The Saga of Tuck

Published on Mar 6, 2002

Highschool

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Tuckled Pink -*- Copyright 2002 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible. Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.

All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights.

Tuckled Pink

*** 07:55 12 Aug

"Cookies!" they all shouted.

"You wish," I said. "Try again..."

*** 08:29 12 Aug

"Are you ever coming out of there?" Amy called through the bathroom door.

"Amy, I'm not enjoying myself," I called back. "I'll be out when I'm done." Lack of fresh greens and grains in my diet had predictable consequences after a while, and I was experiencing them. I hoped I still had some of that gel left...

*** 08:51 12 Aug

"Anything you want to do, Amy, if we can just take care of the kids doing it," I told her as I finished washing the dishes.

She thought for a while.

"These kids are a pain," she informed me.

"Yeah, and that's why I get money for working with them," I mentioned. "Still..."

Amy stared off into space and chewed on her lip.

*** 10:12 12 Aug

The park was nice, because we could get rid of the boys easily, or they could run off which amounted to the same thing, and then Amy and I could talk as I fed Stella.

"I dunno, he's alright, I guess," Amy said. "He's kind of, I dunno though. Reminds me of George, you know? Kind of a dork."

I would have objected, except that I knew that George was kind of a dork. "Yeah, but I mean, other than that?"

"Like there's anything else?" Amy joked, and we laughed.

"Maybe he changed over the summer, though," I pointed out.

"Yeah..." She pulled some grass up and inspected it. "I'll find out when I go back, I guess..."

"You don't have to ask him out at first, you know," I pointed out. "You could just watch him in class, see what he's like."

"What if I don't have any classes with him, though?"

"Mmmmm." That made things harder.

*** 11:04 12 Aug

"So what do you and Travis do?" Amy asked as we helped Stella 'walk' along. "You know, you two, alone..."

I stopped for a while, then cautiously reminded her, "I thought you didn't want to know anything about it?"

"I changed my mind," she said airily. "I'm allowed."

"You have a mind to change?" I automatically quipped and then grinned as she just as automatically boffed me. Then I remembered what she had asked and I felt the smile fade. "You really want to know?"

*** 11:11 12 Aug

"Don't give me that, you did it too, just last night you said-"

"Okay okay," I surrendered. "It just seems weird for you to be doing it, for some reason."

She shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I dunno, I just wanted to try it, you know?"

"Yeah, okay..." It was a little hard to imagine Amy going down on some guy, for some reason. And a little disturbing.

On the other hand, like she'd pointed out, it wasn't like I had room to throw stones.

*** 11:14 12 Aug

"I didn't think it was that fun, I mean for me," she said.

"I think that's a lie guys tell, and guys pay people to tell in Penthouse and stuff, so more girls'll do it," I guessed.

She chuckled, then asked, "So, I mean, why do it? Besides it makes them happy?"

"It's less messy than sex?" I suggested, and we both laughed.

*** 11:18 12 Aug

"So, I mean, it's okay, but it's a lot more fun, at least the first time, if I can get my own hands down, take care of myself..."

"Why just the first time?" she asked.

"'Cause, after that I'm kind of, you know, done for a while? So it's not that big a deal after I get off."

"Yeah, okay," she agreed while nodding. "Does, I mean, how do you keep him from going too deep?"

"Too- Oh. I, well, the second time I tried it, right, I was sort of concentrating on him and everything, a little too focused in the moment, right?" She nodded, waiting. "So, he gets too close to the edge without me noticing and he grabs my head and shoves it down..." Amy's face went 'Oooh!'. "And then just like when I get tubed, I flipped out of reality for a while, and when he pulled out, just like when I get done getting tubed-"

"Oh no, you didn't?!"

"All over HIM, all over the SHEETS, everything," I sighed, and then started to laugh, a little behind Amy. "It DOES ruin the mood, if you wondered..."

*** 13:19 12 Aug

"Yeah," she sighed, and then leaned back on her arms and looked up at the sky. "It's better like this, I think."

"Amy..."

She looked at me when I couldn't finish.

Eventually, she said, "It's still been fun, I think."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she nodded slowly. "I mean, I knew Suze was going to be doing that intern thing at the station, and then it wasn't too unlikely that you'd get a job too, even one as weird as this one."

"Babysitting's weird?"

She poked me lightly in a tit.

"Ow. Okay..."

"Yeah, but like other than that, it's been okay, you know? I mean, not the greatest, but better than staying back in Long Island, right?"

"I HOPE so."

"It was, it was," she assured me. Then she sighed, and looked off into space.

After a few minutes, I asked, "What're you thinking?"

She looked back at me. "Just... I mean, I thought Travis was like, straight? And..." She looked away for a while. "I just wish I'd found someone to date, or something, or he wasn't gay, or... I mean, I dunno," she sighed. "Just something."

"Amy... I'm sorry, I really am."

She looked at me, a surprisingly adult and tired look on her face. "I know... And it does help, me, I mean, you sharing or whatever you call it, it's just... Just not quite what I would have wanted."

"I guess ideally, he'd have been twins, and one of them would have wanted me and the other one-"

She laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess that would've worked..."

