Bleeding Hearts

By moc.loa@2241hsyR

Published on Nov 16, 1999

Gay

Here's chapter 14. I know it took longer than some of the previous chapters, but it's been a busy week. Hope I didn't lose your interest. Let me know what you think.

Visit my site at www.familyshoebox.com/family/bleeding-hearts

Chapter 14

I froze for just the briefest second, but it was long enough, when I tried to slam the door Zack was already in motion and managed to shove the door back open.

"That's not very hospitable, Killian," he said, "We're just here to pay you a quick visit. I promise it won't be long."

I wasn't about to let them into the house so I stood where I was, feet apart and arms crossed to try and hide their shaking.

"What do you want?" I demanded. I refused to let them see how scared I was.

"What kind of game are you playing, Killian?" Zack asked casually as he leaned against the doorjamb.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Don't play games, faggot," Jesse entered the conversation for the first time with his usual wit and charm.

"I don't know what you are talking about? What games?"

"What's going on with Gilly? We know you're a fag, you told us so yourself. Plus we saw you with Asher," Zack explained patiently.

"I'm going out with Gilly," I said simply.

"We got that much, what we want to know is why. Why date Gilly if you're gay?" Zack said.

"Maybe I changed my mind," I almost giggled at the thought but I restrained myself out of fear. I could feel the sweat trickling down my back I was so nervous.

"You can do that?" Jesse asked in surprise.

Zack shot him a disgusted look and said, "Look Killian, I don't know what you are up to, but don't forget we're watching you. If you hurt Gilly, we'll hurt you. Got that?"

"Yeah, I got it Zack. You know, you guys must be really bored if you don't have anything better to do than follow me around all the time and keep tabs on my love life."

Zack pulled himself up straight and squared his shoulders. Jesse moved into position behind him and it became very evident that my big mouth was about to get me in trouble again. Just as I was about to try and talk myself out of whatever was coming, Adam pulled into the driveway.

Zack glanced over his shoulder and started backing up.

"We'll talk more later," he said loudly enough for Adam to hear as he got out of his car.

"Are we leaving?" Jesse asked. I swear Jesse would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

"Yeah, we're done here for now," Zack told him.

"Who was that?" Adam asked as they got in their car and pulled off.

"Zack and Jesse, also known as Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber."

"What did they want?" he asked sharply.

"They were trying to figure out what I'm doing with Gilly. I think it really confused them; more than their insignificant intellect can handle."

Adam laughed. He put his arm around me and steered me into the house. "That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one of these days. I think your lips move before your brain gets done thinking."

"It almost just did. I'm glad you got here when you did," I went on to recount the whole scene with Zack and Jesse.

"I don't want you coming home alone anymore," he said when I was finished. "If I can't be here I'll have to figure something out. It's just not safe. That could have gone so many ways."

"But it didn't," I said, "I'm ok. I just won't be so stupid as to open the door before I know who's there anymore. So what happened with the lawyer? I didn't think you were supposed to be back this early."

"Nice change of subject. It went well. Ilana thinks we have a good chance.. She's very confidant"

"Ilana?"

"My lawyer, Ilana Constantino. She's going to go ahead and start the wheels turning on this custody thing. She's going to contact Eve's lawyer. I told her to expect all hell to break loose when Eve finds out."

"What happens if Eve gets ugly?"

"Oh, it's not a matter of if, and I guess I'll just have to get ugly back. This is my kid we're talking about. I'm not playing around any more. I'm tired of being the nice guy while my kids get hurt."

We'd settled in the living room by now. We talked for a while about all the legal ins and outs of the situation and what it would be like to have Kane move in with us. We would be sharing Seth's old room; Adam said he would get twin beds. Some time later, Adam looked at his watch.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for your dinner with Gilly's family?" he asked me.

"Getting ready?"

"Meeting the girlfriend's family is a big deal, you know," he was grinning now.

"Gilly's not my girlfriend, not really," I said defensively, thinking about Asher and my angry words earlier that day.

"I know, Killian, I'm just kidding. But you should still make an effort to look nice."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing now?"

"Nothing...if you're going to school. Why don't you just go change? Doesn't have to be anything too dressy, just a little less...beachy."

I looked down at my t-shirt and faded jeans and realized that maybe he had a point. I ran upstairs and changed into a pair of cargo khakis and a dark green button up shirt over a white t-shirt. I checked myself out in the mirror and thought I didn't look half bad. My hair was even curlier than usual. I decided not to brush it out since I kind of liked the way it looked curly.

I went back down and presented myself to Adam. After getting his approval I decided it was about the right time to head over to Gilly's house; a little early, but not too much. I hated being last minute.

