Cole's Dreams

By Steve Thomas

Published on Jul 22, 2004

Gay

This is a work of pure fiction, (Just how pure is in question!) based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind of story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!

Cast of Characters: Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother Rod -- Coles middle brother Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend Gus Hartwin -- Rex's ex Michelle -- My old girlfriend. Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend

From Chapter 9:

"What happened to your homework?" Gus quipped.

"Fuck it! I can catch up!"

"Fuck `IT'?"

"Whatever!" I said, laughing.

"You guys!" Iggy said. "You're both too horny!"

"I know you are, but what am I?" Gus fired back at him. "You're just jealous!"

"You got that right!" Iggy said.

Gus and I usually don't "play" when Iggy is around, but we made an exception tonight. Well, at least in the shower. There's something really hot about making love under a hot wet shower -- and we both got it!

Chapter 10

My parents never said anything, but I knew they knew. They tried to act as if it was okay, but I know they were worried about me. Mom wondered why Rex never came over any more. NO ONE knew he was even sick. Well, my parents knew that much, but they didn't know why, and had not seen him since the sores came on. One Saturday morning he called and asked for Roddy.

"Hello, Rex dear." Mom said. "We have missed seeing you. Why don't you come around any more?"

"Trust me Ethyl, you aren't missing much! I'm not much to look at."

"Right! And I'm not too fat!" Mom said, chuckling.

"Roddy and Cole didn't tell you I'm sick?"

"No, Honey. If you're sick -- I told you to come over for more of my chicken soup! I'll expect you this afternoon."

"Ethyl, I better not. I - "

"Stuff and nonsense! Supper is at 1:00 PM sharp!"

"But - "

"The only butt allowed will be yours -- in your usual chair! Got that?"

"Yes'm."

"Rod, it's Rex." Mom said as she handed him the phone. "He's coming for supper at one."

"Rex? Hi!" Roddy said, walking out of the room. "How -- I mean -- you're comin' over huh?"

"Yeah. I think your mom and dad deserve to know what's going on. Before the time comes when - - it's too late."

"How are you gonna tell them?"

"Same way I told you."

"You didn't tell -- oh. Just let them figure it out when they see you."

"Yes. I think they'll get it. See yah at one."

"I didn't know Rex was still sick, Roddy. Why didn't you tell us?" Mom said.

"He only told us last week, Mom. I wasn't planning to come this week, but I thought -- I -- should."

"You know you can always bring the family. I miss those grandkids."

"They always have soccer and stuff, Mom. They'd love for you to come watch them play sometime."

"What's wrong with Rex?"

"I think I'll let him tell you that."

"Oh." She hesitated for a few moments, before adding, "Is it AIDS, Dear?" Rod looked at her as if he couldn't believe she could know. "Oh, come on, Roddy. Do you think your dad and I are completely ignorant? We knew Rex was gay." Rod couldn't help a quick -- and obvious -- glance over at me. I looked at the floor. "We know about you and Gus too, Cole."

My head snapped up so fast my neck cracked. I felt just like someone shot me. I shot a look at Gus. He looked as if he wanted a house to fall on him -- to hide him. "Mom -- I thought -- er -- knew you - - knew. I just thought we were gonna NOT talk about it." I looked her in the eye, and then back at the floor.

"Cole, you dated lots of girls, so we knew you gave it your best try. It's not as if you chose to be -- this way. We -- had suspicions when you were in high school."

Again, my head snapped up. "You Did?"

"Cole, when Rod was in high school, he had posters of girls up in his bedroom. You only had one. A football player crouched, ready to strike. Imagine my surprise when that same football player came into my living room a few months ago. She looked directly at Gus, who was also staring in unbelief at her.

"You had a poster of ME up in your room?" Gus said. "When did you take it down?"

"About two weeks after I put it up."

"It's still folded up in your closet, Cole." Mom said. "When Gus first came here in January, I went to your room after you guys left and got it out. Gus hasn't changed much in three years. Even though the poster was folded and refolded -- each time you got it out to look at it -- he was still recognizable.

