Lifes Illusions

By Allan Brettell

Published on Mar 17, 2016

Gay

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Life's Illusions - 10 years on - Chapter 28

At Chateau Beauchene Beth had fed and changed Junior, the most recent edition to their family, they all found it funny that despite a lot of discussion, Junior still didn't have a name.

She and Dave freely admitted, they couldn't agree, they'd come close to agreeing on Robbie in honour of Dave's father, but yet again they vetoed the idea, whatever name either suggested, the other would give a shake of the head, and yet another suggestion hit the scrap heap.

For weeks now Beth had felt uncomfortable in herself, not unwell, just really uncomfortable, there had been an aching, it had worsened, now it was a pain, sometimes really sharp, it came and went, she felt as if there should be something wrong with her, but she knew there wasn't, it was a peculiar feeling and it had been getting worse these last few days, the pain was much sharper today.

When Pete, Jaque and their tribe came to visit with Lenny and PJ in tow, reality struck Beth like a hammer blow.

Pete mentioned his feeling uncomfortable, sharp pains which didn't make sense, sometimes they were really strong, today they were really sharp, but he'd seen his doctors, they'd done tests, there was nothing wrong, nothing to explain them, not knowing Beth felt the same.

At that very moment Beth knew.

"It's Pauly, he's ill, my god why didn't I realise, it had to be one of you, I need to speak to him".

It was PJ who stopped her, looking to Lenny who nodded her head.

"Pauly's been ill for a while Beth, he was diagnosed with cancer, he's been undergoing really strict treatment for several months, he swore us to secrecy, he didn't want any of you to worry, he tells us the treatment's working, we spoke with him on Skype yesterday, we have to respect his wishes Beth".

Beth was now openly sobbing, being supported by Dave, then her head snapped up.

"No, that's typical Pauly, dealing with it alone, well not this time, I can feel his pain, whatever he's saying, he's not telling you the truth, this is really serious, he's not alright, his condition is getting worse, I'm heading for Torremolinas as soon as you can get the plane refuelled, what about you Pete?".

Pete agreed.

"Beth's right Poppa, I feel his pain as well, if Pauly's saying it's alright he's lying to you, this is not alright, I'm really frightened, his pain is getting worse, I'm going too".

For PJ and Lenny, their son and daughters statements held an ominous and chilling warning, they knew first hand how close all three were, if Beth and Pete felt this it didn't bode well.

Within a matter of two hours the Chateau's Montclair and Beauchene were almost empty.

At Beauchene, Rob and Dianne Morton, Dave's parents, stayed behind to run the business, at Montclair, Marion Albright stayed behind, she was in her eighties now, traveling was no easy matter.

In Malaga Reece was sitting in Pauly's private room, holding his daughter.

Yesterday had been a day of joy, Pauly had been the court jester, laughing and joking, back to his old self, he'd talked to the boys in Germany and to his Parents at Montclair by Skype, then insisted Reece take him out into the sunshine.

They'd toured around the gardens, before sitting together under an arbor, Pauly relaxing back against Reece, Reece's arms encircling him.

Pauly's words still rang in Reece's ears.

"You need to be prepared love, I think this is the lull before the storm, I know I'm not getting better, I think the end might be close now".

Reece had made to protest but Pauly had shushed him.

"I should have died a long time ago Reece, you saved me, I've had all these years with you as a bonus really, wonderful, idyllic years where I never once doubted I was loved by you, the years with our children, I love you Reece, I have ever since that first day in the classroom".

Pauly had paused.

"I don't know what comes after this, I hope I get to wait for you, I'd like to think we can have this again some day, but I'm practical, I don't think there is anything, it's just the end".

Reece was still holding him as Pauly paused again.

"I need you to promise me some things Reece and I don't want you to be upset about what I ask, but they're promises I expect you to keep".

For the first time since they'd sat down Reece spoke.

"What is it love, what do you want me to promise, you already know I'll do anything for you, you only have to ask".

Pauly hesitated, he had to put it gently.

"There are a couple of things, well three actually, but they're not about me, well not really, they're about you, I need to know you'll agree, so I can go in peace, don't be angry when I ask you".

Reece was confused.

"Pauly, when have I ever been angry with you?, now tell me what it is you want".

Pauly took a deep breath.

