Loving Nick

By Jason Clarke

Published on Sep 1, 1999

Gay

This story involves members of the bands Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members. This is purely a fictional story. Enjoy!

This is my first attempt at writing a story like this so please bear with me. Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com


Loving Nick - Part 6

"Nick!!!" Lance yelled, "where are you?"

"Shhhh...don't let the whole world hear you," Nick said. "I really want to see you in person and talk with you, can you meet me somewhere?"

"Yes, yes!!! Anywhere!!!"

"Can you meet me behind the Olympic Stadium in an hour??"

"Of course!!"

"See you then, Lance. And don't let anyone know that I phoned you...please."


Lance finished packing up and tried to hide his excitement so that the others wouldn't get suspicious. He excused himself and caught a cab. He arrived at the Olympic Stadium in about 45 minutes. He walked around to the back and looked for Nick. By this time, many of the tourists had left so it wasn't too difficult to find Nick. Lance saw his love immediately. Nick was sitting on a bench, his head buried in his hands.

Lance walked up to where Nick was sitting and sat down beside him. "Are you alright?" Lance asked softly.

Nick looked up and saw Lance beside him, and a small smile appeared on his face. Despite the smile, Lance could see that sadness and loneliness totally consumed Nick.

"Thanks for coming, Lance," Nick finally said. "You're the only one that I can really talk to now."

"Any time, Nick," Lance answered in a reassuring tone.

Nick took Lance's hands and they both walked around the park. Lance noticed that Nick wasn't nervous about anyone seeing them holding hands. Although he was a little apprehensive about this, he also felt pure joy at Nick's seeming acceptance of him.

Eventually, they walked back to a small hotel near the Olympic Stadium. They went up to Nick's room and they continued talking.

"So why did you leave, Nick?" Lance finally asked. He was not sure if this was a wise move, not knowing if Nick really wanted to talk about it or not.

"I guess I was just scared, that's all. I didn't know how to face the other guys anymore. So I took the easy way out," Nick answered dejectedly.

Lance held Nick tight, trying to be a pillar of strength for him. He looked Nick in his eyes and said firmly, "No, Nick, what you've done over the past few days can only be described as courageous. You didn't run away from your troubles, but you stayed to deal with them. But you are only human, Nick, and sometimes trying to get away is not such a bad thing."

Nick smiled. Lance always managed to make him feel good about himself. He wondered why he didn't notice that before.

They continued talking for a long time and before they knew it, it was almost midnight. Even though Lance understood why Nick ran away, he did not completely agree with his decision. One of the reasons why Lance came tonight was to convince Nick to go back with him.

"Nick, why don't you come back with me tonight? I know you're still angry at the guys but they're really worried about you."

Nick shook his head. "The only person who worries about me is you, Lance. The others wouldn't care if I turned up dead one morning." Nick's answer was full of bitterness and anger.

Lance cringed at the thought of finding Nick dead on the street. "No, don't ever say things like that!!" Lance hugged Nick tightly and said, "don't ever leave me, Nick."

Nick hugged Lance and gave him a quick kiss. After another hour of persuasion, it was clear to Lance that Nick would not go back with him tonight. In a way, he was getting annoyed at Nick's stubbornness.

"Nick, despite what they did to you, they really do care about you. It was a mistake that they did, but that doesn't change the way that they feel about you," Lance explained. "Are you going to forget your years of friendship because of this one incident?"

"Maybe they should've thought of that before they got me in bed with Brian," Nick shot back. The conversation was becoming more heated, and Nick didn't like where this was heading.

Lance also noticed Nick's increasing annoyance with the topic of discussion. He was afraid that he would alienate Nick but he was also determined to set things right between Nick and the rest of the guys.

"Nick, you can't stay angry at them forever," Lance said to Nick in a serious tone.

"Look, Lance, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Nick, trying to push them out of your mind won't solve the problem. You don't want to do something that you'll regret for the rest of your life."

"I said I don't want to talk about this anymore," Nick said again, raising his voice this time.

"I'm not finished, Nick. You're 19 now, and you can't just run away from everything. You've had enough time to think and don't you think it's time to go back and resolve this whole mess with the guys?"

Nick looked at Lance without saying a word. When he started to speak, his voice was shaking, "So...so you think I'm immature and wrong too, Lance? You're just like the other guys. I thought you were on my side???" Nick's eyes were filled with tears as he spoke. He could not believe that he would fall for the stupid trick again. Lance was just like all the other guys, using him as a toy, playing with his emotions and throwing him aside when they were done.

"I didn't say that, Nick!!!" Lance began to panic, the conversation was spinning out of control. His worst fear was becoming reality. He needed to do something quick before he lost Nick.

"But that's what you meant, Lance," Nick yelled. "You said that you loved me, and would support me and all. But they were all fucking lies!!!!!"

"That's not true, Nick." Lance was crying by this time, knowing that he had committed a horrible mistake. He had pushed Nick too far this time.

"You know what? I don't need any of you, you can all just get the fuck out of my life!!!"

"Nick...please!!!"

"I said get out!! Go back to them and tell them what a stupid idiot I've been. I've been laughed at enough so one more time wouldn't hurt."

Lance tried to hug Nick to calm him down. Nick pushed him aside and Lance fell onto the bed. "Just get out, Lance. I don't want to talk to you or see you again. I can't believe I trusted you and believed you when you said that you loved me."

Lance could not believe his ears, he stormed out of the room in tears and slammed the door behind him. How could Nick say those things to me, Lance thought. He felt deeply hurt yet at the same time, he hated himself for messing up this whole evening. What started out to be an attempt to reconcile differences ended up with him losing Nick.


Nick laid on his bed crying, as has been the case over the last few days. He hated himself for lashing out at Lance. Why did I have to yell at Lance, he thought. Nick knew it wasn't Lance's fault, but he just couldn't hold his anger and bitterness back any longer. Now Lance would probably hate him for life, Nick thought. So many things were going through Nick's head but there seemed to be no answer to his problems. Eventually, he cried himself to sleep.


Lance walked into the hotel with his eyes red from crying. It was almost 2 a.m. and he hoped that none of the other guys would see him. After all, they were bound to ask tons of questions about why he was out so late and why he looked so pathetic and all. He was never good at lying so he was afraid that he would tell them about Nick by accident. He was hurt by Nick's words but Lance was not about to break his promise to his love.

Lance hurried into the elevator and headed up to his floor. He quickly walked towards his room fumbled with the keys.

"Lance, where have you been this late?"

Lance turned around quickly and saw JC and Brian standing in the hall.

"Where've you been? We've been looking all over for you?"

Lance was caught. What was he going to tell the guys?

...to be continued....

Will Lance tell the guys about Nick? What is Nick going to do now that he has lost Lance too?

Please send any comments and/or suggestions to jaclarke@hotmail.com

Next: Chapter 7


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