Tears in Your Eyes

By Colleen Hasiuk

Published on Sep 16, 2000

Gay

********** DISCLAIMER: The guys from *NSync aren't gay to the best of my knowledge. This story is FAN FICTION, meaning IT IS NOT REAL. I don't know them, either. Capishe? Good.

Thanks to Joey, Red, Becca M, Wen, Sammy, and everyone else who's sent me feedback on this story. I love hearing from you guys!

Reccomendations: "Busta" (as always), "Lance-N-JC", "My Surprise Romance", "Millennium Love", "This I Promise You", and in general, every story on this archive! =-) **********

Chapter 14: A Film Without Sound

"Josh, you want to go out for dinner with us?" Kevin's voice greeted JC over the phone at about 6 o'clock that night. JC sighed. He was tired and didn't really feel up to going out.

"I don't know, Kev. I need my sleep, you know."

"You sleep so much!"

"I know but I'm REALLY tired..."

"Come on, Josh... please?"

"You know I can't refuse that voice, Kev. I'll call the others and ask, K? Give me five minutes to make the calls."

"Gotcha." They hung up their respective phones, and JC called Justin's room. There was no answer, causing JC to frown before shrugging. He disconnected, and then quickly called Lance and Joey.

"Hey, lovebirds," JC greeted Joey after the phone was picked up. "Kevin wants to know if we'll go out for dinner with the guys from Backstreet." JC heard Joey put his hand over the phone for a moment and JC heard some muffled talking. It sounded like Joey and Lance were argueing about something, but Joey soon uncovered the phone again, a decision reached.

"Does Kevin realize..."

"I think he wants to do it so he can gauge reactions. Nicky knows-Chris told him earlier while the two of them were playing basketball-and I think Kev wants to see how the others will react."

"How do you know Chris said anything?"

"Chris asked me before he met Nick earlier, why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Joey said, and sighed heavily. "I don't like it, Josh, but Lance says he wants to go, so..."

"Have you guys seen Justin, by the way?" JC asked, remembering.

"No, why?"

"I called his room right before I called you and he didn't answer." On the other end, Joey got up and knocked on the connecting door. No answer again. When he tried the door, he found it was locked.

"Josh, I don't think he's in his room." Joey's voice was deliberate, thinking about the last time this had happened. JC felt it too, because he felt a sense of dread overcome him and began to hyperventilate.

"Josh, we'll be right there," Joey yelled, dropping the phone and dragging Lance out of bed.

"What the?"

"Justin's missing."

"Oh, my God..." Lance threw some clothes on and they tore across the hall where JC sat on his bed, already hysterical.

"Josh, relax," Joey tried to sooth him. He turned to Lance. "Call Chris and get him here ASAP." Lance flew to the phone, leaving Joey to calm JC down.

"Kevin," JC finally choked out.

"What?"

"Call Kevin and tell him." Joey grabbed JC's cell and dialled the number.

"Hi, JC," Kevin said, reading the display.

"It's me," Joey's voice responded.

"Joey, what's wrong?"

"Justin's missing."

"Fuck!" Kevin yelled, startling Nick and Brian, who were in his room with him. They were just waiting for AJ and Howie to arrive. Those two had been spending more and more time apart from the rest of the band, which was really making Kevin wonder what was going on.

"What?" Brian and Nick exclaimed as one.

"Nicky, check AJ's room. Brian, go to Howie's. See what the hell is keeping them!" Frightened, they both quickly obeyed. They weren't used to seeing this side of Kevin, and they knew better than to talk back when he got like this.

"Kev?" It was JC's voice this time.

"Josh, I sent Brian and Nicky to check up here. We'll find him, Josh. I promise."

"It's my fault, Kevin..." JC's voice was small and sad, driving a wedge of terror into Kevin's heart.

"Why do you say that?"

"I talked to JoBeth. I told her what he did to me and Lance. It's because of me that he's hurting Justin."

"Shit, JC, stop it! It's not your fault! When Nick and Bri get back we are coming downstairs, got it?" A tiny voice answered in the affirmative so Kevin sighed. "JC, put Joey back on for a second."

"I'm sorry..." There was the sound of the phone exchanging hands.

