Living in a Lie

By Trevor Johnson

Published on Mar 25, 2012

Gay

LIVING IN A LIE

CHAPTER THREE

THE BEGINNING

Written by Trevor

Editor Kent

Editor Jack

Please note this story contains boy-to-boy sexual activity and if you don't enjoy this kind of story read no further. This story is completely fiction and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is wholly coincidental. This story may not be published, or reprinted, without the express permission of the author

Because of the three week break between chapters here is the last paragraph from the previous Chapter.

Next morning Veronica and Eddie slept in being a Saturday and when Eddie finally headed for the bathroom he found the door locked. Thinking Jordon had just gone in there he waited for a while before knocking again because his needs had become urgent. He then checked in Jordon's room but it was empty so he tried knocking again but got no reply this time he called to veronica and they ...

Now read on,

After knocking and calling out to Jordon for several minutes Eddie put his foot to the door breaking it open. Veronica screamed when she saw the sight before her. Jordon was lying in a tub of water which was red in colour. Eddie rushed up to the tub finding Jordon laying there, his eyes closed and blood pouring from a cut on his left wrist and a pair of scissors on the floor.

Veronica was just standing there screaming and sobbing while Eddie proved that he was the more level headed of the two. Grabbing hold of Jordon he lifted him out of the water laying him down on the bathroom floor, before grabbing a towel to wrap around the slashed wrist and then another one to put around the pale pathetic figure lying before him.

"Call 911 quickly." He yelled to Veronica bringing her out of her state of shock. She ran to the phone and when she returned she told Eddie, "They said they'd be here in about five minutes."

"Ok, go out into the driveway so they know exactly where to come." He told her thinking that she would be better off having something to do instead of watching her brother slowly bleed to death.

Eddie had managed to stem the flow of blood a bit but it was obvious that Jordon had lost a fair amount of blood and his complexion was a deathly white, his breathing shallow. Not having a lot of training or knowledge in first aid there was not much more that Eddie could do except cradle Jordon in his arms while talking to him in a soft quite voice.

He remained like that and before long the sound of sirens was heard in the distance gradually getting louder before stopping outside. He heard Veronica yelling at them to hurry and soon two young paramedics came into the bathroom to take over from Eddie.

He stood up and got out of their way as they began to work on making Jordon stable before putting him on a gurney and taking him outside and into their vehicle. Eddie started rushing around closing up the house, telling Veronica to get into the car, before chasing after the ambulance to Northumberland Hills hospital which was just about ten minutes out of Port Hope.

When they arrived and had parked the car they dashed into the emergency section heading for the reception counter. When Eddie asked where Jordon was he was told that he was already in surgery and when the doctors had finished they would be right out. The receptionist told them she would advise the doctor so he would know where to find them.

Once they had sat down and got their breath back Veronica once again began crying, "Eddie he must be so mixed up and desperate to do something like that. What on earth can we do to help him?"

"Darling right now I don't know. I think we just have to be strong and be there for him. What about your parents I think we should call them don't you?"

"I don't know if we do, it will come out about his sexuality and it will never do for his father to find out because that will make things worse than they are already for him."

"Well if you don't want to tell your mom and dad, maybe we should call Damian and Bentley perhaps they can help. Plus they are so much closer." Veronica agreed with Eddie and said that she will call them right away. She headed off to find a public phone and when she returned she said, "They are leaving Toronto right now and shouldn't be too long."

Down in Texas, Miles was feeling like shit after what happened the night before with Jordon when he mentioned his new found local boyfriend, Keith Jameson. He kept checking Skype and Facebook looking for Jordon but no luck. He called up Fred but he too hadn't heard hide nor hair of him.

He'd just finished breakfast when his new lover Keith called him to say that he had the day off and his mother was busy with some of her friends and where would he like to meet him.

His male hormones immediately went into overdrive and he had a brilliant idea, "Our next door neighbour has a mobile-home type camper parked near a lake miles from anywhere and the key is hidden under the trash can, we could meet there if that's what you want. I have to be back to pick mom up from her church meeting but we'll have a couple of hours if we leave now."

Miles could feel the excitement in Keith's voice as he gave him directions and arranged to meet him in about an hours' time. All thoughts of Jordon for now had gone completely out of his mind.

Back at Northumberland Hills hospital Jordon was still in surgery when Damien and Bentley arrived to find Veronica and Eddie still sitting in reception. After hugs all round Eddie explained all that happened because once more Veronica was crying along with Bentley.

"We're not sure right now if we should call Jordon's parents or wait till he's out of surgery and find out what he wants to do. What do you think we should do?" Eddie asked Damien.

After thinking things out for a while Damien replied, "If we tell his parents what happened and why, that may make Jordon really freak out, and while we can watch him closely, we can't be with him twenty four seven and it looks as if he's so fragile right now he needs a lot of professional help not just a few friends around him."

Eddie agreed with him as Damien continued, "The school has a very good Psychology team available, and the head of the department, Dr. Winifred Evans, is very good and has had a lot of experience in this field. If we are all in agreement I can call and she if she free later today to talk to Jordon if he is capable."

"I think we should wait and see if Jordon is able to talk to anyone before you call her, but if he is talking when he comes out of surgery than go ahead and give her a call." Replied Eddie.

Another hour or so passed before a doctor came looking for them. Every one stood up anxious to find out what was going on with young Jordon. After Eddie made all the introductions, the doctor explained what happened and what they had to do, "Jordon was lucky because when he cut his wrist he did it cross wise if he had slit along the vein then I'm sorry by the time he got here it would have been too late. He lost a lot of blood so we had to give him a transfusion and we had to repair the vein he cut which was a tricky job but luckily we had a visiting doctor in the hospital who is a specialist in this field otherwise we would have had to move him to Toronto General."

"And will my brother make a full recovery?"

"I don't see why not, physically that is, but he will need some other kind of treatment."

Damien went on to explain that they already had Dr. Winifred Evans coming into see him later today if he is well enough that is." Damien explained.

"I have heard of Dr. Evans and she is brilliant, especially with suicide cases and you were lucky to get her so quickly because she is in demand throughout Canada." The doctor explained.