I turned a deep red. I looked at Gus and his head was bowed, but I knew there were tears in his eyes.

" -- also," Mom continued, "When Rex could not lose that cold he had, I worried. But when I didn't hear any more, I actually forgot about it."

Mercifully, Roddy jumped in here. "Well, maybe you should brace yourself then. He looks pretty bad."

"Sores?"

"Yeah."

"Who's sore?" My dad walked in.

"Rex." Mom said. "He has AIDS. He's coming for supper. The boys say he looks pretty bad."

"Oh. Forewarned is forearmed. Glad you told me."

"So - " I stammered, "You guys have known about -- me -- almost longer than I have. I was not admitting it even to myself when I put that poster of Gus up. I took it down for that reason: it looked bad."

"But poor Rex! My mom said.

Dad added, "Yes. I know he was not being careful -- that's what causes it, I understand. But it just doesn't seem fair. Kids -- teenagers -- for ages have done things that put them at risk. No matter what those idiots that are suing the tobacco companies are saying, EVERYONE knows that smoking and tobacco is bad for you. But kids do it anyway. Same with this. They know unprotected sex is bad, but - - they think they will live forever." His voice broke. He shook his head and continued. "Rex was -- er, IS like one of our own sons to us, kids." I smiled. It felt good to be called a kid. "I hope you all can learn from Rex's fatal - - error. If he is to the stage that he has sores, I think it's too late for him. So - - how is he -- um -- holding up?"

Roddy spoke next. "I think he has sort of come to terms with - - it. He knows he's gonna die - - soon. I imagine he has his bad moments. It doesn't make it easier that his step-mom is such a bitch! She made his life hell before this. Now she's nothing but hateful. And his dad won't ever stick up for him."

"There's a shelter down in L.A. that takes cases like that."

"He knows. They even have like a hospice type area there. But in order to get in to it, there has to be physical abuse. Even in his weakened state, he's too big for her to abuse him physically."

My parents looked at us then at each other, and shook their heads.

We went outside and did some yard work. I still had some chores, which I happily did. One was mowing and trimming up the yards. Of course Gus always helped. As we worked, Roddy also helped, but we pretty much worked in silence, each thinking his own thoughts. When we came back into the house -- about 12:45, Mom said, "Boys? Come into the living room? Your father and I want to talk to you about something."

We assembled and my dad started talking. "Your mom and I have been discussing what we talked about earlier." He let that set for a moment. My mind was racing. Now that my secret was no longer a secret -- officially -- would there be new rules - or what? "Your mom and I discussed the situation over at Remlin's. We decided it was untenable for him to stay there any longer. We prayed about it -- don't look like that, boys. We didn't go to church, but we did pray -- when something serious was to be considered.

"We think we have come to a conclusion, but we still wanted to talk to you boys first. Would you guys have any objection to us inviting Rex to stay here -- until - - well, until the end. Your mom and I feel we can take better care of him -- than that woman is willing to."

"How can you even wonder what we would think?" I said.

"Roddy and Jazz both have children, Cole. It may not be wise to have them come over often with Rex here. If there was even a slight chance of them getting something from one of those sores, or -- whatever -- anyway", he hesitated for a moment, "We can go see the kids at your houses until it's -- safe -- for them to come here. Is that okay with you, Rod?"

Rod's eyes were filled with tears. I -- can't believe you would do that -- for - " He was too choked up to continue. The door bell rang.

"Guess he's early." Dad said. Mom went to the door and opened it. Rex stood outside the door, not knowing if he should step inside the house -- once they got a look at him. He had a light cotton jersey shirt on with a hood that he removed slowly. Mom smiled.

"Come in dear." She said. "Let's go have some supper!"

We went into the kitchen. The table was laid out with what equaled a holiday dinner. Rex looked stunned. "This doesn't look like chicken soup!"

he smiled.

"It's just a little of this and a little of that, dear. Kind of like the cleanout of the refrigerator -- kind of."