"Kev, please find him," Joey pleaded. "I don't think Josh can surivive this waiting much longer."

"Where's Lance?"

"He and Chris just walked in the room," Joey said before covering the phone. "Chris, why don't you take JC to the bedroom and put him to bed? Thanks, Chris..." There was a long pause before Joey spoke again. "Lance!"

"Yeah?"

"Go hide all the medication and stuff in the bathrooms. As of right now, I don't want JC left alone AT ANY TIME, understood? I don't want to give him any chances to try anything."

"Is that really neccessary, Joey?" Kevin asked, hearing every word and growing more and more concerned.

"Kevin, you saw what he did to himself after Lance was raped, and if it happened to Justin..."

"God, I never thought about that." Just then, Kevin's attention was turned elsewhere.

"No luck, Kev," Brian gasped, having run all the way to Howie's room and back. "He's not in his room."

"AJ's not in his, either," Nick said, trying to catch his breath. He, too, had run to the room he was asked to check and back.

"We're going downstairs. Joey just put JC on suicide watch."

"Shit!" Nick and Brian both yelled.

"Joey, we're on our way," Kevin said, then was gone. Joey turned to helping Lance remove anything JC could possibly use to kill himself with before there was a knock on the door. Joey opened it to find Kevin, Brian and Nick standing there, panicked. Brian pushed past Joey to join Chris, who was still sitting with JC while Kevin and Nick stayed back to talk to Lance and Joey.

"What happened?"

"Josh called us after you called him, and asked if we knew where Justin was. He had called and got no answer, so I knocked on the door between Lance's room and J's. I didn't get an answer, either, which is when JC started to freak."

"He said something about it being his fault, Joe."

"I know! That's why I put him on the suicide watch. I know if given the chance, he will try to kill himself. I'm terrified he'll succeed this time, Kev."

"Joey, we won't let him," Kevin said, pulling Joey into a hug. Lance wrapped his arms around the both of them, offering silent comfort. Suddenly, JC's cell phone rang.

"Hello, JC's phone," Lance said after he answered it since he was the closest to it. There was silence. "Hello?"

"Lance?" a small voice asked. Lance shrieked, drawing everyone's attention to him.

"Justin! Where are you!" JC jumped out of bed in the next room and grabbed the phone away from Lance.

"Justin... God, Justin, I was so worried... where are you?"

"I'm in my room, why?" Justin's voice sounded stronger this time.

"Why the hell weren't you answering your phone?" JC allowed his anger to overcome his relief.

"I was sleeping!"

"Justin, even you don't sleep that deeply."

"Well, I was. Now, what the hell is going on in your room? I can hear you guys from here! All that yelling woke me up!"

"I got worried because you weren't answering your phone and that brought everyone running."

"You got worried?"

"After what happened to Lance..."

"Oh, Josh!" Justin exclaimed, realizing what his best friend was going through. "I honestly never heard the phone ringing! I guess I was really tired or something."

"Don't worry about it. As long as I know you're OK..."

"I'm fine, Josh," Justin said firmly. JC frowned slightly. There was something in Justin's voice that he didn't quite like.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I promise- I'm fine. I'll even come over in half an hour and prove it to you." JC agreed grudgingly and hung up. Justin lay in his bed for a while, thinking. He had woken up on the floor with a large bump on his head. He glanced around and saw a discarded shoe that he must have tripped over, causing him to fall and hit his head on something. He shook his head, mentally kicking himself for being so messy before his mind turned back to the nightmare he had been woken from.

My God that nightmare was realistic, he thought. I could have sworn he was actually in here with me, raping me. I'm glad the noise woke me up... God knows what I would have dreamed about if I had have stayed asleep for much longer. God knows what I would have DONE if that dream went further. I know how JC and Lance feel now, even if it hasn't physically happened to me. How could they have survived that? Justin sighed heavily and got up slowly. He could almost feel the pain of being... violated. He shook his head again and got in the shower, feeling a little more sympathetic towards both JC and Lance.


"Justin, what happened earlier?" Nick asked later that night during dinner. After great debate, the group had chosen the Hard Rock Caf^Â for their dinner. JC was happier than a pig in mud, and Justin laughed seeing his friend so happy. Nick's question brought Justin back to earth.

