This story is set in the fictitious city of Trenton, New Jersey. Yes, there is a real city by that name, but other than being a state capital on the Delaware River, it bears little resemblance to the city in this story. This is a work of fiction.
If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
Chapter Four
Manny and I had decided to meet at eleven Saturday morning for our workout. He worked until midnight so he slept late. I had to get up early all through the week so I wanted to sleep late as well. During the week we'd gone through shoulder, back, arm, leg and ab routines and we were back to a chest workout. When we were done we went out for a walk.
"Okay, Jerry boy, I've been hinting around all week and you've been carefully avoiding my hints, so I'm gonna come right out and ask you. Are you gay or straight?"
He had me. I had been trying to avoid the subject but fortunately I'd made up my mind that I was ready to talk.
"I'm gay." There, I finally said it to someone.
"So what took you so long to tell me? You've known about me since we met and I've been pretty open with you."
I shrugged. "I never told anyone before. It's not the kind of thing you just blurt out when you meet someone. I really wanted to talk to you about it but I had to get to know you a little first."
"Shit, I've fucked guys I didn't know anywhere near this well. You can talk to me about anything."
"You know I'm shy. It takes me a while to warm up to somebody."
"So now that you're warm, do you want to fuck?"
I sucked in my breath. "You see, that's why I wanted to wait a bit. I thought if I told you right up front you'd think all I wanted was to jump in bed."
"And you don't?" He sounded really disappointed.
"Well, no, I don't think so. I mean, you're really sexy and I get so turned on sometimes when we're working out, but I've never done anything with another guy. I don't think I'm ready for that."
"So you gotta start sometime. If you're into me, why not now?"
"Yeah, I am into you, and I like you, too. It's just, I don't know, you're probably gonna think I'm a silly kid, but I just always thought that my first time would be special."
"And I'm not special?"
"Of course you are, but I always thought that when I met the right guy, the one I wanted to do it with for the first time, that I'd just know."
He laughed. "You mean like love at first sight, with fireworks and rockets exploding and music playing and stuff like that?"
Now I really did feel like a silly kid. I blushed. "I guess that's dumb."
He stopped and turned toward me. "No, it's kind of sweet, actually. Maybe not very realistic, but you're a romantic. I like that. I trick a lot and sometimes act like a real slut, but I have my romantic side, too. I know that someday I'm gonna fall in love, at least I hope so. But in the meantime, I'm gonna play around a little and have some fun."
"So you don't mind if we don't have sex?"
"Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to, but I'm enough of a realist to understand that I can't make it with every guy I want."
"So what was it like the first time you had sex? Was it special?" I thought I'd try to get the conversation away from me, although I was afraid of prying into his personal life too much.
"That's kinda hard to say. It really depends on what you mean by sex."
"What do you mean? Everybody knows what sex is."
"There's lots of things two people can do with one another and everyone draws the line between sex and fooling around at a different place. Remember how Clinton stood there and swore he didn't have sex with Monica? Everybody assumes he was just flat-out lying, but maybe he actually believed that because they didn't fuck it wasn't sex. There was this girl in my high school class who sucked off half the football team, but she was technically still a virgin."
"Well, I think blowjobs are definitely sex. And that goes double for buttfucking." I spoke before thinking and turned bright red when I realized what I'd said.
Manny laughed. "If the words embarrass you maybe we can just refer to oral and anal."
"Yeah, maybe that would be easier. I mean, I think those words all the time but they just sounded so crude coming out of my mouth."
"So how do you feel about jerking off?"
I had to stop and think for a second. Did he mean the words or the activity? Then I realized we were back to discussing the definition of sex.
"I don't know. I mean, I do it now and then when I get the urge but I don't feel like I'm having sex with myself. Although there's no denying it's sexual."