"I want you to promise you won't deliberately try to follow me".

There was a silence.

Reece didn't answer, he couldn't, it was as if Pauly were reading his mind, he couldn't imagine a future without Pauly.

"You have to answer me Reece, it's important, I want to be sure you'll live out your life as you were meant to, live life for both of us, be there for the children, experience as much as you can, please Reece".

When Reece spoke his voice was shaky.

"I promise Pauly, I'll live life for us both, for as long as my natural time on earth may be, I won't try to shorten my time, I'll look out for our children as we always have, but I don't know how I'll be able to bear it without you my love".

Pauly breathed a sigh of relief, one down.

"The next is me being a little paranoid, I have this idea that you'll become a sort of recluse, never leaving the villa, I want you to promise me, after three months you'll accept invitations to whatever comes up, I need to know that you won't hide yourself away, please Reece this is just as important to me".

This was all proving too much for Reece, he started to sob.

Pauly could feel Reece's body shaking, he couldn't turn and look, he wouldn't have been able to carry on, he just pulled Reece's arms tighter around him.

"Please Reece, I need to know you're going to be alright, I have to be sure, promise me at the very least you'll go to Lanzarote with the children for Christmas, and Montclair in the summer, just that and I know it will be enough to get you started".

"Yes Pauly, I promise you that, Lanzarote and Montclair, okay?".

Again Pauly breathed a sigh of relief.

"One more thing Reece, don't be mad at this please, I want you to promise me, really promise me, if love comes along again you won't turn it down because of me, because of us".

Reece didn't hesitate.

"There won't be another Pauly, my heart will be with you forever, there will never be anyone else".

It was the answer Pauly had expected, but it wasn't the one he wanted so a little trickery was needed.

"I understand Reece, but if you're so sure it won't happen, there's no problem with making me the promise, is there?".

Reece had to admit, it didn't matter about making this promise, he would never allow another man near to him, it would be like he was cheating on Pauly and that was not an option he would ever consider.

"You're right Pauly, I can make that promise because I know it will never happen, there's only ever been you, there will only ever be you, now stop this, I want to enjoy this lovely day with you".

Pauly had his three promises, he could relax now, but one last thing was niggling him.

"I know I said three promises, but there are these last things, they're not promises, would you ask Jaque if my ashes can rest at Montclair, I went there with Aly to visit Stevie, it's a wonderfully peaceful place, I'd be happy there, will you do that for me, it will be a place you and the children can visit if they need to talk, where I can wait for you all?, and there's a letter in my drawer for Aly and Bo, I think I've done it, I'm praying I've done it, it will be my parting gift to them, but mostly for you know who, I've paid for what's needed, tell them I hope it works".

None had suspected, Pauly was acting, the pain was worsening, he'd wanted one last day with Reece, his Reece, his knight in shining armour.

The doctors had been convinced he'd turned a corner, then, that morning, he'd relapsed, he couldn't keep up the facade, the pain had been so bad he'd begged for more medication, then with Reece holding him he'd fallen into a coma.

Pauly looked as if at any moment he would awake, stretch and yawn, but he wouldn't, never again would he open his eyes, never again would Reece hear that beautiful voice.

Reece knew, Pauly was gone, at a little after eleven that morning he'd taken his last breathe and gone forever from this world, the tears wouldn't stop, Reece didn't know what to do, he was in a fog, his beloved Pauly was dead, nothing could have prepared him for this awful sense of loss, this emptiness.

Reece knew he had to pull himself together, Sofia needed him, he called their chauffeur, telling him they would be at the front entrance in a few minutes.

He hardly registered the journey, back home in their villa he settled Sofia whilst he made the two most necessary calls.

His first call was to Number One, PJ and Lenny's aircraft.

They would be in the air, PJ had called him earlier, telling him about Beth and Pete's premonition, about their urgent need to get to Pauly, Ben Caplan answered him.

"He's gone Ben, I need to tell them, I don't know how to do it, I can hardly hold it together, I still have to call the boys in Germany".

In his mid sixties now, Ben Caplan had known Pauly all his life, to Ben it was like losing his own child, the tears coursed down his face.

"You don't need to Reece, I'll do it, but I think Pete and Beth already know, we should be with you shortly, Reece I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say, look after Sofia, I've already sent number three to Cologne, tell the boys it will be at the FBO when they're ready, we'll see you soon".

