Brian and Me

By D LS

Published on May 18, 2000

Bisexual

Well, folks, here we go again. :)

All of the usual caveats apply, of course. The story's fictional, not meant to imply or expicitly state anything about anyone mentioned. You knew that, right? Just as you know whether or not you should be reading this. So, I'm leaving you to police yourself on that one. I figure that, by part 97, you should likely have a good idea what you're in for if you proceed.

I haven't done it in a while, so I'll put some story recommendations here for anyone interested in what sort of thing my twisted little mind enjoys. Storywise, that is. :) The old favourites, like "Search & Rescue" (Matt :P), "Lucky Me" (Lauren), "Some Kind Of Bliss" (Braan), and "NSYNC, Lance & JC" (DCKevin). And a relatively newer favourite with "Because I Love You" (Lucas). And, a couple of totally new favourites in "Millennium Love" (Kenitra) which I've just started but am enjoying. I also liked her "Ice Storm". Remembering the ice storm personally, I can definitely say it would have been more enjoyable with Kevin around. :P A couple of other new favourites are both by Scotty T: "Mirrors" and "Beneath It All". Granted, the latter only has one installment thus far, but I've sort of got an inside track to a bit of what's going to happen, and I have faith in Scotty's talents. :)

Thanks to everyone who has written about the story in general, and the crossover specifically over the last little while. It's good to hear what you think of what I do. :)

Big thanks to both Matt and Scotty for taking some time to read through this one and giving their comments on it. It's definitely better for both of their input.

One final note: I've got another story underway, and a few installments finished already. This one centres (never centering :P) on Lance, and it's a bit more easy-going and frivolous than B&M is. At least, that's how it feels so far to me. I don't have a release schedule for it yet, since it's still pretty much a project that I work on when other things are being difficult. HOWEVER, I have decided to post it on my webpage rather than on the archive. B&M will still be posted here as well as there, but the new one (no name for it yet) will be only on the webpage. With a bit of luck, and if I can come up with a name for the damn thing, the first installment should be posted within a few days, and maybe even by the time you're reading this. Do let me know what you think of it if you decide to check it out. Once again, the website's address is:

dls-stories.homepage.com

Thanks all. ENJOY! :)

PART 97

Since Nick's plane wasn't going to be coming in until first thing in the morning, it was just Brian and I for dinner at Jeff and Cindy's. Erron had been invited, but he was doing his last shift at work before his break to join us. He had apparently been stocking up hours like mad in order to take the time off.

Brian and I were still not going to tell him about Nick's coming along. Whether it was merely to surprise him, or for the sadistic pleasure of watching him squirm in the presence of the object of his desire, I don't think either one of us could have said for sure.

We got our bags - Brian's had made it safely this time - and loaded them into the cab, giving the driver the address of the apartment.

On the way, we made small talk about our week in Memphis, and what we wanted to do during our time at the cabin. That part was easy, since we both planned on just relaxing as much as we could. I was going to have to write quite a bit, of course, but I was definitely looking forward to some time alone with Brian, Nick, and Erron. I had really missed not having Nick and Erron around.

Before we knew it, the cab was pulling up in front of my building. Brian paid him before I could, and we climbed out to retrieve our bags.

I thanked the driver as he set the last piece of luggage on the curb and slammed the trunk closed. He smiled and got back in, and was soon merging with traffic again. Brian grabbed his things, and I picked up mine before following him to the front door.

We managed to get the doors open without putting anything down, but our luck only lasted to the interior door. Since Erron was working, I had to unlock it myself, and that was simply impossible with all of my things. Dropping a couple of bags to the floor, I dug out my key and unlocked the door, propping it open with my suitcase. I motioned for Brian to go inside, then joined him, picking my bag up behind me.

We ran into the same problem, of course, when we got to the apartment door.

Repeating the procedure, we were soon both in the entranceway of the apartment with the door shut behind us. With a sigh, I dropped my things and headed for the living room.

"You know," Brian laughed. "You carried all this stuff this far, you could take it down the hall."

"I could, but why would I want to? There's a nice soft couch in here waiting for me."

"But there's going to be a nice soft boyfriend in the bedroom waiting for you in a minute," he said, walking down the hall.

I thought about that for all of a millisecond, then grabbed my things and followed him. "Okay, but I don't know if I like the idea of a soft boyfriend. Kind of defeats the purpose." I yawned just as he looked back at me. I tried to cover it, but he caught me.

"Well, since it looks like I get to play the part of your pillow again, soft's probably better," he laughed.

"First thing, soft is never better. Second thing is that you don't have to play pillow for me. Why don't you watch TV or something for a while. We don't have to be at Jeff and Cindy's for hours yet."

"Maybe I want a nap too," Brian said, putting his bags in the corner. "And maybe I just want to be close to you." He turned and headed for the bed, but was distracted by the bookshelves running along one wall.

Walking over to them, he started to run his fingers over the spines of the books. He barely glanced at my collection of texts from school. Apparently, sonnets and plays weren't his thing. His finger stopped moving as he reached the second bookshelf. That was where I kept my personal reading.

"Quite the Stephen King fan, aren't you?" he laughed. There were four shelves of King books. Everything that he had written, as a matter of fact, as well as a couple of French translations and two books of interviews with him.

I thought back to my conversation with JC and smiled. "After me, he's the best author I've read," I joked, adding my luggage to his in the corner. The stuff that Kevin had arranged to have shipped to Toronto before we left Denver was there waiting as well. I watched as Brian moved further down the shelves.

"These are different," he commented, coming across the bottom shelf. "Hypnosis, hypnosis, self-hypnosis, aura reading, scrying, witchcraft, cults, runes..." he continued down the row of books before looking up at me. "Something I should know about?"

