Hand of Fate

By Erron Wright

Published on Aug 1, 1999

Gay

Disclaimer: This is a complete work of fiction and does not imply anything about the celebrities in this fantasy. FANTASY!

Hello, I'm Erron, an avid reader and a new author. I believe that literature is magic. Please allow me to cast my spell for you.

And multitudinous thanks go out to those who responded to the first chapter even though nothing major really took place. I greatly appreciate it.

Hand of Fate Tides of Change

I was in for the ride of my life and I knew it. I finally had friends that cared about me. And I liked them. I didn't have to put up a front or try to avoid them. I could be myself and they'd appreciate me for that. As I thought about my new situation, the smell of strawberries again permeated my nostrils. I drifted off into deep thought. . . Happiness for once. Fate had dealt me a good hand, and I was gonna play my heart out.

"Well before I cry and really become useless, why don't I show you guys your rooms," I said with a weak smile. I got up and ushered everyone into the elevator. Being the self- assigned bellhop, Chris pressed the third floor button. When the doors opened we exited we stepped out into the main hallway of the floor. "This is how it works you guys, this floor is divided into five suites, including mine. Each suite contains three rooms and a master. Except for my room which has two masters. Every room has it's own bathroom so you don't have to worry about sharing. The way I figure it, each of you takes a suite and sleep in the master, and one of y'all can have the other master in my room. That way you each will have the same amount of space. No fuss, no muss," I said as I giggled to myself.

"We couldn't do that to ya Erron, one of us will double in a suite, there's more than enough room and you'll get your own space," Lance chimed in. Everyone nodded and began assigning rooms.

"Nonsense, I'm all about being fair. And it would be nice to see the other room finally go to use. It was gonna be my room, and John was gonna have the one I'm in now. I even decorated it the way I first planned I would. But I ended sleeping in the other one because I missed John so much and it reminded me of him. So please, I insist, one of you take it," I said with a smile.

"I'll take it. Justin you can have my suite," JC said as he stepped forward. I smiled at him and then invited everyone into my room to issue keys. They stepped inside and gawked at everything.

"Every suite has a different feel, but they are all similar in luxury and detail. I have a lot of guests. I really wouldn't call them guests because they are all publishers that I have to impress to get them to print my material. But it my attempts, I decided that lavishly extravagant suites might help. It works like a charm," I took a break to laugh. They joined in. "Let's see," I said as I reached for a box, "Here are the keys. I call each room by an assigned feeling because of the color choices used in decorating them. Joey you can have the Love room, it's decorated with a lot of reds and stuff. It's nice, but a little too feminine for me. Chris you can have the happiness room, lots of brights in there. A little too bright for my tastes. Lance you get the jealousy room, you guessed it, greens galore. It's actually very nice, I love it. And Justin you get the Sad room. I took it as a hint from your clothing that you like blue. You'll love this room." I handed them their keys with a smile. Such service. I should work fast food. Now there's a thought.

"I'm in the room of LOOOOOVE," Joey danced around while he sang repeatedly.

"Shut up Joey. You like to think you get love. What you get is a lay. That's all," Chris joked as he punched Joey on the arm, "I'm in the happiness room. What do you guys think? Is it me," he said with a smile. We all laughed. Chris was a character. He was like one of those puppets you see on early morning children's programming. Those braids completed the imagery. I wondered if it was all happiness to him. Or some "pseudo-happy" fa‡ade that he surrounds himself in to front others into believing that he truly is happy. The only truth is, to me, is that he is nearly thirty and the only women he gets to see aren't even women yet. I seem to have noticed a scarcity in the amount of feminine products at the show, save for the mothers, if you know what I mean.

"Who says I'm jealous," Lance joked, "I have no reason to be jealous." We laughed for a few seconds at his comment. Nothing to be jealous about? He's the third most popular member of `N Sync. He gets the least attention from the media during interviews. He rarely gets to sing by himself. He's constantly being upstaged by the other blonde in the group. Need I continue?

"Absolutely nothing," I reassured him as I mentally scorned myself for the jealousy list I had just created. He smiled. Those eyes. Those teeth. The perfect combination of a face. I wished I could take the color jelly out of his eyes and keep it for my own personal enjoyment. But alas, that jelly didn't belong to me.

"As long as this room doesn't depress me," Justin chimed in speaking of the Sad room. "I really don't need the anxiety. It's not that bad, is it Erron," he questioned as he looked into my eyes. They longed for an expedient response. I was melancholy with looming thoughts of how I thought about him which seemed to have found a way to seep into my mouth and tie up my tongue. After a few seconds of wrestling with the invisible emotional twine I spoke up.

"Naw Justin, it's a beautiful room. I would have called it the Mellow room but I felt bad for sadness. I have felt it so much that I thought it deserved a place in my home. It always puts me at ease. You'll love it," I said as I nudged his arm.

"As long as you say so," he said with a grin. I did my best of containing myself from vaulting myself onto him like he was an apparatus and I was the gymnast. Luckily JC spoke up.

