Tom Browning's Schooldays

Tom Browning's Schooldays

By

Joel

Chapter SixtyOne

The comment on the first use of the water closet set us off in giggles which only stopped when Benjy said he had news to impart. Constable Rogers had at last announced he was leaving the village and all were agog about who might be appointed the next Constable. There was news that the horse thieves had already been sentenced at Lincoln Assizes and all three would be transported for seven years. The thieving rogue who had led Liam and Niall astray was for sentencing next week. It was thought he might get seven years hard labour in the first instance but he was also wanted by at least three other authorities for crimes committed there. We had to explain to Cedric all the misdemeanours we knew of. "My father says a good flogging never did any harm and there's more could be hanged to warn the rest." Cedric shook his head. "I do not know but the fear of hanging does not seem to deter those who do offend."

"My father says too many are led into crime because of want and not through evil intent," Benjy said. "The Rector knows this and has set many on a better path when he has had to judge them. There's that lad Colly Potterton who stole those beets and old farmer Croughton made a real song and dance though the family was starving." He looked at me. "The Reverend told the old skinflint to take the lad on as a groom and pay him a wage and he ain't offended since." I thought of Liam and Niall and the way my uncle had handled their case. They were good lads who had taken a wrong path because of little fault of their own.

Cedric was ruminating on this. "How does one make right judgements?"

"Sir, with the magistrates being gentry and those accused being of a lower station what can one say," Benjy said quite vehemently. "My father has a pamphlet telling of those countrymen who were deported for making a union against the wishes of their masters. They were tried by the magistrates who were gentry but there was an outcry and they were pardoned."

"I have not heard of that," averred Cedric. "What is a union?"

"My father says 'tis when men band together where there is dissent about work and wages. He says there is always dissent about a fair wage and he foresees with all the new trades taking men off the land there will be more and more need for them."

This was also new to me. I did not know of any dissent amongst our workers though I had heard of the Chartist agitation north in Lancashire and I remembered my father speaking of their great petition presented to Parliament most recently. My father always said he tried to pay men for the work they did even when the weather was bad or crops were poor as they had been of late. He had said he was better off than many as he dealt in horseflesh rather than corn and there was always work to be done around the stables. Perhaps I might ask in Mr Ridley's class about such things, but then, all my schoolfellows were the sons of gentry if not the aristocracy.

"I do not know enough to make a judgement on such a matter," Cedric said. "I do know that dissent in the Navy can lead to mutiny and that endangers all. My father says there is always a troublemaker or two in any crew. What troubles there may be I am not sure but from his stories they would seem to be from lack of good water, when rations are scarce, or not enough grog!"

I must say I was more interested at this time with the workings of my new jakes. Although all the woodwork had not been completed it looked most handsome. The other's attention was also switched as I went and inspected the pan with its well-carved seat which could be lifted up against a hinge.

Benjy laughed when he saw me hold up the seat and lower it again. "Master Tom, Mr Goodhew said boys must be instructed to lift the seat so as not to miss the pan. He said not to drop it heavily or the pan would be cracked. There has been one calamity already but there was one pan left over so all are ready but for two to be joined to the pipes flowing out."

"I hope my father will be instructed in careful use," I said screwing up my nose. "He has the habit of dropping things."

Cedric was amused. "Who will be his mentor? I would not wish to be near when he is told to take care." He patted me on the back. "I propose you, Tom, with your silver tongue and good manners; who could be better?"

"He is likely to put my head in the pan to see if clears the dirt from behind my ears he always says is there. No, it will have to be cousin Lancelot." I put my hand on the lever again and a second torrent cascaded down and disappeared. I was somewhat puzzled. Where did the water come from?

Benjy said there were three metal cisterns in the loft space and a pump below to raise water to them. Steven Goodhew had arranged a pump with a wheel which would be turned sufficient times each morning to fill the cisterns. As Benjy had pumped the bellows for the organ in the church he was able to tell us that the signal for each cistern was the same. There was a 'mouse' on a cord which rose as the cistern emptied and fell when it was filled so whoever turned the wheel would be primed.

Although there had been pastries at the Goodhews I was hungry, for it was more than time for luncheon. Benjy said if we went down to the breakfast room he would be ready to serve us. There was but cold meats with fresh bread and a sharp and tasty pickle but all gaps were soon filled. Benjy said my father had gone direct to the stables and Lancelot was resting in the parlour. We went to disturb him and he was not pleased that we had been first to use the water closets upstairs.

"No one told me they were finished," he grumbled, "I made do with that stinking hole outside. I think my stomach is now behaving itself but I will avail myself of their comfort before long."

Benjy said he would not be disturbed if he was accommodated in the room next to mine. The floor had been replaced. I did not say that the drawing found there had not been replaced but nestled safely in the drawer of my table. Benjy went on to explain that a room on the ground floor towards the side door would be partitioned off to provide another water closet and that would be completed before the summer was out. That would be useful for visitors, here he allowed himself a smile, and those who would otherwise have to brave the inconvenience of such as the privy outside. We knew he meant the indoor servants and, no doubt, there would be strict and enforced instructions on usage.

