All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now.
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"But Who Knows Where or When?"
Copyright Ritchris, 2007
A Story
by
Ritch Christopher
literary enhancement
by
Les Martin
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chapter eight
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"Some things that happen for the first time...
Seem to be happening again..."
excerpted from "WHERE OR WHEN"
from Rodgers and Hart's "Babes in Arms"
copyright 1937
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"Damn it, Maggie, you've been grinning like the Cheshire cat ever since I got home from playing golf. What gives?"
"You DID make the dinner reservations, didn't you?"
"Sweetheart, have I ever refused to do anything you asked me to?"
"Let me think," Maggie joked. "You didn't go soak you head one time when I asked you to...."
"Only because we were in the middle of the Mojave Desert when the radiator overheated!"
"See? If you had checked the radiator in Barstow, that never would've happened!"
"So where was I supposed to soak my head? If there had been water some place, I'd've used it to fill up the radiator."
"I wanted you to go jump into the mirage which I saw, lover..."
"Oh, good grief! When ELSE?"
"When else what?"
"When else have I ever refused to do what you asked?"
"Never, darling. Come here and I'll stroke your head for being such an obedient little boy!"
"Can't you give me ONE little clue about the couple we're meeting for dinner? Do I know them?"
"Almost intimately!"
"Oh? So they're patients of mine?"
"They have been from time to time..."
"It's not one of those 'forced' engagements where the bride-to-be is preggers?"
"God, I hope not!" Maggie giggled.
"This is getting too much for me. You know I was up all night at the hospital patching up my patient? I'm tired...so suppose YOU go to the club and let me stay home and sleep."
"Blaine, I promise you I won't keep you out late. We'll eat, toast the couple, and come home early. Although, if you're like me, you'll probably be too excited to sleep."
"I doubt that! More than likely, I'll be asleep before you make the toast!"
"Uh huh! No, darling. YOU have to toast the couple. That's a man's job!"
"Had I known you weren't going to tell me who they are, I'd've made the reservation for three o'clock this afternoon!"
"I have a wonderful idea. Why don't you take a nap now and you'll be wide awake when we get to the club."
"You know I can't sleep during the day."
"I'll bet I could relax you enough to put you to sleep..."
"What do you have in mind...euthanasia?"
"Youth in Asia? What's that supposed to mean?
"You idiot! How do you propose to put me under?"
"That's PART of it...'under' the covers! That's where I want to crawl, once you lie down..."
"And then what?"
"I'll start at your bottom and work my way up to your top."
"Now you're talkin' kid!"
"Go jump into the shower and get that golf sweat off you and lie down in the bed...nekkid!"
"Nekkid?"
"Yeah, so I won't have to remove your tighty-whiteys and I can get right down to business!"
"DONE DEAL!"
Blaine kissed Maggie and ran upstairs to take his shower.
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After Maggie had left Rex's house to return to her home, Rex and Kent stood speechless, looking at one another.
"Well..." Rex said.
"Yes, well..." Kent echoed. "The cat is out of the bag now!"
"I should have warned you about Maggie. In all the years we've been together, I was never able to keep a single secret away from my sister. She should go to Guantanamo and question the enemy combatants. She could get any information out of any of them without even trying very hard."
"Rex, I swear to you, I never gave her a hint about the two of us."
"You didn't have to. She caught on just by the vibes we were transmitting silently to each other. She's the only person in the world who could convince me that ESP exists...and only SHE has it!"
"I'm inclined to agree with you...but if she's gonna celebrate our relationship at the country club, won't you mind being outted to some of your friends?"
"Kent, I HAVE no friends at the country club. Sure, I know everyone there, but I couldn't give two hoots in hell what ANY of them thinks of me."
"Well, since I don't know any of them, it won't bother me either!"
"GOOD!"
"Hey, come here, Rex."
"What?"
"You came home while Maggie was here and I didn't welcome you with a kiss..."
"Oh? I think I'd like one of those!" Rex said, walking toward his new lover who put his arms around Rex to kiss him deeply and passionately. "I could get used to this..."
"You'd better!" Kent replied, kissing Rex again.
"Say, how are you feeling this morning?"
"Considering all the exercise we went through last night...pleasantly tired."
"Your rear end isn't sore, is it?"
