This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Ben Hastings -- That's me!
Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad
Veronica Hastings -- My Mom.
Reyna -- My Best Friend
Ranj Kumar-- Another friend
Jared -- A football whore.
Sargeant Shipley -- High School Friend
Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate.
Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother
From Chapter 19:
When I was finished with both feet, he rose up and flopped down on top of me. He came near to kiss me, but the liverwurst and onions on his breath were too much. I gagged. "You hated the sandwich -- didn't you?" He pouted.
I nodded. "But -- I really like you! I might grow to love you - - if you don't ever breath liverwurst and onions in my face again!" He forced a kiss on me. I forced back the vomit, and it wasn't as bad as I thought.
Chapter 20:
We changed the channel and saw a rerun of "Six Feet Under." It was sometimes funny, but mostly it was maddening. The straight couple cheats on each other. The gay couple is always fighting! Stories like that are supposed to be reflections of life. Is that the way it is usually?
"I don't like this." Said Everett.
"Good! Me neither." I replied.
We turned MTV back on and I said, "Let's get dressed."
"You smell like sex ... maybe we should shower?" He suggested.
I smelled his breath. "And your breath still smells like horse shit! We definitely need to wash our mouths out!"
"You're just a little `I don't like it' boy! He said impishly.
"Screw you!" I laughed.
"Hey! I asked you to, but you refused! It's still not too late!"
We laughed and ran to the bathroom. We both brushed our teeth and gargled with Listerine. Then we hopped into the shower. As soon as the water was hot, we came together like magnets and kissed deeply with sweet tasting mouths and breath. We couldn't resist a quick mutual wank -- while we kissed, then soaped and washed and got out and dressed and sat down on the couch just as Ranj and Rex came through the door.
"We just had the best, mouth watering prime rib!" Said Ranj. "I bet you guys are hungry now!"
"I have an idea they found their own mouth watering meat!" Said Rex.
"Damn, Rex, you sound jealous!" Said Ranj. "I could accommodate you, you know!"
"Aw, stop it, Ranj," Said Rex, "you suck!"
"Rex! That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
"Let `im, Rexxy!" Everett laughed. "I bet you don't even have to do him back!"
"What!?" Said Ranj indignantly. Then he smiled. "Well -- maybe!"
Rex looked at us all. "Sounds awful gay to me!"
"I'll be real careful and not scratch you with my beard! You can close your eyes and pretend it's a girl!"
"Only -- no girl will ever be able to do it like a guy can!" giggled Everett.
"Damn straight! (If you'll excuse the expression!)" laughed Ranj.
"I think you guys are trying to pervert me! I'd have to be pretty drunk to - "
Ranj reached into the fridge and threw Rex a beer. "You look mighty thirsty, Rex! Better have a few of these to quench that kind of thirst!"
It was obvious Rex was looking for an excuse to let it happen as he immediately popped open the brewsky. He chugged it and Ranj threw him another. He asked for another and Ranj said,
"Nope! You got your excuse! I want you to at least feel it - - and maybe even remember it!"
Rex belched loudly and heehawed. "I'm glad your hung like that donkey you just imitated!" Said Ranj. Rex giggled.
"It's probably time to take it into the bedroom, dudes!" I said. They did.
Everett and I stayed out on the couch and watched a movie that had already started. We turned it up when the groans in the other room started getting louder. That worked for about a half hour until suddenly he heard Rex's baritone voice maoning really loudly.
We grinned at each other, but then we heard Ranj's voice start doing the same sounds! We couldn't turn the TV any higher without bothering the next door dorm. So we listened open mouthed at the two of them as they reached the peak of their mutual climax and then wind down.
I was at first smiling, but Everett looked sick. "Are you okay, Ev?" I asked.
"I didn't know I'd react this way to my big brother doing - - that - - with a guy. It makes me kind of sick. He was -- is -- supposed to be straight one!"
"Well, just because - " I started.
"No -- the way Ranj was yelling, Rex had to be doing -- something -- wild to him too. It's okay. It'll just take a little getting used to."
I switched off the TV and we went to our bedroom and tiptoed past Ranj and Rex's room. They were still both breathing very hard. We removed all our clothes, turned off the light and climbed into bed.
We both closed the gap between us and silently wrapped ourselves around each other. His body felt so good. Warm of course, but something more. He felt comfortable in my arms. Or maybe it was I that felt comfortable with him there. Probably both.
I kissed his waiting lips. At least I think they were waiting. I felt and tasted salty wetness on his check. "You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah." He said. "I guess I just never thought it would be this way."
"What way?" I asked.
