Someone Like You

THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN TWO MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU GO ELSE WHERE. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BE READING IT YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH, SOJUST GO AWAY. OTHERWISE ENJOY IT. JWS

OK, Fellows, I have corrected my big boo boos and tightened up the ending. Thanks, Iain, for the suggetion. I think I got it right this time. Chapter(new) follows. JWS

SOMEONE LIKE YOU (REDUX)

by J.W. SMITH

Chapter 1

I closed the door behind the last moving man, locked it, leaned against it and gazed around the empty room. Most of six wonderful years with Ted had been lived here and three terribly lonely ones since his death. Well, it was time to put it all behind me and start over again. Kind of. It felt like I was just continuing my numb celibate life in a different location.

There was a plaintive cry from the cat carrier sitting on the kitchen counter with the few items I was carrying with me in my car. I went in and stuck my finger through the wires and caressed her."I know, Saturn. It will all be over soon. You're going to love our new home. There's a big back yard just for you."

She chirruped sadly. I got the feeling she was rather doubtful about it, too. I did a last walkthrough checking for anything that might have been over looked. I refused to think about all the wonderful times that we had spent in this place. I had done that for three long years, now it was time to move on and start a new life.

When I didn't come up with anything, I loaded the two boxes, one containing Ted's ashes, into the back seat of my car. I returned to the kitchen for the last time and picked up Saturn's carrier and my brief case, and locked the door behind me. I dropped my case on the floorboard and set her on the seat and belted her in. I eased behind the wheel and kind of collapsed against it.

'Come on, fellow, you can do this. You've already gotten this far.' I thought to myself, but I knew the hardest part was yet to come.

I backed out of the garage and stepped out of the car with the garage door gizmo. I pushed the button and tossed it under the closing door where the new owners could find it. Getting back into the car I wheeled on to Sherman Way and headed for the 405. I was a bit glad to be leaving the San Fernando Valley. This was an end to an era.

Forty-five minutes later, I turned off the 210 onto Fair Oaks Avenue, headed north to Altadena and our new home. The big old house sat half a block back from the street. I pulled into the long driveway, drove up to the garage, and just sat there for a few moments, steeling myself for the next step. Moving in.

"I can do this. Just don't think; go with the flow." I said aloud to myself. It had become my mantra over the last three years. The cat meowed plaintively. I stuck a finger though the carrier and rubbed her head. "Just a couple more hours, Saturn. I promise you're going to love your new home."

I got out of the car, draped my arms over the car door and looked at the house. It was a two story 1920s Spanish Revival. It was a perfectly proportioned house. Ted had loved the symmetry. I thought a moment about how lonely it was going to be here, bouncing off the walls by myself. Ted had wanted this house so much. I loved the old place, too. It was just so big.

Ted and I had put a down payment and signed all the papers to this big old house in Altadena just before the accident. We were preparing to move when he was killed. Everything went on hold until all the legal matters were straightened out. We had procrastinated doing all the wills and other documents we have to have in order to protect ourselves from the straight legal system.

Being that he had no siblings and both parents were dead and no living relatives came forward. It was decided that I was the only one eligible to get it all, including the huge insurance settlement with the trucking company whose truck, driven by a driver with a bad drinking record, had smashed Ted's car with him in it.

The previous owner was a elderly lady had outlived all of her relatives. The payments were to support the Pasadena Playhouse, a reknowned old live theatre. The monthly payments were to go directly to the Theatre. I was working as a computer consultant and making good money. I made a deal with the theatre that if they would let me continue making the payments until the whole legal mess wasstraightened out that I would make a sizable contribution to them when it was all settled. So at the age of thirty-one I am now a patron of the arts. They were so grateful for the contribution and the continued steady influx of money from the monthly house payments that they gave me season tickets for two for the rest of my life.

'Don't think; go with the flow.' I reminded myself.

On the east side of my drive way there is a cottage that years ago had been part of the estate. A previous owner had sold it with a sizable piece of the property with it. The windows on the west side looked out onto my front yard . We had been told that a man and his elderly mother lived there.

I walked around my car to retrieve Saturn . As I stood up with her carrier in my arms, I glanced at the window next door. I saw the man next door, sitting at his desk watching me. I locked eyes with him. I could have sworn that I was looking right into Ted's eyes. I froze. This had to be a hallucination. He waved and nodded. I shook my head to clear it. He was still there, smiling at me. I smiled weakly and dropped my gaze. I turned away. Now was not the time to start imagining things I told myself. I walked over to the moving van, parked on the circular driveway. The men had unloaded several pieces of furniture and boxes onto the lawn and were ready to start moving the stuff inside, so I unlocked the front door.

I went through to the kitchen and into the pantry. I closed the door and let Saturn out of her carrier. She mewed softly and wrapped her sleek black body around my leg, thanking me for releasing her and then she started exploring. She jumped up on the window ledge and looked out. She turned back to me with a pleading look in her big golden eyes.

"After the movers have gone and you've thoroughly explored the house, then you can go out and do the yard." I told her.

She seemed content with that and continued gazing out the window. I gave her a bowl of water and some dry food.

The rest of the day was spent directing where everything went. When it was all in and the movers had left, I started sorting through the stacks of boxes, extracting the ones I had marked for immediate use, bedding, bathroom necessities, kitchen items like the coffee maker. The doorbell rang. 'It must be my next door neighbor.' I thought.

Recalling my hallucination earlier, I wonder what he really looked like. I opened the door. He had his back to me. I quickly did an inventory of what I was seeing, blonde short hair, broad muscular shoulders, narrow waist, small hips and long legs. The whole package was quite familiar. And then he turned around smiling that special smile that I missed so terribly. I looked into his warm brown eyes and my mind shut down. My lights went out.

