Hearts Desire

By Libnos

Published on Feb 10, 2023

Transgender

HEART'S DESIRE - 1

By Agena

As a male I'd always had a strong attraction the female figure. Even from my earliest days of puberty I found a deep attraction to the soft curves of breast, hips and buttocks moving down into full, soft thighs all centered around the holiest of holy; the gently rounded mons, the place of female passion. It seemed to be an primeval force that attracted me to it and wanted me to play homage to it in gut wrenching lust. I didn't know whether I was the only male with such a strong desire, but the comments of my peers when they discussed their desires regarding females, indicated that their primary focus was breast, legs and ass and sinking their cocks inside that warm, tight and slippery place. I felt a desire for this also and was normal in this regard, but additionally, I had this strong urge to fall on my knees and worship at the vee of the female form. This was especially true when I observed a young nubile figure with hip hugging jeans, and a belly shirt with exposed skin. Only a minor thickness of cloth kept me from my heart's desire.

My first experience with this holy place came when I was fifteen and a neighbor girl of the same age and I playing in our garden shed. We gave vent to our curiosity about the opposite sex and indulged in french kissing and playing "stink finger" on a large bale of peat moss. I managed to get my tongue in her mouth and she eagerly sucked on it as my hands roamed over her body. My first feel of a female breast, as I reached up under her shirt, was awesome in its exquisite softness through her bra and inflamed me to be more bold in the explorations with my other hand. With her arms about my neck and her lips clinging to mine she moaned as I put my hand on her thigh and moved it upward toward her crotch. I didn't know how far she's let me go with my explorations but in my lust I pressed on till my finger touched her and she moaned again. This gave me encouragement to continue and I began to rub her there through her tight jeans.

I leaned over and moved her down till she was laying back on the bale as I continued to rub her crotch. Her hips began to buck up against my hand and I removed my hand from her breast and moved it to the buckle of the wide belt setting low on her hips. I struggling to undo it with one hand and she suddenly removed her arms from around my neck and without releasing my lips on hers quickly opened the buckle raised her hips and slid her jeans off. Resuming her hold about my neck I was now free to caress her sex through her bikini panties. She was wet there and I could feel her pubic hairs and the lips of her vagina through her cotton panties. I moved my hand up and slipped my fingers behind the elastic band of her panties and down to the silky wetness of her sex and tentatively inserted a finger. My efforts were rewarded with a loud moan and a tightening of her arms about my neck as her lips and tongue attacked my mouth.

I suddenly had a powerful urge to kiss her down there and breaking her hold on my lips and neck I slid my face down to her breasts and suckled each of her nipples. Moving further down I swabbed out her naval briefly and then slowly proceeded down across her bare midriff toward the 'promised land'. She placed her hands on my head encouraging me lower and I slid off the bale onto my knees between her legs. The heady aroma of her arousement filled my nostrils as I moved my tongue down across her panties until I felt the lips of her sex. I began to work against it through the thin material in the same manner as my fingers had been doing previously. The smell and taste of her excited me immensely as I vigorously probed her crotch. She moaned and pressed my face tightly into her crotch and raised her knees till her heels rested on the edge of the bale and then began bucking her hips against me. The wetness of her crotch increased dramatically as I pressed on. My cock was throbbing in my jeans but in my lust for worshiping her pussy I didn't try for my own release. I felt her hands leave my head and she slipped her panties off leaving me with full access to her sex. Her hands returned to my head and guided my tongue to her clit and when I felt her respond energetically to my ministrations there I worked my tongue eagerly against the little nub. At the same time I slipped a finger into her love channel.

"Oooohhh!!" she moaned out loud and I was afraid someone would hear but I couldn't stop my attempts to please her. I was finally rewarded when her hips thrust up against my face, her thighs tightened on my head and her body stiffened and strained in the midst of an orgasm followed by a long sigh of pleasure as the ecstacy slowly faded. I kept licking her soaked lips lightly as she recovered

"That was wonderful." she murmured.

I moved up to kiss her but when she took one look at my face she grimaced and informed me, "That's gross, I think you ought to wash." then she got up and pulled her panties and jeans back on; leaving me kneeling with my messy face by the bale and a throbbing cock I went home and masturbated in my room after sneaking past my mother in the kitchen. Afterward, I reluctantly washed my face of her lovely smell.

The neighbor girl and I spent many happy hours in the shed that summer and I acquired an addictive liking for the smell and taste of her cunt. I also gained quite a bit of knowledge about cunt lapping and pleasuring women. She never would touch my cock or allow me to put it in her but I didn't mind as I would masturbate myself while doing her; shooting my cum all over the end of that bale of peat moss. She moved away that fall and I was devastated that her cunt was gone from me. It took me several weeks to get over my loss and several years to find a similar relationship except for occasional dates but I found out after awhile that I was gaining an unsavory reputation in high school because of my fetish so I reluctantly put it on hold.

