Question of Faith

By Nathaniel C.

Published on Dec 20, 1999

Gay

Finally here it is, part 13. It's an emotional part so keep some kleenex ready..... I would like to thank Toby, Trace and Tim. You all know why. All the people that gave me feedback. Nifty for hosting the stories You all know the disclaimer by now. Nathaniel. Question of Faith part 13 *********** Kevin didn't wait for the sickening thud of a body hitting the ground. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could. He slipped a few times but didn't seem to notice the pain. He threw the door open and ran towards the reception. 'Call an ambulance, please.' The clerk looked at him with a blank expression. 'Don't you speak English? Someone fell of the roof.' The clerk didn't respond. Kevin reached over the desk and grabbed the man by his tie. 'If I don't see an ambulance here within 5 minutes I'll personally rip off all your limbs.' Hissed Kevin. He released the man and ran outside. He silently prayed for Nick to be alive. He didn't see anything when he arrived at the back of the hotel. Kevin shook his head. He saw Nick fall. Suddenly a woman screamed at the poolside. Kevin turned around and ran to the pool. 'Oh my god.' He yelled. Nick was lying in the pool. The water was slowing turning red around the body of the blonde. Kevin jumped in the pool. The water was cold. Kevin turned him around very carefully and his stomach turned around. Kevin took of his shirt and tried to wipe away the blood on Nick's face. He didn't dare to pull him out of the pool. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to remain calm. *********** 'What about this one?' Julia held another dress in front of her body. 'Nah.' Billie shook her head. 'Even a nun shows more skin than that dress.' 'What about this one?' Julia grabbed another dress. 'Julia, this is a hotel shop. They sell old and stuffy clothes. We are close to London. All we have to do is order a limo and go to Bond Street. We can get some fine clothes there.' Julia sighed. 'I want to look good. It's the first time I'll attend a ceremony like the awards and I'm Nick Carter's date.' Billie started laughing. 'It doesn't matter what you wear that night. The fans won't like it anyway.' Julia put the dress back and walked to the lobby. 'Oh look a helicopter.' Julia walked to the door. 'God, you have a serious obsession with flying objects.' Billie started laughing and followed her. 'It's a trauma helicopter.' Julia turned pale. 'Do you think something has happened?' Billie placed a hand on her arm. 'Most of the guests are over 70 here. Maybe one of them had a heart attack.' Julia looked outside again. Two paramedics pushed a gurney over the terrace. The third one was sitting on it, giving the person strapped on the gurney CPR. Julia was about to turn her head when a slight wind started to blow and a lock of blond hair became visible underneath the bandages. Julia froze. 'Nick.' She whispered. A second later she ran to the door. 'Nick!' She screamed. The porter stopped her. 'I'm sorry ma'am. No one is allowed outside at the moment.' Julia looked at him. 'I need to go outside.' Billie grabbed her arm. 'Come on Julia. You don't know if that is Nick.' Julia's eyes blazed with fire. 'I know. Believe me I know.' She turned her gaze back to the helicopter. The doors closed and it took off. Julia placed her hand on the cold glass. 'What happened Nick?' Billie gently pulled her away. 'Where was Nick the last you saw him?' Julia didn't look at the younger woman. 'He was on the roof with Kevin.' She heard Billie gasp. 'Whose idea was that?' 'Brian and I wanted them to get together again.' Julia's head jerked up. 'I need to find Brian.' Julia ran from the lobby. Luckily for her she ran into Brian in the hallway. 'Brian!' He looked at her with tear-filled eyes. 'You know?' He nodded. 'Jane came down and I saw her walking. She rambled on about Nick jumping of the roof.' 'What is Jane doing here?' Brian ran a hand through his hair. 'She was here to surprise Nick. Why tonight? Damn why is everything going wrong.' 'We should warn the other. We have to go to the hospital.' Brian shrugged. 'I already told AJ and Howie. Jane is getting Aaron.' Julia let out a single sob. 'She had Aaron with her?' Brian nodded. 