Cole's Dreams

By Steve Thomas

Published on Sep 16, 2004

Gay

Cast of Characters:

Cole Alexander Stephanson IV -- Our hero Jazz -- (Jack Zachary) Coles oldest brother

Rod -- Coles middle brother Igor (Iggy) -- Cole's Tutoring Pupil

Cole Alexander Stephanson III -- Coles Dad Ethyl Stephanson -- Cole's mom

Rex Remlin-- Rod's best friend Gus Hartwin -- Cole's Boyfriend

Michelle -- Cole's old girlfriend. Dexter -- Iggy's boyfriend

Ed -- Paramedic Manolo -- Paramedic

Steve -- Manolo's boyfriend Diane -- Jazz's wife

From Chapter 13:

"Thanks, guys. I'm sorry to burden you with all this crap of mine."

"No -- really, Steve. It's okay." Gus said. "If you need to talk, let us know -- any time." I smiled at Gus. He made a face at me.

Steve gasped and sighed again, then, "Thanks. But I think right now, I need more than talk!"

"What -- do you -- mean?" I asked -- afraid of the answer.

"You guys -- ever -- consider -- um -- a threesome?" Steve timidly asked. He was still hugging me. I wondered if he could feel the surge and bump I felt down below!

Chapter 14

My whole body stiffened up! I pushed Steve away -- gently. I looked at Gus. His reaction was similar to mine, I thought. "Steve -- uh -- Gus and I are a couple." Gus was nodding. "We -- uh -- don't do that."

"It's okay -- it's okay!" Steve reassured, but it was obvious he was disappointed. "But If I never asked, then I would always wonder, wouldn't I?"

"I guess." I said. Gus looked like he was getting pissed.

"What the fuck kind of game are you playing anyway? You have a wife and family -- and you want to play with guys too! Do you know how devastated Manolo was when he left? He was - " Gus stopped.

Steve was energized by the comment. "He was? He felt bad?"

"Well, what the fuck do you think? You think young guys like us don't have feelings? It's only older guys like you who deserve to have feelings? Why don't you leave you wife and go after Manolo -- or -- someone else!? I don't know if there's a term for what you are doing, but it bites!"

"I -- I'm -- not - " Steve started shakily. "I'm not doing anything to purposely hurt anyone. And -- if you think Manolo is hurt -- well, so am I. You can't possibly understand my situation -- what I've been through with that woman."

"Then leave her!"

"That's what you don't understand. I can't. We are a family! I can't just leave."

"Then leave guys like us alone!"

Steve's eyes were clearly wet. His voice was hoarse. "Gus -- Cole -- I'm sorry I asked. Really. I don't know what to do. I guess -- I'll go now."

He got out of the car and headed over to his own. Gus looked at me, and then got a guilty look on his face. He knew I had already told him that we could not understand what Steve was going through. He started my car and drove over to Steve's.

"Steve!" Steve was just sitting in his car looking down. He looked up. "Steve, I'm sorry. Maybe I spoke to -- too -- fast -- or something. Call when you're ready to talk some more, and - - I'll try to be -- umm -- understanding." Steve's hand went up in a quick wave. He started his car and left.

"Don't look at me like that!" Gus said to me.

"I'm not looking at you in any way." I said.

"It felt like you were!" He challenged.

"Maybe I was -- a little." I said. "I just thought you kinda were kicking him when he was down. Thanks for what you just told him, though."

"You -- you -- listened to that whole thing and didn't say anything. Thanks for that much."

"You -- I mean -- I -- um -- love you! And -- really I thought he needed to hear what you were saying. I just -- may have picked a better time to say it."

"Cole -- babe -- I'm sorry for my language. I know how you feel about that. You can remind me, you know. I really admire your self control."

"Well, it's not really self control. I just never got used to using it. It does kind of grate on me when -- when you do."

"I know it does -- I can tell. I'm sorry. I'll try to improve. You can remind me."

"Yeah! I can just imagine how you'd feel if I interrupted a rant, and - "

"I didn't mean while I was trying to make a point. No, that would not be cool. Actually just seeing you wince as I was saying those things reminded me. But you have such better vocabulary than me."

"Than I." I teased.

"That's what I mean."

