Preface: This story is true except the name of one of the people involved has been changed. It describes an experience I had in the fall of 2005. If descriptions of male sexuality bother you or offends you, please read no further.
This story is the latest in a series about my sexual struggles as I have grown. Before reading this story, readers may be interested in first reading the other stories I have written in order:
the first about a relationship I had my senior year in high school. It may be read at any nifty.org site: /nifty/gay/camping/bobby-big-and-tight/
and then reading a story about my Freshman year in college at /nifty/gay/college/starved-for-attention
and then a story about my experience with a street hustler /nifty/gay/encounters/street-boi
and a story about my visiting an online friend /nifty/gay/encounters/doing-paul
I also have one story where I tried my hand at writing fiction /nifty/gay/incest/soul-food
Readers who have followed my previous stories understand that I had left college to care for an ailing father on behalf of my working mom. I now live at home - away from the college life where I lived a very active gay lifestyle. At home I am straight. The perfect son. The perfect neighbor.
Since leaving school last year and moving back to New Jersey, and have re-connected with an old high school flame, a female, of great beauty, hot body and personal warmth for whom I now have great affection. I have been straight each day since my return from school (save for one episode that I may recount in another piece) and have been faithful to my girlfriend, Shannon. Or so it was until recent events.
-=*=-
As a way for new students to get acquainted with campus activities, the college where I recently enrolled offers a student fair of booths and tables sponsored by different student organizations. Here I could go and check out the different groups while also picking up my course offerings and paper work. Along with student newspaper, student council/senate, debate club, club sports, etc. there was the ever-present Union of Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transgender Students -- the UGLBT or some such alphabetical monstrosity. I was going to check out the table for some kicks and then keep moving on to clubs more in keeping with my interests (I'm not the liberal activist type, in fact, they creep me out).
While taking a speedy look at the table's brochures and pamphlets, a young student walked up beside me and did the same. I sensed his presence to my left and I caught a glance from the corner of my eye. "Looks like a freshman," I thought and went to the end of the table so I could turn and check him out from a bit of a distance. The frumpy dyke in the chair on the other side of the table appeared to take little note of either of us.
The first thing that struck me was his hair, blonde with darker roots, probably sun bleached as it also appeared dry and straw-like. It was longer than most haircuts and hung down to his mid-neck but not to his shoulders. He was rather unkempt (compared to my Dockers and clean shirt) and wore baggy draw string pants, sandals of some kind, and a colorful t-shirt. He seemed oddly out of place for a school in New Jersey, but then again, such boys did hangout up and down Jersey Shore communities around Avalon.
Years of practice allowed me to take him all in while I appeared to diligently peruse the table's literature. But eventually, I was caught and our eyes locked on one another.
"Hey," I said, making the first contact.
"Hey," he said back, smiling and a bit nervous.
"I'm not so sure about this group," I said, "I'm not much into organizing on this kind of stuff."
It was clear he didn't know how to answer as it was more of a statement than a question.
He answered, "I'm just checking out all the tables, anyway."
Hmm, I thought. He is very clever to use the "I'm at THIS table because I'm checking out ALL the tables," line as it doesn't commit him to being queer. But I knew it was bullshit. Straight guys don't stop at tables like this unless it's the football jocks, and they're just stopping by to guffaw and crack jokes. No, if this kid is here, then he's either gay or a straight-activist type. And this kid had freshman written all over him, usually it takes a few years to turn ordinary American straight youth into Leftists. No, I thought, if this kid is a freshman, then he's gay and he is checking out the gay scene at his new school.
(A quick comment before I continue. I've become an excellent judge of character and people over the last couple of years. Out of shear survival, it seems, I've picked up all the necessary gaydar, cunning, wiliness, and intuition to operate in most any situation instantly. It wasn't always so, but it is certainly so now that I am one kid living in two different worlds. That is why I was so confident when sizing him up.)