"Nope. Just my twisted side in tangible form."

"You really into this stuff?" he asked, pulling out the book on witchcraft and leafing through it. He didn't seem to like what he found, because he snapped it shut again. I couldn't blame him. Some of the illustrations were very creepy.

"Not really," I told him, coming over to look at the books with him. "This kind of thing just really interests me. Nana was into it." I motioned to the books on scrying and hypnosis. "This is sort of an attempt to understand the mind better. I don't know how much of what's in there is possible, but some of it is. With the way my brain works sometimes, I wanted to see if I could bring it under some sort of control."

"Just so long as you don't turn me into a chicken," Brian laughed, plucking one of the hypnosis books off the shelf and leafing through it.

"Don't worry, I have no desire to be sleeping with a chicken." I reached out and took the book that he was holding, leafing through it until I came to the right page. "Read this part here. It's about the medical uses of hypnosis."

I handed it back to Brian, who started reading.

"We might consider here the problem of the pervert, the individual whose sex life takes some outlet generally disapproved by society. This outlet is often toward the same sex, giving us the typical homosexual.

"Here we run into exactly the same problem as in the case of the hysteric. The sex life is on a very immature level and the individual follows his line of action because of the pleasure principle. The pervert, in general, does not want to be cured. He is quite happy as he is, so we may count on very little co-operation, just as with the hysteric. Lip service to be sure."

Brian started to giggle at that last, but I urged him to continue.

"Plenty of assurance that he or she will do everything possible to 'reform', but experience soon teaches the operator to place very little reliance on these protestations.

"However, the subject does have one real advantage, which may not appear so to him. He is what he is because of the pleasure principle. But he is living in a very real world and the hand of society may fall with brutal force on the pervert, much more so than on any of the cases so far mentioned. The results may be very unpleasant, so unpleasant in fact that they will outweigh the immature pleasure drive which is the cause of his trouble. In this case he may give the doctor genuine co-operation when he seeks a cure.

"Even so, results are none too hopeful. Rarely indeed does the homosexual succeed in readjusting to a normal sex life. The reason is the same as with the hysteric. The pleasure principle has led him where he is and, he is quite satisfied with life - unless he crosses the law. The psychoanalyst would say there is a weak spot in his personality synthesis. Instead of developing into a normal adult, facing adult reality, he became arrested - fixated - at an earlier stage of development. A more simple explanation would be in terms of suggestion. Seduced at an early age, this experience - suggestion - made such an imprint on the sensitized brain plate that it cannot be removed. Inasmuch as the resulting activity is pleasant, he does not try seriously to fight the trend but accepts it. There will always be this weakness with the constant danger of a backslip into the perversion."*

I smiled at him as he closed the book and looked at me.

"Well," he said. "I don't know when I've been insulted in nicer language."

I laughed and nodded. "That passage is why I bought the book. I was in a little used bookstore downtown a few years ago, and I happened across it. I was standing there laughing, and decided I just had to have it."

"So basically, if society smacks us around enough, we're supposed to come to our senses and realise that gay isn't the way to go?" he asked, laughing as he put the book back on the shelf.

"That's about the size of it," I agreed. "As long as it's so much fun growing up gay, there'll never be a cure."

"It sure was a blast," he said sarcastically, then brushed my hand with his. "But it's pretty enjoyable right now."

"Careful," I warned him with mock concern. "You'll never be cured thinking that way."

"Please tell me that's an old book."

"Copyright 1957. Newer books on it rarely mention homosexuality at all."

"Good," Brian said, turning back to the shelf. He reached out and pulled out a thick book about runes and prophesy. "This looks interesting."

"It is. I've read it a few times now."

"We'll have to pick you up some runestones," he laughed, looking through the pictures of different carved stones.

I reached up onto the top of the bookshelf and pulled down a small grey cloth bag and shook it for him. "They came with the book."

He rolled his eyes, but seemed genuinely interested in the book. "Let's get you to bed," he said, tucking it under his arm and pulling me toward the very soft-looking bed.

"Just a minute. There's something that I promised to show you."

"I thought you were tired," he said suggestively.

This time it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Keep it up and you're not going to be seeing that for a long time. Sit down for a minute." Brian sat down while I went to the closet and reached for the two frames that were sitting on the top shelf.

Bringing them down, I stood back and looked at the top picture. It was the one of Papa, smiling and looking at me from behind his bushy eyebrows. I smiled back and blew across the glass, getting rid of the little bit of dust that had settled on it since the last time I had taken them down. Sitting with Brian again, I turned us both and laid out the pictures on the bed, side by side.

"Wow," he commented, looking from one to the other. "These are great."

The pictures went together, and I had always wondered if Nana had planned them that way. Set the way they were, it appeared that Papa and I were almost looking at each other, his eyes cast slightly downward and mine slightly upward. We also shared the same semi-smile, and what could be seen of our shirts was done in the same shade of green.

"You look a lot like him."

"That's what everyone used to say."

"I can't believe these. She even got your eyes the perfect colour."

"I told you she was good," I smiled. "I never really got the hang of the colouring, so I always stuck with the pen and ink stuff, but she could do just about anything she set her mind to."

"What's this?" Brian leaned over slightly and indicated the bottom left corner of the picture of me. "Who's 'Oggie'?"

"I am," I whispered, remembering. "I haven't thought of that in a long time, but I am."

"What?"

"That's what Nana used to call me. For almost as long as I can remember, she called me 'Oggie'. Ever since I started writing and drawing with her."

"I thought you said that your grandmother used to call you 'Nathaniel'."

