Led into Shadow

By Jen Carob

Published on Jul 5, 2010

Lesbian

Chapter 3

As horrifying and bewildering at this incident was, I came to be strangely glad of it. For it's coming heralded the end of my other less graphic but more constant nightmares. I came to regard it as some kind of odd fever that passed over me, a strange rite of puberty and imagined that such things were a common enough secret amongst girls my age.

Life assumed a pleasant enough routine for us, although many about us were not so lucky. The cooper's daughter was taken by a wasting illness, as was our coachman's pretty young wife. Most miserable of all was a string of grisly murders that occurred, including several young boys and girls found dreadfully mutilated, as was the local magistrate, whose pitiful disemboweled corpse was found in the road.

I paid little heed to most of this, and the ever-lovely Mademoiselle Courtald indulged me by trying to shield us from much of the worst news. I got most of the local gossip from my step-mother, to whom I had grown a strength of attachment and fondness greater than I had thought I would. She in return provided an abundance of affection to both of us girls, and seemed to have developed a warm friendship with Mademoiselle Courtald as well.

I remember well one sunny afternoon some year and a half after my nightmares stopped, when all four of us took the trap down to the river. There was a small eyot where willow trees grew, and the river on the near side was shallow enough to afford access. The coachman had driven us, and rolling up his breeches he carried Severine and then myself through the shallows on his back. Step-mother had ridden her own splendid black mare, and Mademoiselle Courtald climbed onto it with her to splash across to the island. We spent a delightful afternoon there, wading in the river and exploring the little island.

"Mama, come pick some flowers with us", I entreated her, dragging at her hand. She sat bonnet-less under a large tree, where she had been since we arrived.

"No, my dear, this warm afternoon has quite sapped my energies, why don't you and Severine go on without me". She smiled her lovely smile at me and squeezed my hand. I could see she was right, the sun had caused her to wilt visibly since setting out. Mademoiselle seemed equally given to lethargy today, and lay with her head in step-mother's lap.

"The ride home is tiring," she said, "and if I am to make it back to the house at all I shall need to have a little more wine here with Mademoiselle before we return. We had opened a bottle from our cellars on arriving, and the older women had just opened the second for themselves.

"But find me a pretty bouquet my darlings", and my sister and I happily bustled off to do her bidding.

We spent some time gathering meadow flowers from the sunny side of the eyot, and had both managed an arrangement that we thought would please our step-mother, idly chatting while we did. The topic of our governess had come up, and I was surprised to here Severine confide:

"She sleepwalks, you know!"

"Does she? How do you know?"

"I saw her", she said, eyes twinkling.

"You liar", I scoffed.

"It's true, I saw her just the other night. I was woken by the sound of a horse in the courtyard, and got out of bed to see."

I had been moved down the hall to my own room by this age, and would not have known if she was out of bed or not, so I urged her to continue.

"I couldn't see the horse or rider, but while at the window I heard Mademoiselle's door open and close. As silently as possible, I peeked out of my own door and that's when I saw her walking down the hall towards the stairs in her night gown and bare feet."

"Where was she going?" I asked

"I don't know," Severine shook her head, the sunlight glinting off her long golden tresses. "But she didn't come back, so I went back to bed and fell asleep. Do you think we should ask her about it?"

"No," I replied, "she might feel embarrassed."

"I suppose so." My sister took my words at face value, but in reality I was very curious to find out for myself where our governess went in the dark of the night, and didn't fancy my little sister tagging along if I was to follow her.

Satisfied with our flower picking I told Severine I was going back, while she elected to stay and pick a few more. And perhaps just as well, for I beheld the most unexpected thing on my return. Although not making any great attempt at stealth, I approached step-mother and Mademoiselle from behind a concealing wall of willow boughs, coming upon them unnoticed. I expected to find them sitting together under the tree as they were when I left, and in a way I did. But Mademoiselle's head was no longer in mama's lap, but instead her face was pressed close to my step-mother's, and their lips were locked in a passionate kiss.

Shocked, I stared for some time from my place of concealment and watched the two beautiful women in this most unconventional embrace. Step mother had Mademoiselle pulled closely to her, and she held her with one hand to her waist, and another holding her cheek. Mademoiselle clasped her arms tightly around mama's body, and moved rhythmically as if trying to press herself closer. Their lips were locked together and their tongues played sensually on each other. I could see the wet pink of the tongues sliding and exploring together, and thought how luscious it must be to play in the mouth of another so.

I must admit, I found the sight exceptionally arousing, which shocked me. Something about the way the two women sensuously enjoyed each other's mouths was intensely erotic, and I dithered for a long while before coming to my senses. Only the thought of explaining the scene, and my voyeurism, to Severine finally encouraged me to retreat a little, then approach more noisily. As I did I saw step-mother's dark eyes flutter open in mid-kiss and look smilingly in my direction. She broke off the kissing, and the two women arranged themselves into a more decorous scene for my arrival. By the time I had emerged from behind the drooping willow branches there was no sign of what they had been up to, and the prompt return of Severine gave me cover to hide my obvious fluster.

My sister led us in presenting our bouquets to our step-mother, and she received them gaily, praising us both and kissing us on the cheek. Soon after, we waved the coachman back out to the eyot, and duly made off for home.

Mademoiselle sat opposite me in the trap, and although I could not meet her eye the whole way, my eyes kept straying to her lips and mouth. I imagined what it would feel like to touch those lips with mine, and part them with my tongue to meet her own within. She sat primly upon her seat, but as I watched her I thought of the secret I knew, and of the daring, provocative and lustful woman I knew lay beneath. I felt sure that whatever she could be secretly leaving her bed for must be enticing indeed.

Next: Chapter 4


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