Brian and Me

By D LS

Published on Aug 18, 1999

Bisexual

Okay, first things first. This story is a complete work of fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about anyone. While some of the characters may be loosely based on real people that I know, none are meant to actually represent anyone, particularly any of the members of the Backstreet Boys. We may wish that they were gay, and maybe some of them even are, but I'm certainly not about to say that they are. :)

As usual, if you are offended or made uncomfortable by material concerning sexual relations between consenting adult men, lighten up or go somewhere else. Also, if it is in any way illegal for you to be reading this type of thing, please don't. Or do, just don't get caught and feel very guilty. ;)

If any of the BSB happen to be reading this (hey, we can dream can't we?), feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think.

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to write, and encourage them and others to keep doing so. It's nice to see that people like the story. Also, I happen to be an email junkie (which JB, EG and Yuli could attest to) and I live for new mail. :)

***Thanks go to Yuli and Tyler for their extra-nice comments. It makes it much easier to sit down and write with people like you to encourage me.

***Special thanks also to JB and EG (author of Adam, Zach and BSB), both of whom read over what you are about to read, either in whole or in part, and offered their opinions. There is no doubt that the story is better than it would have been without them.

***Also, if Paul happens to be reading this, I tried to respond to your email, but it's wouldn't go through. I'm not ignoring you, I just can't get a reply through.

Drop me a line at DLS_stories@hotmail.com and let me know what you think

Enjoy!

PART 25

"Brian, don't be ridiculous. I can't go with you on tour," I said with a smile as I sat down on the bed, pulling him into my lap.

"Sure you can. I can set it up with management. They could have everything ready by the time we get off the plane."

"No, Brian. I can't just up and leave with you like that. What about the other guys? What about my book?" As much as I argued, I was starting to be intrigued by the notion.

"Don't worry about the guys. Kevin, Nick and AJ will be cool with it."

"What about Howie?" I asked, alarmed that I was even beginning to consider doing something so ridiculous. The idea of being away from Brian for so long wasn't a happy one, but my joining him on his tour was ludicrous, wasn't it?

"He'll deal with it. How's he going to see how serious we are about a relationship if we're never around each other?"

"Brian, I have the book to deal with, and meetings coming up with the publishers and my agent..."

"You said yourself earlier that you weren't in a big hurry to get anywhere, since you can write anywhere. Why not come with me? You can still get your writing done, and we can be together," he said pleadingly.

"Brian, you know I want to be with you."

"Then come," he said, kissing the hollow of my neck.

"I can't, Brian," I said decisively. Brian looked up sadly and stood from my lap, walking over to the window. "Brian..."

"No. If you can't, you can't," he said, looking out onto the balcony. I could tell by the slight waver in his voice that he was holding back tears. That decided me. No matter how idiotic the notion, I wasn't going to be responsible for making Brian cry.

Walking over to him, I put my hands on his shoulders and turned him to look at me. "Brian, you know that I want us to be together as much as you do, but I really can't right now. Tell you what. Let me get a start on the book, and get my meetings over with in a couple of weeks, and then we'll talk about it. If everything's working for me, I'll come join you."

Brian looked up into my eyes. "But that's weeks away," he said sadly.

I nodded. "It's the best I can do, Brian. If I'm going to take off with you for god knows how long, I have to tie up some things. I have to talk to Andrea, say goodbye to Mom and Dad, do something with my apartment in Toronto, and set things up with Celia and my editor. I have a lot of stuff to manage before I can go."

Brian could see how much I wanted to go with him, and he nodded his understanding. "Alright. I guess you can't just leave like that. But you are going to come?"

I nodded in return. "As soon as I get things tidied up and out of the way, and as soon as I have a good start on the book, I'll be there."

Brian gave me a hug before pulling away again. When he did, he was wearing his trademark grin. "I guess until then, we're going to have some big phone bills."

I laughed. "I suppose we will."

Before Brian could grab his bags, I lay my hand on his arm to get his attention. When he looked back at me, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box. With a smile, I handed it to him. "I want you to have this."

Taking it, Brian gently pulled the top off of the box. Inside was a cord necklace like the one I had with the jade 'N', but instead of a letter, this one had a small thin silver rectangle dangling from it.

Lifting it to his eyes, Brian began to read the words that were stamped on it. "Absence diminishes little passions and increases big ones," he read on one side, then turned it over in his hand, "as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire."

"My mother had that made for my father shortly after they were married," I said with a smile as I remembered my parents. "My father was in the military, and he was away a lot. So she had that made so that he would always remember her, and later me, waiting for him."

"Nate," Brian said, a tear forming in his eye but not yet falling. "I can't take this. It's your father's"

"No. It's mine now, and I'm giving it to you. So you'll have a reminder that I'm thinking of you while you're gone," I said, smiling at him.

Brian leaned in, and we shared a kiss so sweet and loving that we might have stayed there in each others arms all day if Kevin hadn't chosen that moment to come looking for us.

"Oh, sorry guys," he said, sticking his head in the doorway. "But we really have to get going."

"Coming, Kev," Brian said with a sigh, grabbing his luggage. I helped him with it, taking my own overnight bag as well, and followed him from the room.

Everyone was waiting for us when we walked out into the lobby, and they stood as they saw us coming. We made our way out of the hotel to the waiting limo, and I was glad to see John sitting behind the wheel. Brian and I threw our stuff in the trunk and then climbed in the back.

As soon as the door was shut, we pulled away from the curb. Leaning over, I started to lower the window so I could talk to John. "Hey John!" I said as soon as it was down.

"Your Royal Highness," he said with a laugh. The rest of the guys just looked at me with curiosity. "How's it going?"

"Well, except for the fact that you're helping take Brian away from me, things are okay I guess," I laughed. I heard four distinct gasps come from behind me, then heard Brian telling them that it was alright.

"Well, I'm sorry to see you two separated, but I'm just doing my job," he laughed. "I'm sure you'll manage."

"I suppose I will, but don't expect me to be happy about it," I joked with a laugh before raising the window again.

"What was that all about?" Kevin asked as soon as he was sure that John couldn't hear us.

"John was our driver the night Nate and I went out," Brian explained.

"And you told him it was a date?" Nick asked.