We talked about everything and anything during the meal except about the subject we were all thinking about. When supper was finished, dad cleared his throat.

"Rex, we knew what was wrong with you before you got here. We asked the boys and they confirmed it. Ep and I are so sorry -- SOOO sorry! Is there anything we can do?"

Shaking his head, Rex said, "I don't - - think - - so."

"Well, son, there is something we WANT to do -- if you will agree to it." Rex looked between my dad and mom, but said nothing. "Rex, we want you to -- come stay with us until -- well, for awhile. Ep has plenty of time to devote to taking care of you. And by your appearance, that will become more and more a necessity."

Rex's mouth dropped. "What? Why would you - - ?"

Dad's eyes were filling with tears. Rex was trying to hold his own back, but when he saw my dad, his quickly filled. "Rex, you are like a son to us.

You ARE a son to us. Roddy tells us that your situation at home is -- less than satisfactory. We want to -- want YOU to come live with us. Rex tried to talk. He couldn't. "So if you have no objection, the boys and I will help you get your stuff -- whenever you are ready."

I was so blown away. Two months ago, I was worried how to tell my parents I was gay. And now they are taking in -- and taking care -- of one of my closest friends who has AIDS. Everyone was crying. My dad continued, "I hope it won't cause hard feelings with your dad, Rex, but legally, you are 23, so this is totally your decision."

Finally Rex found his voice. "I -- er -- um -- can I -- I mean -- thanks -- um -- thank you so much! I don't want to be ungrateful, but - can I -- um -- think about it -- for a day or so?"

"Take all the time you need, son." Dad said.

After supper, Roddy, Gus and I walked Rex home. "What do you think, Rex?" Rod asked him.

"I don't know quite what to think, Rod. Your parents have always been so generous to me, but -- I'm not sure they know what they're getting in to. And also - - my parents -- my dad and my step-mom -- have never really been there for me. I really believe that they made me what I am. I know I don't have much time to live, but -- I think they need to bear some responsibility of their own actions. It really isn't as bad as you may think at my house."

"But Rex,"

"I'll think about it, Roddy -- I will!" We had reached Rex's house. We said our goodbyes and walked home. Roddy broke the silence.

"I think he is trying to get even."

"Seems like it, doesn't it?" I said.

"But -- that can't be a good way to -- die." He seemed to be talking to himself.

"Rex hasn't been very good at making decisions, Roddy. And maybe he deserves to see them -- suffer -- or something. I don't know!" I said.

"I think," Gus offered, "that maybe this may be a way for him to make some peace with both his dad and his step-mom."

"Well, he made it clear that he was going to make this decision himself."

"Yeah, that's always been his m.o." Said Gus. "When we were together, he never asked me what I thought. But -- he is capable of deep thinking sometimes. Maybe he will make the right choice this time -- But I'm not sure what IS the right choice."

We came in the back door. "Do you think he will do it, Rod?" Dad said.

"I dunno. He seems more bent on punishing his parents than his own comfort." Roddy said. I nodded.

"Oh noooo!" My mom said. "He deserves better! I'm going over there and "

"Now Ep! This is something he has to do himself. We have made the invitation. He has to accept it freely. Otherwise, all we may accomplish is to make him resent us." Dad said.

Mom started to cry. "Those people! Those horrible people! I - "

"They're not horrible, Ep. They have a different life experience than we have -- and act and react in a different way than you and I. I happen to think our way is better too, but they aren't horrible."

"Hrmph!" Gus uttered almost under his breath.

"You don't agree, Gus?" Dad said.

Gus looked surprised, like he didn't realize we heard his reaction.

"Oh! Ummmm -- well, he and I used to be -- um -- you know -- together. They -- especially that woman -- really didn't care anything about him. Both of them only care for themselves. The only reason his dad is decent to him is -- well, I guess because he's his dad. But that bitch -- sorry -- hated that he was even there. I used to make excuses for Rex because I know what he had to live with, but - - when I realized he was so -- you know -- slept around -- I could forgive him because I knew that's all he learned from them.