"Well anyway, back to the story of my deflowering. It all started when I was twelve. Things had started changing down below and my best friend and I used compare. After a while we got into touching each other, but that was as far as things went with him. Then about a year later I had this other friend who used to jerk off with me. It took a while to progress from jerking ourselves to jerking each other, and then after a few months of that I finally got up the courage to go down on him. He let me do it and after a while I got pretty good at it, but he never returned the favor. It wasn't until I got to high school that I found out how great it felt to be on the receiving end of a blowjob. I made a friend who was really into sucking and we did each other all the time. "
"I heard rumors at school about guys doing that kind of stuff, but no one ever approached me to do it. Besides, I was starting puberty when my mom got sick, so I was thinking about other things then. So what about, uh, anal?" I figured as long as he was sharing, I'd find out all I could.
"The first time for that was with a guy I met in a bar in New York when I was 18. He was really hot and about five years older than me and I had the feeling before we left the bar that maybe he'd be the one to finally fuck me, but when we got to his place his legs were in the air practically before we were undressed. So it was my first time being a top. I liked fucking a lot but I still wanted to try getting fucked. It took another six months before I met a guy who wanted to fuck me. So that's why I asked what you meant by sex. I've had lots of firsts with lots of guys."
"But none of the firsts were with someone who was special to you."
"They were all special in a way, but yeah, the early ones were friends I was fumbling around with and the others were tricks. I haven't met that special someone yet, but just because I've been around the block a few times that doesn't mean it won't be great when I do."
"I guess I dream about meeting the perfect guy, falling in love, doing it for the first time and then living happily ever after. It's impossibly idealistic, but it's nice to dream about."
"Maybe it is too idealistic, but hang onto the happily ever after part. The rest may not go as you hope, but don't give up on that. Like they say, you've got to kiss a lot of toads before you find your handsome prince."
"Yuck! I'm not kissing any toads."
"Sure, you say that now, but just wait. Things don't always go according to plan."
Yeah, he got that right. I thought about the three years I'd planned to move to New York, and the five minutes it took for that plan to fall apart. Maybe it was better to have goals in mind but not count too much on the details of the plan to get to them. I'd learned that I couldn't control everything in my life. Sometimes the best plan was to just take what life threw at you and make the best of it.
"So, we were talking about jerking off."
"We were?" I'd drifted off into my thoughts and realized that maybe I'd missed something.
"Back when I was asking you what you considered sex to be, you seemed to think that jerking off was a gray area."
"Yeah, I guess it's somewhere in between making out and actual sex."
"So since it's not really sex, and we both do it anyway, I was thinking that maybe we could give each other a hand now and then."
"You set me up! You were leading to this all along." I punched him lightly on the upper arm.
"Hey, I was just paying attention to what you were saying. You're a horny guy who's waiting for Mr. Right, but in the meantime you jerk off and don't think that's sex. So there's no reason why you can't do that with me."
"I don't know. It sounds like you're interpreting what I've said so that you get what you want."
"Maybe it is, but you get what you want, too. Admit it, you're horny and you'd love to fool around, even if you do want to wait for the right guy for the big stuff."
He had me there. I hadn't ever seriously thought about fooling around before I left home. There were some hot guys in my school but I didn't know them well and would never have approached any of them even if I knew how. Besides, as long as I was living with Ralph I couldn't risk him catching me with someone. My first couple of weeks in Trenton all I could think about was survival. But spending a lot of time with Manny's sweaty, nearly naked body in his room and then hanging out in the park watching guys pick each other up was making me hornier than I'd ever been. Fooling around with Manny could be fun, but I was afraid that if I did I might lose control and go a lot further than I wanted to go.
"So what do you think, Jerry?"
"I'll let you know. I've got to think about it some more."