"Nope! Yours?"
"Actually, yes!"
"Ha! If YOU'RE sore and I'm not...maybe my johnson is bigger than yours!"
"OH? NO WAY! Maybe you're just used to shitting bigger turds than I..."
"Rex! That's gross!"
"It's a better excuse than claiming your dick is bigger than mine..."
"Wanna drop trou and measure?"
"No...I measured yours while you were asleep!"
"And...?"
"I...I'm, at least, four inches longer than you!"
"So is a number two pencil! Skinny dick!"
"Skinny? Let's go upstairs and I'll show you who's got the skinny dick!"
"Why go upstairs? What's wrong with the dining room table?"
"Not a damned thing, come to think of it! I'd love to christen the old banquet table with a load of your fresh semen!"
"Look out! You're turning me on!"
"I want to."
"Oh, God, Rex. Why did we waste all those years being best friends when we could have been best lovers?"
"I was waiting for you to come out of the closet!"
"Bullshit! You were hidden deeper in the closet than I!"
"I guess I was...but...if we WERE in the closet, by God, we're OUT now!"
"And we're gonna be even further out when Maggie makes an announcement at the country club!"
"If she does...we'll both just stand and bow to the crowd and wait for the applause to end."
"HA! Now I KNOW you're joking!"
"Maybe...but I'm not joking, Kent, when I say that I truly love you...heart and soul."
"That's how I love you, my Rex,". Kent kissed Rex for the third time. "You know, while you were gone to the grocery store, I kept thinking how all the women in Epperson are going to miss us---and HATE me!"
"That's THEIR loss and our gain! I never want to see another vagina as long as I live!" Rex announced.
"How about penises?"
"I HAVE to shower with the team, don't I?"
"You could wait and shower with me after you get home from practice!"
"I could...and I will. You've got the only penis I want to look at anyway!"
"Would you like to see it now?"
"Clear off that dining room table and I'll show you mine at the same time!"
The tablecloth, candlestick holders, a crystal bowl filled with glass fruit, and everything else on the dining room table suddenly were swept onto the floor. The Rex picked Kent up in his arms, laid him on the table and began tearing off Kent's jogging clothes.
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Tom Chastain was alone in his hospital room. In spite of the painkillers which Blaine had prescribed, he ached from head to toe. This was the first time in his history of servicing glory holes that it had resulted in physical repercussions. It was August, not New Year's Eve, but he made a mid-summer resolution NEVER to do it again.
He picked up the remote for the TV set and began surfing channels until he stopped on LOBO, the gay/lesbian channel. They were showing a documentary on the dangers a gay might encounter...everything from STD's to hate crimes. He felt as if he should be on the panel since he had become a victim of a hate crime himself during the past twenty-four hours. A physician was acting as moderator on the program and Tom's thoughts drifted to his experience with Blaine. Was it worth going through the beating, the surgery, and all the possible complications just to have anonymous sex with this handsome doctor? Probably not...but then, how else would he ever have managed to have sex with Blaine. Blaine was ultra-hetero...or was he? Blaine did poke his penis through the hole in the restroom booth. Why?
Next, Tom wondered why he had so blatantly lied to Blaine. In Blaine's office yesterday, Tom had told him that he had a boyfriend, Lance, on the Epperson campus. THAT was a lie, but he had countered his remark later after the surgery by telling Blaine that he had no one in his life. Lance didn't any more exist than a living brontosaurus. He also lied in the office about being a writer. This was a half truth. At one time, Tom had been a writer, doing freelance stories for rags and newspapers, but that was when he was using an old typewriter to compose his stories. He could never afford a computer or Internet provider despite the fact that they all but made Remington, Royal, Underwood, and Smith-Corona as extinct as pterodactyls.
Lance was Tom's imaginary lover...one that he used to get out of relationships when a gay trick became obsessive or wanted to see Tom again. Tom would always say that he was in a relationship with a student whom was waiting on him at his home. God! How Tom wished that Lance was real, but he was never sure that he could be faithful to any lover since he liked to play the field, having sex with as many guys as possible. Sex was fun while one was doing it, but afterward one was even lonelier than before. Lance was 'almost' real because sometimes Tom would talk with him when scouting a sex partner in a crowded bar...'What do you think of THAT one, Lance?' or 'Does he look like he has a big dick, Lance?' Often he thought Lance would reply to him and pick out the night's sexual encounter.