I followed the directions Gilly had given me but I was sure I must have messed up somewhere when I pulled into the drive of the address she'd written down. The house was a huge, old plantation manor; it could almost be described as a mansion. After I double-checked the directions and address, I parked the car and walked up the front door. It opened before I could even knock. Gilly stood there grinning ear to ear.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" she said before I could even say hi.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Think you're prepared to meet my crazy family? They all turned out to meet you."

"W-w-what?" I stuttered nervously.

"Well, not the whole family - Uncle Ken and his family couldn't make it. You see, Aunt Judy's in town for a few days, she lives in California, so everybody is here to see her. I kinda forgot that when I invited you, but Mom said what's one more mouth?"

"Oh great," I thought, "I'm walking into a freaking family reunion. Now I have to impress the whole family." Then it struck me that Asher might be there and I almost headed back to the car, but Gilly had me by the arm and was dragging me in.

I shouldn't have worried though, from the moment I stepped through the door it was like being swept up into a whirlwind. People were everywhere, or so it seemed. As I was given a mini-tour of the downstairs of the house I was introduced to everyone.

In the living room I met the famous Uncle Rick and Todd, who were both seated on the couch and seemed to be in a deep conversation. Alex, Asher's Dad, was talking to Asher's sister Bethany who was home from college for the weekend and had extended her stay to see Judy. Rick was in his mid to late 30's with straight light brown hair that he wore in a stylish short cut brushed to one side. Todd was a year or two older than me with shoulder length blonde hair and the same sky blue eyes that Gilly had. He was the stereotypical surfer boy, tan and built from all the paddling and swimming. Alex had graying sandy blonde hair and gray eyes. Bethany had the same hair as her mother and Asher, but longer. It came to just past her shoulders and hung in shiny brown ringlets. She was very pretty with a heart shaped face and perfect pouty little lips. Asher said she had been doing some modeling where she was going to school and was trying to get into acting. I could picture her on a movie screen. She had that look about her; she carried herself like a star.

In the rec room, there was Marcus, Asher's brother, and Jacob - call me Jake - playing Nintendo 64, while Jamie divided his time between watching them and playing with a pile of Star Wars figures on the floor. Marcus looked like he was from a different family from Asher and Bethany. If you put a bunch of people in a room and you had to pick out the siblings, you would never match them up. He had wavy sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, where both Asher's and Bethany's were a steely gray color. He looked more like Jake's brother than Asher's. Jake had blonde hair too, although it was darker than Todd and Gilly's. His eyes were the same shade of blue though as everyone in their family's seemed to be. His hair was longish, but not as long as Todd's. His look was more skater than surfer, even to his outfit, baggy jeans, wallet chain and layered shirts. Jamie was adorable, same white-blonde hair and blue eyes as Gilly. He still maintained a little of his baby fat, not enough to be chubby, but enough to give him that soft baby look still.

Everyone else was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner. Tom and Janice, Gilly's parents, were standing over an open oven arguing over who was going to take the ham out. Tom pulled an oven mitt off long enough to shake my hand and Janice took the opportunity to duck under our arms and grab the ham. He chased off after her, insisting that she let him carry it while she insisted that she was fine. Tom was slightly overweight with prematurely white hair and glasses. Janice looked much younger than he did with her blonde hair cut in a pageboy style. She was built like Gilly, thin and small with delicate, pretty features. Mrs. Davis, Deb, was scooping huge mounds of fluffy mashed potatoes into a bowl while Judy, Gilly's crazy aunt, was cutting a cake. Judy had piles of red hair of an unnatural shade that towered over her head in a gravity-defying feat of hairdressing magic. She wore an abundance of make-up and rather looked like a carnival gypsy in her brightly colored muumuu. Even her nails lent themselves to the effect, about two inches long and painted bright red - they looked like talons. When we were introduced, she dropped the knife she was using to slice the cake and swooped in on me for a big hug. It was like being attacked by a giant fluffy bat. It was almost impossible to pinpoint her age; she could have been the oldest or the youngest sibling in the Davis clan.

There was only one person I hadn't seen: Asher. I turned to Gilly as we went back to the rec room and asked, "Is Asher here?"

"No, he said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to stay home, so they left him," she explained.

"Oh," I breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Are you guys fighting?"

"Sort of," I said and left it at that. Thankfully, Jamie barreled into us at that moment and distracted Gilly from pursuing it further.

"Will you play Star Wars with me?" he asked as he wrapped himself around my legs and looked up at me with those big blue eyes. How could I say no to that?

I sat down in the floor with him and he handed me a Darth Maul figure. "You be him and I'll be Obi Wan Kenobi," he told me.

"Who can I be?" Gilly asked.

Jamie looked at her with a puzzled expression for a moment before saying, "I don't have any girls."

"What about Princess What's-her-name?"

"Amidala, and she was a Queen, not a princess. And I didn't want her."

"Why not?" Gilly persisted.

"Cuz she's a girl," Jamie finished decisively, as if that explained everything. Gilly shrugged and moved over to watch Jake and Marcus battle it out on Goldeneye. I heard her mutter something about males and violence, but I couldn't catch all of it.

We fought with our figures, making light saber sounds and other cool sound effects until we were called to dinner.

Dinner was another experience entirely, quite unlike any I'd ever had before. It was like one of those families you see on TV or in the movies; like those big Italian families in mafia stories, except they weren't Italian and they weren't mafia...at least as far as I knew. Everyone talked over each other and food just kept going round and round. I swear it seemed to keep multiplying.

Questions kept coming at me from every side. I tried to keep up with them, but I'm pretty sure I missed a few.

After dinner, Asher's family had to leave, but everyone else headed for the living room where they settled down and continued chatting. After a few minutes, Judy excused herself to go smoke. A few minutes later, Gilly asked me if I wanted to take a walk, to which I quickly agreed. It wasn't that I didn't like her family; they were just a bit overwhelming.

We walked around the back yard for a while before finally settling on the back porch on a swing. We talked about nothing for a few minutes before Gilly excused herself to go to the bathroom. She hadn't even shut the door before Judy appeared from the bushes and sat down beside me on the porch swing. I wondered how long she'd been lurking in the shrubbery.

"You're not really Gilly's boyfriend are you?"

"Huh?" I managed.

"You and Gilly, you aren't really boyfriend and girlfriend. I can see."

"What do you mean you can see?"

"I see many things. I see that you only love other boys, and since Gilly is not a boy..."

"How do you know that? How do you know I'm gay?" I hissed. I was getting panicky.

"Don't be scared. I don't judge, I simply see. I see many things most people don't. It's not that they can't see, they just often choose not to."

"What else to you see?" I asked hesitantly.

She reached out and took my hand. "I see you are scared. You have been hurt very much and you have not yet healed. You are in danger; someone wishes you harm. You must find them before they accomplish the task they have set before themselves. Your paths are intertwining; they converge repeatedly. From this point there are many paths you can chose, but there is only one that you will survive. Watch your step carefully."

She dropped my hand and stood up. She looked down at me for a second, then began to walk away.

"Wait!" I called after her, "Do you know who it is? Who's after me?"

She paused and turned back to me, her face was lost in the shadows so that her voice seemed to come from nowhere, "You must discover that for yourself. It is your path." I felt the hairs on my arms stand up, and then she turned and melted into the darkness.

Gilly came back out as soon as Judy was out of sight, but before she could even sit down her mom called her back inside.

"I'm sorry, Killian. I'll be right back, I promise," and she ducked back inside.

She hadn't even been gone for a minute before the door opened again. My mind was still swirling with Judy's words so it took a moment for me to realize that it wasn't Gilly, it was her brother Todd. He hadn't noticed me on the swing as he walked to the rail and leaned against it. I was debating whether or not to make my presence known when he turned around and noticed me. He started a little, then cursed under his breath.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," he said.

"S'ok," I told him.

"You're awful quiet," he said as he came over and sat down beside me. I couldn't help but think that this was all like a play or a sitcom with everyone coming and going in such a seemingly synchronized way. "So you're Gilly's boyfriend. Are you the guy she's been after for so long?"

"I guess," I laughed. Good thing I was or some poor guy would be feeling really special right about now. I shifted a little because Todd had sat down closer to me than I was comfortable with. I was feeling a little flushed from his closeness; he was very attractive.

"You guys don't seem to be all that enthusiastic about it," he commented. He looked at me closely and again I felt vaguely uncomfortable, like he was seeing through me.

"What do you mean?" I asked warily.

"Just that you guys don't seem to have the body language you usually see with two people who are first going out."

"Just drop it, Todd," Gilly said suddenly from behind us. We both jumped. I hadn't even heard the door open. "Since when are you an expert on body language?"

"Gilly, I'm just looking out for you. That's all," he said standing up and moving away from the swing.

"Thanks, Todd, I know. But you have to remember that I'm a big girl now. I'm only 18 months younger than you. I can take care of myself."

Todd looked at me one last time and I could tell that he had more that he wanted to say, but he just shrugged and walked back into the house.

"Sorry about that. I warned you that I had a weird family." Gilly said sitting in the once again vacant spot next to me.

"It's ok," I told her, "but I really think I need to be getting back home. I didn't finish my homework."

Gilly smiled but it didn't look like she really meant it. "Ok," she said, "Will you come in and say good bye to everyone first?"

"Yeah, of course," I said.

Then before I could react she leaned forward and kissed me. I pulled away quickly.

"Gilly, I'm gay," I said softly.

"I know, but I thought maybe if we..." she never finished; instead she just burst into tears.

"Oh geez, Gilly," I said, feeling very helpless and unsure of what to do. I patted her awkwardly on the back. After a few minutes she managed to stop crying and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Killian," she sniffled, "I promise I won't do it again."

"It's ok, Gilly," I said, still feeling very awkward, "It's not that you aren't a great girl, you are, it's just...if I wasn't gay, I'm sure I would like you a lot. I mean I like you now as a friend, but if I was straight I'm sure I'd like you as more than a friend..."

Gilly reached out and placed a finger on my lips to shut me up, "You don't have to apologize or explain anything, Killian. I was out of line and I'm sorry. Let's just pretend that never happened? Ok?"

I nodded and we both stood up and hugged briefly. We went back inside and after saying goodbye to everyone I went out to my car, but my strange night at Gilly's house wasn't over yet. Before I could get in my car someone tapped me on the shoulder. I spun around with a yelp, but it was only Rick.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he said, "I just wanted to say goodbye and tell you if you ever need to talk, I'm available."

"Um, thanks," I said uncertainly.

"I know this must be a confusing time for you right now. Asher talks to me and he told me what's been going on for both of you and as you know, he isn't handling things very well. But hang in there; hopefully he'll come around soon, and he'll need his friends when he does."

"He hasn't seemed to want me as his friend lately," I said. I was a little angry that Asher had told my personal business to Rick without even asking me.

"Asher doesn't know what he wants right now. In time, though, he'll sort things out, just give him time." He patted me on the back and started back towards the house. I got in my car and drove anyway from what had to have been one of the oddest nights of my entire life.


I went to sleep thinking about what Judy had said and it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. In fact, it totally distracted me all morning at school, as well. At one point I paid attention enough to realize that I had no idea what we were talking about and thought that this would be a bad thing come test time, and then I spaced out again.

I was still in my own little world at lunch when I realized someone had sat down next to me. Somehow, I wasn't surprised to see that it was the only member of Gilly's family that hadn't cornered me the night before, besides her parents.

"Hey, Jake," I said.

"Hi, Killian. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?" he asked. He was wearing a baggy pair of brown cords and a long sleeved Creed concert t-shirt, accessorized with the requisite wallet chain. Today he had thrown in a silver ball chain necklace. His blonde hair was tucked behind his ears in a way that I found very appealing. Was everyone in Gilly's family attractive or was it just me?

"Sure, why not?" I said.

"You were friends with Seth, right?"

Wow, that was about the last thing I had expected him to say. "Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that." I said finally.

"I heard that you're even living with his dad now."

"Yeah, I am." I wondered where this was leading.

He looked around at the tables near us then leaned in closer to me, "Wasn't Seth gay?" he asked quietly.

"Um, yes."

"Is it true that his dad is too?"

"Yes."

"Then, um...are you?"

Uh oh, dangerous waters; what should I say? "I'm dating your sister," I said, deciding to go with a non-answer.

"I know, but that's not what I asked." He was sharper than I had given him credit for.

"Look, Jake, do you think we could get together later maybe and talk about this?" I looked around meaningfully.

Jake thought for a moment then made up his mind, "Yeah, sure. Can I ask you one more question though?"

I was hesitant but I agreed.

He again leaned in and lowered his voice even more, "Do you think Seth was really killed in a mugging? I mean you were there, but that seems unlikely to me."

I was so shocked that for a minute I couldn't even say anything. At last I was able to ask, "What do you mean?"

"Just that it seems strange that the only openly gay student at our high school gets mugged and killed two weeks after school starts. Call me suspicious, but that sounds fishy to me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wondered for a second if I was being set up, red flags were going up everywhere. I remembered Judy's words, 'Watch your step carefully' she had said. I decided that this was very good advice for this situation.

"Why does it matter to you?" I asked cautiously.

He looked around again, why did he seem so paranoid? "We'll talk about it later, ok? When do you want to talk?"

"How about after school? You can meet me at my car. You know what I drive right?"

"A black Beetle right?"

"Yeah."

"Todd parked next to it this morning. I'll meet you there, but wait for me; I have to talk to Mr. Johnson after school for a few minutes about an assignment that's late. I'll see you then."

"Ok," I said, "See you then."

Next: Chapter 15


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