"No, you were talking vocabulary. That's grammar."

"Okay, now you're starting to bug me. Anyway, I'm just telling you -- I'm sorry and you can remind me."

"Okay. No grammar or vocabulary lessons. Only filthy language lessons -- right?"

"Right" He said.

"So," I said, "Do you want me to suck your dick here and now -- in the car? Or should we wait until we get home and you can just fuck my brains out?" I managed to say it with a straight face. Gus busted out laughing.

"And now you LAUGH at me!" I said, pouting.

"I do love you, Cole Alex Stephanson the fourth! How's about we do both?"

It was dark enough by this time, but I was only kidding. I didn't want to risk getting caught by someone walking by. I told him that. "No problem!" He said, as he pulled out into the street and headed for home. But as soon as he was on the road, he unzipped his pants and let out his Mr. happy -- and it was already looking pretty happy! I stared at it, grinning. "So - - ? You gonna just gawk at it -- or are you gonna show me how you can soften it up?"

I said, "You -- you're -- driving!"

"Duh! And you're wasting time! Get to work, Slacker!"

I giggled and unbuckled my seat belt. "Please drive carefully!" I begged. "Don't want to get into an accident in this position! Hee hee!"

I didn't have to suck very long. Maybe it was the excitement and the danger, but he came quickly and powerfully. I was afraid he WAS gonna get in an accident! Talk about a full load! When he was done, I stayed there for a few moments sucking on his softening piece of flesh.

"That feels great, Sweetie, but maybe you should re-buckle your belt." I did so and kept rubbing something rock hard in my jeans. "Say, I have a better idea, Sweetie." He said. "When we get home, instead of me fucking your brains out, why don't you fuck mine out?!!"

"Hey!" I said sternly. "Watch your language!"

"What???!!! But you just said - "

"I'm not the one with the problem!" I quipped.

"Oh!" He said, curtly. "Pardon me sir! I'm sorry, Sir!"

"That's better!" I droned.

"And sir - - ?"

"Yes?"

"Sir -- um -- fuck you, SIR!"

I was still rubbing my crotch and now laughing out loud.

When we pulled into our driveway, we saw that Jazz's SUV was there. We looked at each other, both a bit disappointed. When we got in the house, we said our hellos and headed down the hall to drop our books off. Jazz said, "So -- sorry, guys. We're staying the night and you will have to bunk together tonight. My family will need both other rooms. Sorry." Jazz didn't approve of Gus' and my relationship, but he was at least joking about it tonight.

"We'll manage." I threw back at him, as if he didn't know we slept together. Even Mom laughed at that. We had a good family night with Jazz and his family. We played games that the little kids could participate in. My mom always makes sure everyone is included. Jazz's wife, Diane was a little subdued, but she usually was.

After the kids went to bed, Jazz asked me how I was doing in school. I told him I had to drop a couple classes because of my eye. "That's why I am here tonight, Cole."

"What?" I asked.

"My company has developed some new software -- that translates written language to audio."

"I've heard about it." I said. "But it's not that new, is it?"

"This is. The current technology can't translate on the fly."

"What's that mean?" I asked.

"It's okay for letters and papers -- books and stuff. But it's not good for stuff like chat rooms and instant messaging. This new stuff can do that. Or at least they are working toward it. I was wondering - - do you think you'd like to try it out -- test it for us?"

"I'm not blind!" I said defensively. Jazz looked at dad. Then back to me.

"Cole -- enough research has been done -- on cases such as yours -- and it is pretty safe to say - - there is a pretty fair chance that you will be blind before you're 30."

"That's not for ten years!" I said.

"Cole, please -- I'm not picking on you -- or talking down to you. But it could happen any time. It would be nice if you could -- learn this stuff before it happens -- so there is no -- um -- learning curve -- that will slow down your studies -- when it does happen."

"Jazz!" I almost exploded. "I will be all DONE with my education before -- before -- NO! I don't need that - - yet!"

I was stunned. I had never thought about it happening quite that soon. I was angry. Angry at Jazz. Angry at myself. Angry at God. Angry at life! I felt like a 9-year-old boy! I wanted to cry, but didn't. "I'm sorry Cole. I didn't mean to - " Jazz said, "I'm sorry." Was all he could say.