Ben knew he didn't need to confirm Pauly's passing, the screams and sobbing from the main cabin earlier had been the signal, Beth and Pete had felt it, at the exact moment when Pauly lost his fight for life, they'd both known, the pain stopped, it was replaced by a sense of emptiness, loss, a big part of them was gone, gone forever.

The main cabin was quiet now, quiet save for the sobbing of almost all of its occupants, adults and children alike, they all shared an immense sense of loss.

Stepping into the cabin, with tears streaming down his face, Ben looked at them, addressing Lenny and PJ.

"I'm so sorry, Reece called, Pauly's gone, they're back at the villa, he could hardly speak, I told him we'd go straight there, we'll be down in about twenty minutes, there will be no immigration checks, they've waived us through, the news media know, I didn't think you would want to see anyone, you'll transfer straight into the cars and we'll head to the villa, the Chief of Police has provided an escort for you".

PJ just nodded, he couldn't speak.

Ben went on.

"I hope I did right, I called Billy, sent number two to collect him, he was so distraught, he broke down, I couldn't get any words out of him, I had to speak to Jay, I know you're struggling PJ but you need to call him, I also sent number three to Cologne to collect the boys, I suspect someone will need to have a word with their commanding officer, I'm not sure Reece is up to it right now".

PJ just nodded again.

"Thank you Ben, I will, but right now I can't, when we're at the villa, I'll make whatever calls are needed, just not right now".

Ben returned to the cockpit to make one more call, to Celia, it broke his heart to hear her sobbing, she'd know all of the children since birth, now in her nineties she'd lost Charles earlier in the year.

In Malaga Reece's second call was the most difficult call he'd ever have to make, it was to Josef and Juan, Sofia's brothers, his and Pauly's wonderful sons.

He'd called the Cologne base and been routed to the base commander.

"General, I apologise for having to trouble you but I need urgently to speak with my sons, Sergeants Josef and Juan Caswell-Thorn, their Pop passed away earlier today, I need them to be here, I hope you can allow it, their sister and I need them, there is a plane waiting on them at Cologne FBO".

The Commander knew immediately who he was speaking to, more to the point, he would have ordered a military flight at their disposal if he hadn't heard they had a flight already arranged, so highly were these boys thought of.

"Stay on the line sir, I'm having them brought here whilst we speak, please accept my most sincere condolences, My wife and I know, sorry, we knew Pauly, such a wonderful person, I know my wife will be completely distraught, between you, you did an excellent job of raising two fine men I'm proud to command, it's not just your family who have lost someone today, I believe it's the world as a whole who are the poorer for his passing, with your permission, my wife and I would want to attend his funeral".

The brothers had spoken to their Pops by Skype in his hospital room only the previous afternoon, they'd know, despite his assurances, all was not well, but he was bright, cheerful, he'd looked as if he was on the mend, neither had expected this, Josef was the stiff stoical brother when they heard the news, Juan broke down, relying on Josef completely.

Neither need have worried, they led the two most outstanding platoons on base, as news spread their men took charge, packed for them, put them in a car, got them to the plane, stood as an honour guard whilst their plane taxied and took off, so much were they loved.

Once in the air Juan went to the toilet, coming back he approached Josef from behind, he saw his brother sobbing, quietly, his face hidden in his hands, easing back into his seat he pulled Josef into a hug.

"My turn Bro, go on, let it out, our precious Pops is gone, it's not fucking fair, but we'll make him proud of us".

Josef could hardly speak but his brother could understand him.

"Why, why, he did so much good, didn't hurt a fly, I want him back, it's not fair, he saved us".

Josef sobbed for most of the flight but as they approached Malaga he regained his composure.

"We need to be composed Juan, there'll be press at the airport and at home, Pops would have told us to hold our heads high, we need to do that for him, and there's Poppa and Sofia to consider, they're going to need our support now".

As the boys left the plane, they received condolences from the flight crew, all of them had known and loved Pauly, none of them had dry eyes.

Their car sped through the streets of Malaga followed by press motorcycles, but the blacked out car windows gave no opportunity for pictures.

At the gates of their home extra security guards were maintaining a clear path through the throng of reporters and locals.

Family had arrived from all over the world, Josef and Juan were the last to arrive.

