Dear Diary

This story is for persons of eighteen years or over. All comments, good or bad, are welcome and all will be answered.

Part Four

As it was dear diary, you can see that I am writing to you in the aftermath of the holocaust that was to come, as we waved away our brave men. All we knew at that time was that the regiment would be going to France within the week, where in France, we were not told. It took several weeks, avidly reading every newspaper that could be brought up from the village to find out where our men had gone.

Though we scanned these papers daily, we had no idea where our men or the Hampshire Regiment were. Then we were informed of our own first casualties. Our own Percy, really a pacifist and a lover of other men, had been hospitalised because of a collision between him and a cannon. The subsequent injuries led to gangrene, but in spite of amputations, died. One of the coachmen was lost too, though he died of pneumonia.

Father was distraught at the loss of his second son. We had at this time come together as a family and we all dined in the hall for all meals and it was here that he told us of this news. It was the other women of the Manor that had the most anguish as I didn't have a husband out there in France, but I had brothers and cousins, so I was really in the same boat as them in our praying for our loved ones.

We came to dread seeing a bicycle coming up the drive towards the house because we knew it presaged bad news. So it didn't need father to tell us at lunch time, because we had already heard the bad news that the four telegrams contained. It wasn't till after lunch that we heard the worst. Uncle Edward had had a heart attack when he learnt from two of these telegrams that he had lost both sons at the Battle of the Marne. Cynthia was already in tears, so we knew we had lost Rupert. But it shocked us even more to learn that John had been killed in the same action.

It was just after we buried Uncle Edward that father sent for me. It was not without some trepidation that I knocked on the door to his rooms, wondering if had heard or had learnt more than us girls wished to have known.

`Alice. Sit yourself down. We've never had a really serious talk, have we?' he asked as I sat down in front of the desk in his study.

`No father,' I replied, wondering what was coming.

`We've lost your brother Percy and your cousins, Rupert and John. It was the loss of these two that I think caused the heart attack to my brother, your Uncle Edward. Now I'm not sure you know of what goes on in running an estate like ours, or do you?'

`No father,' I replied.

`Well before I tell you why I asked you up here, I think I had better give a précis on what happens here. The money comes from various enterprises the family over the years have obtained. I will not go into the extent of them now, just to say that I deal with this side of the family fortune, though this war has, and still is, causing problems in this department. Uncle Edward dealt with the running of the Manor and the estate here.

Now we do not have any of the menfolk here to take over his duties, so I am forced to ask if you would take over his duties. You are, what, thirty now?' I nodded, not realising that I'd already reached that age, still feeling much younger in spirit. `So I would like you to see to the running of, well, what's is becoming a sad state of affairs here. Your Uncle Albert has his job in the Government in London and your Aunt Anne, for obvious reasons, is there with him.'

I later learnt that she was helping out in some sort of nursing administration on a voluntary basis. I agreed to do the best I could and he told me of the intricacies of the job. I only agreed to this because I could see that father was fast becoming a tired old man, and the fact that he lost one son and two nephews as well as a brother because of this war.

What a state of mourning we were in. A whole year had gone by and now our men were beginning to fall. The newspapers must be lying to us was the cry. If we were winning, why were our men still dying? But it was the death of Uncle Edward that brought home to us the true facts of this war. It wasn't until his funeral that we saw Aunt Victoria and Cynthia. They had been sequestered up in their rooms every since the telegrams had arrived. Constance was beside herself too at the news. To me, it was calamitous and a downright stupidity of the War Office to put members of the same family into the same action at the same time. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, to lose one brother might be regarded as a misfortune, but to lose two is carelessness.

Uncle Albert and Aunt Anne came back to the Manor for the funeral of Uncle Edward, and I could see the strain in both their faces. It was after this and before he went back to London that I managed to get him on his own.

`Uncle Albert. Do you remember that day in the summer house many years ago?' I asked him.

`Of course I do Alice. It's one of my most fondest of memories,' he replied.

Well, you may think me forward,' I started as I put my hand up to the lapel of his coat, but I haven't had a man since William died.' He understood immediately what I was asking and he took me into his arms and kissed me.

`Oh Alice, do you really mean it?'