A nurse's aide brought Tom his lunch...light food, consisting of cottage cheese, fruit, and apple juice. He picked over it with his fork and longed for a Big Boy hamburger with fries and shake. He watched 'People's Court' with Judge Marian Milian and thought she was a hoot! After that, the NBC channel showed 'The Ellen Show' with her guests, Jake Gyllenhaal and Josh Duhamel. He almost turned the show off because he knew that Jake and Josh would give him an hour of unsatisfied boners which would cause him additional pain.
Halfway through the Ellen/Jake interview, Tom had a guest to come into his room...a priest...the hospital's chaplain, Fr. Todd Benton. Tom suddenly wished to God that he could pretend he was asleep, but it was too late. The priest was a young man, approximately twenty-five years old. He wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but he had a nice face with dark eyes, black hair combed straight over his forehead. He was dressed in the usual priest's attire, black suit, which fit his slim body perfectly, a clerical collar, with a prayer stole around his neck. In his hand, he carried his missal.
"Mr. Chastain?" Todd asked.
"Yes?"
"I'm Father Benton, the chaplain here. I just came by to see how you were doing or if you were in need of prayer?"
"You got the wrong guy, Padre. I'm not a believer!" Tom replied.
"In God or in anything?"
"I don't much believe in ANYTHING..."
"Oh, surely, there is SOMETHING you believe in...a person, a relative, a best friend...?"
"IXNAY. I don't have any of those either."
"No family at all?"
"Nope!"
"If it weren't for my faith, I guess I wouldn't either."
"You've got no family either?"
"Just my spiritual family. Since I'm assigned to the hospital, I don't have a church or regular congregation to attend to...just a few brief meetings with patients being admitted and discharged. Often there's no time to establish a friendship or relationship."
"Well, considering my line of business, I suppose we're in the same boat."
"May I ask what line of business you're in?"
"I'd rather not say," Tom said, looking away from Todd and pretending to get interested in the television again.
"That's all right. I won't pry," Todd replied. "Forgive me, but I AM curious how you came to get all the bruises and cuts on your face and body. Were you in an auto accident?"
"I suppose I look as if I were hit by a steam shovel, but NO, no accident."
"Did you have to have surgery?"
"Yes, Doctor Rogers opened me up and removed every organ that wasn't glued in place."
"Then you must be in a lot of pain."
"To say the least, Padre!"
"Would you like me to call the nurse to get you something for your pain?"
"NO, I've been popping pain pills like they were M&M's all morning. I don't think she would give me anything stronger."
"Would you mind if I sat down and stayed with you for a little while?"
"No...be my guest. I'm watching the 'Ellen Show'."
Todd looked up at the TV. "Oh, that's Jake Gyllenhaal!"
"Yeah, he's quite a hunk!" Tom spoke without thinking.
"You're right! He IS a hunk!" Todd replied. Whether Todd meant it or not, he thought he would ease Tom's embarrassment.
Tom relaxed enough to continue, "There's a bigger hunk coming on next...Josh Duhammel!"
"Oh, from the 'Las Vegas' show. I watch it every weekend."
"You're a fan of Josh's too?"
"I like ALL the cast on 'Las Vegas'...Josh, James Caan, and ALL the beautiful women!"
"Your being a priest, I guess I don't have to wonder which you like best."
"Oh?"
"I mean, it doesn't matter if you're straight or gay."
"Being a priest may be my profession, but once I remove my clothes in the evening, I'm still a man...not a god or saint."
"Would it embarrass you if I were to ask if priests masturbate?"
"No, it wouldn't embarrass me. I think most priest do. It's a body function and can be a source of relaxation as long as one can keep his thoughts pure."
"And those that have impure thoughts are pedophiles like I hear about on TV?"
Todd laughed. "No, only a very small percentage of priests are sexually aroused by children. Actually, less than five percent."
"You're kidding! I thought ALL of you like to...well, all of you were attracted to altar boys."
"I hate to disappoint you, but I've never had an impure thought about an altar boy."
"I also heard that some priests have hetero sex with nuns!"
Todd laughed again. "It's been known to happen."
"They don't talk about them as much on TV. I guess society thinks that's normal!"