"My grandmother did. My father's mother. Nana was my mother's mother. She always called me 'Oggie'."

"How did she get 'Oggie' from 'Nathaniel James Healy'?"

I smiled. "Told you she was odd. Remember I told you that Nana was into the stuff in those books?" He nodded. "Well, she was also really interested in mythology and stuff like that. Mostly Celtic mythology."

"Why?"

"I never really knew. She was just really interested in it. Mother used to say that she was pressured to marry my father because he had Scottish blood in him." I laughed. "That's the kind of thing I can see her doing, too. She was completely nuts over it."

"So how did she arrive at 'Oggie'?"

"Ogmios is a Celtic god. The god of poetry, charm and eloquence."

Brian smiled and began to nod. "Okay, I can see why she used it."

"She was always the one that encouraged me the most with my writing, and everytime she called me that, it backed me up a little bit more."

"I wish I could have met her."

"Me too," I said wistfully. "I miss her. I miss them both."

Brian put his hand on my knee and squeezed, but didn't say anything. He turned again and looked at the bottom left corner of Papa's picture. "And I take it his name was Angus?"

"Nope. But that's what she called him."

"Another god?"

I chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. Oenghus. One of the Irish gods of love. Sort of like Cupid. Papa used to love to sing, which is where my mother got it. Oenghus's kisses were supposed to turn into singing birds, and the music that he made drew the listeners to his side."

"That's sweet," Brian smiled. "Did he have a special name for her?"

I nodded. "Bitch." Brian stared at me until I started to laugh, then realised that I was kidding. "He always called her 'love'."

He shook his head at my joke, then smiled and picked up the picture of me. "You really should have these up somewhere, you know."

"I know I should, but I just can't. It's not right without her up there as well."

"What about the one that you're working on?"

"Maybe." I yawned as I thought about it.

Seeing the yawn, Brian stood up and put the pictures on my desk. "Come on. You're going to sleep."

"Okay, but you're not getting into bed wearing that shirt."

Smiling, Brian pulled off the shirt, not bothering with the buttons. "Better?"

"Much. Now get over here, pillow-boy."

He obediently climbed onto the bed and patted the place beside him. With a contented smile, I jumped onto the bed with him and put my head on his shoulder.

"Ugh," I said. "Too bony." I readjusted myself so that I had my head on his chest. "Nope, not right either." With another adjustment, I wound up curled into a ball with my head on his stomach. "That's better. Nice and flabby," I laughed.

"Hey!" Brian said, slapping my shoulder. My head rose and fell with his attempts not to laugh. "You know," he said, running his hand through my hair. "If you moved just a bit lower..."

"...I'd lose my soft pillow," I laughed. "Like I need that thing jabbing me in the ear!"

"Well, the ear wasn't what I had in mind."

I curled the other way, so that I was looking up at him. "You're insatiable."

"You're around," he countered. "What do you expect?"

"How do you do that?" I asked him, turning my head a little to kiss his stomach.

"Do what?"

"Sound horny and sweet all at the same time?"

"It's a gift. Now are we going to nap, or have some fun?"

"I've got to vote for nap," I said, resting my hand on his chest. "As much fun as fun sounds, I don't think I could stay awake through it. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Brian said. "Besides, it's not nearly as much fun if you're not awake."

"And you would know this how?"

Brian laughed and stroked my hair again. "Just guessing. What time does Erron get home?"

"He's working through the evening. He should be here when we get back from dinner, I think. I can't wait to see the look on his face when Nick shows up tomorrow."

"And you're sure that this is a good idea, right? Setting the two of them up like this?"

"Brian, we're not setting them up. We're just introducing them. If something happens between them, that's their business."

"Nate, sweetie, we both know that you're lying through your teeth. I'm just worried about Nick. What if he's not ready for this yet?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. They had been trying to close for the last few minutes, and it was a battle that I had been losing. "Then he'll tell Erron that, or he'll tell one of us. Nothing's going to happen if he doesn't want it to happen."

Brian took a deep breath, then let it out. "I guess so. Nick's a big boy, and we're both going to be there for him to talk to if he needs to, right?"

I tried to cut my yawn short to answer him, but it didn't work. "Right," I said when it had run its course. "Now stop worrying."

I was curled up sideways on the bed, lying almost perpendicular to Brian. I felt his hand land on my stomach and undo a few buttons on my shirt, then slip inside. "Okay, you sleep."

"What about you?"

"I'm not that sleepy," he said. "I'll wake you up in a couple of hours."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Watch you," he said softly.

"You know, if you weren't so damn cute, that might be just a bit creepy," I laughed, snuggling against him.

"Well I'll probably do a bit of reading too. Now shut up and go to sleep."

"Yes'm."

When I woke up again, I knew he was asleep. Glancing up, I saw his closed eyes and smiled to myself. During my nap, I had managed to work one arm around under him, and the other was lying straight down between his legs, my hand resting gently on his knee. His hand had moved from my stomach, and was sitting on the small of my back instead.

Raising my head a little, I checked the clock. We had been asleep for about two and a half hours, which left us with three more before we had to leave for dinner. I decided to let him sleep as long as he needed to.

Gently lifting his hand from my back, I set it on the bed and sat up, working my arm back out from under him and wondering how on earth that could have been comfortable for him. Brian moaned a little and rolled to his side, which made it easier for me to extricate my arm.

Once I was free, I stood from the bed and grabbed the lap quilt from my reading chair. Taking the still-open rune book from his hand, I spread the quilt over Brian, who instinctively grabbed it and pulled it up under his chin. I smiled, thinking how adorable he was, then stepped quietly to the door and into the hall.