As I started regaining consciousness and becoming cognizant of my surroundings, I realized I was lying on the sofa. I heard a sound and turned my head toward it. He was standing by the mantle, frowning. He had my favorite photo of Ted and me in his hand. It had been taken on top of the Empire State Building. I closed my eyes and moaned. I wasn't imagining this. I was seeing Ted. "Do you remember when that was taken?" I asked.

He quickly set the photo down and knelt beside me. I guess he chose to ignore the question. he didn't answer. He wiped a cool damp cloth over my forehead. I opened my eyes and looked at him. Tears filled my eyes blurring my vision. I closed them and felt the tears streaking down the sides of my face. He gently wiped them away with the cloth. He was definitely Ted.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

I slowly shook my head no.

"The photo. That's not me. Who is it?" He asked

I looked at him. I closed my eyes and frowned. I pushed him away and sat up. What kind of fucked up game was he playing? I needed a stimulant to help me think, to help me cope with this. "I think I need some coffee." I stood up and walked away from him, toward the kitchen. I was angry, hurt, confused.

He followed me. I ignored him, trying to get my thoughts together and figure out what was going on. I was elated that he was not dead. I was furious that he had lead me to believe that he was, and that he let me mourn for him for three unending long years. I poured water and grounds into the coffee maker, and turned it on. I turned around, folding my arms across my chest; I leaned back against the counter. "Alright, Ted, explain."

He looked at me like I had lost my mind. He blinked and then looked at me again. I could have sworn he didn't know what I was talking about. Damn, he was a good actor. "My name is not Ted. My name is Nathan Taylor."

How the hell could he look me in the eye and act so god dammed innocent? "You fuck. You put me through three years of agony. Three years I've mourned your death every moment of every day. And now you walk back in to my life. Just like that." I snapped my fingers in his face. "How dare you?" I raged at him. I wanted to pound him to make him hurt as badly as I was hurting. Instead I turned and slammed my fist against the cabinet door. I was crying, completely out of control.

He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me away from the cabinet. My knuckles were bleeding, and there was a hole in the door. "Calm down." He said trying to sooth me.

I was having nothing of it. "How could you? No amount of money is worth what you've put me through. I really thought you were dead." I cried. I pulled away and rounded on him. "You are dead, you son of bitch." I screamed at him. "You are not going to come back into my life after abandoning me and putting me though hell for three years."

I was rabid. I could have killed him. He calmly slapped me. It wasn't a hard slap, but the shock of it quieted me. Ted had never laid a hand on me. He grabbed me and hugged me hard against his chest. When I didn't react in anger he let go of me. "I'm sorry. You're a bit hysterical. Please, sit down and tell me what you are talking about."

I stared at him in total disbelief. I was speechless. He seemed so sincere. I sat down, not taking my eyes off him. The hostility I was feeling made my eyes feel dry and hot. He gently pushed me into a chair and sat down opposite me. At odd moments like this, I always hear some stupid song in my head, like the background music in a movie. I could hear Tim Hardin singing in my mind now.

"Knowing that you lie

Straight faced while I cry"

"As I said, my name is Nathan Taylor. I grew up next door, where you first saw me. I am a Psychiatrist. I work with disturbed young people." He sat there looking at me as if he expected some kind of response from me. I just glared at him. "Won't you tell me your name?" He said it as if he were speaking to a mentally deficient. Oh man, this was good. But I wondered why he hadn't changed his occupation along with his name.

"You know my name. Why are you playing this game?" I asked.

"If I knew your name I wouldn't have to ask, now would I?"

"Alright, I'll play along. My name is Jim Baxter." I was feeling exasperated and belligerent.

"So who is this Ted you keep accusing me of being?"

"You know who the fuck you are." I growled at him.

"Okay, Jim, let's pretend I don't know." He was good at playing the head shrinker. His was voice calming, soothing. "Who is Ted?"

"You were my partner, you shit. We bought this house together before you were killed. As you well know." I screamed in frustration.

"I didn't know. I am sorry for your loss." I could see the gentle kindness in his eyes as he said that, but I still wasn't going to let him get away with this cruel, mean game.

The song played on in my head.

"Still I look to find a reason to believe."

"So very kind of you to care. And if you think you're going to get your hands on the insurance money you are wrong. I'm turning it all back to them and repay what I have spent. I'll see you burn in hell before I let you have it."

He sat across the table from me. He studied me. The coffee maker burped and sighed as the last of the water was pushed into the grounds. I got up automatically and filled two mugs. I poured a little cream and two level teaspoons of sugar into one, stirred it and handed it to him. He was hesitant to take it at first, but then he took it and raised it to his lips, tasting it as he looked at me. He frowned. I stood there watching. "What? Isn't that how you like it?"

"It's exactly like I like it. What I don't understand is how you would know that."

"I fixed your coffee at least once a day for six years. Why wouldn't I know how you like it?" I snapped at him.

"Stop." He held his hands up, palms out, in front of his chest. "This discussion is going circular. Please, sit back down and let me try to get this straight."

I sat back down, arms folded, glowering at him over my coffee mug.

"Okay, I think I have figured this out." He said. "I look exactly like Ted. I am assuming that you believe that I am Ted, and that I was not really killed. And I'm supposed to be after some insurance money. Is that correct?" I nodded.

"Okay. Now I'm going to tell you a story." He said. "This has me completely weirded out. I'm sure it will do the same to you, too. Anyway, a little over two years ago my mother died. In going through her private papers, I happened up on a set of documents indicating that I was adopted at birth. The papers also indicated that I had an identical twin that my parents had petitioned to adopt too. Apparently for some reason they didn't succeed and my twin was adopted by another family. I started a search for him, only to learn that he had died about a year earlier. His name was Ted Kincaide. Both of his parents were deceased. I looked no further."

I leaned back in my chair staring at him. Did he really expect me to believe this farfetched story? Come on, I wasn't born yesterday. As I looked at him I recalled the Ted I knew. I couldn't imagine him doing this to me. "You were the center of my universe." I said to him. "My whole life revolved around you. I don't understand. Why? I never thought money was so important to you that you would do something so dastardly as this. I loved you." Tears filled my eyes again.

