This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings,beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it mightnot be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at timesbetween males, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindif story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY! Cast of characters:
Michael Timothy Headly -- That's me!
Spike -- (Diane, my big sister)
Mary -- My mom
Tom -- My father.
Gilbert Blank -- Friend from Woodland
Joey Gray -- Gilbert's "little brother"
Bobby Pepper -- New friend
Arlo Gates - Orienteer
Randy Samson -- Arlo's roomie
James Samson (Jay) Randy's adopted brother and ... My Twin!
... From Chapter 10:
Both Randy and Jay's eyes were closed, but not mine! I didn't want to miss this, and then it hit me:
I reached over and put Jay's hand on Randy's and Randy's hand on Jays. Randy's non-sighted eyes popped open and Jay looked over at me questioningly. I put my hand over his and started him jerking his brother. Randy immediately joined in and they were happily touching each other for the very first time. It wasn't long before I was caught up in their joy as one by one -- starting with Jay and ending with me ... we all blew cum all over my sheets, ourselves and they on each other.
When we were done, Jay climbed on top of his brother and hugged him close. I felt a little out in the cold, but it still felt good.
Chapter 11
"Thanks for that, little brother!" Said Randy. "I have to say, it's very tempting to push it further. But I like girls and -- I don't want to develop any more hunger for something I can do without. I know both of you wish you weren't gay. But at least you have each other. How perfect is that?"
"About as perfect as it can get!" I thought.
"Perfect?" Said Jay. "Oh -- yeah, I guess it is. Somehow it really feels -- um -- okay -- or something -- to learn things from my twin!"
"No, your silliness!" Said Randy. "I meant, it is so perfect and convenient to have your own built in lover."
"I know! That's what I mean!" Said Jay.
"No. I don't think you do mean that. I mean for you two to be boyfriends!" Said Randy.
YESSS!
"Wha-at?" Exclaimed Jay. "I mean -- EW! He's my brother!"
My heart sank.
"Suit yourselves." Said Randy. "It just looks like a good thing to me. You're both hot guys -- and you're so -- um -- alike -- in so many ways. You're twins, for craps sakes!"
"Yeah, that's the problem. Playing around is maybe okay -- I mean it's safe, I guess -- but -- as a boyfriend ... a partner? I don't THINK so! Don't you agree, Mikey?"
The way he said that last part sounded like he just spit out something disgusting. I guess it was ... to him. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know him well enough to be heart broken, exactly, but I was feeling very defeated and disappointed. I felt a renewed anger and resentment welling up against ... our parents. Which parents, I was not quite sure about. I wanted to scream at someone ... but could not even show my frustration.
"Mikey? ... MIKE!" Jay repeated.
"Oh -- huh?" I said, suddenly called out of my self pity.
I said, don't you agree?"
"I -- um -- I don't - "
"You see, Randy -- he doesn't think so either! Seems like the straight guy is the only one who's in love with the idea of us being in love!"
Well, maybe not the ONLY one! I thought.
"Well, anyway, it's Saturday morning and way too early to get up! Shall we get more snooze time?"
"I'll go for that." I said.
"Why don't you come in with me, Jay," said Randy, "I've hardly seen you since you got here."
They left me to myself. Didn't see that coming. I got up and closed the door behind them and came back to bed. What the hell just happened? I closed my eyes, but that couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of them. I couldn't make any sense of it -- at all. On one hand I could see some logic in Jay's thinking. Brothers and sisters aren't supposed to -- to -- be THAT close -- are they? And yet being in love with ... MAKING love TO -- my brother -- THAT brother -- my ONLY brother ... my twin ... almost like ... my self -- seemed so right!
I heard the door open. I think I was sleeping -- maybe -- a little. I was almost afraid to open my eyes -- but I did. "Hi." He said.
"Hi." I returned.
"You okay?"
I could hardly talk. "I've been better."
"Wanna talk?"
"I don't think you'd understand."
"Y'all might be surprised what Ah might understand." He smiled sweetly and sat beside me on the bed. "Y'all had a rough night huh?"
I nodded. "Weird -- but yeah -- kinda rough.
"Lotta love between them two!"
"Sigh! I know."
"But Ah've known Randy long enough to know -- he's straight as an arrow. Your brother'll come around."
"It's not what you think. It's not about - "
"It doesn't matter." He said, as he lay his hand on my back and started to rub it gently. "Just don't worry about it. Enjoy your new brother and -- let other things take care of themselves."
"Yeah, well, you're probably right." I said. "Worrying about it can't help. You look tired yourself. Don't tell me YOU had a rough night ... too?"