After a quick stop at the bathroom, I wandered out into the living room to find Brian sitting on the couch.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," I said, smiling at him.

"I'm supposed to be sleeping with you," he answered, smiling back.

"Well let's see what we can do about that." I grabbed a book off of the shelf in the corner and joined him on the couch. "Now lay back down.

Brian obediently tipped himself over and lay his head on my lap. "Mmm... that's better."

"You know, you've got to start telling me when you're tired too, and we'll set the alarm. What if we had slept through dinner?"

He was already asleep again. I sighed and lay the book on his shoulder. Not only did he make a wonderful pillow, but he wasn't bad as a desk either.

An hour later, I was lost in the book - 'IT' - when I felt a hand grab my leg. Jumping, I managed to stop a yell. The book fell to the floor and Brian started to laugh.

"Scare you?"

"No, no," I said, smiling.

"Liar. What are you reading?" he asked, picking the book up off of the floor and checking it out. "Ah. Never read it, but I'm assured that it's creepy."

My heart was almost back to its normal rythm, so I slapped him on the shoulder. "What the hell are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?"

Brian laughed harder and sat up. "Hey, it's not my fault that you're a chicken."

"Hey, don't start with the name calling until you've read it. I guarantee you'll never look at a clown the same way again."

"Nick saw the movie."

"Me too. Better than most of the adaptations of his books, but still nowhere near as good as the book. Good casting, though."

"Well maybe I'll read it when you're done with it," he said, handing it back to me.

I pushed it back into his hands. "Go ahead. I've read it about six or seven times now. I just wanted something to keep my mind busy for a while."

"Why don't you ever let your mind rest?" he laughed. "You're going to burn it out."

"What?"

"You're always thinking about something. If you're not writing, you're thinking about the story. If you're not doing that, you're looking around for characters in a crowd. You're always keeping your mind occupied somehow. Like those books. You were looking for a way to help you keep your brain under control. Why don't you just let it rest? Think about nothing for a while?"

I didn't answer him for a few seconds. "Well," I said quietly. "Sometimes I don't much like where my mind goes when I just let it go on its own. So, I keep it busy whenever I can."

Brian looked at me closely, then nodded, seeing that I didn't want to go further with the conversation. "Okay. But can't you come up with cheerier stuff to occupy it with than this?" He held up the book again.

I laughed. "I suppose I could, but why bother? At least in there, the bad things happen to other people. Now, you get reading, and I'm going to go have a shower."

"Gee," Brian said, smiling. "Read, or shower with you?" Putting his hands out, he pretended to weigh his options.

"I didn't give you the choice, dear. You're going to sit here and read, while I shower. That's your punishment for scaring the living hell out of me."

"You're taking away my shower privaleges?" He started to pout through his smile.

"Well, I guess you could come with me." Brian immediately stood up from the couch. "But then I'd have to come up with some other privaleges to take away." Brian immediately sat back down with a smile. "I thought you'd see it that way."

"Don't be long," he said as I stood up. He picked 'IT' back up and opened to the first page. "I might get scared."

"Well, you know where I am if you do," I grinned as I headed for the bathroom.

"Jesus!" I yelled, jumping, as I stepped out of the shower.

Brian looked up from his perch on the counter. He was sitting with his back against the wall and his feet in the sink. He had the book against his knees and was bent over it.

"Scare you?" he laughed.

"That's twice today," I said, putting my hand to my chest. "What are you doing in here?"

"I got scared?"

"Nice try."

"I wanted to see you all wet and naked?"

"That sounds more like it," I agreed, taking a towel off of the hook beside the shower. "How do you like the book?"

"It's freaky," he said, shivering a bit as he helped me dry off. There was more groping than toweling on his end, but I wasn't really going to complain. "Poor Georgie."

I nodded. "Bet I know what's going to be going through your mind next time you walk past a sewer grate."

Brian grimaced and started to get undressed. "You staying?"

"Sure, once I get some clothes on."

"Now why would you want to go and do that?"

"Get your ass in the shower. Maybe make it a cold one," I laughed, opening the door. "I'll be right back."

I heard the shower start as I grabbed some boxers from my drawer and slipped on a light t-shirt. Walking back into the bathroom, I jumped up on the counter and grabbed the book again. I laughed when I noticed that Brian had made us matching bookmarks out of a flyer he had found.

I took my bookmark out and sat it on the counter beside me, and started reading again. It was hard to concentrate when Brian started singing in the shower. I spent most of the time sitting there with my finger holding my place as I listened to him.

He very carefully slipped 'boy' or my name into the places where it would normally have been 'girl', and I had to smile. I got the feeling that, even if I hadn't been there listening, he would have done the same thing.

He continued to sing as the water stopped and he stepped out of the shower.

Seeing me there listening to him rather than reading, he smiled and winked at me as he dried off.

I smiled back and pointed to the boxers and t-shirt that I had set on the cabinet for him. As soon as he was dry, he slipped them on and came to stand in front of me. I put my legs around him as he leaned in for a kiss.

"You put on quite a show," I whispered into his ear.

"The singing, or the nudity?"

"Both," I laughed. "And you make a good distraction from reading, too."

"Oooh. I'll keep your mind occupied anytime," he said, kissing me again.

"That time I was talking about the singing."

"Oh that's nice," he said with a grin. "I didn't hear you singing for me."

"Well, that could be because I didn't know that you were here," I laughed. "Or because I'm a horrible singer."

"Everyone thinks that they're horrible," Brian said, lifting me off of the counter and trying to put me down. I kept my feet hooked around him, and he put me back with a laugh. "I want you to sing for me."

"Well, we can't always get what we want," I said, standing up and kissing him.

