Blind Love

Blind Love II

WARNING:

This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There may be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.

Author's Comment: Okay, I've been a bit lack in posting this story. Anyway here's Chapter 10. Hope you like it. If you do then you will probably like The Geeks, The Will Carter and The Least of These in Nifty High School Section.

LAF,

Sam (sam_lakes@hotmail.com)

Blind Love

by Sam Lakes

It was the first time I had ever been in a private jet. It was nice. Tony sat down in the seat beside me. I knew he was trying to be nice and trying to get to know me. He was my father's lover. Did that make him my dad? If I had to choose between him and Peter -- Peter would win.

As we took off I looked out the window thinking about Peter mainly and about Alex. The seat belt sign went off. Tony asked if I'd like a soda. I declined. I was doing everything not to think about my future.

I looked over at Tony. He smiled. I knew he felt a bit awkward and so did I. I started to snuggle into him like I do with Peter and then stopped and pulled away. He looked hurt that I did that. I just sort of forced a smile.

"It's not the same," I muttered.

"What's not the same?" he asked.

"You're not Peter, I always snuggle up to Peter, but you're not him. Sorry."

"That's okay. I understand. How long have you known Peter?"

"It seems like all my life but actually only since last week."

I started telling Tony about my work with Trent, how Trent had taken me to Universal and we had lunch. I knew Peter loved me and I loved him almost instantly. I told him what had happened in London with my Mom and how Peter came to rescue me and mom sort of caught us in bed -- he tensed up a bit at that and I added that we just slept. He relaxed.

I giggled. There were two reasons one was his reaction to me sleeping with Peter and the second was I found myself snuggle up to Tony -- my arm wrapped around his waist and my head on his chest and his arm around me. I turned over so I was still snuggled up against him but could look up at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I snuggled up to you and I didn't even notice," I turned my face back toward his chest, "It's funny two people I totally love Peter and Alex. I can't tell you why. It's like when I met them I knew they were part of my life like they've always been a part of me and I'm -- I'm part of them. I sort of feel that way with you now. Weird huh? Hawken's Love one the great mysteries of the universe."

Tony's chest started shaking. I looked up to see a stream of tears rolling down his face. There was such pain in his sobs and in his face. I didn't know what to do except to show him that I cared that my words were not hollow. I sat up in my seat and pulled him over to me so that his head was resting on my chest.

I realized that Tony was part of what had been absent from my life. He would have been my second dad if my dad had lived. We had both lost a big part of our life. I let him cry for a while.

"Tony, Tony it's going to be okay now. I was pissed before when I screamed at you. I think I would have loved my dad. So much has happened in the last few days. My mother stole our life. You and me and my dad should have been together." I had no idea why I was saying what I was saying but it just seemed the right thing to say -- it was my heart talking.

"I loved Paul so much, he was my life when he died I thought I died. I stopped caring about everything. Hawken when I saw you it was like Paul came back. Hawken, I closed you out. I pretended that you didn't exist. I thought you'd grow up being like Jocelyn, but you didn't. You are so much like Paul and I wasn't there for you," he sobbed.

"Tony, listen to me. I didn't need you. I grew up not caring about anybody. For whatever reason I was in a haze. I was Mom's little robot. Life meant nothing; people meant nothing. You would have hated me then."

"Mom made a fatal mistake. She sent me to England -- I started realizing what I was missing that I didn't even know was missing. It took me a year and a half to trust Trent. Trent said he was going to give me a dose of what I needed. I had no idea what he meant but what he gave me was what I needed."

"Trent woke me up. He showed me real life. I had been working with him for a year and a half and I never knew anyone liked my voices -- that anybody thought that Scamper's voice was cute. I never knew that people would like my singing. In that one day I learned that people cared about me and that I could care about them."

"Trent's friends and especially Peter showed me what love is. He cared about me so much. I know he trusts you and that is the only reason I got on this plane. I was terrified to leave Peter. I have to trust you because Peter told me to give you a break. I think he was right; I think you are a good person."

"Thanks, Hawken."

I smile and nodded. He sat back up and I resumed my snuggle.

"Hawken?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

I thought for a moment. "Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"What if my grandparents don't like me?"

"That will never happen?"

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"But what if they don't -- will I have to go back to Mom?"

He pulled me into a tight hug. "Never! I won't ever let that happen."

After a few minutes he started talking, "I screwed up and I screwed up bad I want a chance to make up, to be the father I haven't been -- I can't change the past but I am going to change the future. I promise. Will you give me the chance?"