She sighed, then, and then got up and came over next to me and sat back down and put an arm around my waist. After a few seconds, I put my arm around her shoulders, and she snuggled up to me. "Life sucks, sometimes," she said. After a while, she added, "But it's better like this."

*** 15:02 12 Aug

The looks on the boys' faces was almost enough to make me laugh.

"Oh, please, guys, I haven't gotten to do ANYthing like this with Val all SUMMER!" Amy lied as she dropped to her knees with her hands clasped. "PLEASE!" she begged before she fell on the ground and started sobbing, good enough that I couldn't have told it was fake if I didn't know her like I did.

I eventually tore my gaze away from Amy and mentioned, "Uh, and we could go to the arcade again, remember?"

*** 15:44 12 Aug

Amy nodded at me as she held the velvet dress up to herself. It looked like an overly long tank top, and I wasn't entirely sure if I liked the pink, but it would do, and-

"And there's another one in blue, if you want," she mentioned, and turned back to the rack to show me, and almost ran into another girl.

*** 15:48 12 Aug

The blue looked nicer on me than the pink did, but Amy was sure she wanted the pink one, so I surrendered and let her get the pink one for herself even though it wasn't as good as the blue, and we fought our way back to the changing stalls to change back into our original clothes and get out of the dressing room before the boys exploded. Waiting while girls shopped for clothing was excruciatingly boring, I remembered, and worse during the before-school rush, which I hadn't remembered before we got here.

*** 15:58 12 Aug

"Hey Amy," I mentioned quietly. "Two o'clock level. Check out the guys watching us." She did, very subtly indeed, as I kept my head down and watched the boys. The ones I was getting paid to watch, I mean.

"They're looking, but I can't tell if they like me or not," she said after a while of mutual observation.

"They do, but I think they can't figure out how old we are, 'cause of the kids," I said. "So they don't know whether we're eligible or not."

She turned to me and gave me an amused look. "You're not helping things any, dressed like that," she mentioned. I'd worn a white blouse and denim skirt and my flat pumps today.

"EVER so suburban mother," I assured her, and we laughed at that, and when I looked towards the guys again, they were gone. "Oops, off the scope."

"You scared 'em off!"

"Me?!"

*** 16:04 12 Aug

"Play the shooting game!" the boys insisted as they dragged me along.

"Oh God," Amy commented.

"You too!" Ricky commanded, grabbing her hand like he had mine.

*** 16:07 12 Aug

"D-darnit," Amy sighed as she lost, and put her 'gun' back on the machine.

"Amy," I started as I turned to look at her-

"Tallyho!" she shrieked as she pointed back at the game, but I'd already seen it and was shooting it by the time she finished.

*** 16:11 12 Aug

I shot FastJack into the high score, and was happy to find that I was second in the dailies, which was an improvement over the last time I'd played.

"Ooooh!" mentioned David, still impressed apparently. "Can I play?"

*** 16:36 12 Aug

Mmm, feeding a baby at the mall while I could otherwise have been playing video games. What fun. Amy even waved happily at me from inside as she went past the door. "Bitch," I muttered.

Stella blew some food on me then, so I called her a bitch too.

*** 16:54 12 Aug

Oh, damnit, I realized when I looked at my watch. "Guys, time to go, like right this instant, unless you want to get caught in rush hour traffic and sit in the car for an hour?"

When they agreed without even a bit of whining, I almost fainted.

*** 17:44 12 Aug

"Did I mention," Amy grinned to me as she was doing her mascara, "that I got us a curfew extension, until one?"

"How did you manage that?" I asked as I stopped doing my own makeup.

"I told Uncle Bill that there was this fire juggler I'd met Friday, and if he - Uncle Bill - didn't let me and you stay out late tonight, I'd have to have him over to your house so he could show me what he does!"

*** 17:45 12 Aug

Faintly, through the door and our own laughter, we could hear a small voice calling, "What's so funny?"

*** 17:52 12 Aug

"You look really stupid," was Gary's opinion.

Amy and I were both opening our mouths to tell him something we probably shouldn't have, but Ricky kicked him in the back of the knee and Gary went down and then it went on from there until Miz Parker barked at them.

*** 17:54 12 Aug

"Hey!" Amy called as we came out of the house, freshly changed and made up for a date - and not stupid looking in the least, I might add, 'cause even Miz Parker said she liked the way we looked - and Travis waved in reply.

We walked up, and then exchanged hugs in a sort of three-way thing, which I thought was quite preferable to Amy screaming at me - I had to keep remembering this so I'd remember why I was letting her do this - and then Travis said, "Hey, I found a place we can go dancing, if you want to?"

I was about to agree when I glanced reflexively at Amy, and she had that 'Oh God I hate my period' look on. "Um, how about dinner and we go hang out somewhere instead?" I countered.

"I thought you liked dancing?" he asked me.

"No, it's okay, if we can eat something first?" Amy asked him.

"You sure?" I asked Amy.

"If you want to?" she asked me back. I nodded, and she nodded, and then we both nodded to Travis.

"Can we take my car?" Travis suggested.