"I guess that depends on what it is that we want," he sighed, slipping his hands down the back of my boxers.

"Or what we use to get it," I agreed with a smile, sliding my hands down the front of his.

"We're just going to get all sweaty again, you know," he said, kissing my neck, then biting my earlobe.

"Then we're just going to have to shower again, aren't we? But," I started to remove my hands, "if you've got objections..."

"I didn't say that!" Brian laughed.

"That's what I thought. Now who's letting go first?"

"Not you," he laughed, pressing himself to me and slipping his hands back out of my boxers, resting them on my waist. "I like those hands right where they are."

"But it makes transportation a bit... um... hard," I laughed.

"I'm sure we can figure something out."

We managed quite nicely, as it turned out.

PART 98

Cindy smiled confusedly as she opened the door and found the two of us standing there. Ushering us inside, she gave me a hug and told us that Jeff was in the living room with Norry, then exused herself again and headed for the kitchen.

Brian and I started in the direction of the baby noises, and found Jeff sitting in front of the TV. He looked up when we entered and smiled.

Standing, he gave me a quick, manly hug, and then offered his hand to Brian.

"Brian, this is Jeff. Jeff, Brian," I said, introducing them.

"Nice to meet you," Jeff said with a smile.

"You too," Brian smiled back, sitting down on the couch. I sat down beside him, and immediately realised that we were too close. I saw Jeff's eyes narrow a little bit, and then look away.

Brian noticed as well, and immediately looked uncomfortable. I started chastising myself for not better preparing him for it, but it had been a long time since I had been around Jeff and Cindy, and I had forgotten about their individual hang-ups.

While they were both fine with my being gay, Jeff was still uncomfortable when actually faced with it. When Erron and I had briefly dated, it had been abundantly clear that Jeff wasn't comfortable seeing us as a couple. Because of that, we had made sure not to spend a lot of time with them, and not to be too close to each other around him. I had always resented it, but Erron had just accepted it as the way Jeff was. Soon, we had stopped dating and it became a moot point.

"That's quite a setup you've got there," Brian said, moving away from me a little bit on the couch. I smiled at him, thanking him silently for trying.

Jeff looked back at Brian and smiled, though still seemed uncomfortable. "Thanks. I just got it a month or so ago," he said. Jeff relaxed as he and Brian got into a discussion about the entertainment system. Jeff was a huge technophile, and was always happy to talk about his new toys. Brian had inadvertantly discovered the fastest way into Jeff's heart.

I smiled at the two of them, then stood and walked over to the playpen that was sitting in the corner of the room. Norry was lying there, grinning in his sleep. A trail of drool was running from his lip to his hand, and he reminded me of Brian.

I laughed quietly, then stood up again. "I'm going to go visit with Cin," I announced, then realised that neither one of them had heard me. They were engrossed in some sort of debate over speakers.

I wandered back down the hall and into the kitchen. Cindy was stirring something that smelled wonderful, and keeping an eye on the rolls that were in the oven.

"Hey," she smiled, seeing me enter. "What happened to your Nick? I though we were going to get to meet the boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "I tried to call you a while ago, but it was busy. Nick's coming in from Orlando in the morning." She looked disappointed. "But, you do get to meet the boyfriend."

She glanced up at me, confused.

"My Nick may not be here," I laughed. "But my Brian is."

"You and Brian?"

I nodded and sat down on a stool in front of the counter. "Me and Brian. Told you you were jumping to conclusions. The tabloid thing was too close for comfort, but completely wrong."

Cindy smiled. "Well, I'm glad. Brian's cuter than Nick anyway."

"That's a matter of taste," I said, grinning. "Nick's pretty damn adorable himself."

"Don't let Brian hear you say that," she joked, still stirring. "So how long have you been together?"

"A couple of months or so," I said. "I met him over a year ago, but things didn't click until a couple of months ago."

"Why not?"

"Long story."

"And not a pleasant one, right?"

"How'd you guess?" I asked, smiling.

"Women's intuition," she laughed. "So things are good between you?"

"Things are excellent. I can't remember when I was happier."

"Me neither," Brian said as he walked into the kitchen. "I was wondering where you went."

"I told you I was coming to see Cindy. You and Jeff were busy talking about woofers or some stupid thing." Brian stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, putting his head on my shoulder.

Cindy turned away from us and bent back over the stove. I nudged Brian and he released me, stepping away a bit. This was Cindy's 'thing', and I was again kicking myself for not warning Brian about it. It had nothing to do with Brian and I being together. She was much more openminded about it than Jeff was. But Cindy abhorred public displays of affection. She wouldn't even hold Jeff's hand in public.

I'm sure by now you're starting to piece together why Erron and I hadn't spent a lot of time alone with the two of them. We loved them dearly, and knew that they loved us, but it was frustrating to constantly be dealing with their hangups. Dating was hard enough.

I knew that Cindy was embarrassed about turning away from us, but I wasn't going to help her out of it. I just smiled at Brian and tried to let him know that I would explain later. He looked uncertain, but he smiled back. "Sorry," he said, not even knowing what he was sorry for.

"No, I'm sorry," Cindy returned, turning to face him. "I shouldn't have done that."

Brian waved it off with a smile.

A few minutes later, Cindy had several dishes sitting on the counter. It looked like enough food to feed an army. 'Or Nick,' my brain added, making me smile.

"Could you guys take this out to the table?" she asked, motioning toward the dishes. "And tell Jeff that it's ready? I'll get the rolls and be right there."

"Sure," Brian said, grabbing a dish. I took another and followed him from the room.

"I'm sorry about that, Nate," Cindy said, grabbing my arm before I could leave.