"Good idea checking out all the tables. By the way, I think the guys in this Union are probably ugly anyway," I said. And waited for him to respond.
He picked up one brochure that had a picture of two bare-chested men hugging, "They aren't bad though," he said and flipped the brochure toward me so I could see the cover.
"No, sir, they are not...but I don't think those two are coming to any meetings around here any time soon, either." I responded with a laugh.
The kid laughed back. "Are you a freshman or a transfer?" I asked him.
"Freshman, but I'm new to Jersey and just started living with my mom to go to school here. I actually grew up in Arizona," he said with an increasing easiness. "I'm Kavan, by the way."
"Hey, Kavan, I'm Jonathan. I'm a transfer myself, but grew up around here. So if you need to find your way around Jersey, just let me know." I wrote my email and IM address on the back of one of the transgender brochures and gave it to him. "I have to go, I'm late for something, but just email me if you or your mom need know anything. I like showing off Jersey to newbies".
And with that I was out of there. I think I mentioned his mom to make me seem "safe". In actuality, I was quite pleased with myself that I had chatted up a sweet young thing like Kavan. That is until I remembered that I was not supposed to act this way anymore. Damn, this wasn't college in Connecticut.
I was back home now: mom, dad, Shannon, friends from high school. Remember them? The forces that compel me to normalcy? For a few short minutes I had been back in Connecticut and on the prowl for a score but when reality hit I quickly dreaded that I had given him a way to contact me and hoped that I would never see or hear from him again.
I have found that it is easy to be pure when free from temptation.
-
That night, I was at Shannon's apartment. As we fucked, I thought of the new kid. As I slid into her, I thought of my cock slipping into his ass. This was not the first time I thought of a guy while having sex with Shannon, but it was the most intense of these fantasies. I seemed to feel her vagina tighten around my dick as though her cunt became smaller and dryer. I turned her around and laid her on her stomach so I could take her pussy from behind. I pretended to smell the smell of Kavan on her hair. I came inside her and wished, for this one time, that she was him.
The next night, I was hanging in my bedroom (embarrassingly) in my parent's home when I got an email from an address I did not recognize and the subject heading left me uneasy: "New Jersey Newbie". I knew it was Kavan so I clicked "delete", walked away and laid down on my bed.
I tried to remember his face. The hair was easy to recall, as I said, sun-baked blonde, dry and scraggily. His face was cute, very cute even. Small nose, tan skinned, eyes sitting a bit further apart than normal, but in an intriguing way. White teeth and thin red lips. And, if I wasn't mistaken, he may have also had a bit of blonde hair on his chin, a little scruff of a beard just toward the tip of his chin.
I thought of his face as I pulled my cock to the side of boxers and began to stroke my dick. I pictured myself loosening the strings of his pants and pulling them down to expose his cock to my mouth. I wished to smell him in front of me and wondered what kind of aroma the skin on his dick would give off and what taste I might enjoy from underneath his balls. I stroke slowly and the feeling of pleasure spread down my legs and around the round of my ass as I began to pump cum onto my bare stomach. I dipped the tip of my finger into the pools of cum that stretched from my nipples down to my pubic hair. I felt the cum between my fingers and wondered if for the rest of my life, the only semen I would feel, would be my own.
I tried to sleep, but sleep would not come. I got up, walked a bit around my room and went to my computer. I opened my e-mail's trash folder and moved the New Jersey Newbie's email back into the inbox to consider it later in the light of morning...
There is an old joke that says, "The trouble with temptation is that it may never come your way again."
Next day, I opened the email and it read, "Hey, nice meeting you the other day. I'd like to take you up on your offer to show me around, I HATE not knowing how to get around this place! Let me know what's good for you. Thanks...Kavan"
Without thinking much about it, I emailed back, "Thanks for the email. No problem at all to show you around (what? you're Mom doesn't want to join us? lol) Just IM me this afternoon and we'll hook up." -- Jon"
That afternoon, Kavan IMed me while I was online and we went through a bit of small talk, but soon set up time that night to meet near campus. I told him we could drive around to give him a sense of where everything was in my "idyllic" suburban metropolis. That evening would be a perfect time for meeting up with Kavan because on Thursday nights Shannon usually helped her dad with the bookkeeping for his small business. She'd be happy I had something to do rather than complain about her work and school schedule. How ironic and sad that Shannon would be so enthusiastic about me going out with "one of the guys".
