This story is different than i normally write. It's a love story. My first.
I was going through some old boxes of things and found some adult magazines I used to have. I hadn't seen them in years. As I went through them I saw a wrapped package and there were a few more in there. But these were covered in plastic. The guy in the cover of them, I had actually met a few times. Before I knew who he was of course. But I always thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.
As I mentioned, I had actually met him a few times. It turns that we had worked in the same building. And it wasn't until sometime later that I found he was the guy in my magazines. This story is for him. A kind of 'What if' story about a guy I wanted for many years, but fate never made that fantasy come true.
This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.
Enjoy.... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ All for Terry (Chapter 37) ... Together Again ...
... Terry and I had a nice peaceful dinner. Talking very little save for how the food was. Even though I had said yes to trying 'us' again, my nerves and fears were still strong. And I wasn't sure what to talk about during dinner.
"Hows your steak?" I asked him "Good. How is your dinner?" He asked back "Good"
It was a bit awkward, but we got through it. I had several more glasses of wine to take the edge off. It helped quite a bit. It loosened me up more. And I needed it. We started to talk more. More about other things as we drank. Work and what has been happening in our lives since last we saw one another.
"So how is the industry?" He asked "Still busy, I hope" "Yeah. Arpi has me working on cruise only project" "It has helped keep me busy"
Terry looked at me and decided to delve into my being single.
"Too busy for any one else I take it?" He asked "Its not that" I came back. "Its keeps me busy so I don't think about anything else" "And..."
There was a long pause before I continued. Thinking to myself that I shouldn't say that he had destroyed me that much. That my heart was that damaged from his arrow. But it just came out. I couldn't stop my mouth from uttering my sad state after he broke my heart.
"And I just didn't want anyone else" I said as I lowered my head. "I only ever loved you."
I felt his hand reach for mine and grasp it in his. Squeezing it tightly. I looked up at him, fearing I may cry.
"Hey. Lets take a walk on the beach" He then said
I smiled and nodded at him. Then he called over the waiter and asked for the check. Saying we could talk as we walked. I agreed and then we grabbed our things and left. He was going to pay the bill, but I insisted. Stating that he has paid for much more and I wanted to do it. We least and then walked down and onto the beach the sun was on the horizon and about ready to sink into the sea. The glow through the distant sky was ominous yet beautiful. The lights from the pier were coming and and they bathed us in their brilliance. Terry stopped and suggested we sit on the sand. So we did. He instantly pulled off his shoes and drove his toes into it. Saying he loved the feel of it between his toes. I looked at his feet as we sat there. And it was the first time I really looked at them. I have always found that no one (at least in my experience) had attractive feet. In general feet are ugly. But as i looked at them then back at his face. And back to his feet that Terry for his part had probably the nicest looking feet I had ever seen. The pinky toe on each foot curled in almost delicately to the rest.
"Take yours off" he suggested "Just feel it 'tween your toes"
I did as he suggested and pushed my toes to the sand
It did feel nice. The cool almost damp sand felt almost soft as my toes ran through it. Then Terry turned to me and started to speak. I looked back at his stunning face as he did. Just exploring hid features again.
"I am glad you came out sweetheart" he said "Again. I am so sorry for hurting you" "It really was not my intention" "I did t know you had invested so much in me" "And I am an ass for not seeing this"
I tried to tell him it was okay. That I didn't know that he saw relationships in such a way. That he was just meat for all of them. I guess I would feel that too if I were him. But again, I am not. I am not the most beautiful man someone would lay eyes upon. To me, he was. Even now after everything. Terry was. But he stopped my speaking by adding to his words.
"No. I am an ass" he continued "I felt something deep for you as well when we were together" "But my dumb ass kept seeing the negative" "And it was to my shock that you had the magazines I have come to hate" "I know" I finally said "And I am sorry too" "I should have said from the beginning I knew who you were" "I was just afraid that what happened would have happened even before i had the chance.."
His hand reached for my face. Then his eyes gazed into mine again. The softness in them looking upon me. Then his hand stroked my face. Gently so. I was pulled into it and my eyes closed. His touch was all that mattered. And I wanted to fall into it and him. My head softly pressed to his hand. Into his palm. Feeling the warmth of it. And then the fire in my chest returned that ache that i knew was my love for him as it burned in my chest. I felt the tears start to pool out from my eyes again. And he saw this.