After answering all their questions he excused himself saying he was pretty busy but not before telling them where Jordon was so they could go see him. Thanking the doctor they headed for the floor and room Jordon was in.

When they got there they opened the door and quietly went in. The room was quite dark with the blinds drawn and only a nightlight over the bed. Jordon looked so weak and pitiful lying there and Veronica began to quietly cry again with Eddie trying his best to console her.

Jordon had several tubes in his arms plus a breathing mask over his face supplying oxygen to his lungs. His eyes were closed and they thought he was asleep but when he heard the crying he opened his eyes looking at the four gathered at his bedside.

In a croaky voice he very quietly almost a whisper, "I'm so sorry, so, so sorry." He then burst into tears and Veronica on one side with Damien on the other both reached in to comfort him.

"Don't worry Jordon we're here to help you and be with you and remember with all of us together we solve whatever caused you to do this." Damien said.

Damien continued "If you need professional help we will get you it. If you don't want anyone else to know, we will respect your wishes or at least advise you on who you ought to tell."

Jordon didn't answer just nodded as the tears continued to flow, "I don't know what made me do it, but everything was catching up with me. Then I got some other news and just couldn't, didn't want to go on anymore. I thought about it all night then early this morning I thought what the hell, the world would be better off without a faggot like me."

Damien grabbed Jordon's shoulders shaking him gently, "Don't you ever say anything like that again Jordon Foster. Just because you were born different than some other people does not mean that you are of no use in this world. You are just as intelligent. In fact, a lot brainier than others your age and we all believe that when you're older you will have a fine job, house and loving partner."

Bentley who had been very quiet since they entered the room spoke up next, "We know that it is not easy growing up in a region which is unable to cope with people like us because of their upbringing, but sadly for the time being, that is a cross you will have to bear. In the meantime don't forget you have friends and relatives willing and happy to help and support you. Ok we live some distance away but with modern communication that's not that bad is it?" Jordon nodded as Bentley continued, "Just one other thing, if you try this stunt again or try and take Damien off me, I'll scratch your fucking eyes out."

Everyone including Jordon burst out laughing which is exactly what Bentley wanted. He might come across as a bit of a queen, but he also had a lot of common-sense.

Veronica asked the question they were all waiting to ask and now the answer, "What about mom and dad? We really should tell them what's going on especially mom."

Once again that worried look appeared on Jordon's face, "Please don't tell dad because that will just make things worse and if you tell mom will she feel obliged to tell dad. Let me think this out a bit more."

"Ok but mom will be expecting a call from you sometime today, so we will have to work something out." Veronica suggested. Damien once more took charge of the conversation. Jordon, I have a Dr. Winifred Evans available this afternoon if you want to chat to her. She is head of the Triangle Project Psychology Department and is one of the best in the business. I suggest that you have a chat with her."

"I don't think I need a shrink at this stage." Jordon replied, "But if you advise it, I will have a talk with her."

Damien explained a bit more about Dr. Evans before heading out of the room to call her and confirm a time for this afternoon. Just as he was leaving a nurse came in to give Jordon and injection into his IV drip explaining that once that gets into his bloodstream he will more than likely sleep. True to her word after about five minutes his eye lids got droopy, so the other three left in the room kissed him on the cheek in turn saying they would leave him to rest and be back later.

As soon as they left, Jordon was sound asleep. Meanwhile in Texas Miles had arrived at the camper, opened it up to get some fresh air in the place before tidying it up and preparing the snacks he had brought with him. Just the thought of what the day might bring got him hard, in fact he'd been in that state ever since he left home.

He heard a car coming up the dirt road and then a light tap on the door, calling out "come in" to his new found boyfriend. Keith Jameson walked in. Miles just stood there open-mouthed as he gazed on the man before him. He was dressed in a white tight T-shirt which showed off his fine physique, and as his eyes dropped down he saw a pair of light cream slacks which were just tight enough the show off a package any man would be proud to have between their legs.

"Wow, you look fantastic Keith, I could eat you."

"Well, what's stopping you?" was the answer as Miles grabbed him, kissing him hard and long with his tongue fencing with his new lover. They began grinding their hard cocks against each other's bodies feeling just how big and ready both of them were.

Both of them began undressing each other as quickly as they could, throwing clothes here, there and everywhere until they were both naked. The big camper had a queen size bed at one end and Miles began guiding Keith towards it without breaking off the kiss.

Falling back on the bed with Miles on top of him Keith grabbed his lover's ass cheeks pulling him hard against his body. Both were moaning like crazy not knowing what they would like to do first; both of them wanting everything connected with gay love to happen right away.

Miles broke off, lifted himself up, moved down towards Keith's cock, while at the same time making sure his own massive erection was close to his lover's mouth. They at the same time licked up and down the shaft in front of them before taking each other's eight or nine inches into their mouths. Keith was about eight inches cut while Miles was nine uncut.

Both of them were on a high with sex as they sucked each other's cocks and before they knew it first Keith and then Miles were blowing massive loads down the others throat. When both of them were drained, Miles moved to lie close to his lover and kiss him so they could share the seed they had left in their mouths between each other.

"I hope you can rise to the occasion again soon." Miles asked with a laugh.

"If you looked, you would see that I'm ready like you are for round two." Keith replied both of laughing and hugging each other. Once again it was Miles who made the first move as he got off the bed pulling Keith to the edge before putting his legs in the air and moving in between them so that he could pull Keith's cheeks apart and use his tongue to probe deep into his hole.

He realized right away that this was a big turn on for his lover who began to moan and move around the bed so much that Miles had to hang onto his legs so his tongue remained were it should. He rimmed him for about twenty minutes sending Keith into a wild frenzy and making him cum for a second time without any one touching his cock.

Moving his face away and replacing it with two fingers, he got his hole ready for his nine inches. Positioning his cock at the entrance he slowly pushed in waiting after each push for Keith to relax again ready for some more cock. Finally when all of his cock was inside his lover he began to slowly fuck him, enjoying the expressions of pleasure on his partners face. Gradually he increased the tempo until he was moving in and out at a great rate feeling himself getting closer and closer to a climax until with a roar he pumped his cum right into Keith's guts.