"You don't believe a word of what I just told you. Do you?" he asked.

I just stared dolefully at him through my tears. Not only had he broken my heart now he was spitting on it. And I had loved him. I still loved him. The song continued in my subconscious:

"If I listened long enough to you

I'd find a way to believe it's all true."

"I guess the only thing to do is to show you the documents." He stood up. "Come with me." He turned and walked to the front door. I hesitated and then followed, thinking this was going to be good. He held the screen door open for me to step into his house, and then closed it behind himself as he followed me into the room. "Please be seated I'll be back in a minute."

I stood where I was, looking around the room. It was comfortable, decorated with discrete taste. Masculine Spanish Revival furniture complemented the style of the house itself. A couple of exquisite Plein Aire Paintings hung on the walls. A beautiful large oriental carpet covered the dark wood floor.

'This is how I want the big house to look.' I thought to myself.

He came back in the room laden with a box, a folder of papers and a first aid kit. "Before we get into this, let me take care of your hand." He sat down on the sofa, placing the box and papers on the coffee table. He opened the kit, and then patted the cushion beside him. I had forgotten about my hand. Now that I directed my attention to it, it started throbbing. "Come sit."

I sat. He took my hand and examined it. "I don't think you broke any bones, but it's going to be sore." He tore open an alcohol wipe and cleaned the dried blood off my knuckles. I hissed at the sharp sting.

"Sorry."

"'s all right."

"You'll have to replace a panel in that cabinet door. I'm glad you didn't aim at my face." He chuckled. He smoothed some ointment on them and tore open a roll of gauze, wrapped it around my hand several times and then he split the end of the roll and tied it off.

"Some one like you

Makes it hard to live without someone else."

The song sang on

"There that should keep it clean until it starts to heal." He squeezed my knee. The jolt of his touch shot up my leg. I flinched. "Sorry. I wasn't being personal."

I ducked my head embarrassed at the affect he had on me. He reached over and picked up the folder and handed it to me. "I'll leave you to peruse these. I'll be back in a moment." He left the room, leaving me with a thick file of papers on my lap. Most of them were yellowed with age. I glanced through them not knowing what I should be looking for really. I saw official looking seals and signatures. I saw his name on a birth certificate. Leafing on through them I found what looked like a copy of Ted's Birth certificate. I held it in one hand; Nat's in the other, and compared them. Nathan's being an original was certainly older looking. I leafed on through. I found a request for information and then copies of the adoption papers for Ted.

I closed the folder and laid it back on the coffee table. Okay, it looked like he was telling the truth, but again if he was going to fake his death, wouldn't he also go through the trouble of faking all these papers? My thoughts were a bunch of Keystone Cops falling all over each other, jumbled, not making sense. I sat with my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands, eyes closed, trying to not think or even feel. I was aware of when he came back into the room and sat down beside, but still I jumped when he put his hand on my back.

"I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?" he asked, rubbing his hand briskly up and down my spine. I had hungered for that touch for so long.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." I said. "It's so strange. How could you be so like him and you never even knew him? You use his expressions like 'weirded out'. You like you coffee fixed the same way. You're a psychiatrist working with kids just like him. I think it's going to take some time to accept this."

"Well, Jim, it's going to take us both time to get our heads on straight about this. Can it really be just a coincidence that my twin and his lover bought a house next door to me? I wish I could have known him. But maybe knowing you will give me a window on him."

He picked up the box and sat it between us. Opening it he took out a book of photos. "This was my family. My father and mother. This was me at three. My high school graduation picture." On and on he droned as my head swam. I had all of Ted's family photos stored away in a similar box. I had never looked at them. I stood up preparing to go.

"Nathan." Damn, it was difficult thinking of him as 'not Ted.' He looked up at me. "Nathan, I apologize for screaming at you. I'm emotionally exhausted. Please forgive me, but I've really got to be by myself for a while."

"Hey, I can see what you've gone through. I'm sorry I was party to it, but I guess neither of us could have prevented it. When you get it all straight in your head maybe we can have dinner together and start off on a new foot."

"I'd like that. I'll talk to you later." I started out the door.

"Oh, welcome to the neighborhood, Jim. Call me if you need anything. Here's my card."

"Thank you." I said, taking the card. I walked away with out looking back. I still wasn't convinced. Forget the looks, he was just too much like Ted.

Chapter 2

I didn't make contact with Nathan again for over a week. I unpacked everything and got rid of the boxes. It was beginning to look like home, although there was a scarcity of furniture. The modern dinette set was out of place in the kitchen, and way too small for the dining room, but that's where it ended up. There were several bedrooms empty. The den had only a club chair and the television set. But, hey, it was home.

~

I don't know whether it was because I was making a new beginning in this big house or the knowledge that I was living next door to a man that was either my alleged dead lover or his identical twin, but for the first time in three years I had started having erotic dreams and feeling horny again. One dream I seemed to have repeatedly was of Ted and Nathan. I was lying naked on my back while Ted would be dancing around me and then he would whirl and smile at me. He would bend down and kiss me while caressing my body. He'd whisper "I'm Ted."Then laughing hysterically he would whirl again and then again bend down, kiss me and caress me, whispering, "I'm Nathan." Over and over the dance would continue until I was so sexually excited by their caressing my body that I would ejaculate. At that point I would awaken, shaken to the core.

During the day I would think or do something that reminded me of him and I'd start getting horny. I would find myself dreaming about him naked. I would imagine I was running my hand over his hairy chest I would tickle his nipple with my tongue. It was so vivid I could feel the hairs sliding across my tongue. In the meantime he would be grasping my buns in each hand, pulling me into his pelvis while he would hump his cock against mine. He would be kissing me on the neck and nibbling my earlobes. As I moved my hand up and down my hard shaft I would imagine him dropping to his knees and engulfing my cock with his hot wet mouth. I would fill his mouth with my cum as I blasted it into my hand. I would slide down the wall, my cock still in my hand. I would weep. I was so miserable with out my Ted. And then I would think about Nathan next door and wonder what the truth really was. I didn't really face reality during that week. I lived in my fantasies and dreams and worked like a slave setting up my new home.