I didn't answer. I thought about Peter and watching the two of them talking at the airport.

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Peter's a hunk?"

I looked up at him. He had a smirk on his face.

"You do don't you!"

"Well, he is very good looking," he blushed, "Okay he's a hunk."

I smiled and returned to my snuggle.

A few seconds past.

"Why did you ask?"

"Because he likes you. I saw his face and I know he likes you."

"Really?"

"Really. I think you to should just cut to the chase, start dating, making out, and all. And to show you what a great kid I am I even give you a subject to talk about to break the ice."

"Oh," he laughed, "And what's that?"

"Me of course and my wish."

"Your wish?"

"You and Peter fall in love. Take your vows and adopt me and maybe some others kids too."

Tony laughed but he didn't say no or tell me how ridiculess my idea was. I fell asleep.

Tony woke me just before we landed.

Despite the reassurance from Tony that my grandparents would love me I was still shit scared. I was a bit groggy until I stepped out into the cool night air. It was a bit windy outside the plane. I carried the important stuff like my guitar, boom box and computer. Tony got the rest.

We walked into the small terminal where I saw my grandfather and grandmother for the first time. I could have been in a crowded airport and I would have recognized him instantly. He had my eyes or I guess I should say I had his eyes.

We stood opposite each other as I watched his eyes fill with water and overflow running down his cheeks. He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. It was a moment racked with emotions and tears from Tony, my grandparents, and me.

I suddenly said in Scamper's voice, "Folks, we better move along -- they've just issued flood warnings in this area." They looked sort of surprised and then laughed.

When we got home we all went to bed as it was like 3 am. Tony came to say goodnight to me he had his own place. I asked him to lie down next to me until I got to sleep. He lay down and I snuggled into his arms.

"On the plane you said you loved me? Why?" I asked.

"A lot of it has to do with the fact that I loved your Dad. You are not like him but there is a quality you have that is so sweet and intangible. When we landed I called Peter to let him know we landed safely and you'd met your grandparents. He asked how we were getting on and said fine I said it was hard not to fall in love with you. He agreed. It's difficult to explain in words."

"Tony, I think I love you too. My life before seems so unreal. It's like I was locked in a world of my own. Teri had found the key and unlocked the door, but it was Trent who pulled me out of my own world. And even then it took him over a year to gain my trust. I stepped out into this new world. It's like I sensed Peter's love and Alex's love and your love. It's like you are suppose to be a part of my life and it just feels right. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I feel it's right too," as he kissed the top of my head and we fell asleep.

I woke the next morning around ten; Tony must have gone in the night.

As the bedroom I was in had it's own bathroom and shower I took a shower then got dress. I sat down on my bed because the house was so quiet and I thought people might be sleeping. I noticed a cellphone on the nightstand with a note.

"Hawken,

Sorry I wasn't there when you woke, I had to go to work to handle a few things so we can spend some time together. Your grandfather is doing the same. We should be back by 1:00. Your grandmother will be in her office.

If is seems quiet it's because the housekeeper has been told to keep things quiet so you can sleep.

Use this cellphone and call me.

I love you,

Tony"

I pressed call, the line rang and Tony answered.

"Hi, I'm awake how do I find Grandmother's office?" I asked.

"Oh, turn right all the way down passed the foyer last door on the left."

"Thanks. Well, I'll see you when you get here."

"Sure thing."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Tell my grandfather I love him too."

"Okay I -- wait a minute -- you tell him -- it's your grandson."

"Hawken is everything okay?"

"Yes sir, everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

"I love you too and we'll be home as soon as lard ass gets his butt moving." He laughed. I laughed too and then said goodbye.

I found my grandmother and she had the housekeeper make breakfast for me.

Then she began to unravel the mystery for me as I had breakfast.

"You look so much like your father."

"Your father was so handsome and smart and popular people absolutely adored him, but there was always a loneliness in his eyes because something was missing. I think I was the only one who saw it and then one day he told me he knew that he was gay. His dad freaked out but after a week or so finally calmed down. He realized the despite this tiny flaw he had the most fantastic son a man could ever want. And soon enough you grandfather began to wonder if it really was a flaw. Their relationship as father and son had never been so good."

I listened intently as she talked and I ate my breakfast and when I finished we went back to her office and sat together on a sofa. She showed me photos of my dad. I was so surprised -- they could almost have been pictures of me.