I excused myself and went into my room -- OUR room. I sat on the bed, brooding over what went on out there. After a short time, Gus came in. He sat next to me. He put his arm on my shoulders. He squeezed my arm, and patted my leg with the other hand. He could tell I didn't want to talk, so we sat there in silence for about five minutes. I couldn't tell him what I was thinking and - - luckily - - he didn't ask.

I was so afraid that if I was to go blind -- especially before I was out of school -- that Gus would leave. As if he was reading my mind, he said, finally, "Cole, I'll never -- NEVER -- leave you." I started to cry. He held me and lay me down on the bed. He undressed me and opened up the sheets for me to climb in. He then undressed himself and climbed in next to me.

I felt hot, but Gus's skin was cool. He reached up and turned off the light. We lay there silently for about 5 minutes, when a knock came at the bedroom door. Jazz stuck his head in. He saw us lying spooned together. He looked like he wanted to say something then thought better of it.

"Coley," He was the only one to still call me that sometimes. "Coley, I'm sorry that I upset you. I love you -- and would never do anything to hurt you." In the light that came in from the hall, he could not see my glassy eyes. "but -- well -- if you -- um -- change your mind -- let me know. He started to leave, then came over and leaning all the way over Gus, he kissed my cheek. What he did next he blew me away. He kissed Gus on the cheek too. "Welcome to the family Gus!" He said. I was speechless!

"Thanks!" Gus said. And he kissed Jazz back. And I promise - - Gus was aiming for Jazz's cheek, but Jazz turned his head, and the kiss got him squarely on the mouth! Jazz stepped quickly to the door. As he was about to leave, he said, "Nice lips, Gus!" and he giggled a little and closed the door.

After he was gone, "THAT was interesting!" I said. "What are the odds!?"

"He did that on purpose!" Gus said.

"I don't think so!" I replied. "He has been the most judgmental one in the family. I think he just has finally accepted you -- as a brother."

"Now," Gus said, "Who was going to fu -- er -- schtoop -- whose brains out tonight?"

"I don't quite remember, but I have a strong itch deep inside where I can't scratch it myself." I said.

"I think I can probably reach that place for you."

I rolled over on top of him. He pushed me off, got out of bed and went to the door and locked it. Then he came back and gently wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. Jazz was right! Gus DOES have nice lips! As I climbed on top of him, his hips were already gyrating. I sat upright, and after gobs of lube, I eased down on his waiting pole. "Wow!" He said. "Where did you pick this up?"

"Just popped into my head. I must have read about it somewhere." As we were whispering, I was still easing my way all the way down on to him. When I hit bottom -- and he was deeper inside me than ever before -- I started to raise up and down. He pulled me down to kiss me. I couldn't do all the work in that position, so Gus started to thrust too. It wasn't too long before both of us were panting -- quietly, mind you -- in chorus with each other. I felt like any moment I was going to blow a gasket and come all over both of us -- but he came first. I felt it shoot deep into my colon. He could not contain his groans.

He was out of breath by the time he finished, and I had not cum yet. After he caught his breath, he said, "Oh! I thought you came too! Where did it go?"

"I laughed quietly, and said, nope! Came close though!"

"Well, we're gonna have to fix that!" He started to turn me over. I said,

"Wait. I wanna try something else." I smiled, and went to the bathroom and got a wet cloth to wash him up. "Relax." I commanded.

"Man, you're just full of surprises tonight. What's next?"

"You'll see." I said as I carefully cleaned him off. Then I lay down beside him, 69. He knew what I wanted but still was perplexed.

"Sweetie, it's too soon. I'm not ready."

"It's okay. You take the top." I answered.

He shrugged and straddled me on all fours and started to suck my piece of rock hard meat. It was so hard it was tender at first, but very quickly, my hips seemed to start meeting his bobbing head. Then I clamped on to his soft meat and sucked with the passion that only someone can have while being sucked! If he had trouble containing his noise, I had more. Only his soft dick in my mouth muffled some of it, as my nose was fondling the soft skin of his ball sack. I came and came and came, as he took it all in with some difficulty. Well, he didn't swallow it all. It was our tradition to give some back in a kiss. I especially wanted that, since I didn't taste any yet this night. When I was finished, he came down to my end of the bed and gave me what I wanted.

