Unlocking Sexual Secrets
Part 78
Nifty / bisexual / adult-friends
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Now, where were we?
I gulped, then Louise stared at me and started speaking.
"Ron, I don't exactly want this to be a monologue. But I do want you to hear what I have to say. Yes, most of all, I want you to listen, that's very important. But I also need to hear what you think. OK?"
I told Louise that was OK.
"I'll start, Ron, with the things we do. The things we do together. Now, it's not that I don't enjoy doing them. But in the last few months, I've got to thinking. Mainly about how you act when we're, you know, with other people. Like at Barry and Annette's. Anyway, there's no other way for me to put this. I can't help but think you are getting off more and more on the gay sex. That you care only about sex with other guys. And that bothers me? Do you understand?"
I took a breath before replying.
"Louise, I'm sorry. I don't really understand."
"Really, Ron?"
"Really," I replied.
"OK, last Saturday."
"Last Saturday wasn't really a normal night, even by our standards," I said.
"Ron. For someone who says they don't like Rudy, you really seemed to enjoy having sex with him. I saw you. I watched you. You enjoyed it. A lot. The way you sucked his cock, God! I could tell that you loved it. And this is a guy you don't actually like? I'm not making this up, Ron, you seem to be getting more gay. I'm sorry. I don't like that. I didn't marry a gay man."
I had to think about what I said next. The thing was, Louise was right. For example, lately I'd found that I wanted to suck cock more and more. I'd often find myself daydreaming about sucking a cock. It was on my mind almost permanently. It was like it was becoming an addiction.
My porn usage these days was almost exclusively shemale and gay. Occasionally some Bi MMF, but even then, I'd always focus on the guys. Although I especially loved the Bi MMF scenes where the girl took it in her ass as well. I thought that those were the best.
"Louise, I thought you wanted me to be active in what we did last weekend. I didn't even want to go to Cara's, I went for your sake. I thought when you told me to 'behave', well, I thought you meant for me to take an active part in what we were doing. Not to spoil the mood. I really did think that."
"Whatever, Ron. Then there was you and that Devonne shemale at Barry's place. You couldn't wait to suck their cock. To lick my juices off their sexy big she-cock. You even loved taking a load of tranny cum on your face. And then you ass-fucked them and paid no attention to me."
"Louise, how can you say that? As soon as we got to our room that night, I fucked you! I couldn't keep my hands off you. How can you say I paid no.."
"Ron. You fucking pretty much ignored me the whole time we were in the play room."
I felt sure that I didn't, but I let Louise continue.
"Don't you remember that? Derek and his wife, whatever her name was, Vee? THEY played together a little. Barry and Annette too. THEY had their little moments. YOU practically ignored ME the whole time. You sat next to me for a while, and even then, we didn't talk much."
I didn't really remember it like that. But I hadn't seen everything that went on, I was occupied a lot of the time. I couldn't even remember if Barry had fucked Annette, or if Derek had fucked Vee. And Louise seemed to be concentrating more on what was going on around us when we'd taken a break, rather than focusing just on me. I felt Louise was being unfair, we had both acted the same way that night. Plus, I'd always felt Louise wanted an element of detachment between us when we took part in an orgy. No possessive husband drama, for example.
"But Louise, when we play like that, I thought.. Well, I mean if you wanted.."
"Ron, did you ever ask me lately how I think about things?"
What??
"Louise, this isn't fair. Baby, come on.." I said, in as friendly a voice as I could muster, before as usual, Louise interrupted me.
"Ron, you haven't asked me how I feel about anything for months. You know that? Months."
"Louise, I don't think you're being fair," I reiterated, "We HAVE talked," I said, in a worryingly pleading voice.
"We've talked. Well, more like I've talked, and you've stayed silent, Ron. You hardly ever say anything back to me when we talk about those kinds of things. You usually just nod these days. In the past you would tell me how you felt."
I thought that Louise was trying hard to sound reasonable, but I actually felt she was deliberately being theatrical, like she'd rehearsed her speech a few times. She paused thoughtfully for a few seconds. Paused for effect.
"Come on, Ron. I've given you what you want, and now I think you're taking advantage of me. Anyway, that's how I feel when we play TOGETHER. But I also know you're doing shit behind my back. I told you we'd be finished if you did that to me. How many fucking times? Jesus! But has that stopped you?"
I now felt I had to go all-in. There was no alternative. I had to lie, very convincingly.
If Cara had mentioned my Rudy sideline, I was probably fucked. I hadn't seen any email evidence that suggested Cara had ratted me out, when I'd snooped on Louise earlier, but I couldn't be sure.
But if I couldn't explain away the Donna rumor, I really was fucked. But I had no choice. It was all or nothing.
"Louise, that isn't true. I don't do anything that we don't talk about first. I do nothing like that unless we're on the same page."
"Really, Ron? Really?"
"Louise. I'm NOT cheating on you! And the things we do together? Come on, you must know this, I've had to work very hard to control my jealousy. I still can't say I'm 100% happy when you're with another man. Other men. You're my wife, I love you. But I thought that this was what you wanted. You've been in charge of most of the situations we've been in, right from the start even. We nearly always play by your rules. Come on, you have to see that? It's been that way from the start. YOU set things up, I go along with them. Sorry, Louise, I don't understand. Not anymore. It seems to me there's been this sudden change in you."
"Ha!"
Louise gave me a violent stare.
"Ron, that's part of the problem. It hasn't been a sudden change. It's just you haven't noticed."
"What? Well, yes, Louise! Seems I haven't noticed! You always seemed fine. The sex lately. I mean between me and you, it's been good, really good, no? The other shit? You signed us up for that club night down in the City. The online stuff, you organized that, the thing with Barry and Annette. And Cara and Rudy, last week. You knew I didn't want to do that."
"Ron, whatever."
That was the second time she'd replied with a 'Whatever'. When Louise slips into her 'Whatever' shtick, I know she's realizing I'm probably in the right. I took this as possibly a good sign.
Louise continued staring at me, but I saw her eyelids start to flicker. This was also a sign I'd learned, that told me Louise was stressed. I realized that she probably didn't feel totally in control any more.
Louise looked away briefly, before she continued speaking.
"Ron, I'm going to ask you this once, one time only. Are you gay? I mean totally gay? Have you gone off women? Have you gone off me?"
"NO!" I said forcefully. "Louise, I love you. I thought I've been doing what you wanted. Of course, I'm bisexual, I know that now. You know that. But Louise you are the only one I really want. If you want to stop this stuff, I'll stop. We don't have to do it."
"CAN you stop, Ron? Seems to me these days you can't get enough cock. You say you don't want to do things with Rudy, yet there you are, just last weekend, fucking and sucking Rudy. How does that work, Ron? Christ, you're addicted to shemales. Devonne. The party at Xochi, with that black shemale in our room. That time you let the redhead hooker ass-fuck you."
"Louise but you made me.." I tried to interject.
"Jesus, so many times. Fucking hell, Randall! DAVID! Oh my God, I nearly forgot David! Pretty make-up boy. And you practically fell in love with him. It even looked like you enjoyed watching him fuck me! Stop? You, Ron? Really? I can't even recall how many times we've had sex with trannies! You're fucking shitting me! And worse, you're kidding yourself. No way you can stop! NO FUCKING WAY!"
I sat in silence as Louise paused for a moment. I cast my mind back. I still wasn't getting Louise's attitude. The Randall/Raquel thing especially.
I remember Louise enthusiastically watching me ass-fuck Raquel, positively encouraging me to do it. It was her and Joanne who fucking set the whole thing up. Louise herself had fucked Randall as Raquel not once, but twice.
And down at Xochi? Afterwards, Louise had watched the movie of me fucking Deanna, like twenty times. She'd fucking even masturbated in front of me while we watched it together.
And now she had a problem with me and shemales?
I couldn't make sense of it at all. I think the 'together' stuff was a cover. Well, mostly. Louise had a point about my homosexual tendencies. But I felt all of this was mainly about my infidelities, or Louise's suspicions that I was being unfaithful. It seemed to me that's what was really bothering Louise. But I wasn't about to poke a stick into that particular piece of shit.
Another thing, Louise seemed to be all over the place today. Contradicting herself, at least compared to what she used to tell me she liked. It also struck me that, with emotions running high, she was, deliberately or subconsciously, 'mis-remembering' things. However, I felt it would be better not to point this out to her too firmly. She definitely wouldn't react well to me armchair psycho-analyzing her.
I took a deep breath. I thought I'd focus on one of the more recent points. See if I could show her that she was being unreasonable. But I wouldn't push it too hard. I thought that maybe just by mentioning it, not too forcefully, Louise might see some reason.
I focused.
"Louise, I see that you're upset. But you're not making total sense. Remember how you liked watching the movie of me and Deanna at Xochi?"
I paused, half-expecting Louise to react. She just glowered at me. I thought I better continue.
"Louise, OK, I'll stop. I mean, we'll stop. If that's what you want. I thought it was you who wanted to spice up our sex life? We've talked about this before. Remember the early days? You actually wanted to see me getting fucked, remember that? You practically forced me to do it. There was the shemale pornstar hooker you mentioned. And then there was Mike. You insisted on that. I wasn't into it that much. Christ, I still don't like it."