"But I also couldn't put myself in danger -- so I left. It really hurt me -- a lot. I got myself tested -- and I'm clean. I want you to know that."

Mom looked at dad. "Maybe I should at least call him -- reassure him we really meant what we said."

"I guess that would be okay. Thank you for your honesty Gus."

Mom called Rex and told him that what she and dad had offered was not something rash, and that they even discussed it with the family first. They knew it would be hard, but still wanted to be there for him.

"I guess we just put it in God's hands now." She said after she hung up.

When Gus and I returned to our dorm it was in perfect order. A note was on Gus's desk.

"Dear Gus and Cole,

"Sorry I couldn't wait, but Dex got an opportunity to study in Vienna, and wanted me to go with him -- immediately. I'll miss you guys a lot. I'll let you know when we arrive. Love, Igor."

I at first felt like the bottom was dropping out again. I hate it when people leave. I guess I didn't realize how much I would miss Iggy. Then Gus touched me -- and reminded me that we were all alone. I got goose bumps all over, and giggled. We stared into each others' eyes for a moment, then as if this were a moment that could be lost, we at once attacked each other, pulling, tearing our clothes off. As we stood there naked face to face we stopped and looked into each others eyes -- serious for a moment, the we started to laugh.

"God, you look good, Cole!" He said to me.

"I was gonna say the same thing!" I replied.

He grabbed me first, and we pulled into a crunching hug and when our mouths met, our tongued were immediately caressing one another. Of course there were a couple rods between us demanding to be felt. We repositioned ourselves so they could kiss each other too, and worked out hipr so they were in constant arousal. Our hands were on each others' butts and backs and we massaged and kneaded each other.

Finally, he picked me up and carried me to the bed. He was on top of me, so I let him take the helm and drive the boat. Neither of us had even thought to brush our teeth or anything, but it didn't matter. Nothing had ever tasted as sweet as he tasted to me at this moment. I could tell that he felt the same. His hand slipped between our bodies and grabbed my throbbing tool. When he squeezed it, I let out a little moan, and I felt some precum squish out. He stopped, wiped it and brought it up to his nose. He looked "love you!" to me and licked it off his fingers, then went back for more.

There was plenty to go around. He was leaking pretty abundantly himself. Using some from each of us, he slipped his hand between my legs and flirted with my anal sphincter. I let out another moan, and tightened it up. Then I willed it to relax. His wet fingers slipped easily in, but I let out a little high pitched cry anyway. He finger-fucked me like he was making passionate love to me, kissing me all the while, and at the same time, his thrusting was getting more pronounced.

All of a sudden he popped down there with his mouth and took the head of my willing dick into his mouth. He continued his finger activity while he bobbed up and down on my shaft. That stimulation, accompanied by his action in my rear end brought me to a very fast head. I was panting and gulping to try to stave it off, but he only went faster, and I exploded into his mouth.

The feeling of cumming and being fingered at the same time was almost more than I could take. I began to whimper like a little baby -- not because it hurt, but because I had no other way to express the intense sensation and emotion that were taking over my whole body.

When he stopped sucking -- all the cum was gone -- he kept up the finger fucking and came back to my mouth and kissed me deep, emptying the contents of my orgasm -- or what was left of it -- into my mouth. I was used to just stopping when I came, but he didn't stop. He replaced his fingers with his cock and it filled up my hole. Even though I had just cummed, I felt as if I was still having an orgasm, and he started to pound my ass with his thrusting. I felt my spunk trying to rise again, as he started to moan and breath heavily.

Once he started to cum, and trying -- not very successfully -- to squelch his cries, I again felt that familiar feeling rising up in my body. My own cries joined his and we both came so hard that when it was over, we couldn't speak. It was all we could do to catch our breath. I started to shake, like I was having a fit. Then my body DID start to convulse. I started to flop all over my side of the bed. Tears were pouring down my face.

