To Thine Own Self Be True

By firehose Joe

Published on Aug 26, 2023

Gay

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Thanks to Chael for assistance in editing and proofing the story. This is wholly fictional with no reference intended to persons alive or dead.

Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com

From the previous chapter:

Getting ready to leave the office, Alejandro straitened his desk. He sat for a moment recalling the memories that would soon fade into obscurity. He remembered the braying of the calf that had been wrestled and tied. He recalled the smell the moist salt air. His memories ran free, recalling so many good things. He was grateful.

Chapter 48

Alejandro realized as he penciled in dates for committee and board meetings that he needed to schedule time for the building project partners. Though he was adamant with himself that he'd be only one voice among many, he wanted to make sure his voice was heard. More importantly he wanted to listen.

The call to Paul Dupuy was all that Matt had warned it would be. The man was on a mission. After Paul had outlined the major points of the apprenticeship project, Alejandro suggested a late afternoon meeting at his condo with dinner to follow. Matt's inclusion was welcomed and a date was set.

When Paul arrived at the condo Alejandro offered him the dime tour. Paul was keenly interested in the building, its sleek skin and the warmth that Alejandro's place exuded. His questions were professional and detailed. Alejandro was glad he'd been part of the design process so he at least understood the technical nature of Paul's questions. He feared his attempts to answer were inadequate but he tried.

Matt soon joined them. When Paul saw Matt come in the smile on his face was spontaneous and warm. Alejandro said nothing but noted that Matt had seen his observation. With a wry smile, Matt shrugged and walked over and joined the men.

They quickly discovered the office wasn't adequate for their needs. Soon plans were spread across the large dining table. Paul presented his thoughts in a logical straightforward manner that allowed Alejandro to process them easily.

Paul had adapted much of the California training program into his proposal. He'd contacted friends where he'd gone to grad school, and he'd enlisted support from tradespeople he'd worked with on housing builds he'd participated in. They had taken the raw notes and photographs Paul sent them and had roughed out a curriculum that would logically lead to journeyman cards.

The concept of being able to offer, through one organization, adequate affordable housing, nutrition and job preparation was unique as far as Paul could discover. This was something they just had to do.

Alejandro hid his amusement at Paul's tone and posture. Paul was on his feet and lecturing, determined to win the day. Matt cut a look at Alejandro and smiled with a wink of `I warned you'.

Matt interrupted Paul's flow occasionally to point out how and where bits of the training program could be implemented. Alejandro soon saw where this was heading when Paul began to talk about consolidating the core skills training in one location.

One couldn't deny the logic; they'd all seen a similar prototype in California. The difference was that here it would have to be a dedicated space that was more permanent than the setup in San Francisco. Alejandro would need to buy one of the buildings and have it serve as a school setting. Revenue would likely come at some time but not in the foreseeable future.

Paul wasn't sure of Alejandro's level of commitment though probably had some inkling from Matt. He knew, or at least felt pretty sure, he was overstepping the job for which he'd been hired. But Alejandro could tell that, at the moment, he didn't care. He was on a roll about all the benefits this would provide at-risk youth.

Alejandro and Matt let Paul run out of steam. Finally when he realized he was beginning to repeat himself, he stopped.

Looking at Matt, he said, "Did I go too far?"

Alejandro watched Matt shake his head then Alejandro spoke.

"Paul I compliment you on the thoroughness of this presentation. It was carefully and logically laid out and as a lay person I was able to follow everything you proposed. However..."

Alejandro realized the pause was a cheap shot. Paul looked stricken for a moment.

"...however, I'm not sure you've explored all the potential here or the needs to expand the program in the future. I'm totally onboard with what you're proposing. If we are to be successful - yes `we' - we need to look at the potential of every building in light of this. Or," and Alejandro paused, "we need to buy a building for this express purpose and dedicate it for training. Make it state-of-the-art, a point of pride for both students and teachers. What do you think?"

Paul's eyes were as wide as a child's on Christmas morning. "You mean it? Really?!"

Alejandro saw Matt give Paul a look of `I told you so' and a smile laden with affection.

`Hummm' Alejandro thought as he watched the momentary interchange.

Paul nearly exploded with questions, grabbing a pen and pad.

"Whoa, we'll get to all of that. Right now I'm ready for a glass of wine and some dinner. How about you guys?" Alejandro said, giving time for some of the enthusiasm to settle.