Kavan and I met in the parking lot of a local Subway sub shop and left his car behind and joined me in my Explorer. After over an hour of driving around the town and the college area, I was able to give him a sense of how the roads worked in the region, when it was best to hop on the highway, or when it was best to stay on the local roads or avoid Route 1. I showed him where the movie theaters were and where the three malls were. Kavan seemed to appreciate my mini-tour and offered to buy me a drink.
As I said before, Kavan is really cute. About my height, maybe 5' 10" but skinnier than me. Over drinks (I had beer, he had to have a soda because he didn't bring his fake ID), he told me the story of his parent's divorce seven years ago and how he stayed in Arizona to live with his dad through high school, but when it came time for college, both parent's thought he'd be better off heading "back East", so here he was.
Then it was my turn to tell my little life story (leaving out the sex stuff, of course). When I was done telling him the story of my going to college in Connecticut and how I had to come back to help my mom and dad, out of the blue he asked, "So, do you have a girlfriend?"
Now, let me tell you directly, I was not prepared for the question.
Why would he ask such a thing? Remember, I simply assumed that Kavan assumed that I was queer because I was hanging out at the UGBLT table. But maybe I assumed wrong. Maybe he had made no assumptions at all. Maybe he was just an average straight guy checking out all the tables and assumed incorrectly that I was just an average straight guy doing the same. I should say that I am often amazed when I meet people who are normal and straightforward with themselves and others. I sometimes wonder if I am the ONLY person that is playing all the angles...don't get me wrong, I'm glad there are good people left out there, but I am usually surprised when people are not more like me).
I didn't know what to say. Here was my chance to tell him about Shannon and immediately diffuse any trouble lurking up ahead. But when it comes to sex, there is a bad part of me that seeks trouble, conflict, and worry. Were I to pretend I was totally straight, what use would Kavan be to me? I didn't need any new guy friends. I had plenty from high schools. No, what I wanted...deep down REALLY wanted, was an 18 year old gay boy as a friend. So, I played it direct, gave a big laugh and said, "God, no. No girlfriends for me. I'm gay."
I waited for his response, unsure of what it might be. Then I got to thinking that maybe Kavan was straight after all? Was my gaydar in such disuse that I could no longer trust my instincts?
"That's what I thought. Me, too. I was just checking," he said and laughed.
"Damn right," I said. "You can't be too careful nowadays. Being gay is "in" right now. Like having an IPOD. You never now who you'll meet at gay outreach tables these days. They might be faking it for attention," I laughed, relieved.
When the night was done, we agreed to hook up soon for a movie or something. "Nothing more pathetic than going to a movie alone," he said, "It's the worst part about moving somewhere new." And we said our goodbyes.
I was proud of myself and proud of my self control. Granted, the fact that I wasn't drinking alot probably had much to do with the fact that I didn't try to hit on him right then and there. But still, I had resisted the temptation to make a play for him and so, for a short while at least, I convinced myself that maybe I was just looking to make a friend. Maybe I could just kind of keep going with Shannon AND have a new friend who just happened to be gay. Such is the power of self-delusion.
Each day, my emotions would swing back and forth. What is my true intention? If my intention is to just have a friend, why did I lie about having a girlfriend? Further, why did I lie about being gay when I believe myself to be more bisexual than anything else? And now that I've made these lies, how do I extricate myself from them?
But despite these moments of reflection, the bad part of me always knew why I did not tell the whole truth to him. The subconscious never lies. I didn't want a friend at all, inside I knew I wanted to fuck this kid ... and I feared my life was about to get very complex.
