This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Jack Smith -- uh -- that would be me
Billy -- Jack's closest brother, 3 yrs older.
Will Smith -- My dad
Vivian Smith My mom
Art -- Jack's oldest brother, 9 yrs older.
Ralph Gilmore -- a new friend - deceased
Stacy Whitworth -- a catalyst/friend
George Toliver -- old grade school buddy
George Toliver, Sr, -- (duh!)
Cynthia Toliver -- (Mrs. Duh!)
Jim Walls-- George's cousin
Uncle Jake Smith-- Will's Brother
Aunt Lindy -- Uncle Jake's wife
Seth Gary -- One of Jake and Lindy's other nephews
Etta -- The Jacob Smith's housekeeper.
Jake Smith Jr. Jack's cousin
Colin -- Jake's partner
Carrie Smith -- Another of the Smith cousins
Al -- Carrie's Partner
Chris Gary -- Seth's older brother.
Craig -- Chris's partner
Mario -- Old high school friend
Terrence Moynahan -- Carmel Architect
Casey Bell -- Terrence's attorney
Ryan Crayson-- my husband
Ryan Jr. (Rye) -- Our son
Ranee -- Our daughter.
Harold -- the butler
From Chapter 28:
I decided that Ryan's state was good enough to tell him. "The psychiatrist will help you to see some of the things that we have talked about here. He'll help you understand the reality of what's happening. He can -- probably will -- prescribe something to help you deal with the fear and anxiety you're experiencing now.
"The urologist can find out what your level of testosterone and other hormones that are specific to the physical trauma you have had. I know that Seth would not have referred us here unless he thought it would help."
"<<SIGH!>> I suppose. Will you go with me?"
"Of course!" I said. "But I can't hold your hand while he shrinks you!"
"Fuck you!" He quipped.
"Thank you." I replied, sweetly.
Chapter 29
Dr. Underwood's office is upstairs in one of the historic Carmel buildings on Ocean Ave. It has a very fashionably appointed reception/waiting room with plenty of reading material. We sent the kids to the beach at the end of the street, which was not far from Jim's house.
Ryan was very jittery, the closer we got there. He started to visibly shake as we climbed the final staircase to Dr. Underwood's office. I stopped halfway up and stopped him too. I held him for a good half minute.
"Ryan -- Sweetheart -- He's only a man."
"I know. I don't know why I feel this impending doom." He paused, and then went on, "But what if - "
"I thought we agreed that we would not `what if' this thing." I said.
" I know! HOKAY! I guess we're here. Let's do this! You know what kills me is -- I can take pain - like I did when I was tied up -- and even if I know it's gonna be more than I can stand -- that doesn't scare me as much as -- (FUCK!) opening up to some guy -- well, almost any guy other than you -- that I don't know."
"Sweetheart -- You opened up to Seth."
"I did, didn't I? Okay, I think I'm ready."
Dr. Underwood's door was locked. We knocked. He answered the door himself.
"Hello, I'm Harvey Underwood." He said, very warmly.
"Oh!" I said. "I was afraid we had assumed the wrong time."
"No- well I assume you are -- well, one of you is -- Ryan?"
"That'd be me." Said Ryan, lifting his finger.
"And -- you brought your partner with you. That's great! It's always good to start with a mutual understanding in matters like this."
"Huh?" We both said.
"Seth didn't tell you? I would have thought - - well, hopefully it will put your mind at least a little at ease -- I'm gay." Immediately, Ryan's demeanor relaxed. "Seth and I go way back. I met him while he was still in college. He came to me for a few sessions after his accident."
Dr. Underwood was being kind. Seth tried suicide after a string of unfortunate events. He confided this to me when I was still disturbed about Ralph's successful suicide.
"If not for our professional relationship, I would have been tempted to -- go for him. But I thought better of it when I realized he was so much younger than I." Ryan's eyes hit the ceiling, and I winked at him. Dr. Underwood saw that. "Sorry. But then I found out about his partner, Brian -- but this isn't about Seth. Suffice to say that he's had a world of experience -- when it comes to being empathetic with others. And Seth DID mention there is an age difference here too. May I ask what it is?"