Over dinner and dessert, they made a broad outline of the various components being proposed. They made a list of potential problems and solutions. A proposal for the participating agencies needed to be made in the very near future. Paul agreed to put together a cleaner outline of his presentation in written form and make a proposal to the partners at their next meeting. Matt offered to give them a heads-up, one-on-one, so all would be prepared and hopefully receptive.

When Paul and Matt were getting ready to leave, Paul walked over to Alejandro and offered his hand to thank him again for his support and dinner. Alejandro pulled him into a quick hug as he thanked Paul for all the contributions he was making in such a short time.

Matt looked amused by all of it. As the elevator door closed Matt was looking at Alejandro and smiling.

The Dynamic-Duo. That's how Alejandro thought of them. They proceeded to wow every partner with the apprenticeship concept.

Alejandro thought, with some humor, that Mutt and Jeff was a little more descriptive. Paul's 6'1", trim, swimmer's build was topped with blond hair. He was the antithesis of Matt's thick, heavily muscled, dark build. Plus, Paul's eyes were light blue and had an electric quality to them. Alejandro knew it didn't make sense but that's what he thought of when he saw Paul. Perhaps it was the energy, who knew.

Spring finally arrived with consistently warmer days. Alejandro began to make the rounds, as he thought of them, the visits to colleges, museums and other institutions that the Algara Group supported. He knew his presence was not required but remembered his Grandparents' belief that if you didn't watch spending you never knew where the money went. It applied to family finance as well as philanthropic gifts.

The dinner party Charles planned was a huge success. It went on well past midnight. The guests, to a person, were entertaining, filled with stories about Broadway names, old money and general gossip of The City, as they seemed to refer to New York. Alejandro made a point of spending time with two of the men in particular that he wanted to get to know better.

He and Charles had a very satisfying reunion in Charles' bed. Alejandro was welcomed at the board meeting with accolades for his introducing Charles to the Metropolitan family. The man had made a veritable hit with staff and patrons alike.

Spring bled into summer with the brief interruption for a visit to the Yucatan. Alejandro quickly found that late May in southern Mexico was nearly as unbearable as Chicago in a deep freeze with wind off the lake. Fortunately the Casa had misters that helped with the oppressive heat of the intense sun. The rooms were oases of cool air so that when they retreated to enjoy time in bed, comfort was assured.

John Abernathy's hoped for summer visit was delayed by child-centered events and the wife's insistence that John be in attendance. He promised to visit before Christmas.

Alejandro stayed busy all summer with friends, business, and occasional weekend jaunts. One of his most pleasurable pastimes while in town was visiting Matt and enjoying the smell of the dirt and the work of farming. Alejandro, a city boy, thoroughly enjoyed his fieldtrips, as he and Matt laughingly referred to them. He'd spend a day with Matt, and frequently Paul, doing whatever gardening or yard work needed doing.

During these visits he confirmed his Mutt and Jeff appraisal. With shirts off and sweat running freely, the two men were a study in contrasts. Paul's lean, muscled frame was not skinny by any means. A swimmer's build best described it. Long-limbed, Paul's muscles were stretched and taut. He had a sprinkling of blond chest hair near the center of his pecs.

Occasionally when he straightened up from weeding a particularly stubborn patch, his shorts rode low and Alejandro could see the honey blond treasure trail begin to widen just at the waistband of his shorts. The boy was working commando and who could blame him in the heat.

Matt seemed oblivious to the heat. The sweat poured off him. His chest hair was matted against his muscled torso. When he bent and pulled weeds or lifted a heavy pot to a bench, his musculature popped with definition. He seemed oblivious to it all. He was just working as usual.

Both Matt and Paul welcomed Alejandro as one of the boys on workdays. He wasn't anyone special. Dirt was under his nails and on his brow when they took a break for some shade and water. The conversation was current and local -- the heat, the crop, the weeds and plans for the greenhouses in winter. They took turns showering in the barn using storm run-off water that was then piped to a French drain. A fraternity of brothers was how Alejandro thought of it.

He noticed a bond between Paul and Matt when he first came for a workday but said nothing. After spending the second Saturday with them, there was a rhythm, a knowing what the other wanted or would do that spoke of much time shared. Still it wasn't his business and he didn't ask.

Toward the end of summer when they all were busy with harvesting and canning, he heard Matt call Paul by an affectionate term. After a pause, Matt turned to Alejandro and smiled. Nothing more needed to be said. Alejandro was happy for the men. They seemed well suited.

Summer waned and the fall circuit of meetings began. The academic year fired up, and the fundraising events moved into high gear. Alejandro formed an ad hoc committee with his lawyer and secretary to review requests for funding as well as help him with his scheduled involvement.

The three of them quickly saw that a more formal structure was needed to deal equitably with the growing multitude of requests for assistance. His philanthropic world had extended beyond the cultural confines of Chicago and a few other well known institutions in other parts of the country.

Alejandro's day-to-day activities with the company were delegated for the most part to managing directors. His work was primarily with the Algara Group's philanthropy. His secretary had long been with the company and, as the saying goes, knew where all the skeletons were buried as did the lawyer who worked most closely with Alejandro.

He directed them to pull together a list of likely candidates from within the company as well as people in the community who had an affinity to the work of the Algara Group. He tasked the lawyer to come up with a working document that would guide the activities without restricting requests. It was a tricky balancing act but Alejandro wanted to continue to be involved directly with many of the major contributions.

Two weekends prior to Thanksgiving, after the majority of board meetings had ended, Alejandro made a trip to the Yucatan. It was becoming a retreat for him -- culturally and physically distant from the demands of his daily life. Cesar suggested he come to the big house, as Cesar referred to it, on the hacienda.

Alejandro readily accepted and flew down for a weekend visit. They spent their time riding, eating, and driving to spectacular sites on the estate. In the evenings they relaxed in front of a fire on an outdoor covered lanai before they went to bed.

During their conversation after a day of exploring the estate, Alejandro reiterated his daydream of having a place on this beautiful coast as a retreat for himself. It was never Alejandro's intention to ask a favor but Cesar brought up the oft-repeated wish to force the discussion.

It seemed to Alejandro to be a question out of the blue when Cesar asked, "If you owned a home on the coast would you ever use it or is the thought of it a pleasant mental diversion for you?"

"What do you mean? Are you suggesting that I build a place near one of the coastal villages? I'm confused," Alejandro said genuinely puzzled.

"Each time you come to the Yucatan, I've seen you relax within hours of your arrival. It's in your face, your posture, you..." he stopped for want of description. "Does what I say resonate with you?"

"Yes. Yes, of course it does. I've likely said it each time I've visited, I know. It's something about the air, the pace of the people, the place. It touches something inside of me I can't describe." Alejandro looked at Cesar as if he could help find the answer.

"Let me give you an idea just to consider. Think on it and we can talk about it more tomorrow. I'd rather you take a night to sleep on it. So now if you will hear me out..." Cesar looked at Alejandro wondering at the wisdom of what he was going to suggest.

"There are many miles of shoreline that are served by the road we were on today," Cesar said.

"Is the area completely undeveloped? I remember seeing very little development along the coast," Alejandro said.

"The small towns and villages are where the people live. We passed through several, I'm sure you recall. The areas that you admired are of little use for farming or grazing livestock.

"It would take only a small piece of land, a few hectares at most, for you to build a small casa of your own. It could be situated on one of the numerous bluffs you admired that look out on the sea. I would be glad to provide the land for a small sum if you would agree to give me or my heirs right of first refusal when you are ready to sell or dispose of it.

"You are, of course, welcome here always. But I know that having a space of one's own allows a different sense of peace." Cesar laughed briefly as he added, "There is precious little peace here with all the comings and goings. You might find me a frequent visitor, if only to escape the business of running this house.

"Now, please, indulge me with the thought you will consider this and we can talk more if you like in the morning." Cesar sat back, lifted the bowl of his brandy snifter from the ornate wooden side table topped with richly colored glazed tiles. He inhaled deeply the complex aroma as his eyes gazed into the fire that burned low in the large chiminea.

Alejandro honored Cesar's request and didn't bring up Cesar's suggestion that evening. They discussed numerous topics that were familiar and shortly thereafter went to bed.

After a vigorous and mutually satisfying coupling, Alejandro lay in bed letting his mind randomly consider the various challenges and opportunities owning a home here might mean. As he fell asleep he was recalling the hypnotic sound of waves washing up on shore at the Casa.

Over a breakfast of huevos rancheros, chorizo, pan dulce and steaming café con leche, Alejandro and Cesar began to discuss the various options and challenges Alejandro would face in building a small casa. The more they discussed it, the more animated Cesar became. Alejandro found the idea more than engaging but didn't want to take advantage of his new friend.

When Alejandro addressed his concern, Cesar shushed him saying it would be wonderful to have him as a neighbor even if for very brief periods. To give a bit more substance to their discussion they took the same coastal drive they had the day before to look at various sites.

When Alejandro was flying home, he let himself daydream a bit about the luxury to be able to steal a few days several times during the winter to stay at his own place. Shaking himself slightly, he reminded himself he abounded in building projects at the moment. Still, this would be fun to think about.

The cold of Chicago was at least ameliorated somewhat by the color and dazzle of the Magnificent Mile in midtown. Everyone was bundled against the cold. Stores were filled with people Christmas shopping. There was an energy and sense of good will. It was contagious. Of course the major Algara and friends Thanksgiving feast preparation was underway.

As the first nip of fall bit the air, Alejandro decided to have his first Thanksgiving dinner at the condo for friends who for whatever reason weren't leaving town or didn't have family to eat with.

In mid-October at a project meeting a schedule was roughed out for the remainder of the year. Paul volunteered that he'd be in town over the holiday if any slack needed to be picked up for anyone traveling. After the meeting Alejandro mentioned his plans to Paul and invited him.

"Matt's going to be here too. Can he come?" Paul blurted out without thinking. Alejandro smiled inwardly as the blush began to creep up Paul's neck. "Of course. Do you know any of the group here that will be in town without other obligations? They'd be welcome."

They chatted for a few moments after the meeting broke up and Alejandro suggested that Paul and Matt come home with him for dinner. Over their meal Alejandro reminisced about the home-cooked meals of childhood as he gestured to the takeaway boxes that had held their dinner.

"I'm just not a cook, at least not good enough for me to want to eat it!" They all enjoyed a laugh. "Somehow catered and Thanksgiving don't go together in my mind when thinking about dinners at my Grandparents. But who am I kidding. It will be delicious, easy and," he brushed his hands together, "that will be that."

"This is going to sound crazy, I know," said Paul, "but it isn't impossible. In fact millions of families do it every year." His statement of the obvious was made with a disarming smile. "It might be fun, Alex. Matt and I would be glad to help with all of it."

Matt looked up with a look of surprised shock.

Alejandro thought he'd diffuse the situation. "Paul that's generous but I can do the catering thing again."

Paul didn't seem to hear Alejandro's comment or see Matt's reaction. He plowed ahead.

"A lot of it can be done in advance. Matt's a great cook and I'm more than competent help in the kitchen. I'd be fun. I mean it doesn't have to be fancy. It's just for friends, right?"

Somehow before they left for the evening they'd done a rough plan for the guests, food, along with a time schedule. While it was odd for Alejandro not to have caterers handle the details, working with Paul and Matt seemed easy, fun and natural.

When they tallied up the RSVPs there were going to be nearly thirty guests. Alejandro enlisted one of the brothers from St. Loyola who was coming to help with wine selection. Alejandro's wine cellar had been complete for several months now but he'd not had time to share it. He was pleased at the reaction. While continuing their preliminary work several weeks before Thanksgiving Day, Paul and Matt had come over for dinner for a planning session. Matt was comfortable with the cooking and finalized a menu that all agreed on. Paul was the logistics man of the moment.

"Alex, when we've been here before we've grabbed plates, napkins and cutlery from the sideboard. There're some beautiful decorative pieces in the china cabinet. Do you have `dinner china' in there," Paul made the quotes in the air, "to serve the number coming?"

Alejandro looked a bit nonplussed for a moment. "There's plenty of china and silver. But it's not here. I just realized that since I've been in the condo every big event has been catered. They brought everything in."

"Okay," Paul said, gesturing with his hands hoping to prompt the logical next comment. It wasn't forthcoming. "Alex, where's the china and silver, not to mention glasses, serving pieces and all the stuff needed to put a dinner like this on the table?"

"It was all packed up when the town house was sold and I moved, just after Father died." He was concentrating trying to remember where all the boxes had gone. "It's the same pattern as the things in the china cabinet. Grandmother had lavish dinner parties and had all the guns and horses to do it right."

"Oh, I recall. It's stored at one of the company buildings. There was so much stuff that they needed a secure reinforced room for safekeeping. My secretary will know."

"You mind?" Paul asked approaching the china cabinet and reaching for the door. "Not at all. I saved out those pieces because they reminded me of Grandmother and the wonderful times we shared in the old house."

Paul took a platter down from the glass shelf, handling it carefully. "Very Deco design. Elegant, yet simple." Turning it over, he read the hallmark, "Mirabeau by Haviland. My Grandmother had a platter with this design; I thought I recognized it. You have service for a large dinner party?"

"Forty or more, I'm sure. The silver will be stored with it. We'd better go on a fieldtrip. Paul, what do you think?"

"It's either that or head to Crate and Barrel for some cheap stuff. Your call, Guy. But you aren't going to do that." Paul said with a tone in his voice Alejandro had come to recognize meant that decisions had been made.

"So what am I going to do, Paul?" Alejandro said and glanced over at Matt who was holding his head in his hands by now, slightly shaking his head.

"We," he said putting emphasis on the word, "are going to find the china and sterling, get it cleaned up, polished and ready for a Thanksgiving dinner that will be memorable. And what are you shaking your head at, Matt Grunwald?" Paul said grinning at his friend.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just the cook. Thank God," he said in a softer voice.

Alejandro said, "Guys, I don't mean to make this so hard. We can rent the stuff. They'll bring it in. We can even hire someone to come in and clean up and load the boxes for the rental company." Alejandro was beginning to think less of the idea by the minute.

Paul looked disturbed. "No Alex. ... Please?" The first said in distress. The second was almost plaintive. "We always went to Grandma's for Thanksgiving dinner. She insisted, loved the preparation, the smells in the house, dressing the table. Mom is not a cook. Grandma died while I was in college. Since then we've eaten the meal out. I've hated it.

"For me, this will be Thanksgiving with family, sort of. Matt, help me here, please."

Matt raised his one eyebrow and cocked his head in a gesture that usually meant, `You're sure?' Paul nodded.

"Alex, you know we've been together for some time now," Matt said as he got up and put his arm around Paul. "Paul finally told his parents that he was gay and in a relationship, a committed relationship." He grimaced and continued, "It didn't go well.

"It didn't get really ugly but they said they didn't want to meet me and that they needed time to think about what he'd said. That was over two months ago. No communication since." With a slight nod he finished, "Nuf said." He gave Paul another hug and took his seat. Alejandro thought, Classic Matt - supportive like a rock, but a man of few words in times like this'.

For Alejandro the picture quickly became clear and he shared in part the strong desire that Paul expressed.

"Paul it was the same with me as far as holidays went. My mother died in childbirth so Isabella, my Grandmother, raised me. Holidays were always special, all of them, just pick one. She made them special.

"Family times were intimate and fun. The social events were fun too because she really knew how to entertain. I remember her in the kitchen supervising and putting finishing touches on everything.

"Guests, lots of them, were welcomed at numerous events through the year. The house was a happy one, especially at holidays, full of good smells, delicious food, and friends. That's what we're going to have here. Guys I can't do this without you. You still in?" Alejandro asked with assurance that they were.

"Paul, tell me what we need to do and together we'll make it happen. And you `Mr. Just-the-Cook' begin to make your lists. Don't kill yourself here; get help. Whatever you want or need, you know the drill.

With a wry smile typical of himself, Matt did a sloppy salute as he winked at Paul.

The next day, Paul and Alejandro went on a search-and-discover mission after Alejandro's secretary located the inventory of the Algara house. After unlocking the room and a separated area, also secured, they found dozens of stacked wooden crates stamped `FRAGILE'. All were dusty and covered with cobwebs.

"I guess no one has been in here since it was moved in years ago. We can't do much without some tools and ways to move it out. Damn, there's a lot here!" Alejandro was quietly stunned at the number of boxes and the amount of work they represented.

Paul quickly wrapped his mind around the task. They determined that professional help was required. An antiques company was contracted to come in to inventory, appraise, remove and clean each piece. They would advise on future storage. Tiffany's was contracted to send in a silver specialist who would do the same kinds of things with the flat- and hollowware.

After seeing Paul in action, Alejandro realized how cathartic this was for him. Alejandro convinced Paul to be the majordomo and to hire any help that was needed or buy whatever else would help make this a memorable Thanksgiving for their friends.

Paul's left brain, the structured, technical side of him, excelled at organization. What surprised Alejandro, but not so much Matt, was the creative personality that came to the fore, making sure that everything was not only functional but tasteful. Flowers, table setting, food placement, the bar - it all came together as a beautiful whole.

Alejandro, Paul and Matt celebrated Thanksgiving with an eclectic hodge-podge of friends. Many stayed for seconds while they watched football -- turkey and cranberry sauce sandwiches followed by the remainders of the desserts Matt had created.

After everyone was gone, the guys collapsed and toasted the event with some of the remaining wine. They all had agreed earlier that a staff would come in to wash dishes and restore the condo. Matt and Paul headed to the guest room. Alejandro smiled as he stood in his bedroom door and watched them walk down the hall, arms around each other's waist. There was much to be thankful for.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The peculiar food and drink of writers is the comment from the reader. Please feel free to drop me a note at firehosejoe@yahoo.com

Next: Chapter 51


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