Yes Albert,' accepting his kisses and returning them. Please take me to bed and show me that I am still a woman.' He didn't need any time to think, but whisked me away to my bedroom.

There, he treated me as a woman, slowly undressing me, kissing each breast as it was revealed before letting me fall back onto the bed while he quickly undressed himself. In spite of his age, he was still able to have a weapon that would more than satisfy me. He was soon on top of me and inside, thrusting and dowsing the fires that burnt within my belly. It had been quite some time since I last had a male inside me, feeling the hardened bar ream my insides and I loved every minute that he was fucking me. But like all dreams, it came to an end too soon. I sucked on him afterwards to no avail, and I almost wept that I couldn't raise him up again.

Then he was back off to London with Aunt Anne, him happy, me desolate. So I threw myself into the affairs of the estate, and what a sorry state of affair they were. I had never ever considered where the money had come from to feed and clothe us. It was just one of those things that others and I had taken for granted. The home farm, and by that I mean what was the closest to the Manor. The dairy and kitchen garden were still being looked after, but with lack of manpower, the rest was going to pot.

We'd heard gunfire at nights down in the wooded area but not given it any thought. Now I realised that poachers without any game keepers to keep them away had decimated all of our game birds. Pheasant and grouse had always been on our table, but not any longer. Our fields were not being ploughed and replanted, and this was a loss of revenue to us.

It was during this period of me trying to come to grips with the running of the estate that Aunt Victoria took a funny turn. By that I mean that I think she went a bit do-lally. She began the habit of walking around the Manor at night looking for Uncle Edward. This was more of a trial for Constance than the rest of us, but I had to take my turn to look after her some nights till she fell asleep.

I found that father and Uncle Edward foresaw some of the problems we would have if and when war did break out. They had more than trebled our delivery of coal and similar non perishable goods that the Manor would require over the coming years. But in spite of this, our stocks had started to dwindle.

It came to the point when with the approval of father, I said that we all had to leave our respective wings that housed us, and move into the front section of the house. This way we could cut down on the upkeep of these parts of the Manor. There were moans and groans at this, but it was done. Also the staff, where before they each had a room of their own, were now forced to double up as I now instituted a coal allowance per room, and also cut down by three quarters, the number of candles being used. I think I became hated for this, as the Manor became a place of perpetual gloom. I wouldn't brook any argument and gave the staff and the others the choice to either accept my Draconian measures, or leave.

Cynthia took this arbitrary stance of mine to heart and left to go back to her old home. With Rupert dead and no child from the marriage, thought she might stand more chance of remarriage back where she came from. To my mind, it was one less mouth to feed.

Next to tackle was the household staff. I called a meeting in the main hall of all of them and told them the truth. The war was bleeding us dry and we could no longer afford to pay them wages. So they had two options. They could stay and do the same jobs, but instead of pay, they would be guaranteed bed and board, and if things turned out for the better, they may get some back pay later. I stressed the word may. The other option was to leave and seek employment elsewhere. I lost four of them straight away. This upset other members of the household at losing their own personal maids but I put my foot down. One maid per three women, and that was that. I wouldn't budge having to suffer this deprivation myself too.

There was one welcome aspect to this period, though we didn't know it at the outset. Elizabeth was taken off to London by her mother much to our chagrin for her to help at the hospital that she was working at. But she was back after two weeks.

We, Constance and I, were delighted she was back with us. Then with the children all in bed, Elizabeth said she had a surprise for us. We'd gathered that night in her room in our night attire and made ourselves comfortable on her bed for her to show us her surprise.

`Now I know you both don't think much of London. Well I don't either, but I think you'll like what I found there. It was one of the nurses in the hospital that gave me what I will show, and if you will allow me later, demonstrate what it is.'

She had us on tenterhooks as to what it was that she was being most secretive about. Having gone into another room in her gown, we waited for a few moments before she returned, her robe closed tightly about her front as she stood before us.

Now I told this nurse,' Elizabeth started off, about how we women were stranded out in the country without a man for miles to see to our pleasure. So be the man, she said to me. How? I asked, and then she showed me, and after a demonstration, presented me with this.' With the last few words spoken, she whipped open her robe to reveal a huge male organ strapped to the front of her body. It looked so ludicrous this thing sticking out from her thighs below a lovely pair of breasts, that we couldn't help but laugh.