The next Monday, I decided it was time to check in with Kavan. I emailed him my cell phone number and he rang me up within the hour. He spoke with some excitement in his voice as he asked me if I was interested in going to Atlantic City the very next night. Kavan's dad was in advertising and had done work with some of the big casino companies in Vegas. He had received complimentary hotel stays as gifts lots of times and they had started to build up. Since they were good for the company's hotels in AC as well, Kavan's dad offered him a couple of the free nights in AC to check out the action there.
I told him that it sound like I might be able to join him, but that I'd have to check on a few things and that I'd get back to him.
First, I had to check with my mom and dad to make sure they were okay if I went on a quick junket for a night. They were no strangers to Atlantic City before my dad got sick, so they thought it was a good idea. The next issue was Shannon...
As if to make up for guilt, I had been exceedingly solicitous of Shannon ever since I'd met Kavan. I was sure to place a few more phone calls each day, and more talking and sharing never failed to strengthen the bond of affection Shannon felt for me. This tactic often proved effective if I was to require a favor from her. And so it was, that when I told Shannon I was planning to do a quick night in AC with a guy from school, she was cool with it.
As things worked out, Kavan and I barely used the hotel room at all and, instead, played blackjack straight through the night. At about 5:30 am, we made our way back to the room drunk and exhausted for just a few hours sleep. Any desire I may have had to grab his cock or feel his ass was, unfortunately, over-ruled by my desire for immediate sleep. But as thinks often do for me, fate turned toward my favor.
We awoke at about 9 am; fairly refreshed given the short nap time. We could have gone to play a few more hands, but as we were each down a hundred bucks or so, we decided not to press our luck but to head home for some real sleep. As we drove north, I think our collective weariness lowered our guard a bit much like alcohol does.
This allowed for some interesting and sexually suggestive conversation as I began to recount some of my "lurid past" for him after this 18 year old cutie asked if I was "experienced":
I told him, "I guess you could say that I am. I wasn't one of those gays who knew since they were four years old they were queer. I didn't really figure it out until after high school. I could give you the gory details but it's enough to say that after a brief relationship with a guy high school friend, I kind of went wild when I got on my own in college. I don't think being within a short train trip to New York City was very good for me. Too much easy access to easy guys, if you know what I mean. I never had much trouble attracting attention, but it was certainly a bit more difficult to keep them around once they were done with me. Not that I really need the emotional part of the relationships. I guess it is just that in hindsight I recognize the encounters to be so one-sidely physical."
I continued, "As for "experience" itself. I've pretty much done it all as far as gay sex goes. Being drunk and gay in New York lends itself to having lots of different experiences. Some of them I'm a bit embarrassed to talk about and some of them are a bit degrading, but others I'd like to think are fairly normal, provided you think in terms of NYC and not Topeka, Kansas." I paused for a moment and added," or Arizona for that matter."
Kavan seemed to want details, but was too shy to ask for them. I thought I'd give him some sexy stuff to think about that would also make me more desirable. The more I talked, the more I wanted him...and as I shocked him with some of my stories, I hoped he would get a bit horny himself if I was graphic enough.
"I once gave a kid a blowjob for about 45 minutes. I kept my fingers pressed right under his balls to feel if he was going to cum and would stop if I thought he might start cumming. It was torture for the guy and he kept begging me to finish him off but I wouldn't. A couple of times he reached down to try to finish the job himself. But I got a bit rough with him and told him that this was going to finish my way."
I gave laughed a few times in recounting that story and Kavan seemed appropriately shocked and interested at the same time.
I told him, "It's the older guys that are the kinkiest. If I'm hooking up with someone my own age or younger, it's nice. Lot's of kissing and stroking and foreplay, you know? Not so much fucking, unless it is a few dates in. That's just the way it tends to be. But the guys in their Thirties in NYC or those in their Forties who lied to me about their age were usually the weirder ones. No kissing there. Most of them want to get it on and get off. I guy had me pee on him one time. I have no idea why. Another guy was only into rimming me. No reciprocation at all. That was it. He pulled his pud some while he did it but it seemed more about eating my ass than shooting his load. Not that I complained, of course." And laughed.