I often wondered about how that neighbor girl handled future relationships. Did she ever put out, did she just expect oral sex or did she become a lesbian?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My next opportunity came when I was in college. By this time I had determined that I was not only looking for a girl who wouldn't be turned off by my deviant tastes but one who was intelligent. I felt somehow attracted to a female who was more intelligent than I and wanted her to control and lead me. I don't know where or how this need came from but I unknowingly included it in the attributes required in my search for the woman of my fantasies.

As I was enrolled in the school of BusAd as a junior when I found her. I had seen her on campus and she was even in one of my classes so I had an opportunity to observe her up close. She seemed to be pretty much of a loner. She wore baggy clothing over what I judged was a small frame, no makeup or very little, had nice features with bright brown eyes that sparkled with intelligence and dark hair pulled back in a pony tail. She walked purposefully with a stride similar to a man's instead of a woman's step. I could tell from the questions she asked or responded to in class that she was sharp and very intelligent. I knew I had to get to know her and impress her without showing myself as a dumus.

My opportunity came at lunch one day when I picked up my tray in the cafeteria and looked for a place to sit down. There appeared to be two available on the far wall but I saw her seated by herself eating a sandwich and reading. Crossing my fingers I went across to her table and asked, "Is this seat taken?" She was momentarily startled by my intrusion on reading focus but she nodded and said, "Sure, help yourself."and went back to her reading as I sat down.

I pulled a text book on the course we shared from my back pack and began to study it as I ate hoping she might notice it and comment on it, thereby giving me an opportunity to open a conversation. Nothing happened to interrupt her reading till she finally closed her book, stood up and prepared to leave. She spotted my text and As I hoped she commented, "I see you take my economic class."

Looking up, I smiled what I hoped was my friendliest manner and said, "Yes, I sit in the back and you sit in the front. How do you like Professor Manley?"

"He's pretty good. I'm getting a lot out of his class. How about you?"

"Yes, I like him. Are you up for his quiz on Friday?"

"I think so."

This I hoped was my opportunity, "Would you like to get together and review some material for the quiz? My name is Ryan "

She looked at me sort of surprised and responded, " My name is Jennifer, Jen for short. Where do you want to do it?"

"How about this evening at the library?"

"OK, seven all right?"

"See you then Jen." I told her as she turned and walked away. I watched her go amazed at my good luck and feeling pleased with myself that I hadn't goofed up. It gave me a thrill of anticipation in my groin and the start of a hard-on.

After dinner, I couldn't wait to and was at the library front lobby by 6:30 sitting on a bench waiting for her. At seven she hadn't showed up and I thought I'd been stood up but at ten after she came through the library doors and nodded as she saw me waiting for her. She was wearing a long coat buttoned to the top over what appeared to be jeans underneath and sneakers. "Sorry I'm late. I was studying and lost track of time."

"That's OK. Lets go in the lounge and grab a table."

When we got to a table in the lounge, she removed her coat and I almost gasped out loud when I saw her. She was wearing a loose sweat shirt and jeans but they couldn't hide the perfect female body underneath the clothes. I must have made some involuntary move or had a funny look on my face because she looked at me and asked, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing." I responded as I pulled out a chair for her. "I thought I saw someone I knew at that table over there but I was mistaken."

She gave me another look and sat down. I sat in the chair next to her and pulled out my text book and notes from my book bag. We spent the next our going over the class material and I was impressed by the sharp, insightful grasp she had of it and how she exhibited such confidence and self control. When we were done, I asked," Do you want to go over to the diner for a cup of coffee?"

"I'd better not. I have another test on Friday I have to study for."

"OK, can you do a movie on Friday night?"

"Sure, what time?"

"I'll pick you up a six. I think the feature starts at 6:30. Where are you staying?"

"I'm in dorm no.11."

"OK, I'll see you then and thanks for going over this stuff with me Jen, I needed the review."

"Anytime Ryan. See you Friday."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was in a state of euphoria for the rest of the week and after all the work I'd put in preparing for the quiz on Friday I almost blew it. Jen was sitting up at her desk and every time I looked at her I couldn't concentrate thinking of being with her that evening. However, I managed to focus long enough to finish it. After class I saw her in the hall and she asked, "How did it go?"

"No problem thanks to you." I lied.

"See you later then." she told me as she walked off.