"Everything's so confusing right now. I feel like I should feel badly for my dad. I do love him. But somehow -- I just don't feel that bad -- and that - " he laughed mirthlessly -- "that makes me feel bad itself. Shouldn't I care more about my dad going to prison?"
"I think you hit it squarely on the head, Ev. You're confused. Dang, in a week, you have met a new guy, we've had strong feelings for each other -- even had some sex. You've been part of turning in your own dad for sexual and physical abuse. You've been on an emotional roller coaster. Give yourself permission to fall apart, for crying out loud!"
"But -- but -- now that I know that Rex too is gay -- it seems like I feel I have to be stronger -- or something. Are all of my brothers gay? I don't know how to feel about that. It doesn't seem - "
"Ev -- stop! You don't know Rex is gay." I said
"You heard them going at it in there!"
"Yes, and so I assume that Rex liked what he's doing. That doesn't make him gay."
"Hrmph! Well, if not that, what else?"
"Okay, so maybe he is attracted to guys -- a little -- or maybe a lot, but -- doesn't he also like girls? And also, Ranj is very persuasive, he - "
"I HATE Ranj!"
"Why?" I said. "Ranj is like the port in a storm for a sailor, Ev. Your brother is the sailor, experiencing a major storm and Ranj is a very willing port for Rex to feel safe for awhile. Ranj is making your brother feel good when everything else seems to be falling apart around him -- just the way you feel."
We were whispering and so we heard a giant sob come from the other room. "You see, Ev? That was probably your brother. He's letting his emotions go. And Ranj is good at working with that. I know that better than anyone! Except now, maybe your brother."
Everett clung closer to me and buried his face in my neck. He too let loose a sob. But buried it in the pillow. He started to shake almost violently. I was worried about a seizure. "Are you - - seizing?" I said cautiously.
"No," he blubbered quietly, "I'm probably averting one. Hold me close, Ben, please?"
I did and he then let all his emotions out, again burying his face in the pillow so his brother would not hear him. "Rex is probably doing the same thing, you know."
"D'you think so?" Everett sobbed.
"I'll be right back." I said. I went out to Ranj and Rex's door and tapped lightly.
"Not now." Said Ranj.
I tried the door. It was unlocked. I peered into the dark room. "Is Rex okay?"
"Ben! Go away. No! He's - "
Rex turned to me and looked surprised. Then I remembered -- I was nude! "Rex, your brother needs you."
"Is he -- I mean -- is he -- okay."
"Yeah -- but he needs you -- I think as much as you need him." I said.
Rex sprang out of the bed. He too was naked. He threw on his Jockeys and ran past me into the other room. I went and sat on Ranj's bed.
"He was out of control." Said Ranj.
"I know. They need each other right now." I said.
"As much as I need you?" Said Ranj.
"This is not the time or the place, Ranj. And no -- that's not going to happen. I don't want to hurt you, but you don't seem to understand boundaries. I want to stay your friend, but that's probably impossible."
"It's not impossible. I'm sorry."
I believe he really was sorry. I also believe that he won't really change. "Do you have something I can put on? I don't want to disturb Rex and Everett." I said.
He threw me his shorts that he had on earlier. He went to the bathroom and I put the shorts up to my nose. His familiar scent, cologne as well as sex, was almost more than I could take. But I just took a long whiff, and then put them on. When he came out of the bathroom, he found me gone.
Ranj came out to the living room, where I had turned on some "breaking" news. The news station was reciting some old lies about missing weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as if it was news. I turned on a late afternoon rerun of the Tonight show. Jay Leno was dressed up like a fag. Then I saw why. It was a program where the "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" team redid his set - - and Jay himself. Even Ranj saw the irony in that.
Rex came out after a while and said Everett was okay now. I wanted so much to ask Rex about his experience with Ranj, but of course I couldn't. "Let's go back to bed, K?" Said Rex.
When I went back to "our" room, Everett was lying on top of the covers, with his hands behind his head. "You were right." He said.
"About what?"
"Rex isn't gay."
"Oh." I said. For some reason I was pleased, but I tried not to show it.
"He doesn't even think he's bi." Everett said. "I scoffed when he said that, but he said what Ranj was doing would drive any guy up the wall." He added. I decided to keep my opinion to myself.
"Do you think that's possible?" Everett asked.
Obviously chagrinned, I said, "You seem to know what I'm thinking, don't you!" It wasn't a question. Everett was smiling big-time. "What?!!" I exclaimed.
"Isn't that one of the signs of love - when one partner seems to know what the other is thinking?"