'I told AJ to come to the lobby. We'll go together.' Brian wrapped an arm around Julia's shoulder. 'I'm praying in my head as we speak. He will be okay. I bet that when we get there he is sitting there smiling like nothing happened.' Julia sighed. She wanted to believe that. 'I saw him Brian. He needed CPR.' Brian closed his eyes. 'He has to be okay. I will never forgive myself if he dies.' 'Me neither Brian. Me neither.' Slowly they walked back to the lobby. To their surprise all three bands had gathered there. Julia couldn't look at them. She hid her head in the crock of Brian's neck. 'Um... Oh...'Stuttered Brian. 'I asked them down here B. They wanted to come along.' Said AJ in a hoarse voice. It was obvious he had been crying. Julia heard a soft whimper beside her. She lifted her head and saw Jane. She was barely able to stand on her own legs. 'Brian?' He looked at her and saw Jane too. He walked to her. 'He is going to be fine, Jane.' Jane leaned heavily on his shoulder. 'He jumped. He saw me and jumped.' Brian looked at the others. He suddenly noticed Chris was carrying Aaron. The boy, still too small for his age, was sleeping. 'Are the limos here yet?' Chris nodded. 'Shall we go than?' They all walked through the lobby. A sad look on all their faces. They had no idea what to expect. Julia was the last to get in. 'Oh god.' She looked at Brian. 'Where is Kevin?' *********** 'Kevin?' Julia's voice echoed back in the dark. She was walking around the hotel. She only had to search the back of the hotel. She checked his room and the roof but she couldn't find Kevin anywhere. She turned the corner of the hotel and had full view of the swimming pool. The first thing she noticed was the paramedic standing at the edge of the pool. He was talking to someone. Julia walked closer. 'Come on. You need to get out of the water.' She heard the man say. Julia looked over his shoulder. Kevin had no shirt on and standing in the middle of the swimming pool. He was moving his hands in the water like he was looking for something. 'Kevin?' He didn't respond. He only shivered from the cold. 'Kevin, you need to get out of the water. It's freezing cold.' Julia stretched her hand. Kevin backed away. 'He has been doing this all the time.' Julia looked at the paramedic. 'Have you tried getting in the water?' The man blinked and looked at her. 'It's freezing. I'm not getting in.' Julia tried calling Kevin one more time. This time he turned his head. 'I lost Nick. He was here. Need to find him.' He titled his head to the side and looked at Julia. 'Nick was hurt. Need to take care of him.' 'He needs medical help.' 'God, tell me something I don't know.' Julia took off her sweater. 'I'm going into the water. Help me get him out.' She jumped in the water. The coldness immediately seeped through her body. She couldn't understand why Kevin was still in this water. 'Kevin?' She reached out with her hand. Kevin stared at her hand. 'Come on. Nick wants to see you. He is okay.' Julia bit her lip and waited for a response. Kevin lifted his hand out off the water. 'Is Nick okay?' His voice was soft and full of pain. Julia nodded. 'Come with me. I'll take you to see him.' Kevin placed his hand in hers. Julia shivered feeling the cold. She guided him to the edge of the pool. The paramedic pulled Kevin out and wrapped a blanket round his shoulders. Julia climbed out on her own and gratefully accepted the other blanket. 'Where are you taking him?' She asked with clattering teeth when she saw the paramedic trying to lead Kevin away. 'He needs to go to the hospital. He's been in that freezing water for a while. He may have pneumonia.' The man looked at her. 'Why don't you come along? It is good to have a familiar face around when he comes out of his shock.' Julia followed the man to the waiting ambulance. 'Do you know where they have taken Nick?' The man nodded. 'We're going there now.' Julia sighed with relief. The man closed the doors to the ambulance and they drove off. Kevin was sitting on the gurney. He was softly talking to himself. 'Is he going to be okay?' 