Later that evening I went to her dorm to pick her up. I was still excited and nervous but I managed to maintain some control when I picked her up. She was wearing the long coat again but it looked like she had on her jeans too. This time she had a touch of lip stick and it made her lips look wide and sexy. We rode in my old car into town and the local movie house. After buying some pop corn we went in to catch the early feature. It was an R rated action thriller and she let me hold her hand during the show. She didn't flinch during the scenes of violence and mayhem but watched with avid interest. During one scene where the hero appears to go down on the heroine I felt her hand tighten on mine or maybe mine tightened on hers. She didn't take her eyes off the screen even though you couldn't see anything, just the heroine's face as she appeared to come to an orgasm. This brought a mutually hard hand squeeze. I was beginning to hope I'd found my soul mate at last.

After the movie we went to Wendys and had burgers and coke and then drove slowly back to her dorm. I didn't want the evening with her to end and tried to make conversation but she seemed to not want to talk. When I parked outside her dorm I turned to her and thanked her for a nice evening.

"Thanks, I enjoyed myself too."

"Can I see you again?"

"I've got to tell you Ryan, I don't want to get too involved with anyone, as I have to keep most of my spare time for studying. However, I do think I like you and we can get together occasionally. I'm hoping we have something to share."

"That would be great. After all, all work and no play makes for Jen a boring day." I told her, laughing at my inanity, but wondering about what she meant about sharing.

She smiled at my poor attempt at rhyming, "Alright, next Friday night."

"Wonderful, what do you want to do?"

"Surprise me."

"Ok, I'll see you then ....and in class too." I added.

"See you." she said as she got out of the car and entered her dorm.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What could I do to surprise her, I wondered all week long. By Friday I still didn't have a clue. When I saw her in class that day after class I asked, "About tonight, can you give me a clue what would surprise you?"

She looked at me for a moment, Why don't you come up to my room tonight and I'll give you a surprise. I'm in 214."

Wow!! I thought but responded, "OK, About 6:30?"

"That's good. See you then." and she turned and walked away with her long strides. I watched her go and my cock moved in my pants.

At 6:30 I was at her door with a bottle of chilled wine and my heart hammering in my chest. Knocking lightly I waited a minute and she came to the door and let me in; closing it behind me as I entered. I saw she was dressed in her usual loose jeans and sweat shirt , but she had a little lip stick on her lips again. They looked very kissable.

"Hi. I brought some wine but I didn't know whether you drank."

"Thanks, yeah I have a little now and then. Do you want to open it while I dig up some cups? That's all we have." she told me as she handed me a corkscrew.

"That's OK with me." I tried to impress her with my casual grace at opening wine bottles as though I did it everyday but managed to bust up the cork, pieces of which fell into the wine bottle. My nervousness was very apparent.

"Damn!!" I muttered at my ineptitude.

"That's OK." she said as she passed me a styrofoam cup. I poured some into the cup and she had me repeat it for the second cup. There were bits of cork floating on top but we picked them off and then sat down on an old sofa facing the small TV on the end of a desk against the far wall. She sat with her stockinged feet pulled up under her; pulling the material of her jeans tightly across her thighs. I was instantly aroused by how shapely her thighs were.

"OK," I asked, "you said you'd provide the surprise."

"It's on a DVD. I think you'll like it." she said as she picked up the remote and turned the small TV on and then I noticed that it had a built-in DVD player. As we went through the usual adverts I asked,

"What's it about?"

"You'll see in a minute." she said with a little smirk on her lips as she took a sip of wine. I took a big slug on my wine. Finally, the credits started and the title of the movie appeared: 'Sweet Wine'.

"That doesn't tell me much."

"Just be patient. Its an avant garde movie that a friend of mine gave me. Its only about forty-five minutes long."

The story started in in Paris and it was about two young women who met and then fell in love. What surprised me was the very obvious sexuality of the movie. It wasn't hard core sex but more a story about a loving relation even though it was between two females. One girl took the lead in their love making and the other girl was the submissive. Although it was in French without subtitles it was easy to discern what the story line was about as the dominant one went about seducing the other. It even showed them naked and in bed with the head of the dominant girl face down on the sex of the other girl. My cock was erect and making me uncomfortable but I didn't know how to get myself comfortable without alerting Jen to my situation. I turned once to look at her and found her watching me instead of the movie. She just smiled at me and took a sip of her wine, but didn't take her eyes off me. For some reason I felt she was evaluating my reaction to the movie. In the end the submissive girl gave up the love of a boy to be able to continue to live with her girl friend. It was very sensitively done and you felt she had made the right decision.

When it was over she asked, "What did you think of it?"