After leaving Lancelot to his silent contemplation and the tankard of soothing posset he had by him, Cedric and I went back to my bedroom where we found all our bags and chests had now been brought up. I was in a quandary. I had only a few hours to unpack and repack those things necessary to take to school. I rang the bell and Benjy reappeared. With his help, and Cedric's interference, I was certain I had everything I needed. There was no need to be concerned about too many bags as we would be returning to Ashbourne by coach as well as riding our steeds.

Benjy had just made a neat pile of the clothing that needed laundering, including those nightshirts, when Robin and Freddy returned from the visit to the Goodhews. First, they had to be introduced to the Careby Hall water closets. At least, to the one which Robin would be sharing with me! However they were more anxious to deal with getting themselves ready for the departure in the morning than in exploring where water came from and where it went! As both Freddy and Cedric needed their chests and bags to be in the room they would share for the night the twins were summoned from the kitchen and helped Benjy to haul all their baggage there.

Freddy was troubled as he had presents for his grandfather but there was no time to visit him. All the commotion must have disturbed Lancelot for in no time he came upstairs to investigate. Freddy was much happier after Lancelot said he would be visiting Moss Hall on Friday to find out how Colonel Neville was progressing. He would take any parcels with him. Freddy asked me for a piece of paper and wrote a most elegant letter to the Colonel saying how much he had seen and enjoyed about his visit. I remembered I had a present for Liam and asked Benjy to deliver it. It was a packet of three handkerchiefs which had an embroidered L in a corner. I added a small box of bonbons to that which he could share with Philip and James though I knew they were not wanting of their own supplies.

Robin was now busy making his own chest and saddle bags ready for the journey. His mother had given him two new shirts which he said were too good for the rough and tumble of school and would place them with his very best clothes in my large cupboard. I said that with our new tail suits we should be good for the County Ball. Benjy squashed that by reminding us that the Ball occurred in September and we would be at school. He had been most impressed, though, as he hung them carefully in the cupboard. Of course my flute and box of remedies would also have to be packed. Lancelot had brought back a number of bottles from the Apothecary's Hall, including oil of cloves and newer tinctures of ipecacuanha, arnica and senna, so had replenished my dwindling stocks while in London. At last we were satisfied and just sorted two or three books to take to Ashbourne to read on hot summer afternoons as Robin laughingly said.

One of the twins came to inform us there was a dish of tea and pastries ready in the breakfast room. We had been busy so had not noticed how swiftly time had passed. Cedric and Freddy were collected and we joined a much-recovered Lancelot who had a small pile of letters in front of him. He said he had sent a boy to the Rectory to tell Mr Simpson he would stay at Careby Hall until his parents arrived back from London.

"I must visit several of my patients the next few days or I will have no money," Lancelot said ruefully but then smiled. "There is a request for a visit to a new tenant at the house at Wilsthorpe. It is from a Lady Benedict, a name which sounds a little foreign. The house was a rather grand hunting lodge belonging to a Lord who lost everything at the gaming table and it has stood empty since I was a boy." He looked at Freddy. "I will attend her on Friday on my way to see your grandfather as well as another patient at Essendine."

"Thank you, sir, for being so kind about taking my parcel to him," said Freddy. "If I may return here before I go to my home in the summer I might visit him then."

Lancelot smiled at him. "No doubt that can be arranged and we can find a way of conveying you to Ipswich. I will deal with that with my mother and Mr Browning."

Lancelot held up another letter. "Tom and Robin, this is of interest to you. That lad Timmy is still in Cambridge. As you know he has been lodging with Mr Mead's brother there. The news is that Mr Mead is willing to take him as an apprentice when he is fifteen and would train him as an apothecary. He praises him for his knowledge already and says he has a grand collection of plants ready from the Botanic Garden." He laughed. "It just requires me to travel to Cambridge to collect him and the plants but I can also visit St Mark's about another business." He did not say 'head' but the way he smiled at us I knew he would be getting funds for the journey.

Robin looked so pleased that Timmy would be well-settled if he entered that profession. "There would be the matter of the premium for his indenture," Robin said, "Who would be responsible?"

Lancelot looked rather pensive. "He has no kin as far as we know but he has been ill- treated by a member of a certain family and no doubt certain amends might be made." He smiled. "I think my mother will deal with that, too."

I followed him up the staircase and went with him to the room next to ours. I said my father had questioned me about the journey to France and we would both wish to accompany him if it were possible. He said he had every intention to take Robin and me but would need more information about the whereabouts of the town of Riom and the chateau where the Duc had lived. His friend in Paris was making enquiries but did not know the conditions of the roads and inns in that area. To his gratification I told him about the Johnsons and that as they lived in or near Calais Mr Johnson might be a useful person to make contact. I said I knew he had extensive interests in that part of France. I copied out what I remembered of their address but would confirm it as soon as I had opportunity to see them at school. He said he would make contact as soon as he heard from me.