"You guys, I think it's time to hit the sack. Erron looks pretty tired and so do you guys. So go find your rooms and we'll see you in the morning," he said sternly but with a hint of love so as not to make them mad. It was very becoming.

"Alright pops," Joey said, "I'm pretty bushed anyway. Good night everyone," he said as he walked out into the hall.

"Me too," Chris chirped, "Erron thanks for everything. See you guys in the morning."

"Well I guess this is my cue," Lance chuckled, "Good night you guys. Thanks for opening up Erron; we're here whenever you need us. And you'd better be here if we ever need a place to stay," he said as he squeezed my arm.

"You bet," I laughed.

"Well I'm off to depression. Just kidding. Night JC, you too Erron," he said as he pulled me into a hug. Justin was hugging me, I was hugging him. Fate must have been hugging me too. Hell, the whole world could hug me now that he started it. The muscularity of his arms seeped through the fabric of my shirt and found it's way to my skin. I could actually feel every valley and crest of his chest. Mounds of muscle waiting to be molested by my hands, my fingers, my tongue, my toes. Wait, maybe not my toes. He released his hug and pulled away but kept a firm grasp on my shoulders, "And if you ever need someone to talk to, come to me. I'll always be there when you need someone."

"Justin don't make me cry," I said as I punched him playfully in the stomach, "I'll make sure I do call you if I need someone to talk to. He smiled and left. I turned to JC, "Well let me show you your room."

"Sounds great, I'm pretty tired," he said with a weak smile. I led him down the hall of my suite and opened the door to the extra master. "Wow, this is great."

"Thanks," I said with a half smile, "This is how I always wanted my room to be." The truth was, I couldn't stand being in that room. It reminded me too much of all the people I have lost. Each breath I took smelled of something familiar. Each glance was a memory of John or my parents. If I didn't exit soon I would become paralyzed in grief. I thought I was over this. FUCK! Now I'm about to cry. The tears welled up in my eyes like a leaky faucet. JC must've noticed because his smile was replaced with a look of concern.

"Erron," he said, "Are you alright?" I tried my best to fake an allergy attack, but it didn't work.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, "Just being in here is kinda hard for me. I guess I'll let you go to bed. If you need anything don't hesitate to wake me. My room is right across the hall. Or just roam around the suite and find it." I walked out and headed straight into my room and left the door open just a crack just in case JC needed something. I stripped down to my boxers and then went to my closet and pulled out a pair of pajamas. They were John's. One of the few things I had left of his. After I was dressed I slid beneath the covers and began thinking.

I was an emotional train wreck. It seems that the train of my brain had derailed and crashed into my tear water tower, which caused a massive spill out of my eyes. Images of my parents in my arms and John in my arms flashed in and out of my head. I was no longer in my room. I was back in Hong Kong watching me hold my parents. Crying those tears that I cried when I first realized that they weren't coming back with me. Then I was in my old flat in down town San Francisco cradling a coughing John in my arms. Crying those tears that I cried when I first realized that, he too, would not be with me when I sold that next book. My mind kept flashing. The room kept spinning. In complete silence I tried to calm my overactive emotional turmoil. To no avail. I was going crazy and the tears weren't stopping. Each tear felt as fresh and sorrowful as each tear I cried over my parents. Every tear had the same ring of loneliness like those that I cried for John. STOP IT! PLEASE FUCKEN STOP IT! I couldn't take it anymore.

"STOP IT," I screamed at the top of my lungs and began crying even harder. A few seconds later, JC came barging into my room and ran up to me.

"Erron, it's okay, I'm here," he said as he cradled me in his arms. "Everything will be all right, I'll stay right here."

"JC, please make it stop," I said as I buried my face into his chest, "It won't stop."

"Shhhh. It will be ok. Just calm down. It will stop soon," he said as he smoothed my hair out.

"Ok," was all I could manage as my breathing slowed and I passed out from exhaustion. I remember feeling so secure in his arms. So safe. This is how my parents and John must've felt in my arms. My mind stopped completely and for a few hours I didn't think. I didn't dream. I slept.

In the morning I awoke to the sound of a quiet snoring above my head. I looked up through the sleep glaze that coated my eyes to see JC still holding me, still there. I was overjoyed at the fact that he stayed with me all night in that uncomfortable position, which will probably send him to the chiropractor a few times, that I didn't have the heart to wake him. I just stared and smiled, like a pubescent teen in Victoria's Secret. After awhile his eyes opened and looked down at me through the film that coated his eyes in the most attractive way. I smiled. He smiled. We smiled. . . together.

"Glad to see you smiling," he said in a gruff, almost too manly voice.

"All because of you. Thank you so much for being here for me," I said as I reached up to hug him. He returned the hug and began to speak.

"I saw the hurt in your eyes last night. I knew that something was definitely wrong. I couldn't leave you here alone after everything you've been through."

"You're the greatest. How can I make it up to you? Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

"No, no, no. No payment is necessary. I was doing what any friend would have done in this situation. But some pancakes wouldn't be bad," he smiled.