When he realized something was wrong, he grabbed me and pinned me with his body. He held me tight until the convulsing stopped.

"Cole? COLE? Wake up!" he hollered. He put his head to my chest, "NOOooooo! Cole! Wake up dammit!? He shook me. I couldn't feel it. I heard a slapping sound. I then realized he was slapping me -- my face. But I couldn't feel it, because I was floating somewhere near the ceiling, looking down at him and my body.

Someone else poked a head in the room.

"What's going - "

"Call 911!" Gus commanded. Then he blew air into my mouth -- or in my body's mouth. He listened. And did it again, cried, and then hit my chest. "START, DAMN YOU!" He was desperate. My heart broke for him. I wanted to help him -- only because I loved him. I didn't care about the body laying there.

He blew some more breath into my mouth and my chest rose again. He hit my chest again over my heart. I heard a weird gurgling sound and felt myself being pulled down. "NOOOOOooooo!" I cried out. "I have never hurt anyone!" All I could think of was in "ghost" when the evil sprits came to drag the bad guys down to hell. I felt myself dragged lower and lower. All of a sudden my body coughed and I was looking straight into Gus's wet eyes.

"He's breathing!" Gus yelled to someone. "Can you hear me, Cole?"

"Yeah, I can hear you Dude. Man that was scary wasn't - "

"Cole! Can you hear me?" Re repeated louder as if -- oh no! I could hear him -- but he couldn't hear me!

"What's going on?" Another voice

"It's my Part -- my roommate. He started convulsing and then passed out." Gus said. He's breathing now, but can't hear me."

"Don't bet on it. But he can't answer you back?" the other voice said. Then his face appeared above mine. He was a guy a little older than us -- an EMT.

"Why don't you get dressed, Dude. And get him some clothes too, while we strap him to this flat." The EMT said. "Name?"

"Gus Hartwin."

"Good. I'm Ed. And your's?"

"No -- that IS my name. His is Cole -- Cole Stephanson."

"Okay. Did I hear you say -- are you guys partners -- I mean boyfriends?"

"Erm -- uh -- yeah." Gus stammered. Is he gonna be okay."

"I don't know. His vitals seem to be fine. My guess is a stroke. Secure his feet, Manolo." He spoke to then other guy. "How old is he?"

"We're -- I mean -- he's -- 20 -- almost 21."

"Any idea what brought this on?"

"No -- we were -- I mean -- that is - " Gus still stammered.

"Dude! We don't give a crap what you were doing! Were you having sex?"

"Yes." Gus almost whispered.

A slight smile came to Ed's face. "Now that's something we can understand -- can't we Manolo?"

Then he looked into my eyes. "I don't know if you can hear me, partner, but we're gonna get you right to the hospital. Don't you worry; you're in good hands with Manolo and me!" I tried again to answer but they ignored me, so I guess I wasn't heard.

"So -- Gus is it? Should we call anyone else -- to maybe meet us at the hospital?"

"Oh! Shit!" Gus said. "Yeah -- his parents."

"NO! Don't call them!" I shrieked, realizing even before I finished that they couldn't hear me.

They both looked at me. "Oh, NOW we hear from him!" Ed said. "Very often, when the answer is important enough, they wake up!"

"How old are you, Cole?"

"Gus already told you." I said. "And you have three fingers showing on your hand.

"So you heard us?"

"Everything."

"Well, you are 20, and so you are legally a man. Do you have insurance?"

"My parents do. Oh." It finally hit me.

"Yeah. They will need to know."

"Everything?" I asked, supremely embarrassed.

"Look. What story you tell them at the ER is your business. I suggest you clear it with your partner." And he winked at me. Manolo finished securing my feet.

"Is this really necessary now?" I asked, indicating the flat I was secured to.

"Probably not." Ed answered. "But it CAN get you into the ER faster!" He smirked.

"Do I HAVE to go in to the ER now?"

"No, but -- we still have to file a report, and we will still have to bill your insurance. You should find out what caused your seizure."