"Gosh, Cole! That was hot. And it felt better than I imagined it would! Where did you learn that?"

All the while we were kissing and cuddling. "Oh, I was chatting with this old dude in the library -- online -- and he told me it was fun." As I spoke, I could feel that he was by now, regenerating. I grabbed and squeezed his quickly hardening flesh and said, "Wanna try it?"

"I'm a little worried about the noise, Sweetie." He said.

"We'll do our best!" I said as I turned back up to the head of the bead and straddled him. He sucked on my soft dick and I repeated what he had done for me. By the time we were finished, I was getting hard again, so I jacked off while we kissed and I was able to save most of his spunk to give back to him. I went off the second time while we kissed and it came out all over my stomach. He slurped it up, and then lay cuddled up next to me. I was asleep before it dried.

The next morning was Saturday, so we slept in a bit. Something woke me just before the door handle turned. But it was locked. "You guys awake?" I heard a soft voice call.

I eased out of bed. Gus was still asleep. I quietly opened the door. It was Jazz. "He asleep?" He said.

"Yeah," I whispered back, "just a minute -- gotta get something on."

He reached in and pulled me out -- naked -- into the hall. "Kids are in the other room, with their mom. Come into my room!" He pulled me into his room and then closed the door. He handed me a robe. "I was jealous of you last night." He said.

"Wha -- at?" I whispered.

His eyes filled with tears. "Coley, I'm so sorry that I have given you such a bad time -- about -- you know what. But last night, when Gus kissed me -- I finally admitted something to myself." I stared at him in silence, pretty much knowing what was coming, but not believing it.

"Coley, I have always wondered -- but almost subconsciously -- what it would be like." I nodded. "I was so afraid of it though - - I always pushed that thought away if it ever presented itself. But when Gus kissed me last night -- it was my fault, I know -- and I felt his warm, full lips on mine -- and his soft, short, days-growth of beard graze my cheek -- something snapped inside me. I almost ran to our room. Luckily the lights were out, and she was almost asleep. I lay there awake until long after - - after -- you guys were finished."

"I'm sorry, Jazzy." I reverted back to what I called him as a child. "But - "

"No, it's okay Coley. It's okay. I don't think she heard you -- but I did -- and it was -- it was -- amazing -- hot!"

"Wow"! I exclaimed.

"Coley, I was barely rubbing myself -- afraid to do anything more -- afraid of waking her up. Before long, I heard you guys doing it again -- and again -- then again! I didn't realize how excited I was becoming. Completely unexpectedly, I started to cum!. Coley, it has been months since we last -- and -- of course I masturbate some, but it's not the same. I was almost strangling to keep myself quiet as it seemed like quarts of the stuff started to spread all over my stomach and in my pubes. I was sure that she was going to wake up, but she didn't.

"One of the kids started to cry -- long after you -- and I -- were finished. That woke her up! She looked at me and in the dark thought I was asleep. She slipped out and into their room, and didn't come back. After I was sure that she was staying, I jacked off and came a second time -- trying to imagine what you and Gus must have been doing."

I sat there and watched him, wide eyed and completely blown away. "Coley -- um -- do you think -- um -- I don't even know how to ask this, but umm - "

I spoke up. After our conversation with Steve, last night, I was pretty sure of my answer. "Jazz -- we don't do that. We have in the past, but no more. It's just the two of us from now on."

"Oh! I mean even if - "

"I'm sorry, Jazzy, even if -- anything -- we don't do threesomes."

"What?" Jazz said.

"Threesomes -- we don't do it."

"Threesomes!?" he exclaimed. "Ohhhhh! Noooo! That's not what I was -- oh god no! Although I just got goose bumps at the thought! No, I wouldn't do that. Oh no! I couldn't do that. I'm married! Oh no! I just would love to watch sometime. That's all."

"Oh!" I said. "I -- I don't -- um -- know. I don't know if Gus would want to -- do that. And actually, I'm not sure I would either. Ummm -- how are you and Diane getting along. Did you say it had been -- months?"

"Cole, she just -- isn't interested -- any more."

"Wow!" I said "When did this start?"