`Well I didn't expect that response,' Elizabeth exclaimed stamping her foot and making the whole thing bounce up and down like a demented thing. But as she saw it doing this dance of its own, she saw the funny side of it and joined us in our laughter.

`You might laugh, but I've tried it, and it's not so bad as you might think. It's not the same, grant you, but it's better than a carrot or a cucumber.'

So now we had what is known as a dildo to be used in our love making, and as Elizabeth said, it's not the same but it wasn't a bad substitute. It seemed strange to lie on your back and see a woman with a large pair of breast looming up between your legs and then feel this thing inserted into your vagina, making you gasp at the size of it expanding your insides. It even had knobbly bits on it so that you could feel it rasp your insides as she played the part of the man in fucking you. It was the tits swaying before me that put me off.

I eventually found that I preferred it when it was being used from behind, doggie fashion. As a substitute, it passed the test and we quite frequently used it between us and found that it was nice to have something hard up inside as we faced each other to kiss and have our breasts rubbed against each other. This was our highlight of the year and we spent many hours using it as we did our usual swapping in our sex games.

That was to be our only respite, because it wasn't long before more telegrams came to tell us we had lost more of our staff but that we had lost Henry on the first day of the battle of the Somme.

Oh how we cried at this news, but what made it worse was that we didn't learn till two days later that Charles had also fallen on the same day as Henry. But what was even worse was that Nicholas had gone too. Elizabeth nearly went mad in her grief of not only losing her only brother but her husband too.

We were in a pretty mess with the whole household in tears and yet we couldn't find out if our side was winning the war or not. Were our menfolk just being sent out to slaughter for the sake of some petty whims of those who were supposed to be in charge?

How we prayed as we also comforted those dearest to us at their loss, but then it soon became their turn to comfort us, because when the bicycle was seen coming up the drive, the poor boy was nearly killed. It was the last time we were to see him, because the telegrams proved our worst fears. We had lost the last of our men from the Manor.

My brother William, James, the husband of Constance as well as the last of our grooms. They all fell on the same day in another battle of the Somme.

Dear diary, I cannot express myself properly to say just how hard this last news hit us. We were as much victims of this war as our family and menfolk. The anguish and pain was clearly seen on every face of the household at every turn. The older retainers too, those who were too old to go and fight had these expressions of grief. They felt the loss just as keenly as we did. They had seen us grow up and especially for the boys, seen them grow into men and know that they as us, would never see them again.

It was all too much for mother as well. She took to her rooms and the only time she came down was when she had given way to grief and had given up hope and died in her misery. That year of 1916 was a black one for the Manor. We all tried to console each other at the losses we each had suffered, but those of us left I think suffered the most. How quick it must have been to die with a bullet through the heart than to have to suffer the years of pain and torment of the aftermath.

I think it was only the children that held us together. If it hadn't been for them, I think we would all have disintegrated into hapless lumps of humanity. These children were then smothered in love and kisses, they, being the only legacy that the men had left us and we showered all the love that we had on them.

It was a dismal Christmas that we didn't feel like celebrating, but we went ahead for the sake of the children. The New Year wasn't any reason for us to celebrate. With Uncle Albert and Aunt going back to their duties in London, it just left my father and five women and the five children in the Manor.

The war was still going on but we had no more men to lose, so it became a matter of indifference to us whichever way it went or was going. In spite of this, we still kept up with our knitting and sewing of things to give comfort for those that were still out there in the trenches. It was the least we could for those that were still able to fight to avenge us for the losses that we had suffered. It was at this time that my father told me about the earldom that was to have gone to my brother William.

`I have been checking through the charter that was given to our ancestor by Queen Elizabeth, and found that we can pass down the title through the female line. So, as you being a Redwood by birth, your son, though he has the last name of Brooks, is now, or I should say, will be the next Earl of Redwood.'

I was dumbfounded. I had not given this any thought whatsoever. Too much had happened to us for me to think of a thing like this. My son William to be the next Earl of Redwood. What the hell would that make me?

But before that happens,' he continued, you will, after my death, become the first Countess of Redwood.'

Dear diary, I've already used the word dumbfounded, but what other word can I use to describe what he just added to his previous statement.

`Oh father, I didn't want this! Not at the cost of William, Henry and Percy!'

`Be that as it may my child, it is yours to preserve our name and when this dreadful conflict is over, let's build it back up for your son William to enjoy. Though I cannot say I have had much enjoyment out of it,' and I could see the tears in his eyes as I knew that he was thinking of the sons he had lost as well as that of our mother.

Father,' I said taking his hand in mine. You have many years left for us to work together to do this.'

`I wish I had your faith my child, but since the loss of your mother, I really haven't the heart anymore.'

Don't say that!' I cried, what would we do without you?'

`I see more than you think Alice. You will be a tower of strength. You have already shown this over the past few months and I know that when I go, I will be leaving our house in safe hands.' I bent my head and cried at these words.

It was only after this talk dear diary, with my father that I realised how selfish I had been over the past few years. Thinking only of my own pleasure and lack of a man, I had been neglecting my son William. He'd gone off to school in Winchester at the outbreak of war, followed two years later by the twins. Now when he came back for the summer of 1917, I saw that he was almost a man himself, and I prayed to God that this war would finish soon so that he wouldn't have to go. This I wouldn't have been able to bear now that he had so much to live for, and this was what his uncles had given their lives for. For him to inherit all that was good in the world, and by God I was going to fight to see that he got it.

It was a happy but subdued summer that year, having the boys back home and we all made a fuss of them. Emma especially now that she was fourteen and becoming interested in those of the opposite sex. Clare was still too young to care one way or the other at the time. It was nice to have the laughter again of children in the Manor, but it was also a relief when it was time for them to go back to school.

We had a visit from some army officers on the lookout for houses and places like ours. They asked if we could possibly open up the wings for officers that had been wounded to recuperate. The hospitals were full to over capacity and the beds were needed for those in need of immediate treatment. We unhesitatingly agreed with the only proviso being that someone else supplied the rations and winter fuel for them as we didn't have enough food or money to support a full Manor. This was agreed, and it wasn't long before we had ambulances arriving with these wounded men. We had twenty rooms, and with trucks arriving with extra beds and bedding, finished up with just short of a hundred men being looked after by four nurses. The nurses we had placed up in the servants quarters of our part of the Manor.

I'm surprised that we hadn't thought of this ourselves and it was nice to hear laughter and singing again throughout the whole building. Aunt Victoria became somewhat of a pain. She was to be found quite often, going through the rooms of these men asking the same question more than once, if they had seen her two sons, Rupert and John. But the men tolerated her, quite understanding of her mental condition.

The bonus for us three women was that we now had men available to us instead of that dildo. After having different officers to dine with us at various times, we were able to pick out likely candidates to share our bed some nights. I picked a rather handsome Captain for myself, while Constance and Elizabeth had their choice.

It didn't take much persuasion for him to come to my room for a night-cap and a talk. I was past the age of playing coy when alone with a man, and it wasn't long before we were kissing and letting him undress me. Though his leg was still heavily bandaged and he needed a cane, he could still get his clothes off fast. I was pleased to see that I hadn't been wrong in my choice. He was quite hefty down below and it was nice to take hold off that hard piece of flesh and suck upon it. It was only a few, because I didn't think he would be able to last after being so long without a woman. Then he covered my body with his and I was thrilled at having him enter and have my field ploughed again. He shuddered as he came inside me and I saw tears of gratitude in his eyes as he kissed me before pulling out to lie on his back.

Later, after he had rested, I raised him up again with my mouth and got astride of him so that he could use his hands to massage my breasts as I worked my body up and down on his till I had my first orgasm with a man for a long time. I managed to keep him inside me for quite some time as I lay on his chest as he stroked my hair.

Constance and Elizabeth each had their man and these we kept till they were deemed fit enough to leave. So we had a steady supply of men to see to our sexual appetites and I think we helped speed up their recovery in this way during the rest of 1917 and well into 1918.

The boys were back home for the summer and had a great time having those of the men fit enough to play cricket and other games. They also loved to hear the stories that some of them told, quite a few of them being rather far fetched, but the boys loved it, and went back to school with much regret after such a happy holiday.

Father then fell ill just after they had left. He hadn't been looking well for nearly a year now. The death of mother had hit him rather badly, and now I feared the worst for he didn't seem to have the will to fight his malady. Then sadly, he passed away exactly a month before the armistice was signed.

That dear diary was when I became the Countess of Redwood, a position I had never thought of when I was a young girl. Uncle Albert and Aunt Anne returned from London for the funeral, along with Diane who was now working alongside my aunt at the hospital. The boys too came home, but went straight back after the funeral of father.

Afterwards, Uncle Albert took me to one side and said that he would take over fathers affairs when he came back to the Manor, but I was most adamant that he wouldn't.

`But you don't know anything about business,' he protested.

`Then I'll make it my business to learn. I had to learn how to run the estate, so I'll learn what father did.' We argued for several hours and he finally went away somewhat disgruntled, but I was determined that nobody else was going to get their hands on what was left of the estate's funds. These I would build up for William and the others to enjoy.

Everybody was happy at the announcement of the ending of the war, none more so than the soldiers recuperating at the Manor. Now they knew that they wouldn't have to return to the horrors that they had already been through. We still stayed as this kind of hospital for nearly another two years before the numbers dwindled and the last were finally able to leave. The beds and bedding were collected to be put into storage until they would be needed again.

It was the next summer that we lost Aunt Victoria. With the number of our soldiers starting to leave us, she became more frantic in her search for two lost sons. She took to wandering the hallways and stairs, going into each room to look for them. We found her one morning at the bottom on one of the staircases. She had evidently fallen and died during the night as a result. So once again the house was in mourning.

I suppose the only highlight of that year, if you could call it that, was the return of the groom, Arnold. He had been seriously wounded at the Battle of the Somme where the Hampshire Regiment was wiped out of existence, along with my brothers and cousins. He was one of a handful to survive and the only member of our estate to return. He was given a hero's welcome but it wasn't as gay as it could have been because it also reminded everyone of those that would never return.

Diane never came back to the Manor. She found herself a Major in the hospital, and as he had come from her own old town, married him in a registry office and went back up north.

Dear diary. It has been many months since I last opened you to tell you what has been happening at the Manor. William came home just before Arnold, having finished school, and I now took him under my wing so to speak, to teach him about the running of the Manor. He took to it like a duck to water, because he knew that this was the foundation of his heritage and was keen to learn and maybe improve on it.

Both Elizabeth and I saw that he was sweet on Emma, and both smiled and did not interfere in their courtship. It was something that we both approved of and made no attempts to discourage them in what would be a further cementing of our families together.

When the twins of Constance finally left school we had some mayhem at the Manor. Both tried to vie for the affections of Emma, and it highly amused me to watch them all try to get to the honey pot.

It got to the point where I had to call a meeting of us three girls. Well it wasn't a meeting called as such. Let's just say, that one evening of having had each other in the vernacular. What with using our mouths and hands as well as Elizabeth's, proud, ever erect dildo being used, we were in a state on contentment when the subject of the children was brought up.

It seems ludicrous in hindsight that there we were, three middle aged woman, naked, but still possessors of fine firm breasts, sitting together on a bed to talk about the future of our children. But we did, and this is what came out of our discussions. Though let me say first, it was that Howard and Daniel had come to the conclusion that they were not to be the ones to get inside the pants of Emma. William had established this domain. I must digress here to say that I actually witnessed the taking of Emma by William in one of my forays through the passages.

I stopped, as was my wont, at one of the empty bedrooms, and was just about to move on when I saw the door open. This made me stop to see who would entering a closed off bedroom. I suppose it was no surprise really to see William enter with Emma in tow.

Oh how nice it was to see two young lovers kiss, and then see the embarrassed way he acted to get Emma to sit down on the bed with him. Then with a kiss to see the furtive hand reach up and take hold of her breast that was of a nice size now. Even more so when he was able to free it from its covering, I even had twinges deep inside me as my own fires built up as I watched William take Emma's maidenhood.

