to his own self again, chatting with friends at school and having some naked fun with Eric after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Friday, Bart picked up Eric at work to bring him home.

"Hey Bart, how come you picked me up today?"

"I am not sure. Your mother called me this morning and asked if I could pick you up and drop you at home. She said she and your father had something they had to attend to this afternoon."

"I'm not complaining, mind you," as Eric reached over and gave Bart a kiss.

When they pulled up in front of Eric's house, the family car was in the driveway. Eric got out, thanked Bart and went into the house, calling out 'Hello' as he entered. His mother came out of the kitchen to meet him.

"We have a surprise for you," she said as she grabbed Eric's arm and dragged him to the kitchen.

Sitting at the table was his brother, Pete. Eric ran to him and hugged him.

"Damn, I didn't know you were coming home!" Eric yelled. He turned to his mother, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We weren't sure until this morning that he would get paroled. We didn't want to get your hopes up in case it didn't go through."

"Hey, little brother, I've missed you," Pete said with a tear in his eye.

"I've missed you. I still think you got a raw deal from that asshole judge."

"Language, Eric," his mother scolded him. "But I do agree with you."

"Yeah, he followed through on his threat to send me to county jail for not saying who the other guys were in the car. I explained that they picked me up and I didn't know the car was stolen and that I hadn't been drinking like they had. He was pissed when I explained that they were my friends and still would be long after he had long forgotten my name."

"Friends are important, good friends are irreplaceable."

"You said it. The irony was that after he sentenced me to six months in jail, my friends came forward to try and get me off the hook. The judge had a hair across his ass and refused to budge. He wanted to make an example of me. The real kick in the ass was he let them plead down and gave them suspended sentences and community service. But hey, it's behind me now. So what's been happening in your life?"

"Not much. I got kidnapped with a friend of mine, I got shot several times, and, oh yeah, I fell in love," Eric said in a matter of fact way.

"Kidnapped? Shot? Holy fuck! Why didn't I hear about any of this?"

"We didn't want to worry you. You had enough to deal with at the time," his mother explained.

"I want details, but first, I want to hear about your new love. I've always said you're cute and were going to snag the hottest girl in school. So who is she? Do I know her? When will I meet her?"

"Well, . . . that's a long story."

Thank you to all my readers who have sent comments and suggestions. I was remiss in addressing Eric's brother, Pete, who had fallen by the wayside. Several readers pointed this out and wanted to know what happened. Thanks to them, Eric's parents were able to get Pete paroled from his unjust jail term.

Keep your emails coming. I enjoy reading them almost as much as I do spending time with Eric and Bart.

Jonathan

Next: Chapter 10


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