'He has a shock. We just need to keep an eye on him. He'll snap out of it eventually.' Julia took Kevin's cold hand in hers. It was scary to see him like this. And it was scary not know anything about Nick. Was he still alive or did he die? Julia was lost in her own thoughts on the way to the hospital. **************** Julia stood in the door entrance. She looked at all the people gathered in the waiting room. Billie was sitting on J's lap. Her head was buried in his shoulder and she saw the small shoulders shake. Sean, Abs and Scott were sitting on the floor, softly talking to each other. Richie and Justin were sitting on the rows of chairs next to them. Justin had his arm wrapped around Richie's shoulders. Julia's gaze moved to the chairs where N sync were sitting. JC was holding Lexie. Chris and Joey tried really hard to look not affected at all. Lance was crying. The Backstreet boys were sitting on the far end of the room. AJ and Howie hugged each other. Brian did his best to comfort Jane. Aaron was sleeping on his lap. Julia pulled the blanket tighter around her. She was waiting for a pair of warm clothes. Suddenly Brian looked up and in her direction. His eyes grew big. 'Julia...' Everyone looked her way. 'You are wet. What happened?' Lexie rose to her feet and walked towards her. 'Come here.' She pulled Julia in a hug. She led Julia to a chair. 'Where is Kevin?' Brian kneeled in front of her. Julia couldn't look at him. 'He is here. He was still in the swimming pool. He said he couldn't find Nick.' Brian wiped away the single tear falling down her cheek. 'Shh, it's okay darling.' 'Is there any news on Nick?' Her question seemed to echo through the room. Lexie shook her head. 'No, there is no news.' Julia looked at her watch. 'They brought him in two hours ago. I didn't want to leave Kevin until the sedatives kicked in. I thought...' Julia wanted to say more but a doctor entered the room. 'Are you all here for Mr Carter?' Everyone nodded. Jane stood up. 'I'm his mother.' The doctor looked at her. 'Your son was brought in with some very serious injuries. It took us a while to stabilise him enough to check his injuries.' Jane nodded. 'His injuries are some minor bruises. But the things that concerned us the most are the fractures in his pelvic and his jaw.' The doctor looked around with a solemn look on his face but that look was a mere glimpse of the news they were about to get. He cleared his throat and the whispering died down. 'We have ran several tests on Mr. Carter and came to one conclusion.' The suspense was visible on all the faces. 'He is brain dead. There is nothing we can do. We suggest that you all say goodbye and let him die with dignity.' 'Nooooo.' Jane sank to the ground. Brian went with her 'Isn't there anything you can do?' Asked Justin in a small voice. The doctor shook his head. 'I'll give you all some time to say good bye.' *********** Five entered the room first. The five guys had no idea what to except. Nick was lying in a bed. Several machines were attached to his body. Bruises were appearing on his face and chest. Scott swallowed hard. They had no idea what to say. J was the first to step forward. He hesitated a second and than grabbed Nick's hand. 'Hey. I know we never really got to know each other. And if I could change the past I would try to get to know you.' J looked at the other band members. 'I think I speak for all of us when I say that we'll miss you Nick.' Richie nodded with tears in his eyes. 'Too young too soon.' He whispered. J placed Nick's hand on the bed. He walked to the door. Sean and Abs followed him. They had no clue what to say. Scott looked at the young man. 'Save a spot for us on the basketball bench in heaven.' His voice broke. Richie wrapped an arm around him. 'Come on. Let's give the other a chance to say good bye.' Scott nodded. They walked back to the waiting room. Jane and Brian had left to inform the rest of the Carter family. Chris and Joey rose to their feet. They smiled sympathetically and walked pasted Scott and Richie. JC and Lance followed them. ******** Billie, Julia and Lexie sat together. They had gone out to get some coffee for everyone. 'Do you think he is in pain?' Billie played with her empty coffee cup. Lexie shrugged. 'I don't know. Scott said he looked peaceful.' Lexie gently stroked Julia's arm. 'Are you feeling any better, sweetie?' Julia nodded. 'I'm warmer now I have some proper clothes.' Julia looked at the two women sitting across. 