She definitely had her mother's blood in her, as she seemed to be just as anxious to get her clothes off and take William's erect penis in her hand. I am proud to say that he took after his father in this respect, as it seemed quite a formidable weapon in her small hand. With his efforts, it still seemed to be a complete fumble of an entry as he got atop of her before he finally got himself inside her. She gave out a cry as he pierced her hymen but then her legs went up as he entered her fully. But like all males on their conquest at this first time of reaching their objective, came too soon. I watched his arse move in his frantic attempts to get the best, and give of his best in this first time of coupling. I could quite clearly see his member moving in and out as he moved as fast as he could, trying to give her the same satisfaction that he was getting, but from past experience, knew that she wouldn't get an orgasm at this time. Too soon he shuddered and gave out a small shout as he ground himself into her, ignoring the cries beneath him.

I just had to stay to see if he would be following up on this first time, and after a while of petting, he was aroused enough to take her again. I must say I was much pleased at this second entry. He took his time and when he had entered her, took it in slow strokes so that she could then get the benefit of being able to feel more of him inside her. He had done the right thing, because it wasn't long before she began the begging for him to go faster and deeper. I think I had an orgasm myself from just watching my son act like his father by giving the woman under him the pleasure of a sexual orgasm. God I must have been as wet as she was when he finally came, fucking her with sharp short stabs before he reared up and forced himself tight up against her.

The both cried out at his release before he fell over her body for her to fling her arms round his shoulders as they rocked in the aftermath of their coming. I didn't stop to see the cleaning up process which I knew, if he was the real son of big Willy, he would then have gone done on her to tie her forever to him.

But as I have said, I digressed. Constance and Elizabeth were both naked sitting crossed legged as I was on my bed as we discussed the children's future. It was accepted that William and Emma would get married somewhere in the near future. Clare was indifferent as she was still only ten years old, but plans had to be made. Now I had already spoken, with Constance in attendance, with the twins. Howard wanted to help out with the estate and asked if I would fund him to go to law school to become a lawyer.

Aunt Alice. William will, as we know, eventually come into the Earldom, which we hope will be far, far in the future.' The boy was already speaking as a lawyer even then, and being very diplomatic about it. My school record has been very good and I would like to become a lawyer and then, when I get my degree, put what I learn to the use of family.'

That last bit Howard,' I said, patting his hand, is the best thing you could have said. What about you Daniel?' I asked of him.

`Well there's not much I can do considering you're..., er well, still capable of running the affairs here. There's not much I can do. But I have had an idea that might appeal to you.' He was really boyish in his looks and the way he moved before he spoke of what he would like to do, reminded me of my brother Percy. Pray to God, I said to myself that he wasn't of the same mould.

I would like to travel abroad. Now I know that you own several plantations in America and some in the Caribbean, that are the basis of the family's income. I would like the chance to have a look at them and to see if all is going well with them.' It nearly broke my heart to see such pathetic eagerness on one so young. I could be like a...er, an overseer, a kind of trouble-shooter, though you haven't had much trouble with them I believe. Maybe I can make recommendations of some sort, or whatever,' he finished somewhat lamely. God, he is like Percy, I thought, but the boy was willing to try something different.

`Well thank you for the consideration Daniel. I will certainly take up your ideas with the family and we'll let you know.'

Constance wasn't au fait with what Daniel proposed, but what else was there that he could do, so it was agreed that he could travel to look over the families investments. Howard, I made funds available for him to go law school and encouraged him in this.

It was nice to see that several years later, Clare seemed to attach herself to Howard, and followed him about when they were both at the Manor. If, and when they did get to do it together, it was an event that I missed. Maybe they had taken a leaf out of our book and had found the summer house down by the lake.

So this was how we went into the future, but I'm pleased to say that Daniel found himself a wife while he was out in America. Quite a wealthy heiress and so my fear that he may have been like Percy were, well, laid to rest.

Well that my dear diary has brought us virtually up to date. Elizabeth has been visited twice now by one of the ex wounded officers, and there's a chance she may marry again, but we'll have to wait and see on that point. We still have our regular get together, even though we are now well into our mature years, we are still firm busted enough and have a healthy sex urge to have fun in our own way. Though, unbeknownst to them, I have had Arnold a couple of times on the quiet in the barn. They might be satisfied with a dildo, but I still like the real thing. Arnold himself, I think, is quite pleased that he has the odd chance to fuck the Countess.

And so my dear diary, I think I should finish at this point. They may be other things that crop up I may wish to tell you, but, let me just say that we are now all content in our little world and hope to remain so for many years to come.

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