"I'm 48 and Jack is 38, Doctor."
"The reason I ask is -- well at this time in a man's life, many men go through a lot of -- er -- changes. And -- say, Ryan, would you mind if Jack sits in with us -- at least this first session? -- And Please -- call me Harv. Everyone else does."
Again there was a visible relaxing that took place in Ryan's whole demeanor. "I'd love that, Harv, on both counts!" He said.
Harv explained to us that when a man nears fifty, his libido slows down considerably and that there is little that can be done to change that. So we should not expect miracles. But he also said that some of the side effects -- at least temporarily -- of some of the prescribed drugs -- may have some limited "miracle" effect that way.
I was glad for this explanation, but later that evening, I had to do a phenomenal bit of reassuring to Ryan. But he was in a much better space than he was in before we went to see Harv.
Harv, after the initial visit with us, gave Ryan some sample drugs to experiment with. One was actually a shot directly to his penis -- to help him stay hard enough to do what we wanted. That part worked, though Ryan couldn't get off. This upset him some, but he was glad for at least that much. At least he did still have feeling in his genitals.
Harv made an appointment for exactly a week later. That drove Ryan up the wall, because of the work he'd be missing. But after several days he realized why. The drug that he was taking orally didn't seem to have any effect until the 4th or 5th day, when he got a surge of - - - horniness -- during our surfing outing.
Friday night was when we went to dinner -- barbecue -- at Jim's house. I didn't know what to expect -- having not laid eyes on George for nearly 15 years, and not really spoken more than two words in the last 20.
At first, as much as Ranee pooh poohed the idea of even talking to George's wanker celeb-partner, while I talked to George, her enthusiasm ran over, and she almost made a fool of herself. But the part that really surprised me was -- Rye!
After the young star edged his way away from Ranee, he made his way over to Rye. I found it hard to concentrate on what George was telling me, as I saw and watched this pro eye and fairly drool over my son. And my son just stood his ground and acted as if he couldn't tell what this little pervert was doing.
I finally stepped away from George, crossed my arms and gawked at the two of them. I looked at George.
"Oh yeah, I have to let him play a bit. It's for sure I can't satisfy him by myself! But -- he takes good care of me."
It was hard to listen to him -- not because of his situation, but because I was probably too concerned with my son! At 18 years old, is he too impressionable to withstand such an onslaught of attention from a celebrity that he obviously also was more impressed with than he had put on.
In person, without the makeup and lights, Will was actually better looking than on the video I saw. Mostly because he looked more vulnerable and -- humble -- which he obviously was - - neither.
"Have you met my man yet?" Said George.
"No!" I said. "I'm thinking this is a good time for it."
As we walked up to the two of them, Rye said, "Hi, Dad."
"Dad? This is your dad?" Said Will, his eyebrows hitting his hairline.
Then Rye said something that shocked me: "One of them!" He said it almost braggardly. I couldn't help myself: I scowled.
"Ah! Your parents divorced too, huh? Nice to meet you Mr. - "
"Rye's Mom died." I said, still scowling. "I married his Pop, later!"
Will looked at me and then back to Rye, and grinned. "KEWL!"
"Nice to meet you, Mr. - -" This time he offered his hand.
"Crayson-Smith"
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Crayson-Smith!" I shook his hand and have to admit, when he looked me in the eyes, it was hard to do anything but smile back. Then it hit me. My son's not gay! Or at least -- meeting a celeb isn't gonna make him gay!
"So, Will, are you looking forward to this tournament?" I asked.
"I HATE golf!"
"Why do you do it, then?" I asked, now intrigued.
"Hmph!" he laughed. "Mostly for my guy! George likes to golf and -- so does his father. I'd do anything to get George Senior to accept us." George beamed as Will kissed him on the cheek.
That made me like him a little better. "We have kind of an open relationship." Said George. At that I couldn't keep my eye brows from rising.
"I need a bimbo once in awhile. I didn't mean to hit on your son." He grinned widely at me.
"No risk of anything like that happening!" Said Rye. "But I am impressed that you are so -- well -- much more -- um -- well -- NICE -- than I expected." Then Rye looked embarrassed. "I mean -- shit!"