"Well, it just -- really -- it just has gotten worse. She's never liked sex that much."

"But you -- do it -- obviously." I said.

"Yeah, but -- she only does it as an obligation."

"Well, she does it because she loves you - - right?"

"I -- I don't know Cole. I'm not sure she has the capacity to love -- anyone."

"But, Jazz!" I exclaimed. "You loved her when you got married! Didn't you? And she -- loved you?"

"I think I did, Coley. But I'm not sure she ever knew how. Her parents are cold and stiff people. You've met them. You know what I'm talking about."

"Jazzy -- I just never thought about it. I -- don't know what to say! Gosh, I love Gus so much! And I think he loves me as much. I -- I'm so sorry." I really was at a total loss what to say to him. All those years with someone that you are not even sure you love -- and you don't think loves you!

"Well, you kinda get used to it, Coley. I just feel bad that - - I took some of my frustration on you. I'm still struggling a little with your -- um -- lifestyle. But I know that I was getting some kind of sick satisfaction that `at least I wasn't THAT way'! Then I realized -- I am!" His eyes filled with tears. I got up and wrapped my arms around him. Seeing my big brother cry of course hit me hard, and I started too.

"Jazz -- is -- is there -- anything that -- I can do?"

"Probably not." He said. "Unless you and Gus want to do what I asked about earlier." He said, as he squeezed me tight. The robe I had on was open and he only had pajama bottoms on, so I felt his woody with that hug. It kinda grossed me out, momentarily, then I just ignored it and hugged him back.

"I'll -- I'll -- talk to Gus, Jazzy."

"You don't have to, Cole -- really. It was just a kind of fantasy I had."

"Still, I'll talk to him. Jazz -- have you ever thought about -- well, of course you HAVE, I know, but -- have you ever seriously thought about leaving?"

"I couldn't leave my kids, Cole -- ever."

"Jazz, I'm so proud of you!"

"Me? Why?"

"You always -- well -- do the right thing. Sometimes when I was younger -- I used to hate that. But I didn't really. I always knew I could count on you to do the right thing."

"Thanks, Cole. I needed to hear that. But you know, I have always held you in a similar place. I mean, I was disappointed that you went gay -- and now I realize there was jealousy there too -- that kept me from seeing things quite straight. But I have always known you were a good boy and now you're a good man."

"What -- me? A man? Oh no! Not me! Not yet!"

"You're 21 on your next birthday! You were legally a man at 18."

"I know. But -- not really. But -- even when I do turn 21 -- or at any age -- please don't stop calling my Coley!"

"Oh you like that? Heh! I'm glad. And you too -- I like the way you say `Jazzy'. I really feel that way when you say it."

"You feel -- um -- Jazzy." I quipped.

"Yup! Otherwise. I feel kind of stuffy a lot of the time." He said. I smirked. "Yeah, I know you think so too!" I started to shake my head, but my smirk turned in to a wide grin.

"Well, okay -- maybe sometimes!" I said, and I kissed him on the cheek. "But - - stick with me, bro -- I'll give you `cool lessons'! You'll need them as kids go into their teens."

"Deena already is! Well, she's 12, anyway."

"Wow! I've been an uncle for 12 years?"

"'Fraid so! Makes you feel old huh?"

"Y -- y -- ye -- no!" I laughed.

"I'm not sure cool can be learned." Jazz said.

"Cole? You in there?" It was Gus.

"Yeah. Come in!" I said as I pulled the robe back around me.

"I was -- oh! Hi Jazz." Said Gus.

"We were having a brotherly chat." I said.

"Cool." He said, coming in. My mom was next.

"Jazz - ?"

"I'm here." He said.

"Where are the kids?" Mom said.

"In the other room. Diane's in there with them."

"No - she's not -- and - - they're not."

Jazz tore into the other room. He came back with a note. "Didn't you see this?" He said to Mom.

He looked at it and became more and more agitated as he read it. "She says she has taken the kids home. She wants me to - - pick up my things this weekend! WHAT!!??"

Jazz collapsed on the bed, and continued to read. "she says she has never loved me -- and knows I don't love here -- any more."

"Oh Jazz!" mom said. What about the kids?"

"She's NOT getting them! She doesn't even want them!"