"Your dad came home one day after that and he was in seventh heaven. We knew he had met someone, someone special. It was Tony. They became inseparable but very discreet. Homosexuality was not very acceptable."

She said as she showed me pictures of my dad and Tony.

"Your dad wanted a son and foolishly they choose your mom. They got married and she got pregnant. Your dad's plan was once your were born to pay her off -- we were pretty well off at the time - in exchange for total custody and a divorce."

"Well she caught Tony and Paul in the act. They had kept their plan a secret. She threatened to expose them. She told Paul she would make Paul and her divorce a well publicized divorce. Shortly, thereafter your dad was involved in a fatal accident. It devastated all of us. That woman had done her home work well and she attacked when we were at our weakest, and we agreed to pay for your support and let her live in our house in Beverly Hills, plus we would pay her a $500,000 a year when you turned 18. Part of that agreement was we would never contact you."

"Your dad was very highly respected and loved. She threatened to drag his name and image through the dirt. He was dead, we were all in pain and she didn't care. So we agreed with some stipulations. If ever you wanted to come and live with us the door was open. We would get custody and she would get her money for each year."

"It took years for Tony to deal with Paul's death. Both he and Alf drowned their sorrows in their work and I did the same. When you were about twelve I suspected she was misusing your money and sure enough she was. I confronted her on it and I demanded that you be sent to us."

"So she sent you to us. Yesterday, when you called we found out the truth. The boy she sent wasn't you."

"He was the most obnoxious person I have ever met. After a week he demanded to be sent home and we were happy to oblige. I suspect that's when she sent you to England."

My life made sense for once. I am sure my face showed it. "That explains why she wouldn't let me get a major role in case I became famous."

"Yes. What she did was fraud."

"Where does my life go from here?" I asked.

She smiled, "Where do you want it to go?"

I sat and thought for a while.

My dad and Tony wanted me, but fate had interfered.

"I really like Tony. I can understand why my dad loved him. Well, my dad and Tony wanted me. If my dad had lived -- I think I would have always been with him and Tony, right?"

She smiled and nodded.

"If my father died after I was born then I would still be Tony's son."

I sat in silence for along time thinking. I just want to be with someone who loves me and cares about me. Tony says he loves me. So do my grandparents.

"Do you think Tony," I looked away then back to her, "I just don't want to be a burden -- I always felt like I was a burden to my mom. Tony says he loves me and so do you and my grandfather. I feel like I should be with Tony, but what if after he gets to know me he doesn't like me?"

I felt the strong arms of a man wrapping around me as Tony kissed my cheek and he whispered, "I told you that will never happen." He moved around in front of me, sat on the coffee table, and took my hand.

"Hawken, you will never be a burden to me. I love you. I promise I will be the best dad I can possibly be. One day of knowing you and my life has changed for the better. You said that you were in your own world and your cousin unlocked the door and Trent pulled you out of your world and showed you a new world - one with love and happiness."

"When I met your dad he did the same for me and when he died I went back into my world and closed the door, locked it and threw the key away. After fifteen years of imprisonment in a world where nothing really seemed to matter. Then you came along and blew that door off its hinges!"

"I'll be here as long as you need me if you want - as a dad and as a friend. Deal?"

I looked at my grandmother and my grandfather.

"Deal!" I could feel myself smiling. "Can I call you dad sometimes?"

"It's sure is. Can I call you son?"

I stood up turned and hugged my new dad. "Yes. Are you legally my guardian?"

"In about three hours I will be. My lawyers are will be meeting your mother in fifteen minutes. She will sign over the legal custody of you to me and adoption papers and she will be filing change of legal name -- she has to revert to her maiden name and may never use the name Sugarstone again. She's giving up all rights of any kind to you or your life or your assets past present or future."

"YES! YES! YES!" I said in Scamper's voice, "The evil bitch has been destroyed! Her evil powers over Billy are no more!"

"Do we still have a recording contract for voiceovers?" I asked in Billy's voice. "Grrowl!Hssst! My contrrrrract is verrry important to me, " said in Purball's voice.

My grandfather looked at me, "How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Talk in three completely different voices without a pause," Grandfather said.

"Don't know. I just do it."

"Okay. Tony -- I mean Dad, you need to call my agent, Jack Martin let him know he is still my agent and ask him if I am still good for London, and call Trent to find out when our next recording date. Here's their numbers. Oh, and call Peter to find out when your next date is."