*** 18:15 12 Aug

"Marciano's?!" I was annoyed, offhandedly, to realize I was squeaking. "We can't go here, we're not dressed for it!"

"Sure you are!" Travis assured me.

Amy turned in the shotgun seat and asked me worriedly, "How formal is it?"

"A lot more formal than-"

"No it isn't," Travis told both of us. "Come on, it's fine, okay? It's less formal Tuesday nights anyway."

I sighed, slumped back in my seat, and crossed my fingers.

*** 18:23 12 Aug

We were apparently dressed well enough, but we still had to wait for our six-thirty reservation to mature to get a table, and so we were standing around chatting - they had not invited us to go to the bar for pre-dinner cocktails, for some reason - when my pager started going off in my purse.

"Oh, God," I complained as I started scrambling for the thing.

*** 18:25 12 Aug

"Hey Tuck!"

It was George. Oh God.

"Oh, hey," I said, trying to sound innocent. "'Sup, man?"

"Back from the farm, man, and I want some civiliZAY-shun!" He wanted a party, he meant.

"Oh, uh... whatcha doing tomorrow night?" I asked. Amy was giving me a curious look. "It's George," I told her.

'Uh oh,' went her face.

"Whatcha doin' tonight!" he countered.

"I'm on a date, George," I said, then I had to beat my head against the wall for a while because I'd just been immensely stupid.

Pause.

"With AMY?" he asked in dread.

I almost said 'No' before I realized that I should say, "Yeah! She's cool, she's fun, sh-"

"She's your FIRST COUSIN!" George complained, sounding more than usually shocked.

"It's not like we're gonna have sex or anything!" I shot back, then glanced up as I remembered where I was. Amy had her hands over her mouth. Too late, I thought.

George asked, "You're dating your cousin? I mean, seriously?"

"We're not DATING dating, George! She just wanted to go out someplace nice, and so I said I'd go with her!" 'Me?' Amy asked, pointing at herself, and I nodded at her. Her face went to 'Oh God'.

"Oh my God oh my-" George started hacking into the phone, which I found painful. I held the phone away from my ear until he stopped, apparently self-arresting.

"George, old bean," I started, "we'll go out tomorrow, okay? I gotta go, our table's ready," I lied.

"You took your COUSIN to a place that needs RESERVATIONS?" he gasped.

"George, shut up, we'll talk to you tomorrow night, okay? Bye!" I hung up in some sort of mood that had relief mixed in.

"He didn't?" Amy asked.

"Oh God," I sighed. "Don't ask."

"He did! YOU did!" Amy accused.

"What was I supposed to tell him?" I shot back. "'Oh 'scuse me I'm sharing my boyfriend with her, we're on a date and a half'? Or did you want to invite him, make it a doub-" She boffed me in the head. "See?" I mentioned. "VERY bad idea. Just-"

#DING!# went the clue bell in my head. "Wait," I said calmly as I held up my hands, which confused her, and then I couldn't repress the grin any more. Amy's face shifted to 'What are you thinking you devious slime?'. I whispered the idea in her ear, and her peals of laughter caught the attention of everyone in the place.

*** 18:33 12 Aug

"You are insane," Travis stated.

"Iced tea, please," I told the waiter. "What's so insane about it COMPARED to my normal life?"

Neither of them had an answer for that, so I looked some more at the menu, humming happily. "Besides," I added, "he's been up on a farm out in BFE all summer long, and he's starting school Friday, so we HAVE to make sure his head's still screwed on tight. If he can handle this without a trip to the rubber room, then he's ready for school."

"And if he's not, and he goes to the rubber room?" Travis asked.

Amy and I just giggled, which worried him.

[Ed.- BFE = Butt-Fuck Egypt, a very far away place]

*** 18:39 12 Aug

"Eggplant?" suggested Travis with a grin as I was about to order.

"That sounds good," Amy decided, completely independently, and shut her menu. "What?" she asked me.

"Nothing," I said, "I'll split some manicotti if you share the eggplant with me?"

"YOU? EGGPLANT?" she emphasized. Then she turned to Travis. "What did you do to her?!"

"He beat me!" I whimpered. "He savaged me, with-" Amy boffed me in the head. "Ow," I complained.

The waiter asked, "Manicotti, eggplant, and the veal? Would you like the entrees split up between your plates?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Travis decided.

*** 19:44 12 Aug

After I finished washing my hands and turned off the water, I asked, "Amy, did you see that guy about three tables down, kept looking at you? Or us?"

"Ummmmm," She applied some more lipstick while thinking about it. "Yeah, kind of, but I didn't think he was looking at us."

"I think he was, because I recognize him from..." I trailed off.

"Where?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "But from somewhere."

"Looks a little old for you," she mentioned.

"I know that too, and I can't figure out what the hell..." I sighed, and gave up. "Never mind, if I figure it out I'll tell you."

"Ready to go dancing?"

"Almost," I smiled. Neither of us had eaten our entire dinner so we'd have some ability to move around without having to worry about losing the entire meal from stomach-slosh. Travis had 'gallantly' absorbed the remainder. It was funny to watch him eat like Mike except with slightly better manners.

"I still have to go tinkle, though."