"The Roman Catholic Church, to much dismay, is rather misogynistic when that occurs, rather narrow-minded."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if a priest has sex with a nun, he can be forgiven and keep his job. But the nun is extricated from the church and is often excommunicated from receiving the Holy Sacrament."
"Yeah and according to the newscasters, the priests who are caught molesting little boys are transferred to a different church. Right?"
"Sorry to say, that HAS happened."
"Then, twenty or thirty years later, the little boy grows up, feels guilty, and sues the Catholic Church for a million dollars."
"That, TOO, has happened."
"Boy, I should be so lucky!" Tom said, smiling.
"What do you mean?"
"Only that if I had been an altar boy and could have had sex anytime the priest wanted it. I would've enjoyed the hell out of it. I've often thought that altar boys enjoy sex with priests for many years and when the priest gets tired of him, the kid has had a great time during his teens...plenty of sex...and now he gets a million dollars. Those are the most expensive blow jobs in the world!"
"You wouldn't be ashamed to go to court to say that you had been the victim of sex acts during your entire youth?"
"Hell, no! That's what I did, actually, but I never came close to making a million!"
"I think, Mr. Chastain, that..."
"Call me Tom."
"All right, if you'll call me Todd."
"Okay...now you were saying...?"
"I was saying that I think you're confessing things to me that you really shouldn't let me hear..."
"Why? You listen to confessions, don't you?"
"Do you wish to make a confession?"
"No. I'm not Catholic...but, hell, I'm sure you read my chart before you came in to see me and you know WHY I'm here...WHAT happened to me...and WHAT I do for a living. RIGHT?"
Todd dropped his head. "I...I'm afraid I DID read your chart and I also read your history which Doctor Rogers had written...and yes, I DO know quite a bit about you."
"Good. Then I won't have to hide anything from you, will I?"
"I suppose not, Tom, but I would like to know one thing..."
"What's that, Padre?"
"Did you describe your assailant to the police?"
"No way..."
"Why not?"
"I know that I was a victim of a hate crime, but we BOTH could get arrested. He, for attacking me and I, for performing a lewd act on him in a public restroom."
"I somehow doubt that your attacker would be willing to confess that he had gone into a restroom to have oral sex performed on him."
"Maybe, and maybe not, but although I might be homeless, so to speak, I don't relish the idea of making my home in an eight-by-eight cell."
"You know, Tom, something that I simply can't understand...you're bright, intelligent, and good-looking...you could easily find a job and pay for a small apartment to give yourself a place to live."
"Yeah? Well, that might be in my future once I find out for sure if I'm HIV positive or not. Doctor Rogers is going to tell me as soon as the complete results come back from the lab. It's hard as hell to get hired if you have HIV or AIDS."
"And yet you're still risking getting HIV by having sex in restrooms..."
"I suppose the danger of it makes it all the more fun."
"Tom, is there NO ONE you care about?"
"Absolutely NO ONE."
"Is this by choice or have you been hurt in relationships in the past?"
"A little of both..."
"Tom, would it help if I found you a place to live?"
"Why would you do that?...part of your missionary duties? The Good Samaritan who masquerades as a hospital chaplain?"
"I wear no masks, Tom. I do everything from my heart. Sometimes my helping backfires on me and I find I think twice before making an offer to help the next less fortunate human being."
"So I'm your NEXT less fortunate human being?"
"Only if you agree to letting me help you."
"I'm too old to be molested...if that's what you have in mind."
"Tom, as I said, I've never molested anyone...and I'm too deep in my ministry to begin now."
"So what's in it for you except an extra star in your crown as the Baptists sing about?"
"You were a Baptist when you were younger?"
"Aren't ALL gay men?"
Todd laughed out loud for the third time. "I'm afraid I don't know MUCH about the Baptists!"
"Then take my word for it. The ones who yell the loudest in their pulpits about the evils of homosexuality are speaking from experience...otherwise how would they know that much about it?"
"I see you have a sense of humour in your logic. That's good, Tom."
"WOW! Was that a compliment?"
"Well, I meant it to be..."
"The only compliments I ever receive are the ones who tell me what a good blow job I've just given!"
"I see..."
"Have you ever had one?"
"A blow job?"
"Yes."
"Y'know, in my capacity as a priest, no one has ever asked me that before..."
"Well, have you or haven't you?"
"I...I'd rather not answer that since we are practically strangers..."
"If we were friends, would you tell me?"
"Probably not."
"Then that means you HAVE had a blow job!"
"Let me just say that I haven't been a priest all my life."
"So you had sex BEFORE you became a priest! Right?"
"I sowed a few wild oats..."
"With guys or gals?"
"You're getting into my personal territory now and I won't answer that...!".
"Why don't you see if you can jam that door shut so no one can enter and I'll blow you right now?"
"I...I think I'd better leave, Tom."
"Oh, I see! I'm REALLY invading your personal territory now!"
"You ARE making me feel very uncomfortable."
"Why don't you look me up when I get out of here?"
"I'm afraid THAT is out of the question, Tom!"
"No one'll know except us."
"Us and God."
"That argument won't hold water."
"Oh? And why is that?"
"Because God made men with dicks and He also gave men mouths to suck them!"
"Really, Tom! I HAVE to go..."
"Suit yourself!"
"Would you like me to say a prayer over you before I go?"
"It won't do any good if I don't believe in your God."
"Still, I'll pray for you in the chapel downstairs just the same."
"Did you write down my room number? I wouldn't want your God getting mixed up and sending His blessing to the wrong patient!"
"He'll know..."
As Todd started to get up from the chair, he discovered that his conversation with Tom had given him an erection. So he pressed his missal close to his lap before he arose."
"Thanks for coming by, Padre."
"Sure. I'm sorry if I disturbed you..."
"You WILL come back, won't you?"
"Only if you want me to..."
"I do. You...uh...taught me a lot about religion just now."
"I don't think I taught you ANYTHING about religion, Tom."
"You, being a priest, should know that all religion isn't necessarily about the Bible and things! Religion is a part of life...just like being gay is a part of life."
"I hope you don't think I taught you anything about gay life."
"You did...only you weren't aware of it!"
"Well, goodbye, Tom."
"Goodbye, Todd."
"You called me 'Todd' and not 'Padre'..."
"I know. I...I'd like you as a friend, but not as a priest."
"That's a start, Tom."
"I hope so, Todd..."
Todd left and Tom picked up the remote to turn up the sound to watch Ellen's interview with Josh Duhammel. Josh gave Tom another boner.
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Arriving at the country club with his lovely wife, Blaine learned that his 'guests' were not there as yet. His curiosity was in full flower, since he was still in the dark about the identity of his and Maggie's guests. On Friday and Saturday nights, the club featured a fifteen piece band which played all the oldies from the thirties and forties. Maggie loved coming to the club to hear the band and she was grateful that at least there would be SOME people in the world that remembered Glenn Miller, Les Brown, and the Dorsey Brothers.
As the two of them sat down, the band began to play, 'Pennsylvania 6-5000' and Maggie grabbed Blaine's elbow before he could sit.
"Come on, Baby! Let's jitterbug!"
"Maggie, I'm so tired!"
"Why, for God's sake? You took a long nap!"
"Oh, all right," Blaine said, sullenly, giving in once again to his sexy wife.
Maggie had chosen a tight red gown to wear. It was cut down in front to her navel and down her back to an inch above her butt crack. She raised her index finger and jiggled it all the way to the dance floor. Most of the women in the club nodded their heads at Maggie while their husbands strained to look at Maggie's almost-revealed bust. Marilyn Monroe didn't have a thing on Maggie as Maggie had kept her figure the same as Marilyn's...36-24-36. There was no straight man alive who wouldn't stop to give her the once over and Maggie LOVED the attention. Blaine didn't care if the men looked at her because he was sure of her love and devotion. What the other men desired of Maggie was ALL Blaine's...anytime he wanted it!
Turning to her husband, she lost herself in dance. Maggie loved showing off on the dance floor. As soon as Blaine's salary could afford it, she had enrolled Blaine and herself in a Fred Astaire's Dance Studio to learn all the dances in the five ballroom competition categories. She hated the dances the kids of today tried to do...stand on the floor, shake their asses, and flail their arms about in the air without any dance steps. Jitterbug was one of her specialties and she sashayed around the floor until everyone cleared the way for her until she and Blaine found they had the entire dance floor to themselves. She always expected applause from the crowd when the music was over AND she ALWAYS got it. Other couples felt inhibited by their meager steps when Maggie was on the floor in high gear. As she and Blaine returned to their table, Maggie would blow kisses to the crowd. Blaine would usually bow his head in embarrassment. He remembered one time when they had danced a Jive, even the band applauded.
Maggie excused herself, but on her way to the ladies' room, she stopped to whisper something to the band leader. Blaine watched her suspiciously, wondering what in hell he would have to dance to next? Normally he loved holding his wife in his arms on the dance floor, but tonight he was still tired. She returned shortly to find that Blaine had ordered two vodka martinis for them, with three olives in his. The frosty martini glasses were waiting on the table as Blaine held her chair for her as she sat down.
Lifting her glass, "Cheers!" Maggie said, toasting her husband.
"Cheers, my love!" Blaine replied. "Maggie, can I ask what you said to Oscar, the bandleader?"
"Nope. It's a surprise, but you'll find out REAL soon."
"That's what I'm afraid of, Magpie!" Blaine took a long gulp of his drink.
"My! My! The club is overflowing with friends tonight."
"More so than usual," Blaine replied, looking around.
"Don't you just think it's wonderful?"
"WHAT, MAGGIE? What is so goddamned wonderful and WHAT secret are you keeping from me?"
"It shouldn't be long now, darling!"
"Oh, good grief! I just hope I'm sober when the mysterious couple arrives!"
"Oh, sweetheart, relax. It's your night off! Enjoy yourself and celebrate new love!"
"I would IF I knew whose love was new!"
A few minutes later, Rex and Kent came through the door and stopped on the landing, looking for Maggie and Blaine. Not seeing them immediately, they turned to the head-waiter. As soon as Maggie saw them, she waved her hand at Oscar to give a downbeat to the band and they played sixteen bars of 'Here Comes The Bride'. Blaine looked around and saw no couple...well, he DID see Kent and Rex, but there was no one else on the landing.
Rex and Kent, both turned blood red with embarrassment as they made their way across the empty dance floor to Maggie and Blaine's table. Heads were turning all around the room and suddenly a buzz of whispers began to grow from one side of the room to the other. Maggie stood up to welcome Rex and Kent and gave them both a big hug.
"Maggie, you shouldn't have..." Rex started to say.
"NONSENSE! It's the least I could do for this celebration!"
"Maggie, what the hell is going on?" Blaine asked, pointedly at his wife.
"Blaine, darling...Rex and Kent are a couple!"
"THEY'RE....THEY'RE WHAT?" Blaine exclaimed with disbelief.
"They're in love. They're lovers now, Blaine. Don't they look good together?"
"Jesus Christ! Maggie, is this some kind of a joke? I don't think either Rex or Kent appreciates it!"
"It's no joke, Blaine...ask them for yourself!"
"It's no joke, Blaine," Rex said, softly. "Kent and I ARE a couple..."
"Well, I'll be God damned! I...I...words seem to have escaped me."
"Well, sit down, guys, while I have the waiter bring the champagne!" Maggie said, signaling to the waiter.
"Thanks, Maggie." Rex said as he and Kent sat at the two empty chairs. "Blaine, she didn't tell you anything about us?"
"NOT A WORD!"
"Of course not, silly! I didn't want to spoil the surprise!"
"You might have least warned me or given me a clue..." Blaine said, drinking down the rest of his martini. "When did all this happen? I mean, how long have you been...well, MORE than best friends?"
"Since last night, Doctor Rogers," Kent replied.
"You can stop calling me 'Doctor Rogers' if we're going to be family from now on," Blaine said. "I still just find all this impossible to believe! I mean, you two date more women than any TWO guys in Epperson! How in the world could both of you just change overnight and become gay? It's a genetic thing! One doesn't CHOOSE to be gay. It's just that...HELL, I don't know WHAT I mean!"
"It was as strange to us as it is to you now, Blaine," Rex explained. "I suppose we always knew it since we've always been inseparable. Kent and I have ALWAYS felt love of some kind for one another, but it was only last night that we found out what that love really was and how deep our love goes."
"God, what a song title that would make. Should we call Barry Gibb?"
"BLAINE! BEHAVE YOURSELF!" Maggie said. "You're acting as if they have committed a crime when you should be as happy for them as I am."
"Okay! So, guys, I'm sorry, but this isn't the kind of thing that goes down my gullet easily!"
"I suppose I'd feel the same way, Blaine, if I were to suddenly find out that YOU were gay!" Rex said.
Rex's remark hit Blaine in the gut! What did Rex know about Tom in the restroom last night? Blaine had heard about 'gaydar', but he wondered if there was some kind of secret means of communication that only gay people received. DID Rex and Kent know about his one and only tryst? He managed to reply to Rex, "Well, as long as your sister is alive, there's no chance of your ever hearing that I've switched sides."
"Darling! No one in the world would ever question YOUR sexuality! Not while I'm around, anyway!" The waiter brought the ice bucket with a magnum of Krug 1995 from the Clos du Mesnil vineyard, one of Maggie's favorites at $750 a bottle. The cork was popped and the waiter poured four flute glasses half full and set one in front of each of them. "I think all of this is SO grand! Don't all of you?"
Maggie, Rex and Kent held up their glasses and each of them turned to see if Blaine would follow suit. Finally, with a great deal of reluctance, he raised his glass to clink his against theirs.
"Here's to NEW LOVE!" Maggie toasted.
"NEW LOVE!" Kent and Rex echoed simultaneously.
All Blaine could manage to say was..."LOVE!".
"Oh, listen! The band is playing a Viennese waltz. Oh, Blaine! You know how I LOVE to waltz!"
"Why don't you ask Rex or Kent to waltz you around the floor, Maggie?" Blaine asked, with a droll expression.
"Because, silly, THEY should dance together!"
"Aw, Sis, we can't do that!" Rex said. "Not in front of all these people!"
"Like hell, you won't! And I dare ANYONE to say ANYTHING...and that goes for you, too, Blaine.! Now let's EVERYONE get off our butts and go to the dance floor! I WILL NOT miss the waltz!"
Rex and Kent could see there was no use in arguing with Maggie. She ALWAYS got her way about EVERYTHING. Blaine knew that as well...and so the four of them got up, paired off, and began to waltz, broadly around the room. People was gawking from every direction, seeing Rex dance with the Epperson U. quarterback. No one knew what to say or rather they knew NOT to say it within Maggie's ear reach.
When the dance ended, the four returned to the table and ordered dinner, followed by a lavish dessert. Maggie, Rex, and Kent enjoyed their meal while poor Blaine developed indigestion.
As the night, the music, and the liquor drew to an end, it was nearly 11:45 with fifteen more minutes before the band played its closing foxtrot, "We'll Be Together Again", the tempo of the music was once again Latin and time for a final samba. Maggie looked pleadingly at her husband and Blaine quickly refused by saying, "Oh no! I've had too much to drink and I'm too pooped physically to attempt that one, Magpie. Get your brother or his...his...lover to dance the samba with you!"
Maggie looked at Kent with a very seductive look..."How about it, big stud? Want samba me on the floor?"
"Go on, Kent!" Rex encouraged him.
"I don't usually do footwork without my football cleats, but I guess I can make an exception this one time!"
"Attaboy, lover!" Maggie said. "Let's hop to it!"
Maggie grabbed Kent's hand and pulled him out of his chair. As they made their way to the dance floor, Maggie looked back at Rex while she palmed Kent's right buttock. "Ooh, you ARE firm back there? No wonder my brother fell in love with you!" Kent laughed as he and Maggie assumed the first position of the Latin dance. They felt the tempo and began swirling their hips together and off they went. Maggie was whirling and dipping every chance she had, showing she was just as good at this dance as she was at all the others she'd done during the evening.
This was the first chance Blaine had had to be alone with Rex. They watched Maggie and Kent tear up a Latin rug, then Blaine put his arm around the back of Rex's chair and turned to face him.
"Rex? This is all for real?"
"Yes, Blaine, but don't worry, I can hardly believe it myself!"
"How did you know you were in love with Kent? I mean REALLY in love?"
"I suppose when I came to the realization that Kent could die after I heard your cancer diagnosis and that I might lose him. That thought alone nearly drove me crazy all day yesterday. I suddenly knew that life wouldn't be important to me without Kent. I mean, before that, if he weren't sick, one day one of us would meet the right woman and begin a new life without the other being in his life...but that all suddenly changed. I didn't want any other person to take Kent's place in my life. I convinced myself that it was he I wanted...now and forever. or however long...or short..forever might be."