All afternoon I thought about Manny and sex, separately and together. I didn't come any closer to figuring out what I wanted to do. On the way to Norman's for dinner, I pushed Manny out of my mind and thought about Norman and the evening we'd spent at his house the week before. We'd talked a lot, but neither of us had really said much about ourselves. I'd told Norman that I was from south of Philadelphia, that I had no real family left and no ties there, so I'd decided to start life somewhere else. That was pretty much true, but far from the whole story. I'd told him about my job and the rooming house. There wasn't much else to say about my new life. I spent forty hours a week in front of a sink with a guy who barely spoke English as my only company. I knew that Norman was a widower and a retired teacher. That was pretty much it for him. He didn't even say if he had kids or grandkids. I didn't want to tell him any more about my background because I was afraid of slipping about my age, but I thought I might ask him more about his life, if there was some way without sounding too nosey.
When he opened the front door Dixie made a big fuss over me, but I was disappointed that I wasn't greeted with the delicious smells from the week before. I said so as he led me back to the kitchen.
"I'm going to grill some steaks out on the patio tonight. I hope that's okay with you."
"Sure, I didn't mean to sound like I was complaining. It's just that last week the house smelled so good. I spend my whole week in a kitchen but the aroma is nowhere near that appetizing."
He gave me a glass of Coke and poured some wine for himself and we went into the little den we'd sat in the week before. I looked around before I sat down. I'd been so self-conscious the other time I hadn't noticed much of anything. One entire wall was bookshelves from floor to ceiling. I loved to read but it would take me years to get through that many books. On one shelf was a framed picture of Norman and another guy on what looked like the deck of a ship.
"What's this?"
He picked up the picture and stared at it for a few seconds. "That's Harry and me, a couple of years ago. We went on a cruise up the coast of Alaska right after I retired."
"I've seen commercials for those cruises, with huge chunks of ice falling off glaciers. It looks awesome."
"Yes, it was pretty spectacular." He put the picture down and sighed. "How about we go out to the patio and put on the steaks? I'll bet you're hungry."
"I'm always hungry so you shouldn't go by me. But if you want to eat now, I won't complain."
Norman stopped in the kitchen and took a plate with two huge steaks from the refrigerator, then went out the back door to a small brick patio. He put the meat on the gas grill and we sat down on a couple of lounge chairs. He didn't say anything at all as the steaks cooked and I wondered if I'd said or done something wrong. By the time the meat was done he was acting a little more normal. The table was already set so I put the steaks on it while Norman took two baked potatoes from the oven. There was a big salad bowl on the counter and I put that on the table as well. We sat down and dug in. I hadn't had steak very often. I knew that Ralph often had it when he ate with his buddies at O'Malley's, but he never bought good cuts of meat for us to eat at home. Norman asked me about my week as I shoveled in the food. After a while it occurred to me how one-sided the conversation was. Norman was talking and I was eating.
"So who's that guy Harry you went on the cruise with? Your best friend?"
Norman put down his fork and took a sip of wine.
"You might say that. I told you last week that I was a widower. Harry was my partner."
"You mean you're gay?"
"Yes, Jerry, does that bother you?"
"No, not at all." I hoped I didn't sound shocked but I had been so sure he was straight after the widower comment. "I'm gay, too."
I'd never told anyone I was gay before and in one day I'd told two people.
"You are? I was wondering about that."
"Why? Do I look or act gay?"
"No, but from years of teaching high school I've noticed that most teenage boys are pretty obsessed with teenage girls, and in all of your talk about your past and present, you never once mentioned a girl, so I wondered."
"So were you and Harry together a long time?"
"Thirty-one years."
"Wow, that's a very long time."
"Yes, but nowhere near long enough. Three weeks after we got back from the cruise, he had a massive heart attack."
Norman looked like he was going to cry. I got up and walked around the table and hugged him from behind. I didn't know what to say or do. "I'm sorry," just didn't seem anywhere near enough but it was all I could think of saying. The only person I'd ever lost was Mom and even though I'd known it was coming for a few months, I was a total basket case for weeks afterward and nothing anyone said had made any difference.
He squeezed my arm. "Thanks. It hurts less as time goes by, but sometimes the pain surprises me."