The look of intense pleasure on both their faces said it all, they were loving everything that was happening between them, falling further and further in love on the way. With both of them totally spent they lay back in each other's arms falling asleep.

Jordon slept till late in the afternoon waking up to find Damien and Bentley siting at his bedside, "Hello sleepy head, how do you feel now?" Damien asked.

"Much better thanks, I think the sleep did me good." He also noticed while he was asleep the mask which was giving him oxygen had been removed and now all he had was a drip in his arm. He also realized that the bandages on his wrist had been changed but he can't remember any of this happening. He asked where his sister and Eddie were and Damien explained that they went home for a rest and would be back later.

"Dr. Evans should be here any minute now Jordon and I hope that you will be completely honest with her and not leave anything out, tell her everything that is happening in your life." Damien said. Nodding his head Jordon said he would.

About five minutes later a smartly dressed middle aged woman with a bright smiling face walked in and Damien introduced her to Jordon before he and Bentley left them on their own.

"Hello Jordon it's nice to meet you but it would have been better if we met under different circumstances." Smiling slightly, Jordon agreed with her as Dr. Evans continued.

"Now Jordon I'd very much like you to call me Winifred or maybe Winnie would be better which is the dreadful name that Damien and the others in Triangle call me." That made Jordon laugh and made him feel much more at ease with this nice lady. "I would like you to tell me your life story more or less from when you can remember being a baby or should I say toddler right up until I walked through that door and saw you for the first time. Is that all right?"

Jordon nodded saying it was ok before he began chatting, covering his life at home right through to his school days and so on. Occasionally Winifred would stop him to ask a question for example when and why did his parents split up and more importantly when he first began to realize that he was different than other boys and gay.

Jordon felt totally relaxed and open talking to this wonderful lady and almost two hours later he finally stopped talking. "Thank you Jordon for being so open talking to me and I guess you must be exhausted by now?" Jordon indicated that he was and he would love a drink, but not water.

Laughing the doctor said she would get him a soda and was back almost right away with a can of Pepsi. Everything Jordon had said she had recorded and looking at her watch said, "We have done a lot of work this afternoon Jordon but it is getting late and I have a husband and two hungry teenage boys who will be starving, waiting for their mother to come home and cook so I will go, but with your permission I will be back tomorrow morning to talk some more to you if that is all right with you?"

"Certainly W err Winnie, I suppose I'll still be in here but if I do get to go back to my sister's I will get Damien to let you know."

"Thank you that would be good and a word of advice listen to what Damien and Bentley tell you, they are two very caring and wonderful young men who worry about young people like yourself who are troubled by their sexuality. Believe me, both of them have been down the same path as you." After she had left, Jordon was left alone to his own thoughts and he began thinking back at everything he had told Dr. Evans.

He thought to himself how he felt so much better telling her everything, missing nothing out even his internet relationship, if you could call it that, with Miles. He then thought about what Miles had told him last night about his new found lover in Texas and realized that the relationship he had with him was doomed from the start because of the distance and age difference.

He began to gently cry as he thought how stupid he had been to even think about talking his life. Maybe he should just come out to everyone and fuck the consequences. If Miles takes someone closer to his age so be it, he was stupid to think that he had any chance with him.

He was still crying quietly when Veronica and Eddie came back in to see him, "What's the matter Jordon what's happened. Did Dr. Evans upset you?"

Shaking his head, Jordon told his sister how good it felt talking to the Dr. and what a lovely lady she was. "Then why the tears Jordon?" He went on to tell her all about Miles and how they fell for each other after a fashion on the internet and then how his Texan boyfriend found someone local.

"Oh you poor boy, why didn't you tell us about this earlier, even last night after you had spoken to him. In future I want you to realise little brother that you can tell us anything you like and we hope you do so, if we can help you we will. I love you Jordon you're my brother we're family and that includes Eddie as well and don't forget that."

She hugged Jordon to her chest calming his tears. "Thanks Sis I don't know what I would do without your help. I love you and Eddie. I'd love to come and live with you permanently and go to school here."

"If that is what you want I'm sure we could work something out, but what about mom and dad? They are going to wonder what's going on and Eddie and I have been talking and think that you should tell mom everything. I don't think she will tell your father, she is far more sensible than that."

"I suppose your right but I'm scared what she might think of me, she might regard me as a freak or something and not want any more to do with me."

"Come on Jordon, we're talking about our mother here and you know perfectly well she loves us both and would not to do anything like that. She will understand and love you just the same as she as always done maybe even more."

"I'll sleep on it tonight Sis and maybe talk to Dr. Evans about it tomorrow and see what she says." He was silent for a while lost in his own thoughts before continuing, "I haven't seen a doctor all day since I came up from surgery do you have any idea what's happening?"

"He came on his rounds when you were talking to Dr. Evans so didn't come in, but he did speak to us as we walked back in. He said if you have a stable night with no problems, they will take the drip out in the morning, check your dressings and you should be coming home later in the day."

"That's good. If I leave before Dr. Evans has been back we have to let Damien know so he can tell her and she'll come round to the house."

"It looks like you won't be back in Headland Valley in time for school on Monday so we should tell our mother something tonight giving her advance notice, any ideas?"

All three of them were silent as they thought what they should tell his mom so she wouldn't worry when he's not back for school on Monday. Eddie finally came up with a suggestion, "For now until you've talked it over with the doctor and maybe even Damien and Bentley we could just say that you tripped and badly sprained your wrist." Both of the others agreed that excuse would do for now.

Miles and Keith laid back on the queen size bed close to each other with their bodies touching, wallowing in the afterglow of more than two hours of great sex. Leaning on one elbow Keith looked into Miles eyes saying, "I've fallen head over heels in love with you Miles."

Smiling Miles replied, "I can assure you Keith the feeling is mutual." They leaned in and kissed each other gently before exhaustion overtook them and they fell asleep.

Going to sleep like that was a big mistake because it was over two hours later and the sun was going down when they were awakened by both of their cell phone's going off at the same time.

Looking at his watch Miles panicked when he noticed how late it was, "Shit look at the time I bet that's our mothers calling wondering were in the hell we are." They both answered the phones and yes it was their mothers who they should have picked up and taken home over an hour ago.

Keith quickly threw some clothes after telling his mother to hang for a minute before he dashed outside so that neither of their respective parents would hear the other voice in the background, "Hi mom, sorry I was supposed to call you but got busy. I know it's my day off but I got called into work because of an emergency but I'm free now and will be there in about forty five minutes."

The yelling that he could hear on the other end meant that his mom was not impressed, "I said I was sorry but as a law enforcement officer when things happen we have to be there and don't always have time to think about anything else." That calmed his mother down a bit as she told her son not to bother to pick her up from her church because the Pastor was going to give her a lift home and she would see him when he finally arrived home. The last bit was loaded with sarcasm.

While he was taking to his mom Miles was frantically trying to think of an excuse to give his mom. It was all right for Keith he could use his job as an excuse, but being out of work he had to think harder, "Sorry mom I went chasing a job and the car broke down in an area were my cell had no signal so I couldn't let you know. Luckily a Texas Ranger was passing by and he helped me out giving me a lift for which I am very grateful." Just as he was saying this Keith walked back in and couldn't help but laugh at what his lover had just said.

Signalling for Keith to be quiet Miles continued talking to his mom, "yes I was lucky mom to get a friendly cop, there not all as good as this one." This time Keith had to stuff a pillow from the bed into his mouth to stop himself from bursting out laughing.

"No mom the cars fine now it wasn't anything major and I should be home in about an hour; yes I'll be sure to thank the kind police officer. No mom I don't think they're allowed to take tips although I would certainly like to give him one." That did it, Miles had to disconnect the call very quickly as the both began rolling on the bed laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh lover, if only she knew the kind of tip I did get today." Keith remarked as he gave Miles a big passionate kiss. This led to more making out which was cut short because it was almost dark now and they had a few miles to go to get home.

"I love you so much Keith, I wish we could be together permanently but for both of us that is impossible right now." Keith agreed with Miles as they both got dressed before straightening the bed and tidying up the caravan so that no one would have guessed they had been there.

They kissed and hugged once more before climbing into their cars for the journey home. The words I love you were the last ones on both of their lips as they headed down the dirt track and onto the main highway.

When Veronica phoned her mom that evening to tell her Jordon wouldn't be coming back for a couple of days and told her about the badly sprained wrist which at first they thought was broken their mother was all for flying down straight away to check on her son, but Veronica soon assured her that wasn't necessary, "Mom in the end it wasn't all that bad it's just that they want to take another X ray tomorrow just to make sure."

This calmed Jennifer Foster down considerably and she accepted the fact that it would be a waste of time and money to rush down to see him. "Don't worry mom he should be home in the next couple of days, and instead of us driving all that way, we'll put him on a flight to Saskatoon and then you or dad can meet him or for that matter he can catch the bus."

"Just tell me what the flight details are and I'll be there to pick him up from the airport." Veronica remarked to Eddie, after she had hung up, that it was so easy to lie, something she had never ever done to her mother before.

Jordon had his IV drip taken out right after breakfast and when the doctor came around not long after he told him he could go home. Before he left the room he sat on the edge of the bed and spoke quietly to Jordon, "I realize what you did was an act of desperation, but please do not try it again will you promise me that?"

Jordon nodded his head telling the doctor that it would never happen again, "Good, it is difficult for people like yourself growing up in this day and age being bullied and persecuted by others who know no better. I have a son your age who is gay and I worry constantly that he will resort to what you did yesterday morning. For him school is hell which I am sure it is for you and as parents we can only be there for him some of the time. My job means I work long hours and my wife is a nurse, so it is difficult for us to be there for him all the time. My son is also under Dr. Winifred Evans wing and she has worked wonders with him. Listen closely to what she tells you and you will find it easier to cope."

Jordon began to feel much better after the doctor finished talking to him shook his hand wishing good luck. He was still contemplating what the doctor had said when Eddie came to take him home, "Veronica had to go into work so you're stuck with me."

Grinning Jordon said that was ok because he really liked his sister's boyfriend very much, "Did you call Damien to tell him that I was going back to your place? He was going to tell Dr. Evans so she could come round to see me."

"Yes Jordon that's all been taken care of and the doctor will be there in about three hours' time."

When they arrived back home Eddie got Jordon some lunch before settling him down in an easy chair to rest up some more. He was still a bit shaky and pale from the loss of blood and the doctor told him to take things easy for a couple of days.

Meanwhile Damien and Bentley were having a discussion which was getting a little bit heated, "I don't think transferring Jordon to The Triangle program and our school here in Toronto is a good thing Bentley."

"Why ever not? He is going to have more and more problems where he's living and we could have a repeat of what happened yesterday and because of the isolation, the result could be more terminal. This guy is suffering and you're going to deprive him of the opportunity of living and learning with others like him, yet you're going to send him back to that desolate place he calls home. Come on Damien what's the matter with you, help the poor kid."

"I keep telling you the environment within the Triangle school wouldn't work with Jordon. He is still too far in the closet, unsure of himself while all those at Triangle are well and truly out some too far out, so no, at this stage Jordon should never be added to the program."

"Honey I think your wrong on this and another suicide attempt could be on the cards if things continue as they are."

"Bentley you're being so fucking dumb and stupid here. If I didn't know you better I'd say you wanted him to screw you and that would never be because he's a bottom and not interested in having another bottom."

"You can be such a bitch sometimes Damien and say some hurtful things. You know perfectly well my ass is yours and yours alone. No one else will ever touch it." By the time he'd finished saying that the tears were flowing. His lover moved over to hold him, Sorry Bentley I shouldn't have said that. I love you so much, but at times you don't think things out like you should."

They began to kiss and cling to each other as Damien led him towards the bedroom.

Dr. Evans arrived and settled down with Jordon to continue their chat, "It's good to see you home or at least at your sisters Jordon and I hope you are feeling better?"

"Thank you Winnie I feel good right now, a bit tired but good."

"I went through what we talked about yesterday and have a little bit of advice for you. You are at the moment trapped in a hostile environment, and I'm stating the obvious here because you are already aware of that." She paused as Jordon nodded in agreement.

Damien and Bentley spoke to me earlier and Bentley suggested the Triangle school while Damien was opposed to it and I'm inclined to go with Damien on this because I believe you are not ready for that type of environment. She paused again noting the disappointment on Jordon's face.

"What I would like you to do before you go back to Headland Valley is let Damien take you on a tour of the school, meet some of those attending and after you have explored that environment I think you will change your mind."

Just as she finished that sentence Edie came in to see if they would like some refreshments. Winnie opted for tea and Jordon a soda. Once he had left to get the drinks the doctor continued, "I can understand why you are worried about your situation Jordon and it is easy for me and others to say you should try and cope with it. That is not going to help you any. I think you should consider telling your mother about your sexuality. We mothers can be very sympathetic and understanding in these matters just as your sister was when you confided in her.

Might I suggest if you are nervous about `coming out' to your mother, that your sister is there to give you moral support. With regards to your father I can see that he could be violent regarding this subject. Like so many people brought up in a sheltered environment in a close knit rural region like you live in, it would be difficult for him to understand your sexuality and he could become angry and even violent.

Discuss this with your mother and sister and tread carefully. This also applies to the community as a whole. The ratio of homosexuals to heterosexuals would be far less in your region than in say a bigger city like Toronto. Minority groups are inclined to settle closer together in larger communities.

I daresay I'm boring you with a lot of what I am saying but it is all relevant and important. If you decide to live with your sister, which I believe is an option and go to a regular high school here in Port Hope, then there is every chance that you will fit in well with your fellow pupils."

She paused to take a sip of the tea which Eddie had brought in, "To continue, this is a lot for you to absorb right now and your head must be spinning, but one more point which worried me when you mentioned it, was your internet relationship with a much older man.

While it appears that Miles, I think you said his name was, is a sensible man who by the sound of it is not leading you up the path intending to seduce you or anything like that. He was also the one who tipped you over the edge when he told you that he had found someone his own age to enter into a relationship with. You became infatuated by this guy because of the age difference. Be friends with him by all means but just keep remembering the age difference and how nigh on impossible it will be for you to have a physical relationship with him no matter how much you yearn for one.

Jordon before I go I will leave you my card and if you feel you need to talk to me at any time day or night please do. Far too many young men like you are taking drastic measures which on occasions are resulting in the loss of life. The last thing myself and all your friends want are for you to become a statistic."

Evans rose out of her chair walking over to Jordon to give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, before making sure that he had her card with her contact details on it. Just as she was leaving she reminded Jordon of a couple of things, "Don't forget Damien is taking you on a visit to his school and remember Damien and Bentley will also always be there for you to help and support anyway they can."

This time it was Jordon who went over to hug the doctor as she began to leave.

After dinner with his mother who wasn't in a very good mood because he wasn't there to pick her up, Miles excused himself. In his bedroom, he powered up his computer hoping to find Jordon on line but instead found only Fred who had some devastating bad news for him, "I had a Facebook message from a guy I know at the Triangle school in Toronto and he tells me that a guy called Jordon tried slashing his wrists early yesterday morning, I don't know any other details than that."

He couldn't help it, Miles burst into tears at that news and signed off from Skype and Fred as quickly as he could. He just sat there bawling his eyes out because he knew deep down that he was responsible, all because he told Jordon about Keith.

Just then the phone rang and he quickly picked it up in case it woke his mother, "Hello?" He answered tentatively. "Hi Miles, you sound a bit down lover what's happening?"

Beginning to cry again Miles told Keith all about Jordon including his attempted suicide which he kept repeating over and over that it was his fault, "Oh Miles I wish you had told me all this earlier and maybe we could have worked out a better way to tell this young Canadian. I remember when he ran away from home it was because of his love for you."

"What am I going to do about him Keith? I can't just ignore him, I feel obliged to talk to him and still be his friend and deep down I love him. The age difference and the distance as well make it impossible for any relationship we might have had before I met you Keith. It would have been impossible anyway. He's a great kid with an infectious smile and that is what attracted me to him."

"Maybe we can get a conference call going and we can both talk to him together and make him our friend showing that while we are together we still both love him but making sure that he understands our relationship with him can never go beyond chatting on the internet."

After talking to Keith, Miles felt a bit better but deep down he still blamed himself for what had happened to Jordon. Changing the subject they both commented on how wonderful their day had been and Keith then said, "I have three days off coming up soon any ideas on how we can get away?"

"Not really, I will have to think about it and see what excuse I can come up with. What about you and your mother, can you see yourself getting away at all?"

"It's possible, I have a brother who lives in another state and I could tell mom I am going to stay with him for a couple of days. He knows I'm gay so he would cover up for me."

Miles was silent for a while, racking his brains trying to think of an excuse to get away but nothing came to mind. "It's not going to be quite so easy for me but I'll try and think of something. When are your days off?"

"It's in a couple of days' time so we have to think of something quick. Let's talk again tomorrow, I'm supposed to be in the office all day catching up on paperwork so I will be able to give you a call about midday, is that ok?"

Both agreed that would be wonderful, and after declaring their love for each other, they called it a night. Miles was still fretting over Jordon and blaming himself for all that has happened. Finally he went to bed still thinking about his young Canadian friend and what he could do to help him.

Early next morning, Damien picked Jordon up to take him to have a look at the Triangle School in downtown Toronto. It took about forty minutes to get there and along the way Damien chatted with Jordon mainly about him coming out to his mother.

"To be honest with you Damien, I'm terrified about talking to my mom about this. I'm sure she won't approve."

"Jordon I think you will be mildly surprised just how well she will take it and your sister will be on the end of the phone giving you all the support you need."

Jordon nodded his head in agreement just as they arrive at the school which was housed in an old church building donated for the purpose. "Don't expect anything flash my friend. Our budget is minimal but the staff and students make up for it in enthusiasm."

They went into a big room where about a dozen kids of all ages from sixteen to twenty two were busy on projects or simply reading books. Most of them had t- shirts with gay messages on them along with torn jeans and sandals. The whole place reeked of sweaty bodies. A couple of young guys or girls it was hard to tell which, were dressed in `tatty' female outfits and far too much make-up.