Arlo smiled. "Ah've had better!" He said maybe using my exact term subconsciously on purpose.
It was uncomfortable trying to look at him while lying on my tummy. So I turned over. He let his hand follow my turn so it was resting on my bare chest. He looked away and continued, "Ah've been up most of the night -- thinkin' about you -- and Jay -- and -- wondering what y'all's deal has to do with me." As he said this, his finger seemed to be absent mindedly drawing circles on my chest. The sheet on me was beginning to tent.
"Oh. What - "
"Mike -- Ah really liked what you and I done since you've been here. Ah guess Ah was feelin' a little sorry for muhself -- what with you and y'all's new brother and all."
"Oh!" I said again. "Arlo -- we aren't -- um -- I mean -- he doesn't want to -- um - " I felt tears start to well up. "He's really not into -- brother love."
"Well -- Ah guess Ah'm assumin' since you're twins and all -- that he's gay -- right?"
"Yeah. But still doesn't want - "
"He doesn't want to play with his brother?"
"Oh -- yeah -- that's all he wants to do. Play."
"You've had a head start on him, Mike. Give him some time."
"You still haven't told me what's bothering you -- really -- other than maybe you were afraid that - um -- well -- what exactly were you afraid of?"
"Well that's just it. At first Ah was a little jealous -- which is fricken silly! But what kept me up was -- was - " and then his voice broke. I waited, looking deeply into his eyes. He seemed to not be able to take his eyes from me. He stopped the circles on my chest, and wrapped his hand around my neck gently. "Sigh! Ah was thinkin' -- a lot -- about -- if Ah could be gay!"
"Oh!" I said again, feeling lame for my one word answers.
"Ah really don't think Ah am. Ah mean -- Ah don't -- please don't take this badly -- Ah really don't WANT to be -- to be -- that way."
"It's hard to say it, isn't it, Arlo? And for the record ... I don't want to be gay either! Or at least I didn't -- and now I'm still not so sure!" I laid my hand on his, on my neck and said, "C'mere."
He leaned closer and with my other hand I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. His eyes got big and he tried to pull away. I kept him there. "Just kiss me, Arlo. It's not gonna kill you."
He closed his eyes and kissed me. I probed his mouth and with very little encouragement, he opened it and we kissed deeply. I then eased up on his head and he stayed and I kissed away his tears. "It's okay, Arlo. You may be at least bi if you liked that a lot."
"That's the trouble -- Ah've liked everything you've shown me. Ah'm almost afraid to do any more, and yet ... I feel like I need to get this out of mah system."
"Oh." I said, not knowing quite how to respond.
"It's okay, Mike. Ah can tell you're hurtin' right now -- Ah just wanted you to know how Ah feel."
"Thanks, Arlo."
"Do you -- erm -- want a -- um -- hug -- or sumthin'?"
"Sigh! That would probably fell pretty good right now."
He stood up, I suspect waiting for me to stand for the hug. Instead, I just opened the sheet as a way to invite him in. He sat slowly -- seriously -- then swung his legs up and climbed in top of me. We hugged and we both had wet cheeks -- for different reasons. I kissed the top of his head, and he, my chest. He relaxed more into me. He is short enough that with his head snuggled under my chin, our groins were perfectly matched together. Our boners were throbbing and flexing against each other.
It was in this position we found ourselves when a knock on the door woke us up. "I had a talk with Randy. He told me about you and him." Said Jay. Then he saw me and Arlo. "Oh! Well, you just seem to get real friendly with everyone, I see."
Arlo awoke suddenly and almost flew out of the bed. "We were -- we were -- just talking and -- and - " He said flustered.
" -- and one thing led to another, and - " said Jay, sarcastically.
"No!" I said. "And nothing happened! We just both -- needed -- a hug. Then we fell asleep."
"Oh! Sorry." Said Jay. I recognized that look on my twin's face: abject humility.
"It's okay," said Arlo, "Thanks for talking to me, Mike. Heh! Ah'm supposed to be your orienteer and you seem to be orienting me!"
Orienting or re-orienting?
"Ah'll see you boys at breakfast."
After Arlo left, Jay closed the door.
"Wow!" I said.
"What?" He said.
"I was just going to close that!"
"Oh ... so?"
"So ... um ... why did YOU close it?" I asked.
"I -- uhhhm -- I don't really even know."
"Jay-Jay -- close your eyes." He did. "Tell me what I'm thinking -- right now."
"Are you kidding me?" He said.
"No -- remember we talked about times when you -- or I -- seemed to think thoughts that were totally off the wall?"
"Yeah?"
"Maybe -- I wonder if -- just tell me what you think I'm thinking right now, Jay."