"It was in French so I probably missed some of it but it was very well acted so you didn't need the words. I liked it." I noticed her wine glass was empty, as was mine. "Would you like some more wine?"

"Yes please." she said as she handed me her cup. "Its one of my favorites and I speak French so I know the dialog. I'm glad you liked it too."

I carefully got up to fill the wine cups, turning as I did so in order that she wouldn't see my rampant erection.

"I see you liked the sexy part too."

I was momentarily stunned as I stood with my back to her filling the cups. My hand jerked and splashed some wine on the desk. I knew I blushed and said, "Sorry about spilling the wine."

"I'll get something to wipe it up." she said and then suddenly appeared at my elbow with a paper towel. She wiped up the wine as I continued to face the table; afraid to turn and let her see my erection.

She went back to her seat and then said to me, "Are you going to bring my wine?" Then I heard her giggle.

Hunching myself over I slowly turned with the cups of wine and handed her one. I knew my face was blushing furiously and she giggled again as she took it from me.

"Is there something the matter with your back?" she asked. I knew she was about to break out laughing at my discomfiture as I hurriedly sat down.

"No, just embarrassed."

" I've read that men seem to find it very erotic to watch two women making love. I was just watching you to see if you reacted too. I'm doing a project for my psyche class on erotic stimulation. You're my first victim." she giggled again.

"Well, I guess it works. It sure got me excited."

"What else turns you on?"

"I guess I'm sort of horny most of the time." I didn't want her to know about my fetish concerning cunt licking. At least not yet.

Suddenly, she said, "Are you warm. I'm dying of the heat.' I hadn't noticed that it was warm but she suddenly removed her sweat shirt and I saw her upper body for the first time. She was wearing a belly shirt and she was braless. Her breasts were lovely; perfectly proportioned to her body with the shirt material hugging their contours. Her nipples stuck out prominently enhancing their beauty. She was blushing now as I gazed in awe at her and my erection pushed out the front of my jeans.

"Oh!" I gasped involuntarily.

"I see that my chest arouses you too."

"Oh yes, they're beautiful."

"Should I take off my sweats?"

I gulped down a slug of wine. I knew she was toying with me. "Oh yes, please!"

"Why don't you take off your shirt first."

I hurriedly pulled off my Corona T shirt leaving me bare chested.

"You don't have much hair."

"No, men in our family don't have much body hair." I admitted.

"That's good." she told me as she slipped off her baggy sweats. Her face glowed a brighter red as she did so. When she finished removing them she lay back on the couch to watch my reaction. It wasn't long in coming.

"Oh god!!" I was awed at what I saw. She was wearing sheer, bikini panties and I could see her pubic hair through the thin material. Her hips flared out around and seemed to encircle her place of passion like a bulls eye in the middle of a target. I desperately wanted to fall on my knees to pay homage to her most private of places.

"Would you please take off your pants so I don't feel so embarrassed."

I hurried to obey without giving thought to the my throbbing erection. Quickly, I was standing in front of her in my boxers tented out with a large wet spot at the peak. My libido was soaring and I was close to cumming.

"All the way please. I want to see."

My hands shook as I grasped the waist band of my boxers and began to pull them down. I had to reach in and pull up my cock flat against my belly in order to get the waist band over it. Then I was standing in front of her, embarrassed in my nakedness but so totally aroused I couldn't stop myself.

"Come closer please."

I made my feet move closer to her and she reached up and put her hand around my cock.

"Ooo!!" I moaned.

"Does that hurt?" she asked as she sat up on the edge of the sofa and examined my cut erection and fondled my balls.

"On no! It feels really good."

"This is the first penis I've ever held. I didn't think they got this hard. You've been circumcised haven't you?" she asked me as she continued her clinical examination.

"Yes." I gasped out. I knew I was getting closer to cumming all the time.

Have you ever see a woman's body before?" she continued with her hand wrapped around my cock.

"Yes." I responded thinking back to the girl and the tool shed.

"Would you like to tell me about it?"

"When I was fifteen this girl and I would play around."

"Did you fornicate?"

"No, she was afraid she'd get pregnant."

"What did you do then for relief?"

"We just fooled around until we came."

"What did you do exactly?

I hesitated to tell her but my libido was in such high gear I responded in a whisper, "I ate her."

"What?"

A little louder, "I ate her."

"Wow! You ate her? Was it good?"

"Yes."

"You didn't mind the smell or the taste?"

"No. I loved it." The last part was again in a whisper.

"Was that the last time you performed cunnilingus?"

"No, I did it a few times in high school."

"Do you want to do it again?"