Tony rolled his eyes. "It's next Saturday. I've already talked to Trent and Jack Martin. They are cool."

"Where?" I asked.

"Where what?" responded Tony.

"Where's your date?" I asked.

"He's in California."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head side to side. "No, where are you guy going to be here or California?"

"Ah hah! That is personal and private data," he laughed, "Fathers do not have to discuss their love life with their sons."

"Meany!" I said.

***

I was lying on my bed looking at a picture of my dad and Tony taken before Dad had married Jocelyn. They looked so happy and I wondered if Alex and I would ever be together. Or would there just be me by myself.

"Knock-knock," said Tony standing by the door, "May I come in?"

"Sure."

"You look a bit melancholy. Anything wrong?" he asked as he lay down beside me.

"No, just thinking and looking at this picture of you and Dad. You guys looked really happy. I wondered if there would ever be a picture of somebody special and me. You know if Peter is still alone when he's fifty-three and if I'm alone we are going to become lovers. So, you better get on the ball boy!" I laughed.

"Well," he said drawing out the well, "That's what I wanted to discuss with you. I really like Peter and there's a mutual feeling there and a definite mutual interest in your well-being. But romance is not something you can necessarily rush. So, I need your feed back on this, I want to hire Peter as your manager he will look after all you finances, contracts, negotiations, see to your schooling."

I could feel a huge smile growing on my face.

"He would move in with us and manage the household also but his main task is you. That way he and I can get to know each other better and well we'll see how that goes."

"So is he roomin' which chew" I asked in Scamper's voice and wiggled my eyebrows and started panting.

"No goofus! He'll have is own room, you'll have your room and I'll have my room," he laughed, "But if things go well maybe he and I will share a room and make the other room a guest room."

I jumped on top of Tony and hugged him, "I love you so much Tony!"

He hugged me back, "Love you too. So, I take it you're cool with the arrangements."

"You bet! When will he be here?"

"Sunday, he's flying in with Jack Martin."

"With Jack?"

"Yeah, it's a business meeting, legal contracts and such. Plus Daniel Smith will be arriving. Your grandfather is considering helping him finance the film."

"Oh that reminds me -- I need to call Robert."

"Robert?"

I explained to dad who Robert was then called Robert. I think he was surprised to here from me so I sort of briefly explained and anyway I got his agreement for me to visit for a day or so. He offered to let me stay at their place and I gladly accepted.

Dad(Tony) agreed to let the corporate jet fly me down to the city tomorrow and then I would fly back on Sunday with the others.

+++++

I arrived at the cane shop just before noon.

"Hi, Mr. Evans," I greeted.

"Hawk, it's good to see you. Don't tell Robert this but he is so excited. He never expected to hear from you again and yesterday when you called and asked him for his help -- well, I haven't seen him so happy in years. I've given him a couple of days off -- so just have fun too. He's upstairs."

"Thanks Mr. Evans!" I said as I rushed to the upstairs apartment.

As I entered the apartment I heard Robert's voice, "Hawk, is that you? I'm in the kitchen making us lunch."

I went to the kitchen and sure enough he was making sandwiches. The last time I saw him he was in a shirt, tie and slacks -- you know business like, but today he was in a yellow Tshirt that showed off a muscular chest and jeans. In one word he was `hot'

"Woah! Dude you are a babe!"

He blushed.

"It's good to hear your voice, Hawk. I didn't think I would honestly hear from you again."

I walked over to him and gave him a hug. He was a bit tense at first like he wasn't used to hugs but eventually he relaxed and hugged me back.

"Miss me?"

"Oh yes my heart yearned for you every day, NOT. Now go sit down at the table let me finish here," he laughed.

As I sat at the table I commented, "I bet you dressed like that just to make me suffer."

"No my dad took these out for me, he said you tongue was hanging out the last time you were here."

"It was not," I giggled, "Well maybe a little. I am gay ya know. If you were sighted you'd see how beautiful I am. Then you would become an instant homosexual and you'd ravish me."

"You are so gay," he laughed.

"Still though being vision impaired you could just feel me up and then ravish me!" I giggled.

He just shook his head.

Robert served up our sandwiches and gave me a glass of water.

"You remembered?"

"Of course. So how was your trip to England?"

"Except for the flight over it sucked," I said taking a big bite out of my sandwich.

"So, what made the flight over there non sucky?"

"One word, Alex."

"Ah, tell me more."