There really IS a big difference in maturity from 18 to 20! Sure, I love this kid. Who wouldn't? But -- he seems so easily led into immature -- or maybe a better word is premature -- conclusions. What bothered me was that there was a chance he maybe was NOT so immature. Maybe I was just a little bit gun-shy after falling for two guys already.
And though I'd never tell Ranj, I still ache to hold him.
"But my guess - " said Everett, " -- is that you're still out there with Ranj. Am I wrong?"
Damn! I let my mind wander too long - - and he got me again! "Ev, I think you could be right on. Even though we have such a wildly different upbringing, we still are so much alike in some ways." I tried to ignore the comment about Ranj. "And believe me -- I want to explore it more." I said.
Everett hopped up and turned off the light. He was still naked. It was still light outside, but the blanket over the window was still there. "Let's take a nap." Said Everett. "Rex said that Ranj is gonna order pizza for dinner, but for now, I just want to sleep - - and hold you!" I stripped and got under the covers with Everett. He spooned up behind me and I fell asleep feeling his boner pressed firmly against my backside.
I dreamed that I was floating. Not flying exactly but was floating, and Ranj was inches away, floating right over the top of me, sometimes touching me. His touch was cold, and when he was not touching me, there was like a cold wind coming from him. In the distance, I could see Everett, and he was coming closer. Even though he never got closer than across a football field, I felt warmth coming from him.
I woke up, I was hugging the side of the bed, my hand on the floor, and all the covers were off me. But Everett was hugged up close behind me, no longer sporting his wood. I snuggled closer to him as I pulled up the covers over both of us.
"Rex?" Everett said. Before I could answer and tell him I wasn't Rex, he said, "Why do I love Ben so much? He doesn't seem to love me." Then he started to mumble and said no more. I fell back asleep.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "You guys gonna sleep all evening? The pizza's cold but you can reheat it!" Hollered Rex.
As soon as we both awake, our boners came back to life. Everett reached around and squeezed mine -- once! "Guess we better get up!" He said.
"Seems like we already are!" I said. We both giggled, and popped out of the bed. We both put boxer shorts on. He had been wearing mine and I still had Ranj's. I covertly put them to my nose and breathed deeply. My wood flexed.
When we came out to the living room, only Rex was there. He looked at us, both our boners straining to escape the stained flies.
"You guys are disgusting! Put something on!" We giggled and ran back to the bedroom and threw on some pants -- but only after a long embrace and kiss.
When we went back out, Rex was already reheating the pizza for us. "Where's Ranj?" Said Everett.
"He got one of his mysterious calls."
"Huh?" Both Everett and I said together.
"Sometimes he brings them here, and other times he goes out -- that's all I can figure out." Said Rex.
"Are we talking about sex here?" Asked Everett.
"`Fraid so!"
"Ew!" Said Everett. "How could you - " He stopped cold at Rex's look.
"Ev -- He's just very -- um -- persuasive. I -- I mean he -- um -- He knows things that -- made me feel -- um -- better than anyone has ever done before."
"But -- aren't you worried about some kind of -- um -- disease or something -- if he does all these other guys?"
"I was careful, Ev. Not only that, but he insisted that I SHOULD be careful. I think he only does the team guys and some of their followers."
"How -- how many of the team?" I timidly asked.
"Easily half."
"But they're -- their -- football players. I thought -- I mean the macho thing and all." I marveled.
"Have you seen some of them?" Said Rex. They have faces only a mother - - and a coach - - could love! They aren't all like Steve Young, you know! And he knows how to get to them. They're not gay, I'm sure of it -- well, most of them. They just don't have very many hang-ups about getting pleasure -- from most anything. You have to admit -- this IS something -- better than drugs -- they can do that won't show up in a drug screening test!!"
"Wow!" I said, almost to myself.
"You still like him, don't you?" Said Rex. Everett snickered.
"Is it that obvious?" I asked. Both their eyebrows went up. "I have no intention of ever going back with him!"
"Well, for what it's worth, Ben, I think that's best. I really like you, and I hope you can do it."
"And besides that, I'm not -- I mean I don't feel ready -- to settle down -- just yet." I added.
"That's probably smart too." Said Rex.
"I wonder if the two years from 20 to 22 were as strikingly different as between 18 and 20." I said to Rex. You seem more like my father at this point. Well - - except my father wants me together with Ranj!"
"He still does?" Marveled Rex.
"Well, I guess not -- after I told him that Ranj has slept with half the gay population here. But - "
"That's an exaggeration -- and mostly it's been with football guys -- and such." Said Rex.