Our dinner that night was more than adequate. We joined my father and Lancelot who both spent most of the dinner recalling the wedding and how they both preferred the country for living. I did venture to ask my father if he approved of our new water closets. He laughed and said he would await judgement until my mother was home. He winked and did say that a gentleman could smoke and read a newsheet while... He never finished that sentence as Mr Clements entered and was most agitated. There was another fire in the village and cousin Lancelot was needed as two children were gasping for breath and the mother had burned her hands.

Lancelot bid us goodnight and, in case he was not present in the morning, wished us a safe journey.

My father said we three older boys could partake of a glass of port to keep him company. Cedric had a pipe as well but Freddy was soon yawning and Benjy was summoned to see him to bed. We were told the coach would be ready to leave by nine in the morning. Peters would be driving with one of the stablelads promoted to assistant coachman.

Before retiring to bed we checked that all was packed ready for the morning and I made sure I had the letter Rosamund had given me from Geoffrey Lascelles for his brother was safely placed in my saddle-bag.

Morning came too soon as I was awakened just as I was experiencing a most pleasurable dream. To be honest it was not a moment too soon as I rushed to the new closet and relieved myself of what would have starched a second nightshirt! Washed and dressed in my riding britches I was ready for breakfast and hurried poor Robin who seemed rather a sleepyhead that morning. True, he had delivered himself of two outpourings the night before to one of mine so could be a mite forgiven.

At breakfast Cedric grumbled at the haste of leaving London and now rushing to school but Freddy said he was looking forward to regaling Lawson and his other friends with all his adventures. I hoped he would not include how he made his wish to visit London but I knew that would be a secret not to be shared!

All our baggage had been loaded on the coach as we said farewell to my father who in his generous way provided each of us four with a sovereign with the stricture that we should not spend it all in the first tavern we passed. Robin mouthed 'The Varley Arms' and got the beginnings of a clump on the side of his head which he skilfully dodged. Both Cedric and Freddy thanked my father most politely and were told they might visit again but not too soon. I think Freddy was puzzling over that for a time. I was sure he was not used to banter from adults.

Again we had the use of the Westrup coach. Two of the wheelwrights had been making sure it was roadworthy and we had a new set of four matched geldings to draw it. Our own mounts were brought by Bobby and another lad and all looked in fine fettle. I stroked Blaze's muzzle and he responded with quiet snuffles and seemed well-pleased to be reacquainted with his master. My father looked each over and said he was pleased with their care. I did have the chance to tell Bobby that Jabez sent his greetings which I think pleased him as much as the praise from my father.

We set off before the church clock chimed nine and made very good progress right up to lunch time where we stopped at what looked a reasonable inn. Cedric joshed Freddy and said it was here he should spend his sovereign and he would have a quart of best ale as his share. Good-hearted Freddy was ready to grant that request but was told that the sovereign should be used for his friends at school though he persisted and strode to the bar with coins passed to him by Cedric. I almost said that sovereign could be my fee for circumcising Lawson the Philistine but then remembered it was Freddy who wanted to be Goliath.

We took in turns acting as coachmen with Freddy resting in the coach when he said he was saddle-sore. We had told him it was no inadequacy on his part if he felt he had ridden enough. At least Robin and I were used to being in the saddle for many hours and even Cedric took some comfort from the softer furnishings of the coach than the harder leather saddle for an hour or so. It meant my liniment made the rounds that evening and the next in the inns we stayed at. As usual we made Freddy squeal as he was tickled before he cheekily, the second night, caught Cedric unawares as he was pulling his nightshirt over his head and slapped his bare arse. "Remember the cannibals," Robin said. We then had to tell Freddy about Cedric's threat to eat Jabez. He was much amused and I think Lawson, Paulson, Pilbrow or Pritchard would be for the pot in another enactment!

Natty said he was pleased to be returning to Ashbourne and was most eloquent about his return visit to London. No doubt the others in the stables would hear how he actually stood inside St Paul's Cathedral and a Duchess had given him a sweetmeat. I did say it was a present from the Duchess though she had given it with others to the boys at the Wedding Breakfast. He said he had peeked in while we were sitting there and one of the servers had given him a tartlet and had stroked his cheek and said he was a fine fellow in his livery. He said he did not know why he stroked his cheek as he was sure he didn't have any smudges there.

We arrived without incident at Ashbourne just before midday on Saturday. I thanked Peters and the stable-lad and was told they would be returning on Sunday morning after the horses were rested but would make their way back via Melton Mowbray. There they had to collect a selection of cheeses which had been ordered by the housekeeper, Mrs Clements. Peters said he was not unhappy missing the festivities in Careby that night but I gave him a half-sovereign which he said would cheer his journey home and he would see that John Freeman, the stable-lad he had with him, would not miss out.