I told him about meeting Alex and how I pretended to be blind but then how his dad talking to mom caught me out.

"And you don't feel this attraction to Alex might just be because you feel a little bit sorry for him and guilt on your part for having been dishonest?"

"At first maybe a little but as I talked and listened to Alex I honestly began to love him. There are so many things we have in common. We both like same type of music, stories we both sing in the shower and he said he dreams of being a pop star. We're both gay."

"Well if you're both happy why not? So, what was the sucky part of your trip?"

"Mom. But that's over with. As I told you I've got a dad and grandparents and hopefully my dad will fall in love with Peter."

"Oh yeah the singer/actor guy."

"Yeah, well he's now going to be my manager."

"Cool."

"So what's the problem with the script other than there's one scene that's really dumb."

"Which one is that?"

"The scene where the girl is trying to explain color to Trevor."

"Why is that dumb? I thought it was rather sweet," I asked.

"Think about it. Trevor has been blind since birth, right?

"Yeah?" I was lost I had no idea what he was trying to get at.

"You're thinking like a sighted person. What is color?" he asked.

"Color is how light is broken down like when light passes through a prism or how light is reflected," I answered.

"Think about that in relationship to Alex."

"He's never seen light, ergo he has never seen color. There is no way he could really understand it. So that scene is dumb."

"That's not to say that you couldn't describe the beauty of a sunset but you would have to describe it in terms other than light and darkness or colors. Anyway, now that we agree on that what's your problem with the play?"

"Well, I guess there really isn't one." My problem was really more to do with Alex and his dad and understanding the things his dad had said to me.

"So, what is the problem?"

"I guess there isn't one." I replied.

"Yes there is, I can tell by the sound of your voice. Something to do with Alex?"

I nodded.

"If you nodded I didn't see it," said Robert.

"I want to understand blindness better and what is expected of me. Alex's father told me before I move to the next step in our relationship I should understand blindness. Me being Alex's partner won't be easy because he will be dependant on me."

"Hold it!" interrupted Robert, "Does Alex cane travel?"

"What's that?"

"Do he use a cane to get about?"

"I don't know for sure but I don't think he does. I think his dad takes him places."

"His dad is pretty protective then?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Hmmm. And you're a wimp."

"No, I'm not! I'd do anything for Alex."

"Yes you are. He was blind from birth, right. Did you ask or did he tell you?"

"His father told me," I said.

"Are you afraid to talk to me about being blind? Because you've never asked or said a thing. When we first met you said `Sorry I didn't know you were blind'. Do you know why I was pissed at you?"

"No," I felt bad about that, "Look, I'm --"

"Shut up! You piss me off when you apologized like it's something I'm ashamed of! And I am not ashamed."

I didn't know what to say so I said nothing.

"Hawken, I'm sorry you're queer. I really am. I really feel bad that you're not straight."

I felt like telling him to fuck off. I looked at him and he was smiling. The penny dropped.

"You know what? You're an asshole!" I laughed.

"I am what I am. I am blind. Nothing I do or you do will change that. Yeah at first it was hard to deal with it but I had a father that cared and he refused to let me be a victim of myself. He made me go to school. He made me learn to be as independent as possible. Because I can cane travel I'm free to go or do just about anything."

"Now as far as Alex is concerned if his father is too protective of him then he is setting Alex up for a miserable life because then he will be totally dependant on someone and that for anyone is bad."

"Sure I depend on others for things like choosing clothes, making sure I look presentable. If I go grocery shopping I have to ask for assistance. If I go for a walk I sometimes get lost, so I have to ask for directions. Being blind is more of an inconvenience to me than anything else."

"I think that the character Trevor has that kind of attitude -- you know blindness being more an inconvenience. Anyway, don't be afraid to talk about it to me, just don't feel sorry for me. Okay? And I won't feel sorry for you."

"Okay. What scares you?"

"Freddy Kruger and definitely Jason. Freddy is at least funny but Jason never talks just hacks your head off!"

"So, I take it you want to go see the movie?" I asked.

"I thought you'd never ask," replied Robert.

So, we went to see `Freddy vs. Jason'. I would describe the actions and camera shots of the film which help to make is a little less scary. I only jumped and screamed four times. Robert kidded me about it. He said his arm is going to be bruised from me grabbing him when I was scared.

After the movie while were eating a burger I decided I wanted to take him to a musical. I called Dad and asked him if he'd get me two tickets to Hairspray for the 8 o'clock show. Robert had never seen a live play much less a musical. I thought he would love it and it would be easier for me to describe the scenes.