Saturn, Ted's cat, (she has never quite laid claim to me) had thoroughly explored the house and decided that it would do as her new abode. I let her out to explore her new yard. She had always been an indoor cat, and was a little meek about exploring at first. But once she decided that it was okay to be outside she became the stalking beast. She loved her new home.

The second Saturday morning in my new home, I decided to start on the backyard. I stood on the porch with a cup of coffee and surveyed it. Although the property was large, someone had seen the need for the intimacy of the enclosed space. I thought that it had possibly been done when the cottage next door had been sold. I loved the privacy of the six-foot high wall that enclosed it. The big old avocado tree that shaded much of the yard was filled with ripening fruit. In the middle of the yard was a tall concrete plinth that must have had a statue on it at one time.

The yard had been neglected for years. The weeds were nearly waist high. I figured where I was standing was as good a place to start as anyplace. I sighed and knelt on the edge of the walk. I started yanking handfuls of weeds out of the ground and laying them in neat piles to be bound up and hauled away later.

I'd been at it for about an hour when Saturn wandered over and walked under my chin, making certain that her tail wiped across my face. I sat back on my heels and surveyed what I had accomplished. It was getting hot. My t-shirt was stuck to my back with sweat. I stood up and pulled it off, using it to wipe my brow. I went into the house and poured myself a big glass of cool water.

When I came back out Saturn was sitting on the plinth in the middle of the weeds. "Big help you are. It's a shame you can't help me. It sure would sure make this job easier." I said out loud to her, as I sat back down on my knees. She ignored me and started cleaning her shiny black pelt.

"A big help I'd be if you'll let me come over and give you a hand. Is your gate locked?"

I was down on my hands and knees. I turned and looked. There was Nat grinning back at me, resting his head on his hands on top of the wall. Damn, even with a silly grin he was a handsome man. He was so beautiful to look at. He had a wild shock of blonde hair hanging over his forehead just like Ted always had, his golden skin setting off his clear deep blue eyes, that perpetual silly smile on his lips. I would have been happy to just sit and gaze at him the rest of the day.

"I don't know which is a prettier sight, that big pile of weeds or your butt up in the air." I bristled at the forwardness of his statement. Only Ted had ever said things to me like that. I chose to ignore it. I hadn't done any sorting out of my thoughts since my confrontation with him that first day.

"You don't really like pulling weeds." I said in an attempt at discouraging him from coming over.

"And you do?" He laughed. It thrilled through me.

"Of course not. But I have to do it." I stood and dusted my hand and knees off.

"Then I would like to help you if you would let me." He said.

How could I resist. "Truthfully," I said, "I would love the help. Let me get the key to the gate."

"I'll grab a pair of gloves and be right over." He replied.

Both of our yards had gates located side by side between his house and my garage. I had to struggle with the lock to get it to release. I took it into the garage and sprayed it with WD-40. Nathan was coming through the gate as I returned the lock to the hasp. He grinned at me. I couldn't help but grin back. His eyes were on my bare chest. I watched them lower to the top of my Levi's. I mentally shuddered. The thought of his hands on my body was sensory overload. I thought about weeds. That helped.

"Howdy, Pard. Ready to pull some weeds?" He grinned. I felt the blood leave my face.

"Jim?"

"It's all right. I just have to get used to you. Pard was a name Ted called me. It's nothing. I'll get over it."

"I'm sorry. I won't call you that again."

"No, it's okay. It's just something that I'm going to have to get used to living next door to you. Would you like a cold drink before we start?" I asked.

"Ice water would be great."

"I'd like some, too. I'll be right back."

When I came back out with a pitcher and two glasses on a tray, Nathan had already started pulling weeds. I stood and admired his beautiful back, the ripple of muscles as he worked. I had a lump in my throat and in my pants. I looked at the pile next to him. His pile was already a quarter of the size of the pile I had pulled. "I think you're trying to show me up." I said.

Nathan turned and looked up at me. "Nah, I find this therapeutic." He sat up and pulled his shirt off. My gaze slid over the familiar furry chest. It was a little more muscular than I remembered it. I handed him a glass of water. "You're as weird as Ted was, think of pulling weeds as a form of therapy."

Nat smiled at me and downed the water, wiped his mouth and handed the glass back. "Thanks. What was your name for Ted?"

I looked at him a moment before answering. "Nerd."

"That's a joke, right?" He asked.

"It was rather an inane one, Pard, Nerd, partnered as in married." Sharing that silly intimacy embarrassed me. Nathan grinned at me, and continued pulling weeds.

"I was the one that was really the nerd, with my fascination for computers." I told him. He smiled at me. That made me feel better. I knelt back where I had been working and followed suit. We worked in silence for several minutes.

'You still miss him?" Nat asked as he pulled another handful.

"There's not a moment that I don't."

Again there was a minute or so of silence. Nathan sat back and gauged how long it was going to take to reach the plinth. I was just a yard or so from it already. "There was the cutest bronze on top of the plinth when I was a kid. It was of a little boy holding a frog up by one leg. He had a such a look of gleeful delight on his face."

I sat back and looked at Nathan and then at the plinth. "I'm planning on putting Ted on it."

Nathan choked. "I don't understand." he said.

"I found this beautiful old Art Deco urn for Ted's ashes. I'm planning on placing it on that plinth when I get the yard in shape."

"Oh. May I ask why?"

"The main reason we bought this house was because Ted fell in love with this back yard. I think it would be a fitting memorial to him." I aid.