We took Freddy to Matron at Mr Pretyman's part of the House. She fussed over him and as we left he was busily telling her about his time in London. Branscombe, for we now had to refer to him by his surname, remarked that Freddy was a delightful lad and he had enjoyed his company though he hoped he would spread no tales. Robin said he was sure he would not but would keep knowledge of silver rings locked away in his heart. "Goodhew," he said with mock sternness, "I command you to make no mention of any happenings, especially..." He stopped then as Robin held up his right hand and started counted off his fingers. I forbore from saying anything as he reached four when I could only think of two. Cod-kissing and spontaneous spurting!

Neither George nor Theo were in our room. I had remembered to put the lace with the key on it round my neck so had placed my saddle-bags by my truckle-bed and sat and waited until the boys brought up my chest. Japhet imparted the news that Crowcroft of Prior's House had not returned as he was gravely ill and three others were already in the Sick Room with the chicken-pox. Cheerful news to return to! I did learn that all in our House seemed to be in rude health. When they left I quickly unpacked my school clothes and went down to the washroom to rid myself of the dirt of the journey. Young Potts was there stoking the fires under the coppers for there was to be football that afternoon though some fellows had wanted to start playing cricket. The good hot water soon cleansed me and as I washed both Branscombe and Robin came in and made their ablutions. "Luncheon soon," said Branscombe as he combed through his damp hair and then patted his belly.

Both George and Theo were back from classes and in the room when I returned there. I was bundled onto the bed and given a mock thrashing with the toasting-fork for not arriving back to school on the proper day. After making enough noise to please them I was told I would be questioned after their hunger, or more importantly, George's need for sustenance was satisfied. I did hand George the missive from his brother but even that did not prevent him from demanding I pay him the postage he was sure his brother had given me to place the letter in the mail. He was sure it would have reached him at least two days ago if I had done so. I said if he abused me I would not tell him about his brother and my cousin Rosamund, who had given me it, and would write to her and say she should keep clear of such a family of ruffians. I immediately feared it was a wrong thing to say as Black Jack was kin to George. However, he just laughed and said his ancestors were well-known for their feuds and fights and had a great reputation for increasing their land by marrying off their sons to the daughters of the defeated. I then said I was sure another courtship was in progress but Rosamund was certainly not from a vanquished family. Theo interrupted to say that if we did not go down to luncheon George would be vanquished on the football field through weakness from lack of food.

I was led down the stairs by a laughing George who had now discerned the rather cryptic comments in the letter he had received to how welcomed Geoffrey had been into the Wright household and hoped it might continue. "So you think Geoffrey is hooked?" he asked as we passed Pullen's empty abode. I said the signs I had noted were like those of a poor trout being taken by a good bait. I forbore from saying 'fat worm' as that would cast an aspersion on my lovable cousin Rosamund. George laughed even more and said he was glad the old bugger would be well-settled.

At table I was welcomed quite effusively by several of the older fellows who already were listening to Robin and Branscombe recounting the sights in the Cathedral. Two of them had seen the announcement in the newspaper and others wished to know if there were any more sisters available for unattached older brothers but Branscombe said it was enough having one brother-in-law and a nephew in school without any more. Branscombe winked at George but didn't mention his brother and my cousin.

What I had not been apprised of was the Sing-Song to be held tonight as the first Saturday of term. It was no matter for both Robin and I could repeat enough of the melodies we already knew which always drew applause. Angus Gordon said he would be ready to repeat the Sword Dance with Farquar if we would accompany them. That was readily agreed.

Almost all the older fellows were to play in the football match against Carstairs' House and Robin said he would join in. He was clapped on the back by George who said he would see he would not need the ministrations of the physician, meaning me, but I had to be ready as no doubt with the Carstairs' yahoos in full pursuit some would need treatment.

Aubrey Bayes said he was to have an extra lesson in mathematics with Mr Dimbleby and I asked if I might accompany him to their house as I thought I would speak to Mrs Dimbleby about Freddy Neville. As we walked to the house I said how much I had enjoyed meeting him on the visit to London and seeing the Museum. He said his father was most impressed with my cousin Lancelot and was certain the invention would work. I asked about the telegraph and he smiled and said all things were ready and he had improved on the device he and Robin would be assembling.

At the house I asked the manservant if I might speak with Mrs Dimbleby. She most graciously received me and there was an immediate dish of tea and a slice of cake before I had even a chance to broach the subject of Freddy. I had also to tell her of Philip Goodhew's acceptance at the Royal Schools of Art. Which one to start with?

As she had almost finished the tapestry I admired that and so was able to tell her about Philip. She said she had received a letter from my aunt Lady Digby Wright telling her the news but I was able to give more detail of what Philip had told us of his interview with Mr Eastlake. She said she was most gratified that the lad had been accepted as her son Edgar often wished he had been accepted there but had travelled instead to Italy for instruction.