"No," I joined the conversation. "He figured it out for himself. But don't worry," I quickly added, seeing the expression on Kevin's face. "He promised not to tell a soul. Besides, I'm sure he's aware of what could happen if you put your mind to getting him fired."

Kevin sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I guess we've got no choice but to trust him."

Seeing Kevin relax, everyone else did as well. "Nate," Brian said suddenly.

"Hmmm?"

"Can you help me with this?" he asked, holding out the necklace I had given him.

"Sure," I replied with a smile, reaching out for it.

Nick had it before I could get it, and, after reading it, passed it around to the rest of the guys in the car before it finally came back to me. Unfastening the closure, I leaned forward and brought it around Brian's neck.

"That's nice," AJ said after reading it. But what's with you and quotations?"

"What?" I asked, turning my attention to AJ while still holding the two ends of the necklace together.

"Well, there was that one that you had Robbie reciting at the restaurant last night. The one about hatred." I nodded. "And this one on the necklace."

Brian looked around at me, almost pulling the necklace out of my hands. "And the one you told me last night, the one that your mother used to tell you when you were little."

Putting my fingers to the sides of Brian's head, I turned it back around and finished snapping it together at the back. "Well, it comes from my mom. She used to love to give me quotations from different sources when I asked her questions or had a problem. I remember one time I came home from school and told her that I hated my english teacher. She sat me down at the table and wrote out a list of different quotations and had me read them. One of them was the one that Robbie said last night. The next day, she asked me if I understood what they meant."

"Why?" Nick asked as I sat back down beside Brian.

"It was her way of teaching different lessons. Instead of just telling me that it was wrong to hate, she had me read what others had said about hatred and think about what they meant, letting me come to my own conclusions. Those are the lessons that I remember most."

"So that's what you did with Robbie?"

I nodded. "Whenever he had a question about life, or a problem that he thought was too big for him to solve, he would come to me, and we would sit and talk about it. I would give him a list, just like my mom did for me, and let him think about it until he came up with an answer that he understood and believed in."

"So you're telling me that you've got a million little expressions floating around in your head?"

"Sort of, yeah. It was one of the few things that my mother and I shared. It was a special thing for both of us, and after she died, it became even more important. Almost a way of remembering her, and being close to her," I said, looking at the silver medallion hanging around Brian's neck. My mother's face was suddenly very clear in my mind, and I had a hard time continuing. "She used to use those expressions as a way of avoiding saying difficult things, and there were a lot of difficult things that we never got a chance to say."

I felt Brian's hand take mine and squeeze. I squeezed back and smiled, giving myself a mental shake and returning to the present. "Anyway, that's where it comes from," I said with smile to AJ, who returned it, but there was a certain sadness in it.

No one really said much more during the ride to the airport. Before we knew it, John was stopping the car and getting out. He came around and opened the door, signalling for the boys to get out of the car.

Brian stayed on my left side, holding my hand, as the rest left the car. Kevin got up first, shaking my hand and making sure that he would be seeing me soon. I assured them all that I would be visiting them as soon as I could get away. Brian and I had decided to wait to bring up the subject of joining them on their tour until it was a little more certain.

Kevin smiled and got out. Howie followed him, not saying anything, but shaking my hand. I was just happy that we were at least making some progress. AJ followed suit, pausing to call me a wuss, and then Nick.

"So you're going to come visit, right?" he asked as I gave him a hug.

"Yeah. I just need to tie up some loose ends, and make sure I get a start on the book, and then you just try and stop me from coming," I said with a smile.

"Alright then, I'll be seeing you soon, man," he smiled, getting out.

John closed the door after Nick left the car, giving me and Brian a moment alone. He was immediately on my lap and in my arms.

"Promise me you'll come," he said, starting to cry a little.

I rubbed his back and rested my head on his shoulder. "I promise. As soon as I can get there."

John knocked on the door, then paused before opening it. "Brian, Kevin says that you really have to go now. The plane is going to be boarding any minute."

Brian sighed, then leaned in and kissed me. Knowing that it would be the last time we would be together for weeks at least, we both put our all into it. John had to clear his throat three times before he finally succeeded in getting us apart again.

Brian sat back up and ran his hand along my jaw, making me smile at the tenderness of it. "Call me," he said as he prepared to get out.

"If you don't call me first," I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too, Nate," he said, bringing his hand up to touch the silver at his neck. "Good luck on the book."

"Thanks," I said, still smiling. "I'll talk to you tonight?"

"You better," he said, then got out of the car.

John shut the door again and got in the driver's side, but didn't pull away. He waited until I saw Brian enter the terminal, with a last unhappy wave back at me, before he started the car and got it moving.

I switched seats so that I was facing the front of the limo and sat back, letting myself go. I cried for a few moments in silence, then wiped the tears away, deciding that they weren't doing anyone any good. I leaned to the side and hit the button lowering the interior window again.

John looked at me in the mirror, and saw the tracks the tears had left. "You okay Nate?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It's kinda lonely back here all alone, though. Can I ride up front?"

"Sure. Just let me pull over," John smiled.

"Don't bother," I said quickly, launching myself through the window and wriggling into the front seat. I wound up with my head on the floor and my knees in the seat. John laughed to himself as I got myself turned around again and buckled in beside him.

"You know, it would have been a whole lot easier if I had just pulled over," he said, still chuckling.

"But not nearly as much fun," I replied with a laugh of my own.

"So when are you going to see him again?" John asked quietly, as though he was wary of bringing it up.

"I'm supposed to get my stuff together and wrapped up and then I'm going to visit them for a while," I said, letting him know that it was alright. "I just have to get my book started and take care of some business with my editor."

"So my wife can look forward to a new book in the near future?" he said with a smile.

"Well, I don't know about the near future, but I've got something in the works. I'll make sure she gets one of the first copies."

"You don't have to do that, Nate," he said.

"I know I don't have to. I want to. It's the least I can do for making you call me Your Royal Highness," I laughed. "Did you see the looks on their faces?"

He smiled. "I saw. I also heard their reaction when they found out I knew about you and Brian. I hope they know I'm not going to run to the tabloids or anything."