Nathan had sat back, gazing at me as I talked. "You are so beautiful. You glow when you talk about Ted. I envy what you two had. I'm sorry you lost him."

I stood up and walked away. I was having a difficult moment dealing with the surfacing emotions. I had kept them submerged for so long. I leaned against the old avocado tree. Nathan was sitting back on his heels watching me. He got up and walked over to me.

"Jim, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. I seem to be constantly on the edge of breaking down since I moved in. I have never been so lonely."

"I know loneliness. I've been alone my whole life. It must be worse when you have had someone that loved you and then you lose him."

I looked up at him. He raised a hand and caressed the side of my face. He took my face in both hands and gently kissed me. I melted. Nat embraced me tightly. "I feel comfortable holding you in my arms, Jim. This feels so right. From the first time I looked into your eyes, when you looked over your car at me, I have wanted to hold you. I've never had that urge before, toward a man or woman."

I pulled away. I was having difficulty breathing and tears filled my eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing and everything."

The truth was that I was totally confused. I was missing Ted so badly and at he same time I had a hard on for this man in front of me.

"What kind of answer is that?" He asked.

"One that covers all bases without covering anything."

"Oh, I get it. You're trying to be enigmatic." He said, joking, trying to lighten the moment.

"Not really, it's just that you're moving so fast. I feel a need to back off and breathe. And try to get my head straightened out."

"I can back off and let you breath. Let's pull some more weeds. We'll never get the job done if we keep this up."

At that moment we heard a woman calling from the other side of the gate. "Hello. Nathan are you in the back yard?"

"I'm in the yard next door." He called out, as he sprinted to the six-foot high gate. He pushed it open and a petite woman in her mid-twenties walked in. She was beautiful, raven black hair cut in a pixyish bob, big brown eyes. She was wearing khaki slacks and a man's white dress shirt, the tails tied around her flat slender midriff. Her feet were clad in thin little spaghetti strapped sandals. Something about her screamed money. Nathan swept her off her feet and whirled her around.

"Eew, you're all sweaty. Let me down. What are you guys doing back here?" She asked.

"We're pulling weeds. Come, meet Jim."

She held out her hands toward me as he made the introduction. I started to offer mine to shake, but she stepped up and hugged me. "Welcome, new neighbor." She said.

"Susan and I have been best friends since grade school. She used to live down the street until her daddy got rich and they moved to San Marino." Nat was explaining. "I guess I'll have to eventually marry her, being that she can't find anyone else suitable."

She playfully punched him in the belly. "You'd love that wouldn't you, you big lug? But I won't marry you. You could never get used to me having to have a chambermaid and butler." She said. They laughed holding each other around the waist. Well, that's not quite right. Her arm was around his butt and his was resting on her shoulder. "Besides, you sweat like a pig." She ran her finger down his sweaty chest.

"Pigs don't have sweat glands." He replied.

"Well, then a horse."

"I like horse."

"What ever. Anyway, Jim, I love him, but he's just not marrying material." She sighed dramatically.

"So you didn't drive all the way up here to tell me you won't marry me, what's up?" Nathan asked.

"Oh, daddy wants me on his arm at some big boring function tonight. You don't mind that we can't go to Kate's new gallery opening, do you?"

"You know I was only going because you ask me to go. Of course I don't mind. Why didn't just call me?"

"I can't see your ugly mug over the phone. She said, grinning at him. "Besides, I wanted a chance to meet Jim. You've talked about him so much I was intrigued." She smiled at me. I felt the blood rushing into my face. I felt angry and betrayed. Apparently, Susan thought I was just being embarrassed. "It is nice to meet you, Jim, I hope to see more of you. You blush so charmingly." She turned back to Nathan, and kissed him. He kissed her back. "Talk to ya." She said, as she walked away. She turned and waved a hand at the yard. "You know a couple of wetbacks could finish this off in a day for nearly nothing."

"It's good therapy. Getting in touch with mother earth and all." I replied. Nathan laughed.

"What ever. Bye." She disappeared though the gate.

"Her father is from Texas." Nathan said.

I guess he was explaining 'wetback'. There are certainly no rivers to cross here in Southern California.

Nathan looked at me. I frowned and turned back to the weeds. Nathan knew that I had bristled at Susan's comment. "Jim, I didn't tell her anything, except that you are very handsome. I wouldn't violate your privacy or your trust. I respect what you've been through. I respect you." My shoulders slumped as the anger receded. He thought I was handsome? "You okay?" He asked, giving me a one armed hug. I pulled away, fighting a strong urge to embrace him. "Yeah, I'm okay." I said. "It was stupid of me to just assume you were gay, I apologize."

"Apology accepted. Let's pull some weeds."

We went back to the weeds. We worked furiously, occasionally glancing up to see where the other was. The sun was well past its zenith when Nathan sat back and looked over at me. "Damn, Jim, you're really sunburned. You didn't use sun block?"

"Geez. How stupid can I get? I put some on my face and arms, but I had a t-shirt on and never even thought about the rest of me. Not that I could have reached my back." I replied.

"Dumb ass. I would have put it on you. You had only to ask." He scolded.

" Yeah, right. I'm going to go knock on your door and ask you slather my back with sun block?" I asked. "I don't think so."

Nathan laughed, and then said, "Hey, get the fuck out of the sun. You're going to be sick."

I got off my knees and walked over to the deep shade of the avocado tree. Standing up made me feel dizzy; I was feeling irritable. 'Damn, he's as bossy as Ted was.' I thought to myself. I twisted my head to look at my shoulder. I touched it with my finger and hissed from the sting. It left a white spot that took a moment to turn red again. Even though I have pitch-black hair, my eyes are blue and I don't tan easily.