"It's okay kid! I get that a lot." As Rye walked in another direction.
"So, I know this is a celebrity tournament. Will you be playing with George?"
"Yeah - - George Senior! I requested it on purpose."
"Wow!" I said and looked at George. "This kid impresses me more and more!" I said. I really expected one of those bimbos that Will was talking about.
I looked around for Rye, and he and Jim were involved in happily animated conversation. That pleased me.
At dinner -- we ate it in the dining room, with an orange, red, pink and yellow sunset painting the windows on the beach side of the house -- Jim had a catered meal, which was wonderful.
Once I decided that my son was old enough to take care of himself, at least in that department, I felt badly for my old friend George. He made his bed and was now forced to lie in it, I know, but it hurt me to imagine how it must hurt George when Will shamelessly flirted with young guys.
George and Will left before the rest of us -- because they needed to get a good rest before the tournament, I saw George whisper something in Will's ear. Will, having had more wine than the rest of us replied loudly, "Hell no! I wouldn't mind at all! Hell, I do it all the time, don't I?"
Then George walked directly to Jim and said, "Cuz, I'll always love you!" and he wrapped his arms around Jim and hugged him close and planted a very romantic kiss on Jim's lips -- which Jim had no problem accepting.
Will looked on and then said, "That's what I love about him. He knows how to love! I couldn't care less about the other guys I do. They're just for fun. George is for love! He loves me and I love him. And if he has capacity to love his cousin too -- I am in awe!"
After they left, Jim looked like a new man. His whole countenance changed.
On our way home, Rye said, "Um -- is that okay -- what those guys do?"
"Certainly not!" Said Ryan.
"It wouldn't be my choice, Rye." I replied. "I don't think it would work for a heterosexual couple -- at least not for very long -- but gay guys have more options sometimes. They also have less opportunities in other areas."
"Your dad's right!" Said my Ryan. "It would not work whenever a family is involved -- gay or straight. But more often than not, gay couples don't have families."
"We're just lucky!" Said Ranee, hugging her daddy. Rye, seeing this, hugged me. I guess it's okay for each kid to have a favorite. I know that -- even though it's not supposed to be that way -- most parents have a favorite too. But you're not allowed to admit it!
Saturday morning found us bound for Zuma beach -- where Luke and Seth were waiting for us. It was sweet to watch Luke teach Seth to surf.
Then it was my turn! The waves may not have been very large, but when they are five feet over your head, in five feet of water, they SEEM large -- to a beginner! I was terrified -- until I caught my first wave. When I came in, Ryan was right beside me all the way, laughing and giggling with me like a couple little kids.
As I said, it was this day that the meds he was taking took effect. And they hit all of a sudden -- or maybe it was the excitement of that first successful ride -- for me -- that turned him on. We were in the water, at the end of that long ride, and a wave pushed him off balance. He surged toward me. I was off balance too, but remained planted on the sand. He was pushed right into me. I guess when he felt my warm soft skin, he immediately produced wood and started to hump me!
"Well!" I said, "Something seems to be working!"
"Hey! Get a room, Dads!" Yelled Rye, laughing as he easily rode a wave past us.
That was enough to embarrass him into his former state. Ryan gave Rye a dark look, but neither of us could get the grin off our faces for most of the rest of the day. I had to put my towel around my waist twice, to hide my "feelings".
That night -- unfortunately -- we could not act on what we were desperate to do. Doctor Underwood had told us that we should not, until the meds were adjusted -- fine tuned -- somewhat.
On Tuesday, when he saw him again, Harv said, "What? That happened without the aid of the shot?"
Ryan filled me in on their conversation: "Well, yeah." Said Ryan. "I was only taking the pills."
"You're partner is gonna hate me! Or maybe love me -- tonight! But without taking the shot, and the pill working like it has, you COULD have been doing -- whatever you wanted -- all weekend!"
"Partner shmartrner! I hate you!" Laughed Ryan. "Well, tonight we'll make up for it."
"Good. And -- I want you to cut your dose of pills in half, starting now."