"I told them that you wouldn't say anything. Kevin seemed to take it well, and if there was one of them that was going to have a coronary over it, it would have been him."

"I'm glad. My wife would kill me if I did anything to give you any grief," he laughed.

"And that's exactly why she gets a copy of my book when it comes out," I grinned.

"She went ape-shit over that signed copy of 'Blue Sky' you sent home for her," he said, making us both laugh.

John dropped me off at the condo and I thanked him for everything. As usual, he just waved it off and said that he was only doing his job. I waved as he pulled away, turning the limo back into traffic, then went and unlocked the front door.

Andrea was nowhere to be found. I found a note stuck to the fridge saying that she had gone shopping, but would be back soon. There was a short postscript at the bottom telling me not to have a nap because she wanted all the details as soon as she got in.

I smiled to myself and picked up my bag again. Taking it into the bedroom, I threw it on the floor beside my closet and collapsed onto the bed.

I lay there, thinking about where to start getting things straightened up so I could join Brian. Before long, I heard Andrea's door shut, and then the front door burst open. There was a moment of silence before I heard the grocery bags being put on the counter. "You better not be sleeping, you little shit!" she called out as she made her way to my room.

"Now is that any way to talk to your best friend?" I asked with a laugh as she came in.

"No, but she's not here right now," she grinned, nudging me to the side and then laying down beside me on the bed. "So?"

"So?" I mimicked with a smile.

"How did it go?"

"It was great. We went to dinner, and Brian had arranged for Robbie and the rest of the guys to come with us!" I said excitedly, knowing how much she missed Robbie.

"What? How did he pull that off?" she asked, sitting up.

"He had the tour manager call his mom and make up some story about Robbie winning a dinner with the guys," I said with a smile. "It was fantastic. He's grown at least an inch, and he told me to say hello to you and Mom and Dad."

"How's he doing?" she asked as she lay back down beside me.

"He's good. He blames himself for my not being able to come around anymore, though. Apparently he's the one who showed the interview to his mom."

"But it's still not his fault!" Andrea protested. "Poor kid's been beating himself up over his mom being a bitch."

I nodded my agreement. "I think I managed to make him see that it would have gotten out anyway. We talked about it, and he seemed to be getting through it. On the way home, he asked Brian if he was my boyfriend," I giggled.

"What did he say?"

"He told him that we were dating, but that he couldn't tell anyone. Robbie was really happy."

"There's got to be some way to get his mom to see reason," Andrea reasoned. "But I can't think of anything that's liable to work."

"Neither can I," I said sadly. "Until we figure something out, I guess we'll just have to put up with it and hope that she realises what she's doing."

"So what happened after you dropped Robbie off at home?" Andrea asked, changing the subject before I could get completely bummed out.

"John drove us to the beach, and we went for a long walk along the water."

"Romantic," Andrea sighed, making me laugh.

"And then we went back to the hotel."

"You got lucky," she laughed.

"And how would you know that?" I asked, trying not to blush.

"A woman always knows," she said wisely with a sniff. "Even when a woman isn't involved, a woman knows," she added with another laugh.

"Very funny," I smiled.

"So how was it?"

"It was..." I motioned vainly with my hands. I was at a loss for words.

"Come on! You're a writer for Christ's sake! Spit it out!" she grinned, nudging me again.

"It was wonderful. It was sweet, loving, touching. It was beautiful," I said, closing my eyes with a smile. "And it was private. Between Brian and I. That's all you're getting."

"You can't stop there!" she wailed, sitting up. "You know you're going to tell me."

I shook my head and opened my eyes again. "Not this time. Please, Andy, let me have this one. I want to keep it."

Andrea looked into my eyes and sighed. "You really do love him, don't you?"

I nodded and let my eyes slip closed again. "I gave him my dad's medallion," I said quietly.

"The one your mom had made for him?"

I nodded again.

"Holy shit, Nate. That's just about the only thing you have of his. You really do love him."

"Andrea, I didn't fall. I'm still falling. Remember how I felt when I was working with Robbie?"

"Yes," she said, laying back down. "Why?"

"Well, when I'm with Brian, it almost feels the same way, but it's much more strong."

"That makes sense," she said, turning her head to look at me.

"What does?" I asked, turning to face her.

"Well, when you were spending time with Robbie, two things happened. You were able to access and share with someone on a level that you weren't able to with your parents, and haven't been able to except with me, and to some extent with my parents. You had access to unconditional love and support. But you also provided it for Robbie. That boy has a lot of things going on in his world, and you were an anchor for him. Bottom line, you needed Robbie just as much as he needed you.

"With Brian, it's the same thing. For whatever reason, the two of you click. You need each other. It's stronger because you didn't just share yourself with him. You gave yourself to him."

I sat up and looked down at her with surprise. She had just said exactly what I had been feeling. "How did you come up with that?"

"Come on, Nate. I'm closer to you than anyone else is, though I have a feeling I'm going to be getting some competition from Brian in the future," she said with a smile. "I know how much that necklace means to you. It's the one thing that you have that positively links your parents hearts. Other than you, it was the one concrete thing that showed how much they loved each other. You didn't give him a necklace. You gave him access to something that you don't even know how to share yet."

"I shared it with you," I said, laying back down.

"No you didn't. You gave it to me, the same as you did Brian. When you told me about that medallion, and about your parents, you didn't ask for anything in return. I doubt Brian realises how much it took for you to do that, but I do."

"But I didn't tell you about that until after we moved down here, and that was years after we met," I said with a sigh. "What if it's too soon with Brian?"

"I think you know it's not," she said quietly.

"But how can I be sure?" I asked uncertainly, looking at her.

"Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"What would your mom say?"

Her question caught me off guard, and the flood of emotion that came over me was overwhelming. I closed my eyes, and I immediately saw her in my mind's eye. A tear worked its way down my cheek as I remembered her, and thought about all of the things that she had taught me, and all the things that I never told her. Suddenly, her voice was in my head, and I spoke along with her. "Love does not express itself on command; it cannot be called out like a dog to its master--merely because one thinks he needs to see it. Love is autonomous; it obeys only itself." I opened my eyes to see Andrea looking at me.

"Which means?" she asked quietly.

"Which means," I replied, a smile slowly spreading on my face. Andrea was wearing the same expression that my mother always had when I finally came up with an answer. A mixture of pride, happiness, and love. "Which means, I said again, "don't question love. Just be glad it came in the first place."

Andrea grinned and reached over for a half-assed hug. I smiled to myself as I thought of how much Andrea had reminded me of my mother in that moment. It made her seem less far away.

"So what? Then you just got up and went to the airport?"

"Well, we got up and had breakfast with the guys. Turns out they're all reading my book," I said with a laugh.

"All of them?"

I nodded. "All of them. Even Howie," I added, knowing what she was getting at. "He said, and I quote: 'It's not bad.' I realise it doesn't sound like much, but it's a definite breakthrough where Howie is concerned.

Andrea smiled. "I knew he couldn't stay mad at such a pretty-boy."

I jabbed her in the ribs. "Just because you're butt-ugly doesn't make me a pretty-boy," I said with a laugh. "Oh, and Nick gave me a bunch of CD's to replace the one you melted."

"I melted? No no no, my friend. I clearly recall you holding the torch."

"Well, it doesn't matter now. We've got all of the CD's they've released all over the world now," I said, reaching into my bag and handing the box of CD's to her. I also took out the envelope Brian had given me with the two pictures inside. "Brian and AJ gave me this," I said as I handed it to her.

The first picture that she removed was the one Brian had drawn on. Laughing at it, she got up and pinned it to the wall, right beside the one with the hole in it, then came back to the bed. Reaching into the envelope again, she withdrew the picture that AJ had taken in the hall of the hotel.

"Awwwww!" she exclaimed as she looked at it. "You two are so cute!"

"Cut it out!" I laughed, trying to take the picture back from her.

She jumped up from the bed and continued to admire the picture. "We've got to get this framed," she laughed. "OH! And we have to show it to Mom and Dad. They'll want a copy of it."

"Well, I'll see if I can get a copy for them. AJ said that their management handled all of that stuff so that copies don't get around to the public. Until then," I said, taking the picture and putting it back in the envelope, "it's going right in my desk drawer." I crossed to the desk and put the envelope inside.

"Alright," Andrea sighed, sitting back down on the bed. "So what now? When do you see Brian again?"

"Well, I kinda have to talk to you about that," I said, sitting beside her. "He wants me to go on tour with him. And I agreed."

Andrea's jaw hit her chest. "But, you have to write the book, and what about your apartment?"

"Relax. I'm not going today," I said with a grin. "I told him I'd come with him after I got some things ready. I have to do something with my apartment in Toronto, and I have to arrange things with Pete and Celia. There are some meetings I have to make in a couple of weeks, and I need to get started on the book."

Andrea nodded. "So when are you going?"

"I'm not sure. I'm going to try and get started on the book first thing in the morning, and then I'm going to talk to Pete and Celia. Celia I know I can handle, but Pete might be a problem. He kinda likes to know where I am in case I need to explain something to him a billion times."

"So you're going to keep Pete?"

"I still don't know. It'll depend on how he takes me going on tour. If he doesn't like it, I'll get Celia to arrange for me to work with someone who does."

"Well, you shouldn't have trouble getting someone to take care of the apartment for you. You still have a ton of friends in Toronto. The problem will be what to tell them about why you're going on tour."

I hadn't thought of that. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," I said dismissively. "First things first. I'm starving. Lunch?"

PART 26

"No Celia, I'm not calling to debate this with you. I will be going."

"But Nate, you can't just..."

"Celia, there's no reason why not. I'll have my laptop. I can still get my writing done, and email the pages to you and Pete," I argued with a sigh. I had thought that Celia would be easy to convince, but she was proving to be a royal pain in the ass about my leaving.

"What if we need to get ahold of you?" she asked.

"Well, I'll have my cell phone, and I'll make sure that you get a copy of the tour schedule so you know where I am. Listen, Celia, I need to do this."

"But why?" There was the question I was dreading. I couldn't tell her. Celia was fine with me being gay, but I couldn't take the risk of outing Brian.

"Look, Celia. I just need a change of scenery. You know, something different to get the brain working again. The guys offered to let me come, and it seemed like the perfect thing. Do you have any idea how many interesting people, how many interesting characters they meet over the course of a tour?" I had decided that the best way to take her and Pete on was with the excuse that the trip would provide me with inspiration for the book.

"Nate, we both know I can't very well tell you not to go. Hell, I can, but we both know that you wouldn't listen. So I guess I'll support this with Pete, but you have to make sure that we know where you are at all times. I need to be able to get in touch with you."

I smiled at Andrea, who was sitting across the table from me doing her crossword, and gave her the thumbs-up. She grinned and filled in another word. "Celia, I promise. I'll get Kevin to fax the schedule and hotel information as soon as I get talking to him. One thing though: that information stays in your hands, no one else even gets a glimpse of it. If you need me, you call me. Not an assisstant or a secretary. I want you dialing those numbers with your own little fingers. Got it?"

Celia laughed into the phone. "No problem, Nate. You want me to call Pete for you and let him know?"

I sighed. "No, I'll take care of it. How serious are you about being able to get me another editor?"

"I'm completely serious. 'Blue Sky' is selling like mad. They'll do just about anything for you. I already made a couple of calls, just in case. They're willing to set you up with someone else. All you have to do is give the word."

"That's good to know. Pete doesn't know that you've been calling, does he?"

"Nope. As far as he knows, he's your favourite person under the sun," she laughed. "You want me to call and burst his bubble?"

"Nah. Right now it's just a little academic exercise. It's just nice to know. If Pete's going to give me a really hard time about this trip, I like to know I have options. You know?" I laughed.

"Right. Well, let me know. It wouldn't be a problem, though, to hook you up with another editor."

"Thanks Celia. And thanks for not busting me too much over this. I really do think it will be good for me and the book."

"No problem, Nate. As long as I know how to get talking to you, you can write on the moon if you want," she laughed. "So the Backstreet Boys, huh? Which one is it?"

I coughed and sat up a little in the chair, putting my hand over the mouthpiece of the phone so that Celia didn't hear. Andrea looked up sharply from the paper.

Taking my hand from the phone, I tried to gain some control over my voice. "What do you mean which one is it?" I asked, hoping I sounded confused rather than surprised and panicked.

"You know what I mean. Which one is it?"

"Celia, I don't know what you're trying to imply, but I'm just friends with them. We met last year, and again after I was on Rosie, and we hit it off. They invited me to come along, and I'm going. It's as simple as that," I lied. I crossed my fingers, holding them up so that Andrea could see.

She laughed and made a tsk tsk sound in my direction before returning to the crossword.

"Alright Nate, have your little secrets," Celia laughed. "Listen, I've got a conference call in a little bit, so I better let you go. Take care, and get me that information as soon as you can, okay?"

"You got it." Celia and I exchanged a few more pleasantries before I finally got off the phone.

"One down, one to go," Andrea smiled up from the paper. "But I have a feeling that this one is going to be the hard one."

I nodded and dialed the number in New York. "Peter Renfield, please," I said as the receptionist answered the phone. I then had the privilege of listening to the finest of elevator music while I waited for Pete to answer. I had just begun swaying along with the music, drawing a couple of stares from Andrea in the process, when he picked up.

"Peter Renfield," he said in his most business-like tone.

"Hey Pete, it's Nate Healy."

"Nate! Hope you enjoyed your vacation. Looking forward to some new pages in the near future."

"Well, I just got up, so I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little longer," I said with a laugh. "I'm actually calling to let you know about a slight change in plans with regard to the book."

"I'm not liking this already, Nate," Pete said worriedly.

"No no no. Nothing like that. I'm just going to be writing it on the road, rather than here in LA or in Toronto."

"What do you mean by 'on the road?'"

"Well, and remember I'm still writing the book, I'm going to be going along with the Backstreet Boys on their current tour," I said, cringing as I expected him to explode.

"Seriously, Nate. What are you talking about?"

I shook my head to myself. Leave it to this intellectual marvel to think I was kidding. "I'm telling you, Pete. I'm going to be on tour with the Backstreet Boys. The guys asked me to join them, and I agreed."

"You can't."

I brought my feet down to the floor and sat up as straight as I could. Andrea looked up, at first smiling, but after she saw my face, it changed to a look of concern. "What do you mean I can't?"

"I can't allow you to just take off and run all over the country. You've got a contract with this firm, and it's my job to make sure that you fulfill it. If you're off in god-knows-where, how am I going to be able to do my job?"

"What the hell are you talking about? You can't just tell me that I can't do something. I have a contract. That doesn't mean that you own me, it means that I write things, and you edit them, then make them into a book. That's it." I said, my anger rising. Pete was edging dangerously close to the proverbial last straw.

"Listen, Nate. Let me explain it to you. I have to make sure that you're getting your pages done. In order to do that, I have to be able to reach you. In order to do that I have to know where the hell you are. I can't do any of that if you're off on tour with a band."

"Pete, let me explain it to you," I said, trying very hard to keep my anger out of my voice. "I'm going. I'll be taking my laptop so I can work. I will also have my cell phone if I need to talk to you or you need to get ahold of me. For Christ's sake, I'm not going to Mars."

"Sorry Nate, I can't let you go on tour with the Backstreet Boys. You have commitments to this company, and I have to see to it that you live up to them."

"Well I'm sorry Pete, but I'm going. There's not a damned thing you can do about it."

"Nate, as your editor, I can't allow..."

"Pete," I said, quickly pulling the phone over in front of me. "I've got a great idea about how we can resolve this and still keep both writer and my editor happy."

"And what would that be?" he asked. I could tell that he was mad about my questioning his absolute and all-powerful authority over the little peasant writer, but didn't really care anymore.

"Hold on a second, will you?" I asked, quickly putting him on hold and pressing a few buttons on the phone. After a moment, I could hear the call going through.

"Hello?" Celia said into the other end.

"It's Nate, Celia," I said.

"Oh, Nate. What's up? Did you talk to Pete?"

"Yeah. Listen, do you still have a minute before you have that conference call? I need you to do something for me."

"No problem. I've got a couple of minutes."

"Great. I've got Pete on the other line. I'm going to make it a three-way call, okay?"

"Sure," she said. I could tell she was smiling, and had an idea what I was going to do.

"Hold on." I hit a couple more buttons, and heard a slight click, letting me know that the call was connected. "Pete?"

"I'm still here," he said uncertainly.

"Good. We've got a three-way call going now, Pete. Celia? You still there?"

"I'm here Nate," she said. She was doing a good job of keeping the smile out of her voice, but it was definitely there.

"Good," I said again. "Now, I've got a way we can work this out. I get to go on my trip, and Pete's job gets a little easier."

"And what, praytell, would that be?" Pete asked.

"You're fired, Pete. As soon as we're done here, Celia, I want you to make those calls we talked about."

"No problem. I've got them on speed-dial," she laughed. She was really enjoying this. Sometimes, you couldn't help but love her.

"You can't just fire me, Nate," Pete growled, the anger in his voice coming through crystal clear.

"I assure you he can, Pete," Celia came to my aid. "I've already been discussing it with the company, and they are willing to assign Nate another editor at his say so, which I believe he just gave."

"I did," I said with a grin. "See Pete? I get to go on my trip, and your job gets easier."

"You also said that I would be happy about it, remember?" he growled into the phone.

"Actually, I said that both me and my editor would be happy. And I'm sure they will be, once they find out that they're my editor. And I'm pretty sure Celia's happy."

"Ecstatic," she laughed.

"Well then. I know Celia has a couple of calls to make, and I have some travel arrangements to take care of, so I guess I'll say goodbye. Talk to you later, Celia?"

"You bet," she responded and I heard a click as she hung up.

"Nate you can't do this," Pete said quietly.

"I just did," I said coldly. "And if you recall, it's that kind of talk that started this whole mess." I hung up the phone and put my head down on the table with a sigh.

"You're such a bitch!" Andrea laughed, placing her hand on my arm.

"Piss off," I said with a smile as I raised my head to look at her. "You know I hate stuff like that."

"Bull. You hate it afterward, but I've seen the look on your face while you're doing it, and you were having a great time. Admit it."

I couldn't help but grin. "I'm a bitch," I laughed.

"See sweetie, that wasn't so hard," she said, patting my arm. "You want a coffee?"

"God yes. Then I have to call Erron and see if he'll look after my apartment while I'm gone."

"I have a better idea," Andrea said as she set the mug in front of me.

"I'm listening."

"Well, how about if I wrap some things up here, and first thing next week you and I take a trip north for a few days?" she said with a smile.

"You can get away just like that?"

"I have some time coming, and I've been meaning to go back and see everybody anyway," she shrugged.

"It's a plan then," I grinned. "But let's not call and tell them about it. Let's make it a surprise."

We agreed, and I got up. "I'm going to try and do a little bit of writing."

"Alright. I have to go into the office and start arranging to take next week off, so I'll see you tonight," she said as she too rose from the table.

"You bet. See you tonight." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and disappeared into my room. I heard her leave a few minutes later, as I was setting up my computer at my desk.

When it was ready, I grabbed one of the CD's Nick had given me, and put it into the machine. Then I opened the program and got ready to write. I had heard Stephen King say once that 'it is hard to begin.' Staring at the blank screen with the flashing cursor, I understood what he meant. I leaned over and opened my filing cabinet, pulling out the notes that I had made so far for the story.

Reading through them, I had an idea. I put the notes aside, and turned back to the keyboard. I sighed and began typing.

It was hours later that I heard the phone ringing. Looking at the screen, I hit the save button and ran to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Nathaniel Healy?"

"That's me," I laughed. "But it's Nate."

"Sorry. This is Carrie Redding, your new editor. I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes."

"Sure, just let me take care of something, okay?" I asked, setting the phone down and running back into the bedroom. I grabbed the computer and brought it back to the kitchen with me, setting it on the phone beside the table.

Picking up the receiver again, I resumed talking. "Sorry about that. I was just getting started on the book, and I wanted to get it."

"No problem. I can let you go, if you want to get back to it. The last thing I want to do on my first day is interfere with you writing," she laughed.

"Actually, it's not a problem at all. It's about time I took a break. I've been at it for a few hours."

"If you don't mind my getting all editorial on you already, how is it going?" she asked. I was starting to like her already.

"It's going pretty well. Better than I expected it would, anyway," I replied.

"That's good. Look, I just wanted to let you know that I got your file from Mr. Renfield's office, and there were a few notes of his that I didn't quite understand. I was wondering if you and I could talk about it for a moment or two?"

"No problem," I said with a smile. "Thought I'm not surprised that you would be confused by his comments."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Let's just say that Pete and I never really worked on the same wavelength. He didn't understand a lot of things, and trying to get through to him required and extraordinary amount of mental gymnastics," I laughed.

"Oh. Well, let's hope that you and I work together better than that. Wouldn't want you firing me too," she said.

"Okay, that's the first thing that we need to get clear. I didn't fire Pete because he didn't understand what I wanted to do with the book, or because he argued with me over it. That's what an editor is supposed to do. Of course, we may have had a bit harder time connecting than would have been ideal, but he was a very good editor."

"Then why are you not still working with him, if I may be so bold?"

"Pete thought he was indispensable. Turns out he wasn't," I laughed, getting a chuckle out of her. "I'm not going to lie to you Carrie, my getting a new editor was in the cards for a while. The end product turned out great with Pete editing my stuff, but trying to explain it and get anything done was just too exhausting. But what finally did it was his less-than-enthusiastic reaction to a little trip that I'm planning."

"I understand. Again, I hope we work better as a team. Where are you going?"

"Well, what would you say if I told you I was going on tour with the Backstreet Boys?" I asked with a smile.

"I'd say that I didn't know you could sing," she laughed.

"Very good," I laughed. "I can't sing. But I am going on tour. They invited me to come along, so I'm packing up the computer and hitting the road."

"Sounds like fun. You're still going to get the writing done, though, right?"

"No problem there. With their schedules I should have lots of time on my own to get things going. You're really okay with the trip?"

"Sure. As long as I know how to get in touch with you."

"You're a sweetheart, Carrie," I grinned, relieved. "I'll have Kevin fax you the information on the tour schedule and hotel reservations, on the condition that only you see them. The last thing I need is for me to be responsible for them getting mobbed at the hotel."

Carrie laughed and promised to keep it to herself. "And who knows? I may have to come and visit you to make sure that you're working. I don't suppose you know anyone who could find tickets to a concert, do you?" she hinted.

"I think something could be arranged," I replied. I was really beginning to like her. "So you want to go over my ideas for the book? I'm sure I can help you decipher Pete's confused scribblings."

"Sure. I've got the rough outline in front of me right now, as well as the character list. He's got something about a daughter scribbled into the margin, with an arrow pointing to Sam. Underneath it he has 'tell Nate won't work.' Any idea what that's supposed to mean?"

"It means that he wasn't paying attention," I chuckled. "Tell you what. I'll email you all of my notes on the book, and then you and I can go over it and just ignore what Pete wrote. That way we can start fresh."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll call you back as soon as I get it, and we can take a look."

"Great. I'll send it out now, and then we'll talk," I said, hanging up. I sighed and got down to work.

PART 27

"You just about ready, slowpoke?" Andrea chided me. "They won't hold the plane you know."

"I'm coming, I'm coming. I just had to pack up my computer. I'm right in the middle of something really interesting, and I want to finish it on the plane," I explained, dragging my suitcase and computer bag into the room.

"So it's going well?" she asked, taking down the keys to the van. I had returned the rental car the day before.

"Better than I had expected it to, with having to get used to a new editor and all."

"So you like this one?"

"Carrie's amazing. She completely understands where I want to take the story." I said excitedly.

"And she doesn't mind you gallavanting all over the country with your boyfriend?" Andrea asked with a smile.

"Gallavanting, no, she doesn't mind. She doesn't know about the boyfriend part, though." Returning her smile, I grabbed my stuff and stepped by her and out the door.

"You going to tell her?" Andrea asked, locking the door behind her. She hit the button on her keychain and the back door of the van opened so I could put my stuff in.

"Haven't really decided yet. I talked about it with Brian, and he doesn't mind, as long as I'm sure she isn't going to be telling anyone. I think I'll wait until I'm a little more used to her."

Brian and I had, in fact, talked about it a lot in the past week. He wasn't entirely comfortable with my telling Carrie, and until he was I wasn't going to say a word.

Andrea nodded and threw her bags in beside mine, then walked around and got in on the driver's side. I jumped in beside her and we were off to the airport.

We managed to get there in good time, and we were soon boarding the plane. Andrea, hating flying, opted to go to sleep as soon as the light telling us to fasten our seatbelts went out.

Deciding to have a little fun with her, I waited until she was almost asleep, then 'accidentally' bumped her with my elbow, waking her up again. After I had done it a few times, she learned to anticipate it, and punched me in the ribs as I moved my elbow to judge her again.

"One more of those and you'll be landing long before the plane does," she growled.

I smiled and offered her the window seat, but she declined. Figuring that I had had enough fun for awhile, I set up my computer and was soon lost in a world of my own creation.

I wrote for a couple of hours, until I thought I had a handle on where I wanted to go next, then shut everything down and put it away. Watching Andrea, I couldn't help but feel sleepy, so I asked the flight attendant for a pillow of my own.

Resting my head against Andrea's, I was soon asleep.

The flight attendant came by and woke us again before the plane was getting ready to land. Andrea and I stretched as much as possible in the confines of our seats, and waited for the plane to set down.

"You know, they say that the landing and the take-off are actually the most dangerous parts of flying," I said brightly.

"Shut up." Andrea was gritting her teeth.

"I mean, in the air, all they really have to worry about is other planes and stuff, and they have all that radar to do that for them. And the autopilot. But when they're taking off and landing, it's all in the pilot's hands."

"Nate..."

"When you think about it, all of our lives are in the hands of one man really. What if he's been drinking? Or what if he hits the wrong button? What if he does everything perfectly, but something malfunctions, like the landing gear doesn't go down?"

"Nate, if you don't shut up so help me I'll..."

"I certainly wouldn't want to be the pilot," I continued cheerily. "I mean, don't they say it's one of the most stressful jobs there are? I don't know about you, but when I get stressed out, I start making mistakes. And it must just make it more stressful to know that a mistake could cost a bunch of people their lives."

Andrea's fingers were clutching the arms of her seat, and the knuckles were white. She had her eyes closed trying to ignore me.

"You know what I don't get? Why do they have us strap ourselves in? If we crash doing what, for all intents and purposes, may as well be light speed, are these seatbelts going to save us? Maybe they just don't want the survivors, if there were any, to have to crawl through all of the mangled bodies to get out of the plane."

I continued merrily discussing all of the things that could happen if even the slightest thing went wrong with the plane until we all felt the wheels strike the runway.

As soon as the doors were open, Andrea practically sprinted for the door. She really hated flying. Smiling to myself, I calmly followed her, finally catching her as she reached solid ground.

"Remind me again why I let you talk me into that," she groaned as she saw me.

I laughed. "What are you complaining about? You slept through most of the flight," I laughed, taking her arm.

"I saw too much of it. And heard way too much of you," she said, yanking her arm away and smacking me in the back of the head. "If you ever pull something like that again, you're a dead man. And it's too damn cold."

"You've been away too long. You're turning into a wuss."

She punched me in the shoulder. "Don't call me a wuss, you pansy."

I laughed as we walked through the doors and made our way to baggage claim. Once we had our things, Andrea followed me to long-term parking so that I could collect my car. Soon we were leaving the airport and heading for my apartment.

"So? Who do you want to visit first?" I asked as I pulled into my apartment building's underground lot.

Andrea leaned forward and turned the heater up. "How about Erron? You have to see if he'll look after the apartment anyway, so we can kill two birds with one stone."

"Erron it is, then. We can drop our things at my place, and then walk to his. He's only a couple of blocks away." I turned off the car and opened my door, reaching into the back and grabbing my bags. Andrea followed suit, and then we crossed to the elevators, which opened with a key from my ring.

"Nice place," Andrea said as we walked inside. She hadn't seen it before, and commenced giving herself the grand tour. While it was considerably smaller than our condo in LA, it was certainly large enough for the both of us to spend a few days, and it had a spare room for Andrea to stay in, so at least she was spared sleeping on the couch.

When she returned to the living room, where I had taken a seat, I got up and followed her to the door. "Erron's is a couple of blocks north from here. He works nights, so he should be home," I said as we left.

Sure enough, Erron answered the door when we knocked, and then his jaw dropped. With a slight scream, he grabbed Andrea and hugged her, moving aside for us to come in.

"Nice to see you missed me too," I joked, sitting down in the living room.

"I just saw you a couple of weeks ago," Erron laughed. "But you're so damn cute, gimme a hug."

I gave him a quick hug and a smile. Erron was one of my closest friends. I had met him in my final year of university, and we had immediately hit it off. While we had dated briefly, it had quickly become apparent that friendship was all it would ever be.

"So what are you doing here?" he asked excitedly, sitting next to Andrea.

"Nate had some business to take care of, so I decided to come with him and get some visiting done. It's been too long since I was here," Andrea said with a smile.

"You're right. You should be ashamed of yourself," Erron smiled, then turned to me. "So what kind of business?"

"Something only you can help me with, my friend," I laughed. "I need you to take care of the apartment for a little longer."

"How much longer? Are you staying in LA for a while?"

"Well, indefinitely, actually. But no, I'm not going back to LA. I'm going on tour with the Backstreet Boys, as a matter of fact," I said, expecting him to laugh.

"So which one are you with?" he asked with a grin instead.

"What? You're not surprised or anything?" Andrea asked incredulously.

"Well, I already knew that he knew them. He emailed me a picture of him and Nick a while back," he said as he turned to face her. I smiled at the memory. It had been Erron that I was chatting with at the video shoot with the guys. "Oh my god! It's Nick, isn't it?" he asked excitedly, turning suddenly to face me again.

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, it's not Nick."

"Well it can't be Brian, after the way he treated you."

Andrea cleared her throat and I looked away for a minute, avoiding his eyes.

"Brian!?!" he exclaimed. "What the hell?"

So I explained it for him, from start to finish. By the time I was done, Erron was smiling again.

"So you don't mind looking after the apartment while I'm away?" I finished.

"No problem. In fact, I may be able to go you one better, and help myself out at the same time."

"How's that?" I asked, leaning forward.

"Well, my lease is up here at the first of the year. How about if I move into your spare room and pay the rent on your place? That way, I get the time to look around for something better, and you get to have someone full-time watering your plants and getting your mail," he said.

"Sounds perfect," I smiled. "One correction, though. You'll pay half the rent. I'm still going to pay the other half. We split it fifty-fifty."

"But you're not even going to be there!" he protested.

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. If you were living here and just checking on my place, I'd still be paying rent. This way, we both save on rent, and we both get what we want."

"Okay, if you're sure," he conceded.

"I'm sure."

"Then it's settled. You have yourself one live-in caretaker," he laughed. "Now," he said, turning to Andrea again, "I want to hear all about what you've been up to."

We talked for a few more hours, until Erron annouced that he had to get ready for work. With a promise that we would get back together later in the week before we left, Andrea and I left him and walked back to my place, stopping to grab a pizza on the way.

For the rest of the week Andrea and I did two things. First, we visited with all of our friends from school, making sure to get to them all and spending as much time as we could with them. Second, we acted like tourists.

We did all of the things that people never do when they actually live in the city. We went to the Metro Toronto Zoo, the SkyDome, and climbed the CN Tower which, if you've ever done it, you know is a feat in and of itself.

Before we knew it, the week was over, and we had to get ready to leave. I was going straight to New York for my meetings, while Andrea was flying back to LA for work.

"Call me," she said as she heard her flight announced.

"Don't worry," I said with a smile. "I need someone to laugh at."

She playfully smacked me on the shoulder and then gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Tell him I said hi," she laughed as she backed away again.

I grinned. "As soon as I see him," I agreed.

"Which should be?" she prompted.

"Just as soon as I get these two meetings out of the way. One shouldn't take as long as I was dreading it would, considering that it's with Carrie, not Pete. The other I'm not sure about. It's all about marketing and stuff like that for 'Blue Sky' as well as the new book. Sounds like it could be a bit tedious."

"Well, get it over with and then get your ass to Brian," she said. "No pun intended, of course."

I laughed and pushed her toward her gate as they announced her flight again. "Get going, or they'll leave without you."

We said our goodbyes again and then she ran for her flight. I had a short wait before my plane for New York, so I made my way to a little coffee stand nearby and sat down. Just as I was taking my first sip, my cell phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked, as I flipped it open and tried not to spill my coffee.

"Hey sweetie," I heard in a low southern drawl. Brian had taken to calling me sweetie because he had discovered I hated it. It was the same reason Andrea used it.

"You keep it up, and you're in for a spanking," I laughed, putting my feet up on the chair across the table from me.

"Promises, promises," Brian cooed into the phone. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the airport, waiting for the flight out. Where are you?"

"Chicago," he said. "Listen, I only have a minute. There should be a magazine stand nearby, right?"

I looked around me and spotted one not too far away. "Yeah, I can see one from here. Why?"

"Just listen..."

Brian and I talked for couple of minutes more, before he had to go. I promised to call him when I got to New York, and hung up. Grabbing my coffee, I walked over to the magazine stand and made my purchase just as they announced my flight.

Paying the man, I grabbed my bags and ran to the gate.

Once I was in my seat, I fastened my seatbelt and pulled out the magazine. I was more than a little embarrassed about buying it. Looking at the cover, there were pictures of just about every teen hearthrob on the planet. Right in the middle was a picture of Brian and the guys, and the text promised 'more hot pix and in-depth interviews' inside.

Glancing over at the woman sitting beside me, I noticed that she was giving me a very odd look. Realising that she was watching a man of 24 years reading a magazine aimed primarily at fifteen-year old girls, I felt a grin make it's way across my mouth, which only garnered me an even stranger look.

"I only buy it for the articles," I whispered to her, leaning over and giving her a wink.

Her face flushed immediately and she looked away. I smiled to myself and opened the cover. My seat-mate and I didn't speak the entire flight.

Quickly flipping past glossy photos of young men and interviews promising all the latest gossip on my favourites, I found the interview with the Backstreet Boys that Brian had told me to read.

Scanning through it, it didn't really seem much more interesting than I would have thought. What's your favourite colour? Boxers or Briefs? If you were a shoe, what kind of shoe would you be?

'Yes sir, pretty in-depth stuff alright,' I thought to myself with a chuckle. That's when my eye fixed on something that sobered me immediately.

'What's your favourite book?' I read, then looked over their answers.

'Brian: Actually, right now I'm reading 'Blue Sky' by our friend Nathaniel Healy, and it's really great. I'm enjoying it a lot.

'Nick: We're all reading it, as a matter of fact. I have to say it's the best thing I've read in a long time. Very good story.

'Kevin: And the characters are great.

'AJ: It's incredible.'

I was dumbstruck. With just a few words, they had managed to give my book more advertising than the publishers could do in weeks. I had to tell someone. I closed the magazine and, in a moment of sadistic pleasure, offered it to the woman beside me. She just shook her head and pretended to be extremely interested in something outside the plane.

I picked up the phone from the back of the seat in front of me, and made my call, dialing from memory.

I punched in the extension number and waited. Shortly, I heard a recorded voice telling me that Carrie had stepped out of her office or was on the phone, and asking me to leave a message. At the sound of the beep, I did just that.

"Listen Carrie, I know that this will sound strange, but you've got to go to the book store or magazine stand right away. There's something you have to see." I gave her the name of the magazine, and the page number of the interview, then told her to call me at the hotel in New York after she had read it. Hanging up, I walked back to my seat and sat down. Smiling at the woman again, I asked for a pillow and slept the rest of the way to New York.

To Be Continued...

Okay, that's it for this part. Please let me know what you think. Everyone's opinion is welcome and wanted. Remember, I live for email.

Also, as an academic exercise, I want to try something. A couple of you have mentioned that I haven't told you what Nate looks like. I must admit I'm curious what you think. Please drop me a line and let me know what you think he looks like.

Email me at DLS_stories@hotmail.com

Thanks for reading! :)

Next: Chapter 10: Brian and Me 28 31


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