"I'll be right back. I've got just what you need on that burn." Nat ran out the gate. He returned a minute later peeling a spike of Aloe Vera as he walked. I was slumped forward in a lounge chair. Nat felt my forehead. "You've got a fever, Pard. Let me coat you with this and then we'll get you some aspirin and lots of water." I drew my breath in sharply as Nat smeared the cool soothing Aloe over my back and shoulders. It made me forget the pet name he had just used. He lifted me up by my armpits and lead me into the house. "Lay face down on the sofa. Where do you keep your aspirin?"

"There's a box on the sink in the guest bathroom that has all the first aid stuff in it. Aspirin should be in it."

I dozed off. A minute later, Nathan was urging me to sit up and swallow the two tablets. I drank the whole glass of water and lay back down. Nat knelt beside me and brushed the lock of hair from my forehead. He smiled at me.

"I'm glad your are here. I'd really be suffering if you weren't?" I said.

"I'll always be here if you want me." He replied.

I frowned. "That didn't sound right coming from a straight guy with a beautiful girlfriend." I said.

"Who said I am straight? Susan is beautiful, but we're just friends."

I thought back to what he had said and done just before Susan had made her appearance. I smiled to myself, as I thought. 'I want you, too. I just have to get used to you looking and acting so much like Ted. I have to remind myself every time I look at you that I'm looking at Nathan, not Ted.' I closed his eyes. My temperature was making me sleepy. Nathan stroked my hair. He started humming. Half asleep, I listened, trying to catch the tune. Oh, yeah, it was a nursery song. "I'd rather have the mocking bird; I'm sure it would sing for us." I mumbled.

Nathan chuckled when he realized I was referring to the words of the tune he had been mindlessly humming. "Are you sure you wouldn't like the diamond ring?"

"Nah, diamonds are a girls best friend, remember? A simple silver band is all I want." I mumbled.

He chuckled again. "Are you hinting at something?" He asked.

I sat up, frowning. The temperature was making feel irritable. "Would you let it alone. We haven't known each other a week. I'm totally freaked out moving next door to you. I didn't even know you existed a week ago."

"I apologize. I'll keep my mouth shut. Lay back down." Nathan felt my forehead again. "Your temp may have dropped a little. I'll apply another coat of aloe." The aloe was so soothing, I regretted that he finished. He refilled my glass with water and set it on the table beside me. "I'm going to leave you to nap. If you need anything my number is on the card next to the water. Just call, I'll come running." He said.

I just nodded affirmation and closed his eyes.

I had no idea how long I slept. I remember at some point waking and seeing Nathan sitting in the armchair across from me, watching me. it wa comforting. I dozed back off. The next time I woke up completely. I heard a light snore and opened my eyes and saw him sprawled in the chair. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I looked at him again. "What a magnificent man he is,' I thought to myself. This time I did no comparing him to Ted. I just sat and admired him.

I got up, went into the guest bathroom and relieved myself, and then splashed cold water on my face. I took a hand towel and dried. I looked at my shoulders in the mirror and touched the skin. It left a white mark but didn't hurt. The aloe had worked its magic.

I padded softly back into the living room and stood gazing down at Nathan. I was filled with warmth. I knew that there was no backing away from this man. I felt in my heart we were predestined to be together. Supporting myself on the chair arms, I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. His eyelids fluttered, but he didn't awaken. I kissed him again. This time his eyes opened and he gazed right into mine. I grinned at him and he grinned back.

"Caught me napping, huh?" he asked

"I thought you said you were leaving."

"I did leave. And then I came back."

I straightened up and stretched. "What time is it? I feel so groggy."

"It's four o'clock." Nat answered, looking at his watch.

"Geez, I slept nearly three hours. No wonder I feel groggy." I stretched again.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"I could eat a horse."

"Like grilled Salmon instead?"

"How did you know? It's my favorite." I said.

"Just a wild guess." Nathan watched me closely to see if I was going to freak out again. I realized that was what he was doing and smiled at him. "I made a resolution that from now on I would take every thing in stride." I told him. "And I think I'll be surprised only at what we don't click on together. So where are we going for dinner? I haven't learned this area yet."

"How about my back yard."

"That's the name of a restaurant?" I asked.

"You'll love it. It's as zany as its name. Why don't you go shower. Dress is real casual. And when you're ready just come over through my back gate. In the mean time I'll go do the same."

I climbed the stairs to the bathroom. As I untied my shoes, I looked out the window. I saw Nathan stirring up the brickets in the grill. I chuckled to myself at thinking that the name of a restaurant was 'My Back Yard.' I'm sure he got a kick out of not correcting my assumption.

I showered, dressed in shorts and a loose t-shirt. I didn't bother with shoes. When I looked out into my back yard I saw that all the stacks of weeds were gone. I was amazed, delighted, pissed.I stuck my head out the window and yelled. "Where are my weeds?" I tried to sound indignant.

Nathan's head appeared above the wall. He had a big grin on his face. "I took them to the dump." He said. He looked at my exasperated expression and raised his eyebrows at me. "You didn't really want to keep them did you?"

He was so damned cute I couldn't be angry. "Of course I did. They were precious to me." I frowned. But then I couldn't help but laugh at his shocked look. He realized I was joking and grinned. "Thanks, Nathan, I owe you on that. It was really going too far though."

"Think nothing of it. I had nothing else to do while you were sleeping so I occupied my time in a constructive manner. That's all."

"You're really full of baloney. But, thanks."

Chapter 3

"Hey, this is a zany place." I yelled as I walked through gate into his back yard a few minutes later.

The plantings around the lawn were jungley, banana trees, Bird of Paradise, huge leafed vines creeping over broken marble pillars and pieces of statuary, and large brilliant Hibiscus blossoms.

"Welcome to my back yard." Nat grinned. "Have a seat. I made a big pitcher of lemonade. I'll bring it right out."

"Let me help."

"Nope. This is my shindig, so sit down and enjoy it."