Still no reaction from Louise. She took a pull on her cigarette and flicked some ash into the ashtray in front of her. I suddenly remembered something. That I'd let David ass-fuck me, and that he'd told Louise about it. Thankfully Louise didn't mention it, so I continued.
"Louise, if you want this all to stop, we CAN stop. But I don't understand you. You wanted me to do stuff, which I did. And now you're saying you didn't want me to do that stuff? It's confusing as hell, Louise. Maybe I don't understand how you feel. Fuck, Louise, I don't know. The last week, it's been a total fucking nightmare. Not talking. The weird fuck on Friday night.."
"You didn't enjoy that, Ron?"
"No. Yes! I don't know. Louise, I love you. You are one incredibly sexy lady. You are the most important thing in my life. Jesus, we have kids together. I don't want to lose you."
"Whatever. So you say, Ron. So you say."
Louise took a final deep drag on her Marlboro, then crushed it out in the ashtray on the table in front of her.
"Louise. Tell me what you want. Please?"
"What I want right now, Ron, is a drink. One minute."
Louise got up and walked into the kitchen. I heard two glasses of wine being poured. Louise returned with two chilled glasses of white wine and handed one to me. Then she sat down and took a sip, before lighting another cigarette.
"Ron, when this all started, I was sure you were gay, and that you didn't want me anymore. That's why I did what I did with Bill. You know, I read all of your gay chat transcripts. There was tons of that shit on your computer. Christ, there was that one with a guy called Adrian, I remember that one very well. The guy was gonna drive up from Philadelphia with a butt plug in his ass all the way. I didn't even know what a butt plug was. I had to fucking Google it!"
"Louise, I've said I'm sorry about that stuff. It's ancient history, really.."
"Ron, you've gone from talking about it to doing it. Ancient history? Evolution more like!"
"Louise, we started this together. It was you set me up with Fabio that first time.."
"First time? FIRST FUCKING TIME??? Ron, enough of that BULLSHIT! I know you fucked Rudy before Fabio. Rudy told me, and I told you I knew. Don't fucking belittle me with your already disproved lies. JESUS! I know now that it was your little way of getting back at me. At Bill. I kind of accepted it, but really! Christ, don't bullshit me anymore! Why do you think I fucked Rudy in Cara's office knowing full well she had a security cam? Knowing full well she'd show you? If it's good for you? Well.."
"Louise, I.. Fuck, Louise, I'm so fucking confused. The.."
"Ron, we always said if we continued to play this game that we were in it together. And only TOGETHER. So, there was Rudy. And David. How many others? I mean there was Shawna, and Donna, I know about them, but how many other guys have there been?"
"NONE! And Louise, your thing about Shawna, no, that never happened. I swear.."
"But Donna? That happened? Right? Joanne told me Donna was going on and on about an exciting new boyfriend, but he was married. Things were 'complicated'. How he'd fucked her brains out one Friday night. I looked at the weekend it was meant to have happened, and, whaddaya know?!?! I was up at the lake! You said Randall told you I was having an affair, with Evan of all people. Joanne says Randall swears he didn't. But Joanne said Donna also knew about it, I mean someone fucking Evan in secret, Joanne's bullshit cover story saying it was me. So, if it wasn't Randall told you, it had to be Donna told you.. It was YOU who fucked Donna, right?"
"Louise, I.. Louise.. that isn't true. Donna came onto me. She's fucking delusional, you know that! You know that Shawna came onto me that time, I told you about that. But I didn't cheat on you with either of them!"
I tried to sound angry. Aggrieved, wrongly accused. I had to convince Louise there was nothing in these rumors. And in Shawna's case I was telling the truth. But was Donna going to be the one that did for me?
"Stop it, Ron. That fucking fat skeeze Donna! Christ, Ron, how could you?"
Louise took a very angry puff on her cigarette, almost spitting the smoke from her mouth on the exhale.
"I didn't.."
"Actually, Ron. Don't answer that question. Just shut up. Do me a favor. Shut up. Shut the FUCK up!"
Fuck. This 'chat' seemed to be going to hell in a handbasket. Fast.
I hadn't expected Louise to be reasonable, and I'd felt it would be easier to counter-argue her points if she was angry. But the worst thing of all was that her basic points were correct. And while I didn't feel totally fucked, I was thinking things were fifty/fifty at best.
I WAS being drawn more to my homosexual side. And I WAS fucking people behind her back. And I HAD fucked Donna. Louise was right.
I had wondered why Louise had been so aggressive at Cara's? Now I was realizing why.