She was even more intrigued about Freddy Neville. I did say there seemed to be almost a rift between him and his mother but he was showing great promise even though self- taught. She asked if I would be prepared to be with him when she heard him play and that tomorrow at three in the afternoon would be most suitable. She would send a note to Mr Pretyman. She asked if I would like to play to her now. I was a little hesitant as I had not played even while at my Aunt Fanny's in London. However I tried another of Wolfgang Mozart's Sonatas I had been instructed on by Aunt Dodd and Mrs Dimbleby nodded as I came to the end of the first movement. "You would be most proficient with more practice," was her comment. She said she was quite willing to give me lessons if I wished for it kept her busy. I did not demur even though I knew I would have to find time to squeeze another activity into my daily, nay, weekly life! She said it would be convenient if I escorted Freddy Neville and over an hour or so we could both be heard and commented upon.

By the time I left and reached the path which led back to Ridley House and also the playing field there was much raucous shouting from the spectators of the various football games being played. The greatest noise though was from those watching the battle between Ridley's and Carstairs'. I wandered nearer and wondered how rational human beings could subject themselves to being kicked, hurled about, pummelled and immersed in the mud which was most evident after the turf had been wantonly destroyed from their flailing boots. The ground had not been helped by the downpour during the night before which, mercifully, had stopped for our last part of the journey.

I saw, or think I saw, a very muddied Robin, though from a distance it could have been any one of the half dozen or so emerging from the latest scrimmage. I did see George who gave the heavy leather ball a mighty kick which set off a run of those not thrashing around in the mud. "Up! Up!" was the general cry. I did the opposite and went down to the lane leading to the village and Mrs Williams' shop. I knew that everyone was fond of her gingerbread so I bought six good slices of that as well as several good-sized pastries. These would be my contribution to the festivities after the Sing-Song. Japhet was helping his mother serve as there were a number from other Houses wanting supplies for the evening. He said he had instruction from Master Lascelles to collect sausages from Mr Thacker's butcher's shop and to have them cooked ready for when the Sing-Song was over. Good!

As I returned to Ridley House so the games were ending. I watched as the various groups left to go to their Houses and grinned to myself as the most bedraggled and muddied crew staggered towards our washroom. I heard Collett shouting that he needed the hottest water for he had landed in a cow pat. This must have been deposited by one of the herd allowed onto the field to graze while we we away on the Easter holiday. Radcliffe was a more than muddied sight and in a predicament as half of his football drawers had been torn away and he was clutching them to preserve his modesty. I grinned even more at that as Radcliffe usually showed no modesty with the size of that more than boyish peg of his! Robin and Maitland brought up the rear of the pack and it was a marvel that either could see where they were trudging as both had faces covered in mud. I did not follow but heard one call out it had been a fine game and there had been a draw, so neither team had won. That would mean another skirmish between these modern knights!

The door to the stairs was open and a snoring Pullen was sprawled in his chair with a pint pot of some concoction near at hand. If only I had that box of paints I would have willingly pulled down his undone britches and coloured his pizzle green or blue. I shook my head. Here was our supposed guard drunk and quite incapable!

I deposited my purchases in the cupboard in our room and retrieved my apothecary's box from my chest as well as my flute. I put the flute together and played a few of the tunes we would be asked for this evening and was just finishing 'The Hunt Was Up' when Theo returned. He had been to see his friend in Prior's House, who also came from Peterborough, and needed help with some Greek which he had been set for the holiday but had neglected to deal with. He said his holiday from school had been uneventful though his brother, the curate, was home and said he should make sure he didn't make the Church his career as there was a shortage of good livings and little preferment. He was glad he had one more year at school as that would give him time to consider this future. "I am undecided whether to go to Oxford which my father says he would prefer as he has had to take action over Statutes and Regulations at Cambridge. This has upset, as you can imagine, some of the colleges who seem also to be at war with the townspeople at the best of times."

I said I would, no doubt, be destined for Cambridge because of the connections with my family. Theo was interested to learn that my cousin, Erasmus, was to be a Fellow at St Mark's.

"My father is quite open about that college as my brother Percy studied Law there," Theo said with a grin. "There is no confidence broken if I tell you my father thinks highly of some of the Fellows though as Visitor to the college he has had to arbitrate over several disputes over the last year or so. I heard him complaining to Percy, who has also been visiting us, that some Fellows should look to their studies rather than their gullets and bellies."

I told him of my cousin's comments about the stoutness of one deceased Fellow. He laughed and said he had heard the story, too.

"All being said," he continued, "They have a mighty cellar and my father has been appeased more than once by a gift of a case of best claret or madeira. He says that does not influence his judgements but helps him meditate upon the right outcome!"

I wondered if I should mention the possible journey to France but Theo was in full flow.

"St Mark's has another recommendation so father says and that is a grand liqueur which they call St Mark's Fire. It is something a Frenchman taught them to make and both father and Percy praise it most highly. It is only brought out on special occasions and Percy says though he only tasted it once its memory lingers with him still."

Perhaps I might tell him about my cousin's involvement with its future distillation but that would have to be at another time as the usual commotion of returning warriors could be heard. The door was flung open and a rather battered and somewhat bloodied George came limping in. Both Theo and I stood and Theo pushed a chair towards him. I could see then that the blood was dried on his eyebrow and nose and the damage seemed slight. He was followed in by at least four others until the room was crowded. I saw Robin with a redness around one eye which would soon turn black. Maitland was holding his left wrist and Angus Gordon his jaw. The burly figure of Preston almost blocked the door and he was laughing.

"These poor souls need the physician," he bellowed, "I fear there are more below with Radcliffe and Pattinson clutching parts which are unmentionable!"

"You are not wounded?" enquired Theo of him.

"No, my dear fellow, I am made of sterner stuff," Preston said beating his chest.

I saw George was wincing, not only at Preston's demonstration but for something which was troubling him.

I opened my box which I had placed on the bed to be easy of access. "Where are you hurting?" I asked George.

"All over," he muttered, then louder, "My leg. Let me lower my britches."

There was a respectful silence as George stood and undid the garment which fell to his knees. My, his thigh was most bruised! I had the pot of arnica opened and rapidly brushed the cooling liquid over the redness. He sighed as the sting diminished.

"Now my elbow, please," he said holding up his arm and doffing, with some difficulty the Norfolk jacket he was wearing. He pulled up the sleeve of his shirt and another bruised appendage was displayed. More arnica was applied and he sat again and watched as I went the rounds of the other afflicted. All were bruised in various places with Lawson Major displaying his rump where a Carstairs' boot had made its mark much to the amusement of his fellows. Gordon's jaw was reddened also from a boot but his teeth seemed sound though there were strange Scotch imprecations about the future mischiefs which would befall the ruffians of Carstairs' House during the next game. In all I think I tended another eight or so who displayed bruised limbs, buttocks, backs or ribs as one left and another came forward

It was then two forlorn victims of the contest appeared. Neither Radcliffe nor Pattinson had bothered to don their britches but were attired in just their shirts, underclouts, stockings and boots. Both had mournful visages. Both asked that the room be cleared. Other than George, Theo and myself this request was complied with but not before grateful thanks were given to me for my aid to the others in the general suffering!

As the door closed so underclouts were lowered and both the young gentlemen displayed reddened and bruised ballocks. Pattinson was almost in tears and Theo put an arm round him. I did not know him well but he was around my age and was fag for a pair on the floor below. I racked my poor brain about what one could do. A cold compress seemed to be the best answer and soon the pair were holding washcloths against their injured ballsacks. These cloths had been plunged into the pan of cold water kept ready for the kettle and wrung out until just damp. The coldness must have been easeful for though they were not smiling they were most grateful. This action was repeated and while the coolness reduced the aches so we heard from the trio that there was now open warfare between Ridley House and Carstairs' House as there had been deliberate attempts, nay, more than attempts, at injury to decide a win.

"Did you not inflict equal hurts on the others?" Theo enquired.

George smiled and nodded. "I made sure one ball I kicked towards the end of the game felled Villiers. A clear shot to his cods and he was writhing in the mud and swore he would geld whoever did it. He did not know I delivered that reply to the knee he jabbed into Radcliffe's tender parts. Eh, young fellow?"

Radcliffe did smile then. "I am most grateful to you for that. Villiers is too big a fellow for me to tackle. I was on the ground when that ball hit him and I did not see its provenance. I would take care he does not find out."

"He received what he deserved and I saw two others from that House clutching their privy parts after some rough blows they'd inflicted on our men." George shook his head. "We must take great care for our rematch. There will be more ills for you to cure, my lad."

This last was directed at me. I was surveying my box. As long as it was only bruises and perhaps cuts I could cope. If bones were damaged, or even broken, I would not be able to help. Dr Dimbleby or a bone-setter from Ashbourne would have to be called in for their expertise.

Theo must have echoed my thoughts. "George, you and others who have some authority must make proper rules," he said. "What I observed as I came back from Prior's House would seem just to be a free for all with whosoever was nearest to the ball being kicked or hit without any thought to consequences. It was not just boisterousness but deliberate hurt was being delivered. That is not a game."

"That is so," Pattinson said quietly, "I was following Preston and Gordon when someone I did not see hit me square down below. There was no need for I was not in the way of the ball nor hindering any of their players."

George was looking pensive. "If we raised this issue of making proper rules would not we be accused of being cowards frightened by more able players?"

"You must talk to others. Preston is most sensible as is Gordon and they could not be labelled as cowards by any," said Theo with authority of his own. "You must say who should follow the ball and what is an obstruction to that following. Deliberate injury to others is something to be banned as it is a foul thing and that could be called a form of cowardice."

George was nodding. "Theo, as ever you have such good sense. 'Tis a pity you do not play..."

"...But I have observed and can make suggestions without prejudice I am sure. I could be of assistance if required."

I said that sounded to be a good scheme and from what was said by fellows as I dealt with them it would seem that most were struck or kicked when away from the ball. Buckingham had been most vehement in his condemnation of whoever had kicked his backside for no seeming reason. Both Radcliffe and Pattinson agreed with me and after my examination of two still bruised but less tender ballsacks they left to apply their own cooling washcloths in their own rooms.

With just we three now left in the room I retrieved the package of gingerbread and with grateful thanks from Theo and an ever-hungry George enjoyed a slice each.

As we ate so we also chewed over Theo's suggestion and decided a conference should be called to decide on a set of rules which could be adopted without penalising any good player. One person to appeal to would be Winstanley as Head Praepostor but he had been absent today as he was attending the funeral of a grandparent somewhere in Worcestershire so George said.

We had just concluded our discussion and were just passing to contemplation of the evening's Sing-Song when a rap on the door revealed a worried looking Ham who had three strangers behind him. They were a sorry sight. Of course, they were members of Carstairs' House and unknown to me but not to George and Theo.

The biggest and tallest had his hand clutching his chin and showed that both eyes had been blackened. The second was wincing and holding the left side of his chest. The third was someone I did then recognise. It was Graves from Mr Ridley's class. He was holding his spectacles for his nose was rather bloody as was his left ear. That was not all for he also seemed to have hurt his ribs.

Graves did smile when he saw me. He was the spokesman as Ham stood back. "We beg your pardon, gentlemen, but we crave attention to injuries. We have heard nothing but praise of friend Browning and ask if he might treat us as he has dealt with Lawson and Gordon who are mended enough to be hurrying to Mrs Williams' shop."

George was ready. "Well, Graves, this is an imposition but if Master Browning is willing no doubt he can practise his arts on you. What say you, Tom?"

"A physician must never refuse to treat," I said with a smile towards Graves who I had found to be a most admirable fellow in those classes. Graves was first. I had a pot of a salve which Lancelot said would staunch any minor cut or cover an abrasion. I used one of the small wooden slivers to apply that both to the side of his nose and to his ear. I asked the tall one, who I found was named Allenby, to sit as he said his teeth might have been loosened . I pushed on the three he indicated but all seemed firm so I put a drop of the poppy juice tincture on each and said if they still ached on Monday he should see Dr Dimbleby. I said there was nothing I could do about black eyes and he said he would carry those bravely. It was ribs next and I asked if they would remove their shirts. This they did with help from Theo. Both had red patches more or less in the same place. They did not complain when I pressed on their ribs so I concluded they were not cracked. Again arnica was my receipt for the possible bruising. All were most grateful and asked my fee.

I was very bold. I said I wished for no fee but to see a game of football which did not provide so many bruises, abrasions and, here I was quite forthright, blows to the cods which could be most damaging. Three heads nodded in agreement.

"Villiers is on his bed holding his," said the third one, Broughton, I think. "He swears he will not play again and he is our most stalwart defender of the goal."

"If I may I will accompany you and suggest something for that particular hurt." I said this quite deliberately as I was annoyed with George though I was sure he had thought 'an eye for an eye', or more correctly, 'a ballsack for a ballsack'. Lancelot had told me of permanent damage to those parts which could not be reversed as he had treated a herdsman who had been ruined when a bull had butted the fellow suddenly. Lancelot said he could not have more children though he already had five.

George was contrite. He did not confess his action but said I should go and treat Villiers as I had Radcliffe and Pattinson. I put a bottle of arnica and others of poppy juice and oil of cloves in my jacket pocket together with some of the wooden slips and the salve in case other ills needed treatment.

It was a short walk to Carstairs' House and I was looked at closely by several of the members as I was led through a comfortable-looking room with good easy chairs. I noted that some of those seated had red marks on cheeks or jaws. It had been a bruising occasion for all! Graves took me along to a room on the lower floor and rapped on the door. It was opened by a lad I took to be one of the fags. He said immediately that Villiers was hurt and was groaning. There were two others sitting by the bed where Villiers was lying. They stood as I entered. One was Baring who smiled when he saw me. I bowed my head as he was much more senior that I.

"Browning, my friend," he said with a smile which set me at my ease, "You have come at an opportune moment. Villiers needs assistance of an expert physician and you have a reputation."

I smiled back and shook my head. "I will assist to the best of my meagre knowledge."

There was a groan from the bed and I saw that Villiers was without shirt and britches and had a towel across his midriff. I went over to him. He was of an age with Baring. I believe he was in the Sixth Form, too. He had a fine fair beard and moustaches and his hair was quite tousled and there had been a trickle of blood from a cut on his brow.

"What can you do, young sir?" he said quietly, "I have a bloodied brow and my balls are on fire!"

At least he was most forthright. "May I examine you and make suggestions?" I said also quietly.

He waved a hand at the others in the room. "Go, please, except you Graves, if you will." There was a general exodus and as the door closed I first removed the towel. If I thought Branscombe had a fine set of ballocks then Villiers beat him handsomely. However there was no silver ring but a general redness especially on his left one which seemed to be swollen as well.

I turned to Graves. "I would suggest a cold compress. Is there a washcloth and some cold water here?"

Both were readily available so I dipped the cloth and wrung it out and placed it under and around the sore organs. Villiers sighed. "That feels eased already."

