Missing Piece of a Piano

By Sean Roberts

Published on Jan 29, 2005

Bisexual

The Missing Piece of a Piano By: Sean Roberts

Author's Note: Please send all feedback to seanr_13@yahoo.ca

Bar 6

He steps from her snow covered porch into the foyer of her house. Faye's mother, who is slightly taller than Faye, had opened the door for him. He was ready to shake her hand the moment he saw her but she immediately insisted he come inside out of the cold. When the door had been shut their hands meet.

"Call me Ruth," says Faye's mother. "Faye will be down in a--"

"Daniel!" She comes quickly down the stairs, dressed casually in jeans and a white shirt. He can see the darkly tanned skin of her neck and face. He has never noticed this colour before, but it stands out more prominently because of the white of her shirt.

He meets Faye's father, who then leaves to call his son. They sit in the family room, sipping soda, when he walks into the room. Daniel nearly drops his drink when he sees a set of bright, blue eyes and long, blonde hair. The hair is not as long as Keith's was, but is in need of a cut. The boy's appearance make Daniel say "Keith!" in a loud whisper.

Both the boy and his father stare at Daniel until Mr. Evans says, "this is Seth."

"Sorry Seth. You remind me of someone." They shake hands and they all stand to go into the dining room. Seth is as tall as Daniel though he is only fifteen. But he does not look older than his age. There is no shaving stubble on his face; the look of innocence shines from his eyes. Daniel doesn't think of him as younger, but Seth is still just a boy.

They had agreed to meet each other's parents during the Christmas holidays. He met hers on Thursday and she is invited to his place Friday. It is a slightly more formal dinner than the lunch Faye's parents had planned. Both sets of parents planned their meals to welcome their child's new friend into their homes.

Faye is as nervous as Daniel was the previous day, though she barely shows it. Daniel stays close to her and makes sure to keep the conversation going through the awkward silences that pass between short bursts of conversation and sips of soda.

They do not eat because they are expecting Mark home from university that day. He was supposed to arrive an hour earlier, but because of the snowy weather he is late. Finally they hear the front door open.

Mr. Thompson stands to go to the front and greet his son but Mark has already found them. He still wears his jacket and gloves, though his luggage has been left near the front and his feet are covered only in socks.

"You didn't tell me you adopted another kid!" Mark says when he walks into the room. "When you're away at university you miss everything!" Daniel is relieved. He is glad that Mark has come finally because he knows that he can rely on his brother to keep the conversation going, to keep everybody's moods light. Almost as soon as they begin dinner Mark asks where they met.

"We have music together actually," Faye replies.

"You're taking music!" Mark responds. "Back to the--"

"Piano!" Daniel interrupts loudly. "I'm playing the piano now."

"And he's very good," Faye says before placing a large piece of lasagne in her mouth.

"You never told us you were doing music again," says Mrs. Thompson. Faye looks up uncomfortably. She turns to look at Daniel, but he stares at his plate.

"So you were saying," Mark interrupts. "You met in class, then what?"

"We're both doing the piano," Daniel says quickly. "So we met. That's it." Another silence falls over the table before Mark once gain breaks it.

"Could you play us something after dinner?"

"She's our guest Mark," says Mr. Thompson. "She doesn't have to--"

"I was talking to Daniel," Mark says, staring fixedly at his brother who does not look up from his plate.

"I don't think so," Daniel says. "Mom this lasagne is really good."

"It is good," Faye adds.

"Thank you," says Mrs. Thompson.

"Daniel," Mark says, seemingly oblivious to Daniel's efforts to change the subject. "If you're playing again, why not the violin?"

"You play the violin?" Faye says quickly, turning to Daniel. Before he looks up she has a napkin against her lips to wipe off a small bit of sauce.

"No," Daniel says, staring at his brother. "I tried it once, I was never very good." Daniel looks back at his plate.

"What are you talking about? He was amazing Faye," Mark says. "You mean he never told you?"