"Rex, all of that I can understand...but the sex part? Can you live a life without knowing the pleasure and comfort of a woman's vagina?"
"Have you ever tried anal sex with a man, Blaine?"
"You know damned well that I haven't!"
"Let me tell you. The idea always disgusted me...until last night when Kent let me enter him for the first time. It was the greatest sexual sensation I've ever experienced. No woman's vagina was ever as tight as Kent's ass."
"Pardon my being so inquisitive, but did you let him do it to you?"
"It was only fair, Blaine. I wanted Kent to feel as satisfied as I...and so I gave myself to him...freely and lovingly...and you know what?"
"I'm afraid to ask!"
"Just as you had demonstrated on us by massaging our prostate...KAPOW! Kent touched mine while he was inside me and God Almighty! I've never climaxed as much in my life. I think both of us realized that no woman would ever please us as much...ever again. But that's just the sexual side of our relationship. I DO love Kent and Kent loves me...just like the way you and Maggie love one another. It doesn't matter that we're both men, We're not swishy faggots, nor does either of us claim to be queer. We're just the same people as we've always been except we're responsible for one another now. Blaine, I want you to do all that you can to make Kent well. I want us to live until we're eighty or ninety and sit on the veranda at the house to watch the seasons change and see the sun as it's replaced by the Shenandoah moon every night."
"Neither you nor Kent ever had any gay feelings before last night?"
"So far as we both know, no."
"I...I still don't understand it. I mean there's enough scientific evidence now to prove that homosexuality is inherited in the genes, not something acquired by choice or family environment."
"Don't ask me to explain it. You're the doctor!"
"I've been sitting here all night trying to analyze it. The only conclusion I drew was a very weak one. I thought that perhaps with Kent's testicular problem, he might have a low testosterone level which would cause him to feel somewhat as a woman might. But YOU, you're the biggest stud and womanizer I've ever known. I can't find a reason that fits your pattern."
"Don't try to explain it, Blaine. Just accept it and be happy for Kent and me."
"Rex, can I tell you something that you promise you won't repeat to Kent or Maggie or ANYONE? Can I really trust you?"
"I swear, Blaine."
"The other day when I came to your locker room with the Tine tests..."
"Yeah?"
"When I met Kent for the first time, I felt something when I looked into his eyes...something I had never felt from ANY male before. I...I was attracted to him."
"I kinda sensed that as I was watching you."
"Yes, but what you COULDN'T see, Blaine, looking at Kent actually gave me an erection. I thought I was losing my mind or at least my masculinity. Then when he came to my office, I got the same feeling...then we kissed...only for a moment...and I wanted to run and hide. I felt as if maybe I was turning gay. I couldn't find anything in my medical journals to explain it. Then when you and Kent left and I went to examine my next patient...again, an attractive young man..I found myself drawn to him as I had been to Kent."
"Whoops, brother-in-law, you're on shaky ground if you're feeling that way toward men when you're married to Maggie. You remember that Bobbitt fellow, don't you?"
"Hell, Maggie wouldn't just cut off my dick, she'd pour a tube of Super Glue up my rectum!"
"Yeah, and that would only be the first step she'd take. She'd think up worse horrors than that to do to you."
"BUT I DON'T WANT to be attracted to men! But what the fuck is happening to me?"
"Careful, the samba is over and they're coming back."
"Rex, I NEED to talk to someone."
"I...I'll come by your office Monday and we'll go out for lunch to talk."
"Thanks, Rex. I appreciate that."
"Don't mention it!"
"And, uh...by the way...congratulations! I hope you and Kent will have a long and happy life together just as Maggie and I..."
"I've never said this, Blaine, but I've always looked at you as if you were MY real brother, and for that...you should know that I love you, Blaine."
"I've never said it either, Rex, but I guess it's time...I love you, too."
"I guess we'd better go dance the last dance with our partners."
The band singer began singing, "Some day...some way...we both have a lifetime before us...so what if we have to part? We'll be together again..."
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(To be continued in "But Who Knows Where Or When" chapter nine, next week.)