"No way!" Said Ryan.
"I told you we have to tweak it. You obviously won't be needing the injection stuff -- and if you ever do -- in the future -- you can see any urologist to get it. Keep the formula and if ever you feel you need it, call me to see if there is a better or safer formula."
"Safer?" Said Ryan.
"All medications have constraints and cautions. But apparently you won't have to worry yet. As when you started taking it, with this lower dose of hormones, you won't see a change for a couple days. So -- have your fun while you can! Here is my cell phone number in case you have an emergency."
Unfortunately we did have an emergency. As on Saturday, Ryan got very hard, very fast and we were hot to put it to use, but about halfway through the act - - it ran out of steam! We were supremely disappointed.
Ryan called Harv in the morning, and he said, not to worry! Just inject a smaller portion of the stuff into your penis. Let me know how it goes. Oh! And if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours go to the emergency room."
We sent the kids to the beach and -- in the interest of research of course -- Ryan gave himself a shot. It got hard without him even thinking about it. I set a timer. We were able to do everything we wanted -- and more. Ryan had his first ever double orgasm. He had an orgasm, and would have stopped -- as normal - but since he was still hard, I begged him to keep thrusting. He not only did that, he started to go even faster and harder. I was amazed and shocked, really -- and pleased! Then it happened. He let out a guttural cry that had to maybe scare any neighbors that may have been in the motel at midday. Then he went wild -- wilder than ever, and certainly wilder than any porn flick I ever saw.
He had a second orgasm that he said was stronger than he knew was possible. I also came hard, because of Ryan's excitement, but -- then it started.
The waiting.
One hour.
Two hours.
He was regularly rubbing his penis because it hurt being hard that long.
Three hours.
Three hours and forty-five minutes
Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep! The alarm went off! Four hours and he was still hard as a rock. We quickly got dressed and by the time we got to the car, "Um -- I think it's going down."
We didn't want to bother Harv again this soon, so Ryan observed, "It seemed to go down when we were hurrying to get ready. Let's take a quick walk."
That's all it took. It was sweetly soft by the time we got back to the room. Before we went back to Vermont, we called on Harv one more time -- to say g'bye and - - -
"Harv -- I have a question." Said Ryan. Harv nodded. "My partner -- um -- would it hurt if he used the stuff -- the shot -- sometimes?"
"Aha! You had a double, didn't you?!" Harv grinned.
"Yes."
"I'm not a Urologist, and I DID NOT TELL YOU THIS: Some men have been known to take the shot when they didn't really need it. If someone were to ask me I'd always tell them not to play with fire. But if someone insisted, I would tell them to be careful -- and start slow and small.
"But I didn't tell YOU that!" he reminded us.
I spoke up. "If this hypothetical guy did shoot himself, would you have any guesses what a hypothetical doctor would say was starting dose?"
Harv smiled. "He'd probably say to start with .01 cc. And then work up from there."
Thanks Harv -- for everything!" Said Ryan.
We returned to Vermont the next day.
"Dad?"
"Yes, son?" I said.
"It's good to hear my dads having it out at night again!"
"It IS, isn't it, Rye!
The End
Epilog -- Jim wrote regularly after our reunion. George came to see him often -- most times without the bimbo. (A NICE bimbo, I finally had to admit!) Whenever Will wanted to bonk a young fan or some other guy, George came to Jim for "consolation".
It's anyone's guess what that means!
Finally, George lost his appeal to Will, and he was content to return and live with his cousin. It was finally a good match, because Will gifted George enough that he didn't have to rely on Jim for his own upkeep.
In about twenty years, I legally was able to get my own prescription. (!!) By that time, there were no more double orgasms for either of us.
Rye and Ranee each married a wonderful spouse. They both moved to California! I guess "the grass is always greener!"
Harold was remarried and Ryan built a swimming pool and hired a very hot "pool boy" to run the estate and be our bodyguard. The pool boy has his own quarters in the cabana on the far side of the pool -- and a husband of his own.
Notes: Thanks so much for all your support and encouragement. If enough of you beg me, I'll start another story. Comments as always are welcome, to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve