All by Myself

By Paul R Consalvo

Published on Jan 29, 2009

Gay

This story contains sexual contact between teenage boys. This may not be legal where you live or it may be offensive to you, if so please leave now

all by myself

My name is Casey Jones, I am a sophomore in high school, and I am 5 foot 8 inches tall, I have sandy brown hair cut just above the collar with hazel eyes and a clear light complexion. I am not your typical student. I like sports but do not have the talent to play, I am smart but not a brainiac, I do, however, have one thing that I really like about school, I like to look at the BOYS, BOYS, and more BOYS, I am gay but not out yet it would certainly be almost and death wish if any one found out. So I watch the boys play football, baseball and basketball. I do, however, have one thing that makes my happy and that is seeing all that naked boys after gym class. Its like a schmorgasboard or a buffet. I can't touch but I can look everything over also sort of like Christmas window shopping. Do I like that.

I don't have very many friends and am scared to get close to any boy for fear of him finding out I am gay. I sit in class and try to concentrate an assignments but always start to to wander.

I have a pretty normal home life if you count being scared to death that I may at any moment be found out to be gay. I have no Idea what would happen, I really don't want to find out, I stay uncomfortably hidden the the closet. I know or at least hope that one day I might find someone that I could care for and that he would feel the same towards Me.

I woke up this morning with the thought that this was going to be another day just like every other day. I showered and got dressed went into the kitchen to have breakfast and as usual got the third degree from dad. I tried to play my way through all the questions but it seems like every day it just gets harder and harder. I finished breakfast and headed of to school. This is just like prison I get there and all I do all day is think about who I could get to be that one special person in my life, and like every other day i have no chance.

The first bell rang and off I go to first period and the day starts off quite smoothly. the day lingers on amd on and I am hoping that through some miralce I will finally see mister right. The thing is that he will never know. I am a caged lion waiting to strike.

When school was finally over for the day I went out and watched the team practice. I could go home and sit in my room and stare at the walls, however, watching the gives me a feeling of happiness.

I am so tired of living my live scared, scared of what I have become, scared of what to do, scared of how to act and most of all scared that someone may figure out my secret.

I am afraid of what I have to do but also afraid of what will happen if I don't.

Practice is over and I rush to leave before anyone sees me. I start my long trek home, Hoping that it will take me forever to get there then I will not have to put up with dads bombardment of the same old questions, I wish I could just blurt it out for the whole world to but that would be pure suicide.

I walk into the hosue and of course dad has to start about who I was taking to the dance. I so wanted to tell him the quarterback of the JV team but I am sure that that would be the end of everything as I know it. I ate dinner and then headed up to my room to do homework. When I finished I got on the computer and read a couple stories on Nifty and then it was time to get some sleep.

I had made it through another day, I was looking forward to the night, it was the only time that I could really be me. I tossed and turned until I finally dozed off and in my dreams I dreaded the call of the alarm clock.

That's it for chapter 1, Please let me know what you think email ma at spiderwick1@hotmail.com with your comments and feedback, I will answer all emails as soon as possible Thanks for reading my stories

Next: Chapter 2


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