"So go already?" I suggested, pushing her towards a stall.

*** 19:49 12 Aug

"So, dancing?" Travis asked, and Amy nodded and smiled, which made me smile too. I nodded belatedly.

Then my pager went off.

"Not AGAIN?" Amy complained as I pulled it out.

"No, it's Mike," I said after I looked at it.

"What's he want?"

*** 19:50 12 Aug

"George said you were dating Amy?" Mike asked.

"No, I mean, I told him I was on a DATE with Amy, but we weren't DATING-dating. I KNOW I said that," I insisted. "Why?"

"Oh, I was going out with Kim tonight, after she got off work, and Jill wanted to come, and then George called in a panic- speaking of panic, did you get the photos developed?"

I snorted. "Uh, yeah... they're GOOD, man. Unsecure line," I added, to tell him why I wasn't going to tell him more.

"So what ARE you doing?" Mike asked.

"Uh, is George there?"

Mike stated, "You're taking Travis and Amy both out."

I finally asked, "How do you do that?" but he just laughed.

*** 20:16 12 Aug

"If this place is open, they're concealing it really well," I finally remarked. We hadn't been able to find an open door anywhere.

"I SWEAR they said they were open Tuesday nights!" Travis said, and I checked my watch to make sure it was indeed Tuesday, which it was.

"By eight o'clock?" Amy asked him.

"Yes!"

"You sure we're at the right club?" I checked, and he just glared at me. "Ooookay, I don't think they're open now. What do we do?"

*** 20:40 12 Aug

Our suggestion - Amy suggested the place, I'd called and found out they were open - was open, but seemed pretty quiet. Maybe that was the Tuesday thing. Still, there were cars in the parking lot and the lights and stuff were on.

"What kind of place is this?" Travis asked.

"You'll like it, they got GREAT dancing music!" Amy assured him with a straight face. I pinched my leg really hard where he couldn't see it.

*** 20:43 12 Aug

I got the impression that Amy or I had had a bad idea because there were a lot of appraising looks directed towards Travis, and about zero directed at me or Amy. And someone commented as we went past, "More fag hags, just what this place needs."

"What's a fag hag?" I yelled discreetly into Amy's ear when we were well past.

*** 20:50 12 Aug

'Paul' had come over and started chatting us all up, which was fine enough, as I refreshed my liquids with some Sprite - an ungodly two dollars at the bar - before dancing, but he finally gave himself away when he asked Travis to dance. I knew he was asking Travis and not either of us because Paul's head was tilted up and looking straight at Travis when he did.

"Uh, what?" Travis asked, looking confused.

"Dance! You know!" Paul entreated as he made lewd motions.

"Get lost he's ours," Amy snarled at Paul.

"Me?" Travis asked as he looked at me for some reason. "Is-"

"Oh come ON," Paul said skeptically to Amy. "You brought your... 'boyfriend', HERE?"

"They were open!" I told Travis, feeling a bit guilty.

"Did he-" Travis asked back, looking epileptically confused.

I grabbed Travis' arm, then climbed up the rest of him, and told Travis, "Kiss me!" before I kissed him on the mouth.

*** 20:52 12 Aug

"Nnnn!" I pushed off him and dropped back to the floor, managing to land without twisting an ankle. If I hadn't gotten loose, Amy would have killed me before it progressed to the really fun parts, and I wouldn't have been able to stop myself before then.

"You know how disgusting that is?" Amy asked. "It's SO disgusting that Paul left." And then she laughed, and grabbed Travis' arm, and we both pulled him to the dance floor. As we stalked out onto the rather uncrowded floor, I wondered, Where's my drink? I had it a minute ago...

*** 21:55 12 Aug

"I can't believe he asked me out," Travis said as we all rehydrated. I had a feeling this was going to be an expensive night; I'd seen Travis flinch when talking to the bartender. And the cover had been extortion; King's might be cheaper, and this place didn't have rollercoasters. Though Travis didn't like rollercoasters...

"Why not?" Amy shot back. "You are a complete HUNK! I'D ask you out if you weren't dating Val here!"

"You would?" he asked her, sounding not disbelieving enough.

"Hey!" I complained, "I saw him first!" and grabbed Travis' arm.

"Hey!" said some other guy as he came up.

*** 22:28 12 Aug

They wouldn't sell me spray paint at Walmart, or even let me use it in the store - like, in front of the manager so he could tell I wasn't sniffing it or whatever it was stupid people did with gaseous hydrocarbons - but they would sell me regular paint and a brush, and so I was doing it on some newspaper in the parking lot next to Travis's truck after we went back to the dance place.

Finally, I got it done, and told Travis and Amy they could come see, so they got off the tail and came around to the side.

They took one look and started laughing.

I'd managed to paint, in fairly neatly done red letters on a fresh 2X Hanes T-shirt, I'M NOT GAY - MY GIRLFRIENDS ARE FAG HAGS.

*** 22:30 12 Aug

"Because it was open!" I repeated.

"Okay, but WHY a gay bar?" Travis asked, AGAIN.

"Don't be a bigot!" Amy said.

"I've seen a whole lot of other people, I mean like straight couples in here too!" I insisted. "I SWEAR!"

Then someone honked, really close by, scaring the crap out of all three of us until I realized it was Kim's car with Kim and Mike in it.

"HOW THE FUCK?!" I accidentally screamed.

"We found the other place, and it was closed, but the phone message said it was open," Mike said, "and then Jill suggested we come here and then there you were." Jill waved as she got out of the back seat. "What'cha doing?" Kim was also waving at me, but with an envelope.

*** 22:38 12 Aug

They let us in, me and Amy and Travis, without paying again because we had gotten stamped before we left, but Jill almost had a fit when she found out cover was fifteen dollars.

"I got it!" I yelled and dug a twenty out. "I owe you anyway."

"Val!" she complained to me. "Damnit, you-"

"Cork it, bitch!" I said. Then I had to leave my change for Mike to pick up as I ran away from Jill. I didn't know why she was complaining, though; I'd just gotten a week's pay, so I had it to spend. Well, I mean, aside from the 'Cork it bitch' part.

*** 22:42 12 Aug

I'd thought Travis with me and Amy had attracted some attention; that was nothing compared to what all six of us, two of them wearing fresh T shirts with very readable messages - Mike wanted one just to be safe - were now receiving.

The music was hot, though, and I had my crew with me, and my dinner had gone down enough that we could really get into some dancing.

*** 22:51 12 Aug

As Mike and I got back with more sodas, me drinking one as I went, I heard Amy say to some other club boy in a disgustingly good mimicry, "Yeah, I'm actually a guy though."

I immediately inhaled and then I think my throat slammed shut for a few seconds in spasm, because I wasn't choking loud enough to miss the guy going, "For real?" and Amy go, "Yeah, do I look good?" and he said, "Yeah except for the makeup," at which point I dropped all three plastic cups and exploded.

*** 22:56 12 Aug

"I have never been so insulted in my entire life," Amy smirked, which set all of us off again. Even Travis was on his knees holding his ribs as he howled.

*** 23:02 12 Aug

"Ahuh ahuh ahuh, yeah, man," Jill said as she pushed her voice as low as it could go. "Let's go find us some chicks, man!"

"Yeah, man, hey, nice boobies ya got," Amy said back in a higher but better version of a male voice, "where'd ya get 'em?"

"Ahuh, Home Depot," Jill grinned as her voice sprung back into its normal range momentarily. "Next to the power saws."

I snorted, then demanded, "Can we go dance or are you assholes just gonna sit around and make stupid jokes all night?"

"Man, chill, bitch!" Amy said to me. "Whassup wi' dat?" she said to Jill.

"Think she's on the rag, man?" Jill grumbled, and they both broke up in feminine laughter.

*** 23:41 12 Aug

I loved dancing, and I think I loved dancing with guys more, because both Travis AND Mike were getting more into the beat than anyone except Jill was. Times like this, I felt I could dance forever.

*** 00:12 13 Aug

I had to survive the next two years so I could move out and not have a curfew so I could see if I could dance until dawn. Just once.

But not tonight.

I hugged Travis, and moments later was really surprised to feel him lurch under someone else's weight, but I didn't have to look to know it was Amy, because she was crying again.

*** 00:39 13 Aug

Amy even hugged Rachel like she meant it before we left.

I almost asked Amy what was going on, after we left, but I'm glad I didn't, because she probably would have walloped me for being an insensitive clod. She was upset over a lot of things, but I bet the biggest was that it was going to be Over, and Real Soon. I mean, I didn't want it to be over either, but at least I'd still be here, with Mike and Travis and everyone. I knew - or suspected, at least - that Amy had some friends in New York, but it was just different for her here, for some reason.

I knew I was going to miss her severely, too, which is why I wrapped an arm around her as we walked back to my car.

*** 01:09 13 Aug

"Sorry I'm being such a wimp," she sniffed as she clung to me in our - my - bed.

"Amy... you're not being a wimp," I finally said, and stroked through her hair for a while as I hugged her.

"I wish I could stay here, just for another month," she said eventually.

"Me too."

After a while, she moved up and kissed me on the cheek. "I really do love you, Tuck," she said softly.

"I love you too," I said back.

She stroked my face, and then unexpectedly kissed me on the lips before immediately settling back onto the pillows. Then she laughed a little. "At least I'll have Sparky when I get home again," she smiled in the darkness.

"Yeah, but I don't slobber."

She giggled, "Not much."

"Not much?"

*** 06:17 13 Aug

"Just, I gotta do the rest of the packing today, and then go out with you guys and George tonight- so don't stay late," Amy insisted as she poked me.

"I won't... besides, we have to 'explain' to George what was going on last night, right?" We both laughed for a while at the thought, which caused Susan to glare at us when she came out of the bathroom.

*** 07:49 13 Aug

Miz Parker sipped at her coffee, then said, "So I'll stay home Friday, just to make things easier, and then you can start on the school schedule thing on Monday, right?"

"Right... speaking of school schedules," I managed not to moan as I said it, "I need a copy of Ricky's so I can make sure about his holidays versus mine."

"Oh, Debbie got that already."

"She what?"

*** 07:51 13 Aug

I'd thought that my pay envelope was unusually thick...