"I know you are. Don't worry about it, but he didn't know." I left the room and entered the dining room just us Brian set his bowl down.

"Whoops," he whispered, standing beside me. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," I said, setting my own dish down and kissing him on the cheek. "I should have told you about that before, but it's been so long since I had to worry about it that I forgot. I'll give you the quick rundown, and explain more later. With Jeff, he's cool with us in theory, but he's uncomfortable with it in practise." Brian nodded. "And with Cindy, it's not us. She doesn't like PDA's at all, no matter who's involved."

"So I can't ravage you at the table?" he asked, a gleam in his eye.

"As much fun as that would be, I think we better not," I laughed. "I'm sorry for not telling you about that before."

"It's okay," he said. "Now why don't I go and get Jeff, and you go help Cindy?"

"I love you," I said, kissing him.

"It's hard not to," he laughed, then headed for the living room.

I joined Cindy in the kitchen again and picked up the last bowl of food. She was arranging the rolls on a small platter. "Does he totally hate me now?"

"No," I assured her, smiling. "But you've got to give him a bit of leaway.

We spend most of our time when we're not with the rest of the guys around people that we can't be ourselves with. We just got back from a week of being able to hold hands whenever we wanted, and being totally open. In the house, at least," I added, thinking about our close call with Ms. Neale.

"Okay," she said, and I could see the embarrassment on her face. "I'll try not to be such a bitch."

"Oh, why stop now," I laughed, nudging her and making her smile. "You do it so well."

"I don't know what he sees in you," she laughed, following me from the room. Jeff and Brian were already sitting down, and both stood when Cindy stepped to the table.

Once we were all seated again, the questions started. How did we meet? What was touring like? How did the other guys take us being together? What were we doing in Memphis? What were our plans for our week at the cabin? I swear everything Jeff or Cindy said during the meal had a raised inflection at the end of it.

Brian and I took turns answering their questions as we ate. By the time we were finished, they were both pretty much up to speed on our relationship. We had glossed over the time Brian and I had been apart, and my reasons for being in Toronto a couple of weeks before, but we had managed to tell them enough to let them know that neither one of us really wanted to talk about it.

When they were satisfied, we moved the group into the living room for coffee. Jeff started playing with the stereo. He knew that I was a lost cause, so he was playing pretty much to Brian. Cindy and I chatted for a while about how things were going for her, and what the gang from university was up to.

The coffee was long gone when Norry decided that it was time to make his presence known. Cindy had just taken our mugs back to the kitchen when he started to cry. I stood up and went to the playpen, looking back to Jeff, who nodded. Reaching in, I picked Norry up and held him, looking into his grey-blue eyes. He cocked his head to one side and watched me, trying to figure out who was holding him. Then he reached out a hand and grabbed my nose, making me laugh.

Norry laughed with me and started kicking his legs against my hip. "Oh you think that's funny, do you?" I asked him, grabbing at his nose. He blinked and moved his head back, still grinning.

"He's adorable," Brian said, looking at us.

"And he's supposed to be sleeping," Cindy added, coming back into the room.

"Aren't you?" she asked as she peeked at him over my shoulder.

Norry laughed again, making everyone in the room smile. "Let me see if I can get him to go back to sleep," Cindy said, putting her hands out to him.

I moved to hand him to her, but he leaned away from her and hugged me instead, putting his chin on my shoulder. I laughed and looked at Cindy.

"He must remember you," she smiled. "Let me get a towel for your shoulder.

He's drooling all over you."

"Don't worry about it," I laughed. "Brian does it all the time." I immediately regretted it. Jeff looked uncomfortable again, but at least it was the kind of comment that Cindy could take in stride. She just laughed and got me the towel, putting it over my shoulder. Norry started chewing on it.

"He likes you," Brian said, smiling at me from the couch, where he was now sitting between Cindy and Jeff.

"What's not to like?" I asked with a grin. "He just knows quality people when he sees them."

Norry reached into my collar and took out my necklace, which also went straight into his mouth. He pulled on it until the jade letter came out, and then he grabbed it and stared. "That's an 'N'," I said to him. "Maybe when you're older, we'll get you one. If we haven't convinced your parents to change your name by then."

"Better get shopping then," Jeff said with a smile. "Because we're sticking with Norton."

"Well, I guess I know one kid who's going to resent his parents then, don't I?" I asked Norry. "Don't worry, I'll help pay for the therapist."

"What's wrong with Norton?" Brian asked. "It's a bit old-fashioned, but it's not that bad."

"Thank you," Cindy said, turning to Brian. "We've been trying to tell him and the rest of them that since Norry was born."

I stuck my tongue out at both of them, secure in the knowledge that Brian couldn't grab it. Norry tried, though, making Brian laugh.

"Maybe if you sang to him," Brian suggested mischievously, "he'd go back to sleep."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm not the one in the room who makes a living by singing, though, am I? Besides, we want him to go to sleep, not give him nightmares."

"You can't be that bad a singer," Brian insisted.

"He's not," Cindy piped up, and I shushed her like crazy in my mind.

Brian turned to face her on the couch. "How do you know that?"

"Because he used to sing all the time in university," she said, smiling. "Didn't he tell you about that?"

"No, no he didn't," Brian grinned. "He told me that he's a horrible singer, and he refuses to let me hear it."

"Well, he's not the best singer, but he's far from horrible," Cindy said, looking at me. "He's not about to get a recording contract or anything, but he can hold a tune."

"Why won't you sing for me?" Brian asked me.

"What's that, Norry? You want to go into the kitchen? Sure," I laughed as I headed for the door.

Brian, Cindy and Jeff laughed. "That's pretty low, Nate," Jeff called after me. "Using a baby to make your escape."