Kavan said nothing, but I'm sure he must have had a hard on by now. I know I did. I guess you can say I'm a natural-born storyteller and a devious one at that. The purpose of all these stories was to move Kavan emotionally forward under my direction and for my eventual use. It sounds more evil than I think it is. Isn't all flirting basically manipulation anyway?
"How about you? What fun did you have in Arizona?", I asked.
"Well, obviously nothing like you. Not even close. Since my junior year in high school when I kind of came out to myself, I've dated three guys, none for very long. . Most if it was just jerking each other off in bed and kissing. With one guy we tried oral on each other, but it was both our first times and I don't think we actual got it. It's harder than it looks." We both laughed. "I was always afraid my dad would find out, so I did really look for a relationship. In the back of my mind I think I decided that I could pursue something meaningful once I got to college where I would not be so afraid about meeting people."
I was pretty surprised by his inexperience. It kind of thought that with his good looks that he would have had a bunch of serious boyfriends and plenty of experience. But perhaps, I thought, this might work to my advantage.
"Don't worry, guy. If you ever have a question, just ask. If I don't know the answer, I'll just make one up and say it in a voice that you will believe. But since you are now in college, let me give you some guidepost that have worked for me. If you are looking for a learning experience, your best bet is to hook up with a friend first. Someone you know. If you head off into New York, you might get your experience, but you will get a lot more than you bargained for too. Those guys can smell inexperience and take advantage of it. You'll get some guy telling you, 'before you fuck me, you have to eat my ass out first. That way your dick will go in better.' Bullshit, you don't have to rim some guy before you fuck him. You know what I mean. But these guys are masters of this stuff."
"Also, this is how I think of it. If a kid is 17 years old, I'll have sex with him no matter what he looks like, okay? If he is in his early 20s, he's got to be at least as good looking as me. Older 20s and thirties, he's got to be in great shape and good looking. It's a sliding scale. If the guy is in his 40s, I'm gonna have to be drunk and he's gonna have to be in good shape and TOTALLY into me. You know? I'm never going to rim some 40 year old guy, but he sure as hell better be ready to rim me good and plenty? And a 50 year old guy better be rich as shit!" Kavan laughed out loud.
"I know I'm being blunt about this stuff, but that's how it is with me...How old did you say you were, 18?"
"Yeah, 18 last April."
"See, you're younger than me, so I'd give you the 'Full Monty' on the first date. No questions asked."
Kavan laughed, "What's the 'Full Monty'?"
"It's what I call it when I'm into the guy I'm screwing and have him lay back and it it's about him instead of me. Younger guys and inexperienced guys like you need to be pampered and I get off on it. But, see if you were older than me, then you would have to give ME the Full Monty..."
"See?", I said laughing," You're in luck! You're not in New Jersey for more than a month and you already have a date!"
Kavan laughed, not sure what exactly to say next, so I spoke up first. "Well, how about it? I'm willing if you're interested."
Kavan laughed again, and said "What the fuck. Sure. Why not?"
"You really sure?" I asked again.
"Yeah, like I said, why not?", he replied.
"Fine." I said. "We'll stop at my sister's when we get back into town for our date."
Kavan looked surprised, "Cripe, I didn't think you meant now."
"Your not gonna chicken out already, are you?", I asked.
He didn't reply, so I kept driving with a smile on my face.
We were about 15 minutes from home and I had some quick thinking to do. ----
I don't have a sister.
I don't have a bedroom of my own. I live with my folks still.
However, I DO have a girlfriend with her own apartment.
It was Friday; she had a school work study program going on in Lawrenceville every Thursday and Friday for most of the day.