"Oh Jazz that can't be -- I am a mother and - "

"She told me already. They drive her crazy! That's why I usually come here with the kids without her. To give her a break. She'll get tired of them!"

"Jazz, I've tried to give her every benefit of the doubt. I hope I didn't have anything to do with - "

"No, Mom. Not at all."

"She'll change her mind, honey. Just go home, and she's probably already wishing she didn't do this."

"She might, Mom. But I'm not sure I WANT her to. She was right in the letter. She has never loved me, and I don't think I love her any more."

"Do you want us to go home with you, Jazz?" Gus said. "I sure as hell wouldn't want to be alone at a time like this! Oh! Sorry Mrs. Stephanson."

"No -- thanks, Gus. I can handle this. It's been coming for longer than I want to admit."

"What I don't get is - - why is SHE leaving YOU?" I asked.

"Who knows? If I could figure out why Diane does a lot of things -- well, maybe I wouldn't have - " Jazz stopped and cocked his head. "This is a really weird feeling."

"What's weird?" Dad asked, walking in the room.

"Diane has -- left me, I guess."

"No surprise there." Dad said.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"I've noticed for the last year -- at least -- that there doesn't seem to be any -- spark or something -- between them -- you and Diane, Jazz."

"I know." Jazz said.

"But -- you never mentioned this to me!" Mom said, incensed,

"Men don't feel the need to talk about every feeling they get, Ep."

"I know!" Mom answered. "If they did, they might have to - "

"Anyway -- what feels weird is -- I feel these two feelings -- both at once. I feel a deep sadness -- and at the same time, a huge sense of relief!"

"Sadness?" Dad said.

"I've NEVER been able to satisfy her." Tears came to his eyes. "Dad, before we got married, you told me that my primary objective in sex was to satisfy my wife. I already believed that, but when you told me, it solidified it in my brain somehow. I have never been able to do it!"

"I'm sorry I ever said that, Son. Even though I believe it's true, anyone with a brain can see that Diane is frigid. Not only sexually, but emotionally -- her whole life and personality is cold."

"Well, I wouldn't - "

"I know you wouldn't, Ep. Maybe that's why I love you! You're so nice!" He pecked her on the cheek. "But sometimes the truth needs to be told -- and I think this is one of those times. Jazz, has Diane been -- um -- DOING anything -- umm -- out of the ordinary -- lately?"

"Well, for the last year or so, she's been going out with her girlfriends a lot -- at night -- and drinking. She said it was to unwind after a grueling day with the `brats'." That brought more tears to his eyes.

"Maybe she should get a job." Dad said.

"A mother should be home with her children!" Mom reminded us.

"Obviously that's not always true!" Dad said.

"Maybe, Dad, but I think it's too late for the job thing." Said Jazz. "Anyway, I better go and deal with the present crisis."

"Not until after breakfast, young man!" Mom said.

"I'm not hungry. And my kids are more important than breakfast, Mom."

He hugged each of us before he left for home. I didn't envy him, but I was in awe of his bravado as he left.

"Well, the rest of you can have a good breakfast!" Mom said. She lives for cooking and cleaning for us! "It'll be ready in 20 minutes!"

20 minutes gave us time to shower and get ready for the day. I planned a long run, and Gus was game to go with me. The quickie in the shower didn't take away our energy too much!

We had a pretty busy day. I mean we washed and vacuumed the car and mowed and trimmed the lawn, and the oild needed to be changed in the Pontiac. But doing it together was fun. We both took a long nap on the lounges in the back yard. About 4:30, Gus said, "I have a surprise for you tonight."

"What?" I said, expectantly.

"A girl in my psyche class gave me two tickets to see Harvey Korman and Tim Conway."

"Who?"

"Harvey Korman and Tim Conway. Apparently they are two old comedians."

"Oh. Okay." I said. I was tired from the long day. I'm afraid I let that -- and my own ignorance of these comedians -- put the suck on my response.

Notes: Wow! Jazz is bi? Didn't see that coming! ("Course all us gay guys think EVERY guy is bi to SOME degree -- right? `Specially the cute ones!) Any comments are welcome. Send them to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Please type "Cole" on the subject line. Thanks and love, Steve

Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.

Next: Chapter 15


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