I said he should have the compress changed as soon as the dampness was warmed. I warned him that he should consult Dr Dimbleby if there was blood at any time. I knew that from what Lancelot had told me about the herdsman. I had surmised he meant not when he pissed but in an emission. Could I say more? I just said I did not mean when he passed water and Graves gave a snort. I then picked up a second washcloth and found the damage to his brow was slight. I put a little of Lancelot's salve on that hurt. I stood back and then changed the washcloth round his cods. Villiers put out a hand and took mine.

"You are a most competent physician. Much more than the old dodderer we have from Cambridge. I thank you most sincerely and tell Lascelles I forgive him kicking the ball. I had lost my temper and gave that other lad a blow which I regretted immediately." He squeezed my hand. "Did Lascelles send you?"

"No, I came of my own accord," I said quite firmly. "However, I am concerned over the number injured today. I did not observe the game but it seemed to have been more of a prize-fight than a recreation."

He gave a grunt and squeezed my hand again. "I agree and we must not let tempers fray when our Houses meet again."

I freed my hand and removed the washcloth and made it cold again.

"There is a need for rules of fair play," said Graves before I could repeat what Theo had advocated.

"That is also what Theo Davis has said," I averred. "He has suggested a meeting of like minds."

Villiers gave a laugh and winced. "He is a son of his father. The Bishop has made peace in Cambridge more than once. My father has much admiration for him."

We talked on for a few more minutes and the compress was changed once again. He said he would be getting up as he felt quite relieved and there was but a dull ache in those parts now. My hand was shook and he said I would be rewarded in due time. I said there was no need. I did make bold to say that all these various hurts increased my own knowledge. "Especially of such special places," I said which caused both Villiers and Graves to guffaw.

As I took up my cloak so Villiers bid me adieu and said he would be at the Sing-Song and would enjoy my performance again. As Graves and I came out of the room there was a silent row of those who had been ousted earlier. Graves assured them that Villiers would live to fight another day, then said that fighting would be banned from the game if he had his way.

"I will talk to Davis as well," he said as he escorted me back to the door of Ridley House. "There is much to discuss." He shook his head as Pullen was looking even at this time of the day most bleary-eyed and did not even make a pretence of properly greeting us. "I do not know how Mr Ridley tolerates that creature. We have one poor fellow in Bartleby's room who is terrified whenever that fiend appears."

What could I say? I thanked him for keeping me company but he said I was the one to be acknowledged for my good help and he, too, would be at the Sing-Song and leading the cheers!

George, of course, wanted to hear of all that had transpired and I repeated both Villiers' and Graves' acknowledgements that things must be improved. As I had been missing so Theo had set the kettle against the fire and we had a beaker of tea each as I rehearsed all that had occurred. I think George was relieved after I said he was forgiven that Villiers had not repeated his threat to his manhood.

It was only later at dinner that evening when I was able to talk both to Robin and to Branscombe. Both had been joshed again over the wedding and their new relationship. I had a cheer from several when some wag announced I was not only an uncle but a brother-in-law and the three of us had to stand and bow much to everyone's amusement.

Branscombe had retired to bed after luncheon and had slept soundly until woken by the return of Maitland and Robin. Maitland said he was too lazy for his own good and would have relished such a good game. As neither Maitland nor Robin evinced any injuries I wondered how far back from the scrimmages they had been but I had seen the muddied state at least Robin had been in. Most of the talk then was of the Sing-Song to come and the comestibles which would be devoured after. Boys and their bellies!

It seemed not to matter how many songs and melodies were repeated from Sing-Song to Sing-Song they were all received with great acclaim. There were no newcomers to School for this term so all who had performed before were called forward. There were the customary cheers for our Whelps but the youngsters in Prior's House also caused great enjoyment when six of them sang a song we had not heard before called 'Hey Ho, the Morning Dew'. It was said to be an Irish song and Mr Prior accompanied them on the violin most dextrously with all sorts of added trills and swoops to colour the words such as 'O Mustard is my brother's dog, who whines and wags his tail'. This was a good addition to our general merriment which seemed to get more raucous as tankards were emptied. I heard Farquar say after he and Gordon had reaped great cheers for their sword dance that he had provided a 'bottle of grand whisky for the fellows in the Sixth'. I knew he would be joining that most illustrious form for the next year as he was destined for the university in Edinburgh when he left Ashbourne. Robin and I got good applause for our playing, and with Chapman the accordion player accompanying as well for all the other songs, everyone showed themselves most pleased. All came to an end with George leading the whole company in the round 'Great Tom is Cast'.

There was even more merriment after as a goodly number invaded our top floor of rooms and consumed a good variety of pies, pastries, sausages and cut meats with more draughts of ale or hot posset to wash them down.

So the third term of my first year at Ashbourne began. I had much to do and much to achieve. As I lay in bed that night I vowed to keep a record of my life. I hoped this did not sound too pompous and then smiled to myself. Would I also keep a record of certain boyish pleasures? I smiled again as thoughts turned to actions...

To be continued:

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