"Hi gang, I'd like you to meet Jordon from Saskatchewan who's come along to check us out."

One of the guys stood up turned around and was about to drop his jeans when Damien continued, "No Jamie not that kind of checking, so put your pants back on." Damien whispered to Jordon, "As you can see they are far more out or should I say outrageous than you are buddy, which is why I think you won't fit in here. Maybe as you get older and more comfortable being out, you might be suitable for this school but not now. I hope you can see what I'm getting at Jordon?"

After thinking everything through for a while Jordon answered with just a hint of disappointment in his voice, "I can see what you're getting at Damien and none of these kids are anywhere like I am in fact I never realized such way out people existed."

"I wish you could have met the guy who is going for the change of sex operation and talk to him. Now he is a sad case and has been bullied and abused all his school-life, and I don't think it will get any better for him when he has the operation. We are all born different Jordon and we have to try to cope with our differences. Other people don't understand and I don't think they will start within our generation. Now I'll leave you to wander round and have a chat with some of the guys and girls for a few minutes before I take you to the airport to catch your flight home."

Jordon only had about twenty minutes to chat to a couple of guys. One of them, he never did find out his name he was really attracted to. He was blond, more or less the same age as he was and really cute, with a smile that matched his own. When Damien came to get him to go to the airport both guys were disappointed, "It's a pity we didn't have a bit longer and got to know each other better." The guy whispered to him as he left.

"Looks like you could have picked up a boyfriend there Jordon." Blushing Jordon agreed as Damien continued, "He hasn't been with us long and is a quite kid but seems nice enough."

At the airport he didn't have long to wait for his flight and saying goodbye to Damien was the same as when he left his sisters earlier this morning, a few tears, hugs and thankyou's. The same happened with Damien with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek," don't forget Jordon, if anything happens or you just want someone to talk to give me a call. We love you dearly Jordon and want you safe and remember none of that stupid business of trying to end it all."

He promised telling Damien that all was behind him and he felt that he could face his demons better than he could before. The flight was long and tedious but they arrive in Saskatchewan on time and true to form his mom was waiting for him with an anxious look on her face. She hugged him tightly tears in her eyes almost as if she suspected the sprained wrist was an excuse, "Are you going to tell me the real truth of what happened Jordon?"

Jordon looked at her with as tunned look on his face wondering how on earth she knew there was more to it than meets the eye, "Don't worry, us mom's know when we're being lied to." She remarked with a laugh.

"I'd rather wait till we get home and Veronica is on the phone to help me explain if that's all right with you mom?"

"Of course son, safety in numbers is it? Well I can wait but right now let's go and have a late lunch before we head for home. They found a nice restaurant and had a great meal before heading off for the two hour or so journey back to Headland Valley.

The minute they arrived home Betsy from next door came running over to see Jordon, Once she saw the bandage on his wrist she wanted to know everything, "Oh Jordon what did you do?"

"Nothing much, I tripped and badly sprained my wrist and at first they thought I had broken it but it is improving all the time."

"Oh my poor Jordon here let me kiss it better." He began to pull away but wasn't quick enough and Betsy grabbed his hand just a little bit too hard right were the stitches were hidden by the bandages, he yelled out as the pain brought tears to his eyes.

"Oh my goodness I'm sorry Jordon I didn't realize that it was so sore."

His mother answered just as the phone began to ring, "That's all right Betsy you weren't to know. That will be my daughter on the phone and we are going to have a family conference so if you will excuse us?" Betsy kissed Jordon on the cheek before leaving telling him that she will see him in the morning.

Once Betsy had gone, Jennifer, Jordon's mom put the phone on conference call so that all three of them could hear what was being said. After the usual greeting, remarks about the trip and the weather they got down to the reason behind the conference call.

"Mom, Jordon as something to tell you, something very important and believe me mom we think it is best if it is kept from dad, ok?"

Looking puzzled and at the same time worried Jennifer said that was ok. Veronica continued the story, "As I suppose you have guessed Jordon has been having problems at school due to bullying, which is why he ran away the first time, plus he didn't sprain his wrist, but I'll let Jordon carry on from here and if he gets upset or confused I'll step in and help him."

That made Jennifer even more worried and confused as she looked towards Jordon who was blushing a deep red and not sure where to start. "Jordon? I suggest you come right out and tell you mom about the main subject and explain the wrist after." This was Eddie butting in.

"Ok Eddie," Jordon said as he paused to gather his thoughts, "Mom there is no easy way to say this, I'm gay, a homosexual and there is nothing I can do about it. I was born this way and I'll die this way."

His mother looked at him with a quizzical look on her face then smiled slightly, "I think son I have known this for a couple of years now. You see you're my son, I gave birth to you and moms develop an instinct for this kind of thing. I am happy that you have finally come out with it and told me so that I can help and support you."

Tears began to form and they both moved to hug each other and remained in an embrace until an anxious sounding Veronica said, "Is everything all right up there?"

"Yes Veronica I'm sorry that we couldn't include you but we had a little group hug so you and Eddie have one there."

"We already have mom." And one could tell by the tone of her voice that tears were flowing down in Port Hope as well.

"While you and Jordon are getting over what has just been said I will fill you in with a few more bits of information, but I will leave the other important bit to you to tell mom." Veronica went on to tell her mom all about Damien, Bentley and Dr. Evans, also including the gay school in Toronto. She also made a passing mention about his contacts on the internet but didn't go into any detail, "Now little brother, explain to your mother what happened to your wrist."

I'm so sorry mom but I did something stupid which will never ever happen again I promise you." He began sobbing uncontrollably in his mother's arms. Everyone waited patiently until he had control of his emotions once more and was able to continue, "Two nights ago I began thinking about everything, all that had happened to me and how hopeless it looked and I'm sorry mom but early the next morning I went into the bathroom found a pair of scissors got into the bath so that I wouldn't leave Veronica and Eddie a lot of mess." This brought a gasp and sobbing from his sister as he continued,

"Again I'm so sorry mom but I cut my wrist deciding that I couldn't cope anymore and didn't want to be a burden to you and my sister anymore." He broke down and just couldn't continue but just lay in his mother's arms just like he used to when he was a baby.