"Yeah, I know, but the point is -- my dad wants a football player for a son -- so much!"
"Maybe he really just wants a son to watch football with."
"I did watch a game or two with him."
"Rexxy!" Complained Everett. "You can't expect a guy to just like football. It's violent and barbarian! Either you like that kind of thing or - "
Ignoring his brother's interruption, Rex said, "So, did you like watching the game with your dad?"
"I loved spending the guy-time with him. I didn't really know much what was going-on on the TV."
"Would it be worth it to you to spend some time learning about football. I know guys like you - "
"Hrmph!" Exclaimed Everett. "Guys like Us!!!??"
"Ev -- calm down! I realize that some guys are not that much interested in football -- or boxing -- etc., and Ev -- by the way -- I have always protected you from others who would put you down because you were more -- erm -- tender-hearted. But football is a lot more intricate and a much more interesting game than you give it credit for. So - - you think I'm barbarian?"
"Well I never said that you - "
"You implied it. Ben, if you would just spend a couple hours with me in front of a game -- here on TV -- I can teach you a lot -- and if you don't really like it more I'd be surprised. And also, you would be a lot more interesting to your dad if you knew what was going on."
"You -- you'd do that for me?" I said.
"Hell yeah!" Said Rex. Then turning to his brother, he continued, "And anyone else who wanted to learn about it." Everett looked sheepish. Rex continued, "And Ev, you may be trying to forget it, but when you were a lot younger, you used to be my best pass receiver when we played tag football in the street with the other kids."
"Ohh -- I DO remember that. That was fun!"
"And another thing -- and this is for both of you -- when you get out of college and into the working force, MOST guys will want to discuss football. If you don't, then you will feel as left out as -- well as left out as you always have. Learn the basics so you can talk about it a little."
"Wow. I never thought about that." I said. "When do we start?"
"How about Monday night?" Said Rex. "You two bring your butts -- to put in the chairs -- and I guarantee Ranj will bring the pizza, chips and beers!"
Everett grinned at me. "Dibs on the couch -- with Ben!"
"Nope! None of that crap while watching football. It'd be sacrilegious!" Rex laughed. "And I want you concentrating on the game -- not each other!" Everett pouted -- then laughed.
Monday night came. Everett was supposed to have gone back home to Texas a week earlier, but under the circumstances he stayed with us an extra week. He called his high school counselor and she told him she understood and would talk to his teachers. He was so far ahead in all his classes, it was not a hardship. But he did have to go back on Tuesday.
The football game experience was good for all of us. It gave Rex something to do to keep his mind off his daddy. Everett was handling that situation better than Rex was -- maybe because Everett was physically abused and Rex wasn't. Maybe Rex even felt -- or wondered -- what was wrong with him - - why his daddy didn't come on to him. Whatever the reason, Rex put his whole self into teaching us while we watched the game.
I had no idea there was so much strategy involved in football. Once I saw that the running backs and quarterback had to be protected at all cost, it made more sense to me. Ranj also got into the experience with us. It was quite fun. And Everett said that his blacktop street, touch football play with his brother and neighborhood friends were seldom more than 4 to 6 guys. So he was surprised by all the intrigue as well.
When we first found out about Rex and Everett's daddy being put in jail, our first reaction was maybe over done. Everett was going to be able to go home and graduate from his own high school, and maybe will come spend the summer with my family. Nothing was set in stone yet.
Our last night together was bittersweet. We both wanted the night to last forever. It didn't. We didn't sleep much. That doesn't mean we had a sex-fest all night. It does mean that we both felt terrible about having to leave each other. Everett cried like a baby for a long time, and even though I didn't feel it that much, I'm not a stone, either.
We did find solace in some sexual comfort, kissing, fondling and caressing each other all night. In the morning, we showered together almost in sacred silence. Feeling his body -- and his hands on my own for this last time seemed to heighten both our awareness, as we brought each other to the fullness of our sexual pleasure. Then we stood in the hot shower for an interminable time, just holding on to each other.
Ranj drove us all to the bus station, where again, Everett cried as he checked in and waved at us from the bus window. Of course Rex and I both had tears in our eyes too. Ranj put his arms around both of us and shepherded us back to the car after we watched the bus pull out of the terminal.
"He'll be okay. Daddy will be out on bail before graduation, but he won't dare touch any of the boys -- ever again." Said Rex.
"How can you be so sure?" Asked Ranj.
"Because I very lovingly told him that if he ever did, I would come back home and very slowly kill him." Said Rex calmly, his voice and face expressionless.
Notes: Comments are always appreciated, to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve