Forfeiture of Dignity 1
Forfeiture of Dignity
Chapter 1 Warning Signs
I was a bit nervous about going to the Chapin's party since the last one got out of hand and we had to leave early. Nether of us was use to such out-in-the-open sex but times were changing and the title wave of modernity was welling before us and we had to make a decision to swim with it or dive down below it and hope for it to wash on by. I say this as if we were of one mind but I was soon to find out that no two people perceive a problem the same way let alone approach the solution alike. I was about to find that out the hard way.
Caitlyn wasn't as shocked as I was at the pot smoking and open sexuality at the last party given by our friends and neighbors, Dave and Dianne Chapin. Dave had been Caitlyn's boss at a jewelry shop in the mall where she worked all the while going to college and during the time we were dating. It was Dave that clued us in on the availability of the apartment we eventually moved into after we got married. Our apartment was diagonally above theirs in a large two story unit where the doors to the four apartments were clustered together on this end of the long building that housed twelve apartments in three clusters two up and two down. It was an OK place for us to start our lives together; sufficiently far away from our parents and relatives but close to most of our friends, some of whom lived in the same complex and were also launching their marital voyages around the same time. Dave was two years older than me and Dianne was only nineteen but they had been married for four years, coincidentally, equal to the age of their son. They apparently had tied the knot just after the blond blue eyed beauty gave birth to Brian. What is amazing is that Dave is very fair of skin with blue eyes and reddish hair and Brian has very dark skin with curly black hair and doesn't resemble either of his parents. Everyone we met has mentioned the obvious in hushed tones even when no one else was about as if they were afraid to say it out loud: Despite Dianne's tender age at the time, Dave had been a cuckold even before they married!
Their history was no concern of mine or of ours since both Caitlyn and I liked them as friends and, since we lived so close to them, spent a lot of time with them. They, being handicapped with the care of a child, could not travel with us or go out on the town very often so we use to spend time at each other's places to play card games or board games like Risk or Monopoly and the like. Occasionally, Dianne and I would play chess. She was very good at it; far better than me but we both liked to play and did it every chance we got, that is, when we were permitted by our spouses. Dave and Caitlyn had formed a fast friendship from the time they worked together. Caitlyn had moved on upon getting her degree in business administration and was now herself a manager in a small legal office where her group handled all of the administrative and transcription work for the firm. Although she had earned a bachelors degree with very respectable grades and I respect her intellect, I was suspicious of the motives of the senior partner of the firm who hired her since her beauty far exceeded her resume having only worked as a jewelry store clerk before managing this small but important function of that business. Dave, on the other hand, was still a jewelry store manager. He had a very winning personality and could charm most anybody. He wasn't, however, the brightest light bulb.
Ah, Dianne! She was strikingly beautiful, extremely witty and exceptionally intelligent. She had it all yet all of it appeared to be wasted in her union with this lackadaisical guy. I couldn't help but wonder what could have been had she not become a mother at such a tender age. I was almost wishing that things would have been different for her and she had attended a college and developed her potential. I have to admit that I was taken by her charms as almost every male that met her was. I could see it in men's eyes as they looked at her. Her face and striking bright blue eyes would freeze men in their tracks. There was no way to break eye contact with her once it was made. Only she could release you from her hold with a demure gaze and slight downward movement of her head. It was great theater since she didn't have a shy bone in her body. What she did have was absolute control over the panoply of feminine wiles. I admit that I too was seduced. I was struck by her beauty and challenged by her intelligence. In our couple's relationship, she and I did most of the talking. It didn't matter what the topic was, we were able to explore and analyze, every facet of any premise. I was amazed how she could even entertain a discussion about thing like engineering and physics in which she had no formal training but she did it. She had the ability to draw sufficient information from her counterpart in a discussion, or in our case her opponent in an argument, for her to form an opinion which was usually opposite of mine, and defend it with astounding mental agility. I have lost arguments with her on subjects in which I thought I was expert. I wish I knew the mechanisms of her brain because she could come up with things I completely missed in formulating my own opinion. The force of her argument and clarity of position often forced me to change mine. One thing we were in lock step with was politics, both of us raving capitalists and thoughtfully liberal on social issues. Neither of us could tolerate the tirades from the usual hard left and hard right but especially from the socialist left. Neither of us considered ourselves to be in the political center. We kind of formed our own position which would probably be somewhere right of center of the then current political divide. Because of our harmony, we never found a political issue to engage in debate. Surprisingly, it was in our area of detente where I discovered that she was more of an activist to my passive tolerance.
Dave and Dianne threw great parties where everyone had a lot of fun. The apartments we lived in were spacious but not huge. Caitlyn and I had filled ours with a lot of furniture we bought and things we got from out families but we still had room to entertain. But, Dave and Dianne's place was sparsely furnished, most of it by folding chars and collapsible card tables used as end tables to the single over-sized sofa they got as a hand-me-down from Dave's parents. It was huge and could easily sit five people. There really was nothing else other than the table and four chairs in the dining area of the open space kitchen. Even their TV was in their bedroom so, the only things other than the items I mentioned that were usually scattered around the place were Brian's numerous and ubiquitous toys. The only time they weren't underfoot was during the frequent parties that the Chapin's had.
Yea, it was one of those parties that absolutely changed my life. It didn't have to happen but, as I look back, I didn't really put up much resistance. I had plenty of warning. Not only didn't I heed the warning signs but I plunged headlong into it unable to resist the draw if the illicit. Still, I wouldn't have collapsed had it not been for Caitlyn's lead. Thinking back on it, I can't believe how easily she cast off her morals slithered into the abyss of immorality.
That one party, the warning party, was the real beginning of our plunge. It had started out like all of the others we attended but at some point, the sexual banter morphed into sexual action and, to my absolute horror, it was Caitlyn who started it. The music was hot and loud. She was dancing very provocatively but not with me. I was an observer sitting in the corner watching the scene before me evolve and I was not the only one. At one point, I looked around and observed that all male's eyes were on my Caitlyn, gawking at her suggestive moves. The hem of her already short skirt had worked its way up to where her pantied crotch was clearly visible between her splayed and writhing thighs. The deep cleft of her vulva glaringly visibly to the herd of stallions now on scent. As she rotated in the swirl of dance, the crowd was alternately treated to the undulations of her creases both front and back. I was as transfixed as the rest of them, only occasionally peering higher to watch her magnificent breasts bounce and sway counter the undulations of her full hips and synchronous with the throbbing beat of the music. That beat, that pounding, pumping, pulsing, pervading beat conquered and captivated us all. That beat! It became our unifier, our driver, our collective pulse. Everyone moved, talked, drank in rhythm with that beat. Everyone's leer was solicited by the lure of the beat.
Looking up further to my Caitlyn's beautiful face, it was obvious from her unlocked gaze and dreamy expression that she was in a state of sensual bliss and in communion with the other celebrants of the dance. Her movements, though graceful, exuded sensuality and more so, raw sex. This was completely out of character for her, at least, in my experience with her. She has always been modest and demure since the day I met her. In fact, that was one quality in her that I found becoming that someone so beautiful and so smart could be so modest. I was a little shocked at myself for enjoying her exhibition. Not only was I titillated by her unveiling but I was stimulated by the attention she was getting from the stable of proud steeds looking on. Glancing around, I couldn't help but notice the bulging of their crotches and more than a couple of them clearly sporting full erections unable to be disguised by their trousers. The girls too looked captivated by her rhythmic caracole and fluid gyrations. I couldn't tell if their interest was as prurient as the men but suspected that to be the case considering the mood that has descended upon the entire room and that was entirely due to Caitlyn's performance.
The party now had a very different atmosphere. The guys realizing that not all of them, if any, would have a chance to score on Caitlyn began to focus their erotic desires on more attainable catch. Considering that only married couples were at the party, I was astonished by the amount of sniffing and luring going on inter-couple. Actually, the pairing ended up being all extra-couple. Caitlyn was dancing with yet another woman's spouse who herself was kind of cuddling with another's husband, and so on, and so on. Since I was the only one sitting alone, I looked around for the sole unaccompanied female and there she was in the kitchen: Dianne my forensic adversary and friend.
I was enjoying watching my wife even though all the other men were also but I was feeling kind of out of it. Thinking that Caitlyn was enjoying herself with a little harmless exhibitionism, I got up and went over to Dianne and started a conversation with her as she was preparing some more party snacks.
She looked up at me and said, "I'm happy you're the one!"
Confused by her statement, I asked her what she meant.
Looking a little confused herself, she said, "You know, you're mine for the rest of the night."
"What does that mean?" I asked with an inquisitive furled brow.
She calmly replied, "You know, to do with as I please."
The expression on my face required no words on my part to express my shock and confusion.
""Relax," she said, "I won't bite you! Go on back out to the party. I'll be with you in a minute. I have to slice this cheese and prepare some crackers. Go on! Go! Go!"
I obediently slinked back to my lonely chair and plopped down on it like a sulking child. Looking up, I couldn't find Caitlyn. A lot of people were now up dancing, if that is what you could call it. It looked like they were all humping each other rather than dancing. With the kind of music that was playing, you would expect people to be dancing facing each other but separate. Instead, people were clinging to each other in what looked like vertical coitus.
I was happy that Caitlyn was not among them but seriously worried about her whereabouts. Where could she be? Wherever it was, she was with the guy she was dancing with since neither was in the room. I got up and went to the sliding glass door that led to the patio and peered out to see if they were outside. My heart jumped into my throat as I saw what looked like a pair of bare female legs bouncing in the air and a man with his trousers around his ankles lying between the shapely splayed legs humping like a dog. I felt faint. I was sure that I was watching my bride get fucked by another man. My mouth was agape and I couldn't make a sound. I just watched while he pounded her until he finally thrust his hips into her as he obviously dumped his seed deep inside. With that done, he swiftly withdrew his penis and stood up to pull up his pants leaving her lying there with her legs open and hr hairy cunt leaking a huge amount of excess semen. I couldn't take my eyes off of her cunt but if I did, I would have seen that the owner of that pussy was not my Caitlyn but a friend of hers that we often go to Sunday Mass together with her husband Jay. Unaware of reality, I sank to my knees in grief and despair. This dumb move was mistaken by her as my getting into position for sloppy seconds. I finally came around to recognize the voice as Barbara's as she begged me to mount her quickly. I didn't know how to react but I knew that I was relieved that it wasn't Caitlyn. I immediately got to my feet and resumed my search for her. She wasn't out back and not in the living room or kitchen so I sprang across the room and headed to the bedrooms. No one was in Brian's room but two couples were on Dave and Dianne's bed doing the nasty but neither woman was my other half. In desperation, I went to the front door which was open and lo and behold, there she was. Standing there fully clothed and unruffled, a hopeful sign, but my confidence was dashed as I realized that she had been toking on a doobie as I came to the doorway. I had never seen her do anything like that and was extremely disappointed in her but probably nowhere near the crushing disappointment I would have felt had it been she getting fucked on the back porch. Even so, I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her over to our apartment door and up the steps to our love nest.
Caitlyn looked scared when we got upstairs. She started to make excuses and protested that it was her first time and she felt pressured to try it. Honestly, I probably would have completely overlooked the doobie given my relief at her apparent fidelity. However, doubts began to creep in as I remembered who she was passing the doobie with. It was Barbara's husband Jay. My mind was again spinning. Considering what I saw his wife doing, what was Jay trying to do. Her behavior was so unabashed; he must have known what she was doing. He must be complicit in her actions. He must be cut of the same cloth. I saw how he danced with Caitlyn. I'm sure it was a prelude to intercourse. The two of them apparently were alone together for a sufficient amount of time for anything to have happened. Maybe they were making out before I found them. Maybe he was feeling her up. His finger could have been in her cunt. Maybe his cock was in her hands or even in her mouth. The effect this reflection was having on me was the opposite of what I expected. I got a raging hard on. Just the thought of her hands on another man's cock caused my erection to expand to unprecedented proportions. Picturing her on her knees with Jays cock in her mouth pushed me over the top and I expelled a prodigious amount of sperm into my boxers and down my pant leg. I could do nothing to curtail it and just stood there as I pumped spurt after spurt of cum in my pants. The wet semen soaked through to display my shame.
The auto-ejaculation did little to quell my raging lust. Even the feel of the semen coating my cock and running down my leg surged my desire. I had never before been so excited following an orgasm. Often my climax was like a master-switch that when tripped, shut me down in an instant. Sometimes it happened in mid-cum before I was finished shooting my load. When that happened it reversed all traces of sexual passion and desire. In fact, it often roused feelings of repulsion for my partner, even while my softening cock was still in her. I shouldn't call her my sex partner because the only sex partner I ever had was my beautiful wife, there never was anyone else. This time, things were different. I was getting even harder from the pornographic theater in my head. It was so real that I could see my beautiful wife lying back as Jay positioned himself between her widely spread legs. She was pulling her cunt lips apart while feigning protest of her ultimate fate.
"No! No! My husband...What will he think? I cannot let you have me!" she said over and over in a calm unconvincing monotone.
Holding her gash wide with the fingers of her right hand, she reached for his enormous cock with the other, blinding me with the refraction of light by the diamonds of her wedding band. The glittering light sparkled all along his shaft and down on his huge ball sack. My eyes followed that hand guided by the diamond laser emanating from her ring finger. Her thin and elegantly shaped fingers lightly hefted his enormous scrotum to test the weight of the massive orbs within. I could see the skin envelop her dainty fingers as his balls flopped on either side of her slim digits and abruptly slam back together beneath her fingers from their sheer mass of his enormous testes. She withdrew her fingers from the embrace of his scrotum and slowly moved them up the long shaft lightly pressing upon the prodigious vein that bulged beneath his shaft from base to crown with her fingertips, forcing the fluid contained within to accumulate at the slit on the tip of the towering column. I could see the resulting dew drop form and as it got larger, strain against gravity as it hung onto the bottom of the slit from which emerged. When her fingers reached that slit forming a void on the crown, the clear fluid was drawn by the capillary formed between her fingers. With the constraining drop gone, fluid began to flow from opening that bisected the head of the huge gland. The clear effluent cascaded down her fingers and accumulated in her palm eventually rolling off one side and through the cracks between her now relaxing fingers where it adhered to the back of her inverted hand and slid down over her wrist and down her forearm. It was as thick as corn syrup and as clear as watch glass. It clung to her hand but as the volume grew, gravity finally forced a break in the adhesion and it dropped with a splash on her cunt below forming a glistening fiber connection between her hand and slit. It poured down the transparent pipeline to accumulate at the top of her crease and flowed further down her crack. It first coated and encased the hood of her clitoris until she brought the fingers that were holding her gash open into play and massaged the clear liqueur directly onto the swelling bud beneath. Her clit was amazing. When fully inflated, it was as long as a baby boy's erect penis and just as fat. It seldom ever got that big though. She had to be extremely excited for that to happen. Usually, it looked like the tip of a pudgy pinky finger poking from beneath its hood but clearly was her principle G-spot. I always concentrated on it in our love making. She was multi-orgasmic under clitoral stimulation and often enjoyed that talent by herself without me when she could get it standing proudly erect, it looking shockingly like a penis. She often performed the spectacle for me and now she was bedazzling a stranger with this obscene display in the theater of my mind.
I tried to break from the anoetic vision to deal with the reality of my wife smoking pot but I had a hard time relinquishing the hold of the titillating dream. I was standing right in front of her holding her by the shoulders and just far enough away that she couldn't feel my boner. She had a very curious expression on her face but then I realized that she was scrutinizing what must have been a truly weird expression on mine while I was lost in a sexual reverie. I could still detect fear in her expression since my ire was obvious and she knew she disappointed or, at least she thought she did. In reality, her imprudence actually aroused extreme sexual desire in me. She had no idea that she already driven me to climax without even touching me. I usually took a reasonable amount of direct stimulation to set me off. It took only the thought of her with another man to put me over the top and I clearly wasn't finished. I was still hard and wanted to feel my cock imbedded in her where the phantom penis had violated our marriage. I needed to feel the residual heat of their illusionary union. I wanted to soak in the phantasm of his potent seed. That nearly did it. The thought of placing my penis in a pool of another man's sperm freshly deposited in my bride's vagina drove me to near ecstasy. A thrill shot up and down my spine and further inflated my already over engorged penis causing exquisite pain. For the first time, my penis became the center of my being, my focus, my motivator, my conscience.
I am normally driven by curiosity for the physical world around me but grievously constrained by the chains of rigor of logical thought. The only relief I ever get from this dialectic is in surrendering to carnal love with Caitlyn; the basest form of love. When performed within the bands of marriage it is exalted as the very purpose for human existence. It is mystical and noncorpreal. It is the reason for there being a man and a woman, male and female, the reason for life. The sex act in this context has religious connotations as it is recognized by society with both solemn and joyous celebrations. Celebrated at the initiation of the sexual union with the wedding feast and each time successful copulation is confirmed by the birth of a child, it is evidenced by all sorts of fete and regale. Amazingly, like all religions, hypocrisy reins supreme. There is no proof of the fidelity within the marital sacrament. Practiced in the privacy of the marital chamber out of site to the faithful, it is only in their belief that fidelity is assured within that union. Witnesses are prohibited by society, the purposeful observation of the sex ace levied as a mortal sin worthy of eternal damnation to the fires of hell. The wedding ring is like a "witness" in Christian evangelism. As practiced in secret, no one really knows who is copulating with whom. Human nature would dictate that marital infidelity is common but our belief set is built around deceiving the faithful that fidelity is absolute. I am, or was, one of the blind faithful.
Spurred on by this persistent erotic dream, I was now dallying with heresy. I was rationalizing a case of infidelity by my wife. No, not rationalizing but contemplating her indiscretion. No, that's not it either. I desired it, was wishing for it. I was so excited by the fantasy; I actually wanted to see and feel what I had imagined. I wanted to be there and watch her surrender her body to another man. I wanted to participate, be part of it. The self-imposed degradation was driving me toward another sexual peak. This time I didn't want to waste the experience. I wanted full sexual contact. I wanted to wallow in my urge even if it didn't include another man. I would supply the other lover in my mind; for now.
I tightened my grip on Caitlyn's shoulders and directed her backward toward the bedroom, steering her to our altar. She broke into a knowing smile and naively followed along with my fantasy or, at least, her perception of it. Entering the room, I backed her up to the bed and gave a playful push that plopped her flat on her back and she flung and held her legs up and apart for my amusement and enticement. I was shocked to see the large wet spot on the crotch of her panties and my confidence as a man sunk even further while questions about what really happened flew through my mind. Did Jay fuck her? Was that his sperm? Did they have enough time to fuck? Where could they have done it?
I tried to resolve those questions as I stood staring at her crotch. Sure there was enough time for them to do it because I was watching his wife get fucked and loaded with sperm. They had plenty of time. They could have used Brian's bedroom since he was at his grandma's house and the room was vacant when I looked. For that matter, they could have done it anywhere in the apartment. Everyone there but me seemed to be entangled in some kind of sexual act as I searched for her. My worst fears seemingly confirmed in my mind, I needed to know if that wet spot was sperm. I reached for the narrow band of fabric and slid my fingers under the elastic leg band to feel the texture of the damp on the fabric. It was inconclusive. The remnant liquid was slippery and thick to the touch. I could feel an ample supply of the substance on the back of my fingers coating her entire vulva. My heart continued to sink as the volume of the liquid seemed to confirm my suspicions.
Logic tried to reinsert itself in my thinking as I noticed that Caitlyn wasn't the least bit reluctant in letting me inspect her crotch. I would assume that resistance would be the natural reaction to my probing if she were guilty of something. Yet, I don't recall her ever being so excited that she produced this much lubrication at any point in our sexual history. Maybe it wasn't fucking Jay that caused this. Maybe it was thinking about fucking Jay that opened her flood gates to this degree.
I don't know why I did what I did next but I scooped up as much of the puree that my fingers could capture and brought it to my nose to examine the musk and almost immediately sucked them into my mouth, not so much to examine the slime but to experience it. The experience made me lightheaded to think that I may have tasted another male's sperm while confirming my bride's betrayal. But, the jury was still out. The taste was very familiar. It was a very clean tasting with only a hint of sexual bouquet. It tasted like her. My doubts, though, again asserted themselves as I realized that I had no idea what sperm tasted like. I just assumed that it would be strong and pungent on the palate but I could be wrong. Although I never got it in my mouth, my jizz didn't have much of a smell at all so I guess it could also tasteless or maybe taste like what is in my mouth. The thought that I could have Jay's sperm in my mouth re-hardened my cock. I kept thinking, sperm in my mouth... sperm in my mouth...
I unfastened my pants and flung myself on top of Caitlyn before they hit the ground. My stiff member slammed into her panty covered cunt with enough force to make her cry out in pain. I was so excited that I could feel no pain, only desire. Sensing my urgency, she struggled trying to slough off her panties but I couldn't wait. I reached down and slid the crotch band over enough to allow my throbbing member access to her overly heated cunt and forced my way into her vagina with one swift plunge. She screeched in reaction to the sudden violation but resigned herself to her fate with a grimace on her face. The heat of penetration enveloped my penis submerged in a bath of mystery fluid. I held still hoping to avert an immediate climax but the struggle nearly mastered me when the thought that I was soaking in another mans cum flashed through my mind but I would not surrender. I needed to assert that I wasn't a cuckold. I needed to regain my place as a man and the stronger half of this relationship. Slowly, very slowly I began to move within her. First it was a side to side motion at full depth that evolved into a kind of rotation. I had to pause again to purge my mind of all thoughts of another man with her, or with us.
After regaining full control, I proceeded to make love to my wife in the most ardent and tender manner of our marriage to date. The grimace left her face and she peered into my eyes with the same level of devotion he expressed on that first night of our honeymoon. I could feel unconditional love through the merger of our souls and I returned her love in kind.
The leg band of her panty was cutting into the side of my penis and was apparently distracting her also so we broke long enough to get fully naked before resuming our love making. She liked sexual banter and to talk dirty during sex. I never really liked it thinking it smutty and beneath her but I always played along since it really got her juices flowing. She, knowing me better than I know myself, revealed me after only a few slutty comments.
She whispered, "I know you got turned on thinking I fucked Jay, didn't you."
I couldn't say anything because the open admission would have thrown my directly into orgasm. Just her accusation almost sent me there. I did acknowledge her with a timely grunt which she picked up on and continued with increasing mockery.
"That really turned you on. Maybe I should fuck him and then come home to tell you all about it. Would you like that?" she said almost too convincingly.
She was a master of dirty talk in the bedroom and used it regularly during our lovemaking but never had she been this specific. Usually it was hint or innuendo about infidelity but never a threat. Now, it was out there. I couldn't tell it was harmless banter or if she was suggesting that she really go out and fuck Jay. Part of me, the part that drove me to fantasy wanted it to be true but the rational me was crushed at the very suggestion of it. The dichotomy was tearing me apart emotionally. I had never before reached these heights of sexual pleasure but I couldn't let go of my life long moral code. The thought of her cuckolding me made me sick to the stomach but it also was driving me to new sensual highs. My mind had drifted for a second and I lost some of what she was saying but came back in time to hear her say:
"Can you see his big cock in me? See how big his balls are. See how thick his big cock is. See it going in and out as he fucks me... OOH...OOOOHH'
That one almost got me but when she said, "See it pulsing as he shoots his sperm in my. Can you see his cum leaking out of me?"
That one did it. I yelled out loud as I shot volley after volley of my own sperm into the same sheath I envisioned Jay spurting his. I grunted loudly with each pulse of my cock until the contractions stopped but the sperm still oozed until I could be emptied of the potent substance of procreation. She, in harmony, lost herself in orgasmic rapture unlike any I witnessed before. Usually, she enjoyed many intense but somewhat muted peaks evidenced by grunts, groans, and occasional yipes or screeches but never the all out violent screaming orgasm I was now witnessing. Normally concerned about being overheard through the thin walls of the apartment while we were having sex, her reactions in the past had always been subdued and rather quiet. I had never heard her scream so loudly nor seen her so animated during sex. As the throes of her orgasm began to subside, she threw her arms and legs around me and squeezed so hard that I had difficulty breathing. My pelvis was pulled tightly to hers and I could feel her pelvic muscles clench my diminishing erection. The sensation was amazing like oral sex. Not as intense or physically profound but stimulating none the less. I could feel our combined juices slowly flowing along the underside of my shaft being forced by the contractions of her vagina. Further. I felt it trickle down between my scrotum and her pudendum. I tried to pull back enough to continue fucking her but her legs held me like a vice but my movements allowed a large amount of the sperm I dumped into her escape and flow between us to the mattress below. Her reactions and these new sensations were taking me to a level of sexual arousal I had never reached before but, amazingly, it wasn't evident physically. My penis continued to shrink allowing more fluid to escape and increase my awareness of our situation. Emotionally, I was thrashing as violently as Caitlyn had at the peak of her sexual fulfillment but none of it was visible on me. I had reached a level of sexual enjoyment that was not physical. I feared that it was not truly masculine.
We lie there locked in embrace for what seemed to me to be an eternity. My retreating penis had been expelled from her sheath by the force of her continuing contractions. My now flaccid member was disgorged along with nearly all of the seed I deposited at the peak of my passion; the expulsion being symbolic of my apparent emotional rejection as the sire to her progeny. The retrenchment of my genitals belied the thrill I was actually experiencing at being rebuffed. As a would-be cuckold, I wallowed in the pit of emotional anguish. My mind swirled with her words, no, not her words but her thoughts, her desires. The thought of her infidelity intrigued me and titillated me. Inside my passions boiled while my potency dwindled. In my heart, I knew I had assumed a new role in our marriage.