I sat down again and we finished our meal in silence. When we were nearly done cleaning up I asked him where the bathroom was. On my way back to the kitchen I passed a room with a black baby grand piano.
"That's a beautiful piano you have," I said when I got back to Norman. "Do you play?"
"No, Harry did. He was a music teacher. He tried to teach me not long after we moved in together, but I think my fingers are dyslexic."
"Would it be okay if I tried it?"
"You play?"
"A little. My great-aunt had a spinet and my mom taught me." I didn't add that Ralph had sold the piano and everything else of any value in the apartment within a few weeks of the funeral. After that the only time I got to play was in school now and then.
"It's probably out of tune but you can try it if you like."
I sat down and touched the keys, not playing anything at first, just hitting chords, trying to get the feel of the keyboard. I was good at reading music but there were several pieces I knew my heart as well. Unfortunately, it had been so long since I'd played that I only remembered bits and pieces. And even then I made tons of mistakes. Norman just sat and smiled as I tried to play. After about ten minutes I gave up.
"I'm really rusty. It's been ages since I was near a piano."
"If you'd like to come over and practice sometime that would be fine with me. Maybe the next time you come for dinner you could get here early and play. Harry has sheet music for everything you can imagine, so I'm sure you'll find something you like."
"That would be nice. I always found playing to be relaxing."
We went back to the den and sat and talked for a while.
"So, Jerry, you seem pretty comfortable with being gay. Have you been out long?"
I looked at the clock on the wall and thought, 'about eight hours,' but I just shook my head.
"No, but I've known for quite a while. I've done some reading at the library and on the Internet and I keep my ears open, but I've just never had the chance to talk to anyone about it until recently."
"Well, you don't seem to have a problem with it. From what I've read it's a lot easier for some in your generation."
"I couldn't deal with it very well back when I first realized I was gay, but I was going though some really bad stuff at the time so it wasn't the most important thing. But when I started making plans for my life I knew I had to take being gay into account. That's why I decided to go to New York."
"New York? Then what are you doing in Trenton?"
"It's on the way." I didn't want to admit how stupid I'd been at the train station. I'd decided I was never going to tell anyone about that. "I stopped off here to get myself organized. I'll continue on after a while."
"Well, you don't have to go to New York to be gay and happy, but if that's where you want to be, I wish you luck."
"It's probably going to be a while before I get there, but I'm in no hurry."
On the way back through the park I thought about New York. I did still want to go there, but I knew I couldn't without money. So it really would be a while. I'd never be able to save enough with what I was making at Frank's, but it was enough for me to live on for now. Once I got my life together a little bit, I was going to have to find a better paying job. But for now, I was doing okay.
Sunday, I went up to Manny's room at eleven for our workout. I hadn't made up my mind what to do about his suggestion that we fool around. I was horny as hell and really wanted to take him up on his offer but I was scared. The closest I'd ever come to anything like that was the kiss with the guy who stole my wallet and that was barely making out. But I'd had very little opportunity for any release in the two weeks I'd been in Trenton. Back home, I'd jerked off nearly every day, always in the shower so I wouldn't leave any mess that Ralph might stumble on. I knew that everybody masturbated, that's what they said in sex ed in school, but I still thought Ralph would think even less of me if he found out. In the rooming house, it seemed like there was someone in the bathroom nearly every time I went to take a shower. I didn't feel right jerking off with someone else in the room and only a thin plastic shower curtain between us. I was still washing my clothes in the bathroom sink so I couldn't use them to clean up if I did it in the room. My handwashing probably wouldn't get out the stains.
Thinking about jerking off while working out with Manny didn't help matters any. He didn't bring up the subject, but somehow he seemed sexier today. It looked like he was wearing his shorts lower, exposing at least three inches of a faint line of black hair running down from his navel. When he bent over, I could see an inch or two of the crack of his ass. And he seemed to be posing for me, deliberately putting himself in sexy positions. When I was doing my sets, he sprawled on the bed, legs slightly apart with one knee bent up and I could clearly see his cock and balls up the leg of his shorts.
By the time we finished our workout, my smaller head had made the decision for me. I'd give it a shot. I wasn't sure how much I could or would do, certainly no oral or anal, as Manny had put it, but I wanted to try something. The way my life was going it could be years before I met the right guy. In the meantime, Manny was a nice guy I liked a lot. When he picked up his jeans to get dressed for our walk, I grabbed his hand and told him my decision. A big smile spread across his face.
"You won't regret it, Jer. And we won't go any further than you want to, I promise."
He put a hand behind my head and pulled me toward his pursed lips. I stiffened up and pulled back.
"Um, no kissing, I think." I wasn't sure why I reacted so strongly against that. I had no hesitation at all about kissing the guy from the train. Maybe there was some attraction to him that I'd felt that I didn't feel with Manny. Or maybe I just associated being robbed and all of the horrors that came after it with kissing. At any rate, Manny didn't press the issue.
"Kissing is only like the first step in foreplay, but if you don't want to do it, we won't. Tell you what, how about you take the lead and do whatever you want with me? I'll follow. I'm sure you won't take things as far as I'd like, but I can pretty much guarantee that I'll enjoy anything you do."
That really put me on the spot. I was a total amateur and had no idea what to do. He saw my hesitation.
"Okay, how about you just get to know my body a little? Look me over, touch me where you want, just familiarize yourself with the territory, so to speak."
That sounded pretty good to me, so he lay down on the bed and waited for me to make a move. I looked down at his smooth light brown body. Man, he was so hot. I had the urge to throw myself on him, but I held back. I wasn't sure where this was going and I wanted to stay in control, of myself, at least. I sat down on the bed and put my hand on his chest. His skin felt hot to the touch. I slowly ran my hand around his chest, feeling the hard muscle under the smooth skin. I ran a finger around his quarter-sized right nipple, touching the nub with my fingertip.
"You ahead, play with it if you like. Squeeze it, pull on it. My nipples are real sensitive but I like it."
I did as he suggested, being careful not to hurt him. I'd never played with my own nipples and wasn't sure what he was feeling. I ran my fingers down to his abdomen, tracing the outline of each muscle, fingering his belly button a little. I looked up at his face and he had his head back and his eyes closed. I put my other hand on him and ran the two of them up to his shoulders, pressing harder into his chest as I went. He lifted his head and looked at me.
"Say, I know, let's try massages. That way we'll get to touch each other lots and it'll feel so good for both of us."
"I've never given a massage before. I don't know what to do."
"Then let me go first. I dated a massage therapist for a while last year and he taught me a few tricks of the trade. All ya gotta do is pay attention and do what I do."
He got up and pulled off his boxers, exposing his thick dark dick. It wasn't completely hard but was very swollen.
"Okay, drop yer drawers and get on the bed, face down."
I froze.
"Relax, Jer, I'm not gonna rape ya. You gotta trust me."
I slowly pushed my shorts down. When they got to mid-thigh they dropped to the floor by themselves and I kicked them off. I did trust him but I still wasn't comfortable bending over naked in front of him. I got on the bed in the position he wanted and he sat down next to me. He began with my left shoulder, kneading it with both hands, then moved over to the right. He worked his way down my back very slowly, loosening up every bit of every muscle on the way. He worked his way back up my back, moving his hands in broader, sweeping strokes. When he got back down to the small of my back the second time, he kept going, massaging my ass, kneading each cheek, He dug his fingers deep into the muscle.
"Oh man, what a sweet little butt you've got. Lots of thin guys like you have bony asses, but you've got just the right amount of padding. You're gonna be a comfortable ride for some lucky guy."
I knew as he worked on my cheeks he was spreading them, exposing my most private spot. I tensed up, wondering if he was going to try something I didn't want him to, but just then he changed his focus and went back up to my shoulders. By now he was on his knees next to me and each time he leaned forward I could feel his hard rod pressing into my side.
He worked on my shoulders for another minute and then slapped my butt.
"Okay, your turn. Let's see if you were paying attention or just droolin' precum all over my sheets."
I slowly got up, a little embarrassed that I was hard as a rock. As I turned over Manny gasped. "Damn, look at the size of that thing! I thought it was big when I saw you in the bathroom that day we met, but I figured you were a shower, not a grower. Apparently, you're both."
He lay face down on the bed and I took my place next to him. I was a little nervous but I tried to copy the moves he had made with me. I knew I wasn't anywhere near as good but from his moans I could tell he was enjoying it. When I got to his butt I made sure I gave it a little extra attention. And I made a point of spreading those brown cheeks to get a good look at his hairless puckered hole. I'd seen lots of dicks in the locker room at school but I'd never seen a guy's hole before and it fascinated me.
He rolled over and smiled up at me. "Not bad. You'll be really good with a little practice, and I mean to give you lots of practice."
He sat sideways across the bed, leaning against the wall and pulled me around to sit on his right. He put his right arm around my shoulders and pulled me tight against his side.
"Okay, we're gonna play follow the leader again. Just do what I do."
He reached across his body and took my stiff cock in his left hand. He gave it a firm squeeze. I took his dick in my right hand and squeezed it. He slid his hand up my shaft and squeezed the head, sending a spasm through my whole body. I ran my hand up his shaft to the head, which was covered with his foreskin. I pulled down, sliding the foreskin off, exposing a shiny purplish head. He had a drop of precum on his slit and when I squeezed the head, more oozed out. I spread it around the head with the tip of my index finger.
Manny got a firm grip on my dick and began stroking. I did the same to him and watched as his foreskin slid up over his head and then pulled back again. I was used to the feel of my own cock in my hand and this was so different. His was nearly as thick as mine, though a couple of inches shorter, which didn't really matter when stroking. But all of the extra skin gave it a different feel. Of course, his hand on my dick felt different, too. I was trying to take in all of the sensations but it was hard paying attention to both of us at once. My eyes kept jumping back and forth from my hand milking more precum from Manny's dick to his hand working over mine. I decided to stop trying to analyze all of the feelings and just enjoy them.
I thought I'd probably cum first since this was so new to me and I'd been building up for nearly a week, but Manny's breathing began to come in short gasps and I knew he was close. I got a tighter grip and ran my thumb over his slippery head on each stroke. I was focusing completely on Manny at that point, keeping a close watch on his cock. I saw his ball sac tighten up and a couple of seconds later felt his thick rod pulse in my hand. It erupted with a shot that flew up and hit him in the face. I felt it continue to throb as shot after shot landed on his chest and stomach. I kept stroking, trying to force every drop out. He had arched his back as he began to shoot, but then dropped back onto the bed. He'd also stopped stroking me, but after he took a few deep breaths, he scooped some of the cum off his belly and used it to lube up my cock. The slick sensation combined with the knowledge that it was his cum all over my dick brought me to the edge in no time. I let out a groan when my first volley exploded from my dick, hitting me on the cheek. The next two shots hit me on the nose and chin. By the time he had drained me, I had cum all over my face, running down my neck.
Manny leaned over and licked up some of the cum on my neck. "Mmm, tasty." I collapsed back against the wall, trying to catch my breath. He kissed me on my cheek, sucking in a little more cum as he did so.
"So, Jerry boy, was that okay?"
"Okay? It was awesome. I don't think I've ever come so much. Was it good enough for you?"
"Yeah, lots better than good enough. It was pretty damn hot for a hand job. I was gonna play with those beautiful balls of yours a bit before we got down to business, but you turned me on so much I couldn't wait."
"Maybe next time we can try that."
"Next time? You mean you think you'll want to do it again?"
"Oh yeah. I think you've created a monster, Manny."
He gave my softening dick a squeeze. "You're the one with the monster, Jer."