"Hey. I am sorry" he said again. "Come here"
He moved himself next to me and pulled me to him. Into his arms and embrace. I let him. I needed to feel him again. To feel his body next to mine. And Terry held me, holding me as I needed to be held. I felt his heat and I smell that glorious scent that was him. He and his delicious cologne again. The same smell that was on his shirt after all this time. I was now surrounded by it. His hand caressed my hair as Terry held me to him. His strokes gentle and slow.
"Its okay baby. Its okay" he said "I am here now." "I am here. And I won't go away"
I then felt his lips on my forehead as he kissed me there. I swear I felt faint from his embrace. It was beautifully wonderful yet overwhelming at the same time. The rich smell of his body infiltrating my skull.
"I made a mistake." He said again "And I will fix it" "I promise"
Then I felt his hand as he reached for my chin. He then gently pulled my fave up and I looked at him. I looked at his eyes. He saw the tears in my eyes. His hand stroked my fave again. My eyes closed again. Then he leaned in and kissed me. I felt his soft lips as the touched mine. And I gave into him and his actions. Letting him kiss me. But he did not push it though. It was the most tender and loving kiss I have ever experience. Soft and deep, yet short. He them pulled from me and gazed down at me. I opened my eyes and looked back at him.
"I do love you" he said to me. "I have never wanted to 'be' with someone as much as you"
I smiled through the teats still pooling in my eyes. He said he did love me. Something no one had ever ever said time. And I believed him. So of course I returned the phrase to Terry. Telling him again how much i loved him. How he had my heart from the first face to face meeting. His hand caressed my face some more as he stayed there looking at me as I spoke. And I knew there was nothing more wonderful than this mans touch. Then I leaned against his shoulder as we sat there for a bit longer. Just taking in the breathtaking sunset. Then he suggested we get out of there. To go back to his place and just relax.
"Let's go hime" he said "Its gonna be late and I want you to stay" "I hope you brought an overnight bag"
I did. From his first request the other day i had packed one. But still wasn't sure I should. I didn't want to go too far. Not when we were trying to reconnect. I started to say I should go home to my place. But he cut me off.
"No. I don't you to drive" he said "You insisted when I was at your place" "And so do it" "I will take no refusal" "Okay" I finally said
We first walked to his car and then he drove me to mine. I then followed him to his place. And i remembered i had never been to his place. He lived in a high rise condo. He told me where to park for visitors. And then he said he was on the 17th floor. 1710 was the apartment number.
"See you upstairs" he had said
I did sit there in the parking lot for visitors. Looking up to the tower he lived in.it was at least 20 floors high. So I figured he had a wonderful view from.his place. I sighed as I felt my heart ache again. I grabbed my bag and then headed into the building. It was a fancy place to say the least. Modern and shiny. The receptionist greeted me and asked who I was here to see. When I told her, she grabbed the phone and called up. I could here beyond her ear Terry voice on the line, telling her to let me up. She smiled and then let me head passed. She said what elevators to use and then I got in to it and then was on my way up. The elevator had glass panels to the one side. Then after the first few floors I saw trees and the outside.
"Holy shit!" I huffed "Look at that"
His buildings elevator had a huge window view if the city and even the ocean in the distance. Now I saw why the drive here seemed so short. I could see the ocean and lights of even the pier we had been at from where i was. I was astonished by it. I figured this place must have cost alot. I then thought of how meager where i lived compared to this. Then the doubts resurfaced. Doubts of my being worthy of this man. The elevator stopped and I looked out at the city again. To the south was high rises and to the north west was the ocean. 'Wow' I huffed as the door opened. I turned and was in a small open area. There was a short corridor in front of the elevator. Then two longer ones to the side. There was a plack on the wall with numbers on it and arrows directing you to the right direction for the apartment you wanted. His was to the right. A shorter corridor and then he was on the end and right.
"There it is. 1710" I said to myself.
I took in a breath and rang the bell. I heard a distant chime and then a voice beyond the door. "Coming" he called out. Then the door opened.
"Hi baby. Come on in" he offered ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ To be continued