"Coming right up your highness," I joked and scooted off to the rest room to prepare myself for the day. "The other rest room is around the corner, clean yourself up, you look like shit."

"Thanks," he laughed. He made his way into the rest room while I took a shower and changed. When I got out he was already in the living room of my suite flipping through the channels on the tellie.

"Make yourself right at home," I said.

"Don't mind if I do."

"What time are you guys supposed to be back at the hotel?"

"Oh dang, I forgot all about the hotel. Noon I believe. What time is it now," he asked in a disappointed way. It reminded me f a kid in a toy store with a hundred dollars, but only five minutes allotted to shop. It was down right adorable.

"Only 9:30. I guess I can go wake everyone up so we can eat and I can get y'all back," I said happily.

"Sounds okay, I'll get Joey and Chris up and you can get Lance and Justin. Be careful with J. He's feisty in the morning," JC said almost very seriously but with that boyish smile.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said as I headed out to the Jealousy room. I use the master key to unlock the door and made my way into the heart of the suite. I could have sworn I was in some bohemian jungle. The d‚cor had a certain feel of foliage. I was expecting some snake to come out and bite me on the toe because I wasn't wearing any shoes. What kind of explorer am I? Oh yeah, I'm not an explorer. Just an overly zealous, overly wealthy, eccentric teen, who could not keep his mind on his missions. I finally made my way up to the door of the master bedroom and knocked. Firmly and loudly. That way I wouldn't have to knock again. I heard a solid response but I couldn't really make out the coherence of the message. I knocked again.

"Come in," Lance replied from within. I entered and sat down at the foot of the bed.

"Morning sunshine. Did you sleep well?"

"Alright. I couldn't stop thinking about the story you told us. It kinda troubled my sleep," he said with a sheepish shrug.

"Me too. Don't worry too much about it. We all have a past. Just some have had to deal with more than others do. It all evens out in the end."

"I guess. What time is it?"

"It's about 9:45. You have to be back at noon so I'm waking you up so that we can all have breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Starving," he said heartily.

"Great, now take a shower and get your ass downstairs," I said as I punched his arm. I quickly exited the room before he could retaliate.

I made my way down the hall to the Sad room and entered. I looked around for awhile and was soon blasted back to all the times I would seek refuge in this room because I felt so alone. I would sit on that blue chaise in the corner and sing to myself, something soft and sweet. Singing to myself always made me feel better. But Now that I have friends who can actually sing and not sound like a dog in heat, maybe they could serenade me once in awhile. I meandered on down to the pastel blue door that seemed to fade into the wall and knocked. No response. Knocked again. No response. I finally decided to enter. And what did I see you ask? I saw sleeping beauty. Maybe a kiss would wake him up? Nah, in no way am I Prince Charming.

There he lay, immersed in blue silk. Dreaming dreams in a way that seemed uncommon to me. He actually was smiling while he slept. Must be dreaming something nice. Curled up in a fetal position, his body was embossed by the thin sheet that covered him. How I longed to be that sheet, and wrap around every square inch of his being making him feel secure. I snapped out of my trance and walked towards the bedside and sat down. I shook him a little which caused him to stir. I shook him some more and he rolled over.

"Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep," he said in a spiteful tone. If I were someone else I may have been offended but I stuck my ground and tried to wake my sleeping prince.

"Justin, come one wake up bud. It's almost ten and you guys have to be back in two hours which gives you just enough time to shower and eat," I said gently. Hoping that my words had hands and those hands would caress his ear as he heard me speak.

"Erron," he asked as he sat up, "I'm so sorry. I thought you were one of the guys."

"That's okay. But last time I checked, I still was a guy. But as for being one of you, I sincerely doubt it. I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket." He chuckled a bit and then began to roll out of bed.

"I guess I'll head into the shower now," he said invitingly. Or at least I made myself believe he said it invitingly.

"Okay. When you're done we'll be downstairs in the galley."

"Could you stay. Talk to me for a while. You can sit on the counter while I shower. If you don't mind, that is," he said with a longing in his eyes.

"I guess I can do that." I followed him down the hall to the bathroom and waited for him to get undressed and in the shower before I entered.

"This room is really nice. Thanks for letting me stay in it."

"No problem at all. This is actually my favorite besides mine. I used to come in here a lot when I felt down. Surprisingly it made me feel better, because I knew that no matter how much sadness I had, that I would get over it. This room will always be blue. I guess it has some weird paranormal sadness absorbing power," I laughed.

We continued to chat for about another ten minutes. I never heard the water turn off. So I didn't know when to leave. The next thing I knew, I was pulled out of my mindless droning by the shower curtain being pulled aside. There standing in front of me was a naked god. My jaw hit the floor and I turned bright red. I looked away as fast as I could.

"What," he laughed, "You've never seen a naked guy before?"

TBC

Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Comments, suggestions, and criticisms are welcome. Email me at erronifyte@hotmail.com. Have a good one.

Next: Chapter 3


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