I tried not sigh as I deliberated on how I was going to extricate myself from this situation. Maybe I couldn't? However, I knew that I had to try and regain some control of the narrative.
"Louise, I can stop the gay stuff. If you want to go back to how things were?"
"How things were, Ron? The duty fucks? Were you happy then?"
I didn't know how to reply.
"Ron, if you're lying about Donna, we're done. DONE! I'm telling you now, I find out that happened, we're history. Faster than you can say 'alimony'!"
"Louise, I can assure you, nothing happened."
"OK, Ron. I've said my piece. Now it comes down to this. If you want to stay married to me, this is how it's going to be. You can of course disagree. And we'll finish. You can move out today even."
"Louise, I.. I don't.."
"Ron! Let me finish. This is the new deal. ONE. No more gay sex."
Louise stared at me to make sure I was paying attention.
"I don't want to totally stop with the freaky stuff. So, TWO. From now on, anything that happens is COMPLETELY on MY terms. Right? Ron? You got that?"
I nodded.
"If we meet another couple," Louise continued, "the other guy has to be straight, and there can be no gay shit. No sucking his cock. I don't even want you eating another guy's cum out of my cunny. Well, not when he's still around anyway."
Louise took a pull on her cigarette, I think she'd forgotten she had one lit, then stubbed it out.
"If we do a threesome, you make damn well sure you pay attention to me! Of course, the other person needs to have some fun, that's only fair. But, if you focus on her, if it's a girl, and you forget about me, I'll fucking divorce you before I've finished my post-sex cigarette. If we're partying with another guy, you both spoil ME. And, as I said Ron, any hint of gayness, and you're gone. Things that just happen, like your cocks touch, I want two cocks in my cunny at the same time, anything like that, OK. But no intentional gay stuff."
I stared back at Louise in silence. She made sure that I was still paying attention before continuing.
"Maybe, just maybe, I'll occasionally be in the kind of mood where I actually want to watch you with another guy. But in that case, I'll totally set it up, and it will be EXACTLY how I want it. I'll pick the guy. And only if I think you deserve it. I accept that you have your gay side. But, you need to control it."
Yes, I thought, I need to control it. Because YOU want to control it.
Louise paused. I realized she had probably stopped with her sermon.
"Well, Ron?"
"Louise, I.. OK. But Louise, can I say some things?"
Louise nodded, "I said earlier you could. Go on."
"I can go along with everything you've said. But, if you are going to do anything in secret, and it doesn't involve me. Well, that would be the end for me. I can't deal with that. I'm sorry, I can't. You haven't always been totally honest with me."
"Whatever, Ron. You know what? The same goes for you. DOUBLE! I ever hear of you fucking around, with another guy, or another girl, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! And if it's with that fat piece of shit, Donna, I'll kill HER too!"
Louise took a set of deep breaths, then swigged the last of the wine from her wine glass. She was silent for maybe thirty seconds. But I felt that I'd weathered the storm.
Of course, I'd have to be super-careful with any extra-marital situations in the future. I knew that. I wasn't stopping, regardless of what I'd just told Louise. The door to my secret side, that was well and truly unlocked.
I also felt I needed to talk to Donna. Soon. But how was I going to do that? Louise couldn't find out about me and Donna. Fuck. What was I going to do about Donna?
Louise lit another cigarette then walked through to the kitchen for more wine. When she returned she looked at me studiously.
"Ron? What more do you have to say?"
"Louise, I don't want to lose you. I'm not cheating on you."
I paused to see if Louise looked convinced. It was hard to tell. She was giving me a skeptical kind of look. I carried on.
"But, Louise, if you're fucking other guys behind my back, we're finished too. I can go along with everything you've said. But that. That's a dealbreaker."
"OK, Ron. You have my word. If I have to trust you, you have to trust me. Now, get your laptop, and find us a hooker, female, who does outcalls. I'll make the final choice."
I looked at Louise incredulously.
"Louise? You're fucking kidding me? Are you.."
"I'm dead serious, Ron. Come on. Let's set something up for before dinner. I told you we're not done with the freaky stuff. I meant it."
I sat back, surprised, realizing I'd been leaning forward on the edge of my seat pretty much since we started our 'chat'.
I tried to quickly take stock of the situation.
On the one hand, I felt relieved. It now felt like I'd dodged a bullet. On the other hand, I didn't totally like this new setup with Louise. I felt that only when we got round to 'non-freaky' sex, and only then, would I be able to tell where we actually were in our relationship.
However, like a good boy, I walked over to the dining table and picked up my laptop.
"OK, Ron. Sit down here, next to me. Let's see what options we've got. I'm sure we can find someone hot we both like."
TO BE CONTINUED