If You Knew

By Purple Raven

Published on Apr 3, 2000

Gay

IF YOU KNEW WHAT I KNEW Five

Disclaimers: They are real people, but I'm using them for my own fantasy.. Get over it.. If you are eighteen, don't read.... MALE/MALE relationships...

Notes.. I will fix Brian, but in a little while, he needs to get worse before he can get better.. SORRY.


The guys all rushed into the hallway. Brian and AJ needed to get ready for the barbeque. When they ran into the guys form Nsync literally, Howie and JC plowed into each other.

"Hey JC," Howie smiled at him as he noticed who he had run into.

"Hey." JC replied, stepping back, into Joey who was busy trying to kiss Lance while walking at the same time.

"JC!" Lance cried, as he was jolted, he looked up to see why JC had backed up in the first place. "Oh hey guys," Lance smiled the five BSB, as Joey tired to recapture his attention, buy sucking on his neck.

"Joey, man disengage from the boyfriend and say hello," Chris laughed at his friend.

"Hey man it's okay, we have our own," Howie smiled, nodding back at Kevin who was in the process of getting Nick back for his teasing him in the conference room. His lips were attached to his neck, while he not so subtlety caressed his chest.

"We see that." Lance laughed, pushing Joey away slightly, "What you do that for?" he asked, a little hurt.

"Joey we are not alone."

"The guys have all seen it before."

"Not them, them," Lance turned his head so that he could see the BSB. Joey face went redder than his hair. "Uh.. Hi guys."

"Hi Joey," AJ laughed, "I like the hair, who did it for you?"

"Why?"

"I might do it."

"No you aren't, blue, pink, fuchsia I can handle, but not fire engine red, sorry I love you but not that much, I'd like to sleep at night." Brian shot at him, they all laughed, "Sorry Joey no offence."

"None taken, Lance responded the same way." Joey chuckled, his laugh bringing Kevin's eyes off and away from Nicks, their attention, drawn to the five new guys in their presence.

"Hello Kevin, I see you got what you wanted." Lance smiled at him, it was friendly smile.

"You told him about me?" Nick asked.

"When we broke up." Kevin replied.

"He broke it off with me, as he wanted you."

"He did. What else did he tell you?" Nick asked leaning in towards his lovers ex.

"Nothing I told him nothing."

"Call me we'll talk." Lance replied

"Joey, he called you name out.."

"Stop right there. Don't say another word, or I'll tell Nick about your special picture.."

"Okay, gross out factor went right off the meter." Justin stopped them; he didn't need to hear about this.

"Guy's AJ and I are having a barbeque. Why don't you join us?"

"That would be great." Lance replied, looking at the rest of the guys, they all nodded, except JC, as he seemed to have disappeared.

"Guy's where is Josh?" Lance asked.

"He was just here. Howie did he tell you where he went?" Justin asked.

"No. He didn't even say hi." he replied, Justin looked shocked, they were good friends, it wasn't like Josh to not talk to Howie like that.

"I'll go find him, see you guys latter." Justin said, waving goodbye as he headed down the hall. He hoped that Josh was in the studio, they were supposed to record a new song for the album, it was not strings attached, but the way things were going with the label, things were not looking up. He opened the door, to hear JC playing the piano.

"Hey Josh."

"J I did a bad thing."

"What?"

"I'm sleeping with Dakota."

"WHAT!"

"Don't yell."

"Josh u are sleeping with Dakota, your friends girlfriend."

"Yeah, and last time we didn't use anything."

"Is she?"

"We don't know."

"You didn't talk to Howie."

"Because of this."

"We were invited to Bri and AJ's"

"I can't go."

"You have to."

"I can't look him in the eye."

"Josh, you have to. They will be more suspicious if you don't"

"Justin. I love her, but I also love Howie."

"It sucks being bi huh?"

"Yeah. I think that I'm sleeping with her because I can't have him."

"Josh, you have to tell him."

"What, that I'm fucking his girlfriend."

"Well I wouldn't put it that way."

"How would you put it?"

"Tell him the truth, all of it, after you let Dakota now that you are going to tell him."

"Thanks Justin, I'll think about it."

"You are coming tomorrow?"

"I think so. I'll call you after I talk to Dakota." Justin smiled at him, he hoped that Josh would tell Howie, then at least they could deal with it before the tour.

"Hey J, did you find him?" Joey's voice broke into his thoughts.

"Yeah, he's fine, just had an idea for a song."

"Cool, so he's coming with?"

"Yeah Joey he is." ***************************************

Brian opened a bottle of beer and sat in AJ's lap, they were surrounded by friends, it was nice to have them around. He was hoping that he would sleep like the dead, he didn't want to have another nightmare, and wake AJ, he had been lucky the past few nights. He really did need his sleep, especially with the guys coming over tomorrow, they had postponed their barbeque so that they could come, sort of a pre kick off party for the tour.

"Brian you comfy?"

"Yeah Kev I am, is Nick?"

"Ask him."

"I would but he's sleeping." Brian pointed to his face, as it was cuddled to his cousin's chest, he hadn't even noticed as he was talking to Howie.

"We should probably go." Kevin said standing cuddling him close so as to not wake him.

"Bye." AJ smiled at them, "Me to." Howie waved goodbye.

"Ready for bed?"

"Yeah." They headed off to bed, knowing that the last one out would lock the doors and set the alarm.