"Low but effective," I called back.

"Fine," Cindy said. "We'll just have to tell Brian about that party you and Andy had in university. What was the name of that exchange student you were trying to impress again?"

I was back in the room before she was even done. "Don't you dare."

"No no, I want to hear this," Brian said, sitting forward in his seat.

"I don't think I ever found out what his name was," Jeff said, ignoring my glare. "Remember? He wanted everyone to call him by that nickname of his. What was it?"

Three pair of eyes turned to me. Four, if you count Norry. "Thor," I said, giving up.

"Thor?" Brian asked, then started to laugh.

"That's it!" Cindy said, laughing. "I remember thinking that it wasn't appropriate because he was well-built, but he certainly wasn't Thor-like."

I blushed. "His name was Thornton. It was a short form. I hardly think it's appropriate for you to be telling on me like this," I said. "Right here in front of an impressionable minor."

Cindy shook her head and continued to laugh. "Nate was so in lust with this guy," she said, turning back to Brian. "He and Andy had this party in our third year, and one of our friends brought Thor." She started to laugh again as soon as she said the name.

"Anyway," she said, composing herself. "Nate spent the entire night trying to get his attention. By three or so in the morning, Nate was finally drunk enough to actually speak to him. They got talking, and a small group of us formed on the balcony of the apartment."

Jeff took up the story. "So we were standing out there, and the apartment building was built sort of around a pool in the centre. There was a walkway around the pool, separating it from the building. The walkway wasn't very wide, and Thor mentioned that he thought it would be possible to jump from the balcony into the pool.

"Now, we were four floors up, and the walkway didn't look that wide from where we were. Sober, no one in their right mind would have even considered it, but at the time, it seemed like a great idea, and Nate volunteered."

I was blushing heavily now, and started to turn away from them, gently rocking Norry back and forth. Cindy started to laugh, then continued.

"So he strips down and climbs up onto the railing, holding Thor's hand for 'balance'. He's standing there in front of all of our friends, buck naked wearing only his shoes. We're all standing around him, encouraging him. Finally, he shouts 'Geronimo!' and leaps from the railing.

"I think we all realised that it was a bad idea about the time he made it to the second floor. We crowded around the railing, watching to see if we were going to have to call 911.

"Nate just barely cleared the walkway. About two inches closer in and he would have clipped the edge of the pool. Probably have done some serious damage."

"Probably?" I asked, looking at her. "I could very easily have killed myself that night. I still get the shivers thinking about it."

"I can't believe you did it," Brian said.

"Neither could we, the next morning," Jeff said. "I don't think Nate's been drunk many times since, have you?"

I shook my head. "You know that dream where you're falling? The one where you sit up in bed and gasp and wait for your heart to stop racing?" All three of them nodded. "That's what it was like, only it lasted a lot longer. I was sure as soon as my feet left the railing that I was going to die."

"But did you get the boy?" Brian asked, smiling.

"No," I laughed. "He was impressed all right, but he was straight as an arrow."

Brian laughed and sat back in his seat. "So what other things has he done that I should be aware of?"

"No you don't," I said as Cindy opened her mouth. "One word out of you and Norry here comes home with me. You can have Brian."

"Hey!" Brian protested. Cindy and Jeff just laughed.

I looked down at Norry and saw that his eyes were closed. He was gently chewing on a corner of the towel that Cindy had given me, and he had a fistful of the sleeve of my shirt. I smiled and turned around so that Cindy could see him.

"You're going to have to come more often," she said, standing up from the couch. "He really likes you."

"Well, he's not so bad himself," I smiled, detaching him from my shoulder and handing him to his mother.

"I should probably put him to bed for the night," she said.

"Brian and I should be going anyway," I said. "We've got to pick up Nick at the airport tomorrow, and then I have to go and talk to a class at the high school. After that, we hit the road."

"Oh, before I forget, here's the key to the cabin." Jeff took a key off of his keyring and handed it to Brian. "I called the caretaker, and he said everything would be ready for you."

"Thanks," Brian said, smiling and putting the key in his pocket. "It'll be nice to be away from people for a while."

"Well you guys enjoy yourselves. I doubt you'll even see another person up there."

"That's perfect. A week of not having to look over our shoulders for cameras, and not having to deal with anyone else."

Cindy smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek, thanking me for coming to dinner. She then shook Brian's hand and excused herself to put Norry to bed. Brian and I thanked her for dinner, and Brian stood from the couch.

Jeff walked us to the door, shaking both of our hands before he opened it. "Have a good time up there. I put in one of those little satellite dishes the last time we were there, so you won't be bored."

I groaned and rolled my eyes with a grin. "You just couldn't resist, could you? You had to go and turn it into a communications centre."

"Hey, I bet you won't be complaining when you're checking your email."

"But email is a necessity," I argued.

"So is TV," he countered with a grin.

"Thanks Jeff," Brian said, smiling at us both. "I'm sure he'll be the first one parked in front of it when we get there."

Jeff laughed and opened the door. "Just have a great time, and we'll see you next time you're in town. Don't worry about the key. Just leave it with Erron and we'll get it from him next time he's around."

"Oh, we intend on enjoying ourselves," I told him. "Thanks again for letting us use it."

"No problem. Talk to you later. And call more often!"

Brian and I both smiled and walked to the elevator. Jeff stayed in the doorway until we stepped inside.

"Well," Brian said once the elevator doors had closed. "That was interesting."

I sighed and leaned against the side of the car, taking his hand. "I should have warned you about them."

"What's with them anyway?"

"They're both freaks," I laughed. "In their own lovable and frustrating ways, of course."