I chose a chaise lounge to lie back in. I realized as I relaxed, I was still feeling exhausted. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. A moment later I heard the tinkle of ice in a glass and then liquid being poured over it. I opened my eyes just as Nathan sat a little metal table next to me and sat the glass on it.

"Lemonade, ice cold, and freshly made just for you."

"My favorite refreshment."

"Somehow I innately knew that." He said. His voice was droll.

Nat went back inside and returned with a large tray laden with the salmon, asparagus and salad. He placed the salmon on the grill, set his timer for six minutes and then rolled the asparagus spears in virgin olive oil, placed them in a mesh tray and put it on the edge of the coals.

He returned to the kitchen to get the table settings and placed them on the table. He brought out a hurricane lamp, lit it and put it in the center. I sat there watching and dozed off. The timer dinged, waking me up. I opened my eyes and watched as he turned the salmon and moved the asparagus a little closer to the heat.

He shook the vinaigrette, poured it over the salad, tossed it, and divided it onto two plates. He then took a block of imported Parmesan and shaved several slices onto the top of each salad. He uncorked the wine and set it in the middle of the table. He moved with a manly grace, sure of himself.

I closed my eyes and pretended sleep when I saw that he was ready to serve. He walked over to me and leaned down supporting himself on the chair arms. He kissed me on the forehead.

"Hey, Puddin' Head, dinner's ready."

He turned back to the grill. I frowned, but didn't open my eyes. Puddin' Head had been another pet name Ted had called me. It was painful to be called that again. 'Oh, well, get used to, Jim. Don't think; go with the flow.' I said to myself. I stretched and yawned. Wandering over to the grill, I watched Nat serve up the fish and vegetable. I took the plate he handed me and went to the table.

"Either place is fine." Nathan said. I chose a chair and he sat down opposite me.

"Dig in."

We ate in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Mmm. I haven't eaten this meal in three years. I just never bother to fire up the grill just for myself. This is so delicious." I said.

Suddenly a memory surfaced; I lay my fork down and grimaced at the pain it caused. My eyes teared.

"What's wrong? Are you all right, Jim?" Nathan's voice was full of concern.

"I just remembered. The last dinner I had with Ted was Salmon and Asparagus, the night before he was killed."

Tears ran down his face. Nathan leaned forward and covered my hand with his.

"Well, look at it this way. This is now the first meal of a new relationship."

I smiled and wiped my face with my napkin.

" I'm okay. It's just a painful memory." I picked up my wine glass and held it toward Nathan.

"May this new one be long and loving."

"It will be, Jim, it will be." He clinked his glass against mine.

At that moment Saturn leaped up on the wall. Nathan saw her and exclaimed.

"What a beautiful black cat. Is she yours?"

I turned and looked at her.

"Yeah. That's Saturn. Didn't you see her earlier in my yard? She was Ted's baby. I swear she still misses him."

"Oh that's who you were talking to. No, no I didn't see her."

"She teleports, you know. She was there on the plinth watching me. The next moment she was somewhere else. Come on down, Satty. Would you like a piece of salmon?"

Saturn let out a little chirrup and leaped to the ground. I cut a bite of salmon and held it out to her. She ignored it and walked over to Nathan and smelled him. She sniffed for a couple of minutes, checking the scent of his ankles and calves. She stretched up, standing on her hind legs and sniffed his arm. She sat down and gazed up at him for a moment, and then leaped into his lap, butted her against his chin and purred loudly.

I sat back and watched this. Her behavior was amazing. The only person I had ever seen her be that affectionate with was Ted. I didn't verbalize this. Despite all the documents and photos, there were beginning to be too many coincidences. It was making me uncomfortable.

Nathan was grinning like a fool.

"I've never had a cat. I didn't know they are such affectionate creatures."

"They're not. Usually, they 're not."

He caressed her back with both hands.

"You are such a beautiful creature, Satty."

I faked a yawn. I needed to get away and think. Nathan looked at me, his face filled with concern.

"I suspect you haven't fully recovered yet. Why don't you turn in? I'll come over in the morning and check on you."

"I feel so lethargic."

That wasn't a lie. However, I was feeling uncomfortable with all the coincidental things that just kept going on.

"Too much sun, when you're not used to it, does that to you."

"I'm a Southern Californian, for Christ sake."

"Yeah, but you obviously don't get out in the sun much. You're very fair skinned, with blue eyes. You're more susceptible to the sun's affect. Go on, turn in."

His pedantry was irritating; it was so much like Ted, always mothering me.

"Let me help you clean up before I go."

"No, I will do it. Besides you're the guest."

"Well, next time I'm family. It will be my turn."

"Agreed, go to bed."

"I'll have coffee ready in the morning."

I wasn't going to let him know I still suspected that he was really Ted. Monday morning I was going to do some sleuthing down town at the state records building.

I slid between the sheets. They felt so nice and cool against my naked skin. I lay on my back and closed my eyes, thinking that sleep would come easily. It didn't. The image of Saturn rubbing Nathan's chin kept haunting me. Why would the cat do that? She had only ever done that to Ted. She ignored everyone and only paid attention to me when she was hungry. My imagination started working.

There were to many coincidences to ignore, especially the words and how he said things. It was all too much like Ted. Maybe he was Ted. Maybe the whole accident thing was just a scam. The body had been burned beyond identification. Whose body was it if it wasn't Ted?

Maybe he was after the money. Shit! This was Ted I was thinking about having done this. Ted was too moral to do that kind of thing.

But if it was a scam and Nathan really was Ted, then who died in the accident? And if it was a scam, did he expect me to turn the money over to him? And if the scam were discovered, would I go to jail, too? If he was really Ted, did he think I was going to just fall right back into a relationship with him after the three years of mourning and misery I had been through? I found myself getting angry. How the hell could Ted do this to me? He loved me. Or had that been part of the scam, too?