'I hope I can go to get Kevin soon.' 'They will let him say goodbye to him.' Julia bit her lip. 'What if he is still sedated?' 'I promise that they won't let him die before Kevin has seen him.' A shadow fell over them. They looked up. A young doctor stood in the entrance of the waiting room. 'I'm looking for a relative of Kevin Richardson.' 'Brian is not here at the moment.' 'I'm his cousin.' Said Julia in a soft voice. AJ and Howie looked in her direction. 'I'm Brian's cousin but that would make me Kevin's cousin too. He knows me.' The man nodded. 'Could you please come with me? I need you to sign some forms. We have to admit him overnight.' ********* The four men stood silently beside the bed. They held hands as one of them murmured a soft prayer. 'Amen.' Chris raised his head. 'I'm sorry Nick. Sorry for all the lame jokes. For all the nasty comments.' He looked at his fingernails. 'You were a good guy.' 'Same here.' Joey wished he could be more expressive but he had no idea what to say to someone who was dying. Lance finished his prayer and looked at Nick. The blonde's hair was pulled back. It gave him a creepy look. Apparently Nick had a fractured arm as an emergency cast was wrapped around it. 'If they would ask me whom I really admire I'd have to say you Nick. You successfully fought a disease. It took you months, blood, sweat and tears but you won. I know the break-up wasn't easy. But still you managed to make people happy.' Lance bent forward and whispered: 'keep a good eye on us. I know I'll be looking up for advice once in a while.' He quickly said another prayer and walked away from the bed. JC was the only one left. He stared at the machines for a while. 'Thank you.' JC wiped away a tear and walked to the others. He nodded and they left the room. Justin hesitated before he entered the room. He had hoped Richie be there with him. Justin shivered when he saw Nick. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to Nick. He cleared his throat. 'There are still many things I want to ask you. Things I hoped you could help me with.' Justin closed his eyes for a second. 'When did you know that you were ready? How do you know you love someone?' Justin fumbled with his sweater. 'I don't know what happened but I do know you don't deserve it. If anyone should be dying it should be me.' Justin rubbed his eyes with his palms. 'Can I tell you a secret?' He laughed. 'As if you can tell anyone. I was so jealous. I wanted what you had. Now I have someone to love and I can't love him.' Justin shook his head. 'You don't want to hear all of this.' Justin sighed. 'I'm going to make you a promise. 'I'll take good care of your friends. I'll keep your memory alive.' Justin touched Nick's hand. 'Just promise you won't forget us.' Justin stood up and ran from the room. ********* Howie and AJ were the only ones left to say goodbye besides Brian, Kevin, Julia and Jane. They supported each other. Emotions had drained them. AJ sat down on the chair beside the bed. He didn't want to say goodbye. If anyone of them should die it should be him. He had done all that god had ever forbidden and lived to tell the story. He had looked death in the eyes. And Nick. Innocent Nick. AJ started to sob. Howie placed a comfortable hand on his shoulder. 'He doesn't deserve to die.' Howie kneeled beside him. 'No one deserves to die. But the big guy up there needs him. Nick has to entertain the crowd there.' AJ nodded. 'I don't want to let him go.' Howie looked at the blonde. He looked so small in the bed. 'Keep him in your heart AJ. Than he'll never leave.' Again AJ nodded. Howie rose to his feet. He bent close to the blonde. 'As long as I'll life I'll take care of your family Nick. I'll help Aaron become the man you want him to be. I promise you that.' Howie kissed the cold forehead and murmured a short prayer. AJ followed Howie's example. A nurse softly entered the room. 'The immediate family would like to say goodbye now.' Howie nodded. 