"I dunno. I'm sorry but -- I just don't - "
"Why did you close the door?"
"You told me to!" he said, defensively.
"That's just it! I DIDN'T tell you too. I thought it, but I didn't say it."
"I heard you say it! You said -- you said -- um -- something like, `Gotta close the door.' So ... I did."
"Jay, I barely had time to think it and you did it. I didn't say it at all ... did I?" now I am doubting myself.
"Idiot!" He said.
"Whaddaya mean?" I said.
"Whaddaya mean, what do I mean?"
"You just called me an idiot!" I said, smiling.
"Wha -- nuh-uh! What? Did I say that out loud?"
"That's just it, Jay-Jay. I just WATCHED you NOT say it ... but I heard it!"
"No way!" He exclaimed. NO WAY! This is too cool!"
I grinned widely. "Well, maybe except -- you might be a little careful what you are thinking about me!"
"Hey! I'd never have said that out loud! You can't blame me for what I'm thinking! I didn't mean it that way anyway."
"Oh! Okay." I said, still playing with him, "How DID you mean it?"
"I only meant -- um -- well -- heh! I guess I DID mean it, but I didn't think - "
" - you didn't think I'd hear it."
"Well obviously, but I didn't think it was possible ... until this moment." He said.
"If we can control it, it could be fun. I didn't hear anything else ... only that. So maybe it's things which are more emotional -- or something. And I didn't exactly hear it ... more like felt it -- or something."
"Well, like I said, we can't be held responsible for what pops into our head." He said. "So let's right here agree on that!"
"I do agree. " I said, then I thought, "Right now I'd like to have sex with you." He didn't react. Then he saw the look on my face.
"What?" He said, then "What now?" grinning.
"I want to have sex with you!" I thought, and unfortunately, in my concentration, my face was frowning.
"What?" He asked again. "What's wrong?"
So once more I concentrated hard and thought, "I wanna FUCK YOU!"
"If I understood you, it doesn't make sense?" He said, but his voice was trembling a little.
"What did you get?" I asked.
"Well, I don't even like to say it, but like I said, it doesn't make sense. I don't even use that kind of language. I heard you tell me, `Fuck you!' Why would you tell me that?" I saw hurt on his face.
"Ohhhh noooooo~!! I didn't I mean -- I DID say -- um -- here's what I said. First I said, I wanna have sex with you.' But when you didn't get it, I said, I wanna fuck you.' But I guess all you heard were the last two words. Which tells me even more that we need to always ask before we jump to any conclusion about what we heard."
"What ... right now?"
"Well -- whenever it happens, we need to not assume the worst. I mean - "
"No -- I mean you wanna have sex -- right now?"
"Oh! No! I mean -- yes, but maybe we should get out breakfasting since the other guys are waiting."
"Yeah."
He started to open the door, I stopped him. I closed the door over his shoulder, and then kissed him. He was surprised at first then melted right into me and kissed me back as never before.
"Fasten your seat belts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" He said, breathlessly.
"Huh?"
"It was a line from a Bette Davis movie. Let's eat!" He said and kissed my nose before opening the door again. I grabbed his butt as we left the room. He just grabbed my hand and held it.
We DID have sex -- twice -- before it was time for him to go back home. Before he left, he said. "I'll be back! I promise!"
"Yeah, I'm here two years and you don't come to visit!" Pouted Randy. "And now you can't wait to get back. I wonder why?"
Jay threw his arms around his brother and held him close. He whispered something ... which I wished I could "hear", but I couldn't. Randy smiled and hugged Jay even closer, tears coursing down his face. I walked to the bus stop with Jay.
"What did you tell him?" I asked.
"Nothin'. Only that I love him and I'm sorry ... but ... I never met a twin before! And I also reminded him he could come home more often. It's only across town!"
"How are you going to break the news to your parents?"
"I really don't know. I'm kind of over being pissed. I think maybe I'll let you do that."
"Huh?"
"That would be very cool. You can come home with Randy -- that'd make it easier for him too -- and we could tell them together -- in some -- blow their mind way!"
"How soon?" I said.
"Well -- it can't be too long! Let's talk to Randy and see what he thinks. Maybe in a couple weeks?"
"I can wait that long."
"It'll be harder for me. I have to be around them."
"I mean it'll be hard to wait and -- save myself -- for you. I've gotten so used to being close with my roomies!"
"Huh? No! Don't do that! Don't wait like that!"
"But I love you!" I said.
"And I love you," he said. But I'm sorry ... I can't tell you that I'm IN love with you." He said, giving me a pouty, I'm sorry look.
"I didn't say - " I started.