Despite the fact that it would have been the smart, logical, and emotionally sanest thing to do and Debbie was often none of those things, she had startlingly shattered my expectations and included a printed letter with my new schedule on it and a copy of Ricky's holiday list. And a mention of a pay increase to nine bucks an hour.

"I got a raise?" I accidentally said out loud. I was in shock.

"Well, Valerie," Miz Parker said, "you've been really good with the boys so far, and I... I mean, agreeing to cook like you said you would," her voice had a faint undertone of 'and you said you would, you PROMISED!'. "And every day after school..." She shrugged. "It just seemed like you deserved one."

"Wow... thanks a lot!" I said honestly.

*** 07:52 13 Aug

And the other parts inside the envelope said that I had only about a hundred-fifty more to clear off my debt entirely, clothes and car and everything. And THAT was not counting this week I was in the middle of, even! Hot diggety dog! I thought.

"What are you fixing for breakfast?" Miz Parker asked me.

"Whatever you want!" I grinned.

"And the phone company said they'd come by tomorrow afternoon," she said as she snapped her fingers. "I almost forgot."

Life was good, I decided.

*** 09:49 13 Aug

"I don't WANT to go to school," Ricky sighed.

"Me neither," I agreed.

Stella must have been studying her vocabulary, because she started to scream about then, like she knew what the word was. No, I realized a moment later, she was hungry. "Oh, what a pain," I sighed as I got up with her to go get something to eat.

*** 10:11 13 Aug

"Did you bring your juggling stuff?" Gary asked.

*** 10:17 13 Aug

Gary and David were juggling, having won the lottery as it were, and so Ricky was the one not doing anything and therefore peering at me as I pulled out the remains of a Computer Shopper and started looking through it. "I'm looking at laptops, portable computers," I told him before he could ask. "I need one for school and now I have the money to get one..." I had to do a little happy dance there on the couch-

"For playing games?" Ricky asked, which ended the happy dance.

"No, Ricky, I have to do schoolwork on it," I sighed.

He made a face at that. "You need a computer to do your homework?"

"It makes some things easier," I said. "Like writing papers."

"I wish Dad would get me one," he sighed. "Are you going to have games on yours?"

"No," I lied. Actually, I might have a couple, but I wasn't counting on it. And I certainly wasn't going to mention any games to HIM.

*** 13:30 13 Aug

It took the realization that in two days I wouldn't be able to go swimming when I wanted any more, before I decided to put on my suit and go swimming myself.

*** 17:10 13 Aug

"'Kay, guys, time to dry off and change before everyone gets home," I said, eliciting groans. It was hard to believe I'd only be doing this one more day, before I went to half-time.

*** 17:49 13 Aug

"Okay, b-" Mike's car was out front and had people sitting on it.

"What?" asked Miz Parker from behind me.

I took a deep breath and let it out silently. "Nothing," I lied. "See you tomorrow!"

I looked back out, and Book was pounding on George's back. On the other side, Mike and a very nicely dressed Amy were waving me out. I took another breath, then went to go deal with George.

*** 17:51 13 Aug

"Susan's taking me out for dinner tonight," Amy explained. "Someplace nice, but I just wanted to see you again," she smiled mushily at me.

She wanted to help me twist George's head, is what she meant. I knew that smile was completely un-Amy.

"So..." I turned to the rest of the gang. "George, since you're back, we have an announcement to make..." Amy gripped my hand then, and everyone else looked horrified.

"It's a secret, so don't tell anyone, okay? We're trusting you," Amy said earnestly.

Mike's mouth opened.

Before he could say anything, I blurted, "We're going to elope Thanksgiving weekend, when she comes back."

And we smiled. Mushily. And Amy put her arm around my waist.

"Nuh!" Book gasped in shock and horror before George inhaled some spit and started coughing again. It took a while before anyone came to his aid, I think because I put my arm around Amy's waist and we kissed.

When we stopped, everyone was looking at Mike instead of us.

"We thought," Amy said to get their attention again, "that since I'm the smartest one in MY family and Tuck's the smartest one in HIS family, that we'd conserve the genes-"

Then Mike was screaming at us both in anime and chasing us around the cars for a while, so we couldn't say anything else.

*** 17:53 13 Aug

"Jeez, can't you guys take a joke?" Amy complained. She'd just barely escaped the need for a change of clothes, and she was still peeved.

"I can still beat you both with sticks," Mike said. "Which reminds me," he said, and then he went and dug in his trunk for a while until he came out with a cardboard box, which he held towards Amy. "Say you're sorry for doing that to us," he instructed.

"I am REALLY sorry, really REALLY sorry," Amy lied with a straight face, and Mike handed her the box.

Amy looked at him, then opened it up, and was delighted to find her own set of nunchaku, for which she jumped on him and kissed him, leaving a lipstick mark on his cheek. George gurgled for a few seconds, and I thought momentarily that this time I'd have to call 911 from the Parkers', but he recovered.

"So!" I said. "How was the farm?" He did look awfully tanned for George, as well as taller than I remembered.