Pauly's funeral was supposed to be a family affair, but the locals were having none of it.

The night before the funeral, at Reece's insistence, Pauly's body arrived home, he would spend his last night on earth with Reece and his family watching over him.

The locals took it to heart, Reece couldn't understand how they even found out about Pauly coming home, but they had, by late afternoon they'd started gathering, stretching further and further along the avenue.

By the time Pauly's casket arrived, for almost a mile, right up to the gates of the villa, the avenue was lined by people holding candles.

Reece, with his boys and Sofia, had stood on the roof terrace of the villa to watch as Pauly's body approached, flowers were being thrown like a carpet before him, the locals closing in behind the hearse, following it to the gates of the villa.

When Pauly was safely inside Reece went out to the gates, a few photographers snapped pictures but glares from the locals told them swiftly they were on dangerous ground, no more pictures were taken.

"I don't know what I can say, other than, thank you, he's home, I'll tell him what you did, I know he'd be amazed, he always was, whatever he did, he was always completely amazed that you were so grateful, when he considered he was just doing something that needed doing".

Reece couldn't go on, his voice breaking into a sob, he retreated back into the villa.

The funeral was to be at midday and everyone was up by eight o'clock the following morning.

At around eleven o'clock PJ asked Josef to get his Poppa dressed.

Reece had been with Pauly all night, and he showed no sign of leaving him to prepare himself for the upcoming service.

For Josef it was heartbreaking to hear his Poppas words as he entered the sunroom where Pauly had spent the night.

"I have to leave you now my love, just to get dressed, then I'll be back, I'll be by your side until it's over, just like I know you'll be by my side until my time comes, I love you Pauly, I always have, I always will, you're taking my heart with you, keep it safe until we meet again my love".

Pauly's casket was carried from its resting place in the villas sunroom by his sons and four of their cousins.

In the courtyard stood an open funeral landau drawn by two white horses wearing black plumage.

Once Pauly's casket was secured the mourners took their places.

The chief mourners, family, would walk the mile or so behind the casket to the church where Pauly, Pete and Beth had been christened, the same church where PJ and Lenny had been married.

Reece led the mourners, walking alone, carrying a single red rose.

Behind Reece were their three children, Josef, Sofia and Juan.

Next were Pete and Beth with PJ and Lenny, followed by Jaque and Dave.

Following them were Woody and Jacqueline then Billy, Jay and Jolly.

All of the children had been meant to ride in several limousines behind the walking mourners.

That had been the plan, until JJ rebelled, getting out of the limousine he announced he was walking, within seconds he was joined by all of the other children, leaving only the youngest with their nannies.

JJ took charge.

"Line up in twos, no talking, not a sound, keep it tidy, remember we're honouring Uncle Pauly".

Seeing the children lined up, the rest of the mourners got out of the limousines, following the children's example, lining up in twos and threes they walked behind.

It was perhaps a strange sight, but the locals understood, the family was showing how badly they were hurting.

Pauly's casket, borne upon an open landau, pulled by two white horses wearing black plumage, started its journey towards the church in Torremolinas, followed on foot by around sixty mourners, and two limousines, all members of this close family, maybe not all blood relatives, but members of this family all the same, each of them feeling a terrible sense of loss.

As the cortège emerged from the gates of the villa, there was silence, save the weeping of many locals who lined the avenue.

At Thorn Plaza, PJ and Lenny's home, Pauly's childhood home, the landau eased to a stop.

The Promenade seating area of SPECTRUM, along with the wide steps leading up to the restaurant, closed as a mark of respect, were full to capacity with locals.

As one, they bowed to the casket before the landau moved on.

Again at the church, locals lined the streets.

At the gates of the church Pauly was received by the same man who had christened him, now Archbishop Louis Sanchez, he'd contacted PJ the day before, openly crying, completely distraught to learn of Pauly's death, he'd begged PJ to send a plane for him, he would allow no one else to commit this beautiful boy's soul on his forward journey.

Josef, Juan and their four cousins lifted Pauly's casket from the landau and, following Archbishop Sanchez, started the slow procession into the church.

TBC ARB

Allan

Comments are welcome to cfgw2000@aol.com.

Thank you for giving me your time, enjoy.

Next: Chapter 48: Lifes Illusions II Hiatus


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