"I know you didn't. I felt it. Give me some time, Mikey. I'm just barely used to being -- gay -- anyway."
"I'll wait."
"That's exactly what I don't WANT you to do. If I know you're waiting, I'll feel pressured. I just -- I just - " He looked at me, not quite crying.
" -- You don't need that right now -- I get that."
"You do?"
"I do. I felt it, Jay Jay!" I said, smiling."
We sat down on the bus stop bench. He took my hand. "I felt that too, Mikey!" He said, peering deeply into my eyes.
The bus came and it was almost too dramatic, as he got up, neither of us wanting to break out grip on the other's hand. Finally they slipped apart and he hopped on the bus. He walked back to the third seat and sat, never taking his eyes from me. When the bus left, I felt somewhat empty, but not terribly so.
I walked slowly back to the bungalow. The TV was on and Friends was re-running. As soon as I stepped in, there was laughing. As I stepped in the door, Randy said, "Those laugh tracks are so phony! I assume it's you, Mikey. Arlo's in the head. I miss him already." I moved in his direction and he sensed that and got up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a close hug. Arlo walked in.
"Jay's gone -- right?" He said, not exactly sure it was me.
"Yeah." I said. He smiled and sat down. Randy pulled me down to the couch with him. Yet another laugh track from Friends, which was echoed by Arlo.
Randy pulled me to him and held me closely but -- tenderly, holding my head to his chest. "Dang if you don't just smell like him!" Whispered Randy.
"Sorry -- we hugged a bit."
"No -- it's okay! I like it!" He said, then after a pause, "I'm really glad we found you."
"Me too." I said. "I - "
"No, let me finish." Said Randy. "I wasn't so sure about that until you walked my brother to the bus stop. I thought about the two of you while you were gone. I resented you last night and -- well -- this morning. But now I think I see everything a little differently. It just dawned on me. You're not some kind of threat. You're not going to take him away from me. You're just one more that I can love. And because of you, I'll probably see more of my little brother."
"I'm going - " I started, then changed it, "WE're going home week after next."
"Good. Then again a couple weeks after that will be Thanksgiving. You'll come home with us then too -- right?"
"Oh! I hadn't thought much about that. My parents will want me to come home for Thanksgiving."
"Oh, wow! It didn't occur to me that you had different parents. I mean -- I know, of course, but it just kind of slipped my mind, I guess. I noticed Jay didn't seem to mind going home. Is he still pissed at Mom and Dad?"
"Well, definitely not AS pissed, anyway. But he wants to surprise them with me ... week after next."
"Oof!" He exclaimed.
"Oof?" I parroted back.
"Well, that'll be a surprise alright!" He said, with a little concern.
"We can't do it without your help, Randy."
"Even bigger oof!" He said. "I'm not too sure I wanna do that to them."
"You'll do it for your little brother -- won't you?" I said, snuggling up closer on him.
"Oh! You're as bad as he is!"
"I try!" I said. He spanked my butt tenderly. My hand was resting on his tummy -- inches from his ... and I gave it a squeeze.
His hand found mine and squeezed again. I looked and Arlo was watching us intently. He shrugged and smiled. "I love you, Randy." I whispered.
"Yeah, I love you too, Mikey!"
"I wasted a lot of time with my brother this weekend." I said. "Either of you need to use the study?" "I wouldn't call that time wasted!" Said Randy.
"It was wasted as far as study time goes."
"It's all your's Mikey!"
I Shed most of my clothes and dragged myself to the study (where my twin was SUPPOOSED to stay the weekend!) and got to work on my homework. Arlo brought me some soup and a sandwich. At nearly midnight, I gave up and decided I couldn't do it any longer and stumbled into my room. As I was already in my skivvies, I just dropped them on the floor and climbed into bed ... only to find a warm body there already.
"Hi." He said.
"Hi." I returned. "What's up?"
"I -- um -- guess I was just missing my brother ... already. Since he slept here most of the weekend, I just thought -- well -- his smell is here."
"Randy, you can come sleep with me any time. I feel like you're MY brother too!"
"Well, if you do ... I REALLY feel that way. Geez, Mikey, you feel like him, you even smell like him!"
I was turned toward Randy, on my side with my head propped on my hand. Randy was lying on his back, in the middle of the bed. He didn't bother to move when I came in so we were pretty close. He patted his chest. I moved in and he turned slightly to accept me. I couldn't tell yet if he was wooded up, but I was to be sure! And he had to know it, because my hardness was pressing on his side.
"I'm having a little bit of a hard time making the distinction." He said.
"Distinction?" I parroted.
"Everything in me tells me that you are Jay, even though I know you are not. He even gets wood when he lies with me."