"Faye," Daniel interrupts, turning to his left. "Mark doesn't know the difference between music and some inexperienced kid trying to play something. So to him I probably did play really well."

"Oh," she says, almost in a whisper. They are all glad for the food in front of them. It gives them something to do when they do not want to look at each other. The table again falls silent, and this tie Daniel does not want his brother to break it.

"To everybody you played really well," Mark says.

"How did your exams go Mark?" Mr. Thompson asks his son with an unflinching voice.

"What the fuck is your problem? Can you just leave this alone?" Daniel says heatedly, staring directly at his brother.

"No I can't. You play really well, and I think you should start again."

"Mark," says Mr. Thompson. "I don't think that this is the right time to discuss it." Mrs. Thompson asks Faye if she would like some more soda while Daniel gives his rebuttal.

"I think that you should go fuck yourself." Daniel stands. "Let's go Faye," he says. She looks around at everybody else on the table. They do not give her any hint about what she should do. Daniel does not wait for her to stand. He walks away from the dining room knowing that she will follow. He begins to put on his shoes when he hears her behind him. He does not say anything until they go outside.

"I'm sorry Faye," he says. "I'm really sorry about that. I don't know why Mark's being such a dick. He's not usually like this."

"Daniel you're crying," she says. He was not aware of this until just now, and he turns away to wipe his eyes. "What is this all about?" She touches his arm. She wants to hug him, to comfort him, but she does not because she wants him to be able to speak to her.

"I'm sorry about dinner," he says. I'll make it up to you, I promise." She knows by his tone that he will say nothing more to her. He waits for her to leave before climbing into his own car.

Three hours later he is in a club in the city. He barely remembers the drive he just spent in a daze. He has not bothered to remove his jacket which he now regrets as he pushes his way through the crowd. At the bar he orders a shot of something and drains it quickly. He then repeats this before a familiar voice yells his name into his ears.

"Daniel! What are you doing here?" yells Steve Miller.

"Needed to get away," Daniel yells back, over the sound of the music. Daniel is led back to the group, to the friends who helped him to forget after Keith died. He lights a cigarette and greets all of the familiar faces. He misses them as much as they do him. He has a few more drinks, and a couple more cigarettes, before he feels a hand on his shoulder. He smiles when he turns around, but it disappears immediately. Not because he does not want to see her but because she is the last person he expected to run into at such a place.

"Ashley," he says. She does not hear him for the music. She only sees his mouth moving in the shape of her name. Suddenly she throws her arms around him. Daniel's friends look uncomfortable; they do not know who this person is. Ashley takes a quick, disapproving glance at them. "What are you doing here?" Daniel yells above the music, surprised to see her at the club he knows his friends are used to.

"What are you doing here?" she replies.

"I--I ..."

"Let's get out of here," she says. He asks her to give him a moment. He tells his friends that it's important, that he can not get out of leaving. They are disappointed but he promises to keep in touch; not like the last time he left.

Ashley drives him to a nearby coffee shop. The sign outside is red with yellow letters. Because of it everything inside--the counters and the chairs and the tables--all appear red and yellow to him. She quickly orders coffee and they sit down across from each other. Neither of them has spoken very much.

"Daniel ..." she starts.

"I'm sorry Ashley." She moves some of her straight, shoulder length brown hair backwards. It does not bother her but she needs something more to do with her hands than hold a cup. "I would have told you I was coming but I decided at the last minute. I literally decided about three hours ago and drove down."

"It's okay Daniel," she replies. "The important thing is that you're here. Is everything okay?"

"No. Mark's being a dick. But other than that everything's fine. How are you?"

"Can't complain I guess. My parents miss you too you know. Before you moved you promised you'd come back every weekend. We never really expected that, of course," she says, forcing a small laugh. "But more often than this."

"I've missed you too."

"Listen, you're still off for a bit, you'll come home right?"

"Of course. But I don't think I can stay past tomorrow."