*** 17:55 13 Aug

"I know!" I said in the valliest voice I could manage. "Let's go to, like, a mall or something? And then we could like honk at the pretty girls and, like, yell things and stuff?"

"Val, shut the fuck up," Mike suggested.

"Yo BABY!" Amy practiced. "NICE RACK!"

"Oh, God, no," Mike moaned as he put his head in his hands.

"You wouldn't-" George started, but stopped when Amy and I both turned a maniacal grin on him. "NO!" he almost screamed.

*** 18:13 13 Aug

I sighed. I'd suggested, just to yank some chains, that I'd look better and far more stylish if I went out as Valerie, but George had insisted. He'd almost cried, in fact. So I was going to appease him this time, and get dressed in the stuff I'd started the day with.

Not to mention the wholly practical matter of having to drop Amy back off at my house.

*** 18:18 13 Aug

"Heidy-ho," I said to the crew as I got within sight of them again.

"What took you so long?" George complained.

"You have NO idea," Amy scoffed at him, and George looked confused.

"I'd rather NOT know," Book announced, and opened a door of Mike's car. "Can we go now?"

"Tuck's place, departing," Mike said as he got in his car.

"You should take them dancing," Amy smiled.

*** 18:44 13 Aug

"Hey, you look nice," I told Susan when she came downstairs. She did, too; wherever they were going, it was not casual.

"Thanks!" she smiled, before she saw the rest of the guys and frowned.

"George got back," Amy smiled.

"I noticed," Susan said, watching him.

"And, I think we were just leaving," I announced. "Have a good time, sis..." I gave Susan a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You too," I said to Amy as I did the same thing.

"Don't stay out too late," Amy warned me as we let go. Then, she pulled me back for another hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Would you STOP?!" George complained loudly.

"Are they kissing again?" Brian whined from the living room. "Dad!"

There was a general exodus at that point, which ended up with me being dragged out of the house before it got worse. I ended up next to Mike's car and George, at which point George grabbed me and started shaking me. "I wasn't gone THREE MONTHS! What HAPPENED to you?!"

My, "I've gone all up-stats thanks to L. Ron Hub-" got me banged into a window.

"Hey, I need those windows!" Mike complained. "Use a fender!"

George tried to use a fender, and I couldn't squirm loose, which made me wonder, What WAS he doing on the farm, lifting cows? A means of escape suggested itself, but I resisted until he did bang my head into Mike's fender, which was nothing like an ecologically-supportable and economical recycled plastic one. In fact, it hurt.

That's why I pushed towards him and kissed him.

THAT got him to let go, alright.

"Now go wash it off before the infection takes hold," I instructed, and he left to do exactly that, at high speed. "What a MAROON!"

"Tuck," Mike sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

"Yes Mike?"

"Don't kiss George, Tuck."

"'Kay."

"Don't kiss me either!" Dan and Book instructed at the same time, loudly, as they backed away.

"Fine I won't!" Amy yelled from the porch as she and Susan came out, almost getting run over by George. Both of them made a kissy-face at him, and he screamed.

*** 18:47 13 Aug

An apple-cheeked and freshly-cleaned George kept glaring at me as we discussed where to go. "How about just some food we can hang out over?" Mike suggested. "Mojo's?"

"That'd be good," I agreed.

"No WEIRD shit," George said. I know he was pointing it at me, but it was everyone else that laughed and banged on him.

After all, we did nothing BUT 'weird shit'.

*** 19:04 13 Aug

"All summer?"

"All summer," I confirmed. Then I realized what I'd gotten out of it, and started to dance about even though I was stuffed in the back seat between George and Dan, because, "I'm getting a laptop laptop laptop... oh, laptop laptop laptop-"

"No singing!" Mike insisted.

I stopped. "Anyway, it was like ten hours nominal overtime per week, receipted expenses paid back, and even though Deb took out taxes and shit plus half my pay, I-"

"HALF?" George confirmed.

"That's how I got the car, remember?" And other stuff, none of which I was actually wearing at the moment. "And I still have enough to get a laptop laptop laptop-" Mike backhanded me in the head. "Ow."

"Where's those pictures?" Mike demanded, so I went digging for them in my pack.

*** 19:10 13 Aug

"Were you wearing, like," George said, and dropped his voice to very quiet before he finished, "makeup?" as he waved a picture at me.

"Oh the HIKING trip? NO! What in Finagle's name-"

"You just look," he said, pointing at the photo of me grinning like a fool with a wok on my head. "I mean, really..."

After a while, I prompted, "Really what?"

"I dunno," George said, "but it ain't normal."

"Does THIS look more normal?" Dan asked with an evil grin, and handed George a few pictures, which were the Boy Scout ones judging by the howling and pointing George did when he looked at them.

*** 19:22 13 Aug

"Yeah, I mean, nominal five hours a day plus expenses again, and I have to pick Ricky up from school and cook, but I get to do my homework, they're installing a new phone line just for me tomorrow, AND I don't have to do dishes, AND I just got a raise too," I grinned, and had a sip of coke.

"You're not gonna have time for anything!" George complained.