AJ pulled him into his arms, and cuddled him; they were lying on the bed, snuggled under the covers. AJ wanted him so bad, but he knew that he was upset, and making love was never that important to him, if his lover was uncomfortable.

"You want to have sex," Brian whispered,

"NO, I want to hold you."

'Alex, if you want to make love tell me."

"Brian I don't want to pressure you. I Love laying beside you holding you in my arms, and sleeping."

"But you want more?"

"Sometimes."

"Then make love with me." Brian rolled over to lie on his back, offering himself to his lover.

"No."

"You don't want me."

"Brian I just told you that I want you, but if you don't want to make love then we won't I will wait until you are ready."

'Alex. I love you, and I want to show you that."

"Holding me, telling me you love me with your eyes and actions is all that I'll ever need to know that you love me." Alex tried to convince his lover.

"I knew that you wouldn't want me after I told you."

"Brian you are being irrational, I want you," he grabbed his lovers hand and placed it on his throbbing cock, "this is how much you effect me."

"So why won't you make love to me?"

"Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares?" AJ countered.

"What? How did you find out, did Nick tell you?"

"No, I overheard. Brian Thomas Littrell I love you, it hurt that you couldn't tell me."

"I don't want you to worry or treat me differently. Like you are now."

'Brian I'm sorry I just don't want to hurt you."

"You could never hurt me." Brian smiled at him, "especially when you are making love with me." Brian pulled him into a kiss, showing him with his actions that he wanted to be made love to, he wanted to be held.

"Can you let me hold you, until I'm ready?" AJ asked, shyly.

"Until you're ready?"

"Brian I'm scared, I need to feel secure in the knowledge that I won't hurt you, even if by accident."

"I can understand that. I can still hold you right."

"Yes." AJ cuddled closer to him. They held each other listening one another's breath.


Kevin wrapped his arms around the sleeping blond in his, their bed; he was so adorable when he was sleeping.

"Are you going to watch me all night, or make love to me?" Nick asked flipping over to look him in the eye.

"Nick, are you happy here with me?"

"Yes. I love you, this is where I want to be" Nick kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into closer contact with him, his naked skin pressed to Kevin's silk clad body.

"I want you" Nick whispered, kneading his ass, in his hands, slipping inside his pants so he could feel his skin under his hands.

"Nick slow down"

"God Kevin I want you."

"I want you too, but slowly, gently. I want to cherish you." Kevin held him closer. He kissed him gently, reverently; Nick was awed by the love in his simple touch. He wanted to be held by him, loved by him, like a cherished being.

"Kevin, kiss me." Nick pleaded, he wanted to feel all the passion of his lover, he wanted to know that he was desired as well as cherished. Kevin pressed his lips to Nick's seeking entrance to his mouth. Their tongues dueling, wrapping around each other, Nick moaned deep into Kevin's mouth, pressing closer to him.

"Too many clothes." Nick pushed and pulled at Kevin's black silk pants, wanting to be closer to him as well, Kevin stood and quickly shed his pants and boxers, before sliding under the covers to be with his boyfriend. "Nick I love you." He said pulling him over on top of him. Nick smiled down at him, letting his hair fall around them, "I love you." Nick kissed his forehead, then his nose and cheeks, finally his mouth. Putting all his love into the kiss, he rolled over so that Kevin was half on him and half on the bed. Telling him with his eyes to take him to a level that he had never experienced in his young life.

Kevin kissed his way down the young man's body, paying homage to his nipples, licking and sucking them until they were hard nubs on his smooth, hard chest. "Ohhhh Kevin, " Nick arched under his ministrations. He wanted to feel his, lover in his hand; he reached between them and grabbed his lover's hardness in his hand, gently stroking him. "Nick stop." Kevin whispered, pulling away from him, he wanted this to last, and Nick touching him was not accomplishing that. "Kevin I need to touch you." Nick replied, reaching for him, pulling him back to his body, pulling him in between his legs, settling his weight on him so that they were both comfortable.

"Nick?"

"Take me, make me yours." Nick pulled him to his entrance, showing him that he was ready, that he wanted this.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Nick kissed him, arching closer to him, waiting for him to make them one. Kevin pressed slowly against him, he slipped inside the young blond under him, it felt like coming home. "Ohh Nick you feel soo good." Kevin moaned, kissing him deeply, as he pressed more and more of himself into him. Finally all of his hardness was inside Nick. "Kevin I'm fine, please." he pleaded, arching under him even more bringing his prostate into contact with the hardness filling him. Together they found their rhythm, Kevin's hand wrapped around Nick's erection, bringing him closer and closer to release, yet keeping him back. When he felt his orgasm coming, Kevin's sped up his movements on Nick. Together they found release in each other. Collapsing in his arms, Kevin fell into a deep sleep, on his boyfriend, still apart of him, Nick held him.


Across town that night in a house that Kevin knew well, Lance was holding his boyfriend, they were sleeping in each other's arms. Joey cuddled to his boyfriend and protector. Lance had saved him, and made him believe in love again. They were not sleeping together in the since that they were intimate, they weren't. Lance loved him anyway and never pressured to have more. Joey felt safe with him, and Lance loved making him feel safe.

The end for now....

Raven

Comments welcome.... enjoyed in fact..

purpleraven81@hotmail.com

Next: Chapter 6


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