"And ... you don't?" I asked.
"Oh -- heh -- I AM alright! I don't think any guy -- with a warm body next to him -- could keep from reacting that way. It's just that -- I -- um -- hardly know you -- well, we have spent some close time together, but -- I dunno, it's hard to explain. I just feel such overwhelming love right now -- and it's confusing whether it's for my brother ... or you. I guess that being the case, I shouldn't even be here."
"Why do you say that?"
"My church leaders tell us that when we are feeling like this -- we should get away from it. But -- I don't want to."
"It's up to you, Randy. I like it! My balls may be blue by morning, but -- I still like it!" I laughed.
"I never touched my brother -- before last night." He said.
"You told me that. So did Jay."
"But we shared a bedroom, so -- we used to - "
"You told me that too."
"Do you think what you and I did was wrong -- I mean before I knew you were Jay's twin?" He asked.
"It doesn't matter what I think. What matters is what you think." I said.
"Damn you!" He said, frustrated. "You're not making this any easier."
"What do you want me to do -- tell you to go against something you believe in?"
"No. I -- it's -- just -- you're NOT my bishop -- or any priesthood leader. You're not even a member of my church."
"So just shut up -- huh?"
"NO! Well, - um -- yeah -- maybe, but not so - "
"Look, Randy. I want to touch you. I want you to touch me. But I don't want you to blame me or hate me afterward."
"We are touching!" He said.
"You know what I mean!"
"Mikey -- you're 18 and I'm 22. We're men. Men who are responsible for ourselves! I'm older -- way older in comparison -- you don't have to worry about perverting me! I'm the one who should worry!"
"And -- are you?"
"No! Well, not very. It's just - "
"It's just that we've been through all this before. You -- and I -- and Arlo -- all have been doing each other -- that is until Jay came."
"I know. And now -- just as it seems right to hug you close -- because it was what I did with my brother -- it seems -- wrong -- to do what we were doing before I found out that -- you're his brother."
"I guess I understand you. I'm not in that position, so I don't have that hangup. But -- if you feel that strongly about it ... I'm okay with it."
I think I saw his face flash a moment of panic ... or something. Then he said, "Dammit! I didn't say that -- ERGH! All I said was that it seems wrong -- or something -- you know?"
I did know. He was wanting me to justify it for him. And ... that's what I told him.
With a half smile, he said, "You see -- that's what I meant by `Dammit!" He laughed. "You're going to make ME take responsibility for my own actions! That's what my dad would do. You're NOT my Dad ... Dammit!" Then he laughed again.
"No, I'm not your dad." I said, and I placed both of my hands gently on his face. "But I'm also not your brother." I whispered.
What he did next blew me away. He kissed me! I mean ... on the mouth -- like he might kiss a girl.
"Don't say anything!" he warned. "I wanna tell you something: My dad promised me 1000 dollars if I never kissed a girl before my mission. When it was clear that I wouldn't be serving a mission, he upped that to 5000 bucks -- if I would not kiss a girl before I was engaged. Let me tell you -- it's not worth it! I plan to kiss a lot of girls. If kissing them feel as good as ... or better than kissing you ... I'll KNOW I like girls better!"
"I didn't know that you were questioning that."
"I wasn't -- before I met you."
"Sorry." I said. "I didn't - " He stopped me with another kiss. "Mrrf! But - " I said. He persisted. I stopped protesting and kissed him back.
After a long passionate kiss, he said, "That's all I wanted!"
"That's all you wanted?"
"Well -- maybe not ALL. I owe you this!" He said and he went directly for my gold. At first he lay his head on my pelvis and just sucked and tongued it. I could feel his day's stubble on the tender skin above my pubes. I started to thrust involuntarily. He picked up his pace and before I knew it, he was bobbing on me like a pro. When I was ready to shoot, I warned him and he just stayed there and kept bobbing until there was nothing left to bob on except a piece of limp flesh -- which he still sucked like a baby on his momma's breast.
I was enough spent that I didn't object or even ask why he was crying and saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I don't think it was meant for me, anyway.
After my breathing slowed down, he came back up and lay on his back, pulling me up on top of himself, then holding me as close as he could, while tenderly and rubbing my back and neck ... and butt.
As I was almost dropping off to sleep, he said, "Please don't tell Jay. I feel like I am in love with you!"
I didn't say anything to counter that statement ... as I had to others. I felt the same way. I just exulted in the feeling of love and security ... no matter how false it might be.
Notes: " ... if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with, love the one you're with, love the one you're with, love the one you're with!" Hey, if someone wrote a song about it ... it must be true! Comments welcome to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and ... Love, Steve