"Well, let's start with Jeff," he said as we stepped out into the lobby of the building.

"Okay. How about we walk back to the apartment, and I'll fill you in?"

"Sounds good. Can I hold your hand?"

"Probably better not to. Just to be on the safe side."

Brian sighed heavily and let go of my hand as we walked out into the night.

"So what's the deal with Jeff?"

"All right. Jeff and Cindy met in our first year of university. The first week of our first year, actually. They started casually dating. Cindy was in a couple of my English classes, and she had a class or two with Andy as well.

"So basically, Cindy melded into our burgeoning circle of friends. Andy, me, Cindy, and a few other people from residence. When she and Jeff got really serious, she brought him into the mix as well, and he became a good friend to all of us."

"How long did it take for them to get really serious?"

"They were engaged by Christmas of that same year," I said, smiling at the shock on his face.

"They got engaged a couple of months after meeting?"

"Yep. Everyone thought they were nuts, but look at them now."

"So when did they get married?"

"Not until the summer after graduation. When Andy and I moved into our apartment together for third year, Cindy and Jeff got an apartment in the same building, but they waited to get married."

"Pardon me for saying so, but neither one of them seem like they're exactly 'fun' enough for you and Andy. And what about Erron?"

"I'll get to Erron later. I didn't meet him until fourth year. But you're right. Jeff and Cindy were sort of the tether that kept the rest of us on the ground. You have to remember that when we met, I was still completely in the closet, and I was a lot less outgoing than I am now. I was much more like those two than I was like Andy."

"Yeah. Jumping off of balconies sounds really withdrawn," Brian snickered.

"I can't believe you did something like that."

"Well, I was already out by then, and Andy was making it her mission in life to bring me out of my shell and get me a boyfriend. Plus, I had had more alcohol than many small countries consume in a year," I laughed.

"But when I came out, things sort of fell apart for me and Jeff for a while. Up until then, he and I had been the only guys in the group, really.

There were a few guys who tagged along every now and then, but not within the core group. Once I told them that I was gay, about six months after I told Andy, Jeff sort of freaked out."

"How bad was it?" Brian asked, looking over at me.

"Not really bad, not really good. Just strange. He didn't know what to think. He was raised to think that it was wrong, but he knew me, and that complicated things quite a bit. What you saw tonight from him was a huge improvement from his initial reaction. He's a great guy, and I love him, but he can't seem to get over actually seeing two guys together."

"But he knows that we're together," Brian pointed out. "What's the problem with us sitting together on the couch?"

"You kind of have to know Jeff. He's come a long way just to accept that I like guys. He's just uncomfortable taking that knowledge to the next step and actually having to deal with seeing it. I used to get really frustrated about it when Erron and I were together, but it's just the way he is. He'll either get over it eventually or he won't." I shrugged.

"He must have freaked when you started seeing Erron," Brian laughed.

I nodded and grinned, thinking about it. "Eventually, we stopped spending time with them if it was only the four of us. It was just too frustrating for us. At parties, at least there were other people to distract them, but one on one was tedious. Jeff doesn't particularly like Erron as it is, and he certainly didn't like us together. But Jeff wasn't Erron's biggest problem."

"Who was?"

"Cindy," I said, laughing.

"So what's her problem?"

"Well, remember when I told you that she didn't like public displays of affection?" Brian nodded. "Well, it's a pretty serious aversion. I don't think you get the entire picture from Erron the friend, but Erron the boyfriend is really really affectionate. It took some time before he learned to tone it down in front of her, which made everyone tense."

"She's that bad about it?" Brian asked.

I nodded. "Oh yeah, she's that bad. You should have seen her when she and Jeff got married. The only thing making her nervous about the entire day was having to kiss him in public like that. They don't even hold hands when someone else is around."

"I feel sorry for Norry," Brian said seriously. "Imagine growing up like that?"

"We're all sort of hoping that he'll manage to bring her around a bit," I smiled. "She's already more affectionate with him than with anyone else if there are people around. But the main problem between Cindy and Erron was that she really adores him. They get together for coffee all the time. His being so affectionate with me sort of disappointed her, and it put a bit of a strain on the friendship. Especially when you added in the fact that Jeff doesn't care for him."

"Does he know that Jeff doesn't like him?"

"Oh yeah. The feeling's pretty much mutual. That was why Jeff's attitude didn't bother him as much as it did me. He just didn't care. He used to wait for Cindy to leave the room, and then climb into my lap, just to bother Jeff," I laughed at the memory.

Brian laughed as well. "Sounds like Erron. So are there any other little quirks in the Jeff/Cindy situation that I should be aware of?"

"Can't think of any," I said, stopping. I turned to face Brian and took both of his hands. "But I do know that they both liked you, and they're both happy for us. Jeff might be a little squeamish about it, but he's fine. Cindy's ecstatic about it."

"That makes two of us."

"Make that three," I added, kissing him briefly.

"So," he said, starting to walk again. "How long were you and Erron together?"

"Oh no, that's a story for another time."

"I could always ask Erron," he pointed out.

"You could, or you could wait and hear the truth."

"Fine. I can wait."

"Good. Now let's get home."

To Be Continued...

*EXCERPT FROM: HYPNOSIS, by Dr. G.H. Estabrooks, c 1957.

There you go, folks. Hope you enjoyed it. At least, if you didn't, you didn't have to wait so long this time to not enjoy it. :)

Again, if you're interested, keep an eye on dls-stories.homepage.com for the new story, as well as an html version of this and all the previous installments of 'Brian & Me'. Once I come up with a name for it, it'll be there. :)

Thanks for reading :)

~D~

Next: Chapter 31: Brian and Me 99 100


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