The show was great! Of course, I love singing and dancing and Robert loved it too. He was bouncing around as much as me to the beat of the music. We got back in Robert's neighborhood about midnight and were walking the final block home.

We had hardly talked for the last five minutes. I guess because I was pretty questioned out for the day. Then I noticed that were holding hands. He generally held my arm just above the elbow because it felt more secure he said earlier. He didn't seem to care right now and I liked it -- after all he's a hunk.

" Hawk? If," he paused, "Never mind."

"No, not never mind. Speak."

"Arf!"

I stopped walking, "I didn't mean that, silly, you thought of something so tell me."

"Uh, I really enjoyed today."

"Yeah, so did I. Now what was the never mind?"

He was so easy to read, I giggled.

"What?"

"You are so easy to read. You wanted to say something and the obviously got shy about saying something." I let go of his hand and moved to stand in front of him so I could see his face. I put my arms on his shoulders.

"I'm standing right here and I'm not going to move until to tell me what you really wanted to say."

He blushed and I could tell that he was nervous.

"I have never - I mean never thought I could be gay or even bi, but one day with you and I -- I am so totally confused. When we left the station you were holding my hand and I was hoping you wouldn't let go."

"I was hoping you wouldn't pull your hand away."

"Yeah, well I couldn't. I like you Hawk. I like being around you -- last week I kept thinking about you and I wondered if I would ever see you again. I was like really excited and I told Dad I wanted to look really hot."

"So are you gay or bi? Be honest," I said.

"Yes and no. I love you Hawk but I don't know if I could actually get into the sex part of it. Possibly cuddle and," he sighed and a slight smile appeared, "kiss maybe. I've never kissed a guy before."

I move my head forward until my lips gently caressed his lips my arms went around his neck and his arms went around me and he pulled my body in close. I ran my tongue softly across his lips and then kissed him again.

"Robert, you okay about this?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Good because your Dad's watching."

Suddenly he jerked away with a worried look on his face and I giggled. "Gotcha!"

"You little ass!" he laughed. I laughed too.

"Come on." I said and took his hand and we continued walking. It was just an innocent kiss, but what he had said that he was confused about being gay. How did I really feel about Robert? I really had had a great day, a fun day. I had been honest when he'd asked me questions and he had been honest. My goal had been to understand blindness better not only for the movie but for Alex and I did thanks to Robert.

He's five years older than me and I am probably way to immature for him. I loved talking to him describing things to him, listening to his voice, and hearing him laugh. His body is damn nice too. But the way I feel about Alex is so different. I love Alex -- I do. Shit! I love Robert too. I am fucked!

We stood silently by the apartment door for several moments.

"How was it?' he asked.

"What?"

"The kiss."

"Oh." I sighed, "It was nice, but it was me that kissed you. I should ask you how it was."

His hands came up to my face and he ran them lightly over my face feeling my eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, nose, lips, then along my jawbone and back to my lips.

"You have beautiful lips," he said as he wrapped his arm around me pulling me in close and kissing my lips gentle little kisses. I moaned. I could feel his tongue probing to enter passed my lips and opening my lips our tongues met softly wrestling. This was my first real kiss. All I could think of was I didn't want it to end as the kiss increased in intensity.

But it did.

The apartment door opened. Mr. Evans, "Boys." I jerked backwards, Robert lost his balance as I fell back and I ended up on the floor with Robert lying on top of me.

Robert immediately got up and went into the apartment and straight to his room before I was standing up. I guess he was ashamed of kissing me and Mr. Evans didn't look too happy.

"You can sleep on the couch tonight but I would like you to leave in the morning," he said coldly.

Mr. Evans brought me a blanket then left the room. I sat on the sofa for two hours thinking I would have to call my dad and tell him of the fiasco I created. Thinking how I missed Peter. Thinking how I missed Alex and thinking how I loved Robert. I couldn't really blame him for the way he reacted -- after all he was even sure he was gay.

Just before dawn I wrote him a note --

"I was just a friend

Nothing more nothing less

It was just a kiss

Love's tender caress

Your life must go on

A so must I too

Remember dear Robert

I'll always love you.

Stupid little romantic me.

Thanks for the time and the insights.

Hawken Sugarstone."

I folded up the note and placed it on the table in the kitchen, grabbed my backpack and left.

To be continued -