'We are done here.' AJ and Howie walked to the door. They turned around and looked at Nick. Silently they hoped for a miracle but the young man didn't move. *************** Justin sat with his back towards everyone. He didn't want them to see he was crying. He knew he had been very open in his jealousy over Nick and thought that when they saw him cry they might think he had more feelings for him. He had certain feelings for Nick but more as a friend than anything else. Justin felt someone sitting next to him. He hoped it was Julia or Billie. A hand was placed on his shoulder. Justin looked up. To his surprise JC was sitting next to him. 'You shouldn't be grieving alone.' Justin shrugged. Richie was too busy with Scott. The other friend he had was lying in a hospital bed. 'I have no one...' JC shook his head. 'It's okay to show that you are hurting.' Justin started to twirl his ring. 'There was so much I wanted to ask him.' JC barely heard him speak. 'We are all left with questions that will never be answered.' 'I rambled when I said goodbye. Do you think he'll hate me now?' JC shook his head. 'All I did was thank him.' 'For what?' 'For being Nick. I thanked him for being the person that he was.' Justin scooted a little closer to JC. 'I wish it was me. I should have been the one dying. Not Nick. He had his whole life ahead of him.' 'Don't say that.' JC's eyes filled with tears. 'Please.' Justin wrapped his arms around JC. 'Can I cry? You know. I'm with Richie. Am I allowed to cry over Nick?' JC nodded. 'You are allowed to cry over a good friend.'

Lexie looked at the two men. She knew they weren't just crying over Nick but also over the lost months in their friendship. ********** The room was too small for all the people inside. Kevin and Julia still hadn't showed up. Brian and Jane sat on each side of the bed. Aaron sat on the bed. The rest had gathered around the bed. The doctor was preparing some things. In a few minutes they would pull the plug and Nick would no longer be among them. They all hoped Kevin and Julia would make it on time. A sigh of relief was heard when the door opened and Julia pushed a wheelchair inside. It was obvious that Kevin was still being drugged. 'It took some persuasion but they finally let him go.' Scott and Abs made some room and Julia placed the wheelchair beside Brian. He looked at his cousin. Kevin stared dead ahead. 'Kevin?' Brian softly whispered in his ear. 'I asked Nick to take care of grandpa. I know he will.' Kevin blinked. Brian squeezed his shoulder. He felt sorry. Kevin was the only one that had no chance to say goodbye. The doctor cleared his throat. 'We are ready.' Jane looked at him. 'Go ahead doctor.' 'We'll stop the machines keeping Nick alive in a second. His heart will continue to beat for a while.' No one moved. The doctor nodded to the nurse and she pushed several buttons. The machines stopped beeping. Everyone stared at the heart monitor. It continued to show a steady beat. Nothing happened. The doctor stared at his watch. Normally a patient would die within a few minutes. Nickolas Carter had planned other wise. 'Oh my god.' Everyone stared at Billie. She was standing at the head of the bed. 'He moved.' 'Billie, hon, please, we have to let him go.' J took her hand. 'No, I'm serious.' Billie bent forward. 'Nick, I saw you move your eyebrow. Do it again.' Everyone in the room stared intensely at Nick's face. Slowly but surely he raised his right eyebrow. Jane gasped. 'How can he move?' Billie ran her fingers through his hair. 'Good Nick.' Suddenly a machine started beeping. 'What's that?' The doctor's mouth fell open. 'I think I know why he didn't show any brain activity. This young lady just activated the machine.' Jane took Nick's hand in hers. 'Welcome back darling.' 'Why is he sweating?' Little beads of sweat started to show on Nick's forehead. His heartbeat was rapidly increasing. 'We have to get him in theatre now.' The nurse started to clear the room. 'Why is he sweating?' Asked Lexie again. 'He is in a lot of pain. We haven't treated his injuries yet.' The doctor pushed the bed out of the room. 'As soon as he is back on the ward we'll contact you.' Everyone was stunned. Nick didn't die. Again Nick didn't do what people expected him to do. ******** That was the end. Well not of the story but of this installment. Hopefully I'll have some time to write during the holidays...... Feedback can be send to nathanielstories@hotmail.com

Next: Chapter 14


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