When I pulled off the exit ramp, I said to Kavan, "I gotta see if I can get my sister's apartment." I pulled the car into a parking lot and as I got of the car, I said, "Don't chicken out on me." And I closed the door. Took a few steps and pulled out my cell phone and called Shannon.
"Hey, babe, it's me...what's going on?"
"Hey...sweetie. Where are you?"
"We're going to be leaving Atlantic City pretty soon. I won a couple of hundred dollars, so I'm calling to make a date with you so I can spend some of it." "Oohh, that sounds good. Maybe you can take me to the mall and I'll spend it all myself." "Sorry, hon. The date will be the old fashioned kind, dinner and drinks. You have to spend your own money at the mall..."
"But you have so MUCH of it..."
"Yeah right....maybe today, but there won't be much left if I give you a shot at it. I was thinking that there are a couple of places in Princeton that are nice, so why don't I head down there around five o'clock and I'll pick you up at work."
"That sounds fine. I'll ask some folks here what's good."
"Okay. I'm going to be running around, so if plans change, just call me on the cell before you start screwing up my schedule....I'll see you at five unless you call. Love you."
"Okay, I'll see you. Love you."
And before you knew it I was in the car. Shannon was ensconced at work for the rest of the day and she'd promised to call me if she did anything other than work and wait for me to show up about five hours later.
"Well", I said, turning to Kavan. "I think this is going to be lots of fun." He pulled out of the parking lot and I gave him directions to "my sister's apartment". I'd like to think that Kavan and I both were a bit giddy.
"This is so whore-ish", he said.
"Only if we do it right," I responded, laughing. ---
I opened the one bedroom apartment with my copy of Shannon's key. It was a typical "girls" apartment. Lot's of flowery designs, smelling of potpourri and featuring many photos of family and friends. I knew there was a framed picture of Shannon and I sitting on her dresser that might be the only give away to our relationship. As we headed to the bedroom, I picked it up from the dresser and showed it to him.
"This is my sister," I said.
"Wow, she's cute," he said.
"Well, I told her that I hated that picture because it made us look like we were dating and that I was an incestuous letch. She always says she thinks it's "beautiful" and tells me that modern society has warped families so much that they are afraid to show affection toward each other. I still think it makes us look like West Virginian brother-sister fucktards, but hey, I don't have to sleep here. She does."
Kavan never suspected that the photo of Shannon was not my sister and that, in fact, we WERE fucking. I went to the CD, turned on some music and moved toward Kavan and he started to laugh even before I touched him for the first time.
I walked straight up to Kavan and kissed him on the lips softly and slowly. Our lips stayed together until I slowly let my tongue wonder into his mouth. My arms wrapped around him -- one hand massaged the back of his neck as we kissed, the other hand grabbed firmly at his ass. I pushed his head closer in to me so I could feel every bone of his face pressed up against mine. For minutes and minutes we stood and kissed. We breathed the same air...
I kissed his ears and he kissed mine. I could here hear him breathing hard and felt his chest rise and fall against me, his heart pounded hard. I slipped my hand under the band of his front-tie baggy pants. To my surprise, he wasn't wearing any underwear, so it was easy access for my hands to feel the fleshy resistance of his tight ass. I kissed his neck as I moved my fingers to the edge of his ass crack. I slowly moved my fingers softly between the outside of his cheeks, simply hinting at the probing to come.
I brought my other hand down the back of his pants and now I had my two hands rubbing and massaging each cheek, taking care to spread them apart as part of the massage. A liked the feel of his two cheeks in my hands. They were hard, muscular and pressed back against my palms. He squeezed them together everyone once and a while and I'd grab even harder. He winced in pain and a bit of happiness when I dug my fingernails a bit into his cheeks so as to lay claim to them as mine. Slowly, my massaging hands crept closer together, meeting in the middle close his glory spot.
The buttocks rub soon became a simple hole massage, my two index fingers probing lightly around the soft outer surface of his asshole. I whispered to him, "I'm getting really hot for you. My cock is getting hot for you. My mouth is hot for you."
Kavan whispered something like a "yeah", but I can't be sure exactly what he said accept that it was a sound of desire and wanting more.
I removed one of my hands and pulled on his front string-tie on his pants, and with just a bit of help, they fell to feet and his cock popped out from between his legs. I pushed my arms up under his shirt and brought it up and over head. And he was quickly spared the rigors of his clothing and was naked in front of me except for his shoes and socks -- his pants down about his ankles. I looked at him before me; I wanted a look at his cock. His cock was average size, a bit thicker than normal, surrounded by tufts are very light brown, almost blonde hair. I hint of the hair rose up from his crotch and disappeared into nothing as it reached his belly button. His thighs were covered in light, angelic wisps of hair. His hips were thin, very boyish. His belly was flat - not ripped -- by flat and inviting. I pushed him hard backwards. His knees buckled, and he toppled down atop the flowery comforter of my girlfriend's bed.
I approached him and lifted one of his legs dangling over the bed and removed his sneakers, socks and pants from around his ankles. I took his foot to my mouth and began to kiss it. I kissed his toes and the arch of his foot. I licked slowly up the length of the arch five or six times and he moaned loader each time. I worked my tongue between each toe and licked. The smell and taste of salt and sweat was sweet and exhilarating. I took my time with each of his feet. Honoring each toe and foot - cleaning them thoroughly as he twisted from side to side in the pangs of expectation that often accompany new places of pleasure.
Kavan's eyes were closed as I licked up the inside of his legs and behind his knee. I pushed him back a bit on the bed as my face and lips moved up his thighs. I could feel the fine hairs of his legs as they brushed against my cheek and lips. He reached down to his cock, but I swished his hands away.
After a few minutes, I stood up and pulled him down toward the foot of the bed so that his legs were fully off the mattress and his ass was near the edge. I pushed his knees down toward his chest, opening his asshole before me. Kavan held his knees up at his chest as I knelt on the floor and moved my face toward the crack in his ass.
The long-built passion for another boy had grown inside me for so long inside me that I was impelled to do everything to find pleasure in his first-time experience with real gay sex. Obviously, such a taboo as this ass-licking sex act was off limits in the world of heterosexual suburban sex, so I could never contemplate such a thing with my girl Shannon, but damned if I wasn't going to take advantage of it right now with this beautiful butt within reach of my lips.
I could see how the hair from around his cock grew even lighter around his balls, but then darker again as it made its way toward the opening in his ass. I didn't touch his cock or balls, but moved to use my tongue to probe and lick his pink hole -- wetting it up with the juices produced from my eager, salivating mouth. Kavan grabbed hold of the bed sheets with both hands and shook his head from one side to the other as I ate out his ass. He was fill with ecstasy, and kept saying, "Oh, yeah Oh, Yeah" like the mantra of some sex-based religion over and over again. My tongue in his ass brought him to somewhere he had not been before, and I was gonna keep on driving.
I alternated between licking and probing with my tongue. As soon as Kavan seemed to relax to the rhythm of the gentle licking, I'd starting fucking him with tongue as hard as I could and then return to the soft caress of my tongue being dragged across the length of his crack. I spread his cheeks even wider with my hands so that I could French kiss his deep hole, involving my wet, warm lips, as well as just my tongue.
I soon replaced my tongue with one finger at first, wetted in my mouth and then with two, driving them into his tight ass as I went to work licking, biting, swallowing and shining his balls and cock. At first, Kavan's ball sack was taut against his crotch, but I took one ball at a time in my mouth and slowly stretched his sack out and away from his body. His bag began to sag down toward his ass, so I could now a turn licking up his crack and ending the stroke of my tongue at the heavy sack of balls.
I took his cock in my mouth and could taste the pre-cum. I put my lips to the tip of his cock and let the pre-cum cover my lips so they'd glisten. Then I'd pump my mouth a few times as far down on his shaft as I could... tasting him as much as I could. Kavan arched his back as I continued to take the head of his dick slowly in my mouth while my fingers still worked their magic inside of him.
Kavan wasn't going to last long at this pace so I took my fingers from his rear and stopped working his cock with my mouth and stood. I kicked of my sneakers and socks and dropped my pants and boxers, not bothering to take off my shirt. I climbed up onto the bed facing him, kneeling, one knee on either side of his chest and lowered my ass down onto his spit and pre-cum covered cock.
It had been a while since my ass had a real cock in it, so I took it slow. Recently, there were times in the shower or when masturbating that I'd finger my hole with one or two fingers - lubing up with soap or hand lotion. When I was in Connecticut for college, I used to have a dildo that I used when beating off, but now in NJ, it was my fingers or nothing. I sometimes fantasized that Shannon would surprise me one fine night with a strap-on and fuck me really, really hard, but of course that would always remain in the realm of fantasy.
But this was real, and was going to have a boys cock in my again and to my surprise, my ass offered little objection and I was right back where I was two or three years ago when slumming it on Friday and Saturday nights at clubs in NYC. Ending up riding some kid that was so fucking hot that it hurt, pretty much knowing it would end up in disaster.
Once my ass fully enveloped Kavan's cock, it was more than he could bear. He couldn't hold back and started cumming. Kavan bucked his cock up inside of me as hard as he could given his submissive position. "Ah, fuck" he yelled as his kept pumping his load in me. I grabbed my own cock, already straight up and hard, and started to jerk myself. Kavan saw me and grabbed hold of my dick too. We stroke it together slowly, and then I let go and it was just him now, pleasuring me. After just a few strokes, I started spewing my load, first up near his nips, and then a stronger gusher up to his hair, and a few more, smaller now, on his chest and belly. I collapsed.
Kavan's cock got small inside my ass as our lips lightly kissed and the sweat streamed down our faces. I looked up at his eyes and then beyond his eyes to the pictures above the bed. The pictures of Shannon -- curled up with her family's puppy in one and wearing an over-sized sweatshirt in another. I stopped kissing him and sat up. I was still breathing hard and my ass still tingled with post-fuck electricity, but I couldn't be in this room anymore.
I started getting dressed and Kavan, not knowing what else to do, was a bit embarrassed to lay their naked, so he started dressing too. I wanted out of that room and I wanted away from Kavan, too. No matter how much I knew that I should slow down and shoot the shit with Kavan for an hour or so and have some post-fuck laughs, I just couldn't do it. I was wired that way. Typical fucked up me. Wanting so much of people and giving so little in return. I could feel my insides, my feelings closing down, like the banks of lights at a football stadium being shut off one by one.
Once those switches started clicking off, my emotions would turn inward and the dark and empty side of me would emerge. With as much sincerity as I could muster, I at least tried to make things right for Kavan's "first time".
"Hey," I said, "Um, you know, I'm not much for small talk after sex, but you should know that, ah, you are really hot. One of the hottest I've been with." Click. Click.
Kavan smiled. Relieved and happier that I at least said something. "Yeah," I said, pretty much reading lines from a script I didn't even write, "you are one hot guy." Click. Click.
And with that, I shut down. Click.
"Hey, why don't I call you a bit later, after I clean this mess up," I said. Kavan took the hint and left as soon as he finished buttoning up.
I cleaned up for a few minutes, lit a scented candle to get rid of the smell of guy sex in the room. I sat with my own darkness for about an hour and instinctively picked up my cell phone. When it came time to dial, I couldn't even remember who I had wanted to call. Was I calling Kavan or Shannon?
I placed the phone back on my lap and brooded. Dark and darker still.
I flipped open the cover on the phone and dialed.
"Hi Sweetie," I said, "Why don't you come home early, I miss you. We'll have drinks here instead of going out, if you know what I mean. I'll be in bed waiting for you when you get here".
I got up and had a beer. Thinking.
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