"I must have been in a really deep sleep," Justin said. "I didn't hear the phone ringing, or Joey's knocking. The only reason I know he knocked is because he told me on the way here."

"But what happened? I mean, you usually don't sleep that deeply."

"What does it matter?" Justin cringed at how harsh his voice sounded. "I'm sorry, Nicky. I just didn't sleep very well."

"Don't worry about it," Nick said cheerfully. Justin laughed at how Nick could stay upbeat even when someone yelled at him.

"Joey, stop it!" Lance interrupted the conversation suddenly. Everyone looked at the couple, who were trying to fade into the booth. It wasn't working, as Lance had a very visible, bright red mark on his neck, just above the neckline of his T-Shirt.

"What's going on?" Kevin asked, going into father-mode. Lance blushed while Joey glared as if to say, 'do you really need to ask?'.

"Umm..."

"Get a room," Brian said tiredly from his place next to JC, who was talking to Chris. Joey and Lance both stuck their tongues out at Brian and he grinned evilly.

"Don't stick those things out at me unless you plan to use 'em," he teased. The pair looked at him and then at each other.

"What room are you in, baby? We'd be glad to give you a demonstration of our tongue control later," Joey growled, winking. Brian turned bright red, causing everyone else to laugh.

"I don't think Bri here has ever been such a lovely shade of red," Kevin said thoughtfully, swallowing his smile at the same time. "How did you do it?"

"We want to thank the Academy... whoops. Sorry," Lance laughed. Brian blushed again before kicking Lance under the table, ending the arguement. The rest of dinner went smoothly, and the group got back to their hotel about ten o'clock that night.

"I need sleep," JC groaned. Howie and Kevin had already gone up to their rooms, AJ had disappeared somewhere, Joey and Lance were at the pool, and Chris was on his cell talking to Danielle.

"I hear ya, Josh!" Justin and Nick agreed. Brian nodded as well, so the four men bid each other goodnight and headed off to bed.

"Justin, can you stay with me tonight?" JC asked shyly once the two *NSyncers reached their floor.

"Whenever you need me," Justin said, following JC into his room. The two fell into bed and were asleep almost instantly. No more than four hours later, Justin's screams woke JC up.

"Nononononononononono!" Justin screamed, thrashing around on the bed. JC sat up and grabbed his friend's arms.

"Justin! Wake up! JUSTIN!" JC started shaking his friend hard, attempting to wake him up. No response.

"That hurts... please don't hurt me... God, don't hurt me..." Justin's screams had turned into little whimpers by that point and JC froze up in fear. Had Justin... JC shook Justin one last time, finally bringing the younger man out of his dream. Justin blinked the sleep out of his eyes and saw JC's face hovering above him, blue eyes concerned.

"What were you dreaming about, JuJube?" JC asked softly. Justin turned away, not wanting to think about it.

"Josh, don't..."

"Justin, TELL ME. I need to know, sweetie."

"He was here, Josh."

"Who was?"

"The guy who raped you and Lance." JC's face went white. "I felt him do things to me, Josh!"

"Justin, he's not here, I promise. I won't let him do anything to you, JuJube. No matter what, I promise you that."

"I felt him, Josh..."

"It was a dream, sweetie. A bad dream."

"I know what you and Lance went through now..."

"I hope to God you don't, Justin," JC sighed. "I wouldn't wish that on anybody, not even my worst enemy."

"Josh, who was it?" Justin suddenly demanded, sitting straight up in the bed. It was JC's turn to look away. "Josh, tell me- who was it. I need to know."

"Justin, why?"

"I need to know. I need to know if we're thinking of the same person at this moment. I don't want to hate an innocent person."

"Who was it for you?" JC asked. Justin leaned over and whispered a name in JC's ear, and JC nodded once. Justin's heart sank. "HE did this to you- and to Lance?" JC nodded again. "I'm going to fucking kill the bastard!"

"So why don't I save you the trouble?" a voice asked from the doorway. Both JC and Justin jumped at the sound of his voice and tried to crawl backwards on the bed.

"Oh, shit," Justin swore. "Oh, shit."

************ Gotta love cliffhangers! =-)

Colleen, the nsyncslash list's "Feedback Smurf"

Next: Chapter 16


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