I turned on the bedside light, sat up and dropped my feet to the floor. I was making me crazy. I walked to the window and pulled the gauze curtain aside, gazing out into the night. The outlook was over Nathan's yard. Movement caught my eye. I looked down and watched him cleaning the grill. His sure, swift movements were so like Ted. Watching him, my body ached with desire.

I thought about Ted naked. I envisioned his beautiful body, how the chest hair made a T with the line running down his belly to his cock and balls and his wonderful bubble butt. I imagined the sinewy muscles in his strong legs wrapped around my waist as I plowed his furrow, his heaving pecs as he strove to meet each thrust. I could see in my mind the little grimaces of pain mixed with intense pleasure of being fucked. I could hear the whimpers and grunts he made and how they crescendoed as he got nearer to climax.

I began rubbing my cock as I watched Nathan move about the yard. I had to get him into my bed soon, or burst with desire. Nathan looked up at me. He stopped and waved, then disappeared from sight. I waited to see him again. I heard a noise down stairs and attributed it to the cat snooping. I continued to watch for Nathan's reappearance. I heard a stair step squeak.

Someone was coming up the stairs. I turned to grab my jeans when he suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Hi, I thought you could use some help with that."

He motioned with his chin toward my turgid cock. He grinned lasciviously.

"How did you get in? I checked all the doors before coming up."

I tried to cover myself, as he advanced on me.

"Oh, the previous owners gave me a set of keys, in case there was a need. I think there is a need right now, don't you."

His voice was seductive. He approached closer. I backed away from him. I recalled distinctly being told that there were only two sets of keys that were handed to Ted and me. Ted's had perished with him. Or had they?

"Why are you backing away from me? I know you want me as badly as I want you." He said in a low sexy voice.

I felt the bed against the back of my knees. 'Oh, shit.' I thought. 'What now?'

"We need to talk." I said.

"In the morning."

He had his hand on the back of my head as he kissed my neck just under the ear. His other hand was spread on my buttocks pulling my pelvis against his own.

"Now." I insisted.

"No. Relax and enjoy this. I'm going to take you to Nirvana."

He licked from the base of my neck out to my shoulder. I felt myself surrendering. Tomorrow would be would be soon enough to face him with my suspicions. His tongue was circling my right nipple; he moved over and did the same to my left nipple. Yes, in the morning would be fine.

Hey, wait a minute. Nirvana? That was Ted's word. Oh, fuck. I don't care at the moment. I haven't felt this good in so long. His tongue was licking at my armpit. Without thinking I raised my arm and laid my head back enjoying the exquisite sensations. He dropped to his knees as he pushed me back onto the bed. He laid his face into my crotch. I pushed up against him. He ran his hands up and down my torso as he laved my balls. He moved up to the base of my shaft and chewed lightly, and then whipping it with his tongue he moved up to the head, running his tongue around it. I was holding my breath waiting for himto plunge down my cock like he always did. But he didn't.

He sat back smiling. I frowned. Why had he stopped? I raised my head and looked at him. Nathan stood up and started unbuttoning his shirt. I slid up the bed to watch. I could hardly wait to gaze upon that beautiful cock with.

He was taking his time teasing, as he slowly slipped his shirt off exposing his magnificent hairy chest and smooth abdomen. He tweaked his tits; I sucked in air. It was more glorious than I remembered; the stomach muscles were more defined.

He unbuttoned the top of his Levi's. I held my breath. Nat took the two ends of the waistband of his 501s and pulled, popping the metal buttons out of the holes in the fly, exposing his generous thatch of rich reddish-blonde pubic hair.

I could see the base of that rampant rod that tented the right leg of his jeans. I waited eagerly to see the rest of it.

He turned his back to me and started to slowly shimmy his pants down, exposing his marvelous globular buns. I blew air out my pursed lips. He pushed the jeans down to his feet and stepped out of them. He stood with his back to me, his hand on his hips. Now for that glorious cock. I waited.

Suddenly he whirled and dived onto the bed next me, not giving me a chance to see what I had so eagerly awaited. He molded his body to mine. I embraced him, pulling his hairy chest to mine. I sought his mouth. We kissed, our tongues battling for dominance in each other's mouth.

I pushed him on to his back, and rolled on top of him. I sat up and studied his body. It was as thrilling as I remembered it. I could feel his hard cock pulsing under me. I caressed his chest memorizing it again, the feel of the contours, the texture of the hair covering it, and the pert nipples that stood at attention when they were touched. I trailed my fingers across his collarbones remembering the hollows and curves. He lay still watching me explore.

I moved forward, reached behind me and grasped the hard shaft that was nudging my crack, leaving a wet dewy trail where it touched me. I ran my hand up and down it. It didn't feel right. I frowned and looked down at him and twisted to look at his cock.

I turned back and looked again at him. I laughed hysterically. Suddenly all the tension and tormenting doubt disappeared. Now I could pursue this new relationship with total confidence. Tears of joy coursed down my cheeks.

Nathan looked at me with concern. His cock deflated.

"Jim? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked.

I laid forward onto his chest. Great heaving sobs racked my body, as I tried to regain control enough to tell him. Nathan embraced me. Caressing my back he asked again. I was crying. But I was also laughing so hard I couldn't explain. And then I got the hiccups, which made it sound more like I bawling.

"What's wrong, Babe? Talk to me. Tell me what has you so upset."

"I'm not---hic---up---set. I'm happy."

"I don't understand, Jim. You're bawling your head off and you're happy?"

I nodded against his chest.

"Yes---hic."

He rubbed my back some more.

"Will you tell me why you're so hysterically happy?"

"Ted is really dead. I was so sure---hic---that you were Ted. But now I know you aren't. Ted was circumcised. You still have your foreskin."

Nathan laughed.

"If I had known that was all it took to convince you. I would have pulled it out the first time I met you."

We both laughed again. He pulled me down and embraced me. I hugged him back.

"I love you, Jim."

"Nathan. Damn, I love you, too."

Well? Let me hear what you think. js.collection@verizon.net