"Oh yes!"

Would you like to do it to me?" she asked with a giggle as though she really didn't expect me to agree to do it.

"Oh yes, yes, please!"

"Wait a minute then." she giggled again at my eagerness and her boldness. She slipped off her panties and lay back with her legs spread wide. "Get on your knees." she told me and I fell quickly between her thighs like a drowning man grabbing at a life preserver.

I looked down at the sparse, dark hair the covered her crotch and saw the lips of her cunt glistening with her moisture. Her smell of arousal seemed to call to me as it filled my nostrils and my brain as I brought my face down to her sex and gently licked the length of labia. Then I began to suckle the lips of her labia. Moisture began to flow from her cunt and my face was quickly soaked in her juices. She moaned and brought her hands to the back of my head gently guiding my tongue up to her clitoris. Her hips bucked up against my face as I attacked the little nubbin.

"Ooooo! That's so good." she gasped and pressed my head down as she lifted her legs and placed her thighs on my shoulders; trapping my head between them.

I was euphoric at being back where I'd dreamed to be for several years and I tried to make up for lost time as I brought her to several orgasms. Finally, she pushed me away and I fell back on the floor gasping, but still wanting more.

"That's enough for now Ryan." I'm getting too tender down there. I've never orgasmed like that before. You really know a girl's sensitive spots."

"Thank you."

"And the girls you did it with never let you put you're penis in them?

"No."

"Truly amazing! Do you want me to masturbate you or do you want to do it yourself?"

"Would you do it?"

"Sure, sit up beside me on the couch and show me how to do it."

I sat down beside her and she reached over and took my hard cock in her hand. I wasn't that well endowed but I was comfortable with my size. Her hand didn't quite reach around its circumference and I was enthralled at the sight of her fingers with the red finger nails wrapped around it.

"What do I do?"

"Just slide your hand up and down it. If it isn't too icky you could use some of my precum for lubricant."

"What's precum?" she queried as she coated the palm of her hand with my fluid and then began to move her hand on my shaft.

"That's the fluid cumming out the top there. It helps provide a preintercourse lube to allow ease of entry in a girl's vagina."

"Oh, something like the wetness I get when I masturbate."

"I guess." I moaned as she began to speed up her movement on my cock. I knew I wasn't to far from cumming as I started to buck my hips in response.

She watched my activities with interest and I saw her smile to herself. I knew she enjoyed her control of me and it got me off thinking about it. I put my hand out and caught most of it as I erupted and I heard her squeal in excitement.

"That was awesome. You really put out a lot of it."

I collapsed back on the sofa as the last bit trickled out my slit. As I recovered myself she took some on her finger and smelled it then put her finger in her mouth to taste it.

"That smells and tastes icky." she grimaced. "Have you ever had any?"

"No, only girls and gay guys do that." Right after I said that I knew I was in trouble.

"What do you mean only girls and gay guys do that? I think you'd better rethink your position on this if you ever want to get together with me again."

"I'm sorry Jen. I didn't mean it. Please forgive me." I knew I couldn't allow her out of my life after looking so long for her.

"Well, I want to see you eat some then I'll know how sorry you are."

'Oh god, what had I done?' I thought. How am I going to get out of this?

"I don't know Jen. I..."

"Ryan, take some of your semen and eat it right now."

"OK, OK." I tried to take a little bit on the tip of my finger and slip it in my mouth. I almost gagged.

"That's not enough. Lick your hand off, then I'll know you're as serious about this as I am."

I closed my eyes and brought my hand holding my cum up to my mouth. The smell of semen overwhelmed my senses and I felt nauseous as I began licking. She watched like a hawk until I finished and wasn't satisfied until I'd cleaned it all off. She was learning that she could control me and get me to do anything she wanted.

"That wasn't bad was it? You just needed a little attitude adjustment. Now, why don't you get cleaned up and we'll get dressed. Would you like to spend the night?"

"Oh yes, may I?" I exclaimed as I got up and went into the bathroom to wash my face.

Later, after dressing we cuddled on the sofa and watched a late show. We both fell asleep there because we were in the same positions on the sofa when I awoke in the morning. When she woke we went to the cafeteria for breakfast. She was very quiet and I knew she was thinking about our relationship.

Later we went back to her place and sat back on the sofa again.

"I've been thinking Ryan. I think I want you in my life, but because my career goals are so important to me I need to continue this relationship under my terms."

"Oh yes, Jen. I want you in my life more than anything and I'm willing to live within any boundaries and limitations you set."

"Thank you Ryan." she said as she brought her lips to mine to seal our bargain.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To be continued.

Next: Chapter 2


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