"I thought that we already knew that!" I said.

"It's not normal to seize during sex.."

"It was a second orgasm." I said, as if to explain something.

"Brag all you want, guy -- it would still be wise to get checked." He was grinning now, ear to ear.

"You better call your folks, Cole." Gus said.

"(Sigh!) I know. Dial it for me and hold the phone to my ear."

"Hello?" It was my mom's groggy voice.

"Hi, Mom."

"Are you okay. It's late."

"I'm okay. Well, sort of. I had an accident."

"WHAT!!?? Where are you? Cole, wake up. Your son has been in an accident."

"Is he okay?" I heard Dad say.

"He says he is."

"Then how is the car." Said Dad.

"COLE!" My mom was incensed at that question.

"Well?? If he's okay, then he must be calling about the accident. How is the Pontiac?"

"Cole, where are you now?" She was now addressing me again.

"In my dorm."

"Is Rex there?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Why did you call?" She asked, ignoring my dad's question.

"Tell dad the car is fine. It wasn't an auto accident. I'm being taken to the hospital in a minute."

"What??!! I thought you said -- are you okay?"

"Like I said -- sort of."

"COLE! Stop playing games. This isn't funny!"

"Cole this is your dad. What happened?"

"I -- uh -- had a seizure."

"A SEIZURE!!" My mom shrieked in the background.

"What -- why -- er -- how did it -- I mean -- what brought it on?"

"I was -- having -- er -- a -- a RUN! I was running!"

"Cole, you don't run. And it's too late to be running." Dad said. He sounded sarcastic.

"That's probably the problem." I said, flustered.

"Okay, son. Whatever you say. What hospital?" My dad had already figured it out!

"What hospital?" I asked Ed.

"USC Med Center."

"USC Med Center -- County General." I said.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Are we leaving now?" I asked Ed.

"As soon as you're off the phone."

"I heard that, Son. See you there." Click!

"I guess that's that." I said.

As they carried me to the ambulance, Ed said, "Out running at this late hour. Could be dangerous in this neighborhood."

"Yes," said Manolo. "Some cute coed might molest you!" Manolo had a distinct accent. Kind of Spanish, but more like -- maybe European. He had the cutest smile -- no it was more than that. There was something innocent about it -- and -- I don't know -- angelic or something.

"Are you guys -- together?" I asked.

"Us?" Ed said. "NOT! Manolo prefers older guys! My partner is closer to your age."

This was so weird to me. Talking so freely about this with strangers. They loaded me into the Ambulance. Ed drove, but Manolo stayed with me and Gus.

"How -- old -- is your -- boyf -- erm -- partner?" I asked Manolo.

"He is very old. But he doesn't seem to be. He is married and had grown children."

"He's married?" I asked, not able to keep the surprise out of my voice.

"Yes. We fell in love over the internet."

"And he brought you here from - - " Manolo chuckled. "No. My family is very rich. I am very rich. I do this to keep busy. I am from Spain. I moved here to be near Steve."

"Steve is your married -- um - "

"Lover? Yes. And we are very much in love. We could not stay apart."

"What about his family?" I asked. "Oh, I'm sorry, Never mind."

"No it's okay. They do not know about us. They know we are friends. But no more."

"Wow!" I said.

"It's hard to explain. I love him so much, I am willing to share him with his family. He tells me it is not fair to me. That he feels bad when he has to break engagements at the last minute for a family obligation."

"I guess!" I said.

"But it is okay." Manolo said cheerily. "I accept it as my life. I love him. I KNOW he loves me." He looked as if far away. His head started to shake involuntarily. He smiled. "It is my twitch. I was in an automobile accident a few years ago."

We pulled into the emergency room ambulance port. They carried me into the ER. It was almost empty. I guess Monday night was not a busy night. At least THIS Monday night.

Notes: No notes of any import. Only that I am as surprised at this as you are. Any comments may be addressed to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Please put "cole" in the subject line. Thanks and love. Steve

Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.

Next: Chapter 11


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