"That's okay," she says. They finish their coffee in silence. Ashley's parents are asleep when they arrive home. He knows already where the guest room is and he shuts the door, promising to see her in the morning. He removes his shirt and falls asleep.

The clock beside his bed says it's two in the morning. The room is dark but he can make out her outline. Her silhouette looks baggy--the sweats she wears to bed do not show her true figure. She sits in a chair beside his bed, watching his face until he opens his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," she says.

"Of course you couldn't," Daniel replies. "I remind you of him too much. I can't think about anything else when I'm here." He swallows and she stays silent.

"What I wouldn't give to hear that piano again," she replies. "He used to bug me so much with it. He'd play at the worst times, when I was studying or on the phone or something. He would do it extra loudly when I was watching television. Once, when he was on the phone with you, I went and started banging down on the keys to make noise to bother him. He told me that you said to tell me that the elephant who died for the piano is turning over in his grave." Daniel knows from her voice that she is smiling; he knows from the story that she has tears in her eyes.

"I don't remember saying that," Daniel says.

"Well, I figured he made it up."

She brings him a glass of water and he takes a sip. He asks her to switch off the light. It is better when he can not see the piano in front of him. The Chopin starts. Suddenly he knows the whole thing--the right hand, the left hand, and the pedals--which all come together to form the piece. "You remember that piece right?" Daniel says after pressing the final note. "His favourite one?"

"No," Ashley says. "I've never heard it before." The light comes on and Daniel sees Mr. and Mrs. Lewis, wearing dressing gowns, standing in the doorway. Mrs. Lewis embraces Daniel like a son; Mr. Lewis asks him how he's doing in a fatherly manner. The family sits down.

Daniel makes small talk with them, his mind racing. No. I've never heard it before. He looks at her repeatedly, trying to figure out if she actually said that. Thinking about it allows him to finally remember something about the piece.

Mr. Lewis gets up to make some coffee; Mrs. Lewis follows him. Daniel stares at Ashley for a moment. Then he stands and goes over to the piano. She says nothing while he plays the piece through again. When he is finished he turns to her, tears in his eyes. "I'm forgetting him," Daniel says. "I'm forgetting what he looks like; how he used to play. But I miss him more than ever." Ashley stands and embraces him. He hugs her, unable to stop crying into her shoulder. The sobbing she has started is even more comforting than her touch.

"I'm sorry Daniel," Mark says when he sees his brother.

"Me too," Daniel says. He has a sudden urge to hug his brother but he does not. Besides they are sitting on the couch, the television in front of them glowing and speaking.

"I-I really thought she knew. I mean you guys are pretty serious."

"Says who?"

"Oh come on. The way she was looking at you?"

"Yeah, sure," Daniel says, without the slightest inclination of what his brother is trying to say. He has never regarded their relationship as serious. The word bounces around in his head when he calls her the following day to invite her for dinner a second time.

She refuses at first but eventually agrees. She arrives at his house, an apple pie in her hands. The tension is much higher than before, the silences between bouts of conversation longer. Faye stares across the table towards Mark, who looks back at her. Daniel does not know what to say to anybody and he eats quietly, watching his plate. Mark, finally, cracks a joke, and some of the tension lifts from the meal. When she is ready to leave he walks her outside to her car.

"I want you to give my brother violin lessons," she says suddenly.

"What?"

"My brother. He wants to learn the violin, and you're the only one who can teach him. Even if you only know the basics, it's a start. Please Daniel." She takes his hand into hers. "We'll pay you whatever you want. And you can make up the schedule. You can do as little as half an hour a week, or even every two weeks ..."

"It isn't about the money Faye. Or the time. I ... it's just--fine." She is staring into his eyes and he cannot say no. She leans into him but he allows her to kiss only his cheek. He does not know why he won't let her penetrate more than that.

She drives away and he touches his cheek; his skin drying as he stands in the cold. He remembers her eyes and the feel of her lips on his cheek. He wonders how a girl ever managed to have such an effect on him.

Next: Chapter 7


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