Eddie decided he had better fill in his future mother-in-law with what happened after that. He explained that he was unconscious when they found him he was rushed to hospital and it wasn't quite as bad as it looked. The doctors were wonderful and we called Damien and Bradley who organized Dr. Evans to council Jordon.

He left it at that so all the family could absorb what happened. Everyone was left with their own thoughts. Jennifer finally spoke after what seemed like ten minutes of silence, Jordon I love you dearly and I wish you had come to me earlier so we could work this thing out together.

Remember you will always have me and your sister to help and support you, plus your two friends in Toronto sound like great people who will also help you any way they can."

There were murmurs of agreement from down the line in Port Hope. Jordon asked the one question he had been avoiding since the conversation began, "What about dad? He is so anti-gay and redneck, while he is my father and I love him, I shudder to think what might happen if he finds out."

"I agree with you son and for the time being we'll hold off on telling him and I'll think some more about how we handle him. In the meantime I think it's time for supper.

My darling daughter and of course Eddie thank you for saving my sons life I love you both dearly." She paused to take control of her emotions, "I wish you lived closer, but that can't be we all have to go where the jobs are. Take care you two, love you dearly."

Just as she was about to break the call Jordon said stop that he wanted to say something more, "You are the best sister the best guy Eddie anyone could have. If it wasn't for you two I wouldn't be here right now. I will never be able to repay you for what you did." He tried to continue but was getting all choked up again so after saying goodbye again his mom ended the call.

Jordon was still in her arms until she finally sat him down the sofa saying that she had better get supper ready.

"I think I'd better give Damien and Bentley a call to let them know what happened if that's ok with you mom?"

"Sure son and when you've finished give me a holler because I would also like to thank them."

He dialled the number and got Damien who told him to hang on so he could get Bentley on the extension. Once he was listening Damien said, "Well buddy I hope you have some good news for us?"

"Yes, mom was wonderful said she already knew was just waiting for me to tell her. We all cried a lot and hugged especially when I told her about my wrist."

"I'm so happy for you Jordon." said Bentley, "I'll let Damien take over the conversation before I start crying."

Damien came back on the line laughing, "He's a real softy cries at anything and everything. Anyway lets down to the nitty gritty of what happened."

"Well, as I said mom was happy that I'd finally told her everything, but of course very upset that I tried to end it all, the main point is that for now we don't tell dad which means that the news can only stay in the family because if it gets out at school dad is sure to find out.

The other thing that is really worrying me is that Betsy might still want me to have sex with her which I'm dreading."

"That's no problem buddy just think that you're up someone's ass you really fancy and go for it, but not up her ass of course." Everybody laughed very loudly just as Jordon's mom came into the room, "Well it good to see that beautiful smile on your face again son, it's been a while."

"Thanks mom, hang on Damien and Bentley mom wants to have a word with you."

"Damien and Bentley is it? I'd just like to thank you both for everything you have done for Jordon. It's quite possible he wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you guys and I can't really put into words what I want to say by way of thanks you are both saints and I, well we thank you so much."

You could tell that Bentley as always was tearing leaving it up to Damien to answer, "Thank you Mrs. Foster w.."

"Please it's Jennifer."

"Ok, Jennifer, what we did was help a likeminded person out of a tight spot and as people who are classed as queers or faggots we need to always look out for each other. With Jordon it's going to be so much harder because of the isolation but we are only a phone call away and his sister and Eddie are always there as support as well.

It won't be easy and there will be some tough times ahead but we're sure he will make it if we all pull together and help each other."

"Thank you Damien, I know it's a long way to travel from Toronto but we would love to have you come on a visit again and stay this time."

"Thank you for invitation Mrs. err Jennifer we'd love that wouldn't we Bentley?"

"We certainly would just as long as I can try my culinary skills on you one night, cooking for Damien is great but his comments on my cooking leave a lot to be desired." He said with a laugh.

Jennifer said thanks one more time before handing the phone back to Jordon telling him supper was almost ready, The only other thing worrying me right now, and mom knows nothing about this, is my friendship with Miles, I haven't spoken to him for a few days and the last time I was rude and feeling hurt because he'd found himself a boyfriend and I shouldn't have said the things I did. I should have been so happy for him."

"I don't know Miles but I'm sure that he is more worried about you right now, so after supper fire up your computer and see if you can track him down on Skype. Talk to him tell him everything about what happened and I`m pretty sure he will tell you what's happening to him. Then you will both kiss and make up long distance that is and be best buddies again."

"Thank you guys I'd don't know what I would do without you and I love the both of you mentally that is not physically." All three laughed before saying their goodbyes and Jordon headed towards the bathroom to wash up and have supper.

Miles had been on Skype, Facebook and Twitter searching for Jordon but to no avail. He was almost ready to call it a night when Skype came to life telling him that Jordon was calling him. He quickly answered and they were both silent for a few minutes looking at each other and not talking. Finally Miles spoke, "Jordon what's been happening I've been hearing all sorts of stories about you and how you nearly died on the operating table. I have been going frantic with worry when Fred told me all this stuff which he'd heard on Facebook."

"Believe me Miles it wasn't as bad as that, but I did do something fucking stupid." He then went on to tell Miles everything, missing nothing out even to the point about coming out to his mom.

"How did Fred get to know so much so quickly?"

"Apparently he chats a fair bit with a couple of the boys from the school and they knew all about it from your friend Damien I guess."

There was silence for a while before Jordon spoke first this time, "And are you going to tell me all about your new boyfriend, and I promise I won't get upset, what's he like?"

Not sure if he should tell Jordon all about Keith, he hesitated for a while before continuing, "I think I'd already told you a fair bit about him and I think we're falling in love." He went on just like Jordon had, leaving nothing out except for the sordid sexual details, even down to the chance of a short holiday together next week if he can get away.

"Are you sure you're all right with this Jordon?"

"Yes I'm cool and I'm very happy for the both of you, there's just one thing?"

"And what's that my dear Jordon?"

"Will you still be my long distance boyfriend for now? I get so lonely for someone of my own sexuality to talk to?"

"Of course I will Jordon I still have very strong feelings for you but I know our relationship can't go anywhere because of our ages, and I'm sure Keith would like to join us when he can. You'll like him, he has a smile just like yours which makes your body melt and cock get hard."

They both laughed at that remark from Miles as they began to wind down their conversation for the night promising to get back together tomorrow night.

"Goodnight Miles, I love you."

"And I love you too Jordon." Miles said before he quickly disconnected the call before his young friend could see the tears forming. Miles sat in front of the blank screen for some time thinking about Jordon and picturing his smile. While he was well and truly in love with Keith he had an even deeper affection and feelings for Jordon, which he hoped wouldn't upset his chances of making a go of it with his favourite Texas Ranger.

Finally he took a shower before heading for bed.

Next morning Jordon was still feeling very worried about going back to school. During the night he woke a couple of times bothered by a sudden stab of pain in his wrist. After breakfast his mother changed the dressing and let out a gasp when she saw how deep the wound was, but she didn't say anything.

His mother left for the school before him and just as he was closing the door he felt someone behind him, looking around he saw Betsy heading up the path. Without saying a word she grabbed Jordon kissing him fully on the lips while brushing her body up against him.

"Although you've been away, the Redneck hockey are still gunning for you, but don't forget I'm you alibi."

Jordon groaned inwardly. He had hoped that she might have forgotten the deal she made but no, she must have been thinking about it all the time he was away. "Betsy what if I was to say to you that I don't want that kind of relationship with you what would happen?"

"I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when school is finished today, because ..."

To Be Continued.

Writers Corner:

Well this chapter was devoted more or less to Jordon and what a lot of things happened to him over those few days. The good news was that he was saved from making that final step to end it all. I wish all attempted gay youth suicides could end as happy as this one did but sadly this is fiction.

He quickly realized that he had a lot of good friends around him who really care for him and love him. His sister, her boyfriend Eddie and of course the dynamic duo Damian and Bentley who are dedicating their lives to help young gay's survive in this cruel world.

The biggest surprise of all was his mother or was it? I was terrified when the time came for Derek and I to come out to our parents and have you noticed we always go to our moms first and I know my mom shocked me when she said she had guessed that I was gay almost two years earlier, with a similar reaction from my boyfriend's mom.

Toronto's Winifred Evans is a marvellous woman and is based on a real person. I expect most of you have also realized by now that the Triangle Program in Toronto really does exist and despite funding difficulties struggles along providing education in a safe environment for some of the cities LGBT young people.

All these dedicated people and organizations are doing what they can to help young people with sexuality problems.

Anyway I'm getting off course so let's get back to the chapter and Miles who looks as if he has found the man of his dreams. Let's just hope that the Texas bible belt doesn't find out otherwise Keith will be posted out somewhere else quick smart.

Will they be able to get away for a few days alone together? Looks like we'll have to wait and see, and while Jordon appears to have accepted the relationship. Has he? Jordon is deeply in love with Miles and Miles also has a lot of affection for this young Cannuck. Will this come between Miles and Keith or Jordon and him?

Now we come to Betsy a pretty mean piece of work if you ask me who is determined to get Jordon into bed and if he won't cooperate she will feed him to the redneck wolves.

The other troubling thought is Jordon's father, who is sure to find out that his son his gay any time soon and then the proverbial will hit the fan. I just hope and pray that Jordon doesn't get hurt in any way because he does not deserve it.

Finally an apology for the late posting of this story. Both Jacob and I really needed a rest and break but then to cap it all I spent one day last week spending several hours in hospital. I am on the road to recovery right now but it wasn't a very nice experience.

I'll leave the rest of the comments to my editors and once ask you to let us know how we are doing?

Hugs

Trevor

Supertev699@hotmail.com

Check out all of mine and JPG's stories at http://jacobmilertex.com

Editor Kent's Corner:

An action-packed chapter for sure. Over my half-century as an educator, I have had to deal with several attempted and some successful suicides so this chapter brought back many memories.

I'm so glad that Jordan is finding so many others who are a part of his growing support system. While his father is not on that list at the moment, I am NOT giving up on him. I have seen some very unexpected positive turn-arounds. So I am hoping he may be another one.

Betsy may be in need of some religion---if not her own, some views attributed to her. Seriously, a tactic to use publically against her is to let others know that he (Jordan) is so wanting to protect her reputation among peers and adults that he is sacrificing his own physical desires in order to preserve her purity, faith, and pubic reputation. Let her publically zap herself against that!!! Who knows, it might work.

Editor Kent D. (Kent D. at: yagoh2@aol.com )

Editor Jack's Corner:

Oh my gosh, what a chapter! Jordan has really gone through the meat grinder and thankfully has come out with small wounds, one on his wrist, and the others in his psyche. Teen suicide is a huge problem in our society and in whatever way we can, we must all try to help those in need. Being gay is only one of many reasons teens take such drastic actions. Everyone, please reach out to any person regardless of age, who needs help. It is not always easy to see the signs, so please educate yourselves so you know what to look for. If you could only help one person, it would be worth all the time and effort.

Now to my summary. Jordan has thankfully survived and learned that there are a number of folks who really love him. Not only his mother, his sister and her boyfriend, but Damien and Bentley as well as Miles and Keith are family and friends he can turn to. I only hope that his dad will eventually be among this group, but somehow, I seriously doubt it will ever happen.

I think now that Jordan has come out to his mother, she will realize that he really should be with his sister in a larger community setting that is more open to alternate lifestyles. I agree that he should be enrolled in a regular school for now until he is more comfortable in his own skin before there is any thought to becoming part of the Triangle Program.

Now as for that skanky bitch Betsy, I think she will cause a lot of trouble and in her own way, will hasten the decision for Jordan to move in with Veronica and Eddie. Trevor left us with another cliffhanger involving Betsy so we will just have to wait as see what develops.

Please share your comments, we all love to hear from you. Remember Trevor has been ill, so please join me in wishing him a full speedy recovery. I know he is on the mend, but send your love anyway, it's the only payment of any kind he receives. Additionally, I hope you are keeping up with Jacob's stories, lots happening in El Paso and Austin too.

Huggs to everyone,

Jack

jack@jacobmillertex.com

Next: Chapter 4


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