"It's gonna be harder," I admitted after I swallowed, "but, I mean, hell, at least when I DO get off I'll have my homework done, AND I won't have to do chores at home." There was a new bid sheet for chores on our refrigerator, and I was going to have to look at it soon, but not right now, since I wasn't near home at the moment.

"Sure, 'homework'," Dan drawled. "Suuuuuure."

"At least I'll have a better shot at it. Plus," I pointed out, "like George said, if I do want to do anything it's going to be later, and if I want to sleep at all, I have to get it done early anyway."

"That's not what I said," George mentioned, which I waved away.

"At least I'M out of a job," Mike sighed.

"Downsized," I grinned.

"What? YOU?" George said in amazement to Mike.

*** 19:46 13 Aug

We were all chowing down on pizza, even me, though I'd had a salad first, when a slight scrap of voice made me drop my slice and start scanning the room.

I wasn't hallucinating; I HAD heard Debbie. "What?" Mike asked. And Debbie was with-

"Nnnnt!" Mike insisted, as I realized that for one thing, I was trying to stand up in the booth, and for another thing, Mike was holding my hair so that I couldn't. "Not your problem, Tuck."

"But-"

"Shut UP," he said into my ear as he pulled harder and I sat down.

"Tom Lenich?!"

"Not your problem?"

I sighed, and almost put my head down in irritation and despair, which would have been greatly amusing for everyone that saw me slam my face into a slice of pizza.

"You actually broke up?" George confirmed. "YOU, and HER?"

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," I suggested.

"It wasn't nice," Mike explained as George looked shocked. "I TOLD you that, man!"

"Yeah, but..." George pointed at me. "I mean, I mean..."

"Would you like to shut the fuck up now, or would you like me to help you by cramming something down your throat?" I asked, always ready to assist a comrade.

"Okay okay! I just, I mean..." George shook his head.

"Look, just be glad you weren't here," Dan said.

I sighed. It wasn't even that, it was... Tom LENICH?!

Mike said, "Stop thinking about it, Tuck, or I'll tie your underwear around your head with you still in it."

"Speaking of underwear," Book said as he put an index finger up and leaned closer to the table, "I had this idea..."

*** 19:48 13 Aug

"That is too weird," George commented.

I replied, "Yeah, but..."

"It does have a certain ca-shay about it," Mike said.

"A what?" Dan asked before I could.

"It's French, you illiterate punk," Mike answered. "It's one of those fuzzy words, means a certain appealing something."

"Like 'chic'?" I asked.

"Uh..." Mike started, then had some thought and a bite of brain-enhancing pizza. "Yeah, but not so stylish, I think."

"Don'ttalkwithyourmouthfull," popped out of me reflexively.

I wished I hadn't said it, but I REALLY wished I hadn't said it when everyone started talking with food in their mouths. Although watching George recite some poem he'd memorized for an English class, oratory gestures and all, while spewing bits out of his mouth, was kind of amusing. Not as much as he'd have liked, though. I had to quickly dig my sunglasses out of my pack to protect my eyes from his food.

*** 19:51 13 Aug

"Look, I mean, it has some, uh," Mike was right, this idea of Book's did not reek of class, but there WAS a certain something about it. "Ca-shay," I finally copied, which got me a light elbow from Mike, "but, I mean, you guys have no idea what we're talking about in the way of cost here."

"Oh and you do?" George said snidely.

"Why yes, I do!" I replied perkily, and giggled offensively at him. "You idiot, since my knowledge was part of the idea, wasn't it?" I pointed out in case he needed two clues to catch this one.

"How much?" Mike asked.

I thought about it, and finally came up with a guess, which made everyone else wince. I added, "That's a guess, half accurate each way. We could do it if we ALL wanted to pay, but..."

"I gotta think about this," Mike said.

*** 19:53 13 Aug

"Nah, leave Dobson alone," I said.

"Why?" George asked. "He was an asshole as homeroom-"

"Yeah, but is he gonna be the asshole Nickerson was as principal?" Mike pointed out. "Let's let HIM put some rope around his neck before we start playing with the trap door. Or something like that," he frowned, apparently not pleased with the metaphor or simile or whatever it was.

"Yeah, besides, I think he'll be reasonable," I said.

"WHY?" George complained.

Whups. "I'm screwing his wife," I lied, "and-" I got abused, but it was light abuse.

"Shut up, Tuck," Dan said offhandedly. "Look, man, we gotta do something-"

"Or not," Mike grinned. "And we just let everyone who thinks about it stew. Which is worse than anything we could do."

I thought of something, though, and added, "But if it looks like the pressure's getting to one of them, like symptoms of psychosis and paranoia, we HAVE to do something to relieve the pressure before they crack. So they can go, 'Okay that's the prank and it's over now.'"

"You think it might happen?" Book asked.

I laughed insanely until Mike put a hand over my mouth.

"Tuck's been exploring insanity over the summer," Mike explained to the rest of the table.

*** 20:18 13 Aug

We had agreed to adjourn to my house to play at Orkish things for a while and for me to get ready for the phone company tomorrow, and I was in Mike's car before I realized I hadn't even seen Debbie once Mike leashed me down and Book came up with that idea.

And good riddance, too.


Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies. - Oscar Wilde

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Next: Chapter 77


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